Life, Lies and Video Surveillance
By Cortexikid
Chapter 20: Eccedentesiast
A/N: Thank you so much! Your response to the last chapter was overwhelming! I'm in your debt :D
This chapter was painful to write...sad!Deeks just breaks my heart :(
Disclaimer: NCIS: LA still isn't mine. =[
NOTE: This could be considered a prequel what's coming up in chapter 22. The events depicted here (and the final scene in the next chapter) will be referenced again the IV-Part 'Deeks, M' storyline – chapter 22, 23, 24 & 25.
WARNING: DARK THEMES AHEAD
WOTD: ECCEDENTESIAST; ec·ced·en·te·si·ast noun. One who fakes a smile
"You're my partner, and I love you," he murmured, the words escaping his lips before his foggy mind could stop them.
There was a beat of silence as polychrome and cerulean orbs met, the latter a little misty. Kensi swallowed deeply, before forcing out a humourless, nervous laugh.
"Wow. You must be drunk off your ass if you're throwing around the L word," she murmured, trying to ignore the rapid increase of her heartbeat and her shortness of breath.
"I thought the L word was Lesbian?"
She knew it was his way of diffusing the tension and in that moment she was grateful for it. Inebriated or not, those words coming out of her partner's mouth was just petrifying, shocking and something she really had no idea how to answer, but she had to say something, anything to make this right.
"Deeks—"
"Shh..." he pressed a finger to her lips before leaning closer to her, his mouth an inch from hers...
Two Hours Earlier...
"Another, my good man," Marty Deeks called as he slammed an empty glass down on the bar.
The bar-tender, a short, robust man of about fifty named Eddie, shook his head as he poured another measure of whiskey. It was the detective's sixth in the last hour and it was beginning to take its toll on the blond man, who was somewhat slumped over, his face resting in his palm as his bleary eyes tilted to the TV that hung from the wall.
Deeks nodded his thanks and immediately knocked it back down in one large gulp. Eddie frowned as he motioned silently for another.
"Easy lad, pace yourself a little," he said gently with a western-Irish accent, "it's only early yet."
Deeks merely stared at him, his expression blank before his attention was caught by something on the television.
"Hey Ed, can you turn that up?"
Eddie shrugged and did as he asked; pointing the remote up at the TV that now had the image of young boy of around ten-years-old with blond hair and blue eyes on its screen. Deeks' eyes narrowed as he read the caption underneath the picture:
10-YEAR-OLD BOBBY WOODS FOUND BEATEN TO NEAR-DEATH IN HIS HOME THIS MORNING. POLICE TAKE HIS STEP-FATHER, 39-YEAR-OLD MARCUS WHITE IN FOR QUESTIONING AS THE BOY REMAINS IN CRITICAL CONDITION AT COUNTY GENERAL HOSPITAL...
"Terrible, poor boy," Eddie murmured quietly, his mouth twisting into a deep frown. Deeks tilted back his glass and swallowed deeply before nodding in agreement, his ears perking as he heard the news anchor begin to talk.
"Tragedy strikes in downtown Los Angeles this morning as ten-year-old Bobby Woods is found in his home, badly beaten and barely breathing by his twelve-year-old brother Dylan. Medics arrived on the scene at 10:45 as did the boys' mother to take him to hospital where he has been undergoing surgery for his injuries for the last few hours, remaining in critical condition. Authorities have arrested Marcus White, the boys' step-father in relation to the crime – more on this story as it unfolds..."
Eddie shook his head in disgust before throwing the detective a glance.
"You alright Marty?" he asked, concern lacing his tone.
Deeks' head snapped up, his eyes a little unfocused.
"I'm...fine..." he murmured, his words a little slurred.
The bar-tender's eyebrows furrowed as he watched the LAPD liaison fumble with his keys, slamming his cell phone on the bar.
"You're not gonna try drive are ya Marty? 'Cause if ya are, I'm gonna have to take the keys off ya son, you're not fit to—"
"I know Ed, I know," he grumbled before dragging both hands down his face tiredly.
"Is there...anyone you want me to call?"
"No! I—I'll be...okay," Deeks exclaimed a little louder than he intended, before he stumbled off the stool, his long legs sprawled akimbo, staggering forwards in a fashion akin to Bambi's first steps, slowly and awkwardly making his way to the restroom.
