A\N – I'm not exactly sure that I've written it out the way I planned but…it seems thatI change the story plan quiet often. At least the details.
Hope you enjoy! Don't forget to drop me a line!
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"So, he basically said that he's been in love with you all these years." Jen's sick voice sounded manly and throaty.
"Thanks, Captain Obvious." I huffed and put the thermometer into her mouth successfully shutting my friend up.
The measurer started beeping not more than 10 seconds later and I took it out to check the progress:
"102' again? Really?!" I drew my hands in the air in frustration. "Jen, it's like you're not even trying to get better!"
"It's been half an hour since we've measured the temperature last time, you moron! You can't get over with the flu that fast!" She roared and tried to push me off the couch but I hit her knee and she succumbed to the fate of having me occupying at least one third of the sofa. "Stop bitching."
"I'm not bitching." But I was.
"I know you. You're frustrated about Jonathan because despite what you have with Kelly with this proposal and all your impending wonderful fairy-like life together you're used to having Jonathan by your side. Always. And you don't know what to do and how to act now that there's a possibility of him…not being there anymore." Jen sneezed loudly, I passed her a napkin.
"This is bad."
"The whole thing with Jonathan?"
"No, the fact that you know me that well!" I threw the rest of napkins at her and turned on the TV.
"Is that all that bothers you?" Jen asked, making her legs comfortable on my lap.
"Besides the Blackpool, engagement and that a lot of people seem to be in need of declaring love for me…at the same time?" I scowled.
"Basically."
I sighed, giving up. "It's Kelly."
"What's wrong with him?"
"It's…hmmm….it's his shoulder. The one he injured. I don't think he's telling me the truth…I…I think he's hurting…a lot. And he's not admitting it. Even to himself."
"You sure?" Jen sneezed again and looked up at me tiredly.
"No but…I can see that he's hurting." I pulled the blanket tightly over her legs.
"Until he realizes that he needs help, there's not much you can do, H." She reasoned. "Wait. Maybe he'll come around. Ultimately, it's only we that can help ourselves."
We were silent for a moment until my sick friend coughed and grinned wearily:
"That's all the wisdom I can give away today. Too tired! To sick!"
I let out a laugh.
"Now keep that smile on, girlie, let's watch 'Tangled'!" She reached for the remote but I was faster.
"Fine!" I looked at her matter-of-factly. "But we start with the frying-pan episode!"
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When I reached the station that evening I met Chris first who was on his way home. He congratulated me on the engagement and, giving me a bear hug, hopped into his car to go to his wife and kids. Chris directed me to Kelly's room, saying that he had to fill some papers as the day had been rough.
Inside I went on the round of 'Hello's and 'How you doin's until I got to the room where guys used to sleep on shifts, between the shifts and when they felt like zombies.
When I entered Kelly's cubicle in the far end of the room he wasn't there. His things were spread on the bed along with the black bag he used to carry them in. I looked around – still no sign of the fiancé.
I decided to make myself useful and busied myself with putting the clothes neatly into the bag. While doing so, my eyes caught a small black bag inside. Usually I wouldn't pay any attention to it if it wasn't for the item near it. It was small, smaller than the bag, and was wrapped into a dark cloth – one of Kelly's shirts.
I hesitantly reached for the wrapped item. My mind was focused on the task at hand and I really didn't want to imagine any case scenarios.
When I unwrapped the t-shirt I really wished I've had those scenarios prepared…
There were two used syringes in it.
My mind still didn't think of anything. No excuse. No story. No nothing.
I quickly put them back into the bag and reached for the small black bag with the zipper on it. Opening it up, I saw the almost-used bottle of strong pain-killers, two more new syringes and a small bottle with some kind of medication, a liquid without a name on it or prescription.
My hands started shaking a little. That couldn't be the pills that's been prescribed to Kelly after the surgery, those finished a week prior. I didn't know a lot about medicine but enough to realize that those were some heavy drugs.
I didn't move.
When Kelly entered the room, just out of the shower steamy and all, I still did not move.
"Harper, what are you doing?" He asked wary, stopping at the door.
"Pff…what am I doing?" I looked up at him, my voice void of any emotions. "I really think a better question is what are you doing?"
"Where did you get these?"
He reached for the medication in my hand but I dodged his hand and stood up still holding the items in my hands.
"Where did you get it Kelly?" I asked, looking straight at him. "Where did you get that kind of stuff?"
"Give it back, Harper." His voice sounded stable but I didn't buy it. "You don't want to drop any of this."
He sighed.
"If you're hurting so much why won't you go to the doctors? Why don't you ask for help?" I looked at him incredulous. The question I didn't dare to ask: why wouldn't you confide in me?
"Why?" At that he started getting mad. "Because this is my career we're talking about here! If this is something serious I might have to take a leave for God knows how much time. I can't do it right now."
"But if this is serious don't you understand that you might get worse? Like you can…lose your hand or something! End up with one hand not functioning at all! Have you thought of that?"
"Don't overdramatize this!" Kelly pushed his hand through his hair, exhaling. "This stuff only helps me deal with the pain when absolutely needed."
"Well you seem to need it quite a lot." I muttered throwing the painkillers on the bed.
"Oh…what do you know about it." The second the words left his mouth Kelly squeezed his eyes shut and silently mouthed 'shit'. "I'm sorry…I had no right to say it…"
"Yeah, you had no right." I nodded but I was avoiding his gaze at all costs.
"Just drop it, Harper." He said finally, turning to the bed to collect his things. "This conversation isn't going anywhere. You need to come down then we'll talk."
I couldn't believe my ears and what's more – I didn't know what to say to dissolve the grave thing that settled around us in the air. It was like a brick wall was building itself between us and we kept on handing the bricks for it to appear.
"I'm going back to the studio, I need to blow off some steam." I headed for the exit.
"Say hi to Jonathan." Kelly's words reached me at the door.
"Shut up, Kelly. Just shut up."
I continued my walk to the sound of Kelly sending a chair flying in his cubicle.