A/N: I don't know how musical theater schools actually work and I'm really too lazy to look anything up. I'm going with fiction here and since NYADA is a fictional school to begin with I'm going with it. In this; NYADA holds a winter concert every year to showcase some of their best performers and give them opportunities to be seen/heard by some of Broadway's producers. So it's kind of a big deal and also it's explained why it wasn't talked about in Rachel and Kurt's first year.
Warning: Sexy times.
Disclaimer: I don't own Glee, anything mentioned, any songs, quotes, or books used.
Chapter 13: Just Forget the World
"I think we dream so we don't have to be apart for so long. If we're in each other's
dreams, we can be together all the time."
-A.A. Milne; Winnie the Pooh
/
Rachel was sitting on the couch and she was flipping through the channels on the TV as she waited for Quinn to call. They had a homework slash Skype date as soon as Quinn's final class let out and she was waiting patiently.
Well as patient as Rachel could possibly ever be.
She nearly jumped out of her skin when she heard a loud bang on the front door; after catching her breath she was about to get up and see what the noise was but before she could even get up the door burst open and Santana and Brittany almost fell inside. They were tearing at each other's clothes and they were moaning.
God the moaning.
It had been nearly two weeks since classes had started up and nearly two weeks of Rachel having to be left with her own sexual frustration as her two roommates were constantly having sex.
It didn't bother her so much when Quinn was still there but now that she was back in New Haven, Rachel was frustrated.
Like really, really frustrated.
Always so fucking frustrated.
Then she heard more moaning.
Ugh the fucking moaning- she thought and rolled her eyes.
Brittany pulled off of Santana's lips when she heard Rachel grumbling and she looked at her.
"Sorry Rach, we-" her words were turned into a yelp when Santana bit down on her neck. Brittany then dragged her very willing girlfriend into their bedroom and Rachel rolled her eyes and thanked Barbra that they left.
But she could still hear then.
She missed Quinn.
She really missed Quinn… so freaking much. She missed holding her and touching her and kissing her.
And making her moan.
She was seriously frustrated.
And her favorite source of relief was in New Haven.
"Ugh," she grumbled to herself when she heard another loud moan and grasped her phone off of the coffee table. She practically ran out of the apartment and knocked on the door across the hall.
"Come in Rachel," she heard Kurt's voice call out; she rolled her eyes again at her current situation. They were already used to Rachel coming over to escape the moaning.
She walked in and saw both Kurt and Tina sitting on the couch and they were both smirking at her. She threw her hands in the air.
"Why did I agree to live with them?" She asked and Kurt withheld a chuckle.
"I'm sorry Rachel but I'm glad it was you. I don't think I'd ever be able to withstand the trauma involved in having to listen to that day in and day out."
"Tell me about it," she threw herself on the couch in between her two friends. "How do I make it stop?"
"You could tell them it bothers you," Tina suggested.
"No! I can't do that because they're so happy… and plus Santana likes to yell at me," both Tina and Kurt laughed and she glared at them.
"I'm sorry Rachel," Tina apologized for laughing. "I really am… but you shouldn't have to be miserable either."
"I know," she pouted and crossed her arms over her chest. "I just miss Quinn so much already and all the time," Tina and Kurt both nodded remembering last year and how rough long distance is. Quinn and Rachel were the only two still having to do it. So they both felt for her as she continued. "And this is just making it so much worse," she finished and Tina patted her shoulder.
"Did you try headphones?" Kurt asked and she nodded.
"Yes and they're my only saving grace right now… headphones are the only reason I'm getting any sleep at all," Kurt withheld another chuckle. He really did feel for her but he couldn't help but laugh at the absurdity of the situation. Rachel's phone buzzed in her hand and she looked down with a smile because it was a text from Quinn.
From Quinn: Please don't hate me babe but I have to postpone our Skype date. Professor Tate asked me to review the final draft of the play and it needs to be done tonight. I'm sorry but please don't be mad I'll make it up to you I promise.
Rachel pouted but her pride in Quinn was overriding her disappointment. She replied.
From Rachel: I'm not mad but I am disappointed. Santana and Britt won't stop fucking and I'm so frustrated so don't be surprised if I distract you later with some naughty texting.
She smirked and hit send.
From Quinn: I think I could take a small break for that. I mean it is my responsibility as your girlfriend to help with some sexting. And this weekend when I visit I'll make it up to you with some real sexing.
Rachel smiled and pushed her disappointment aside.
From Rachel: I love you
From Quinn: I love you too gorgeous.
From Rachel: Have fun with your editing. I'll talk to you later.
From Quinn: I'd rather be having fun with you ;)
From Rachel: Oh you will ;) Bye baby.
From Quinn: I look forward to it. Bye xx
Rachel smiled and tucked her phone away.