Eddie watched cautiously as he made it to the door and sighed as he slammed it behind him. With a grim face, he glanced down and saw the detective's cell-phone beside the empty glass and made a snap decision. Picking it up, he scrolled through the call history and found the name that was most frequently dialled. With a quick glance to the restroom door, he heaved a sigh and pushed the button. After only two rings, a female voice answered:
"What's up Deeks?"
"Uh...sorry to bother ya ma'am, my name is Eddie, I'm calling—"
"Is Deeks okay? Where is he?" her voice grew worried as the sounds of frantic fumbling wafted from her end.
"Uh yeah he's fine just...I own a bar down-town called 'O'Brian's' and Marty's here...he's a little...drunk ma'am, and I think that maybe he's had enough for today. Is there any chance you could come and pick him up or know anyone that could?" he paused a moment as there was more rustling on the line before her voice replied clearly:
"I'll be there in ten."
The soft crooning of Frank Sinatra omitted from a small juke-box in the corner of the dimly lit 'O'Brian's Pub' as Kensi Blye stepped in, her dark eyes scanning the place vigilantly before catching on a familiar figure. There, at the very back, slumped at the bar in jeans and a ratty tee was her partner, Marty Deeks; who was seemingly unaware of her arrival as he was too busy knocking back a glass of russet liquid.
With a furrowed brow, the agent walked quietly towards him, throwing the bar-tender a small nod as she halted two seats from the blond, resting her elbow on the bar and biting her lip, waiting for her partner to acknowledge her.
"Either Eddie called you or you really are psychic Fern," he murmured softly, the clink of the glass reverberating loudly against the surface of the bar as he put it down, cerulean eyes staring straight ahead.
"Bit early to be drinkin' don't ya think partner?" she chose to reply instead, glancing at the clock before turning her gaze back to Deeks, whose head was now lowered.
"It's happy hour somewhere," he grumbled, staring deeply into the bottom of the glass.
"Yeah but, six-thirty Deeks? I don't think I've ever seen you start so—"
"Yeah well, there's a first time for everything," he interrupted, a downward infliction to his tone. Kensi stilled at his voice, immediately recognizing that there was something off about it, something just not quite right. With a frown, she reached forward and lay her hand gently down on his forearm.
"Come on; let me take you home..."
"Now that is a first," he gave a hollow laugh, swivelling around in the stool to fix her with a hazy look.
"What's a first?" she asked cautiously, not sure if she would like his answer or not.
He gave another humourless chuckle and shrugged.
"A beautiful brunette offering to take me home," he smirked, one eyebrow raised as if daring her to question him.
"Oh I wouldn't say that...Mrs Davis seems to think it's a regular occurrence," she murmured, a hint of censure in her tone.
Deeks' cocked his head to the side, folding his arms.
"And why's that?"
"Apparently one of your trysts tried to lick her face," she rolled her eyes, unable to keep the distain out of her voice.
Deeks snorted as she said this, a soft chuckle shaking his shoulders.
"What?" Kensi asked, a small, apprehensive smile on her face.
"N-Nothing...you were saying something about taking me home?" he not-so-subtly changed the subject before attempting to slide off his stool, only to have his legs buckle underneath him.
Kensi leapt forward and caught him before he could sink to the floor.
"Whoa, easy there partner," she murmured, her voice a little muffled as her mouth was accidently pressed against his shoulder as he leaned into her. With a slow ease, she slung one arm around his shoulder, as his hands flew to her waist to try and steady himself.
"Uh...sorry..." he grumbled, staring down at their dance-like-position confusedly for a moment before releasing her waist abruptly, shame seeping into his tone as it hit him just how much the alcohol had affected him.
"C'mon partner, let's go piss off Mrs. Davis," she wiggled her eyebrows, trying to banish his sudden (and alien) melancholy mood. She could not, would not, let him see how much his current state effected her, flowed dread through her veins, an ache rising in her chest, worry and anxiety clawing at the surface of her skin.
"Sounds like a plan," he replied a little too jovially, a smile, (that to the observer looked the epitome of mischievous) Kensi knew well to be false.
