September 6, 2008
Dear Mom,
I made it through my second week of school, too. If the entire year goes off without a hitch like these first two weeks have, I won't mind school.
Today in school, there was a meeting for girls that are interested in playing basketball. I don't really want to play basketball, but Uncle Jason wants me to play something, so I went to the meeting with Selena. Apparently, Selena's very good at basketball. I probably won't be very good, but it's something to do. I still haven't decided if I'm really going to play yet.
I told you on Wednesday that I told Cody the situation. I told him that I didn't want to date him, but I wanted to be friends. He said okay.
At first, he was taking it really well. He still sat by me and talked to me in art class and geography. Then, in study hall today, Nick accidentally mentioned something about Joe and Cody got mad and left. Cody got REALLY mad.
When he came back, he called me a "bitch." I tried to tell him sorry, but he ignored me and called me a "hoe." I don't think I'm a hoe. I'm a virgin, how could I be?
It sounds bad, but I'm not really worried about it. I don't care about Cody as long as I still have Joe. Selena told me today that Cody goes to therapy. I don't know why, but he does go. I think that's why he misses one class a week.
Tonight, there is a home football game. Me, Selena and Nick are gonna go. I don't know if Joe's going to come, but I'll ask later.
Tomorrow, Aunt Kathy has a baby appointment. She asked me to go with her and I said yes. So tomorrow, I'm going to go with her. Then on Sunday, me and Uncle Jason are gonna go look at furniture for baby rooms. I guess my weekend is all booked up.
Aunt Kathy is making me eat something before I go to the game, so I have to go now. Everything is doing okay, for now. It worries me, because every time something goes right, something else has to go wrong. So I'm a little worried to see what's going to go wrong, but I'll fight through it.
Until next time,
Love always,
Demi.
When I finish writing my letter, I take my phone and walk downstairs. Aunt Kathy got food from KFC for dinner. She gets tired easily now that she's pregnant.
"The food is on the stove in the kitchen. It might need heated up, honey." I think she's sipping a cup of tea, laying on the couch. I'm not used to seeing her so lazy. She's usually really energetic.
"Okay." I go into the kitchen and grab a paper plate. I put a piece of chicken on my plate, along with some macaroni and mashed potatoes. I don't want a biscuit. I take my plate of good and walk into the living room.
"Where are you going tonight?" She asks. I can tell of the weight gain now that I look at her.
"Me and Selena are going to the football game. Afterwards, we're going to hang out at Nick's if it's okay with you." I'm chewing my food slowly.
"11:30 if you don't go to Nick's. 12:00 if you do."
"Okay." I swing my feet and finish off the macaroni. "Is being pregnant hard?"
Aunt Kathy laughs. "No, it's not hard. It's just tiring. Sorry I haven't been paying much attention to you lately, babydoll."
"That's okay." I finish my food, set the plate on the coffee table and grab my phone.
I've been texting Joe a whole lot lately. Every morning and every night, he never fails to text me "good morning" or "goodnight."
Last night was the first night we texted about bad stuff. I enjoyed last night so much that I go back and retread the texts.
Him: are you out of the shower yet?
Me: yes :b
Him: you spend a bunch of time in the shower
Me: i have to be clean!
Him: i like dirty girls ;)
Me: how dirty? :b
Him: you don't wanna know
Me: what if i do want to know...
Him: if you really wanted to know, I'd have to tell you.
Me: or show me.
Him: lets stick with telling.
Me: :( okay ;)
Him: what'd you do in the shower?
Me: shaved :)
Him: shaved what? ;)
Me: use your imagination.
Him: mmmmm ok.
Me: and?
Him: and what?
Me: what are you imagining?
Him: something yummy ;) ;b
Me: oh really? how yummy?
Him: idk but I'd like to find out. i wonder if im right.
Me: why don't you tell me what you imagined?
Him: i imagine that you shaved something delicious. and if im right about what you shaved, i won't have to worry about getting hair in my mouth ;)
Me: oooh. well i think you're right ;}
I click out of my text messages on that note. Last night was amazing. It sucks to know that I can't legally have sex with Joe, but the least I can do is talk dirty with him. I really just want to have sex with him. That's all.
I wonder what he's doing right now, though.
I open up the text messages and text him right now.
Me: helloooo?
He doesn't text back right away. He's probably at work, and I should go get dressed for the game anyway.
