November 6, 2008
Dear Mom,
I'm grounded. Really, really... REALLY grounded. So grounded that I can't do ANYTHING, not even breathe. Today, I went to school, came home, ate dinner and was sent to my room.
Yesterday, Joe got into a pretty nasty car accident. He was rushing to come pick me up because he was late. He crashed into a light pole, and his car was totaled. Without telling anyone, I took the truck and went to the hospital to go see him. That's why I'm grounded.
Aunt Kathy wasn't going to ground me whenever I told her why I took the truck, but Uncle Jason wasn't hearing any of my excuses.
On the up side of all this, Joe's okay. I wouldn't know what to do if he wasn't okay, mom. I thought he was going to die. But he's not dead. He's okay. He got out of the hospital today. It sucks how I can't go see him.
Today in school, Carrison wasn't there. But it was okay, because Selena was back today. School was incredibly normal for today. I don't know if I can say the same about tomorrow.
Since I'm grounded, I've been reading the wallflower book that Carrison gave me. It's really good, and I'm almost finished with it. I have about ten more pages to go. I'll probably finish it tonight.
I guess I should go eat dinner and get ready for bed. Being grounded is so damn boring.
Until next time,
Love always,
Demi.
I don't even bother with locking my letter up in the box. My lockbox is way too full for any more letters.
I get up from my desk and just go downstairs. I'll probably be in bed within the next hour. Being grounded blows.
I walk into the kitchen where Aunt Kathy is. She's making dinner. Her belly is enormous now. It's not as big as it could be, but it's pretty huge.
"Hey kid. You feeling steak tonight?" She continues to sprinkle seasoning on pieces of meat.
"Steak is... Fine." I sit down on a stool.
"You tired of being grounded?" He flips a cut of steak and sprinkles the other side.
"Yes. And it's only been a day." I grab an apple out of the fruit bowl on the island and rub it in my hands.
"I'm sorry he grounded you kiddo. But the more I think of it, the more I realize that he's right about you needing to be punished..."
"It's not like I don't know what I did was wrong though. I would never do that unless it was an emergency like yesterday."
"I know you wouldn't, kid. But I can't go back on his word. We have to raise you together, and if he says you're grounded, I have to stick to it."
"Whatever. It's all bogus. You guys can punish me all you want, but when it comes down to it, you both would do the same exact thing if your boyfriend got in a wreck."
"Hey Demetria." She stops seasoning the steaks and turns around to look at me. "Drop the attitude. I'm on your side here. I'm not on his. So don't even put your attitude on me."
"...I'm sorry Aunt Kathy. I'm just so frustrated..."
"I know you are. I'd be frustrated too..."
"Like... He just came home today and I can't go see him. That's so annoying. But like... I love him, Aunt Kathy. Like what else was I going to do?"
She chuckles. "You love him? Is it love or is it puppy love?"
"See, I knew you were going to do that." I put the apple I was holding back into the fruit bowl. "I knew you weren't going to take me seriously."
"Demi, who am I to tell you if you love him or not? I think you're forgetting that your uncle and I met in our teens... We married young."
"I have to love him, Aunt Kathy. It's like... If I don't love him, then I don't know what this is. Because he seriously makes me feel like..." I hardly even realize that I'm talking to my aunt anymore. I'm just talking about Joe. "Like I'm the only one that ever mattered to him. Like no matter what happens, it'll always be us. Like I don't deserve to be loved by him. He makes me want to be a better person... And I know it's crazy... Because I'm only sixteen... But he's the only one that I'll ever want..."
"I believe you on that. I believe you. I was only seventeen when I met your uncle..."
"It's just crazy to me..." I put my head down. I probably sound like such a goof.
"...What time is it?" I hear the steaks sizzling on the portable grill.
I pop my head up and look on the stove. "It's 4:50."
"...How well can you keep a secret?"
"Pretty well..." I sigh.
"So well that if I hand you the keys... And tell you to be back by NO LATER than 8:30... You wouldn't tell your uncle on me?"
I smile huge. "I can keep that secret..." I nod.
"Go 'head then. NO LATER THAN 8:30, DEMI."
