I'm sorry I know it's been a while. I hope this is worth the wait any comments what so ever are welcome. I'm kind of following the series but looser than my other story so enjoy! I uploaded this in a rush so I will check the grammar later.
Without further ado chapter 3...

DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN SMASH

Chapter 3 – Think of Me

"He's in," Eileen stated flatly while looking out the window of her New York office. As she turned around she was graced with three rather confused faces. First, Tom Levitt, the composer and second his partner in crime, Julia Houston, the writer. And of course, last but by no means least Derek Wills the newly hired director. After the audition it was clear to everyone that being able to control Derek and Tom was going to be a task and a half but perhaps a manageable one. No one really knows how far their relationship went and therefore don't really know how to take this new co-operation on both parts.

"Eileen, my dear, you know I usually support you through a lot, if not most of your decisions but why are you so adamant that this boy makes it in the chorus?" Derek asked with an unwavering curiosity.

"That's for me to know and for you to never find out," she cockily replied while gracing her colleagues with a sly smile.

"Why?" Karen asked her shift manager after being informed that she had to work an extra shift on Saturday – her usual day of rest.

"We're low on staff and we need the extra pair of hands. Besides I thought you need the extra money." It was true, ever since her doubts about being casted she had been trying to do everything she can to try and pay back Dev in any form she can. Obviously, because Dev doesn't know what's swimming around in her mind, he's reluctant to accept any form of payment. This is only adding to Karen's frustration but doesn't hinder her determination. After all she has to pay him back at some point right? She doesn't want to be indebted to him, does she?

"Yeah of course, that would be fantastic," Ivy replied to the voice on the other end of the phone. Now, Ivy has been stuck in the chorus for ten odd years, so as you can imagine she is sick and tired of being hidden in the background. Therefore when she was called up by Tom to give an update, she was ecstatic when he had asked for her help again. It meant that when all of this materialised she would be in the running to play Marilyn!

As Ivy sat in front of the vanity she couldn't stop herself from humming the tune I Wanna Be Loved by You, famously sung by the one and only, Miss Marilyn Monroe of course, in pure ecstasy of what could be in store for her. She loved Tom and there was no doubting that she owed an awful lot - if not everything - to him. But like Karen, she wasn't sure if she could live being indebted to him. Perhaps she should try and do something to pay him back? It would certainly be a start, but how would she go about it and would he even accept it?

"Karen, right?" Derek asked as he walked into a cafe and spotted the brunet serving coffee to the table in front of him.

"Oh hi, Derek right?" she replied with a smile and walked over to where he stood.

"That would indeed be me!"

"Well then," she started while turning 'round and looking over her shoulder, "Would you like to follow me then?"

"I would very much like to follow you," he repeated in jest and followed the young woman to a quiet corner of the cafe. It was a decent cafe, nothing like those over-the-top nightmare wannabe cafes but in reality are posh bars where people with bucket loads of money but no friends go to drown their sorrows. No, this cafe with nice, understated, under the radar if you like. The table which she led him too had photos hanging on the wall next to it. Photos of stars and some of just random celebrities; amongst the throng were:
Idina Menzel
Simon Cowell
Kristen Chenoworth

Even some West End stars:
Michael Ball
Andrew Lloyd Webber
Daniel Radcliffe
Kerry Ellis

There were some odd ones up there that Derek couldn't make heads or tails of as to why they were up there but then again there were a lot of things that Derek couldn't figure out so he didn't really spend much time dwelling on it.

"Love, may ask you a question?" he asked, his curiosity as to why they were in a slightly secluded area setting in.

"Of course,"

"Why are we in a secluded part of the cafe? Are you planning on torturing me?" he asked again in jest but this time with a sly smile.

"Boyfriend remember!" she responded. In a silent response, Derek clicked his fingers and swung his arms across his body feigning annoyance. In all honesty Derek couldn't care less whether she had a boyfriend or not because quite frankly he wasn't looking for any type of fling in any way. So whether she had a boyfriend or not, had no relevance in his life. Now a friendship was a different story but that is going a little off topic.

"The reason you're here Derek, is because I saw the looks you were getting when you walked in so I figured that you would want some privacy," she answered in all honesty.

"So have you figured out who I am yet?" he asked in curiosity but with some seriousness set in his tone.

"Not really, and please don't take offence by this, but I'm not sure I want to," she replied flatly with an apologetic smile.

"No offence taken at all! If I'm being honest that is a refreshing change really, it's nice having one person know me without knowing me, if that makes sense?" he replies lifting his arms to lean on the table in front him.

"It does, it makes perfect sense. Now, before my boss fires me, what can I get you?" she questioned with a smile and a chuckle at the back of her throat.

"You know what? Surprise me," Derek replied happy with the way this day was going so far. And with that Karen was off to the kitchen, ordering what only her and the cook would know, whether Derek was going to eat it was another thing. Although he tried to be ambitious with food, he was always craving some good home-cooked food and a decent roast to say the least. It's not that he doesn't know how to cook; it's just that he chooses not to.

"And here it is," the lawyer responded while placing a stack of papers in front of Eileen. She flicked through them nonchalantly, honestly she didn't care what Jerry wanted. She was divorcing him anyway so really whatever he wants, he's not getting; it was simple as that in Eileen's mind but apparently he thinks differently. Perhaps another martini in the face will sort that out?

Really all Eileen wants is Derek to pull this Marilyn Musical off so she can show it to some investors, get a couple million dollars and leave Jerry at the door. That, however, is easier said than done.

"Tom?" Julia asked cautiously and he looked up from his place behind the piano with a pencil in his mouth. "What happened between you and Derek?" she asked weary of the reaction she was going to get. She knew that Derek was a no-go area but she never really knew or understood why if she was honest with herself. All she knew was there was lying, cheating, (of some sort), and an end to a friendship.

