"So this is your mother's laboratory..." I trailed off, staring at the various ingredients scattered about the area. There was probably at least one of every alchemy component in Skyrim in this room. I turned my head to the right to see several shelves lined with books of various sorts.
"That it is... It's bigger than I thought." Serana was walking around, admiring the large room we were in. The most noticeable features of the entire room were the large rings etched into the ground. There was definitely some sort of significance to them, and I bet we'll figure out what that is in a moment.
"It's one heck of a laboratory." I noted, eyeing the shelves of alchemy ingredients as I did. I idly approached one table. It was lined with bones of varied types. Some were from humans, a few from trolls, and who would have thought, dragon bones. Where her mother got dragon bones in Skyrim before Alduin arrived, you could only guess. Maybe she dug up a dragon burial mound? I let my hand run over the dragon bone, and noted it was a rib. A very large rib, rivaling the size of a mammoth's tusk.
"I didn't even know it existed. She had an alchemy setup in her study but it doesn't even come close to this. Judging by the equipment and materials," Serana was walking by a shelf lined with more ingredients and materials. I could only guess what all these things did. I was a very amateur alchemist, after all. "She was trying to advance her necromancy."
Most people in Skyrim deeply frowned on necromancy, excluding the college of course. It was a branch of conjuration that raises the dead to do your bidding. The people, especially Nords, valued their dead and emphasized honoring the dead, and treating them with the utmost respect. I, for one, respect the dead as much as any other man. But if raising the dead or summoning them from Oblivion was going to be a great help to you, then I saw little wrong with it. I was a bit of an 'ends justify the means' type of man. But as long as those means aren't too extreme.
"To what end would she have been advancing it to?" I asked. I was no expert on the field, and it makes one wonder what exactly she wanted to achieve that others could not.
"I don't know. Not longevity, that's for sure." When Serana saw my questioning expression, she added, "Kind of a waste of time for an immortal vampire."
"Could you look around for something to shed some light on this? A journal, maybe. I'm going to look around over here." Serana then turned around and approached another set of shelves. I approached the shelves lined with books and began searching, allowing my mind to wonder to the earlier events.
Getting here wasn't that difficult, I had to admit. But I couldn't say the same for Serana. When we made it to the courtyard, she froze up for a moment. The once serene courtyard lay in ruins. The garden was almost no more. Nightshade was the only thing still living in the garden. And weeds. The look of distress that marred her features struck me, and I was compelled to make an attempt at comforting her. She told me of how it used to be so beautiful and peaceful. She was shaken, like she'd never seen anything so horrible in her life. It was noticeable, the way she trembled slightly as she ran her slender fingers along the Nightshade's stem.
This place was more to her than just a garden that she and her mother worked on. In a way, it was symbolic. This was the peace that resided in the castle, amidst the turmoil that the prophecy created. When Valerica left, taking Serana and the Scrolls with her, Harkon lost it. He took it out on the courtyard, sealing it off from the great hall, and ransacking the garden. And the peace was shattered, never to return. The only way the ordeal was going to end was with one of them, I'd make sure that one is Harkon, dead.
Ah, here we go.
I grabbed the small leather bound book from the shelves and opened it to the first page. Written in neat, loopy handwriting was Valerica's name. I shut the journal and approached Serana, who was poking around the alchemy shelves, seemingly fascinated by the contents.
"I found your mother's notes." Serana's head snapped in my direction and she eagerly turned away from the shelves to see the journal.
"You did? Let me see them." She snatched the journal from my hands and began flipping through the pages slowly.
"Amazing. My mother figured out how to create a portal to the Soul Cairn. The Soul Cairn is... I'll get to that in a bit. If I'm reading this right, the ingredients should all be here." Serana's eyes never left the journal as she studied its contents. My gaze wandered over to the rings in the ground. That must be the portal to this Soul Cairn thing. No use in rushing to getting her to explain just what that is.
"We need a handful of soul gem shards, some finely-ground bone meal, a good bit of purified void salts..." Serana trailed off and a frown found its way to her face as she growled, "Damn it."
"What's wrong?" This couldn't be good.
"We're going to need a sample of her blood. If we could get that, we wouldn't even be trying to do this in the first place." Serana closed the journal and crossed her arms before pacing back and forth. I rubbed my chin thoughtfully for a moment before coming up with a solution. They were related, so why shouldn't Serana's blood not work?
"You share her blood." I told her. The look on Serana's face lightened and she smiled slightly at the small revelation.