"So my date with Quinn is off," she said and saw Tina pouting. "So can I hang out with you guys tonight?"
"Of course you can Rachel," Kurt said. "What do you want to do… stay in or go out?"
"I could use a few drinks actually," she said and saw Kurt's smile widen.
"Callbacks it is… all of our babies are busy being nerds so I'm all for a ladies night out… you in Tina?" She nodded wildly and Kurt squealed. "Oooh let me go get ready." And with that he was gone.
"Yeah I should go brave the moaning… I don't exactly want to go to Callbacks with my PJ's on," Rachel said pathetically.
"Or you could just wear something of mine," Tina suggested.
"Ooh I like that idea," and with that they went to Tina's room to find something to wear.
Quinn was in her room sitting on her bed in her pajamas. She was lost in thought as she read through the play. There were tears in her eyes; this play was seriously beautiful and she couldn't wait to audition for it. She was lost in the world that her professor had created when her phone beeped and she soon became lost in a different world altogether.
Her favorite world.
She picked up her phone and saw that it was a text from Rachel. She still felt so bad about cancelling their date but when she opened her phone and read the text all her worrying was lost and a moan escaped her mouth.
From Rachel: I want you so bad Quinn… I'm hot and wet and aching for you. What are you wearing?
She smirked and replied.
From Quinn: My pajamas that you got me for my birthday this past year, you know the ones with monkey's wearing glasses.
She knew she was probably killing the mood but that's what she was wearing. She added one last thing before sending it.
From Quinn: What are you wearing?
From Rachel: Nothing but knee socks.
"Oh god," Quinn moaned again. She dropped the script to her bed as her hand drifted into her pajama pants.
From Quinn: Oh yeah and what are you doing right now?
From Rachel: Well I have my knees bent and my legs spread and I'm running my fingers in small circles over my clit and wishing it was you doing it.
She got another text before she could reply and it was a picture message. When she opened it she saw Rachel in the exact position she had just described and her mouth watered.
She took a deep breath and replied.
From Quinn: It is me doing it. Pretend those are my fingers and I'm gently massaging your clit.
Quinn's quickly pulled her pants and panties off and began doing to herself what Rachel was doing.
/
In Rachel's room she read Quinn's last text and let her head fall back she was picturing Quinn's hand. She bit her lip and replied.
From Rachel: That feels so good baby but I need more… fuck me please.
/
Quinn read that one and moaned loudly. Rachel was playing along and waiting for her to tell her what to do and that was so fucking sexy.
From Quinn: Fuck yourself baby one finger pretend it's me doing it. I'm doing the same and pretending it's you.
From Rachel: Oh Quinn you feel so good. But one finger isn't enough I need you to stretch me.
From Quinn: Oh fuck… put three I want you to feel you tighten around me. Choke my fingers Rachel.
From Rachel: Oh Quinn you fill me up so good.
From Quinn: Squeeze your clit. It's my mouth biting you.
From Rachel: Oh god baby your mouth is so hot and wet I'm close. Pound me.
From Quinn: Faster… fuck yourself hard. I'm fucking myself hard and deep just like you do. Do it now.
/
In Rachel's room she started to pound her fingers harder like Quinn always did.
From Rachel: I'm coming… lick it all up Quinn.
From Quinn: Me too… Mm you taste so good. Taste yourself.
Rachel came all over her hand and then cleaned her fingers off like Quinn had told her to do.
From Rachel: Mm, I taste good. Did you come?
/
In Quinn's room; she screamed Rachel's name as she drenched her hand with the images of Rachel licking herself off of her fingers. After calming down she replied.
From Quinn: I came so hard!
From Rachel: Did you clean your hand off with that magnificent tongue… if not do it.
From Quinn: All clean baby, and I taste good too.
From Rachel: Yeah you fucking do.
From Quinn: I love you.
From Rachel: Call me.
After one ring she heard Rachel's voice.
"I love you too," she said dreamily and Quinn giggled because she could tell that Rachel was drunk.
"That was so hot Rach," she said.
"Yeah it was… I couldn't help myself Quinn after going out with Tina and Kurt I just needed you… I needed to… just forget the world," Quinn giggled at her adorableness. "You're not mad that I interrupted you are you?"
"God no, you can distract me like that anytime Rachel."
"Good," she said sleepily. "I'm tired now though."
"Me too," Quinn told her with another chuckle. "Go to sleep baby… I have a bit more reading to do."
"Okay," Rachel hummed. "Will you stay on the phone with me until I fall asleep?"
"Of course I will," Quinn answered and heard a contented sigh over the line and it was one of her most favorite sounds in the whole world.
"You're the best girlfriend ever," Rachel said and Quinn could tell she would be asleep within minutes.