The agent merely ignore these alarming changes in her partner and helped him walk out of the bar (throwing a thankful smile to Ed) and into the dusk of downtown Los Angeles with one mission already settling into her brain...to get Marty Deeks to tell her what was bothering him.
She'd didn't care how long it took.
He'd do the same for her.
"Deeks...Deeks...DEEKS!" Kensi called, poking him in the shoulder, barely containing a laugh as he startled awake, eyes shooting open and darting around him.
"We're home..." she said gently, before catching herself, "uh, we're at your apartment," she amended, before exiting the car and traipsing around to his side, opening to the door and waiting for him to take his seatbelt off.
Deeks, for his part, merely stared up at her, his eyes slightly unfocused. Kensi frowned as he fumbled around, trying to release the belt, biting his lip in deep concentration. After a moment, she rolled her eyes and leaned over him, unbuckling the seat belt from around his waist and holding out her hand for him to take.
The detective stared at her gesture for a moment, as if the idea of taking her hand was alien to him, before shaking his head and taking it, heaving himself up and out of the seat. Thankfully this time he handled the momentum better than he had in the bar and only marginally swayed on his feet. To be safe, Kensi wrapped one arm around his waist, her hand gripping his hip as they both trudged through the parking lot and into the apartment building. It wasn't until they reached the elevator that they met another soul.
"LAPD's finest hard at work I see," Mrs Davis said snidely, as she stepped into the elevator to stand a little in front of them.
"Mrs. Davis," Deeks smirked as Kensi threw him a warning glare, "always a pleasure..."
She pursued her lips in reply and shook her head disapprovingly.
"We were just talking about you," Deeks continued, chuckling as he felt Kensi's hand tighten on his waist.
"Oh really? Why's that?" she asked, nostrils flaring.
"Oh nothing really," the detective snorted, "we were just wondering what flavour popsicle you prefer..."
As those words reverberated in her ears, something jolted into place with Kensi, as if the last piece of a long abandoned puzzle was out of the blue now complete. Suddenly, a rush of images overwhelmed her senses, morphing into one another like a twisted kaleidoscope, each one more disturbing than the next. Stumbling, laughing, gray hair, lapping tongues, loud music, clumsy limbs, loud voices...it all came flooding back to her.
The agent barely contained her gasp as the older lady fixed them with a glare.
"And what concern is it of yours what flavour popsicle I prefer?"
Geez, does this woman have an off button?
"Just healthy curiosity Mrs. Davis," Deeks grinned, offering her a little wave as they all stepped out of the elevator and made their way to their respective apartments.
"Yeah well, you know what they say Marty, curiosity killed the cop," she snipped, before stepping in her door and slamming it behind her.
"I'm pretty sure that's not how that saying goes," Deeks shouted through her door as Kensi elbowed him gently.
"Ow! Kens! Geez...what climbed up her ass and died anyway?" he grumbled loudly before patting himself down, searching for his keys.
"Looking for these?" Kensi asked before she unceremoniously shoved her hand in his jeans pocket and pulled out his keys.
"Whoa, down girl! What happened to the bubble of personal space?"
"That went out the window when you forgot how to use your legs," she informed him, pulling him forward with her as she leant down to unlock the door.
"Come on partner, in we go," she ushered him in gently, an overwhelming sense of déjà vu attacking her brain.
"Let's get you to bed," she continued almost to herself, halting as he snorted.
"No can do partner, I'm a traditional girl, you're gonna have to wine and dine me first."
"Think you got the wine part down, partner," she griped before dragging him over to the couch, "the dine part I can do," she finished, gently easing him down on the couch before straightening up, hands on her hips as she stared down at him.
"Gonna make some Snicker Doodles Kens?" he asked with a mischievous grin, leaning his head on the back on the couch, his eyes mere slits as he fought to keep them open.
For some reason, those words also stirred something in the back of Kensi's mind but she shrugged it off and focused on the task at hand.
"No Snicker Doodles but...how do you feel about grilled cheese?"
The detective remained silent.
"Deeks?" she mumbled softly, leaning forward and staring at him before a small smile spread across her face. Apparently, her partner had fallen asleep, his cerulean eyes now firmly closed, his mouth slightly ajar but, there was just something...off about his expression as he slumbered.