"That could work. Let's hope it does. Mistakes with these kinds of things tend to be...Gruesome. Let's just look around. Everything we need is bound to be here. Mother would be sure to have plenty at hand." I approached the table lined with bones that I was looking at earlier.
The bone meal should be somewhere here. A small sparkle on the table caught my attention, and I found a small golden ring with a shiny ruby.
I picked it up and slid it onto my pinky, since it was rather small. I wriggled my fingers slightly and inspected my hands, trying to figure out the enchantment. After a moment of fiddling with the ring, it began generating a small blue aura around it. A ring of Magicka. Maybe Serana could put it to good use. I turned around and approached her as she examined a table.
"Hey, I got something for you." I held the ring out on an open palm as I got closer. Serana's eyes darted back and forth between the ring and my face.
"Honey, you're not asking me to marry you, are you?" The vampire's teasing tone caused me to stop dead in my tracks, and set off a number of reactions. My cheeks heated up and I became red as a ripe tomato, my mind scrambling for an answer.
Hey, she called you "honey"!
I silenced the mocking voice in the back of my head, as I fumbled over my words to form a coherent reply.
"No! I mean, you're attractive and all but that's not the point. Not that I wouldn't ask a nice lady such as yourself! Well. I mean... The point is," My free hand covered my face as the beautiful sound of Serana's laughter reached my ears. At least she was enjoying this. "Just take the damned thing!"
Serana took the ring from my outstretched hand and wore it on her ring finger, the teasing look not leaving her face. "What does it do?"
"You won't wear out as quickly when casting spells." I muttered, avoiding eye contact, lest I turn even redder.
"How thoughtful of you, Mikhael." Serana drawled in an overly-sweet tone. "No, but seriously, Mikhael. Thank you."
Serana gave an appreciative smile, the teasing now absent. I made my way back to the table in search of the bone meal. The troll skull on the table made me think of Gunmar and his battle trolls. Oh, those vampires were in for it.
"You know, being in the undercroft earlier brought back some memories." Serana's conversational tone made me glad that my humiliation was over.
"Oh yeah? You spent a lot of time down there, I take it?" I glanced behind me to see her picking up what appeared to be the soul gem shards, a fond look on her face. I continued rifling about the table in search of the bone meal, patiently awaiting her reply.
"I liked to explore. My parents almost never let me leave the island, so yeah, I poked around there a lot. It was quieter back then." She was probably referring to the death hounds, skeevers, and gargoyles.
"I guess a little girl was enough to scare off the rats." Serana's statement conjured a mental image of a smaller version of Serana with her arms spread wide open as she chased away several rats, giggling all the way. I just barely stopped myself from laughing at the adorable thought, and instead decided to tease her back.
"You sounded like a weird little kid." Serana's response was to throw a soul gem at me, a playful smile present. I easily avoided the projectile and let it shatter on the wall in front of me. I watched the pieces fall onto the table, and right next to the finely-ground bone meal. I grabbed the entire bowl, and brought it up to my face to inspect it.
"Maybe I was. But I think I turned out okay." Came Serana's proper reply as she approached me, soul gem shards in hand. I raised the bone meal for her to see and she nodded in acknowledgement.
"It sounds pretty lonely though." I voiced what just occurred to me. I felt a pang of sympathy for the vampire before me that awkwardly rubbed a hand on her arm as she searched for a response, the cheeriness from earlier wiped away.
"It was. But I guess I got used to it." Serana continued up the stairs, and I silently fell in tow behind her. She set the shards down on the alchemy table and waited for me to set the bone meal down as well. What I said seemed to have stirred something up. Serana seemed rather solemn all of a sudden, and it felt so unlike her. But, I suppose I couldn't really blame her.
"Do you still feel that way?" Serana seemed to lighten up slightly at the sound of my concerned voice. She leaned back against the wall next to the table before replying.
"A little bit... That's one of the reasons I wanted to come with you." Serana's soft, almost shy tone made my heart thump faster than necessary as I smiled at her.
I continued the search for the void salts with Serana following not far behind, assisting me in scanning the shelves. I found it in no time and placed a hand on the bowl, when her own hand landed on mine. For a moment, I was glad for the thick gloves, otherwise, my hand would have jerked back involuntarily from the coldness of her touch and the motion would have offended Serana.
I looked up from our hands to the owner of the hand that rested on mine. In the dim lighting, I could just barely make out the soft look she wore. But of course, her bright orange eyes pierced through the darkness in the most stunning way possible, and I felt my legs weaken at their gaze.