"No love that's you," she said and heard a small giggle and a very quiet whisper.
"Love you."
"Love you right back," she said knowing Rachel didn't hear it because she was already asleep. She stayed on the line listening to the sound of Rachel breathing.
She missed it so much.
It was music to her ears and even though she would be pulling an all-nighter in order to finish editing the play she needed to just forget the world and get lost in Rachel for a while.
So she pulled her blanket up over her rapidly cooling body and listened to Rachel breathing.
Just for a little while.
The next day as Quinn walked into her English class to hand over the script to Professor Tate; she was tired. She had fallen asleep shortly after Rachel did but she had set her alarm. She had gotten up at 4 in the morning so that she could finish and turn it in.
He smiled when she walked into the class.
"How I do?" He asked and she could tell that he was nervous. She withheld a laugh at the fact that her professor seemed like he was nervous about getting a bad grade.
"It was wonderful Sir," she said. "It had everything a coming of age tragedy should have and I think you did an amazing job at writing the inner workings of these characters minds." He smiled wide.
"Wait are you just saying that because I'm your professor and you want a good grade this term?" He wondered and she giggled.
"No Sir… I have far more integrity that that… isn't that why you chose me?"
"Touché Quinn," he smiled and she handed him the play.
"Seriously it is wonderful and I think you missed your calling as a writer," she told him and he smirked. "I mean as a published writer… I think you would write wonderful young adult novels," he nodded and she turned to leave.
"Quinn," he called and she turned back. "You're going to audition for the role of Samantha, right?" She nodded wildly and he smiled. "Good."
"Thank you so much for this opportunity Professor Tate and I hope I don't let you down," she told him.
"You won't," she nodded and turned to leave. As she was leaving, she pulled out her phone and texted Rachel.
From Quinn: I love you xx
She got a reply.
From Rachel: Well I love you too Quinn… but did I do something special?
From Quinn: You don't have to do anything. You are something special.
From Rachel: You are so fucking cute babe.
From Quinn: As are you.
From Rachel: Are your classes done yet so you can get here?
From Quinn: Soon.
From Rachel: I'm counting the minutes.
From Quinn: You're not the only one ;)
Rachel was excited because she finally had a shared class with Kurt; they didn't have any their first year. They were walking out of that class on their way to meet Tina; who had the unfortunate luck of having Cassie July this year. Rachel had told her to stay strong and if Cassie picks on her it's only because she believes in her. Tina smiled at that because Cassie had been tough on her.
Kurt and Rachel were walking toward Cassie's dance room to get Tina for their lunch date when they heard Brody's voice behind them.
"Hey Rachel," he called and she turned around. "Hey Kurt… wait up?" He finished, they stopped, and waited as he caught up to them. "Hey guys."
"Hey Brody," they said at the same time.
"Hey Rachel I was looking for you because I was wondering if you would please sing with me for the winter concert auditions," Rachel smiled.
"Brody I'd love to but…" she bit her lip and looked at Kurt.
Rachel had been planning to audition herself but the audition called for one solo and one duet so she had assumed that Kurt who was also auditioning would want to partner with her.
"Kurt… I know we hadn't discussed this much but-"
"But you think I wanted you to duet with me for our audition," he finished her thought and she nodded.
"You didn't?" Kurt noted that she sounded a little hurt.
"No… I mean I figured we would but it's fine if Brody needs you, I'll just ask Tina."
"Nut Kurt, she can't… audition freshman aren't allowed to participate," Brody told him and he smiled. "It's cool Rach, I'll find someone el-"
"No silly," Kurt cut in. "Tina can't audition herself but the rules state that anyone attending NYADA can be a duet partner for the person auditioning. So she can help me and maybe impress a few of the NYADA professors at the same time," he finished and Rachel squealed.
"Really Kurt… you're really okay with me and Brody working together?"
"More than… I've always wanted to sing with Tina but Mr. Schue would never allow it so this is my chance… assuming she agrees."
"She will."
"And it's also my chance to see you light up the stage with a real leading man for a change," Rachel smirked and Brody was about to thank him but he spoke again. "I mean I love Finn, he's my brother… but a leading man?" He raised his eyebrow as he said it. "No… just no," Rachel couldn't hold the laugh. "God what was Mr. Schue thinking?"
"I think I need to meet this Finn guy," Brody said as he draped his arm over Rachel's shoulder.
"Join us for lunch Brody," Rachel suggested. "We can discuss what song we will sing."
"Cool," he said and they headed toward Cassie's class. "I actually already have a song in mind for us… I think we would nail it," she looked up at him with a sly grin.
"What song?"
"Give Your Heart a Break," he said and jumped when she squealed again.
