Life, Lies and Video Surveillance
By Cortexikid
Chapter 19: Snarf
A/N: Okay so, time for some light-hearted fun, because frankly I'm too exhausted to write anything too serious at the minute lol.
Dedicated to: lisbonloafers who loves the idea of more Julia and Deeks interaction as much as I do! :D *crosses fingers for more in season 4*
NOTE: There is gonna be a huge Deeks!Central fic (probably starting around chapter 22 or so) coming up soon, and will more than likely be IV parts all about his past and kinda like what I hope a 'Deeks, M' episode would look like. Anyway, for now, some fun! Enjoy! =]
WOTD: SNARF; sn·ar·f noun; verb. (1) The act of laughing while drinking and expelling liquid through one's nose; (2) To fall asleep with one's clothes on
Deeks' mouth dropped open, gaping like a fish as his eyes landed on Kensi's mom, standing opposite him with her arms folded, her head tilted to the side as she regarded him with pursed lips, her chocolate eyes boring into his.
"Mrs Feld—uh Julia! This...this isn't what it looks like!" Deeks held one hand up in surrender whilst the other clutched the towel around his waist.
Julia's eyebrows shot up.
"Oh really, Marty? Because it looks like you're in my daughter's home alone in the middle of the day, wet and naked as the day you were born."
Deeks glanced down at himself, a sheepish, embarrassed grin forming on his face as a blush crept up his neck and spread all the way up to his hairline.
"Oh, ha! Would ya look at that...it's exactly what it looks like..."
Two Hours Earlier
"Oh come on Kens..." Deeks snorted as he and his partner walked along the beach, he in his wetsuit and she with his surfboard under her arm.
Kensi glared at him, her nose scrunched up in a grimace as she barely suppressed a shiver.
"It's just—ugh!" she exclaimed, a quiver overwhelming her body for a moment as she threw him a sideways glance.
The detective couldn't keep the smirk off his face.
"It's alright Kens, the big, bad, hairy man is gone," he chuckled, as she continued to scowl, her mind constantly replaying the image of a large man with the back worthy of any gorilla that was sprawled out beside her as she watched Deeks surf. Not only had it been so thick that it matted while he rubbed in sun-screen but it then got caked with sand – something that was stuck in Kensi's peripheral vision for over an hour. As a result, her Chaetophobia was back in full swing, repugnance flooding her veins.
"You know Kens, my back's completely hairless," her partner laughed, wiggling his eyebrows as they walked along the tide-line, their toes digging deep into sludgy, soggy sand.
"So is your chest, god Deeks, did you even hit puberty?" she teased, rolling her eyes at him.
"When were you lookin' at my chest?" he inquired, his tone inquisitive and smug.
"Oh I don't know...maybe I caught a glimpse of it when I was hauling your ass out of that killer sauna..." she trailed off sarcastically, her two-toned eyes catching his cerulean ones under the midday sun.
"Odd time to be checking me out partner, you know, if you wanted a closer look of my fine physique, all ya had to do was ask—ow! Kensi!" Deeks yelled as she smacked him on the back with his own surfboard, causing him to stumble and drop his belongings into the water.
Kensi burst out laughing as she saw his duffel bag (containing his clothes) become soaked, sand and seaweed flooding it. Deeks grimaced as he picked it back up, a strand of seaweed clutched between his forefinger and thumb before he flung it at her, grinning with satisfaction as it landed in her hair.
"Deeks!" she scolded, shaking her hair vigorously before kicking her foot through the water, splashing him.
"Uh, wet-suit, Kens," he reminded her before kicking water at her.
"Yeah, and now your only clothes," she pointed to his ruined duffel bag as she wiped droplets of water off her knees.
"Oh hell no, I'm not trekking water and sand through my apartment building, Mrs. Davis already thinks I take advantage of inebriated young women, I'm not having her knowing I surf too – she'll make it her mission to get me evicted for being a 'no-good-waster' and 'a menace to society,'" he grumbled, running a hand through his damp mop of golden locks.
"Which one is Mrs. Davis again?" Kensi asked with a shake of her head.
"The one with popsicle-like hair," Deeks murmured under his breath.
"What?"
"Uh she's the woman who lives in the apartment opposite mine," he said clearer as they reached the edge of the beach.
"Oh, the one that always looks at me weird?"
Deeks couldn't contain his smirk as he nodded, thankful that his partner couldn't remember why it was exactly that Mrs. Davis always stared at her as if she were the devil incarnate.