"Okay, okay, okay." I slide on a pair of converse.
"I'm serious, Demetria. If you come back ANY LATER than 8:30, I WILL ground you. And if you think your uncle is harsh, you haven't seen me angry."
"I won't, Aunt Kathy. I promise. I'll be back by 8:30." I hug her from behind, my hands resting on her swollen belly. "Thank you thank you thank you thank you!"
"You're welcome kid."
I grab the keys off the counter and almost run outside.
I get into my aunt's convertible and adjust the seat to fit my preference. Slowly, I back out of the driveway.
I really hope I surprise Joe. He's probably all sleepy and stuff, but he'll want to see me. Right?
I slow down a little bit as I near the driveway of the Jonas house. It's gonna be a little strange, because I don't ever really see Joe's parents, so I never formally met them, but I'll do anything just to see him.
I park on the street and get out of the car, locking it behind me.
I walk up to the front door and ring the doorbell just once. I wait for no longer than a minute before the door is answered for me.
Joe's mom answers it. She's gorgeous for a mom. She's short with a petite but pudgy figure. Her hair is curled and very dark brown, almost black. "Demi." She smiles warmly at me. "Nice to see you..."
"Hi, Mrs. Jonas... Is um... Is Joe.. available?" I tuck my hair behind my ear.
"He is, but he's a little out of it, honey. The doctor gave him some painkillers and they make him a little bit...loopy."
"Oh... Well... I mean... Can you just tell him that I stopped by?"
"You can go up to his room and see him, honey. He's okay for visitors... He probably really wants to see you anyway."
"Oh... Okay."
She steps aside and lets me inside the house. It's a little messier than the previous times I've been in here.
"Sorry about the mess, dear. It's been a little hectic since yesterday."
"Oh, it's fine." I slide my shoes off and go to the steps. I think I remember where Joe's room is.
"He's right upstairs in his room. Just go on in."
"Okay... Thank you." I start walking up the steps. It's quiet in here. I assume Nick, Kevin and Frankie aren't home.
I round a sharp corner and approach the only red door. I knock once then open it up.
His room is dark, like he was taking a nap. His bed is empty, but I can tell he was in it because the sheets are pulled back and messed up. On his dresser, there is a plastic mug with the hospital logo on it and a bottle of prescription pills.
"...Joe?" I call him. His room is big, but it's only but so big. There isn't many places he could be.
"I'm in the bathroom, ma." He calls back to me. He must think I'm his mom. He mustn't be expecting me.
I walk to the door of his bathroom and turn the knob. He could either be peeing, taking a crap or getting in the shower. The only one of those options that would make me uncomfortable is taking a crap, but if I love him, I gotta learn to love his shit too.
I open up the door and walk in. He's standing at the toilet, junk in his hand and peeing. Thank god he's only peeing.
"Demi? Hi baby..." He shakes his junk and puts it back in his pants. He washes his hands briefly at the sink and walks over to me. "Why didn't you tell me you were coming? I would've cleaned myself up..." He hugs me tightly and kisses my cheek.
"Don't worry about it." I kiss his cheek and rub his back. "You need to get back in bed." I hold his hand and lead him back to his bed.
He sits down slowly on his bed. I can tell he's in some pain. I help him get into bed and I pull his covers up for him.
"Thank you baby." He says to me. He gets comfortable then looks at me. "You look nice today, baby. You come from school?"
I look down at my clothes. I have on a pair of dark blue jeans and a pink shirt with flowers on it and a lace back. My hair is out and touching my upper stomach. "Oh... Yeah. This is what I wore to school today..."
"Come lie down with me." He pulls the other side of his covers back. "Come on..."
"I can't lie down in jeans..." I just sit down on his bed.
"Take em off then."
"...Alright." I unbutton my jeans then pull them off. I'm wearing a pair of black boyshort underwear that have a pair of lips on the front. I slide down in the bed with him.
"Your ass looks good in those underwear." He chuckles and holds his arm out to me.
Careful not to bump his stitches, I lie on him while he drapes his arm across me. "Good as in..."
"Good as in... I'd tear it up if I wasn't so sore right now."