"Do you ever feel like that?" She asked. Her genuine concern, mixed with curiosity, returning the concern I always showed for her, caused my heart to beat faster yet. I had to imagine that little to nobody before myself would ask her how she felt, or how she was doing, or if she was happy, or simply, show that they cared about her. Of course there was her mother, but that probably wasn't the same.
When I thought about it, ever since the death of my parents during the Great War, nobody really showed me any care or concern either. I was never really close to anyone until Serana. There was Jordis and Ysolda, and several other failed conquests, but they were hardly like Serana. Nobody was like Serana. Serana was more than just a woman I wanted to make mine. In the past two weeks of travelling together, I learned so much about her, and began deeply caring for her more than I thought possible, and I think she might feel the same. She was more than just a pretty face
Other than them, I was just the Dragonborn to most people. Or the Listener. Archmage, Harbinger, whatever grand title in Skyrim there was to be had. But nobody took the time to really show that they cared about me or my well being. The closest I ever got to that was the Dark Brotherhood, and how everyone treated each other like a strange little family.
But even then, I became accustomed to always travelling by myself, and not taking followers or companions with me. I was used to working alone, and Serana was the first companion that I travelled with in a long time. The reason for this was because I didn't want blood on my hands. I lived a dangerous life, and people were bound to get killed if they followed me into battle. So I avoided taking people along. Maybe that was one of the reasons I wasn't close to anyone.
"Is it just you, or do you have... People in your life?" Serana reiterated when I did not respond immediately, taking a step closer so we were but inches away.
"I'm used to working alone." I replied automatically. The look that crossed Serana's face didn't go unnoticed, and I regretted my words immediately. She took that the wrong way, and insecurity clouded her features.
"Does it bother you that I'm here?" The hurt in her voice that she tried to hide and the sag of her shoulders as she asked it caused me to send my other hand up on a whim to gently cup her face. The motion caused her to stiffen at first before relaxing and easing her cheek into my gloved palm as she placed her own hand on mine.
She wants you to enjoy her company.
"Not in the slightest. I'm glad you're here with me." I let my reply come out as a whisper. The whisper effectively wiped away all the distress that marked her face, replacing it with a small, genuine smile. Serana gently lowered my hand from her face to hold both my hands in front of her.
"Me too." She replied as softly as I did. Serana was silent for a few moments as she stared at me. The stare wasn't intense; it was soft. Soft was a word I associated with Serana a lot, I noted. I was glad though. Glad that she could be soft around me without fear of judgment. There was something behind her deep, shining eyes, but I couldn't make out just what that was.
Trust. And more.
For the first time in forever, I didn't feel like telling the voice in the back of my head to be quiet. Instead, I simply enjoyed the closeness while it lasted, and allowed Serana to continue her thinking. Maybe this was a good sign. Maybe the sort of intimate moment we were experiencing was a step closer to her being emotionally and physically closer to me.
"Before, when things would really get bad between my parents... They would shout and argue, and throw stuff around sometimes. I'd be so scared. I used the undercroft to isolate myself from it all. It sort of helped me cope but it made me feel even more lonely. I know, maybe it sounds a bit stupid, still running and hiding from stuff like that at my age." She wasn't looking at me anymore as she spoke. Her eyes were locked onto the spiky chest piece of my armor.
Loneliness. I looked into her eyes that avoided mine, and it came to me that loneliness is what scarred the deepest recesses of her soul. This immortal girl with a dysfunctional family. This vampire that could crush a man's skull with one hand. Serana, who came into my life, the moment I gave my blood to that pedestal. Serana, who bites her lip when she is deep in thought. Serana, whose bright eyes had Mara's kindness and Talos' strength. Serana, who's greatest fear was winding up alone. Serana, who has come to mean more to me than I could imagine.
It was at that moment when I decided that I would be the one to keep her company. I would make sure she would never be alone. I would be there for her for as long as I could.
"What if I promised you," I leaned my head, taking care not to hit her with my helmet, to rest my forehead against hers, and brought our entwined hands up to chest level. "I will make sure you never feel lonely again."
Hoping Serana wouldn't find the motion too personal, I gently and briefly placed her hand to my lips, as if to seal the promise. Serana flushed, and cleared her throat before speaking, a sad smile making its way to her features, "Don't make promises you can't keep, Mikhael."
Serana slowly parted our hands before suddenly struggling to reach around my armor to wrap me in an embrace. With some difficulty, I wrapped an arm around her midsection. My armor's spikes, derived from dragon teeth and horns, made the hug rather awkward, and I began wishing I picked another set of armor. I didn't stop grinning even after she released me.
