Posting Notice: I haven't had that much time the past week or so! But I have the next week off of work so I am hoping to release new chapters of both 'It's All on Facebook' and 'Big Brother!' So they are coming, but I apologise for the delay, being ill hasn't helped all that either! :L Hopefully this one shot will make you hate me that little bit less! :L

So, I keep mentioning that Carson and Sebastian have lots of heart to hearts and that they talk about the Kurt/Blaine/Sebastian situation but I never seem to dedicate anything to them. So to make up for giving Klaine all the attention I thought I'd give you a bit Sebarson love!

(Sebarson? Is that alright or.. What do you think Carbastian? :/)

Warning: Strong Language.

Disclaimer: I don't own Glee.

Big Brother: Heart-to-Heart

Monday 23rd of July. 1:20am

"I think it's about time we had a heart to heart" Carson said from where he was sitting on his double bed leaning against the head board. Sebastian was lying on his bed with his journal out, writing away, filling page after page. He'd never pegged Sebastian as the kind of guy to keep a journal and he'd never seen him write in one before, he thought that maybe it could be to do with all of the thoughts and worries over Kurt and Blaine and the subject they still hadn't discussed, his new job in London.

Sebastian scoffed, not looking up from his journal "Blaine's in the next room Carson." He let out a sigh not expecting him to have reacted any other way, he had never been one for talking about his feelings. He tended to keep them to himself, locking them up and letting them get bigger and bigger until one day he wouldn't be able to handle it any more and he'd explode.

He reached over and took Sebastian's journal, making sure to shut it before he could catch any of the written words, that was private and he only wanted to know what Sebastian would tell him. "Hey give that back you ass" Sebastian said trying to reach for his journal back. Carson decided to sit on it, meaning Sebastian would be less likely to go after it considering they were both tired as it was half past one in the morning.

"No" he scolded reaching out for Sebastian's arm "not until we talk about this Seb" he more or so demanded and he could tell by his friends expression that he didn't like being spoken to in that tone. Well tough, he thought, he's going to have to put up with some tough love if he's going to be so stubborn about this.

Sebastian sat up straighter and glared at him as if hoping he would back down, unfortunately he wasn't feeling kind today so he stood his ground and five minutes later his friends body sagged and he sighed. "Fine, what do we need to talk about C because I really can't be fucked right now" he said burying his face in his duvet.

He hated seeing his friend so defeated, so vulnerable but he was only going to remain the same way if he didn't talk about it with anyone. "You know what we need to talk about Seb" he said softly leaning forward and putting a comforting hand on Sebastian's head. "I'm not doing this to torture you you know, you need to talk about this otherwise it's going to eat you up" Carson said hoping he would understand.

A muffled "I know" came from him and he smiled sadly, hopefully this was all Sebastian needed to start talking. After a few moments of lying in the duvet he sat up straighter before getting off of the bed completely, deciding to snuggle up next to him under the covers instead. "I know you want me to talk about Kurt and Blaine but I don't know what you want me to say" he said sounding helpless.

He was about to come up with an easy question to ease them into the subject but Sebastian was already talking. "Kurt and I broke up yesterday" he ignored the fact it was actually two days ago because they hadn't gone to bed yet, so technically in his mind it was still Monday. "We broke up because Kurt is in love with Blaine and Blaine is in love with Kurt" he said to no one in particular. "I mean, how did this happen? How did I end up falling in love with my ex boyfriends soul mate? How does that even happen?" he asked desperately glancing at him.

Carson was a bit shocked at his previous words to respond which is why Sebastian carried on talking, love? He asked himself before glancing at the heartbroken expression on his friends face. He was, is, did love Kurt? How did I not know this? Why didn't he say anything to me? He must be going through so much more pain then he'd originally thought. Going out with someone and loving someone are two different experiences when it comes to the ending of the relationship.

"Yes I love him Carson," Sebastian said obviously picking up on his confusion. "I know we've only known each other for a while but I guess in some ways I'm just like Blaine. I fall too hard, too fast sometimes" he said with a small shrug. Carson missed the way he said 'love' but that was a conversation for a different time. He went to apologise, for what he wasn't sure, when he was stopped. "Don't Carson. I don't regret it so you have nothing to be sorry about" he said with a smile.

The two sat there for a moment in silence, a comfortable silence. Carson sat there, cuddling his pillow giving Sebastian time to think over his words and the situation. He knew how hard it must be for him, even if he did forgive them, it must still be hard.