"Julia," he started with a sigh and looked down to the keys that his fingers were now just grazing. It was almost as if he could burst into an overture with simply himself and the piano, with the emotions he was feeling. But then again it was so long ago; perhaps it was an overreaction on his part? He was just getting started in the business he couldn't understand why his best friend could possibly do that to him. Derek – the name was like poison on his tongue; what he did to Tom was, in his eyes, unforgivable and gave him the right to hate him with all his guts if need be.

The show was a flop; they all knew that. But they were all were so young, so naive, they thought that they could just stick together and all would okay. Oh no, how could they think such a thing, in this business – show business – you look out for one person; yourself. Derek learnt that quickly but not the way you would think. He learnt from his father.

Tom was standing by the wings waiting for Derek to come out with a glint in his eye that said, "I hope you know what to do, because I don't have a clue," Derek knew he could do one of two things. He just didn't quite know what those two things were...

Derek couldn't stop thinking of what happened to completely obliterate his friendship with Tom and honestly he couldn't even figure out which side the betrayal was on. As he walked out the cafe, what started as a good day changed slightly...?He couldn't figure what changed but something did. Karen ended up bringing him just a chicken salad and a glass of water, he thanked her but even she knew something happened. Derek left twenty minutes later, leaving the money and her tip on the table. He wasn't sure if he was ever going to see her again but maybe it was better if he didn't, he didn't trust himself. And not in the way of sex, (to put it crudely), but these sudden mood changes, what if they got worse? What if he was to do something unforgivable? Derek knew that he wasn't bi-polar; he knew the symptoms since he helped look after a friend with the mental illness back in England. So he knew what the signs were that he ought to be looking for. And he looked. He really did. For months, he logged his mood changes, studied how drastic they really were but it didn't even come to the conclusion of a mild form of the disease.

Surely Derek should be happy about that right? But he couldn't help the disappointment that waved over him after the same result came from a psychiatrist. It was almost as if he wanted to have the disease; that if he had, he could blame something for it and they could give him something to make it go away. As childish as it sounds, he wanted them to make the pain disappear.

No.

It wasn't going anywhere anytime soon, so he couldn't care less anymore. The moods are just getting irritating and the memories are becoming more vivid each day that passes.

"Sam, I could actually get the part," Ivy exclaimed over the phone as Derek walked past with his head hung low and his hands stuffed in his pockets.

"Ivy, that's amazing, but seriously babe it's three in the morning!" Sam replied in a tired voice with a smile playing on his lips.

"Oh right, sorry, Skype soon?" she asked reducing her voice to a whisper like it would make a difference.

"Of course, goodnight Ivy" and with that the line went dead. Sam was a guy that Ivy had worked with in the chorus about ten years ago. They hit it off straight away and then she found out that he was gay but that didn't really hinder anything. All that meant was she now had another gay friend, after their job together all those years ago they parted ways but they constantly stayed in touch. Every weekend religiously they Skype'd, of course the time difference was always a problem since Sam wasn't regularly in the US. That meant that the time difference was never just one or two hours, (at least not usually anyway), it went anywhere from four onwards. At the moment he was in the warmth of Spain so that meant he was six hours ahead. This time, however, Ivy was just too excited to care what time it was, she had to share this whole thing with someone other than Tom.

"I'm not leaving you!"

"You have to go!"

"You know me better, so just shut up stay awake!" Derek shouted back, the fire was still raging around him and he had nearly lost consciousness twice – the screams prevented that from happening though. Men, women, children, they were all running towards an exit. As a consequence, the people that tripped or just collapsed were simply trampled upon until someone screamed "STOP! THEY'RE NOT DEAD LET THEM GET UP!" That caused a substantial amount of people to regain their senses and guide the people on the floor up and out. Derek though was still stuck; he had managed to get most of his leg out from under the beam but not all of it.

The high pitch squeak of Derek's alarm woke him and he couldn't have been more grateful. It was the usual nightmare but it didn't have less of an effect on him. He sat up and brushed his hand through his hair which was damp from the cold sweats that he woke up in. When – in all that is good – will these nightmares end?

After getting out of bed and heading into the shower he came to the conclusion of never. It was as simple as that unless...he didn't know what that unless would be, he didn't have a clue if they were ever going to end. They have to at some point right?

Today he had a lot to do, so dwelling on the past and in this case something that seemed impossible was not going to help. He had a meeting with the creative team this morning to sort out when the casting will start and to sort the other details that needed to be ironed out.

As he headed over to Eileen's office he grabbed a bagel while trying to dodge those who did know he was. Derek, however, had come up with a trick to shake these people off, it wasn't new but it worked. Run like mad before doing a fake turn. It was so simple, and yet it worked so well. It also helped his balance, doing a fake turn at high speeds nearly caused him to topple over the first few times.

"Derek, why are you panting?" Julia asked as she walked over to the sofa in Eileen's office.

"Running," was all he managed to get out before grabbing a very large glass of water.

"Typical," Tom huffed without a glance his way, Derek simply rolled his eyes and headed to the armchair.

"Where's Eileen?" he asked after noticing the empty desk in front of them.

"On her way, she said something about throwing something at Jerry?" Julia replied while Derek just laughed and looked down at his phone. The silence remained for a while and with these two boys in the room that was never good. The longer the silence, the higher the tension so that was why Julia was incredibly thankful when Eileen walked into the room.

"Sorry, sorry, I know I'm late," Eileen stated as she rushed into the room, promptly setting her bag down on the desk before leaning on it. "So where do we start?" she asked with a smile on her face.

And so the day begins...

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