During their time posing as husband and wife, Kensi catalogued a few things about Detective Marty Deeks in her memory bank. One of those things was how he looked while he slept (not that she watched him sleep or anything, of course not) and the entire time they were living together, whenever he was snoozing he would do this cute, little twitchy thing with his nose...just like she told him he did.
The little twitch was absent now, his eyebrows instead furrowed, his eyes darting rapidly behind his eyelids. Kensi bite her lip, watching him intently for a moment before deciding to make him that sandwich, he really had to soak up some of that whiskey...
"Shit..." she hissed, scraping some of the burnt bits off the bread, hoping that it'd taste okay. Just as she was cutting it half, a loud groan coming from the living room caught her attention.
"No...no! Please..."
"Deeks?" she asked, her heart jumping into her throat as she rushed into the room, plate in hand, her eyes finding her partner worriedly.
"Please...don't..." he was grumbling anxiously in his sleep, thrashing back and forth on the couch, beads of sweat on his forehead, dampening his hair, his face screwed up in pain.
Kensi leapt forward, putting the plate on the coffee table and kneeling in front of her partner, gently shaking his shoulder, calling out to him:
"Deeks! Deeks wake up, you're having a nightmare..."
The detective leapt forward, breathing heavily as he bolted awake, his eyes widened like saucers as he continued to thrash around for a moment.
"Hey, hey, it's me, you're fine, I got you..." Kensi cooed softly, her hand jumping to steady him, her palm resting on his cheek, tilting his jaw to force him to look at her.
"Hey, it's Kensi, look at me..." she gently prodded, her heart panging painfully in her chest as she felt him shiver, swallowing deeply and unable to keep eye contact with her.
Before her brain could catch up, Kensi leaned her body up even further into him and wrapped her arms around his neck, squeezing him gently. He tensed for a moment before he relaxed against her, his arms lying gently on her back.
They sat like stayed like that for a long moment, the only sound in their room being their mingled breaths. After a minute, hour, day, Deeks pulled back, his eyes still averted, before murmuring gently, "do I smell food?"
Kensi leaned back on her feet, chuckling before reaching behind her and retrieving the plate, offering it to him before climbing up onto the couch to seat beside him.
Deeks tucked into the sandwich quietly, his eyes trained straight ahead as Kensi fought to keep her eyes off him. The desire to talk was bubbling under the surface, clawing at her but before she could open her mouth to question him, he beat her to it:
"Thanks Kens...I uh...really appreciate it," he grumbled, his throat sounding a little dry.
"You want some water?" she asked quietly, patting his arm in silent acknowledgement of his thanks before standing up and beginning to walk towards the kitchen.
"I—I didn't mean to...freak out like that," his voice stopped her in her tracks.
Slowly, she turned on the spot, her dark eyes raking over him.
His entire being screamed defeat...his limbs sagging, his back and neck slouched, his eyes glimmering brightly as they glued to the floor, still avoided her gaze.
"Deeks..." she murmured gently, walking back over and sitting down, her whole body angled toward him, "please tell me...what happened today?"
The blond heaved a sigh, pushing the half-empty plate back onto the coffee table and turning to face her, figuring the least he could do after all she'd done was offer her an explanation, no matter how hard it was for him.
"I—did you hear about what happened down town earlier this morning?" he asked, edging around the subject.
Kensi frowned, casting her mind to the news she half listened to earlier that day before shaking her head.
"Well it...a young boy was uh...he was found in his home...badly beaten..." he trailed off, teasing up again.
Kensi's heart plummeted into her stomach. It suddenly all began to make sense...oh god...
"And it's just typical too," her partner continued, a bitter twist to his mouth, "today of all days..."
The agent's head snapped up at that, her eyes raking over his pained face, drinking in his expression, frowning as she saw his eyes shine even more brightly before he swept a hand over them quickly, clearing his throat loudly.
Reaching out, Kensi clasped his hand, squeezing it gently, her heart hammering with worry as she saw her partner try and rein in his emotions.
"What's today Deeks?" she asked softly with an extra squeeze.