I get up off the couch and head upstairs to my room. I don't have anything blue and gold to wear.
So I grab a yellow lace undershirt and pull it on. And I put on a dark blue pair of shorts and slide on flip flops. I guess it's as good as blue and gold are gonna get.
I flop down on my bed and just wait until it's time for me to leave. My phone starts buzzing on the dresser next to me. I reach over and grab it. It's him.
I answer it. "Hello..."
"Hey, beautiful. How was school today?" He's so nice to me that it makes me want to cry.
"School was... School. Boring. What are you doing tonight?"
"I'm at the store until 6:30. Why?"
"I want to see you tonight...I miss you..."
"You'll see me later, Demi. I have to work, beautiful. I'm off tomorrow..."
I sigh, "But I really, really want to see you tonight!"
"You're being a brat."
"I know. But I just want to see you... Please?"
"...You know I can't say no to you." He chuckles. "What are you doing later?"
"I'm going to the football game. Can you go too?"
"What time is that?"
"7."
"That's pushing it. I'll get there around.. 7:30."
"Selena said that we'll go back to you guys' house after."
"That sounds good. Do you want to go out later or do you want to just hang out at my house?"
"I don't care. I just want to spend time with you."
"Alright gorgeous. I'm off my break, so I have to go. I'll see you later."
"See you."
We both hang up the phone. It's getting close to 6:00, so I'd better finish getting ready.
I love talking to Joe so much. He makes me feel really special.
I comb my hair out to make sure it's straight, then head downstairs. I can't wait to see Joe later.
"Demi, Cody said he's coming." Selena says as we walk through the gates of the stadium.
"Oh, great." I mumble. "He fucking hates me."
"He's just pissed that you don't want him. You want Joe." Nick chimes in.
"Speaking of Joe, how are you two?" Selena asks.
"We're okay. We don't date, but we're pretty... Flirty with each other."
"Have you kissed him?"
"Not yet."
"Y'all two are gonna end up fucking." Nick shakes his head and leads us down a flight of steps to the student section. The stadium is really, really nice. The field is all turf with the logo in the middle.
"We're not. Mainly because it's illegal." I grumble. I wish Nick was right.
"If you and Joe did have sex, you'd tell me, right?" Selena asks as we all sit down behind a group of people that sit at our lunch table.
"Of course I'd tell you. It probably won't happen. It's illegal."
"Who cares? The only way you'd get in trouble for it is if you told the cops."
"You think we could?"
"...If you did have sex with him, let me know what it's like to screw an older guy."
"His dick is probably huge. What if it gets like... Stuck or something?"
Selena cracks up laughing. I laugh too. "You're such a virgin." She shakes her head at me.
"I know it won't get stuck. But it'll probably hurt like hell."
"You use tampons?"
"Yeah."
"Then it won't be that bad. My first time with Nick wasn't horrible. We did it once and it was kind of sore and uncomfortable, but we did it again a couple minutes after the first and it felt sooooo good."
"I wonder if I'll bleed."
"I didn't."
"I won't tell him that I'm a virgin, though. He probably wouldn't do it if he knew."
"Most guys I've talked to said that virgins have the best..."
I shudder at that. Just the thought of me and Joe laying in bed, enjoying each other gives me the chills. "What's the best way to do it?"
"What do you mean?"
"To lose it. Like... What's the best way?"
"In a bed?"
"What position, smart ass." I roll my eyes at her and laugh.
"Oh! ...um... Whatever way the guy wants to. Nick and me did it regular the first time. Then the second time I was on top."
"...How do you think Joe would?"
"I don't know! Why don't you ask him?"
"I can't just ask him." I sigh. "But I do know that he wants to eat me out." I say kind of proudly.
"How do you know that?!"
"He told me. Last night while we were texting. He said that it would be yummy. So..."
"YOU DIDN'T TELL ME?!"
"It was late!" I'm blushing so hard. "What's it even like to... Get... Eaten out?"
She turns to me and puts her hand on my shoulder. "Demi. It feels SO good."
I sigh. "I need to do something. With my hormones, I feel like I'm about to just explode."
"Incoming." Selena mutters as she looks behind me.
I turn around too. It's Cody. He's wearing a school t-shirt with baggy basketball shorts.
"I'll fuck you. And it won't be illegal." He mumbles so low that I wasn't supposed to hear it, but I did. And I don't appreciate it.