"You know," Sebastian said more to himself a few moments later, "you would've thought I'd hate them both, but I can't. I know, just as well as those two do that not everything is a choice. I know them both well enough to know that they would never do anything intentionally to hurt me" he said smiling at him, "they just aren't those sort of people."

He smiled back putting a hand on his arm, "I know they'd never do anything to hurt you, and I know it wasn't their choice, but you don't have to hate them for it to hurt Seb" he said with a reassuring smile hoping he'd picked the right thing to say to keep him talking.

"Why does it hurt so much? I mean I know it's not intentional, but why do I feel like this?" Sebastian looked and sounded so vulnerable, a vulnerable side of him that he'd never seen to this extent. He didn't look like the twenty-three year old he was, he looked like that seventeen year old version of himself he'd seen so long ago.

"It hurt's because you care Sebastian, and that's a really good thing." Sebastian scoffed as he wiped some tears from his cheeks, "no trust me. It's good because that means you care. We'd rather have an emotional, crying Sebastian then a Sebastian that doesn't give a fuck." He paused and looked at his friend wondering if he could take it. "You have every right to be angry at them Sebastian, you have every right to hate them, and the fact you don't, says so much about you as a person" he said wrapping his arm around his shoulder.

Sebastian wasn't sure how he had ended up in this conversation, he never had heart to hearts with people, just his trusty journal that only Carson knew about, and that was only because he couldn't exactly hide it when they were sharing the same room. Yet here he sat, with Carson's arm wrapped around his shoulders and pulling him close as he tried to make him understand the situation his was in.

He'd only ever been in a mildly similar situation before and that was when Blaine flew home that weekend to break off their relationship claiming that long distance was too hard on them both. Just like now, he knew that Blaine wasn't doing this to hurt him, back then he had done it because he thought it was right, and that's what he had done this time. He'd ended things with Kurt because it was what was right.

He could tell himself over and over that he initiated the break up for Kurt, so that Kurt would be happy with the person he was supposed to be with, but deep down he knew that wasn't the only reason. He needed to break up with Kurt because if they continued dating, Kurt would eventually realise he was supposed to be with Blaine and he would end up hurt and alone and worse off then he was right now.

Sebastian knew he'd done the right thing and he knew deep down that he still loved both Blaine and Kurt and that he always would, so no he didn't hate them and no he didn't blame them. So why did it have to hurt so much?

"I think of you as my brother in every way possible Sebastian, and you have every right to want to scream and shout and yell or do whatever it is you want" Carson said smiling at him. "Now I didn't expect to get this much out of you so if you want to go back to writing in your journal then I shall let you, or if you want to carry on talking to me then that's perfectly acceptable too." For the sake of the moment he decided not to snap at the use of tone, I'm twenty-three not freaking twelve.

Carson was smiling at him and giving him the option to keep everything to himself and he hated that he was considering telling Carson everything. Don't get him wrong they'd pretty much covered everything from that short conversation, but still. Did he want to tell Carson, or did he want to tell his journal, only one of them would talk back to him or understand, but was that what he wanted right now?

He dropped his gaze to where his hands were fiddling with Carson's duvet and smiled "I don't know what else to say." He took a deep breath "I mean I do hate them for what they've done but then I don't hate them because it's not their fault. They didn't chose to have this connection Kurt didn't chose to go out with me just to break up with me for Blaine and Blaine tried, and failed" he said with laugh, failed miserably "to let Kurt and I be together, it just didn't work because Kurt and I were never supposed to be together."

His tears had stopped now and he wasn't sad anymore, he just had this terrible ache in his chest that he knew probably wouldn't go away any time soon but that was something he'd decided he could live with. He let out a sigh of relief, happy to have said his piece, he'd told Carson about how he was feeling, he'd cried like a baby and he hoped now that he would be able to move on from this.

Of course Carson had other idea's and happened to ask the one question he didn't want to deal with. That subject was purely for his journal and his journal only. "What do you think about the idea that now you and Kurt are over, that Blaine and Kurt might start dating?" he asked quietly, not looking at him but his grip on his shoulders getting tighter.

He sucked in his breath and wished that Carson would take the question back because he didn't want to deal with that. He knew that it would happen and he knew that he would be okay with it, but why did Carson want him to talk about it? This wasn't fair. "God Carson! Why are you being so god damn pushy this is nothing to do with you" he snapped pushing his arm off and climbing out of bed only to then stand awkwardly by the door.