"Oooh! I love that song," she beamed. "I think you're right… we would sound amazing," she clapped. "Ooh I can't wait to start rehearsing," he giggled at her giddiness.
Rachel was bouncing on her heels later on that night as she stood in the Metro Station. Quinn had just texted her that she'd be there soon and she was literally bouncing with excitement.
She was so on edge from missing Quinn added with her constant sexual frustration that she was planning on pulling Quinn into the bathroom as soon as fucking possible.
She needed her… and she needed her soon.
The train pulled in and she stood on her toes trying to peer over all the heads that were exiting the train. She was desperately looking for Quinn but she was too short.
Quinn could see her from inside and giggled at how fucking cute she looked. She purposely hid behind a tall man as she got off; until he turned and she stood in front of her very antsy girlfriend. Rachel's eyes bulged out at her sudden appearance.
It was one, two, three seconds of staring before she jumped into Quinn's waiting arms.
Quinn caught her easily.
"You're so beautiful," Rachel said before pressing her lips to Quinn's lips. Quinn opened her mouth and let Rachel's tongue dominate her mouth. She held her tight, digging her fingertips into Rachel's Yale sweatshirt. "Mm Quinn," Rachel pulled off her heavenly mouth. "I really missed these lips."
"Me t-" Quinn started to say but Rachel was kissing her again. This time it was Quinn that backed out of the kiss and looked at Rachel's lust filled stare. "We need to get home n-" her mouth was again covered by Rachel's and her mouth was filled with Rachel's probing tongue again.
"Fuck Quinn," Rachel said after another breathtaking kiss. "I need you… I need you right fucking now," she pulled herself away from Quinn's hot body and interlocked their fingers. Quinn giggled as she dragged her into the bathroom.
Once inside Quinn pushed Rachel against the wall of the stall and locked the door behind her. She looked over Rachel's body.
"You look so hot," she hummed and watched as Rachel licked and then bit her lip. Quinn's eyes followed her hands as they roamed down her body and slowly pulled her skirt up to reveal her lime green boy shorts that were clearly soaked.
"This has been the longest two weeks," Rachel said with a sigh and then Quinn was once again pressed against her. And then Quinn's fingers were sliding past the waistband of those boy shorts.
"Oh fuck yeah… please Quinn I need you so much," she begged and Quinn nodded. Seeing and hearing Rachel like this had her willing to do absolutely whatever the girl wanted and right now she wanted to be fucked.
And Quinn would never deny her anything.
She felt Rachel's wetness coat her hand and she bit her lip.
"Oh god Rach," she nearly growled. "So fucking wet."
"So hot for you baby," Rachel breathed out. She dug her nails into Quinn's shoulders when Quinn filled her with two fingers. "I want more… I want three," she bit her lip again and this time Quinn did growl. She pulled out and pushed back in with three fingers.
"Oh Quinn fu-" she bit down on Quinn's shoulder to stop herself from screaming loud enough for the whole train station to hear her. She rested her sweaty head against Quinn's neck as Quinn's fingers started to rapidly pump inside her. Then she let her head fall back against the wall.
Quinn watched in awe as Rachel's eyes rolled back. Quinn watched her neck muscles tensing and beads of sweat sliding down that neck.
She needed to taste her.
She leant her head forward and began leaving wet open mouthed kisses along her jaw and down her neck while her hand was slamming into her at a rapid pace.
Rachel was shaking uncontrollably as she felt her orgasm building. Quinn's palm was hitting her perfectly and those lips were sucking her neck. She could tell Quinn was leaving a mark and she would be leaving with at least one hickey but right now she could care less. She could feel Quinn everywhere and the feeling was indescribable.
No matter how much sex they had it was always just as good, and just as perfect…
And just as erotic as the very first time.
"Fuck Quinn… I'm… I'm," she stopped and looked deep into those intense hazel eyes. She started rolling her hips pushing Quinn's fingers deeper than before.
"Oh god Rachel fuck my hand!"
"Oh god yeah… Qui-" she started to scream as her orgasm hit her but Quinn knew she was going to be loud so she kissed her and Rachel moaned into her mouth. The feeling sent Quinn into her own rapidly building orgasm and they came together.
After catching her breath, and shaking through two aftershocks; Rachel was able to stand on her own. Quinn looked down at her.
"That was-"
"That was wow…" Rachel said with a heavy breath and they both chuckled. "I'm sorry for attacking you babe it's just… it's just been a bit of a rough adjustment living with Brittany and Santana… together." Quinn nodded and bit her lip. "Do you want me to," she was pushing Quinn back against the other wall and Quinn smirked.
"I do… but let's go home," she cooed. "I want you to make love to me on that sweet bed of yours," Rachel giggled.
