By the time Jake got home, he was tired and dirty. All he wanted to do was shower and then go to sleep.
He had been helping Sam all day with her new colt, Blackie. There was no way she'd be able to ride him any time soon, but they were doing their best to try and gain his trust early on. After Jake finished with Sam, he stayed to help Wyatt repair a couple fences. By the time Jake headed for home, he actually felt almost like an adult, making his way home from work.
But as he rode closer to Three Ponies and his house came into view, he knew immediately that something was different.
Everything looked too quiet. No one was wandering around outside, and both Mom and Dad's cars were in the drive. It was around five in the evening, but Jake knew that Dad's mine shift should have kept him there longer.
Jake had borrowed Nate's horse, Digger, for the day, and he turned him out to the pasture before he made his way into the barn. Jake was expecting to be scolded for staying over at River Bend too long and neglecting his chores, but there was no one there to criticize him.
Jake knew better than to avoid chores, but he started getting an uneasy feeling when he realized something might be wrong.
Jake peaked in the tack room for a second, just to make sure no one was inside, and stopped when he saw what was sitting on the table.
A saddle sat in clear view, one that he was sure he'd ever seen before. It wasn't new, but it was definitely fancier than any he knew they owned at Three Ponies. His heart skipped a beat when he put the pieces together. Dad was home early. No one was outside. A strange saddle.
Kit must be home.
Jake was already really tired, but this new realization just made him feel even more lethargic. It had been four years since any of them had really spoken to Kit. He called home on holidays, but even then he mostly just talked to Mom and Dad. They definitely hadn't seen him since that warm summer's morning when he'd abruptly left.
Of course, Jake might be reading the signs wrong, but he just had a feeling that he was right.
He cautiously made his way to the house, both hoping and dreading that Kit might actually be home.
Jake heard talking before he even got onto the porch.
"You can ride out with us tomorrow. I bet you've missed it," Jake heard Nate say.
"No! He can't, Nate. He needs to rest," said Mom.
Jake didn't want to interrupt their conversation, both because he wanted to hear it and because it would be awkward if he just barged in.
"Mom, it's really not that bad. The hospital wouldn't have released me if it was," Kit spoke, and Jake got final conformation that his brother was indeed visiting.
Jake heard pans banging together. He could picture the scene – the family sitting around the table watching Mom cook. He wondered if Kit looked any different, or if he acted any different. So much time away from home must have changed him.
"Kit, you're resting. A bruised tailbone isn't something to fool with. Riding isn't going to help at all."
Jake really didn't want to just walk in during the middle of things, but he was tired and hot and their conversation could last a while. He figured he should just get it over with.
With a deep breath, he opened the kitchen door. Mom jumped.
"Oh, Jake, you scared me!"
"Sorry, Mom."
There was an awkward silence. Jake noticed that only Dad, Nate, Mom, and Kit were in the kitchen. They all stared at him as he stood in the doorway, looking anywhere but their faces.
"Jake, you have blood all over your hands! What have you been doing?"
Jake looked down at his hands, which had gained scratches over the knuckles. They bled more than they hurt. He'd had a couple slip ups when he was helping Wyatt, and Sam's dad had made him promise to clean up before he left River Bend, but Jake had forgotten. It wasn't the first time it had happened, and it didn't hurt, so he didn't think anything of it.
Jake didn't answer Mom as she nudged him over to the sink.
"Dinner will be ready in a couple minutes. Clean up."
Jake did as she said, and without glancing up, made his way to the table.
"You're not going to say "Hi", Baby Bear?" Kit asked.
Jake reluctantly looked up at Kit. His brother looked older. His face more closely resembled Dad's than it had before, and his hair was cut shorter. The only thing that hadn't changed was his smile. It was bright and happy.
Jake shyly smiled back. "Hi."
Jake didn't offer any more words. And he didn't have to, because at that moment Bryan, Quinn, and Adam entered the kitchen from the living room. It became noisy and hectic. Jake listened to Kit tell stories from the rodeo, stories about places he'd been and people he'd met.
From the moment he thought Kit might be home, he'd been feeling off. Almost indifferent to it all, and it wasn't until he heard Kit's stories that he realized his true feelings.
Jake was mad.
