September 1, 2008
Dear Mom,
I have a lot to tell you about today.
First off, yesterday went AMAZING. I had lots of fun hanging out with my friends. I mostly hung out with Cody for the night. Cody's still been really nice to me. He doesn't go longer than an hour without telling me how hot or sexy I am. I really, really like Cody, mom. Yesterday, he kissed me. On the lips, too. It was nice to kiss him, but I think something's wrong with me because I didn't feel the sparks. Dallas told me that when you kiss someone that really means something to you, you'll feel electricity when you kiss. I didn't feel that with Cody, but maybe it's because I wasn't looking for it. I wasn't expecting him to stick his tongue in my mouth like he did, though. I thought it was going to be an easy kiss, but he went straight for it. I didn't even feel anything there. Maybe something's wrong with me. I wonder if he felt anything when we kissed.
I don't know how badly I'm reaching, but I feel a little weird about sex. Yesterday after we got out of the pool for good, we went down in Nick's basement to watch a couple movies. Me and Cody made out a lot in the basement, but it was strange, because Nick and Selena had sex right there. They weren't rude about it. I didn't even realize that's what they were doing until I looked. I think Cody felt like we were supposed to, but I just stuck with the kissing.
On the other side, I talked to Nick's brother yesterday too. Joe was really nice to talk to. We basically just talked about stupid things. I think I flirted with Joe a little bit, which sucks because I didn't even try to. What's worse is that I didn't even feel bad for flirting with Joe then going and kissing Cody.
I fantasize about Joe, I think. I know that he's too old for me to ever have a chance with him, but I have a slight crush on him. Almost like I have a crush on Mr. Carrison. Joe's nineteen and I'm only sixteen. He probably doesn't even think of me, but I think of him. I only think of Joe sexually. I don't think of him relationship-wise. I try to stop myself from thinking about him in the relationship way. I just don't think there's any use in getting my hopes up.
On another note about yesterday, I met Selena's mom. She told me that she knew you. Did you know her? She said that her mom and grandma used to play cards together and when they'd play cards, you used to play with each other. She did say that you were a good few years older than her, though. That's strange if you knew her. It's a small world, isn't it? I didn't tell her that you're not here anymore. I didn't feel like I should've. I still haven't even accepted that.
So anyway, today, I'm going to the beach with Selena. Cody's not going to be there, which is a good thing and a bad thing. It's a good thing, because I need a break from him sometimes. It's a bad thing, because I know that I'll eventually miss him. I wonder why he doesn't text me in the mornings or anything. I gave him my number on Wednesday and he hasn't texted me since. Today's Saturday. Maybe I'm overreacting, so I'll just shut up.
I'll let you know how the beach goes. Take care, I love you.
Until next time,
Love always,
Demi.
After I write my letter, I go downstairs to see what my aunt and uncle are up to. Uncle Jason is in the kitchen and Aunt Kathy isn't anywhere to be found. Jorge isn't anywhere to be found either.
"…Where'd everybody go?" I approach my uncle in the kitchen and sit down on a bar stool.
He cracks an egg into a shallow blue bowl and beats it with a fork. "Kathy took the dog to the groomers and she ran to grab a few things from the drugstore. She'll be back. You hungry?"
"What are you making?" I peer over his shoulder, but all I see is a loaf of bread and the beaten egg.
"French toast. You want a couple slices or not?"
"Yeah, I'll take some." I pick at the plastic fruit sitting in a basket on the island. "…Uncle Jason?"
"Yeah?"
"Before you met Aunt Kathy…who was….your first love?" I swing my foot that doesn't touch the ground.
"If I'm being honest with you, punk… your aunt was really my first love. I had other girlfriends, sure. But she was the one." He puts a slice of bread into a frying pan.
"…Did you ever date someone older?" I keep picking with the fake fruit.
"…What's on your mind, Demi?" I know he's serious when he calls me by my name.
"Nothing. I just…"
He flips the bread in the frying pan. "If something's going on, you can tell me. You know I'm here for you."
"There's just this boy. I have a crush on him, but he's older than me."
"How much older?" Uncle Jason puts a plate of four slices of French toast in front of me.
"He's nineteen." I pour some syrup over my French toast and grab my fork.