The blond's eyes shifted from their intertwined hands to finally meeting her gaze, his eyes clearly watering as he bit his lip, his mind scrambling for an appropriate response.
"Uh...twenty-two years ago on this day, an eleven year old raised a gun and shot his father in the chest..." he trailed off, his stare lowering to the floor again as he continued:
"Twenty-two years ago today, I shot Gordon John Brandel. I woke up this morning, knowing that, accepting that, only to turn on my TV and what do I see? A young boy, blond, blue-eyed and innocent, beaten to near-death by a grown man, a man who should be protecting him, a man who he should look up to..."
Kensi reached out with her other hand and held his hand in both of hers as he took a deep breath.
"So, before I knew it I—I was out the door and down at O'Brian's and on my sixth whiskey on the rocks, all the while the image of this boy burned into my brain, a constant reminder of—" the rest of the sentence died in his throat as it constricted, a strong wave of emotion welling behind his eyes and burning his trachea.
Kensi, for her part, kept a hold on his hand as he struggled through his thoughts, offering silent support if he needed it.
After a moment of collecting himself, Deeks looked back up and was met by the soft warmth of his partner's polychrome eyes and felt his anguish begin to dissolve. There was something about her...about her expression that just calmed him, soothed the ache in his chest, pushed away the bad dreams and the horrific memories. She really was a fantastic partner, a wonderful friend.
Suddenly, he felt as if his previous thanks wasn't enough.
"Kens?" he started, his fuzzy brain fumbling at how to continue.
"Yeah Deeks?" she prompted, her thumb sweeping gently across his knuckles.
The blond bit his lip before taking a deep breath.
"You're my partner, and I love you..."
Kensi's mouth opened and closed like a gaping fish as Deeks pressed his finger to her lips and shushed her, leaning closer and closer to her.
"Deeks what—" she broke off abruptly as his lips connected with her cheek, dangerously close to her mouth.
For a brief moment, she let her eyes flutter closed, suddenly transported back to cover kisses in houses and hotels, the desire to run her fingers through soft blond tendrils almost unbearable before she caught herself and forced her eyes open.
Deeks leaned back gently, his light orbs finding hers, a soft but sincere smile on his face.
"Seriously Kens I—I really do care about you a lot. Before I met you I had no...you and the team have become a family to me. You're the best and closest friend I've ever had and I love you...and that's not just the alcohol talking. I just...thought that I should tell you that at least once..." he trailed off, a bout of fear seeping into his veins.
Kensi's heart did the rumba in her chest as his words echoed in the silent room. She knew that it actually was undoubtedly the alcohol talking (or at least she convinced herself it was) but that didn't stop the words having a profound effect on her, caused a whole host of feelings to come rushing to the surface, all confusing and oddly crystal clear simultaneously. But this was neither the time nor place for startling realizations (that could wait until she was alone and back home and away from the man that stirred thoughts and emotions in her that she once thought were long gone) no matter how terrifying and jolting they may be.
Pushing down her strong reaction with a bite of her lip, she threw him a soft grin and squeezed his hand again. She was the sober one here, she had to get a grip on the situation or things could happen...things neither of them could take back...
"Ditto," she replied quickly to quell her quick-fire thoughts, trying to sound as normal as possible, quirking of her eyebrow as he chuckled.
"My partner, ever the wordsmith," he teased as she jabbed him gently in the shoulder.
Before she could faux-scold him, Deeks let out a large yawn, pulling his hand away to cover his mouth.
"Looks like someone could do with a nap," Kensi commented before standing up, her hand outstretched for him to take.
Deeks' eyebrows rose, staring at her hand with interest.
"A man could get used to this," he smirked before taking her hand and trying to haul himself up only this time his legs failed him and he pulled on his partner's hand with a sharp tug. Kensi was caught off guard and she stumbled forward.
Both partners let out a silent gasp as Deeks fell back onto the couch, dragging Kensi unceremoniously down on top of him. Frantic, bulging eyes met as noses collided, chests pressed together as thighs straddled waists.
Well, this was...different.
"I—uh..." Kensi frenetically tried to say something, anything as she desperately fought to ignore their awkward position.
Oh. My. God. I'm straddling him. Get up Blye, get up!