"Oh no you don't!" Kensi shouted suddenly as they arrived at her car and he reached out to open the door.
"What?" he asked, wrenched his hand away as if the handle burned him.
"You are so not getting into my car wet and covered in sand," she informed him, shoving his surfboard into the backseat along with her bag.
"Then how else am I supposed to get home and changed?"
That stumped the agent for a moment before an idea struck her.
"Okay, you walk to my place, it's closest, and I'll swing by your place and get you some clothes," she reasoned, folding her arms and awaiting his protests. He did not disappoint.
"You expect me to walk through the streets of LA all the way to your house in nothing but a wet-suit?" he gaped.
"This is LA Deeks, wouldn't be the weirdest thing anyone has seen...and you've got sandals," she smirked before hopping into the driver's seat and starting the engine.
"I won't be long," she called over the sound of the engine, "and put down some towels wherever you sit!"
And like that she was off, pulling out of the space and driving away from him, her eyes alive with mirth as they trained on her partner in the rear view mirror, chuckling as she saw him yell something after her before throwing up his arms and beginning to walk.
The exercise would do him good...
The short walk from the beach to Kensi Blye's house had never felt as long to Marty Deeks as it did today. As if the universe was plotting against him, it happened to be incredibly hot in Los Angeles this particular afternoon, with the sun beaming down on the back of the hapless detective's neck, his black wetsuit attracting the intense heat and causing things to get a little...uncomfortable.
If that wasn't bad enough, the sun wasn't the only thing he attracted – many eyes followed his trek as he trudged his feet, clad in flip-flops, down the street, dripping droplets of water still falling from his hair, his suit glued to him as the soaked duffle bag hung off his shoulder.
"Oh thank God..." Deeks murmured when Kensi's house eventually came within sight.
Shoving his hand in the soggy bag, suppressing a grimace, he retrieved his keys from the pocket and plucked his spare key to his partner's home and unlocked her door. A wave of cool breeze hit him immediately as he stepped in the door and closed it behind him; apparently Kensi had cranked the A.C up to eleven. With a shudder from the rapid change in temperature he went in search of some towels.
It was weird being in someone else's home when they weren't there (this coming from a man who inspected suspects' places for a living) but it was even stranger that this home belonged to Kensi Marie Blye. They say that the eyes are the windows to the soul and if that is the case, than to him the home is the window to the psyche. Marty Deeks could tell a lot about a person by the kind of abode they kept and while he never walked through the house with his eyes closed; this was the first time the detective got to really observe it up close and personal.
The funny thing was, it didn't feel intrusive, like he was being disruptive in any way, maybe it was because he'd been there many times and felt comfortable, he didn't know but his body acted almost as if it was on autopilot as he made his way to the bathroom.
It was there, leaning on the sink, where Deeks heaved a sigh, creaked his neck and rolled his shoulders before his eyes flickered to the mirror and his gaze landed on something behind him. A light bulb flashed on in his brain. His partner was more than likely going to kill him for this but...he figured she owed him after making him walk all the from the beach in nothing but essentially a second skin.
A smirk stretched across his face as his eyes twinkled mischievously.
A shower would feel amazing...
"He's a police officer you know," a voice suddenly sounded from behind her as she closed her partner's door and whirled around.
"Uh, excuse me?" she asked politely, as her eyes landed on the familiar Mrs. Davis who was glaring steadily at her over bottle-neck glasses.
"Marty in 21B, he's a cop," she clarified sharply, folding her arms tightly across her chest.
Kensi stared at her for a moment, shifting the bag full of Deeks' belongings in her arms.
"Uh yeah, I know, De—uh Marty is a friend," she smiled brightly, before locking up and making her way over to the elevator.
"Oh I know what kind of friend you are missy," she replied uncouthly, a steel edge to her tone.
The agent gaped, the implication crystal clear, virtually slapping her in the face.
"What—"
"Well, Marty's friend, a word of advice, the next time you want to make a fool of yourself and get stupidly intoxicated, please refrain from returning to this establishment as I like to sleep peacefully at night and do not like getting my face licked by strangers," she snapped before turning on her heel and stomping back into her apartment, slamming the door behind her.
Kensi's eyes were as wide as saucers, her jaw practically on the floor.
What the hell was that about?
Steam filled the rectangular bathroom as the shower door slid open. With bleary eyes, Deeks peered through the fog and snatched up the large, white towel from the rail. Leaning forward, he wiped the condensation off the mirror, towel-dried his hair for a moment before the shrill ring of the doorbell caught his attention.
