Chapter 3: It Sinks In

A/N: The chapters will be short until I figure out what the hell I want to do with this story. Plus, I'm hoping that if I keep them short, I'll be able to squeak out a chapter in between schoolwork and other real life crap.

Challenge: partially to answer a forum request/challenge by DeepBlueJoy for a story with a 'person of color' as a main character – who doesn't die immediately.

Warning: Bit of a tissue warning.

Thanks to my betas: flying solo so far. Sorry zigpal, this one had to go unbeta'd. If I have more than 5 minutes before writing and posting, I'll send it to you next time.

Disclaimer: BtVS and AtS characters belong to Joss Whedon / Mutant Enemy. I claim no rights to any copyrighted material. Please do not copy or take this story without my permission.

Summers living room

Buffy felt a little bad for dropping a bombshell on the guy like that, but when Wes confirmed that his mom was the Slayer Spike killed, she sorta thought he'd like to know. Granted, he might not have known how she died, so maybe blurting it out wasn't such a smart idea after all.

Desperate to give him some space to deal with it, she asked, "Umm, I was gonna get myself some water; did you want anything to drink?"

Still dazed, he replied, "Water sounds good." Truthfully, he was thinking something a little stronger, but given how young Slayers tended to be, she might not have liquor in the house. At least not legally. He'd have to find out how old she was some other time.

While she was in the kitchen, the entire situation finally started to sink in. Spike was dead…because of her. Buffy groaned in frustration. Intellectually, she knew she didn't deserve to be raped, but a small part of her kind of thought she would have been able to defuse the situation somehow.

Not that she was blaming Robin for his actions or anything. If she came into the house and saw what he must have seen, it was entirely possible she would have done the exact same thing – even knowing it was Spike…or even if it had been Angel. Wow, how weird was it that she would hesitate more with Spike than with Angel? It wasn't as if she loved Spike more than Angel; hell, she didn't love Spike at all.

But with their twisted…relationship – for lack of a better word – since she was brought back, she knew that he liked it rough. Or at least he did with her; they didn't really ever try 'making love'. Angel, on the other hand, was all about making love, and if she saw him being rough with a female, she knew her mind would automatically think of Angelus.

It wouldn't make a difference to Dawn, though. Especially since Buffy didn't want to admit to either the sexual stuff she did with Spike over the past several months or the attempted rape tonight. Xander would cheer, if only because Spike slept with Anya. Willow and Tara were sort of a big question mark. If she came clean about what almost happened in the bathroom, Buffy was sure they would be okay with Robin staking him. And she might be able to tell them…or at least Tara, seeing as how she already knew about the other stuff.

So lost in her thoughts, she didn't hear Robin walk into the kitchen until he called her name.

"Buffy?"

She whipped around with the glasses of water, trying to keep her hands from shaking – and failing miserably. Robin rushed over and took the glasses just as they were about to slip and fall.

It wasn't until he carefully set them down and grabbed a towel to wipe her face that she realized she was crying silently.

His gentleness caused the dam to break. Buffy collapsed to the floor, sobbing hysterically. Part of it was Spike, part was what led her to him in the first place, and part was the fear of losing Dawn because he was gone. There were a lot of parts and she couldn't hold them together anymore.

Robin sat down next to her, but kept enough distance between them so that she wouldn't feel cornered by another male so soon after almost being raped. He'd have to wait to get answers about how his mother's killer ended up working with another Slayer.

A/N: Got it out a few minutes too late, but I'll try harder tomorrow/tonight.