That Evening – Celebrations Turn To Nightmares
"And that is everything."
Ryan called from the back of Zac's van.
"What about upstairs?"
Aaron called as he saw feet on the landing.
"Nearly done."
Scarlett replied chirpily.
"Actually it is done. Jackson interrupted, leaning over the banister smiling down at Aaron. Come and have a look."
"He'll love it. Don't worry."
Victoria whispered to Jackson as they heard five pairs of feet trudging up the stairs.
"I hope so."
He deliberately held his breath.
Walking into his bedroom Aaron's jaw hit the floor. Jackson had done a complete makeover. As well as their new bed he'd put up shelves, a desk, build a bigger fitted wardrobe, installed a new TV and painted. As a special surprise Jackson had bought Aaron a picture frame and the girls had spent the better part of that morning, whilst he painted, choosing and arranging all the photos Aaron and Marlon had of them and Paddy.
"I…I…it's wonderful."
Aaron stuttered as tears trickled down his face. Behind him the lads all muttered their agreement.
"Good. Jackson breathed a sigh of relief. I didn't want you to think I was trying to change everything. All your stuff is still here and I haven't touched Paddy's room."
For the first time ever words failed Aaron, so he walked up to Jackson and enveloped him in his arms, squeezing him tightly, so he could feel his heart through his shirt beating in time with his own. He whispered to him.
"I love you so much. Thank you. It is perfect."
*Cough* *Cough*
Cain interrupted their moment.
"Any chance of a brew? I'm gaspin'."
"We will do you one better. Give us an hour to get ourselves sorted then meet us in the pub. Drinks are on us to say thank you."
"That's what I'm talkin' about."
Cain smiled.
"Plus we're nipping into town for a couple if anyone wants to join us?"
Jackson threw out there as an afterthought. Aaron stared at him blankly. That was unwelcome news to him. But to his surprise everyone accepted even Cain.
Whilst Jackson was in the shower Aaron raided his wardrobe looking for a suitable outfit for their night out. He usually didn't have a problem in this department, but he looked at everything at least five times before flinging them on his bed. Jackson walked in to find him curled up, the covers over his head, sobbing. He lay beside him and then cradled him in his arms.
"I'm sorry. I'm really really really really sorry."
"What for? It was me who suggested town. You were quite happy just to go for a quiet drink in the pub."
"We were havin' such a good day and now I've gone and messed it up."
"Aaron you haven't messed anything up. Today has been perfect. I moved in with the lad I love. Tonight and going out is not important. What is important is that we are starting a new chapter in our life together. I don't want to put you under any pressure."
"So we don't have to go to Bar West?"
"Not if you don't want to."
"I just think it is way too soon to go back there. The flashbacks have barely stopped."
"I get that. I dream about that night too. I still see his face and all the blood."
He shivered involuntary.
"Is that why you have stopped driving?"
Jackson deliberately changed track.
"Dave said we should challenge our fears."
"So we…well I should go to town then?"
"I guess so."
"And you should drive."
"I'll face mine if you face yours."
"Okay."
"Not like this though. Shower first. And don't worry I'll find you something to wear."
Jackson goaded him good naturedly.
"I want to wear that blue shirt I bought."
"It's a bit dressy even for town."
"I want to make an effort. Besides it matches my eyes."
"And no one knew you were gay? Mind boggling."
Jackson asked sarcastically.
"Ey."
Aaron slapped him playfully.
"That's it. Shower. Now! Whipping him with the towel from around his waist completely naked Jackson chased him into the bathroom. And hurry up. We said we'd be in the Woolly for seven and it is quarter too now."
"Alright. Alright. Geez. Keep your undies on."
"I will till later. Now hurry up we have a hot date with Cain, Ryan, Adam, Scarlett, Hannah, Holly and Victoria."
"I know. He peeped round the door. Why do you think I am wearing my best shirt?"
"I have no idea. I didn't think we were visiting my mam today though."
Jackson quipped.
"Oh Ha Ha. It really isn't that dressy."
Aaron frowned as he eyed himself up and down in their new full length mirror.
"No it isn't. You look great. Lets go we are late already."
"I know, but are you sure I look alright?"
"Beautiful. Stunning. Handsome. Jackson bundled him down the stairs and grabbed his coat as he pushed him out the front door. Get going or that mirror goes tomorrow. God you're worse than any woman I know for having to check yourself out."
"But I do look okay?"
Aaron continued to fish for compliments.
"Van. In. Now. But for the record you do look sexy. You always do."
Aaron blushed. He still wasn't great at accepting positive comments, especially from men.