"I love you cheesy Quinn," she said and Quinn pouted. Rachel circled her wrist and dragged her out. "Come on I want to make love… and forget the world." Quinn's pout went away in favor of her dopey Rachel induced smile.
The next morning Rachel was on top of the world; for a few reasons.
One she was in Quinn's arms and every single time she got to wake up in Quinn's arms she was on top of the world. She knew she would never tire of this feeling. And also today was the day she was going to audition for NYADA's winter concert with Brody and Quinn would get to be there.
She felt Quinn stirring in her arms and she looked up into the beautiful face. What she saw was Quinn's incredible smile.
Quinn woke up holding Rachel and knew she would want to wake up this way every single day of her life. She opened her eyes and looked down at her baby, a few seconds later those eyes were on her and she melted. A smile overtook her face and in turn Rachel beamed at her and she knew that putting a smile on that face was one of her most favorite things to do.
"Hey beautiful," she said quietly and Rachel leaned up on her arms and bit her lip.
"Me… I don't look nearly as beautiful as you do when you wake up… it's gorgeous, how do you do that?" Quinn smiled at her sweetness.
"It's because I'm waking up in your arms," Rachel giggled. "Seriously, when I wake up without you I look terrible." Rachel lightly pushed her and tried to get up but Quinn held her in place.
"No," she pouted. "You stay here," she kissed Rachel's forehead.
"Well I'd love to… but as you know today is a big day for me," Quinn nodded and kissed her cheek. "And I have to get to rehearsal before Brody gets there so I can rehearse my solo," Quinn kissed her lips.
"You're amazing," she kissed her again. "You're going to do amazing," kiss again. "And Brody should thank his lucky stars that the hottest girl in NYADA is singing with him," Rachel giggled.
"I'm hardly the hottest girl."
"I beg to differ… in fact I think you're the hottest girl in New York," Quinn kissed her again.
"Yeah well you're bias," Quinn nodded and licked her lips. "And you're wrong because you're here so that makes you the hottest girl in New York," Quinn shook her head. Rachel kissed her this time and tried to get up again.
"No… stay," Quinn pouted again.
"I'd love to do nothing but stay in this bed and do you for the whole weekend."
"Mm, I like that idea."
"But I can't… I'm going to shine on that stage today with Brody and do you know why?"
"Why?"
"Because you'll be in the audience and having my biggest fan there will be all the support I need," Quinn kissed her.
"I love you."
"And I love you… and I'll make you a deal," Quinn arched her eyebrow at that. "If you let me get up… I'll make you some bacon," Quinn let her go so fast and Rachel giggled. "Should I be worried that you love bacon more than me?" She joked.
"Not more than you… just as much as you," Quinn teased and Rachel chuckled as she got to her feet.
"Great so I'm competing with bacon," she grumbled as she started to leave.
"Rach," Quinn called and she turned back. "It's no competition… you taste way better," Rachel blushed and Quinn continued. "But that doesn't mean that I don't still want it."
"Smooth talker Fabray… keep it up and you'll get both."
"And how is that in any way a threat?" Quinn wondered.
"It isn't," Rachel winked and left the room. Quinn stretched out in Rachel's bed and sighed; contented.
If this was what life with Rachel was going to be like every day then she knew she would be the happiest woman alive for the rest of her life.
She lay there a few more minutes and then decided to return the favor… it was Rachel's big day after all. So she joined her in the kitchen and made vegan pancakes for her girl; as her girl made bacon for her.
It was perfect.
Just like Rachel.
Quinn sat in the audience in the NYADA Theater and watched and she was so nervous for her girlfriend, but also so proud. Santana was sitting on her side and Puck was on the other. Puck had made the trip to watch his Jew babe in action. He was playing a show in Jersey later but there was no way he was missing this. Brittany and Sawyer were also there showing support and sitting on the other side of Santana and Puck. Both Puck and Santana were holding one of Quinn's hands; they knew how nervous she was for Rachel. Mike and Blaine were also there on Brittany's other side to support Kurt and Tina… even though Tina wasn't auditioning; Mike knew this was a chance for her to impress her NYADA professors.
First were the duets and after watching several kids they didn't know they watched Kurt and Tina light up the stage singing together and they all wondered why they had never sung together before now.
Freaking Mr. Schue- Quinn thought.
After they were done; Quinn was waiting patiently- well not really- as several more kids performed and then finally Rachel and Brody were announced. And as they sang Give Your Heart a Break she was blown away. They sounded amazing together and it only further proved that Finn was never good enough to get all those solos with Rachel.
Fucking Mr. Schue- she thought again.
When that song was over Kurt, Tina, Rachel and Brody joined their friends in the audience to watch the rest of the duets before having to prepare for the second portion of the auditions. Rachel practically jumped over the row into Quinn's lap.