"But thank you. Thank you for caring." Serana replaced her sincere smile with a slightly awkward chuckle to get us back on track, "Let's get that portal open."
Serana went for the shards and the bone meal on the alchemy table while I took the bowl of purified void salts. We went for the vessel overlooking the rings where the portal was bound to open. I dumped the void salts inside and gave way for Serana to add the other ingredients. She placed a hand on the vessel and drummed on it for a moment before turning to me.
"The Soul Cairn is a realm in Oblivion ruled by beings called the Ideal Masters. This is where the souls go when you use a soul gem. Necromancers make deals with the Ideal Masters. They give souls, and in return, the Ideal Masters give them powers. But the necromancers often end up duped." Serana explained, her face thoughtful.
"My mother probably came to leave the Elder Scroll but wasn't able to come back. Or maybe she didn't plan on coming back." She continued.
"No telling what's going to happen when I add my blood." Serana stared hard at the vessel, biting her lip as she did. "Are you ready?" She turned from the vessel to look at me.
I thought of Serana's mother, and the role she was to play in all this. I suppose now's as good a time as any to ask about her.
"Can I ask you something first?"
"Of course. What is it." There was something about the way Serana replied immediately that made me feel at ease. The way she didn't need to think before twice before responding.
"What will we do if you find your mother?" The question caused her to give a sad smile, trouble on her face once again.
"I've been asking myself the same thing since we got back to the castle. She was so sure of what we did to my father, I couldn't help but go along with her. I never thought of the cost." Serana sighed, and she smiled sadly once again.
"She always seemed happy before we heard of the prophecy. Then it all changed. They both became different people. I suppose we won't know until we find her." She eyed the floor intently for a moment, then turned to look at me.
"I'm sorry. I'm just not used to anyone asking how I feel about her." She smiled, the sadness leaving a quickly as it came. "Thank you, Mikhael."
I beamed and gave her a small nod. "Open it up."
"Here goes." Serana raised her hand over the vessel and bit her arm, allowing the blood to drip into the vessel.
The reaction was instantaneous. The rings ripped themselves free from the ground, releasing a great fiery purple glow from underneath. The rings levitated, and rearranged themselves to form a staircase leading down into the bright purple haze. From here, I could feel the coldness emanating from the portal to Oblivion. It was like opening a door to the outside during winter.
"By the blood of my ancestors. She did it!" Came Serana's awed voice. It was quite the sight, I had to admit as I stared into the void below.
I locked my eyes on the entrance to the Soul Cairn, and felt it calling out to me. It was like something was ordering me to come forward and surrender myself to it. I took several cautious steps forward, and let the coldness slowly envelop me.
I gasped when I felt a sharp chill run down my back, as my heartbeat suddenly sped up to impossible speeds. My breathing turned ragged, as my airway constricted itself and I felt nausea take over. My skin was burning up, as if Alduin came back from the depths of Oblivion or wherever he was to roast me alive.
A pair of hands grabbed me by the waist and yanked me away from the portal. Serana gently brought me back to the top of the stairs, and released me when I had control over my feet again. I shivered slightly as the last of the burning sensation left my body, and leaned on the railing for support.
"That looked painful." Serana muttered, turning me to face her as she did. I tore my gaze from the portal to the Soul Cairn to look at her concerned face.
"It was. What just happened?" I evened out my breathing to speak properly.
"Now that I think about it... I should have expected that. Sorry." She placed an apologetic hand on my arm before continuing. "The Soul Cairn is... Hungry, for lack of a better word. It's trying to take your life essence as payment."
I looked at the eerie portal for a moment before replying, "So there's no way in?"
Serana was silent, and she kept her eyes trained on the portal as she went over our options. "There might be, but I don't think you're going to like it."
"Vampires aren't counted among the living, so I could probably go through without a problem..." Serana trailed off, leaving me to put two and two together.
"So you're saying I need to become a vampire?" The thought of becoming a creature of the night like Serana rarely crossed my mind. The last time it did was when I was offered the choice by Harkon.
"Not your first choice, I suppose. There might be another way to... Pay the toll. It wants a soul, so we give it a soul. Yours." Serana's suggestion had me quirking an eyebrow in question.
"Wouldn't that be fatal?" I asked.
"My mother taught me a trick or two. I could partially soul trap you, and offer that gem to the Ideal Masters. It might be enough to satisfy them. But it has its drawbacks... You'll be weak when you enter the Soul Cairn. If I had to guess, very weak. I'm not sure if we'd be able to fix it once we're inside."