"Thanks. He whispered shyly. You look good too."
Leaning over he kissed Jackson lightly on the cheek.
"What was that for?"
"Nothing. Well…everything. I love you."
"I love you too."
Walking into the pub hand-in-hand they were greeted by a unanimous cheer. Hating the spotlight Aaron tried to hide behind Jackson, so he sent him to sit at their usual table with Adam and the girls, whilst Cain and Ryan joined him at the bar.
"Right. What can I get you lads?"
"It is my round Bob and it will be 1 2 3 4 no 5 beers, 3 vodka and cokes, one for yourself and… He heard his mum and Chaz enter the room bickering as per usual. And a bottle of your finest House White and two glasses."
"Anything else?"
"Take one for Diane and whatever Zac and Lisa will have when they come in."
"Right, well that will be £6 for the Vodkas, £14 for the beers and £4 for the wine, so that will be £24 in total please."
"Better throw in another bottle of that wine and don't forget Diane's drink."
"Okay so that is £30 please."
"And that is everything. Cheers."
"Cheers. Have a good night."
"We will. Drinks up! Mam! Mam!"
"What?"
He interrupted what was shaping up to be a cat fight.
"Stop bickering like school kids and join the party. He squeezed himself in beside Aaron, kissing him fleetingly on the cheek. Pull up a chair we got you two bottles in."
"Really? Why?"
Chaz questioned their motives.
"'Cos we wanted to help you with one before we head into town."
"Awwww can't we join you I need a night out."
"Let me think about that. Mmmmmm no."
"Oy cheeky."
"It is hardly cool to go clubbing with your mam."
Jackson defended his boyfriend.
"You've been with family before. Hazel protested. And I'll have you know in my younger days I was the height of cool."
Jackson covered his eyes in embarrassment as his mum attempted to demonstrate her winning dance moves.
"Watch it! Chaz screeched. You'll have my eye out."
She batted Hazel's flapping hands away from her face.
"And on that note. Jackson chose to not intervene. I am driving Aaron and Cain. Ryan you and Adam can escort the girls."
"Why am I going with you two? Can't Ryan?"
"No. I need you to do me a favour."
Aaron mumbled.
"What favour?"
"I'll explain on the way. Adam you will probably get there before us so just go in, we won't be long."
"Why where are you going?"
Adam may be open minded, but he had only visited Bar West once so he was slightly concerned by this tweaking of the plan.
"A short detour. I'll tell you later."
He covered mysteriously as Ryan was hovering over his shoulder.
"You can tell me now."
Cain insisted. Aaron agreed in order to keep the peace. He needed his help, so he wasn't about to annoy him.
"Fine. Outside. I need you to come with us, because…"
"Spit it out."
"We are going to drive to where we had the crash that night and just in case…you will probably have to drive to the bar."
"Are you sure about this?"
Cain was not exactly soft, but he was concerned that Aaron was maybe taking things too fast.
"I'm as sure as I am going to get. Can you do that for me?"
"Yeah of course. Is Jackson okay with it?"
"I don't know."
"Maybe you should ask him."
Cain tried to not sound too patronizing.
"It was the counselor's idea. Something about facing our fears."
"And that's all well and good, but it may be too soon."
"We'll see won't we. I just want everything back to normal."
"Well I am happy to help."
"Thanks. Great the taxi is here."
"You round up the troop and I'll give the driver the details."
"Are you sure?"
"Yes. I know it is a gay bar, but I am not that embarrassed. What's it called anyway?"
"Bar West and it is in Hotton. I don't know the name of the street, but they'll know it."
"That's useful."
It took Cain all his will power not to roll his eyes at this point.
"Well Jackson doesn't either."
Aaron pouted.
"Just go and get them the meter's running. He stuck his head through the passenger window. Bar West please mate. They are all just inside."
"How many passengers?"
"Four no five."
"Big night out then?"
"Yeah. My nephew and his boyfriend have just moved in together so it is a party of sorts."
"I don't get the whole gay thing myself. Not that I have a problem with it mind. He clarified, as Cain didn't look like the type of bloke to get on the wrong side of. I mean each to their own and all that."
"Don't worry mate. I'm working on that myself. Cain admitted. But if he is happy that is all that matters. And here they all are. Where the heck have you lot been?"
"Toilet obviously. Just powdering our noses."
Ryan replied sarcastically.
"Where are the other two muppets?"
"Having a quick word with Chaz and Hazel."
"You lot can get going. We can follow you there."
"Cain…?"
"They will tell you later Adam."
"He just did. Look after them."
"I will. Don't worry. To Bar West please driver."