"That's tough. Um… as your uncle and your father figure, I'm gonna say no to that. He's too old…" He takes a deep breath and sits across from me with his own plate.
"We're not gonna date, Uncle Jay. It's just a crush. But I know he's too old."
"You're a good kid, punk. You really are." He pats me on my wrist. I like the fact that they don't think I'm a bad kid. I try not to be bad. I try to be good.
"Thanks. I try…" I finish eating. "Do you know if Aunt Kathy put my bathing suit in the wash machine?"
"I think she put it in there. Why? You leaving out again today?"
"Yeah. I'm going to the beach with my friend." I get up and put my empty plate in the sink. "Do you know what she went to get from the drugstore?"
"Some toilet paper and something to settle her stomach. She woke up feeling a little queasy today, so I'll be doing the cooking today."
"Is she alright?" I grab a Capri Sun out of the fridge.
"She's probably fine. I had that 24 hour bug last week. I might've given it to her."
"…So you said you'll be doing the cooking today. Should I order a pizza?" I laugh softly.
"….I planned on ordering out today anyway. We can't starve, can we?" He finally finishes eating.
I laugh again. "No, we can't starve. Make sure you get the pizza from Pizza Hut." I take his plate and put it in the sink too. There's a dishwasher, but I want to look helpful, so I hand wash both our dishes in the sink.
"Pizza Hut it is. Do you need a ride to the beach?" He pushes in both barstools.
"Yeah, actually I do. I told Selena I'd meet her there." I finish up the dishes and put them on the drying rack.
"What time you supposed to meet up?" He grabs a can of beer from the fridge and cracks it open.
"Around 1:00." I throw my Capri Sun in the trashcan and grab a cookie from the cookie jar.
"Go get dressed then. I'll take you a little early." He takes one sip of beer and puts it back into the fridge.
"It's only 11…. We have like two hours." I bite my cookie.
"Just go get dressed for the beach, Demi. It takes a while to get there, and I want to do something before we leave."
"Alright then." I shove the rest of the cookie into my mouth and go upstairs to the laundry room. The laundry room is in the room directly across from the bathroom. It always smells like dryer sheets and detergent in here. I open up the dryer and check it. Sure enough, my bathing suit is in there and it's all clean.
I take it back to my bedroom to put it on. I need to get a couple more bathing suits. I'm tired of wearing this one already.
I pull off my pajama pants and my pajama shirt and look at myself in the mirror. I take off my underwear too. I got a tan from yesterday. My butt cheeks are a lot paler than my back, and in the shape of my bathing suit, I have tan lines. I look at my chest too. My boobs are pale too.
This will probably sound weird, but I hate my boobs. They're so… weird looking. I'm comparing them to my sister's boobs, though. To say the least, Dallas has the body of a goddess. It must've skipped my generation.
Back whenever we were home, we used to lay out and go tanning together. When I say her boobs are perfect, I mean they're PERFECT. I remember I asked her how she got them to look like that one day. She laughed and said that it was just genes. She told me that my boobs were fine, but I still think they're weird looking. I have little pink stretch marks on them, which means they're growing. I won't complain about that. I really miss my Dallas. I'll call her a little later.
I put my bathing suit on and a pair of black basketball shorts. I don't think my uncle will have a problem with me walking out in just my suit top, but if he does I'll just put on a tank top. It's no big deal. I grab my cell phone, slide on my flip flops and grab a beach towel. I shut my door as I leave. I really miss Jorge biting at my ankles as I try to leave.
I run down the steps. "I'm ready, Uncle Jay."
He slips on a pair of sandals too and grabs the car keys. "Let's go."
We both walk outside the house and oh my god, it's SO hot out today. It has to be at least 90 degrees. I walk to the big black Escalade that belongs to my uncle.
I walk to the passenger's side of the car and so does my uncle. "What are you doing?" I ask him. We can't both ride in the passenger's side.
"What are YOU doing, punk?" He doesn't even move.
"We can't both sit in the passenger's side, dummy." I say with a laugh.
"Right. One of us has to drive." He holds the car keys out to me.
"….Are you shitting me?" Oops. That just slipped. Whoops.
"Watch your mouth. And no. I'm not "shitting" you. Drive me to the liquor store. I need to grab another case of beer."
