Life, Lies and Video Surveillance
By Cortexikid
Chapter 9: Vesthibitionism (Part III)
A/N: So, here's the final part of the 'Kensi-dosed-with-drugs' storyline – a direct continuation of the chapters "Dwang" and "Witzelsucht." Hope you all enjoy =]
Still dedicated to lisbonloafers – thanks again for the encouragement! You rock! :D
Disclaimer: Despite many wishes upon a star, NCIS: LA is not mine.
WARNING: Contains accidental drug-exposure and subsequent side-effects.
VESTHIBITIONISM; Vest·hi·bit·ion·ism, noun. The display of undergarments by a woman
"Okay now, watch the step, okay, no Kensi—this way, yeah, that's it..." Deeks said softly as he opened the front door with his right hand and with his left he gripped his partner's waist firmly, trying in vain to steer her into the apartment.
"She had popsicles for hair Deeks!"
"I know Kens...I know. It's okay, she won't be in here, come on, let's go in and get you to bed," Deeks murmured gently, praying that none of his neighbours overheard. Running into the nosy Mrs Davis from downstairs was bad enough – she had that look in her eye that just screamed that she thought he was taking advantage of some poor inebriated girl. The fact that said inebriated girl then tried to lick her 'popsicle-like' hair didn't help matters either.
"Don't wanna go to bed!" Kensi pouted and really, how was this his life? Why did she have to look so goddamn adorable, chin on his shoulder, her stunning two-toned eyes staring intently up at him, giving him her utmost attention – or as much as she could give in her state.
"Well you have to Kens, that's the only way you can get better," he murmured into her ear as she hummed softly and nuzzled his neck, her hot breath bouncing off his skin. The poor detective barely suppressed a shudder. Dear god, she was nuzzling his neck! Yep, totally stoned...
"Alright, come on, in we go," Deeks continued, practically dragging her further into his home, kicking his door closed behind him.
"It's too hot!" Kensi groaned suddenly, wrenching away from him before pulling her blouse up and over her face, revealing her toned stomach and black-laced bra.
"Whoa, so this is happening..." Deeks mumbled, his breathing laboured, shaking his head in shock, recovering just in time to stop his partner from stumbling into the wall as she tried to manoeuvre the blouse over her head.
"I'm...stuck!" came the muffled voice of a disorientated Kensi, swaying on her feet.
"Whoa, okay Kens, let's get this down," Deeks half-whispered, gently clutching the hem of her blouse in his fingers and began peeling it back down over her body. A stoned Kensi he could handle (barely) but a stoned, semi-naked Kensi? Not a chance in hell.
"But I'm itchy..."
Before Deeks could even open his mouth Kensi began clumsily scratching every conceivable inch of her skin she could reach, twisting and contorting her body, turning on the spot, her nails scraping and irritating her flesh – angry, red welts forming quickly.
"Hey, hey, Kensi, stop! You're gonna hurt yourself! Okay, okay, here—" Deeks darted over to where a basket containing a load of his freshly-washed clothes lay, "take these and go change, it will probably stop the itch. Do you remember where the bathroom is?"
The brunette pursed her lips and took the clothes that Deeks randomly grabbed from the pile, nodding vigorously before stumbling forward and down the hallway. Deeks stared at her retreating back like an anxious parent would their child as took their first steps. He breathed a sigh of relief when she crossed the short distance and stood triumphant in the bathroom, unscathed.
"Okay, good, just don't lock the—" Deeks was cut off as his partner slammed the door, the sound of it being locked reverberating though the apartment.
"Dammit Kensi! I said DON'T lock it!"
With a speed Superman would envy, Deeks bolted over his couch and raced towards the closed door, banging on it incessantly.
"Kensi? Kensi! Be careful in there okay? If you don't come out in five minutes I'll have no choice but break down the door!" he yelled, wincing at his words – he really didn't think semi-threatening her was the best idea.
"Would you relax? I'm fine you silly goose," came her chuckled reply.