"Clumsy me," Deeks apologized, his cheeks tinged pink as he stared up at his beautiful partner, her hair sprawled down over her face as her nose hovered an inch from his, her breath bouncing off his lips.
A low tease of excitement heated low in his stomach. He had to put an end to this now, before things got really...uncomfortable...
Baseball. Dead puppies. Mrs. Davis in a bikini.
"My—my fault," she stuttered, tilting her head back, her face burning with embarrassment as if she knew where his foggy mind was travelling, scrambling up and off him, putting a safe distance between them.
"I—I'm gonna hit the lay—hay!" Deeks half-shouted as he dragged himself off the couch and stood unsteadily in front of her.
"Okay, sure, I—I'll uh, talk to you tomorrow?" his partner asked, her voice an octave too high as she made her way to the front door.
"Sure," he smiled, following her as she stepped out the door and turned to look at him.
"If you need anything..." she let the suggestion hang, her offer loud and clear.
"Thanks partner," he murmured as she offered a small nod and a short wave before making her way down the hallway towards the elevator.
Deeks watched as she threw him one last smile before stepping in the elevator and out of sight.
Slowly, the detective closed the door and rested his forehead against it, thumping gently on it a few times.
What the hell was that?
"Ugh!" Deeks exclaimed as he opened his door to Kensi Marie Blye who cheerily shoved a brown-paper bag in his face.
"And hello to you too Ms. Havisham," she dead-panned, drinking in his rumpled appearance, his bloodshot eyes and dishevelled hair apparently amusing her. She had to stop stealing his jokes...
"How can you be so cheery at—" Deeks paused to check his watch, "early o' clock?"
The agent chuckled as she made her way to the kitchen, taking out plates and cutlery.
"Probably because I didn't drink my weight in whiskey yesterday," she replied, her voice a little timid as she tried to gage his mood.
Despite his obvious hang-over though, he seemed relatively fine.
But 'fine' was not a favourite word of hers.
Deeks unloaded the bag onto the table and grinned as he opened up the container to see freshly made pancakes with golden syrup staring up at him.
"I wasn't sure what the best hangover cure for you is...but pancakes always help me," his partner grinned, clinking her fork with his in a silent toast.
"Good call," he praised before tucking in, thankful that he was never the type to be sick to his stomach when suffering from alcohol exposure.
The two partners ate in comfortable silence before the detective was compelled to break it.
"Thanks...for last night, I—I really appreciate it," he murmured sincerely, looking her straight in the eye.
Kensi smiled, shrugging, "well, you kept an eye on me when I was as high as a kite, figured the least I could do was return the favour when you were drunker than Charlie Sheen."
"Really? I was Charlie Sheen drunk?"
"Drunker."
"Explains the jackhammer in my head."
The brunette laughed heartily as he grimaced.
"Not so loud," he faux-scolded with a roll of his eyes.
A look passed over his partner's face then as she stilled on the chair. He knew she wanted desperately to ask if how he was so he decided to make it easier for her:
"I'm fine...good, Kens, really, it's like the SEALs say, the toughest day is tomorrow."
"The only easy day was yesterday."
"Whatever, you know what I mean. I'm good...or at least, I will be," he finished honestly as she walked around the table, bumping his shoulder with hers.
They both knew that there was a lot to be discussed. Half-kisses and accidental straddling and L words and fearful dreams and hushed, tormented memories and startling realizations (fully acknowledged or not) being at the top of the pile. But that was for another time, another day. Now they needed normal. Or at least, their very own weird version of normal.
"Good," the agent continued, "'cause I got a bone to pick you with you."
"Kinky..."
Kensi poked him in the chest, fixing him with a gentle glare.
"Tell me partner...what the hell is with Mrs. Davis?"
A/N: So yeah, not fully happy with this but decided to post it before I chickened out. Hope you guys enjoyed it even if I'm not so sure... There will be expansion on this type-of-storyline (Deeks' troubled past etc.) in chapters 22, 23, 24 & 25.
Please review =]
~Ck
NEXT CHAPTER TEASER:
"I didn't realize we needed spicing up...you bored with me Deeks?"
"What—"
"'Cause if you are, you know I can always pair up with Callen and you and Sam can—"
"Nope. No. Me, bored with you Kens? Never."