I take the car keys from him. "I don't know where the liquor store is…"
"I'll tell you where it's at. Just drive me there. You're sixteen. Time for you to drive." He gets into the passenger's seat.
I get in the driver's seat and adjust the seat so that I can see over the dashboard. I buckle my seatbelt.
"Is this your first time driving?" Uncle Jason turns on the air conditioning in the car.
"My dad taught me a little bit before mom got sick… I know a little bit." I put the car in reverse and back out of the driveway perfectly.
"Alright. I'm just gonna let you go. Drive down this road until you see the first intersection."
I do as I'm told and drive at a reasonable pace down the road. I'm not a bad driver. My dad taught me a little bit before mom got sick. After mom got sick, the driving lessons just stopped.
Maybe I'll get my permit now.
"Not a bad driver, punk. A little bit of a speed demon, but you did good. I might actually have to talk to Kathy about getting you a permit and a car." Uncle Jason says.
"Let's just focus on the permit first." I mutter. We both get out of the car in the parking lot of the beach.
"Here's a few dollars to buy something here if you want. Call me whenever you're ready for me to come get you. Be safe, punk." He reaches in his pocket and hands me twenty bucks.
I put the money in the pocket of my basketball shorts. "Thanks, Uncle Jay. I'll call you." I put my towel over my shoulder.
"Alright. See you later. Love you, punk." He gets back into the car.
"Love you too." I sigh and put my sunglasses over my eyes. He drives away and I start walking to the entrance of the beach. I reach in my pocket and grab my phone. I dial Selena's number and put the phone to my ear as I walk along the boardwalk. The beach is really nice. The sand is really bright and white. The water is really clear too. It's really pretty.
All along the boardwalk, there are little huts and stores to buy things. Mainly ice cream is being sold though, but some kind of cinnamon almonds are being sold and that's all I care about because they smell like donuts. They smell so good.
Every so often, there's a pole with a speaker attached to it. The speakers play loud music. It's really nice to look at the scenery.
"Hello?" Selena answers the phone.
"Hey… I'm here. Are you here yet?" I ask.
"Yeah. I'm at Rita's on the boardwalk. You know where the Rita's is? Just keep walking until you see it."
"Okay…" I sigh and hang up. It's so damn hot out here.
I walk through a few crowds of people and keep an eye out for the red, green and white flag. They have Rita's back in Texas, so I know what it looks like. About six buildings down, I see the Rita's station. I walk into it to find Selena. I like how it's shaded. I needed some shade.
"Demi!" I hear Selena call me. I turn around to the direction her voice came from and I see her. She's sitting down at a glass table eating some kind of ice cream that's in a green cup.
I walk over to her a little bit fast. "It's too fucking hot." I sigh and sit across from her. I put my sunglasses on top of my head.
"It really is too hot out here." She laughs and pushes the cup of ice cream in front of me. "You can have the rest if you want it. I'm tired of it."
I look into the cup. "What is it?"
"Chocolate frozen custard with KitKat pieces in it. It's good, I'm just sick of it."
I pick up the spoon and eat some. It really is good. "I'm surprised Nick isn't here." I comment.
"He's coming a little later. They have to watch the younger brother so they're bringing him to the beach."
"Who's they?" I eat more of the frozen custard.
"Nick's brothers. Joe, Kevin and Frankie."
"There's more of them? I thought there was only Nick and Joe."
"Oh no. Kevin's the oldest. Joe's second oldest. Then there's Nick and then Frankie."
I finish off the custard and push the cup away from me. "Learn something new every day."
"Yeah, and if everything's normal, Danielle will be with Kevin."
"Who's Danielle?"
"Kevin's girl. You think me and Nick are inseparable? You should see Kevin and Dani." Selena throws away the cup the custard was in and we both stand up to go back outside.
"So everyone's going to be all cuddly with their boos?" I laugh and walk outside back into the scorching sun with Selena.
"Everyone except you. I don't think Joe has a girlfriend, but he might have to work so he probably won't even come." She laughs too.
"I hope he does come."
"Joe?"
"Yeah. I hope he does come. I like talking to him."
"…Do you like him? You're totally blushing right now, Demi."
"…It's just a little crush. He's too old for me."
"Chase the dream. CHASE THE DREAM!" Selena laughs.