"Can't do anything this week anyway..." I run my hand across his abs.
"Why not?" He puts his hand on my hip.
"Because I got my period this morning." I hold his hand.
"Damn." He shakes his head. "You have a tampon in?"
"Clearly. You'd be able to see a pad through these underwear." I play with his fingers.
"Does it hurt to have that in?" He seems curious. This is such a cute conversation. Cute in a weird way, though.
"No... Not unless I put it in crooked or something. Then it hurts..."
"Isn't it kind of like... Having a dick in there?"
"No. I mean, it's cotton. Two totally different things here."
"But it's the same concept, right? So like... If I put my fingers or something up there crooked, would it hurt?"
"I mean... No. Not really. That's different."
"How is it different?"
"Because I don't sit down on your fingers so it's not uncomfortable or anything."
"So like... Tampons are uncomfortable?"
"It's uncomfortable having something stuck up there all the time. But it doesn't hurt..."
"What if... I could fuck you all day? Like while you're on your period, just be your tampon the whole time."
I start to laugh. "That's so weird!" I laugh a little harder. "You'd have to be like... With me all day for a whole week. You'd have to carry me around and stuff."
"You act like that's a punishment." He laughs too. "Me just being stuck inside you all day... That's great!"
"Okay, but that's just weird! It won't be like sex... I'd be bleeding all day!"
"That's the only downfall..." He sighs like he's disappointed.
"You're so weird!" I shake my head. I love having strange conversations with him.
"Some people actually do have sex while the girl is on their period. I had a friend that wouldn't have sex unless the girl was on it. Ain't that sick?"
"That's disgusting!"
"Yeah, we're not friends anymore. He's was gross." He laughs softly at the memory. "...What's it like being on it?"
"It sucks. Like... Imagine bleeding from your penis all day. Just imagine that."
"Does it hurt at all?"
"No. Not unless you have cramps..."
"Do you have cramps?"
"A little bit..."
"Where do cramps hurt at?"
"Like... Right here." I point to right below my stomach, beside my hip where I assume my ovaries are. "And sometimes in my back."
He takes his hands and starts rubbing my body in the places I told him where I get cramps. "Does that feel good?" He's rubbing right above my crotch.
"Mhm." It feels very good. It's taking the barely there pain of my cramps away. I close my eyes. "...What's the worst pain a boy can have?"
"Kidney stones, I guess." He keeps rubbing me. "Oh, no. Wait... Blue balls. Blue balls hurts like shit."
"...What's blue balls?"
"It's like... When like... Okay say... Say you're having sex with someone and you don't get to cum. That's blue balls."
"It hurts?"
"Like a BITCH."
"You've had it?"
"Once."
"With who?"
"...You."
"WHEN?! I never gave you blue balls!"
"Yes you did... That night in the hot tub. When you were giving me a handjob and I tried to finger you..."
"I gave you blue balls?! I didn't... I'm sorry!"
"It's alright babe. I'm not mad at you. I still love you. I was in so much pain though. I didn't want to tell you about it..."
"I'm sorry... You shoulda told me." I kiss him on his lips. "I'll never give you blue balls again..."
"Don't be sorry beautiful. Don't be sorry." He kisses my cheek and holds me around my waist. "Demi nothing you do can ever make me really angry with you. Nothing."
"...I love you."
"I love you too. You're my baby. My baby girl."
I smile. "I like the sound of that." I move my hair out of my face.
"Your hair is beautiful, love." He strokes my hair.
"It needs cut..."
"I can only imagine the kind of hair our daughter is gonna have..."
"...Our daughter?"
"Mhm. Our daughter. We're gonna have a baby someday. And she's gonna be beautiful."
"You really think we're gonna get married?"
"Yes. I do. Because I know when I have a good thing. And I'm never letting you go. Never. I think that when love finds you, it's real. And when you find your soulmate, you've found your soulmate. I don't see myself falling out of love with you. I don't see it happening."
"I hope you're right..."
"I know I'm right." He starts kissing my cheek again.
Maybe I'm just a little naive sixteen year old, but seriously...
Marrying Joe sounds good to me.