Kit had just left without warning, and stayed away for years. Jake hadn't even got to talk to him after the first couple of weeks he'd been gone, when he called to see how everyone was doing. Kit had been his hero growing up – the brother that watched over him and taught him things when one else would. Then suddenly, Kit had chosen to go to the rodeo and be everyone else's hero. Like his family hadn't been good enough for him. Had Jake been older when Kit left, he might have taken it better. But to the eight-year-old boy who had been infatuated with his brother, it had hurt his feelings more than he'd ever let anyone know.
"He won't be able to ride at least until he's ready to leave."
Jake was brought out of his thoughts when he heard Mom speak. He looked up. Everyone was looking at Kit.
"What happened?" Adam asked.
Kit shrugged, trying his best to play it off as nothing. "Just a bruised tailbone. Happened in Reno, and I thought I'd come visit while I recover."
Jake's brows scrunched. Kit had been in a rodeo in Reno? He was positive the entire family would have gone to it, had they known.
"Yes, about that. We would have driven out there, Kit. You should have let us know."
Kit looked guilty. "It wasn't a big show, Mom. I wasn't going to be in these parts very long. I was signed up for a different rodeo in Arizona this week. I didn't want to upset you by leaving so soon."
The excuse fell flat to Jake, and it looked like it did with Mom too.
Instead of scolding him further, she turned away, her lips pursed.
Jake fleetingly wondered if Kit had gotten into an argument with their parents before he left for the rodeo in the first place. It would explain his long absence. But Jake couldn't imagine what would have upset them so much – unless they were strongly against Kit competing, which was possible.
The tension in the air was thick, and wasn't broken until Bryan asked Dad if he could borrow the truck for a couple days to go on a trip with his friends.
Dad sighed, and Jake knew he was about to get angry. Bryan wasn't even technically old enough to drive by himself.
Jake escaped from the kitchen before Bryan started begging.
The rest of the week was miserable for Jake. He did his best to ignore Kit, because he would ultimately be leaving again. That, and Jake felt weird around him now. He didn't know this Kit – the Kit that had been to multiple states and that had actual fans. His brother didn't act much different around the family, but Jake could still see a difference in his behavior.
When Kit lived at Three Ponies, he'd cared about the chores, about knowing what needed fixed or replaced. But the entire time he was visiting, Kit didn't ask one question about the ranch. Instead, all he did was talk about broncs and where he'd be going next.
The one time Jake actually had a decent conversation with Kit, he was alone in a corral trying to teach his new horse, Witch, who was boss.
Witch had been born a little over two years ago. She was the meanest horse Three Ponies had ever had, but the deal had been that Quinn would get one foal and Jake the other. When Chocolate Chip was born, Quinn had first dibs since he was older. So Jake had waited until Witch came along and then finally got a real horse of his own.
The catch came when she snapped at everyone and wouldn't let many people near her. At first, Jake had been heartbroken, thinking Dad would raise the filly on his own and then try to sell her. Then he would have to wait for another mare to be in foal to get a horse of his own.
But Jake had worked with her nonstop until she eventually started to accept him. Grandfather had been a huge help with getting Witch to accept Jake. He gave him old Shoshone techniques that seemed to bewitch the horses and obtain trust. It hadn't worked completely on the filly, but Jake was proud to say that he was the only one of his brothers that Witch would allow close to her. Dad could get close to Witch too, but he was also the best cowboy Jake knew, and he wouldn't take nonsense.
Jake was in his own little world that day, jogging Witch in tight figure eights, trying to get her to stop wanting to buck.
He slipped up once. He walked Witch too close to the fence for her liking, even though it actually wasn't very close at all, and she skidded to a stop suddenly without warning. Jake slid down backwards over her rump before he even realized what was happening.
The breath got knocked out of him as he landed, and since Witch had jogged to the other end of the corral and wasn't in the mood for humans, Jake took his time getting back up.
It didn't work out as he'd planned.
Jake, to his surprise, felt hands grasp under his arms and pull him to his feet.
"You okay?" Jake's blood froze as he heard the concerned voice of Kit behind him.
Jake's movements were jerky as he bent over and picked his hat up.
"Fine," he said tightly.
Kit sighed. Jake knew Kit had figured out how mad he was at him. He hadn't really talked to him at all in the past week, except for when he knew their parents were watching.
"You were doing good with her, Baby Bear. Just hold on tighter next time."
