November 24, 2008

Dear Mom,

It's finally thanksgiving! It smells so good in Aunt Kathy's house. She's making all the food for today.

It's going to be just me, Aunt Kathy, Uncle Jason and T.J. for dinner. Aunt Kathy said that it's always just them for dinner and not to take it personally because all the family comes in at Christmastime.

I know it's been a while again since I've written to you, and to be honest, it's mostly because I haven't felt the need to. I haven't cut in a week either, but I'm trying not to jinx it.

A few days ago, I went out to eat with Mr. Carrison and his wife. They really like me, mom. They made me sing for them, and they told me that I'm a really good singer. I think I might ask Aunt Kathy and Uncle Jason for a guitar for Christmas.

I saw my therapist yesterday. I think I'm starting to realize what it means to actually have a therapist. We talked for an hour straight and I actually did feel better when I left there.

I'm really sorry if the letters start coming fewer and fewer, but that should be a good thing, right?

Joe asked me if I wanted to come over to his family's house for thanksgiving dinner today. I told him that I would love to, but I have to have dinner with my family first.

Aunt Kathy and Uncle Jason have really been planning for T.J. I finally realize that all these babies are going to be coming in my life.

Selena is five months pregnant. Aunt Kathy is six. I think this is all just a big... Blessing.

I'm really starting to feel at home again. Like Aunt Kathy and Uncle Jason are mom and dad, and T.J. will be a little brother.

I still love you, mommy. Please don't think that I don't.

Until next time,

Love always,

Demi.

"DEMI! HURRY UP! WE'RE GONNA CARVE THE TURKEY WITHOUT YOU!" Uncle Jason screams up the steps. I'm in such an oddly good mood.

I run down the steps and dash to the dining room.

Aunt Kathy is busy making sure everything is heated up. Uncle Jason is beginning to cut the turkey. I take my spot at the head of the table where I always sit and wait for them to serve me my food.

"Do you want some of everything?" Aunt Kathy grabs a serving spoon.

"Yes please." I hand her my glass plate.

She piles the turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes, sweet potatoes, corn... All that good stuff on my plate.

I can't wait to eat. I grab a dinner roll and a butter knife.

"Here." Aunt Kathy puts my plate in front of me. "I made your mom's banana bread for dessert..."

"Ooooh." I coat my roll in butter. "Can't wait to eat it. I'll let you know if it's anything like mom made it."

"You do that." She chuckles and sits down next to me with her plate.

Uncle Jason grabs us all drinks.

We enjoy our dinner together.

"Joe, you should make Demi's plate for her." Denise hands Joe a plastic sectioned plate.

"Alright. Come on, babe..." Joe grabs my hand and leads me into the dining room. "You can sit next to me."

"Okay..." I follow behind him and sit down next to where he sets his own plate. "Nick and Selena coming?"

"Eventually they are. Nick's over Selena's eating first."

"Oh."

"Yeah. You like lasagna?"

"Yeah, I do... But where's the turkey?" I look around and I just don't see any of it.

"No turkey... We usually have turkey and ham for our Christmas. Our thanksgiving is all Italian food. It gets a little annoying..."

"Oh... I've just... Never seen that before. I mean, I spent one thanksgiving with my dad's side of the family. And they had a bunch of Mexican food but there was still turkey..."

"Yeah. It's a little annoying sometimes. My friends all eat turkey and stuff but we never do. It's kind of sad, but that's the price you pay for being Italian I guess."

"If you want some, you can come over to my house after we're done here. We have a bunch of turkey leftover..."

"I just might have to do that." He smiles. "Alfredo?"

"Yes... Where is everyone?"

He puts some Alfredo on my plate. "We make our plates one by one then we all eat together..."

"Oh."

"My family's a little weird."

"I'll say."

He laughs and kisses my cheek. "Love you."

"Love you too." I smile at him.

November 30, 2008

Dear Mom,

I know the letters have been very few and far between these days. I know this.

But the truth is... I don't feel the need to write much anymore. Everything seems to be going good with me. I don't want to jinx it though.