Marty Deeks could safely say he'd never been called that before. He'd have to add it to his personal lexicon. The fact she said 'fine' just felt like a bad omen and was stubbornly ignored. Biting his thumb-nail nervously, shifting from foot to foot, five minutes felt like a damn eternity.
"Kensi are you—" suddenly, the bathroom door flung open, exposing his now semi-naked partner, staring at him as if it was completely normal for her to be standing opposite him in nothing but his Beatles' t-shirt (the irony was not lost on him). Deeks lost his voice for a good two minutes as the friends regarded one another in absolute silence.
"Where..." nope, he still wasn't quite ready to talk yet.
Clearing his throat and dragging a hand down his face wearily he continued, "where are the pants I gave you?"
"The hamper ate them."
"What?"
"The laundry hamper ate them...what are you, deaf as well as orange?" Kensi cackled her creepiest 'ha!' yet, followed closely by the girliest giggle Deeks ever heard in his life escaping her lips.
"And where's your blouse and skirt?"
"Well someone had to rescue your pants."
Her 'duh' was implied. Here, Deeks finally lost his composure and allowed a snort of pained amusement to escape, shaking his head at the current turn of events.
What the hell was this? Some cosmic rouse by an evil universe to test his dedication to this partner? To test his will-power? To try and break his resolve in the form of tempting him into ravishing his very beauteous, very alluring friend?
Whatever the hell it was, it wasn't fair to either of them. For her because she was not in a clear state of mind and would more than likely never speak to him or be able to stand in the same room as him again if she ever managed to remember any of this in the morning. And for him because Kensi Blye in his shirt (or potato-sack really) was truly the most stunning thing he had ever seen in his entire life and he would surely continue to dream about for years to come. And shit like that distracts you on the job. And in your personal life. And their partnership didn't need that kinda strain, damn it. Their 'thing' was hard enough to ignore at the best of times, at least from his side, this was just adding insult to injury.
"Kens...how's about you put them back on though huh? Your legs are gonna get cold," he suggested softly, shaking himself out of his reverie, not wanting to spook her.
"I can't," she said as if the reason was incredibly obvious, "they haven't been digested yet."
If it were any other circumstance, Deeks would bet his life that she was screwing with him (unfortunate choice of phrase he realized too late) but even Kensi wouldn't stoop this low, wouldn't embarrass herself this badly.
"Uh, okay then, how about I find you a pair of different sweat-pants and you can put them on instead?" There. Problem solved. Now he wouldn't have to look at her gloriously long and slender—mind out of the gutter Deeks!
Kensi merely laughed heartily, a deep chuckle from the pit of her stomach as she began to tip-toe towards him. An irrational fear crept up the cop's spine as she sauntered towards him, looking the epitome of a lioness hunting its prey. And he was definitely prey.
"What—what ya doin' Kens?" God, he hated how nervous and on-edge he sounded. Suddenly, he was 16 again and in the back of his mom's Station Wagon with Stacy Winters, trying and failing to calm the hell down. Only now, he was 33 and Stacy Winters was 320% hotter and 325% more dangerous.
Despite the multiple alarm bells going off in his head, Deeks could only watch, words caught in his throat as Kensi reached up with her right hand and ran her fingers through his rumpled, flaxen hair. It felt amazing, it really did, so much so that he very nearly closed his eyes. But, his concern for her wellbeing far surpassed any desire he could have felt for her physically now. He made himself personally responsible for her in this state (he was the sober one here after all) but it went even deeper than that.
Yes, clearly his partner was beautiful inside and out, having a fun personality, a heart of gold and a kick-ass attitude to go with her striking looks and mad skills– all of this was true and very easy to respect and admire. It was also a fact that he cared for her deeply, more so than he has been willing to admit, even to himself.
However, even with these strong emotions all rushing to the surface as he saw his partner in an entirely different light and being more physically open with him than ever (excluding the fake-marriage op), Marty Deeks was too good of a man to ever take advantage of any woman in such a state, never mind a woman who he held in the highest of regards – higher than any other female he's ever known, right up there with his mother.