I laugh too. "What about Cody?"
"All I have to say about that is if you're gonna be a player, don't get caught."
"I'm gonna stick with Cody. I just have a crush on Joe. It's like the crush we all have on Carrison. We think he's cute, but we know there's no way in hell we'd date him."
"Yeah, but I think Joe's single." Selena looks at me with a sneaky little look.
I punch her softly in her arm. "Just shut up."
"I'm just saying!" We both turn a corner to walk down the steps of the boardwalk and onto the sand of the beach. We walk down the flight of six steps.
"When did you and Nick start… doing it?" I ask as we walk to find the perfect spot to lie our towels down.
"What do you mean when?" It's clear that she doesn't mind my asking.
"Like… how long did y'all date before you started doing it?" I put my big purple and white towel down in the sand and sit down.
She sits down next to me on her plain pink towel. "I think we dated for like… four months before we did it for the first time. Maybe five months. And at first, it was only like… once a month. Now, we'll do it like… three times a week. Three times a day, sometimes."
"THREE TIMES A DAY?" I exclaim.
She laughs at my reaction. "It's not that much, Demi. Like… we'll do it. Take a break. Get bored. Do it again."
"Oh… but like… aren't you afraid of getting pregnant?"
"I'm on birth control pills. And he uses condoms all the time." She plunges her feet deep in the sand.
I grab a handful of sand and dump it back and forth between my hands. "That's really… cool. Like… you guys' relationship is probably stronger because of it."
"It is. It's not like I'm a slut or anything for it. I've been having sex with Nick since my fifteenth birthday. So a little over a year. And I haven't slept with anyone else besides him."
"That's nice." I sigh and keep playing with the sand.
"How old were you when you had sex for the first time?"She picks through the sand too.
I think about lying to her. I should just tell her I had sex with my ex boyfriend. It'd make me seem a lot cooler. "I haven't really…" I'm a little bit embarrassed.
"You're a VIRGIN?!"
"SHHH! SHHH!... keep it down…" I motion with my hand for her to shut up. I don't really need to feel any worse about it.
"I'm sorry. But.. you are? I didn't even… you don't seem like you'd be one." The look on her face says it all. She's SHOCKED.
"Please don't tell anybody. But yeah… I am. I mean, I want to. But I could never find a guy to do it with…" I don't even look her in her face. I'm too ashamed of myself. I really should've lost my virginity a long time ago.
"I can think of a dozen boys in our class alone that'd fuck you." She mutters.
"…But that's different. I want… a boyfriend to do it with. Like you and Nick. I don't just want a one night stand."
"I know what you're saying. I was so scared that me and Nick's was just gonna be a one time thing." She flips her pretty hair. "…So you haven't done ANYTHING with a boy?"
"Not exactly. Like… I've made out with a guy. That's all." I wish we'd stop talking about it. It's not getting any less embarrassing.
"Nothing?" She's very shocked and I don't even know why.
"Nothing." I sigh.
"Never given a hand job?"
"No."
"Been eaten out?"
I shake my head.
"Been fingered?"
I shake my head again.
"Given head?"
"Oh god, No."
"Wow… so you haven't done… anything?"
"I said I haven't. I haven't done anything. I really want to…." I sigh again. I look off into the distance. The waves are coming in pretty hard.
"Do you know anything? About sex?"
"I know a lot about it. I know everything. Just not what it feels like." I throw a small rock.
"So like… you've been wet?"
"How do you mean that?" I'm cringing so bad, but it's nice to have a girlfriend to just talk to about these things.
"You know… like… when you want it. You get all wet down there."
"Yeah. I've been that…yesterday I was." I laugh a little bit at myself.
"…You're gonna get laid before the end of the school ye—YESTERDAY? WHAT?" It took her a while to register what I said.
I laugh harder this time. "Yeah. Yesterday."
"WITH CODY? WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME?!"
"No, not with Cody. And…. I didn't know I was supposed to? Just come up to you and be like "Selena, I'm horny." That'd be weird!" I'm still laughing.
"…You could've told me! If not Cody, then what made you all…?"
"…Talking to Joe." I smirk. "I had a fantasy…"
"…All passionate and romantic and stuff?"
"SO NOT!" I shudder. "He just told me he was gonna get in the shower. And I had the urge to follow him."
