Toaru Shinzō no Dokidoki

A Pounding of the Heart

It was late at night in the Tokiwadai dorms, shortly before curfew but shortly after Misaka had returned, that the door opened and a clearly exhausted Kuroko walked in. "I'm home," she said with a smile.

"Welcome back," Misaka answered as she lay on the bed reading a book.

Kuroko went to the closet and searched around for her medicine box. She teleported it into the bathroom then pulled out a towel from the pile of them stacked neatly in the closet and went into the bathroom herself. She took her medication then teleported the box back to its place in the closet and began undressing. She had already changed out of her exercise clothes and was back in her uniform, which she proceeded to take off a piece at a time, depositing them in the laundry hamper. Then she undid the ribbons in her hair and placed them gently in the case she stored them in every night before bed. Side by side one could see the slight difference between the two ribbons. One of them was clearly newer; this was one of the pair she had recently received as a present from her Onee-sama. The other was quite old, but it was so well taken care of that the age didn't really show. It was one of her original ribbons that she had been wearing for years now.

Though she had loved her Onee-sama's present and wanted to wear both of the ribbons all the time she couldn't. The other pair was just as significant to her. They too had been a gift, a gift from the person who had saved her four years ago. Before then she had never wore ribbons but he had given her two pairs, her red ones that she wore during summer and spring and white ones she wore during winter and autumn, as a consolation and told her that they would look good on her. She had worn them ever since. Since both the pair she received from her Onee-sama and the pair she received from that man were equally important she had decided to wear one from each pair at once.

With that done she took a shower. After that she draped herself in a small towel and walked out of the bathroom, placing the case with her ribbons on her desk she took a seat in the chair and began brushing her hair.

Misaka found her gaze wandering to the other girl, observing her shoulders and upper back where the towel did not cover. She watched with a sense of what could be called... fascination.

The first few times Kuroko had "revealed herself" to Misaka had been deliberate actions by the other girl to "excite" her so she had seen it as nothing but an annoyance at first, coupled with a feeling of embarrassment for the other girl's lack of shame. Later, just after the Queen incident and their formation of their relationship, when Kuroko had done that stupid apron thing she had been far less annoyed and more embarrassed than before. Her anger and annoyance at the younger girl's advances had always been, at least partially, the confused feelings that such actions caused, when she admitted that those feelings might be love those emotions of rage calmed, replaced by even more embarrassment that such displays did, and always had in a sense, excited her.

But ever since Kuroko's sickness when she had first seen the state her body was in at the time, the excitement, which had never been that great in the first place, was eclipsed by concern and a morbid curiosity. It was strangely interesting to watch her move with just the towel on, watching the muscles of her shoulders move. She saw the hesitation and caution in her movements that suggested severe soreness and fatigue.

Misaka figured that she must be in pain; that much she could tell by her heartbeat. Even from this distance the rhythmic firing of nerves was clear to the electro-master. Normally when she brushed her hair her heartbeat fell into a lower, calmer rhythm, like she was sleeping or meditating. But now it was slightly faster than normal, maybe 2 or 3 beats per minute faster. This suggested that her body was still under strain despite the fact that she was now resting. Misaka unconsciously drummed her fingers in time with the beat. B-Ba Bum she tapped the odd triple beat that was unique to her girlfriend. She had often wondered what caused the delay between the right atrium and the left atrium that produced the asymmetrical rhythm, but she doubted the other girl would even know what she was talking about, let alone the cause of it. Misaka liked to think that the delay was caused by her heart actually having two sides to it much like her personality, the headstrong side of Kuroko rushing forth while her cautious side waited until it was sure it was ok.

Kuroko had always been a girl of two sides. Her name itself showed the odd duality that permeated so many parts of her personality. The duality actually suited their relationship well. Unlike most people, Misaka could handle the radical shifts to personality that the teleporter went through so often, and even returned those changes with some of her own. The perfect, mature, and lecherous face that Kuroko wore most of the time suited Misaka's tsuntsun side well while the younger girl's fragile, vulnerable, and more affectionate face that the electro-master, almost exclusively, was privy to, suited her deredere side perfectly.