"Baby!' She shouted and Quinn sat forward. Rachel circled her arm around Quinn's neck and pulled her into a heated kiss.
"Fuck off!" Santana yelled and Rachel laughed into Quinn's mouth. Quinn pulled away and cupped her cheek.
"You sounded incredible."
"Thank you," Rachel said sweetly. And Quinn's eyes landed on Brody. "You both did," he smiled and nodded.
"Thank you Quinn."
"Yeah it was weird," Santana joined in. "We're used to Rachel singing with Finn and overpowering him because he was just… awful," Brody laughed at hearing about Finn again.
"If he was so bad... why was he always paired with Rachel?" He wondered.
"Because Mr. Schue had a hard on for him," Santana said and Quinn laughed.
"He wasn't exactly bad… but just was nowhere near as good as Rachel and we had several guys including Puck that were stronger singers than him… but they never got the chance because well-"
"Mr. Schue had a hard on for Finn," Santana repeated and Quinn nodded.
"Yeah pretty much," Quinn finished.
"I really gotta meet this Finn guy," Brody said. Sawyer and Puck moved down a seat so Rachel could sit with Quinn and Rachel cuddled into her side as they watched the rest of the duet portion. After a quick intermission they had to go get ready again. Quinn stood before Rachel.
"Break a leg my love," she told her and Rachel grinned evilly. "What?"
"Nothing it's just… this song; like most songs I choose Quinn is for you… I chose this song because when I thought I had lost hope for a Broadway career you sang this to me and you saved me… just like you always do," she kissed her.
"Well you always save me too so," Rachel deepened the kiss before she could finish and then she winked and walked backstage. Quinn-of course- watched her go.
After sitting through some really boring songs Quinn got excited to hear Kurt singing. He chose the same song that he blew away when he auditioned for Miss Tibideaux and again nailed it. After him and several boring songs later Brody decided to rock the house with an amazing version of Feels Like the First Time and then finally it was Rachel.
"Rachel Berry," the head judge called and Quinn tensed up. She felt Santana's and Puck's hands again and she was once again thankful that they were always there. Rachel walked onto the stage with her head high and Quinn smiled at the confident- almost arrogant- look on her face and she immediately stopped worrying Rachel was going to own this.
"Hello my name is Rachel Berry and I'll be singing Chasing Cars by Snow Patrol," she said and Quinn swooned. She thought back to the day that Rachel choked her NYADA audition and the feeling that Rachel chose this for Quinn and for her very first NYADA concert audition was definitely poetic justice.
And of course she nailed it.
After the auditions were over Quinn took her home and congratulated her the best way Quinn knew how… they spent the remainder of the day making love.
Later that night, they all went to Callbacks to celebrate.
Rachel watched Quinn and was so sad she was leaving her in the morning and she'd have to endure another two weeks of sexual frustrations and the hands of her overly horny roommates.
She pushed the sadness away and focused on the fact that Quinn was still there.
And that was enough; for now.
The next morning came quickly and Rachel was up and showered before Quinn had even woken up. She would be bringing her to the train station later and this was the time of their weekends that she hated the most. She sat in her desk chair and watched Quinn sleeping. After a little while she got up and made her breakfast.
Quinn could tell that Rachel was upset. She was distant and pulling away all day and she didn't really understand it. She knew that Rachel hated this day every time they visited each other but she had never acted like this before. Finally after lunch with Santana and Brittany at a café down the street they were walking home and Quinn pulled her aside.
"What's wrong?" She asked.
"Nothing is wrong," Rachel pushed past her and continued walking. Quinn decided to let it go… for a little while.
Once they were back in Rachel's room and she was packing her backpack she tried again.
"What is wrong Rachel?"
"Noth-"
"No it's not nothing… something has been bothering you all day and I want to know what it is."
"You want to know what it is?" Quinn nodded and she could tell that Rachel was very angry and trying to reel it in. "I want what Santana and Brittany have… I want what we used to have Quinn. I want you here with me and I'm sick and tired of these too fucking short weekends!" Quinn's mouth dropped open and she felt like Rachel had just stabbed her in the heart but she had only just begun and it was about to get worse. "I-I want…" she took a shaky breath. "Fuck… Santana gave up everything for Brittany to be here with here and I want- I want that… I want to be your first choice."
"What are you saying Rachel?" Quinn was angry now.
"I want-"
"What do you want?" She yelled cutting her off. "Do you want me to give up Yale?"
"Yes!" Rachel nearly screamed and crossed her arms over her chest. "Yes Quinn… that is what I want!"
And just like that it was like the air was sucked out of the room. It was quiet.
So fucking quiet.
And the look on Quinn's face… the hurt… it made Rachel feel like the biggest piece of shit on the earth. She tried to take it back but Quinn just turned and left.