Jake felt his anger growing. No duh. Like he couldn't have figured that out for himself.
Jake, who wasn't in the mood for making small talk and didn't want to talk about the actual issue, walked away without another word or glance.
"Hey!" Kit said, and although he didn't sound mad, Jake could almost hear the hurt in his voice.
And then, probably figuring that it had worked in previous years, Kit lightly shoved Jake.
"Smile," Kit said, giving off a smile of his own and crouching as Jake turned around, expecting Jake to laugh and grapple with him.
Instead, in the heat of the moment and without actually thinking about it, Jake swung his fist out and hit Kit right in the face.
The impact wasn't enough to throw Kit off balance, but it did jerk his head back. Kit put his hand to his nose as blood started to flow.
"Hey!"
This time the voice did sound mad. And it also wasn't Kit's.
Jake felt himself shrink as he turned and saw Dad walking toward them angrily.
"Jacob! I have told you before not to throw fists," Dad began, his face mad and his finger pointing.
"Dad-" Kit started, his voice calm but muffled from behind his hand.
"Especially with Kit, young man. You know he's recovering. What if he'd fallen on his tailbone and injured it further?"
"Dad-" Kit tried to break through again, sounding more embarrassed.
Jake stood in silence, looking his father in the face.
"I want you to apologize right now," Dad ignored Kit.
Jake turned towards his older brother, and for the first time since he'd been home, looked him in the eyes.
"I'm sorry-" Jake began, feeling horrible and sounding regretful.
Kit cut him off too. Turning to their father, he spoke.
"Dad, it wasn't Baby Bear's fault. I was provoking him. I promise."
Dad looked at Kit and shook his head. "You know I know that's not true. Jake needs to control himself."
Jake felt like rolling his eyes. It wasn't like he was a mad man, running around punching everyone. There had been a couple of incidents recently, with him and his friend Darrell throwing a few punches at some boys in Darton, but that had been justified in his opinion.
"I'm sorry," Jake said again, louder this time.
Dad looked at him straight on. "You'd better be. Next time just see what happens, Jacob."
Dad looked at them both before stalking away.
When Kit pulled his hand away from his face, his nose was bloody but not broken.
"I just got mad. I didn't really mean it," said Jake, unable to look his brother in the face.
Kit looked at Witch and then back at Jake. "I know, Jake. You've got good reason to be mad at me. I know I upset you all when I left."
Jake really didn't want to talk about it. But Kit was determined.
"I didn't understand what I wanted, and when I finally figured it out no one supported me. I left and didn't come back home because I was afraid. If I failed doing rodeo, I wouldn't have been able to stand everyone telling me I should have listened to them to begin with."
Jake felt himself slowly looking back at Kit once more. It was strange for someone in this family to let their feelings flow so freely. Maybe Kit was more used to it since he had to give all those interviews.
If Jake were still eight this would have been the moment where he'd have spilled everything. How could you leave me? How could you break all those promises? How could you be gone for so long, with no contact? Why? Why? And Why?
But Jake didn't want to be a baby about it anymore than he already was; after all, the punch and the silent treatment had been enough.
"It must have been the right decision, though. You've been doing great. Everyone in town loves you."
Even to Jake's own ears he sounded bitter.
Kit wiped his nose once more, and leaned down a little to be at Jake's eye level.
"You're still what matters to me, okay? Not the fancy prizes or fans. I'll visit more often."
Jake allowed himself to smile, even though he doubted Kit would be home all that much.
"Yeah," Jake agreed.
Kit smiled. "Now go get Witch and we'll try to tame Her Majesty."
Jake chuckled and smiled and everything almost felt normal again.
He was a foot away when arms grabbed him and held him in a headlock.
"And this is for punching me," Kit said as he relentlessly ruffled Jake's hair and held him tightly even while he struggled.
Even with Kit being injured, he was stronger than Jake. Kit tortured him until Jake let out a laugh, and then he was released.
"There. Now we're good," said Kit.
Jake was still smiling, even as Witch bared her teeth at him.
AN: Hello again. Thank you to those who read, and to those who reviewed, it really makes me happy. And about Witch - I'm not sure how old she really is, but I know Kit knew about her, so I put her in for the fun of it. Jake probably didn't have her when he was twelve, but you never know.