She was his partner and friend, first and foremost, which mattered more to him than some unresolved feelings he's had since the first day he laid eyes on her. It mattered more than their 'thing', more than everything else really. He thought he might lose her today and while that further intensified what he felt, made him realize just the serious effect she has on him and the giant part of his life that she occupies and will continue to occupy for many years to come he wasn't going to do or say anything to jeopardize their partnership, friendship. He was not going to let her take any step he knew well she wouldn't dream about taking when in of sound mind. He cared about her too much to let that happen, to let the drug overriding her senses make decisions for her.
So, summoning strength with a deep breath, he took her hand in his, pulling it gently away from him and spoke in the softest of tones, "come on Kens, you've had a long day, you should sleep..."
Her brow furrowed a little as she watched him remove her hand, biting her lip as if upset.
"They need music Deeks!" she suddenly exclaimed, looking at something to his left.
It could cause subtle changes in perception – auditory and visual, blurred, warped or intensified sight, a complete lack of anxiety along with the possibility of an intense religious experience and various other hallucinogenic occurrences.
The doctor's voice rang in his ears.
Before he could ask who it was she was talking about (not that he really wanted to know – that can of worms could stay closed as far as he was concerned) Kensi leapt over to his stereo and began fumbling through his iPod that was docked in the station.
The opening bars of I Gotta Feelin' by The Black Eyed Peas wafted through the apartment loudly.
"Really Kens? I Gotta Feelin'? Cliché much?"
"C'mon Deeks, dance with me!"
"I thought you said you didn't wanna do any type of dance with me?" Deeks reminded her, forgetting that she was far too gone to recall a conversation they had months ago.
"I can feel the music...it's...wonderful!"
"Yeah okay Yoko, whatever you say!" Seriously, Bad-Ass-Bye must have watched way too many hippy movies as a kid.
Kensi ignored him, spinning to and fro, waving her hands in front of her face, her eyes transfixed on the movement.
"You realize I have neighbours right? They're gonna call the cops!" Deeks scolded, cringing as her thigh collided roughly with the edge of his table.
"We are the cops!" Kensi grinned manically, before continuing to whirl around and around, her arms outstretched as if she didn't have a care in the world.
"Nuh-uh. I princess, am a cop. You? Not so much..."
They were practically shouting at each other as Deeks' feet remained perfectly stationary as Kensi began swaying her hips back and forth, her arms flailing wildly. Without warning, she suddenly halted in her dancing and stormed out into the kitchen. The detective followed her curiously. His eyes widened as he saw what she was making a bee-line for.
"Kensi! Back away from the stove!" Deeks yelled, leaping in front of her, blocking her view of the alluring kitchen appliance.
"I can make Snicker Doodles!" she grinned dopily, her face full of child-like wonder.
"You can't make Snicker Doodles."
"Yes I can! I made Snicker Doodles for the Russian guy that time when I was Justin and you were Melissa."
Deeks sighed and shook his head. It was going to be a long night.
"Okay one, Wal-Mart made those Snicker Doodles not you; you just warmed them in the oven, Martha Stewart. And two, I was Justin, you were Melissa."
"That's what I said!"
"I—saved by the bell," he muttered as the shrill ring of his cell-phone sounded from his pocket.
"Oh I love that show!" Kensi grinned as her partner retrived his phone.
"Kensi, can you turn off the music please?" Deeks asked, motioning for her to leave the kitchen and return to the living room – lifting his phone to his ear.
"Deeks."
"Is that Callen? Tell him I say hey! HEY CALLEN!" Kensi waved frantically as she practically skipped over to the stereo, fumbling to try and turn the music off.
"Bye, bye music..." she hummed, still swaying back and forth as if it were still playing.
"Is that Kensi?" Callen asked Deeks, confusion lacing his tone.
"The one and only," he grumbled in reply, staring intently at his partner as she flopped down on his couch, one hand resting behind her head as she stared at the ceiling, the other hand stretched upwards, drawing patterns that only she could see in the air.
"How's the trip?"
Deeks rolled his eyes.