"…So you don't wanna fuck Cody, but you wanna fuck Joe?"
I think about that for a brief moment. "Yeah, that's pretty much it. But I want to be in a relationship with Cody. Like… I want to be boyfriend and girlfriend with Cody. But I want the sexual part to be with Joe. Make sense?"
"…You're the sluttiest virgin I know. I think you lied to me. I don't think you are a virgin."
I roll my eyes. "Whatever. So yeah, I hope Joe comes. I wanna talk to him."
"Here, I'll call Nick right now." She takes out her phone and dials a number. She puts it on speaker.
"Hullo?" Nick answers. He sounds like he's eating.
"Hey babe. You guys still coming to the beach?"
"Yeah, we're actually here. We're up on the boardwalk getting hot dogs. Frankie was hungry."
"Okay. We'll be up to meet you. Who's all with you?"
I listen to this part. I really hope Joe's with them.
"Danielle, Kevin. Joe's here. Me and Frankie."
Selena looks at me with a smile. I smile back, happy that he's with them.
"Alright babe. Stay at the hotdog place, we're coming up to meet you."
"Wait, who's we?" Nick asks.
"Me and Demi."
"Demi's with you?"
"Yeah. We've been sitting here for like… an hour."
"Hmmm." Nick sounds like he's trying not to laugh.
"Hmm what?" Selena asks.
"Nothing… just come meet us." Nick hangs up fast.
I stand up from the beach towel and take off my basketball shorts. "I wonder what the Hmm was for…" I say.
"Me too. But I'll find out for you." Selena takes off her pants too and we both walk back to the steps to go up on the boardwalk.
"Is your hair just naturally that curly?" I ask. I've been wondering that for a while.
"Yeah. You should see it when it gets wet and dries. It's horrible. Is your butt naturally that big?"
I laugh. "No, I got injections." I joke.
"Oh really? I've been thinking about getting them too." She jokes back.
"They take a few weeks to set in." I chuckle. I'm actually having a lot of fun.
"Shut up, Demi." She flips her hair again.
Watching her flip her hair makes me realize that I'm about to see Joe. I want to look my best. I fix my bathing suit up to give myself more cleavage and pull my hair out of my ponytail.
"Oh my god, Demi. Your hair is so pretty. How do you get it to be so wavy?" Selena stops walking to touch it. She fixes it so that it's hanging at my sides and covering my boobs.
"I just… wash it. And don't do anything to it. It gets wavy, I guess." I shrug.
"I wish I had your hair."
We start walking again, and we finally turn into a red shack that sells the hotdogs. The hotdogs smell so good. But I left my money under me and Selena's towels. Damn it.
We greet Nick first, because he's not standing with all this brothers. He's in only his swimming trunks.
"Hey babe." Selena gives him a hug and a brief kiss. Nick smiles and holds her. The way he looks at her is so incredible. He looks at her like she's the sun in his universe.
"Sup, Demi?" Nick waves.
"Hey." I wave back. I follow them over to a corner where a bunch of people are sitting and eating. One of those people is Joe.
Nick and Selena hold hands the entire time and I tag along behind them.
"Hey Lena." A tall guy says. He has the same curly hair as Nick.
"Hey Kev. Hey Dani. Frankie and Fathead." She smacks Joe in his head. He doesn't retaliate. "This is me and Nick's friend, Demi."
I wave to everyone and smile. Joe doesn't even look at me. That kind of hurts my feelings.
Nick sits down and Selena sits on his lap. There isn't enough room for me to sit down. And Joe still hasn't looked at me. I don't know why it's hurting my feelings, because we don't even date or whatever.
"Dems, you can sit on my lap." Selena offers. She glances over at Joe. "Or you can sit on Joe's lap. Take your pick." She smiles sneakily but I really want to smack her for doing that.
"I'm fine with standing." I sway back and forth.
"Joe, stand up and let her sit down. Be a gentleman. You're done eating." A very pretty girl says. I assume that she's Danielle. She has light brown hair and really tan skin. Her nose is a little bit big, but it suits her. She's gorgeous.
"I don't want to stand up." Joe murmurs. Why is he being so… irritable? He seems angry or something. The two times I talked to him, he never seemed like this.