I just roll my eyes and don't say anything to him.
"Forget about him, Demi. He's just a jealous faggot."
"I know." I click the home button on my phone and check the time. It's 7:01. The game just started.
Nick stands up with his phone pressed to his ear. "Yeah... Down. The second to last row. I'll come meet you." He hangs up. "I'll be right back, babe." He says to Selena.
"Where are you going?" Selena asks him.
"To meet Joe."
"He's early!" I exclaim. "I'm coming with you!" I jump up from my seat and follow him.
Selena follows close behind us.
We walk behind Nick as we go back to the gates we came through. I see him.
He's wearing a black cutoff shirt with the Nike logo on it and basketball shorts. He looks so fucking good.
"Joey!" I almost scream as I run toward him. I jump up on him and he catches me so that I don't fall.
"Hey beautiful." He's a lot calmer than I am.
"You're early!" I'm hugging him so tight around his neck that it's a wonder he can breathe.
"I know I'm early. I wanted to see you." He leans down so that I can get on the ground safely.
"Are y'all gonna kiss?" Nick asks with a goofy smile on his face.
"Shut up." I bark at him.
"It's easy. Like this." Selena adds her two cents in as she stands on her tip-toes and kisses Nick deeply on his lips.
"You two are pervs." Joe laughs and shakes his head. He's still holding his arm around my waist.
"Demi's too chicken to kiss a boy." Nick teases me.
"And Joe isn't man enough." Selena teases him.
I look up at Joe briefly and smile. He looks back at me.
I raise myself up on my tip-toes and Joe bends down slightly. Really carefully, we bring our heads together and we kiss.
"Boo! Do I have to teach you two how to kiss?!" Selena says. "You're supposed to use your tongues! Stop pecking each other!"
I know how to kiss somebody. I'm not a virgin with making out.
To shut them up, I open my lips up slightly. Joe forces his tongue inside my mouth and our tongues come together and have an all out war.
His breath is sweet. It tastes heavily like mint, but it's a sweet mint. Probably peppermint.
"Woo!" Nick claps.
Joe finally pulls away from me. He uses his thumb and wipes my mouth off. "You're a good kisser to be so young, gorgeous."
"Maybe I'm just good with my mouth." I wink at him.
"Let's go sit down." He holds my hand tightly and walks with me to our seats.
"You two need to just date." Selena shakes her head.
"You need to mind your business, sloppy ass." Joe says to her.
He sits down and I sit in front of him and lean between his legs. He starts playing with my hair.
"Let me know if you get cold. I have a jacket in my car." He stops playing with my hair and rubs his hands all over my shoulders as if he's trying to warm me up.
"I'm not cold. I'm hot." I'm picking with the thick hair that's on his legs and he doesn't care.
"Have some of my water. Here." He hands me a bottle of cold water.
I unscrew the cap and take a sip of it.
Selena leans over to whisper in my ear. "Cody's watching you two." She whispers.
I glance over at Cody. He is staring at me and Joe. He looks really mad.
"What's the matter?" Joe resumes playing with my hair.
"Nothing. Cody's just staring. He hates me for choosing you over him."
"What do you mean he hates you?"
"He called me a bitch and a hoe today."
Joe sucks his teeth. "I'll fuck his pansy ass up." He strokes the hairs on the back of my neck. "It's alright. I'm not like him. I can keep something good whenever I've got it."
I smile softly. "Can I have another?"
"Another what, beautiful?"
"Kiss?"
"Of course you can." He leans down and crushes his lips against mine again. His lips are so soft.
When he pulls away, he rubs my arms again.
"You're good." I smile up at him.
"I'm good? At kissing?"
"No. You're good. You don't have any hair in your mouth." I chuckle.
He laughs too. "You're a nut, you know that Demi?"
I lean back against him more. I'm so far between his legs that I'm sure I'm touching his dick. I just can't feel it.
"If I make you too hot, just let me know. I'll get up." I say as I grab his water and take another sip.
"I like you laying here."
"Why?"
"Because I know you're safe while you're here."
I smile again.
"...Plus I can see down your tank top. Your bra is cute. Any lower and I'd see your nipples, though." He laughs.
"You're such a fag!" I smack him on his legs.
"I'm sorry, gorgeous. I had to." He reaches down and pulls my top up for me. "Nobody else is gonna see them, though."
I don't think I care about what the law says.
I'm going to date Joe.