"It's...something. She's like a really drunk eleven-year-old with imaginary friends."
"I'm 29!" she informed him from her perch, now murmuring to something that was apparently a 'cutie-pie' and sitting on his coffee table. It made the cop glad that the excitable Monty was sleeping peacefully in his room and had yet to make an appearance. He wasn't sure her drug-addled-state could handle something that cute and you know, real.
"Yes Kens, I know you are. Get anything outta Teague and his men?" he quietly asked Callen, angling his body away from his partner but making sure she was still firmly in his peripheral vision.
"They're singing like birds. The big guy that attacked Kensi copped to the murder of Petty Officer Green and the assault of a Federal Agent. Teague and the guy Kensi pistol-whipped –his cousin, along with Daniels have been charged with the theft and attempted distribution of an illegal substance and lead us to the rest of the shipment. Case closed."
Deeks smirked at that. Good enough for the bastards. Although, if it were up to him, the big guy would get a lot worse than a jail-cell to call home. Although he did take pleasure in knowing that the goon would wake up in the morning with one hell of a shiner, two broken teeth and a fractured rib – courtesy of one LAPD liaison.
"Thanks for the update Callen; I'll call you and Sam tomorrow to fill ya in on Little Miss Druggy's status."
"Keep an eye on her Deeks."
"You kidding me? I won't take my eyes off her, the woman's a grade-A ninja and Harry Houdini rolled into one." Callen gave a snort of agreement before hanging up.
Deeks lowered his phone slowly, now realizing the sudden absence of crazy ramblings from a certain drugged-up agent. Turning his head cautiously, his eyes fell onto the couch, a warm sensation flowing through his veins, straight into his chest cavity. There, laying spread out on her back was his partner, arms and legs akimbo, mouth-open, little snore-snorts sounding from her nose. She was the quintessence of adorable.
Shaking his head, he groaned at the unfairness of the world, realizing that there was no way he could leave her there all night. If anyone knew how crappy it was to wake up on that couch, it was him. But he'd suffer it tonight – the least he could do was offer up his bed to his partner.
Kicking off his shoes, he trudged over and looked down at his partner for a moment. He was never the type to lie awake and watch anyone sleep (that was kinda creepy really) but Kensi Marie Blye was one woman he could honestly say he could look at for hours. Even with her weird-ass sleeping habits that were luckily on the right side of cute.
"Kens..." he whispered, gently shaking her arm, "Kens, wakey wakey eggs and bakey, you can't sleep here..."
A moan and a rough swat on his hand was her response.
"Come on Kensi...sit up."
Another moan.
"Kensi if you don't get up, I'm gonna have to carry you, bridal-style...across a threshold..." he trailed off, watching intently as her face morphed into a frown of discomfort, clearly something he said breaking through her haze.
No Kensi, under the influence or not, would ever allow him to do anything of the sort.
"Ugh," she grumbled, dragging her heavy limbs upright to sit. With her eyes still closed, she held out her limp arms, wrists bent like a zombie. Catching on to her meaning, Deeks clasped her by the elbows and pulled her up off the couch, tucking one arm around her waist and leading her to his room.
Funny. The dream-sequences never went quite like this.
"Monty!" the brunette squealed loudly in his ear as her heavy-lidded eyes landed on the once-slumbering mutt at the foot of Deeks' bed.
"Hello you cutie-pie!" she stumbled over to the dog, scratching him under the chin as she cooed and kissed him.
"That's one lucky dog..."
"What?" she turned to Deeks, a cheesy grin on her tired face.
"Nothing, talking to myself."
"First sign of madness," she sing-songed, patting Monty one last time before straightening up and looking at him expectedly.
"What?" Deeks asked, feeling a little exposed, her x-ray-like vision raking over him.
"Are you not going to sleep too?"
"Uh yeah...I'll—get outta your way—"
"No Deeks, I'm not kicking you out...stay," she said, her voice sounding the most firm since her drug-exposure.
Well that was unexpected.
"Are you...sure?" he asked timidly, afraid to over-step a line.