"I'm fine. Really, I am." I say. I don't want to cause an argument or anything.
"Are you the new girl that Nick's been telling mom about?" Kevin asks me.
I nod and smile. "Yeah. I'm from Texas." I twist my hair around my finger.
"That's cool. Is it a big change?"
"Um… yeah. It's a lot hotter here in Florida. In Texas, it got cooler, but it was just humid. It's hot here." I keep swaying on my feet.
"You get used to the heat. Are you in all of Nick and Selena's classes?"
"Not all of them…." I keep playing with my hair.
Nick and Selena both stand up. "We're going to go to the beach now. Kev, do you and Dani got Frankie?"
"Yeah, we got him. Go have fun. We'll be down in a little while."
I follow Nick and Selena as they start walking back down to the beach. I feel a little weird. I already knew that my crush on Joe was only one way. But today really just proved it.
"So… Nicholas… what was that Hmmm on the phone about?" Selena asks Nick as she looks back at me. She knows that I still want to know.
"Nothing. It's wasn't even that serious." Nick says. He's smiling a little.
I remain quiet and just walk.
"Well, me and Demi want to know what the Hmm was about…"
"I can't tell you that. It slipped out." He shakes his curly, shaggy hair.
"I'll find out eventually. So you should just tell me." Selena badgers him.
"…Okay, okay. But if you tell anyone, I will kill you. Because he'll kill me."
I listen. It sounds like he's gonna tell us.
Nick reluctantly starts speaking. "After y'all left my house last night, I stayed up with Joe and played Madden on the PlayStation. He started asking me a bunch of questions about Demi. I think he thinks she's hot or something. And the Hmmm was because I didn't know that Demi would be here. That's why Joe was so pissed off at the table. Cause he didn't know she was coming."
I smile a little bit. He thinks I'm cute?
"See, Demi! I told you!" Selena squeals and jumps on me, happy.
I smile. "He doesn't like me though."
"Woah, you like him?" Nick asks.
"No… I don't. I just think he's hot."
"Don't get your hopes up or anything. He told me last night that he thought you were pretty cool but you're too young for him."
"…He did?" I sigh. But I already knew this.
"Yeah. He said specifically, 'She's a pretty cool kid. She's cute and all but she's way too young. She's still in high school.'"
We all walk down onto the beach.
"…Nick? I don't get it…" I've been thinking this through, but I'm still lost.
"Don't get what, Demi?" He picks Selena up and puts her on his back.
"….If he thinks I'm cute… then… why was he mad that I was coming to the beach? Does he not want to see me?"
"I don't know why he's pissed. He's Joe. He's moody. Don't let it ruin your day."
"Okay…" I follow them both into the ocean water. There are so many couples here. I'm all single and lonely standing here in the water by myself. Nick and Selena went really far in the water. I don't want to go too far.
I don't get boys. If Joe said that I was cool and stuff, then why was he so angry with my presence? Maybe he really doesn't like me. I don't think it matters to me, though. If he doesn't like me, I can still have a crush on him.
I hear someone whistle really loud in the background. I turn around to see who or what it is. I don't see anyone.
I hear the whistling again.
I turn around again and look. Is someone whistling at me?
Confused, I just turn around and watch Nick and Selena goof off in the water. I hear the whistling again, but I ignore it.
"You're looking damn good in that bathing suit. You wanna show me what you look like out of it?" A man's voice says to me. The voice sounds older, like a middle-aged man.
I turn around slowly. I'm a little bit… disgusted? I found out who was whistling at me and who said that. Some big, broad tattooed guy with grayish hair. He looks like he'd ride a motorcycle.
I give him a polite smile and turn back around. Gross much?
The old guy whistles at me again when I turn around. Can he like… shut up? I'm about three seconds away from just freaking out on him.
Instead of just sitting here, I walk out a little further in the water, closer to Nick and Selena.
I hear water rustling behind me. I glance back really quickly and find that the creepy old guy is following me. I don't want to make him mad or anything by running away too fast, so I keep walking slowly out to where Nick and Selena are.
"Can't run forever, girl. I just want to know your name." He says to me again.
I'm about ten feet away from Nick and Selena now. I'm a little bit scared, to be honest.
"….It's Demi. Now… leave me alone."