In this sense the two were perfect for each other. Everyone has many sides to them but the fact that their various sides fit together so well that they almost automatically changed when the other changed suggested a unique and valuable bond between the two. Kuroko knew about this bond, she had known about it since just after their first meeting and it was part of the reason she had decided that she loved Misaka. The older girl herself was not consciously aware of the bond, though she felt its effects just as strongly, or perhaps even more so.

B-Ba Bum, B-Ba Bum, B-Ba Bum. Misaka watched as Kuroko's shoulder muscles began cramping tightly. It must have been be painful, but, as always, Kuroko showed no sign of pain. A couple weeks ago she had wondered if Kuroko was actually capable of pain, having seen so little evidence of it that she had truly begun to doubt she did.

Now she felt differently. She still remembered the whimpers of the younger girl when she had been sick. She had been so vulnerable then, in pain and totally paralyzed... so afraid that she had been almost completely reduced to tears the second the older girl let go of her, afraid of being left alone for even a second. Normally Kuroko hid her fear even better than she hid her pain, such that nobody would think she was afraid of anyone.

Misaka knew better though, she saw Kuroko during her nightmares; she had felt how tightly the younger girl had clung to her that day. Much like the pain it was hard to see and Misaka could only guess how afraid she was every day without a single sign to betray this fear, but she knew that at least she was aware of some of it, more than most people for sure. Of all people Misaka thought that she knew Kuroko the best, except perhaps Kuroko's own parents.

The older girl stood up and walked over to her roommate, then she placed her hands on the other girl's shoulders. Without a word she began to massage them gently.

Misaka did not want her girlfriend to be afraid or hurting. She wanted the amount of pain that Kuroko showed to be the same as the amount she felt, she wanted her to be as free from fear as she appeared.

B-Ba Bum B-Ba Bum B-Ba Bum, the younger girl's heartbeat sped up the second Misaka touched her. "O-Onee-sama?" She said as she froze, confusion and surprise in her voice. Her head tilted slightly to be able to see the older girl.

"You look like you were training quite hard today, you look like you could use this," the electro-master said, getting quite embarrassed, "don't get me wrong or anything, this is a one-time thing and I'm not enjoying it…" she lied. In truth the feeling of the relaxing muscles beneath her fingers was actually quite pleasant; feeling the other girl react to her touches in such a way always gave her a feeling of power over the teleporter that was so difficult to obtain any other way.

Kuroko smiled at this and leaned in to kiss Misaka's hand gently, not wanting to repel her Onee-sama by doing anything more rash than that. After that she put down her brush, forgetting her soreness and pain completely as she leaned into the other girl's gentle caresses.

The teleporter's skin was still slightly wet with surprisingly cold water from the shower she had taken, but she was still quite warm despite the cold water. The warmth that radiated from her was further increased by the slight blush that adorned the teleporter's entire face and for a second Misaka understood how the other girl found her embarrassment cute.

Kuroko's skin was very supple and smooth despite how slim and battle worn she was. Normally it was hard to tell since her hands, lower legs and forearms were actually very callused and hard, probably from her martial arts. But the rest of her was as soft and huggable as a stuffed animal. She took very good care of her body to get it like this despite the strain. A shower of hers usually took 25 minutes as she applied 10 different types of lotion and other things to improve her appearance for Misaka.

Misaka knew that it was for her as well. When she had first met Kuroko her appearance had been far more unkempt, only when she had moved in had the change taken place, and it had been quite a noticeable one as well. They had both changed considerably since then, certainly due, in a large part, to each other's influence.

B-Ba Bum B-Ba Bum B-Ba Bum, Kuroko's heartbeat continued its quick pace but underneath Misaka's hands she was almost completely relaxed, her eyes were closed and her lips were pulled up in a small smile. Feeling that she was done but not quite wanting to separate from the other girl quite yet she picked up the brush that Kuroko had put down and sat back on the bed behind her, then she pulled the teleporter onto her lap and began brushing her hair for her. B-Ba Bum-B-Ba Bum-B-Ba Bum, Kuroko's heartbeat quickened another step as she let out a little gasp of surprise, but she didn't say a word, not wanting to shatter the sweet illusion.