With a frown of confusion, he padded out of the room, the steam escaping in wisps out into the living room as he trudged towards the door, calling all the way:
"Forgot your keys again did ya Kens? Seriously I told you before tha—"
Deeks' voice died in his throat as he swung open the door and revealed none other than Julia Feldman, Kensi's mom standing on the threshold, staring silently at him.
Oh shit...
Kensi climbed out of her car with a scowl on her face. Just who the hell did that old bat think she was? What had she ever done to her? Obviously, Deeks had brought back some undesirable brunette recently who Mrs. Davis was confusing as the NCIS Agent. That was the only explanation. And what the hell was that 'stranger licking her face' remark? Had she gone crazy or something?
Just as she was starting to worry about the old woman's mental health, her eyes landed on her door, only to find it ajar, the voice of her partner wafting from it. With a sigh, wondering if her partner too had gone insane, she picked up the pace and pushed her way through the door:
"Hey Deeks, what the hell is wrong with Mrs.—Mom!"
Kensi gasped as she drank in the scene in front of her. There, standing in the middle of her living room was her mother and her partner, but that wasn't what was shocking. Oh no, what grabbed her attention was the small fact that said partner was clad in nothing but a towel, (one of her bathroom towels upon further inspection), dripping wet as he averted his eyes, hands on his hips, trying and failing to look innocent.
"Hello sweetheart," her mom replied, cocking her head to the side, eye brow raised as she smirked knowingly at her.
"Uh...De...Deeks I—here," she stammered holding out the bag containing his clothes and glaring daggers at him, subtly tilting her head at the bathroom door, her expression silently hissing get in there and get dressed now before I shoot you.
Deeks' body however had another plan as his legs glued him to the floor, his gaze shifting nervously from mother to daughter and back again.
"I'm sorry, I didn't realize you and Marty had plans, I'll just leave these with you and get out of your way..." she trailed off with a grin, handing two plastic bags to Kensi before smirking at Deeks.
Kensi jumped, reaching out to catch her mother's arm gently, her brain scrambling frantically, trying to think of something, anything, to say.
"No mom, stay, Deeks and I are not...there's nothing going...we've nothing to hide!"
"Well," Julia bit her lip, motioning to the area surrounding Deeks' towel, "I wouldn't say that."
The brunette's cheeks flushed a deep crimson as her partner cleared his throat loudly.
"Uh...I'll just—yeah," he motioned to the door behind him before turning on his heel, one hand still gripping the towel so hard his knuckles were turning white, practically running out of the room.
Kensi and Julia were plunged into an awkward silence as the younger woman's eyes glued to the floor, the penetrating stare of her mother sweeping over her like an x-ray.
"I—I just gotta ask him something," she excused herself, calling over her shoulder, "make yourself at home mom, I'll be right back."
Even with her back turned, she knew her mother was smirking at her. This was not good.
She was going to kill Deeks!
With a clenched jaw, she flung open her bathroom door and stormed into in, glancing around wildly, a blush creeping up her neck as she caught Deeks doing up the fly on his jeans, still shirtless.
"Kens what—"
"What the hell are you doing?" she poked him hard in the shoulder, trying to keep her voice at a low hiss.
"Ow what—"
"You just waltz in here and decide use MY shower? Then answer MY door to MY mother in your birthday suit? Are you crazy?" she continued, each 'my' punctuated with a round of pokes.
"Ow, ow and ow! That hurt Kens..." he trailed off, trying his best to look innocent but not quite pulling it off, being shirtless and all.
"Will you just get dressed?" she demanded, throwing her hands up in frustration.
"Huh."
"What?"
Deeks shook his head, shrugging his shoulders.
"Nothing, it's just—I'm not used to women telling me to put my clothes back on."
Kensi glared and punched him in the chest, hard.
"Need I remind you, you were just standing naked in front of my mother?" she hissed, eyes flaring.
"Ow! Okay one, I was only semi-naked and two, will you stop beating me up and let me explain?" he grumbled, rubbing his chest.
Her eyebrows rose in a challenge, her arms folding across her chest, her body language screaming, okay then surfer boy, talk yourself out of this one.
"I—"
"Marty! Are you staying for dinner?" Julia called from the kitchen, effectively cutting of what would have been admittedly a sorry excuse from the blond detective.
Deeks' eyes migrated to his partner's in silent question.
"I—I don't think so Mrs Feldman, I should probably get going!" he replied, rubbing the back of his neck as Kensi rolled her eyes.