Quinn felt like she had been punched in the stomach. She couldn't believe the words that had just come out of Rachel's mouth… in the four years that they had dated she heard Rachel being called selfish more times than she thought was possible but it had never been true.
Until now.
She wanted to yell at her. She wanted to call her selfish. She wanted to give up Yale just so that she wouldn't lose the best thing that ever happened to her.
She also wanted to tell Rachel to go fuck herself for pretty much asking her to choose one dream over another when she had never asked Rachel to do the same thing. She wanted to say so many things.
Instead she said nothing.
Instead she grabbed her backpack and walked out of Rachel's apartment with tears streaming down her face.
She vaguely heard Rachel calling her name as the elevator doors closed but she ignored it and just closed in on herself and let the tears fall.
What the fuck just happened? She thought.
Quinn was on the train sooner than she even realized. Somehow she had gotten to the train station and onto the train without even realizing it… she was on auto pilot. Her mind was a mess, she didn't know how her amazing weekend with Rachel had just ended the way it just did.
Her phone was going crazy. Call after call from Rachel that she was ignoring.
She wasn't trying to be mean; in fact she was doing the opposite. If she talked to Rachel right now she would be awful… very awful and she would say things she didn't even mean so instead she ignored her.
Then the text started to come in. Just as she was about to shut her phone off she got a text from Santana and opened that one.
From Santana: I'm sorry Q. I don't know what happened but if I did anything to make things bad between you guys I'm sorry.
She typed a quick rely.
From Quinn: Don't apologize for being happy San and tell Rachel to leave me alone. I don't want to talk to her right now because if I did I might just be as selfish as she is. Turning my phone off now.
/
Santana read Quinn's text with Rachel hovering over her shoulder. She saw what Quinn wrote and started balling. She threw her body to the couch and curled into herself. Brittany sat down in front of her and was rubbing her back.
"C'mon Rachel, it'll be okay… she's just mad. Give her time and it'll be okay, you'll see," she said softly and Rachel looked at her.
"I was so awful to her," Rachel said through her tears. "I told her to give up Yale. Who fucking does that?"
"Get up dwarf," Santana told her and Rachel did as she was told. Santana sat next to her and pulled Rachel into her chest and let her cry it out. Santana rubbed her back. "Look Rachel… I know how you feel and I really am sorry if Britt and I have been making this worse for you," she felt Rachel shaking her head and knew Rachel wasn't really mad at them. "But right now Quinn is doing what Quinn does when she feels like she is losing something… she's hiding." Rachel pulled her face out of Santana's chest and Santana shot her a weak smile. "And what do we do when Quinn runs and hides?" Rachel smiled weakly.
"We don't let her."
"We don't let her," Santana repeated. "Get your ass on a train to New Haven and tell your girl what you really want," Rachel nodded.
"You're right," she said and wiped her face. "Thanks guys," she said through tears. She grabbed her purse and her coat and was out the door before another word could be said. Santana turned to Brittany.
"We need to chill on rubbing this in Berry's face," she said and Brittany nodded.
"Rachel knows we weren't doing it on purpose but… yeah it was kind of mean."
"I know how I would feel it Quinn was here and you weren't," Santana said and pulled Brittany closer to her. "Hey you make a shit ton of money now… we should look into getting our room soundproofed." Brittany giggled and cuddled into Santana's body and then met her eyes.
"Rachel and Quinn will be okay because they're-"
"Rachel and Quinn," Santana finished and brought her lips to Brittany's who was nodding.
When Quinn got out of the cab she nearly ran into the house and slammed the door. She was so glad that Sawyer was not home and with Puck for his gig right now because all she wanted to do was eat ice cream, watch sad movies and cry.
Being a girl fucking sucked sometimes.
Stupid emotions.
Without her permission her mind drifted to Rachel and she started to cry, she didn't want to lose her and the fact that Rachel said what she said was breaking her heart.
She sat at the kitchen table and cried. She didn't even know how long she had been crying but when she heard a knock on her door she nearly jumped out of her skin.
She got to her feet and didn't even bother to wipe her tear soaked face. She pulled the door open and lost her breath at the sight of her equally distraught girlfriend standing before her.
"I don't want you to give up Yale," she said through sobs and Quinn's nodded. "I'm sorry I said it… I didn't mean it and I just," she forgot what she was saying when she felt Quinn's hand on hers. She looked up and watched as Quinn grabbed her wrist and pulled her into a bruising kiss. She kissed her back.
So thankful that she was able to.
Quinn held her tight and lifted her off the ground. Rachel wrapped her legs around Quinn's waist. Quinn pushed Rachel against the door effectively closing it and deepened the kiss. Rachel's hands were in her hair and she was holding her as tight as possible.
