A\N – Well, my darlings! This is the most emotional chapter, trust me. This is both culmination and one of the ending chapters of the story!

At first I thought about something different and I prepared an alternate ending before in which everything was a bit (much!) more dramatic but I just couldn't post it…I just like I owed Harper and Kelly this courtesy. They've took a place in my heart and they are there to stay, I'm sure of it.

I think I'll write one more chapter as an epilogue, I'm sure you'd want to know what happened to our couple. Plus I promised you to get the story to the TV show's timeline.

I love you all, thank you to everyone who read the story and like me felt for Harper and Kelly. But it's life. And sometimes even the strongest love isn't enough. Love you all so much!

And now…..

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It was after twelve. It was dark both outside and inside as I zig-zaged around the furniture items in the apartment without actually banging into anything like a mole.

My head was full of thoughts. The anger I felt prior evaporated and its place was filled with thoughts. They were everywhere in my mind: flying around, nudging to do one thing or another.

I reached the kitchen and removed the jacket leaving it on the kitchen island. My hands were acting on their own accord as they moved to pick a mug from one of the top cabinets to pour some juice in it. I stood in front the window, my drink in hand, and only then I realized that I was drinking from the My boyfriend is a Firefighter mug. Against all the uneasiness I was feeling it made me smile. One of my hands flew to my mouth so I could bite on the proximal phalanx of my index finger. It always helped me stop the tears. But the sadness was so strong and the tears stung so much.

The keys started scratching the door and I quickly wiped at my eyes and put the cup on the windowsill.

"Hey." Kelly threw the keys on the coffee table, discarding his leather jacket.

I turned around as he turned the lamp on the way.

"I was at the bar with Casey. You'd never believe how many troubles there are in paradise apparently."

I smiled. I was looking at him and suddenly my every other thought seemed so unimportant. I felt this tug to stay with him forever without a care. But the damage has been done. To our relationships. The bubble we used to exist in burst. And the faster we'd accept that everything has changed the faster we'd have a chance for something new or at least to rebuilt what we have been building this last year.

Kelly sat down on the couch rubbing his eyes with a palm of his hand. He focused on me after noticing that I was still standing near the island not adding my two cents to the story.

"You…"

"We need to talk." I said finally, very calm and quietly.

"No!" Kelly shot up and was facing me, his hands grabbing at mine. "Don't do this. This is ridiculous."

As his hands touched mine I felt the warmth. The warmth I already started missing. But I've made a decision and I had to stick to it.

"Kelly…Kelly! Listen to me. This is…"

"Is it about our fight?" He interrupted me.

"No…Yes! Both." I sighed. "I need you to understand that what I'm about to say is…so hard for me. I never thought that …"

"Harper, stop! Whatever you're trying to say is wrong. We can fix it all. I love you." He said staring straight into my eyes. I knew it was the truth. I never doubted that.

"I know. And I love you too. No one ever doubted that. It's just that we're at a place in our life when love isn't enough. And before you say something else, I want you to think. There's a reason why you didn't tell me anything about the pain in your shoulder. A reason why we withheld certain things from each other…"

Kelly furrowed eyebrows.

"Shame, insecurities, fear…I don't know. But the thing that remains – we couldn't trust each other enough to open up about them. This isn't anybody's fault. It isn't even our fault…" I was swallowing tears. "We were just brought up this way. We don't do the trust thing and probably that's why we worked so good at the start. Because we're alike in that department. But to create a family it's not enough. We have to change."

One of my hands slid out of his handlock and drifted unconsciously to his shirt, tugging on it a little. My nervous habit.

"I don't want anything to change. I don't want you to change." Kelly pushed my hand that was on his shirt up to where his heart was. "I don't know how this thing will work without you."

His words were low and clear and with each of them I felt like my own heart was being stabbed. Rapidly, repeatedly. I wish he would just stay silent.

"I need to change too." I smiled sadly but it reminded more of a scarred grimace. "More than anyone. I'm sick, Kelly."

And there it was. I finally said it. The weight didn't fall off my shoulders as I expected. But the air suddenly became clearer. Kelly looked at me dumbfounded, his eyes wider than usual, trying to establish whether I was telling the truth or executing an excuse.

"What?"

"I'm sick. I have an eating disorder that started long before we met. I thought…I really thought that I could help myself. That I would stop…that I could heal. But I realize now that I need help. And that would be wrong of me to commit myself to something so big when I can't even handle my own body." I clutching to his hand as my voice cracked more with every word.

As Kelly's mouth opened and closed again and again but in his eyes I saw the understanding. He finally put together all those meals without me eating anything but vegetables, those dinners when I only had coffee, those moments of my lies that I didn't want anything to eat because of "full lunches".

But I said it. I admitted it to him but most importantly to myself.

Kelly didn't say anything but he crushed me into him in a tight embrace. My hands flew to hold his back while I buried my head into his chest. Tears were falling freely from my eyes and I felt him start to rock our bodies to some unknown rhythm.

About two hours later we were lying wrapped in each other on the couch darkness surrounding us like a blanket. My eyes were red but it felt like I could cry more. Like the generator of my tears finally opened and I could use all the unused tears I didn't cry all those years.

"That was almost a fairy-tale really." I whispered into Kelly's chest. "A knight saves a girl from a burning tower. They fall in love….and almost live happily ever after."

"I think you underestimate their story." Kelly said finally, his voice gruff from staying silent for so long. "The knight and the girl could still have their happily ever after."

"Maybe someday. But not now."

I knew Kelly wanted to counter me, say something…anything. But in the end he fell silent again. Deep down he knew I was right.

"I love you. I know it may sound cliché…" Another wave of tears covered me and it was harder and harder to talk. "But I've never felt like this before. When I recognized this feeling I knew it had to be what people call love."

"It is. It's once in a lifetime thing."

He held me tighter and I curled closer to his side.

We didn't sleep that night. More likely drifted off couple times before the dawn.

"What are you gonna do?" Kelly asked when the first rays of light hit our faces.

"There's a good clinic in Boston for people like me. I've called them yesterday and made all the arrangements. Dawson is taking me there today."

His voice was tired, I was exhausted but somehow holding each other gave us the serendipity we were hoping so much for.

"I can drive you."

"No…no."

He didn't protest anymore.

"Promise me that you'll get help. Please." I looked up at his face, my body still maintaining its position next to him.

Kelly sight deeply and closed his eyes.

"I'll get help."

"Make sure to do it before it's too late." I clarified.

He finally looked at me a chuckled just a little.

"Okay, Pixie."

And with that my heart broke all over again. I knew that I was doing a right thing. We were doing a right thing. But it hurt anyway. The tears sprang again, disregarding them I lifted myself up on one elbow and kissed Kelly deeply on the lips. He answered me momently. The kiss felt final: all the love, all the pain, unfinished memories were poured into it. I started it and I was the first to break apart, touching my forehead to his.

This was how I was intending to remember our love. Bright golden light from the sun was shining blazingly through the window of the kitchen announcing a brand new day, a start which will mend all the wounds and will show the right way, and somewhere in this light there would be a path that ultimately might bring me back into the hands of the man I loved to much, the man that saved my life. But before any of this could happen we both needed to heal. My healing started then with that light.