"Oh nonsense, stay! The more the merrier, right Kens?" she asked, warmth in her raised tone.
A small smile slid across Deeks' face as Kensi heaved a sigh, levelling her gaze to his, which was admittedly difficult seeing as he stood not a foot from her in nothing but jeans.
Focus Blye, focus...
"Right mom, sure, the more the merrier," she yelled as her partner's slightly nervous blue orbs bore into her.
"Hey Kens, it's fine really I can—"
"No, no...stay," she murmured firmly before turning on her heel and stalking out, calling over her shoulder, "just put a damn shirt on, Tarzan."
A rumble of laughter filled the kitchen as Julia, Kensi and Deeks sat around the small, circular table, sipping red wine and swapping stories as they finished their delicious meal that the elder brunette graciously prepared.
"Oh my god, she didn't," Deeks laughed as Kensi buried her face in her hands.
"Mom—"
"Oh yes, she did, right in front of everybody," Julia chuckled, "just stood up there, with her tutu tucked into her underwear and shook her booty for all the world to see..."
The detective snorted into his glass, shaking his head, his shoulders shaking as he continued to laugh silently. His partner's glare was boring into him but he didn't care, merrily tucking into his chicken.
"So, what about you, Marty? Any funny stories from your childhood?" Julia asked innocently, raising her eyebrows at him.
The detective and the agent exchanged a quick glance, before he cleared his throat and took another sip of wine.
"Uh, not really no but, I do have a good one from when I was in Law school—"
"You were in Law School?" Kensi's mom interrupted, her tone alive with awe as she nudged her daughter with her elbow.
"Oh and he's every bit as smart as you said he was!" she beamed before standing up and walking over to the fringe.
Deeks leaned over a little and murmured under his breath, "you said I was smart?"
Kensi inclined into him, her breath bouncing off his jaw, "I said you were a smart-ass."
He erupted in a chortle just as Julia arrived back at the table, an apple pie in her hands.
"Now, it's store-bought but...it's probably still good," she grinned, placing it in the middle of the table before beginning to clear away the plates.
Deeks stood up and immediately began helping her and didn't notice when Julia threw another pleased glance in her daughter's direction. Kensi merely rolled her eyes before taking another sip of wine.
After dinner had been cleared away, the detective came back with fresh plates and forks as Julia cut the pie. The three of them devoured it in minutes, opening a new bottle of wine. As if she timed it perfectly, Julia waited precisely until the moment where both partners were taking a large gulp of their drinks before commenting:
"You know Marty; you would make a wonderful son-in-law."
Kensi choked as those words rang in her ears, spluttering as she felt the wine go down the wrong way, coughing and grimacing as fluid squirted from her nose. She cautiously avoided the blond's gaze as she grabbed a napkin and covered her mouth, trying and failing to catch all the liquid. What the hell was her mom trying to do to her!
Deeks for his part, kept his cool as he saw a trail of droplets escape down his partner's chin and bit his lip, his gaze finding Julia's and holding it.
"You know," she continued as if nothing was out of the ordinary, "with manners and charm like yours, you would make the perfect son-in-law for someone, someday..."she trailed off before standing up again, this time clearing off the dessert plates. When Deeks stood up again, she shooed him, "no, no don't you dare Marty! You go into the living room and relax in front of the TV, Kensi and I will clear up the rest."
The detective in Deeks knew that it was a subtle tactic to get him out of the room, but the curious, mischievous fourteen-year-old in him wanted to know what he'd be missing. He was not a stupid man however so he gracefully bowed out and went to see what was on the idiot box, trying desperately not to give into his overwhelming desire to eavesdrop, he had more respect than that after all.
Once the door was shut firmly behind her partner, Kensi whirled around to her mom and hissed viciously, "what the hell was that?"
Julia merely shrugged her shoulders, her eyes bulging, "what? I was only making an observation."
"An observation. Really?" she heaved herself up from the table and stalked over to her mother.
"Saying that the walls are cream is an observation, saying that the plates are round is an observation, but saying that my partner would make a good son in law for you is something that should not be observed, ever!" she scowled, folding her arms and trying to control the fleeting panic, irritation and unease seeping into her veins, her eyes frantically darting to the closed door, her ears perking, trying to determine if the TV was on.
Julia rolled her eyes and put her hand on her daughter's arm to try and calm her.