I think I'm definitely learning how to feel... Wholesome. I'm learning that everything may seem in shambles right now, but it will eventually be okay.

My thanksgiving was great, mom. I ate with Aunt Kathy and Uncle Jason at first, then I went to Joe's house. Aunt Kathy made your famous banana bread, and I have to say that she did a fantastic job. Of course, it's wasn't as good as yours.

I met Joe's grandparents and a couple of his cousins. His grandma really took a liking to me. She hugged me and called me "beautiful." Joe's family gets a kick out of the fact that I'm Italian.

Joe's grandfather also likes me. He said that I'm a pretty little Sicilian girl and that's what Joe needs.

Joe's cousins were the exact opposite. I don't think the one liked me, and the other liked me TOO much. Joe caught it too. We came back to Aunt Kathy and Uncle Jason's whenever the one started flirting with me.

I guess for the most part that I'm okay mom. I'm pretty okay. And I swear I'm being truthful.

I love you.

Until Next Time,

Love Always,

Demi.

December 1, 2008

Dear Mom,

I went back to school today from thanksgiving break. It was honestly a little bit boring. All my teachers except for my English teacher were absent. I guess it's taking them a while to get back from wherever they went on vacation to. I know that Carrison had to go to Virginia to visit Emily's family.

In other news, today, I cussed Bitch Amanda out. She made a remark about me and Carrison's relationship, and I told her that she was fat and annoying and that she should mind her own fucking business. I got detention tomorrow because of that, but it was very much worth it.

I realize that it's probably weird to see me and Carrison's relationship, but I swear it's nothing like that. I don't even feel for him in that kind of way, and I know he doesn't think of me like that either. We're only friends. He's more like a dad to me. Plus, I'd never cheat on Joe like that.

So, I've been counting down the days until Dallas gets here. She's flying down here on the 15th. I'm so excited to see her! She'll be here for two weeks before she has to go back to Texas. She spent thanksgiving with Maddie and Daddy. I'm glad that at least one of us was there for them. They're all flying down here to spend Christmas with us. Maddie and Daddy aren't going to fly down until after Christmas though. Daddy just isn't going to tell Maddie when Christmas is, because he doesn't want her to be sad about waiting to open presents until they get to Florida.

Christmastime in Florida is so much different than what I'm used to. Back at home, there's usually a little bit of snow on the ground. Here in Florida, it's still 67 degrees outside with the sun in the sky. This is odd.

Until Next Time,

Love Always,

Demi.

December 23, 2008

Dear Mom,

Sorry about the pause in writing to you. I've been enjoying my time with Dallas. She sleeps on the couch since the guest room is T.J.'s room now, but she doesn't mind. For the past few nights, she's been sleeping in my bed with me anyway. It reminds me of how it used to be whenever we were little when she sleeps with me.

I realize that not seeing Dallas everyday makes a big difference. I hardly recognized her when we picked her up from the airport, and I had seen her when I was in the hospital from Cody. Her hair is so long now, mom. It's so pretty. It's long and it's at least ten different shades of brown. And she's so skinny. Sometimes I wonder if the pretty gene passed me up, because Dallas is just gorgeous.

I'm about to tell you something funny. It's kind of a secret.

Yesterday, I took Dallas to the boardwalk with me and Joe's brothers plus Selena so that they could meet her. Kevin's girlfriend wasn't there, because she was doing something back at home, and Kevin was flirting so hard with Dallas. Me and Selena found it hilarious, but we're not allowed to tell Danielle because then she'd probably break up with Kevin. I told Dal that Danielle would beat her up if she caught them two flirting and Dallas said that she didn't want Kevin and if Danielle came at her the wrong way, she'd kick her ass. Me and Selena laughed so hard at that.

My friends seem to love Dallas, and I can't really blame them. Nick thinks she's hot. Joe didn't comment.

Dallas is thinking about moving to Florida. I think she's just talking and it won't happen, but I have a little bit of hope in my heart.

Anyway, I'm going to go now. We're going to help Aunt Kathy bake Christmas cookies.

Until Next Time,

Love Always,

Demi.