"Wouldn't be the first time," she gave a non-committal shrug before plonking down, claiming the right side with a fold of her arms and a daring arched eyebrow.
Deeks' own eyebrows rose as he watched her pull the blanket up over herself, her tantalising, long legs finally covered. Finally settled, Kensi sat there in his bed, looking every bit like she belonged, his devoted mutt at her side, her head tilted to the side as she regarded him quietly. The sound of light traffic outside was all that could be heard in the bedroom as the partners found themselves locked in a staring match – neither seemingly willing to look away from the other. It was when Kensi's eyes began to lose focus that Deeks remembered just how worn-out she must be – from her initial rampant behaviour to the drug wreaking havoc on her system. She needed to rest.
"Alright," he nodded, "I—I'm going to get changed, be right back," he started, his eyes darting away from her as he walked out towards the bathroom, forcing himself not to look back over his shoulder at her but still managing to find her form in his mirror.
"Okay Mr. Oompa Loompa," she beamed at his back, chuckling as Monty licked her hand.
And oh look, there was another name he could safely say he had never been called in his life – mentally he updated his ever-growing lexicon.
Deeks was gone no more than five minutes, before he re-entered his room, clad in pajama pants and black t-shirt. He couldn't stop the wide grin that spread across his face as his eyes drank in the view in front of him. His partner was fast asleep, curled up on her side, arm slung over Monty – who had stretched out to his full length in the middle of the bed – an effective barrier for the two partners.
Shaking his head, Deeks shuffled over to the left-side of the bed, moving Monty's tall out of the way and lay down, eyes staring straight up at the ceiling, his mind reeling about the events of the day. What he really had to consider though was – what about tomorrow?
One thing was for sure. There is no way in hell he's gonna tell Kensi that she willing took off her clothes and danced around his living room in nothing but his shirt. He'd have to come up with some plausible reason for her to be clad in nothing but his ratty old tee though.
Humm...this called for some creativity on his part. Strip-poker might do it, she could have suggested that in her drugged-up-state and just got a little ahead of herself right? Well, regardless, that was the story he was going with. A lie he wasn't entirely comfortable with telling but...the alternative wasn't looking so great either.
He also knew he would have to get up and retreat to the couch before morning, or surely risk getting a black eye when she awoke sober and hung-over with the mother of all headaches to find herself in a strange bed, not alone. The shirt he may be able to explain away. But why they were sleeping in the same bed while not on an op? Nope. He got nothin'.
For now though he was too tired think about it any longer. Gently, Deeks let his eyes close, smiling as he heard her familiar little snort-snore thing in his ear, her breath ruffling Monty's fur.
Trying and failing to wipe the stupid grin off his face, Deeks closed his eyes, quickly falling into the most restful sleep he'd had in a long time...thoughts of nice houses and red dresses and towels and Snicker Doodles and cover kisses dancing in his head.
A/N: The somewhat-sequel to this can be read under the "Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds" section in my Densi one-shot "Partners In Crime Fighting" – it features the dreaded 'Morning After The Night Before' where poor Kensi suffers Deeks' teasing =] Phew! That was long! I'm exhausted now! =[
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ATTENTION READERS!: I'M GOING ON A SHORT VACATION/WRITERS' CONVENTION UNTIL SUNDAY 3RD OF JUNE, SO I DON'T THINK I'LL BE ABLE TO UPDATE DAILY UNTIL AFTER I GET BACK HOME– I MAY BE ABLE TO POST ONE OR TWO CHAPTERS OVER THE COURSE OF THE 5 DAYS BUT NOT DAILY. I'M SORRY! I WILL MAKE UP FOR IT NEXT WEEK THOUGH, I PROMISE =]
Please Review =]
~Cortexikid
NEXT CHAPTER TEASER:
"You don't think I look sorta like a certain international spy in this tux?"
"Yeah, sure you do."
"Really? I look like James Bond?" Deeks asked, his eyes alight with wonder at her compliment.
"Meh," Kensi scrunched up her nose, tilting her head as her eyes raked over him, "I was thinking more like Austin Powers..."