Quinn broke the kiss and began kissing Rachel's neck.
"Oh Quinn I-" she gasped when she felt Quinn lips on her neck. "I'm sorry I was a selfish bitch. Your dreams are just as important to me as mine are," with those words Quinn pulled off of her neck and looked deep into her eyes. What she saw took her breath away.
She saw complete honesty.
"Rachel I-" she cleared her throat. It had been so long since she had spoken and with all the crying her words sounded so broken, she tried again. But before she could Rachel spoke again.
"Quinn I'm so-so sorry and I," she unlocked her legs and Quinn lowered her to the ground. Quinn stepped away.
"I'm not mad," she saw Rachel roll her eyes. "I mean I am mad… but I understand why you said what you said." Rachel nodded. "But it hurt Rachel, and I mean it had to have some truth to it right or you wouldn't have said it," Rachel nodded again and took Quinn's hand.
"Will you let me explain?"
"Always," Quinn said and Rachel smiled and sighed. She loved this girl so much. She led Quinn over to the table and Quinn sat down.
Rachel started to pace. She didn't want to screw up again so she took a deep breath and began to explain her real feelings.
"I don't ever want you to choose one dream over the other but I do want you in New York with me… I will never deny that," Quinn nodded but didn't interrupt. "I know Santana and Brittany feel bad but I don't want them to be miserable either. I guess I'm just having a hard time adjusting to them being together while we aren't."
"I get that-"
"Please let me finish?" Rachel cut her off and waited. When Quinn nodded again she continued. "It was easier last year because Brittany, and Kurt, and Mike were all going through the same thing as me so we at least had each other," Quinn smiled as realization washed over her.
Rachel is the only one in New York that is alone this year.
And then she felt bad.
But she waited while Rachel finished.
"This year they all have their babies you know," Rachel started to sob and Quinn nodded. She got to her feet and stopped Rachel's pacing.
"I get it babe… you don't have to keep explaining."
"But I do… I acted like a selfish little bitch and I need to say this so you never doubt it," Quinn nodded and waited. "I was stupid and selfish and jealous as fuck and I took it out on you instead of just talking to you about it… but Quinn I want you here in New Haven where you belong. I mean I want you in New York too," Quinn chuckled. "But I know why you need this… you need to be Quinn Fabray and figure out who she is before you become Quinn Berry-Fabray," Quinn nodded because she did get it. "I'm sorry for what I said… I love you and I want you to know that from now on when something is bothering me I'll try my best to not keep it inside until I explode and say things I could never mean," Quinn smiled and kissed her.
It was simple.
And sweet.
And completely perfect.
"I forgive you," Quinn told her and saw Rachel raise her eyebrows in challenge. "No, I mean I was hurt but that was before I understood… you must be so much more lonely this year than you were last year," Rachel nodded.
"But I still shouldn't have taken it out on you."
"No you shouldn't have," Rachel pouted. "But it's okay and do you know why?"
"Why?"
"Because no matter what Rachel Berry I'm always going to be here to listen, and I'm always going to love you no matter what," Rachel circled her arms around Quinn's neck. "And I'm always going to be your girlfriend."
"Until you're my wife."
"Yeah until then," Quinn giggled and Rachel was so happy to hear it. "But seriously Rach, please tell me when things are upsetting you so that I can tell you that you have nothing to fear and that I will always be yours." Rachel nodded. "We knew this wouldn't be easy but-"
"It will be worth it," Rachel finished and Quinn smiled. "Can I kiss you now?"
"You don't ever have to ask," and then she did and Quinn held her tight as Rachel poured every ounce of love into that kiss. When she pulled back she smirked.
"Can I make love to you now?"
"You certainly don't ever have to ask that either," Quinn said with a chuckle.
"Let's forget everything but this feeling Quinn… even just for a little while," Quinn nodded. "What do you say, will you be mine?"
Always Rachel," she replied. "I always have and I always will."
"Lucky me," Rachel barely got out before Quinn's lips were on hers and she found herself in Quinn's arms again.
And she was lucky.
She was lucky that Quinn was so amazing, and loving and forgiving. But mostly she was lucky that Quinn was hers.
And she was Quinn's.
Always.
A/N 2: I was going to make this a cliffhanger after the fight but I decided not to because I didn't want anyone hating on Rachel without fully understanding how she was feeling. So I hoped you like this and I hope it was true to life. Also it's not the end of the drama for the drama lovers; they have a few issues in some of the chapters as the year goes on.
Up next: date night in New Haven as Rachel and Quinn celebrate their anniversary, and Quinn auditions for the play… Stay tuned.
The title of the chapter comes from the song Chasing Cars by Snow Patrol.