"You got a real pretty name. Matches your pretty face. What's a pretty girl like you doing here at the beach alone?"
"I'm n…ot."
"You don't seem too comfortable in that bathing suit. Why don't you just come out of it?"
"I'm alright in—"
"Hey babe. Miss me?" Someone interrupts me. Whoever it is walks behind me and grabs my waist. I'm about to flip OUT.
I suck in a breath to scream. "Get off m—" I turn around to see who it is and then I relax. It's Joe. He's holding me tightly, too. He has his arms gripped around my waist and his chest against my back. He's holding me like I'm the reason he's on the ground.
"Come on, babe. Let's go with Nick and Selena." He winks at me with a hard look on his face.
Okay, I get what he's doing. "Yeah, let's go."
Joe picks me up and lets me wrap my legs around his waist. I look back that the creepy old dude. He's busy looking at Joe and Joe's muscles. I guess he decided to just stop trying.
Joe carries me over to Nick and Selena. "Get off me, Demi." He says through clenched teeth.
"..Sorry." I take my legs from around his waist and get off him.
"Can't you just thank me and shut up?"
I'm confused…"Um… yeah. Sorry… and thanks…"
"Why didn't you just tell him to fuck off? I should've let him rape you." He shakes his head. "Then maybe I would've had a right to fuck him up." He mumbles the last part. His face is so red that it's scary.
"….If you…. If you hate me so much, then why didn't you?" I don't like his attitude. Fuck this.
"Why didn't I what? Let him take you and do whatever he wanted with you?" He's calming down a little bit.
"Yeah! Then maybe you wouldn't regret it so much."
"You really think I hate you?"
"I can see that you do! If you do, at least tell me. Instead of talking to me one day then being a complete dick the next."
"I knew you were young, but I didn't think you were stupid too." He laughs sinisterly. I want to punch him in his mouth.
"I'm not stupid!" I'm really getting angry.
"Then why do you think I hate you? If I hated you, I'd just let the sick fuck have his way with you."
"You're confusing…." I shake my head, annoyed. "Do you want to be nice to me or do you want to treat me like shit? Make up your mind, pizza boy."
"There's a difference between treating someone like shit and being annoyed with them."
"WHY ARE YOU ANNOYED WITH ME? I didn't even do anything to you!"
He sighs and pinches the bridge of his nose. "I'm not annoyed with you. I'm annoyed with… something else."
"Whatever. Fuck you." I turn around and walk away. I really meant that. Fuck him. Yeah, he's hot but he's not gonna treat me like this.
"Wait!" He says and runs to me fast.
"WHAT NOW?!"
"Stop hollering, you'll lose your voice." He puts his hands on my shoulders and forcibly turns me around so that my back is facing him.
"Get off me, Joe."
"Shut up, Demi." He unties my bathing suit top around my back.
"WHAT THE HELL!?" I scream.
"hush! Would you rather me see your open back or the whole beach see your knockers?" He ties the ties around back really tight. "They were coming undone."
I sigh. "Thank you."
"You're welcome." He gives me that dazzling, perfect white smile again.
Fuck. My bathing suit bottoms are wet again, and not because I'm in the ocean. Stop smiling at me like that.
"…So is it okay for me to make the assumption that you care?" I hold my bathing suit top on while he ties the strings around my neck.
"…What makes you say that?"
"You saved me from the old guy. And now you're keeping my bathing suit on."
"I don't like for what's mine to be messed with." He mutters.
I didn't really hear him. "What?"
"Nothing. Yes. I care." He finishes tying the strings. "Do me a favor."
"What do you want?"
"I don't care how much I'm getting on your nerves. Don't go anywhere without me."
"Are you my bodyguard?"
"Precisely."
"Okay. On one condition."
He rolls his eyes. "You're difficult." He sighs. "What is it?"
"You have to be nice to me."
"…Deal. Just don't get out of this water without me."
"You're not being nice."
He sighs. "Demi. Don't get your skinny little ass out of this water without my knowledge, PLEASE?"
I glare at him. "Fine."
I won't get out of the water without him knowing.
I'm scaring myself, because I'm not just thinking of him in the sexual way. I'm thinking of him in the relationship way.
I should probably stop myself from thinking about him like this.
But I don't want to.
I like it.