Their position was enough to cause Kuroko's blush to deepen but it was still within Misaka's comfort zone. Brushing each other's hair was something that girls did for each other so it was friendshippy enough that Misaka was not too embarrassed to do it, though the close contact with such a scantily clad Kuroko did cause crimson to colour her own face. Ba Bum-Ba Bum- Ba Bum. She felt her own heartbeat speed up; the pounding in her own chest fell into time with the thumping of the teleporter's heart though of course the beats were still mismatched. To the electro-master that simple thing was almost as intimate as the contact, though in a far less embarrassing way. The hand that was holding onto Kuroko, wound about her waist, tapped out the rhythm.

Kuroko, meanwhile, was in both heaven and hell. She honestly couldn't believe that this was happening, she was a bit scared that it wasn't but she tried to be optimistic. Here she was, sitting on her Onee-sama's lap, so close she could feel the heat radiating from her chest… and she couldn't do a thing for fear of it all coming crashing down around her.

Misaka could feel Kuroko become more and more tensed. She was clearly trying to restrain herself, to hold back, and the electro-master was grateful for this, but as the younger girl grew even more restless she wondered just how long it would be until she finally broke. However Misaka tempted fate and simply continued brushing.

The teleporter held it in for another three minutes before it became too much. She rounded on the other girl and embraced her tightly. "Onee-samaaaa…" she whined in a voice Misaka found oddly adorable, it sounded a bit like a child whining about only being able to have one cookie from the full jar, "Stop teasing me… I'm trying so hard to control myself but you're making it so haaaard."

Misaka couldn't help but laugh at the desperation in Kuroko's voice. She never thought that Kuroko would actually be begging her to stop something like this. "I'm sorry. Thanks for keeping control though."

Kuroko just kept her face buried in Misaka's chest with her arms wrapped tightly around the electro-master's waist, trying hard not to do anything more than she was doing now. The older girl herself still had a hand around the teleporter's own waist, resting on the scars on her lower back.

Eventually the squirming girl in Misaka's grasp calmed herself down and Misaka spoke, her voice a bit solemn, "new bruises I see."

"Training," Kuroko responded simply.

"Yeah… you said as much earlier…" There was a pause before the older girl continued, "about what you said before… why? Why do you train so hard?"

"I told you… I'm talentless… I'm completely useless at everything unless I train hard to master it."

Misaka still had a tough time believing that. She had never really seen anything that the teleporter was not good at (other than respecting personal space and perhaps a few other social matters). How anyone could master such a wide array of skills at such a young age was amazing and slightly unbelievable and even more unbelievable that none of it was natural talent. The electro-master had always trained hard as well, always worked as hard as she could in order to get to the point where she was right now, but during the level upper she had been forced to admit that some people can't do the things she could do no matter how hard they worked, she had had to admit that most of her ability was due to talent, not hard work.

Whether or not she could accept Kuroko's words there was still another question, "why do you need to master so many things? Why do you try so hard to be good at everything?"

B-Ba Bum, B-Ba Bum, B-Ba Bum, There was a pause and Misaka was just about to speak up when Kuroko responded, "I don't really know actually. It could be several things… it could be a desire to be the best, it could be a want to be able to do everything by myself without relying on others," her grip on Misaka's waist tightened as her voice took on a sadder tone, "it could be because I feel like I owe it to others to be good enough… or maybe it's because I just don't like who I am and want to become better… so I don't have to be me," then her voice lightened up again as she kissed the older girl's cheek, "or maybe it's because I have someone like you to bring out my best."

For what must have been the thousandth time Misaka wondered what she had done to enamor Kuroko so. She wondered why the younger girl was so dedicated to her. She wondered why Kuroko thought she deserved such affection, and she wondered what more she could do to actually be worthy of it.

She hugged the teleporter and said; "good night Kuroko," then she kissed her forehead, "pleasant dreams."

"Pleasant reality," the other girl corrected with a great big smile.

B-Ba Bum, B-Ba Bum, B-Ba Bum. Ba Bum, Ba Bum, Ba Bum. The pair fell asleep to the gentle rhythm of each other's heartbeats.

Author's note: Sorry this took me so long, and sorry it is so short. holidays and all, plus lots of other work to do. Not only that but making a decently long romance-y chapter is damn difficult.

I decided to do one more romance-y chapter before I ended the Jericho arc in case I don't get a chance to do another before the story itself ends.

Coming Soon: The secrets of the Eye of the Gods revealed.