"Okay honey, one, I said he would make a good son-in-law to someone someday and two why should I keep those observations to myself? Marty is a wonderful young man and the sooner you realize that he is perfect for—"
"No! No, no, mom, not this again—"
"Yes this again Kensi. Now I...I know that I have no right to stake claim over anything in your life but...but when we reunited, I—I hoped that maybe I could have an opinion or at least offer any advice on some things and trust me when I say sweetheart...that man out there, he's good and kind and sweet and...perfect for you. Now, maybe you can't see it or maybe you don't want to, but I can see it. I can see how you are when he's around. How your entire body lights up when you see him, how much you enjoy his company and how much he adores—"
"Stop. Just—stop," Kensi interrupted her with a held up hand and a shake of her head. As her mother spoke, the agent had paced back and forth and now she stood stock still with her back turned, chewing on her left thumb-nail.
"Kensi I—"
Kensi whirled around and bit her lip, her polychrome eyes shining brightly in the dim light of the kitchen. Mother and daughter stared at one another for a long moment, complete and utter silence engulfing them. With a soft sigh, Kensi took an attentive step towards Julia and rested her palm on her forearm.
"Thank you mom, I—I know what you're trying to do but really...I'm fine. Mine and Deeks' relationship is fine like it is. We're partners, friends, co-workers and that's how it should stay...how it has to stay..." she trailed off, ignoring the slight crack in her tone and the sensation of her heart sinking into her stomach.
"But why?"
Well, that was the sixty-four thousand dollar question wasn't it? So, Kensi went with the old reliable.
"Because inter-office relationships aren't allowed," she said firmly, swallowing deeply and averting her eyes.
Julia nodded slowly, apparently accepting that explanation. Kensi heaved an inner sigh of relief, opening her mouth to change the subject only to be interrupted by the shrill ring of a cell-phone.
"Oh honey I'm sorry that's me, you mind if I take this?" Julia asked as she snatched her phone up off the table.
"Yeah sure, go ahead, I'll be in the living room," Kensi murmured as she walked out of the room, trying to put the pent-up-feelings back in their place and get back to normal.
"Anything good on?" she asked as Deeks came into sight, his body sprawled in a half-sitting, half-lying position, his eyes trained on the TV.
"Some show about a cop and a writer," he shrugged, patting the seat and grinning as Kensi sat down beside him, their thighs an inch apart.
"Okay," she mumbled non-commitedly before turning her attention to the TV, ignoring her partner's gaze that landed on her.
"Your mom's awesome," he said after a bit of comfortable silence.
"Yeah, she is," she agreed, still not looking at him.
"She'd make a good mother-in-law," he continued and her eyes snapped to him but his were now on the TV.
"You know, for someone, someday..." he trailed off, his words almost echoing in the room.
Kensi's eyes stayed glued to him for a long moment, before she shifted on the couch a little, her shoulder just touching his.
"Yeah..." she replied, her eyelids beginning to grow heavy, "maybe..."
After hanging up the phone, Julia glanced at her watch and was shocked to find that over an hour had passed. She really didn't mean to chat to Margie that long but time just flew and...oh god, Kensi and Marty probably thought she was so rude!
With a shake of her head, Julia grabbed her purse and made her way out into the living room, calling:
"Hey I'm so sorry I—"
Words stuck in her throat, her feet gluing to the floor. With a soft smile and glimmering eyes, she drank in the sheer beauty of the sight in front of her. There, not ten feet from her, was her daughter, her head leaning on Marty's shoulder, his arm flung around the back the couch, his fingers rested gently on her arm – both fast asleep.
Biting her lip and trying to contain the strong emotion that was erupting in her chest, the elder brunette reached over and turned off the TV before tip-toeing as quietly as she could over to the armchair and grabbing the throw-blanket. With great caution, she leaned down and draped the blanket over her daughter and the detective before retrieving her keys and padding to the door.
With one last look over her shoulder, she snapped a quick photo on her phone (she just couldn't resist it – after all, maybe her stubborn daughter would listen if she provided some proof) and opened the door gently before stepping out into the night and locking it behind her, a satisfied smile on her face.
It was only a matter of time, she knew. Marty Deeks would one day be the perfect son-in-law, one she could brag about to all her friends. You mark her words.
A/N: I just want to apologize for the slight delay in posting new chapters, I am still unwell and am not writing as quickly or as efficiently as I'd like to. I hope you guys understand.
NEXT CHAPTER TEASER:
"You're my partner, and I love you," the words escaped his lips before his foggy mind could stop him.
"Wow. You must be drunk off your ass if you're throwing around the L word," she murmured, trying to ignore the rapid increase of her heartbeat and the shortness of breath.
"I thought the L word was Lesbian?"