Angst Rating: I guess this is an "R" not quite NC-17 but maybe

Disclaimer: I in no way, shape or form own the characters from BtVS, they're owned by Joss Whedon/Mutant Enemy. All original characters are in no way connected to them except by me in this forum. No money is involved this is simply for my own pleasure.

Feedback: Always a delight

Author's Notes: First and foremost I'd like to dedicate this chapter to Wimpy0729. After several conversations, the thoughts took root and here you have "Tara's Interlude". It's not long, it was never meant to be, but just enough to give you a peek into Tara's mind. This probably won't happen again as this story is being told primarily now, by Willow. Like the last chapter where the title was also a song it is here as well, but I ask that instead of reading and then listening as hopefully you did for Willow, I ask that you listen before you read this time - it'll tie in better. The song is "Hold My Heart" by Sara Barellies and you can listen to it on youtube or wherever you care to find it. As usual there is no beta so all mistakes are my own, PM me with anything glaring. Italics are for emphasis. I hope you enjoy this little change of pace.

Hold My Heart

aka Tara's Interlude

Change...

Anger...

Hurt...

Passion...

Lust...

Love?

So many emotions are swirling around in my head. I can hear you humming in the shower, and it makes me smile. Such a simple sweet thing, yet somehow that makes me... dare I say love?... you all the more.

You left the television on for me, but I've turned the sound down low. I just needed a few moments to process. You're down the hall, but after so many hours of being with you I feel almost bereft without you.

How can that be?

For months I had been hearing about this woman that had been gradually insinuating herself into my family's life, and with no ulterior motive anyone could find. She was just a genuinely nice person that had started out as a new friend for Robby.

I had no idea that when we finally managed to meet one another that this gentle, unassuming woman would change my life so completely. I had no time for a romance, there were so many things I had to fill in my life, but it just seemed like that wasn't in the cards for me.

Until you...

I settled back against the pillows to wait for you, picking one up and bringing it to my nose. I can't wait to have you in my arms again, I thought as I breathed in your scent. I looked up at the television and realized you had left it on some adorable baby animal show. Some baby something was as expected being cute and I was laughing, when I felt you.

You had a soft smile playing on your lips, and a towel hanging around your neck. I wondered how long you had been watching, but I didn't care. I just wanted you close to me. I held out my hand to you, silently asking you to join me.

I sighed happily as we cuddled up again, this time in your bed. I was in heaven. Surround by you completely; you were all over me, filling all my senses. And time just melted away.

Soon it was growing dark, and we went downstairs and saw that snow had started to fall again. It was coming down quickly and starting to pile up. I called home and told them I would be staying the night. As I said that I looked to you for confirmation, you nodded with a smile and set about cooking for us.

As I talked first to Buffy and then to Robby, I became aware of the fact that we were going to be all alone. I already knew something special was happening between us, but was it too soon to have sex? No, it wouldn't be just sex, I realized, it would be making love.

I said my goodbyes, and turned around to watch you as you moved around your kitchen. I knew then that I wanted you and all being with you would entail. You had already made it pretty clear that you felt the same. I wanted you but I didn't want to seem overly eager either, so I decided to let you set the pace for the night.

I would be perfectly happy to just sleep in your arms.

Again time seemed to just slide by and the evening was gone; then again being with you is like that, everything just flows. It's not always easy, we aren't perfect people, we disagree and sometimes loudly, but for the most part it has always been effortless.

Loving you has always been easy, sweetie.

Soon we were making our way to your bedroom, settling in for the evening, and time coasted right by us again. Who knew getting ready for bed would turn into an x-rated Benny Hill skit featuring my nipples?

I was so not expecting you to start undressing in front of me, much less take off your bra and stand topless.

My mouth went dry and my heart started to race. You were so beautiful, your skin and freckles. I loved them instantly. The skin on the palms of my hands began to itch, I wanted to touch you so badly.

Then you were next to me looking so shy. "Fair's fair." You said and I could see the hopefulness in your eyes. I knew that yet again, we felt the same way. We were ready for this, for each other.

Your kisses were driving all thought out of my head, and your skin was cool to my touch. I could feel your stomach trembling, but I swear you left trails of fire down my back where you touched my naked skin.

Darling, when you moved my hand to your breast I thought I might cum then. I bit your shoulder so I would know it was real and not a dream. We were moving against one another and we fit so well.

Then we were both topless. Sensation after sensation crashing over me. Your skin, your mouth – oh god, your mouth on me, your hands all over me. It was all moving so quickly, I felt like I was spinning on a merry-go-round.

You were shaking so hard I wrapped both my arms and legs around you. I wanted to hold you as completely as I could. I wanted you to know it was okay to be overwhelmed. I didn't want to rush this, not with you. As slow as we needed would be perfect. We would be perfect.

Then I was confused, you were apologizing and I knew I had to stop you. When I placed your hand over my heart, it was beating like a metronome set to an extra fast techno beat. "Do you feel my heart, sweetie?" You nodded. "That's what you do to me."

With a deep breath I moved your hand under the waistband of my shorts so you could feel what kind of affect you were having on me. "Do you feel that?" You were so cute when you squeaked and nodded again. "That's what you do to me."

The look on your face was priceless. It was like you had no all idea how deeply and completely you move me. After all of the kissing and touching we shared, I thought you had to have some clue. That you had to know this was more... that this was everything for me too.

How much you made me want to throw caution to the wind. To feel you inside me, to be inside you! I can't wait, I have never wanted someone as much as I want you. The joy already brimming inside me when you touch me...

They way you looked at me, the way you held me and touched me. I thought nothing could be more special or make me feel more special.

I was wrong.

TBC...