"Bbbbbut isn't that a gay bar?"
Cain laughed as the taxi pulled away and he could hear Ryan babbling, digging himself into a deeper and deeper hole.
"Right. Time to go."
The lads appeared at his shoulder.
"And you are both sure about this?"
"Lets just get it over with."
Aaron answered less than confidently.
"Agreed."
Jackson agreed nervously.
"Fine. Lets go."
Cain walked over to the van as Aaron took hold of Jackson's hand and interlaced their fingers.
"We can do this together. Aaron reminded him encouragingly. You said that. Remember?"
"I know."
"And if we can do this, believe me we can do anything, because I love you."
"I love you too."
"Come on you two. I don't have all night."
"Here we go then."
Smiling as best he could Jackson squeezed Aaron's hand.
Jackson felt reasonably comfortable driving down the well lit streets of Hotton, but as they reached the outer country roads he consciously slowed down. Beside him Aaron was shaking and he was gripping his leg so tight he was surprised he hadn't drawn blood.
"You don't have to do this yet."
Cain directed this at both of them.
"I do."
"No. No you don't. We don't. Jackson gripped his hand. You're not weak."
"I just want it to stop. All the flashbacks and everything. I can't move on if I have to see him like that."
"You're not the only one. Marlon and I see exactly the same thing every time we close our eyes. You weren't in it alone."
"It doesn't affect you the same."
Aaron blushed, as he deliberately turned away from Cain.
"No but that has stopped."
"For now."
Aaron muttered.
"Aaron. I know it is embarrassing for you, but we will deal with it. We can deal with anything. You have been through a traumatic experience. Cain had cottoned on to the gist of their conversation, but had the tact to appear oblivious. He had no idea how difficult things had been for them. Aaron had been slightly less communicative that was true, but in all honesty he hadn't noticed much of a difference in his behaviour, apart from he'd been more open with Jackson in public, which wasn't a bad thing. David said this could help."
"You had better drive. It was further down there."
Aaron pointed out of the window for Cain's benefit.
Jackson restarted the engine and gripped the wheel. His knuckles turned white, but the shaking didn't stop.
"It was just down there."
He repeated for his own benefit before checking his mirrors twice to make sure the road was one hundred per cent clear before crawling out.
"Can you speed up? It is illegal to go this slow. As soon as the van stopped both boys jumped out and threw up. I knew this was a bad idea."
Cain grumbled as Aaron sank to the floor in tears, pale and shaking and Jackson leant against the van not looking much better.
"Lets go. Aaron pleaded. Now."
"What to the club?"
"No. Home."
"Fine. You're driving. Jackson handed Cain the keys before making his way over to Aaron to help him up. Come on. It's okay. He wrapped his arm round his shoulder and tried to lift him to his feet, but he wouldn't move. Aaron you'll have to help me here a bit babe. He curled up tighter and refused to move. What's wrong? Jackson tried to lift his head up, but he muttered into his knees. Say that again?"
"It hasn't stopped."
Aaron whispered as he straightened his legs, so Jackson caught sight of the wet patch on his jeans.
"It's okay. Not a problem. Being ever resourceful Jackson removed his jacket and tied it round Aaron's waist, albeit the wrong way, so it covered his legs. Lets go home. We can have a bath and an early night. He held him as he cried into his chest. Come on stand up."
"I am so sorry."
"Stop apologizing."
"You can change your mind about moving in with me if you want? I mean this can't be that much fun for you."
"It's not."
Jackson nudged him playfully.
"Thanks very much."
"Aaron I love you and despite all of this today has been…well it has been perfect."
"You must be mad."
Aaron stated incredulously.
"No. I would be mad to let you go."
He enveloped Aaron in his arms, as tears trickled down their faces.
"God. I love you Jackson Walsh."
"I love you too. You must be sick of saying that by now."
He quipped.
"Nope not really."
Aaron managed a watery smile.
"Good. 'Cos I'm not sick of hearing it."
"Come on you two. It's freezing in here."
"Put on the heater then."
Aaron shouted cheekily ignoring Cain's obvious non-verbal reply.
"Better not keep him waiting."
Jackson offered Aaron his hand.
"What's a couple of minuets more?"
Aaron smiled as he pulled Jackson closer, their lips touched, parting to allow their eager tongues access to explore and taste every nook and cranny of one another, entwining and battling for supremacy of the kiss.
"Van NOW. Cain hollered to interrupt what was fast turning into a live sex show, as the kiss grew more passionate and hands had started to wander under clothing revealing skin, which he drew the line at. That has to be illegal."