"Stop spinning the cup! Stop it, Joe!" I'm laughing harder than I have ever laughed in my life, and it feels good to have my stomach muscles hurt. "Stop!"

"Nope. You asked for it." He grips the wheel of the teacup and spins it faster. "You asked for it!"

"Stop!" When he turns it faster, I fall into him and land on his shoulder.

He laughs and stops turning the wheel. "The only reason I'm done is because the ride's ending."

The teacups are slowing down to a stop. The teacups are only the first ride we've been on, and they're already my favorite.

"You're such a jerk." I step out of the teacup and walk to the exit. There are a lot of people here, but I guess that was to be expected. It's Disney World after all.

"What do you wanna ride next baby?" Joe wraps his arm around me as we get back into the walkway of the park. "Whatever you wanna ride, we can ride it."

"Um..." I wrap my arm around his waist so that I'm closer to him. It's crowded and I don't want to lose him. "Let's go ride that..." I point to a big, brown rollercoaster that's off in the far distance.

"That's thunder mountain... You wanna ride that?"

"Mhm." I keep staring at it. It's so big that it seriously looks like it's scraping the setting sun.

"I went on that with Nick. It's a hell of a lot of fun. We have to walk to FrontierLand, though. Come on." He grabs my hand tighter and walks me in a different direction.

"Well where are we now?" I ask. It's probably apparent that I've never been to Disney World.

"We're in FantasyLand." He explains.

"Oh..." We keep walking. We walk past the Peter Pan ride and past the Dumbo ride.

Above us looms a brown sign held up with iron railroad tracks. It says "FrontierLand."

"If you see anything you want to ride on the way to Thunder Mountain, just let me know babe."

I look around. The park is so big that I can hardly even understand it. I've never been anywhere like this before.

"What's that?" I point to a water ride. The sign is made out of logs.

"Splash Mountain. We can get on it..."

"No... Not yet." I keep up with his stride.

"And... Here we are. Thunder Mountain." He stops and turns into an entrance that looks like it was carved out of the side of a mountain. "The line for this is never that long. But we can use our EZ passes."

I walk with him up a set of steps. The scenery is all so convincing. There is a bunch of old mining equipment behind a chain-link fence and the lights are flickering slightly. Little puffs of air shoot out from here and there. It's really cool, but kind of scary.

"In here, babe." He leads me through a separate entrance because we have EZ passes. I follow him closely, and we're standing in a line with about 30 other people. It's much shorter than the line for those who don't have EZ passes.

"Are you having a good time?" Joe turns to me as soon as we stop walking. He puts his hands on my waist in a way that blatantly suggests that we have a sexual relationship.

"Mhm. It's awesome..." I just look around. It's dark in our waiting area except for the flickering lights. "I'd love to bring Madison here. She'd love this..."

"...Who's Madison?"

"...She's my sister. My other sister. The little one."

"Oh..."

"Yeah." I look down and kick my foot.

"You must miss her. You never talk about her much..."

"Yeah, I miss her. But she's well taken care of with my dad."

"So you shouldn't worry." He moves his hands up my shirt and onto my bare waist.

"I don't worry as much as I used to." I rest my head on his chest while we wait.

He rests his chin on top of my head. "As soon as you hear an alarm sound, it means there's another train coming back to station. Do you want to sit in the front cart or the back?"

"Middle."

"Alright then we'll stay in this line." He rubs my back and kisses the top of my head.

As soon as he kisses me, the loud alarm blares. "That for us?" I look up and ask him.

"Yep." He lets me go and starts walking to board an empty cart. "You're lighter than me, so you have to get in after me... So I don't squish you." He climbs in the cart before me. I climb in after him.

"Is this ride scary?" I fumble with my seatbelt.

"It could be. If you're not used to it." He fastens both our seatbelts and pulls a bar down over our laps.

"Welcome to The Big Thunder Mountain Railroad. Please secure all loose items and keep hands in feet inside mine trains at all times. Please sit tight and enjoy your ride here on Big Thunder Mountain." Some random guy says over a PA system.

I look up towards the front cart. It's shaped like the front part of a train, with the smoke pipe and everything. All the carts are painted and designed to look like mine trains.

A ride conductor comes over and double-checks our seatbelts and bar. I'm getting a little nervous to ride this.

"ALL CLEAR! See you back here in approximately 3 minutes."

The train starts moving, and we immediately go into a dark tunnel. As we go into the tunnel, old western-style music starts playing. I'm a little bit scared.

Joe reaches over and holds my sweaty hand. "It's okay, babe. I got you..." He whispers to me. That calms me down a bit.

Once we're completely inside the dark tunnel, we make a very sharp left turn. So sharp that it jolts me into Joe. Now I see why I had to get in before him. The only sound is western music and the sounds of metal bats clinking against each other.

We go straight for a little while, but after the straight section, we turn right and the sound of clinking fills my ears. We're coming up a hill. On my side, I can see some old looking caves and caverns.

"Here it comes..." Joe warns me.

Suddenly, the clinking of chains stops and we're dangling for a while. Shortly, we're going down the hill.

"Joe..." I call his name, but my voice is lost amongst all the other screamers on the ride.

When we finish dropping off the hill, we're back out into the light of the sunset. On my right, I see another train with more riders on it. It's cool.

"You alright?"

"I'm fine..." This is fun. This is very fun. I was worried for no reason.

"You're gonna hop out your seat on this next part. Hold onto me." He instructs and grabs the thick part of my arm.

Scratch the teacups. This is by far my favorite ride.

But it's only my second, so I'm not sure.

November 2, 2008

Dear Mom,

Joe took me to Disney World, mom! DISNEY WORLD!

It was so much fun. We rode basically every ride in the Magic Kingdom. I can't pick a favorite, but if I HAD to pick one, it would most probably be Space Mountain. It was so neat to act like we were traveling through space. I'd like to bring Maddie back someday.

I wish Joe would've told me that he was taking me to Disney World, otherwise I would've brought some money with me. I only brought twenty bucks.

I don't think bringing money would've made much of a difference though, because Joe wouldn't let me pay for anything. He bought me a Monster's Inc. pillow, a blanket with Cinderella's castle on it, and all the refreshments I could want.

My favorite part of the evening was definitely eating in Cinderella's castle then watching the firework show.

I had a plate of roast beef for dinner. Joe and I shared shrimp cocktail as an appetizer. For dessert, we ate chocolate mousse. The dinner was real fancy.

After we ate, we stepped outside and watched the firework show that was lit off the top of the castle. I know it sounds cheesy, but Joe even kissed me under the fireworks.

I was beyond tired when we got back to the car. Joe could tell I was tired, and he reclined the chair for me. I curled up with my new pillow and blanket and fell asleep on the ride home.

Since I lived a fairytale last night, I think it's safe to say that Joe is my Prince Charming.

I'm feeling good mom.

I just hope it lasts.

Until next time,

Love always,

Demi.

November 3, 2008

Today, Aunt Kathy talked on the phone to someone down at the Behavioral Health Center. I think she's trying to get me a therapist.

I really don't think I need one anymore. I've been feeling a whole lot better, mom. Maybe it's because things feels me they're actually right.

Things feel right in my life, but I've learned to live with constantly being sad. I'm sad all the time, it just feels normal to me anymore.

It's getting easier to deal with the sadness, which is probably the most important thing.

As long as I feel okay, I don't feel the need to cut.

But if it makes Aunt Kathy feel better, then I'll talk to a therapist.

It could only help...

Right?

Until next time,

Love always,

Demi.