Sebastian knew he shouldn't have snapped, he knew that Carson was only doing this for his own good but this was what he did. When anybody got to close to him he would snap and push back, putting up a barrier so that they couldn't get any closer, wouldn't want to get any closer. That used to work on strangers, still does, but when it comes to any of the three boys in this house, it never worked. They always knew.

That was why he turned to see Carson sat on the bed watching him carefully, he didn't look mad or angry, hurt or sad, it was worse. He looked sympathetic and understanding. "Sorry" he said throwing his hand out in front of him as if Carson would've expected such a reaction. Carson nodded in acceptance and just sat there, smiling softly at him and waiting for him to continue. So with a frustrated sigh he decided the sooner he spoke his thoughts aloud the sooner he could go to sleep.

"What do you want me to say? Kurt and Blaine are going to start dating, they're soul mates. I want them to be happy and them being together will make them happy, so that will make me happy" he said hoping that would be enough of an explanation. "As long as they're happy then so am I" he more or so told himself, crossing his arms and staring at Carson. He didn't look convinced.

He sighed in frustration "god! Okay fine. Does the idea of Kurt and Blaine dating upset me? Yes it does. Does it upset me that Kurt loves Blaine more then he loves me? Yes it does." He was pacing back and forth in front of Carson's bed, his arms gesturing wildly and his eyes focused. "Do I hate them for wanting to be with each other instead of wanting to be with me? No, I don't."

"I know that I will be having endless conversations with both Blaine and Kurt about their feelings for each other! I know I will have to sit through endless coffee dates with them as they go on and on about how amazing the other is, and as much as that should probably upset me, hurt me. I don't why, but it doesn't. For some reason I have idea no why, I look forward to all of those things!" He practically yelled and he knew he had to keep his voice down it was too early in the morning to be screaming.

He came to a stop in front of Carson's side of the bed, leaning against the wall with a smile. "I look forward to hearing them tell me about their dates, I look forward to hearing all of the random things they do together. I look forward to hearing how Blaine proposes, I look forward to attending their wedding and I look forward to being their when they welcome their first child" he said turning around and sitting at the end of the bed, dropping his head in his hands.

"Ugh, it makes me some sort of masochist or something, what the fuck is wrong with me?" he laughed at himself. "What kind of ex looks forward to seeing his two ex's get married and start their own family. What the fuck does that say about me?" he asked no one in particular laughing at himself again.

He heard Carson moving behind him and assumed he was crawling towards him on the bed, Carson plopped himself next to him at the end of the bed and wrapped his arm around his shoulder again. "That tells me that you are a great person who loves his best friends, very very much. Enough love to make you forgive and forget and be happy for them." Carson said smiling at him. "It shows that you're an understanding person who cares about his friends too much to let anything get in the way. It says a lot of things about you Sebastian, and none of them are fucked up" he said shaking his head.

Sebastian turned to Carson then and he couldn't help but smile, he dropped his gaze and smiled shyly, not being used to hearing nice things about himself. "I know I don't say it very often C, but I don't what I'd do without you."

"I know," Carson said with a proud smile "I don't know what I'd do without you either so come here" he said pulling him in for a hug. Sebastian wasn't usually one for hugging because it normally made him feel slightly uncomfortable being so close to another person, but when it came to Carson or Blaine, even Kurt, it was when he felt safest.

"Love you Carson" he mumbled into his chest. When Carson wrapped one around his back and moved his other hand to the back of his head he had never felt more like a child in his life, but he'd never appreciated it more when Carson told him he loved him too before kissing the top of his head.

Carson knew there was more to talk about, maybe not about Kurt and Blaine, but now wasn't the time. They still had to talk about the fact that Sebastian would be moving to London in a few months, but he could tell that Sebastian was shattered and he decided to let it go for now. They could talk about it the next time they managed to squeeze in some alone time and when they were a bit more awake.

That was why he pulled back and gave Sebastian a smile before moving him to his side of the bed and tucking him in. It was nearing half past two and he knew that tomorrow morning Sebastian was going to have to talk to Blaine about what he was feeling, so that sleep would do him good. "Night Seb" he said quietly turning off the light from where he was now tucked up in bed.

"Night Carson" Sebastian said around a yawn before drifting off into oblivion. He wasn't too far behind, the events of the day and evening slowly catching up with him.

So, this took me a while to write and it was actually kind of nice to be able to write Carson and Sebastian alone together. There might be more of this to come, who knows?

Thank you for reading all my silly little on shots and stories!

Love Kaylee xx