I sighed in frustration, and placed a hand to pinch the bridge of my nose as I thought it through. "Those are my only options?"
"I'm sorry," Serana's voice was soothing. "I wish I knew a way that would be easier for you."
"Just know that whatever you choose, I won't think any less of you. Some things just need to be done." Serana crossed her arms, and grew silent, leaving me to my decision.
If I let Serana soul trap me... I couldn't enter the Soul Cairn weak. Being weak was out of the question. I need to be able to protect her from anything that comes our way. And since we were to enter a realm of Oblivion, there was no telling what would await us. Dremora? I shuddered at the thought of the foul beasts. One of the scars in my vast collection came from a Dremora Lord I encountered by a Daedric shrine. It was a simple bounty mission of clearing the place out. I didn't expect a damned Dremora Lord to be waiting for me. I had to be ready for the worst in there.
Vampirism, though... I recalled Harkon's speech. Immortality, and the powers of the night at your fingertips! You carry the strength of a god! Men will tremble as you approach! The power it would bring me was tempting, and admittedly, I was tempted to join Harkon. I rejected the vampire's gift because it was he who offered it. He, who was mad with power, and cared more for an ancient Scroll than his daughter. He, who plotted to block out the sun. I didn't want to join his mad cause, so I turned him down. But vampirism in itself, and given by Serana, on the other hand...
Naturally, such power would have drawbacks. The sun would cripple me, and I saw just how bad that could be first hand. I needed to feed to stop the sun from frying me completely, and to maintain my human appearance. My eyes might prove a giveaway if seen.
Immortality will help you keep your promise.
And just like that, the choice was made.
"I'll become a vampire." The confidence in my tone as I said it knocked Serana from her thoughts to look at me with some doubt.
"Are you sure? I'm willing to turn you, but you need to think this through. You'd become the very thing you've sworn to destroy, and I don't know how the Dawnguard will react."
By Sithis. The Dawnguard. I nearly forgot about them. I'll just deal with them when the time comes.
"I'm ready." I told her. A small smile rose to her lips and she stepped closer to me, and held me by my arms.
"Turning someone is a very... Personal thing for vampires. It's intimate. For us." I felt my cheeks heat up slightly at the rather sly smile Serana wore, before it was replaced with a kinder one. "I don't want you to feel like I'm forcing you into this."
"In that case," I removed my helmet to leave my neck open, and carried it in the crook of my arm. "I'm glad you're the one doing it."
My response had Serana smiling as she said, "Let's not waste too much time, then."
Serana took another step closer, until there was little to no space between us, before adding, "I promise to try and make this as painless as possible. Hold still"
The small comforting smile Serana wore caused me to relax completely, and for that moment, I was just glad that I had her to do this.
Serana leaned in close and buried her face into the side of my neck, nuzzling it. I supposed it was her advanced apology for the pain the act was going to cause. She took several slow breaths with her open mouth, the cool air fanning me. Serana gently ran her sharp fangs across my neck, causing me to shiver, and my back to arch. I groaned quietly at the effect the action had on me. She managed to find time to tease me.
Without further delay, Serana buried her fangs into my neck, and her arms wrapped around my neck. I gasped at the sudden cold sensation that filled my body. It was like falling into a frozen river. Everything felt so cold. My heart, which was beating quickly, suddenly slowed down at an alarming rate, until it stopped completely. Pain seared through my mouth as my fangs began taking shape. My muscles contracted and convulsed as I gained the inhuman strength of a vampire.
My vision darkened, and I could hear a howl in my head as my heart suddenly let out another beat. What was happening? Were the remnants of my beast blood fighting back? After all this time, were they really picking a fight with the invading vampiric blood? My body began to weaken, and I was glad to find Serana supporting me as I leaned into her. My vision continued to blur and darken, until I dropped my helmet and felt myself slip into unconsciousness.
A/N: Hey there, folks. I'm gonna be honest, I'm not that confident about this chapter. When I re-read it, it seems okay, but at the same time a bit rushed. But it still feels natural. But that's just me. I feel very conflicted about it. What do you guys think? I hope you enjoyed it.
Thanks for all the faves, follows, and reviews! Shout out to Lyon Vigarde for his incredibly inspirational review! (Don't take it as sarcasm, take it as a joke ;) But in all seriousness, thanks for the fave and for reading :) )
The next chapter will be set right after this because I feel that depicting the meeting with Valerica's mother and the following battle will not make an appropriate flashback. I hope you liked this chapter, and the whole story so far, and I hope you stay tuned. Cheers!