''It's easier to run
Replacing this pain with something numb
It's so much easier to go
Than face all this pain here all alone''
Easer to run - Linkin park

Family is something special.

The rest of the day just went by like an normal day. Nothing else strange happed. Sam followed his lessons, toke notes, listed to his teachers and laughed with his friends. It was just a normal day, but that changed when he walked home. His guts told him already that there where something wrong, no, not wrong but strange. He just couldn't put
his finger on it.

When he did arriver home and opened the door, the first thing he saw was nothing. The cote and shoes from John where gone. Without saying anything he walked to the table that stood in the large room. A note lay on it, he took it and read it. Sam, I'm gone for a drink with Gorden. Don't go outside. John. Sam frowned. Who was that Gorden guy and why didn't John tell him that he knew someone out here?

Sam turned around when he heard someone opening the door. Dean walked inside smiling. "Sammy! Your home, just like me! Hello little brother." Dean petted the head of his little brother. "How was your day, without your awesome brother around? "

"It was okay, I guess." Sam told him softly. "Why do you ask?"

"Can't a brother ask his geek little brother how his day was?"

"Yes, but your can't." He snapped before turning around. "And before you ask, dad did leave for a drink."

Dean cursed. "Damn, just when you need him, he decided to go on a drinking spree." He signed. "Do you know when he's back?"

Sam shook his head and turned back to Dean. "Why do you need him anyway?"

"I need to write a column with or about family. So thats why I need dad, I already tried to call Bobby but he didn't pick up. Or I am going to wait for dad or I call pastor Jim or Caleb or something like that.'' Dean grinned. "We will see how it go."

Sam looked down hurt. Off course Dean would first call Bobby, ever since last summer there where like father and son. That John came next in line, he understand to, John was Dean's hero! But where was he in the list? Didn't Dean like him anymore? Wasn't he family? You're not perfect. Dean doesn't like you, he is even ashamed of you. Look at you, even now your crying

He shook his head again. Shut up, shut up! You don't know where you talking about! Sam screamed in his mind.

I don't know, huh? I think I know better then you! You tried so much to be perfect and still Dean beat you in it. You will never be perfect and do you know why? Because your fat, a stupid fat wussy, thats what you are. But you can change that, she wanted to help you. Why don't you take the help and become perfect. Just like Dean. Maybe he wants to be your family again. Answered the voice again.

Sam snapped his head up to Dean. "You know Dean, I am family to!" Dean looked at him stupidly.

"Family you? Yeah right that I am going to write about my stupid ass little brother." Sam looked at him shocked and hurt, making Dean laugh. "Alright you don't need to be a drama queen about it, I while write something about you. Wait a moment..." He toke a pencil and a paper from his bag and sat down on the couch. "Okay, where do I start..." He started writing.

I will tell you all about my little brother, Sam or like I call him, Sammy or better know as Bitch.
He just turned fourteen, but he still acts like a little child sometime. Uh, I mean always. He never grow up. If dad gives me candy or a coke, he wants it to. Like I can have something for me own. He follow me around like hes a dog. It drives me crazy. I am a growing man I need private. To read a dirty magazine thats hidden in the bathroom where no one looks. I so hope dad doesn't read it, anyway, lets start about that. There, my dad and Sammy, are always fighting! About everything.
I know that Sam can be difficult and its hard for my dad but come on why does there fight... Sam takes everything to hearth and he just can't listen. Beside that he slacking off, he is started to get lazy (and fat). Yesterday I was watching TV and I wanted something to drink, so I asked Sam to get me coke, but that lazy ass said that if I wanted coke, I could get it my self. So lazy he his... he can't even get something for me.

Dean smiled when he read it for Sam. He never saw the tears in the eyes of Sam neither did he hear that Sam had left the room and was now walking outside. He still trough that Sam was listing to his story. So he kept on writing and reading.

No, jokes. Sammy is a good, smart child. He does everything for anybody, sometimes he does to many for my likening. When we where little there was a man that needed help by saving a kitten out of a burning house, you can't ask this from a kid, but the man still did. I was more shocked when Sam really saved that kitten, just because. Off course he gets in fights with dad, but he is a teenage and beside dad doesn't always win the price for being the best dad of the year, but he does his best, so it will be alright. I love Sam like he is my best little brother in the world. I am sad for him because he had to lose his mother without knowing her. He would never know what she liked or how she smiled, never! And still he never complain about it, he accepted it quicker then we did. Sam is also smart, scary smart. He just have to read it and he knows. Sometime it scares me! As last Sammy is always busy. He can't sit still. When he doesn't read or draw he is running or doing something. This is really pissing of my dad, but thats just Sammy. The little bro I loves.

"So what do you think?" Dean looked up to Sam, but Sam was already gone. "Sam? Sammy?" Dean looked around in question. "Sjeez, I can't never make you happy." He rolled his eyes and lay the paper on the table.

Sam lay on his bed. He knew Dean didn't like him anymore. Dean always took John's side and John hated his guts and now Dean did to. Tears rolled down his cheeks. Why did everything have to be so stupid? Maybe he had to listen to Anna, maybe this will let them see what there doing to him.

He nodded to himself. This is it, he will do what Anna said to him, this will get there attention and maybe he will be come perfect, just like Dean is. He will lose this fat, he will be less lazier. His daddy and his brother will be proud of him and beside that he would get a girlfriend. A friend who would never leave his side. He smiled at himself, thats what he was going to do.

"Sam I have pizza!" shouted Dean from down stairs. Sam rolled his eyes.

"I'm coming!" He wiped his tears away and walked down the stairs. "Here I am." He took a piece of the plate that Dean held out for him and muttered a thanks. He kept looking down at the piece of pizza while he started to eat it. Are you really going to eat that? Fatty boy! The voice asked. It was a softly voice, a voice of a little girl. Fatty is eating fat, fatty wants to become fat, fatty your a fatty, fatty you are a fatty!

Sam swallowed and closed his eyes. He lay the half eaten piece of pizza back on the table. "I'm not hungry, sorry." He stood up and started to run to his and Deans room.

You think your saved? You already got all that fat in you. On-perfect you are, on-perfect you will stay. FATSO FATSO FATSO SAMMY IS A WEAK FATSO. Tears started to roll down again. You want to be perfect? To be tin, to be strong? Then you need the fat out your body.. spill it! Get it out! OUT! OUT! DO IT! LET SEE HOW STRONG YOU ARE, do it for Deanie. For you perfect brother..

"Shut up, I don't wanna hear it!" Sam said to no one. Then be strong and get it out. Do it boy or be disgusted. In panic because he started to believe it and just wanted that the voice would shut up, he walked out of the room to the bathroom. He let the water run and sat down before the toilet and did the same thing he once had to do when he had
this stomach bug. He stoke his finger deeper in his throat. And then it happen all the eaten food of the day came out. When he was done, he sat down, breathing heavenly next to the toilet. Good Sammy-boy, now your a brave boy!

TBC...