"I am not dressing up."
"But it's Halloween!"
"We don't have any different plans than usual."
"Yeah, but we'll have trick-or-treaters!"
"So you can get dressed up and answer the door."
"It's boring to get dressed up on your own."
"Then don't."
"But the trick-or-treaters!"
"Will have seen worse. I used to be one of the trick-or-treaters. I know."
"Please?"
"You know I'm immune to the pout."
"You're not even looking, how do you know I'm doing the pout?"
"How long have I known you?"
"Good point."
"…"
"Cas."
"Dean."
"Wear the goddamn cat ears."
"No."
"Wear them."
"No."
"Why not?"
"Why would I?"
"It's Halloween."
"I don't care."
"I feel like you just trampled my baby."
"I just don't like Halloween, Dean."
"Okay, but wear the cat ears."
"I'd rather not."
"Please?"
"I am not a cat."
"That's why I bought ears for you."
"No."
"I even made sure I got them in the right size! You know, with your big head."
"I appreciate the thought involved. No."
"You're the most cat-like person I know."
"What a compliment."
"You'd look really cute."
"I am a grown man, I have no desire to look 'cute'."
"Fine, I'll put them on for you."
"Get your hands away from me!"
"No!"
"Unhand me, foul beast!"
"What?"
"It's a quote from… something. Gabe likes it."
"Right."
"Leave me alone."
"Not until you wear the cat ears."
"…"
"…"
"Fine, I'll wear them."
"Really?"
"No."
"You're awful to me."
"What ears are you wearing?"
"Panda ears."
"What?"
"I'm a panda."
"Pandas obstinately refuse to mate."
"I'm a panda for tonight."
"Really?"
"Yeah, 'cos you refuse to wear the cat ears."
"Do I have another fetish to be worried about?"
"Shut up."
"I don't think pandas mate with cats in real life."
"Yeah, pandas 'obstinately refuse to mate'."
"I don't think either pandas or cats hold any desire for the other species whatsoever in real life."
"Then they've never seen me as a panda."
"I hardly think that will change their desires."
"I'm wounded."
"You still look remarkably human-like."
"Well yeah, I was gonna get you to paint my face, but you're being a killjoy."
"We don't even have facepaints."
"Yeah we do!"
"Since when?"
"Since I bought the ears, of course."
"Why are you being so obstinate this year?"
"What do you mean? I love Halloween."
"You look shifty. We didn't do anything last year and you didn't complain."
"You distracted me!"
"Regardless, you had no pre-prepared costumes last year."
"…"
"…"
"If you put the ears on now, I won't force you to have whiskers."
"I'm not wearing the ears, and even if I did, I wouldn't want to wear them without the whiskers; that would be stupid."
"You're impossible."
"No, merely highly improbable."
"Wear the ears."
"It's not even 5pm! No!"
"It's never too early for Halloween to start."
"That's a faulty argument if ever I heard one."
"Whilst on the 31st of October, it's never too early for Halloween to start!"
"I'm not wearing the ears."
"Okay, what do I need to bribe you with?"
"Who did you bet you could get me into a costume?"
"What? I wouldn't bet on this. I know you're stubborn."
"Then why are you even attempting it?"
"I'm more stubborn?"
"Are you sure about that?"
"Of course. Hey, don't scoff. Wear the ears."
"No."
"I'll give you the last slice of pie?"
"You're the one who likes pie here."
"You like it, too."
"You like it more, though."
"Well yeah, so me offering you the pie is a really worthy sacrifice, and you should wear the ears."
"I wouldn't dare deprive you of pie."
"I'll make dinner for a week."
"I'd rather not die from food poisoning."
"That was uncalled for. I make great burgers."
"We can't eat burgers for a week."
"I've done it before."
"I know, Dean."
"Don't touch the pudge. You know how I feel about that."
"You know how I feel about the cat ears."
"I'll let you watch what you want on TV for a week."
"I don't care about TV."
"I'll let you choose the music when we go out for a month."
"How often do we go out in the Impala in a month?"
"You're testing the limits of my creativity here."
"Get more generous, then you may stand a chance."
"Not a solid no!"
"It's pretty unlikely."
"Not solid!"
"Yes, dear."
"What if I just promise to make it worth your while?"
"Your terms of 'worth my while' and mine may differ."
"If you reject it, then you're definitely missing out."
"I'm sure I'll cope."
"If you don't accept, I'll start withholding things instead of offering incentives."
"I think I have more to withhold."
"Are you threatening to withhold things from me if I start withholding?"
"I may be."
"That's just rude."
"So is this entire conversation."
"What?"
"I have expressed my desire not to wear the cat ears, and yet you're forcing them on me."
"…"
"…"
"Please?"
"Fuck you."
"That was more rude."
"…"
"…"
"Oh, fine; I'll wear them."
"Really?"
"Yes."
"For more than a minute?"
"I think the whiskers will take longer than that to put on and take off."
"Until I agree the evening is over."
"With a limit of midnight."
"Deal!"
"If you take any pictures, I will throw a Molotov cocktail at you."
"How would you make one?"
"The internet is a wonderful place, darling."
"What's with the pet names?"
"I'm feeling the condescending air."
"Okay, I don't care; you're wearing the ears! Now paint my face."
"You're impossible."
"Aw, I love you too."
have y'all noticed these are getting longer again? especially since this one's pure dialogue, you should be really proud