It was another one of those awful silent meals. Chewing, clanking, and I was surprised that I hadn't fought with Melissa. Yet.

"Did you bring your English grade up yet Spencer?" My father began.

"Yes, I have a 97 now." I looked up for the reaction.

"That's okay, but a 98 would look better on a Yale application you know. I'd like it if you would bring up your Math as well." My mother nodded, agreeing. Of course.

I had been picking at my pasta for awhile. It wasn't worth eating. It was nothing but carbs and extra calories I didn't need. I had to stick to my diet plan, and I wasn't about to mess it up by eating an entire bowl of spaghetti.

"Honey, aren't you going to eat more than that? You didn't eat hardly anything at all last night either." Didn't my mother have more important things to worry about?

"I will." And I reassured her by taking a bite, and making sure she saw. She rolled her eyes like this was the very least of her concerns, which I'm sure it was. As soon as I had swallowed I looked down at my napkin in guilt.

After dinner I ran up to my room and changed into some more comfortable study clothes. As I was slipping on my sweats I looked in the mirror. My stomach was huge. This whole week my diet had barely done a thing. I walked into my bathroom in nothing but a bra and sweats. I stepped on the scale. I had only lost 8 pounds. That wasn't enough, I still looked as fat as I had been before.

I pulled on a shirt and grabbed my History workbook. After I finished tomorrows homework I was going to do fifty crunches. At least.

The numbers and calories squirreled in my head. All I could see were the numbers glaring at me, making me bigger. Too many of this, too many of that. Which is why, right after that I created a new, and better way of eating.

I eat only what I deemed to be appropriate, and the rest gets thrown away or hidden. You start by cutting things up. A lot, because it makes it look like you've eaten it. Then ask questions. Beginning to take a bite with the food on your fork, and then beginning to talk... just in time to put the food back on your plate. If people are distracted, then you see how much you can put into your sleeve or down your bra. If they notice you haven't eaten a lot or think you aren't going to, then you up the anti and add something else to your plate, though this can be risky. You can also change the subject, or put the food in your mouth, begin chewing, and then put it in a napkin, or go to the bathroom and spit it out. It was such a great game. Something I was actually better at than Melissa. If I ever did it more than I was allowed, it meant ten minutes added to my run. I just know that after all of this, It'll be worth it. My family might start seeing things that I did right, appreciating me. I'll finally be good enough for Toby, and my friends.

I see now why they couldn't before.

I got up early Sunday morning and put on some shorts, a T-shirt and a sports bra. It was awesome outside, and likely to rain this afternoon, so that meant that I got an early morning jog. I brushed my hair and threw it into a ponytail as I walked out of my house. I ran to the mailboxes, and then all the way down our street and the one next to ours, and then circled back around. But as I was finishing up I heard Aria come out of her house and yell my name.

"Spencer! Hey, what are you doing?" I jogged over to her and stopped for just a minute, out of breath and tired.

"I'm running. What does it look like I'm doing?" I smiled at her, meaning it playfully, but she kept a stern face.

"Why? Why on EARTH are you running? Aren't you tired enough with all your AP classes?"

"Aria relax!" I didn't need her concerned with anything like this. I knew she's disapprove of my dieting plans. She came up to me and grabbed my hand.

"I'm just saying Spence. You seem really tired, and you can do whatever you want... I just don't think you should be running. You get plenty of exercise. And your already thin." I rolled my eyes.

"Okay, whatever Aria, but I know what I'm doing. I'll text you when I finish my project!" I waved at her as I ran up the steps of my house. She still looked kind of disappointed in some way. I guess she wouldn't be the first person to be disappointed by me.

I reached into the fridge for a small snack before lunch, since I had skipped breakfast. I was about to grab some crackers, but I stopped myself. I ended up choosing celery instead, because it doesn't have any calories.

When I got upstairs my phone rang and Toby's caller ID popped up on the screen. I smiled and answered it.

"Hey Toby." My heart skittered a little, excited.

"Hey Spence, I really wanted to hang out this weekend. Are you free?" Inside I screamed YES!

"Uhhm" The gears in my head started turning, between exercising, calling Aria, and this huge project due on Monday, it didn't seem likely.

"I don't think so. But I miss you, and we should do something soon!"

"Do you wanna go to breakfast at that cafe we always go to in the morning before school?"

"Sure, lets do it! It' a date!" I could just see his gleeful eyes in my head on the other end of the phone.

"Great, I'll see you there. I love you." I smiled.

"Love you too." And we hung up. I loved it when he said those words. They were always soothing. I just wish he had someone better to love. Someone prettier and just better.

I walked into my bathroom once again and stood on the automatic scale. I had lost a total of 9 pounds. And still looked like the fat girl I was when I started.

"Spencer, come down here and eat lunch!" I paused considering it.

"What are we having?" Praying that it was something small.

"Grilled cheese and carrots, come down!"

I pranced down the stairs and asked mom if I could eat in my room because of this project, which she only allowed because she knew I would be working. I ran back up the stairs and grabbed a trash bag out from under my bathroom counter. I dumped all the contents of the plate into it and tied it up. Where could I hide it? I stuffed it into the side of my backpack, figuring that at school tomorrow I could just toss it into one of the many trashcans in the cafeteria when no one was looking. Maybe I am getting smarter.

Now what was left of that project?

Author's Note: Hey, I know this was a short chapter, i just felt like this part was kind of important. The next chapter is going to filled with stuff and it's very long so stay tuned in. I also just wanted to say that if it seems like I'm rushing uploading these, I am not. Before I got my account, these were already written and typed up, just for fun. All I'm doing before publishing them here is taking a moment to revise and edit anything I think should be better or don't like. I just wanted to explain that I had already done them a little earlier in the summer. Reviews are awesome! Thanks so much! Just because I've already drafted it doesn't mean i won't change it! Tips and hints are appreciated! :)