A/N: Disclaimer: I don't own Glee, anything mentioned, any songs, quotes, or books used.

Chapter 38: Carry Me Home

"I had taken the long way around, but I was finally home to stay."

-S.E. Hinton; The Outsiders

/

Things hadn't been running exactly smoothly for Quinn and Rachel ever since they returned to New York from their trip home. They both knew that living together and struggling to make ends meet was going to be tough. They weren't really struggling for money yet; as they were living off of Quinn's prize money from the Norman Mailer award she won as well as the rest of the money Rachel's dads had invested for her. But they knew that wouldn't last forever.

Quinn was working on the film that she was reshooting with Kim and Eric and the pay was pretty good for a first time- independent- film but again it would not be enough.

And Rachel… Rachel was struggling with many things; the least of which were the Broadway audition rejections that were piling up, the most of which was her pride. She hated being a kept woman and letting Quinn pay all of the bills. Deep down she knew it was only temporary and Quinn reassured her as often as possible but still, she hated it.

She hated every second of it and it was putting a strain on their relationship.

They were in a rut.

Emotionally, physically, and sexually.

Yes Rachel and Quinn weren't having sex and they hadn't been in over a month.

And they both knew that it wasn't good.

But right now they were facing other struggles; Quinn was working such late hours on the film and Rachel was out all day, every day, trying to get a role… any role.

At this point she would be thrilled if she got another off Broadway role; but nothing. She suspected it had a lot to do with being distracted by her life during these auditions; and not being able to lose herself in the role like she normally did.

It was frustrating.

She wanted to scream, she wanted to cry.

She wanted to pour her heart out to Quinn and then make love to her all night long.

She wanted to connect with Quinn on the level she had always been able to in the past but she couldn't.

For the first time since she was 15; she didn't know how to connect with Quinn.

For the first time Quinn didn't feel like home to her.

And that was utterly terrifying.

/

Quinn was miserable at the moment. She hated that she was working such long hours. She hated that Rachel resented her for taking care of them.

She hated that she had no choice but to take care of them.

She hated that Rachel hadn't touched her in over a month; and she hated that she stopped trying too. But mostly she hated the distance.

She hated that after fighting tooth and nail for four years to stay together while there were 83.3 miles between them. They had since become the most distant they had ever been and they were now living under the same roof… again.

She hated that Rachel was sad.

That they weren't connecting… or barely even talking.

She hated being a grown up.

She wanted it all back; the carelessness, the sexting, the hot desperate sex against the wall of a train station bathroom. She thought that finally getting to be together would change everything.

She just never thought it would change it in a bad way.

In the worst way.

She and Rachel were struggling in ways they never had before and it fucking sucked.

/

Quinn's return to New York had been a whirlwind.

As soon as she arrived at the end of summer she almost immediately began working on the film. It all began when Kim contacted her while she was still in Lima to tell her that a small independent film company bought the film and wanted it to be re-shot exactly the same way but only professionally and in New York City. It didn't take long for Kim and Eric to arrive in New York and then just like that filming was underway.

She was happy.

And knew Rachel was proud of her.

But she also knew Rachel was beating herself up about not being successful right out of the gate and that was also causing strain. Long hours away from Rachel coupled with the fact that Rachel hadn't been as instantly successful as they both thought she would be; wasn't helping.

She hated that Rachel's hope was waning; she hated that Rachel was resentful – not of her success but of the fact that she herself wasn't.

Quinn reassured Rachel as much as possible but with her long hours on set and Rachel's full days of auditions they had lost the most important thing.

Communication.

Quinn was in the middle of a scene when something caught her eye. She looked up and didn't break character but she smiled internally at the sight of Mike standing in the back of the shoot. They were currently filming in Central Park; and since they were nobody's filming a nothing film the security was virtually non-existent.

When Kim yelled cut; Quinn smiled like a fool and rushed over to Mike, practically tackling him in a hug. He gripped her tight and hugged her back.

"What are you doing here?" She asked with excitement.

"I was in the neighborhood… I thought I'd come by and take you to lunch," she pulled out of the hug and nodded.

"I would love that," she patted his shoulder and smiled her real smile for the first time in weeks. "But I have one more scene to shoot before we break for lunch… if you can wait."

"Yeah," he shrugged. "I'm free all day." Her smile widened at those words and then Kim called for her to take her mark. Quinn winked at Mike before she did as she was told. She watched as Mike tucked his hands into her pockets and watched her work. She nailed her scene in the first take having been truly happy for the first time in weeks.

She missed Mike… she missed all of her friends. During college they were pretty much at each other's disposal but now it was different.

Not bad.

Just different.

Everyone had their own lives… and struggles. They weren't kids anymore and sometimes she wanted it back. It had only been a few months and she already wanted it back. She shook her head and pushed all the negative thoughts from her head and Mike watched in amazement as his friend changed from the stressed out and struggling Quinn Fabray into a carefree college student on the precipice of the life she had always dreamed of.

And of course Quinn nailed it.

Because she was literally living it.

He knew from Tina and talking with Rachel himself that they were going through a rough time and he literally just hoped he could try and help. Quinn was his best friend and he just wanted to help her.

Once they broke for lunch; Quinn and Mike were having lunch at a nearby café. They were sitting in silence quietly eating until Mike finally spoke.

"So what is going on Quinn?"

"What do you mean?" She tried to not show him just how much was wrong. She was constantly trying to hide what was happening from their friends- when they had time to see them that is- and she knew Rachel was hiding as much as she could as well. Every one of their friends had always turned to them in the past whenever they needed advice because they were so solid. Neither girl wanted their closest friends to know everything that they had built all of these years was slowly crumbling around them.

"You know exactly what I mean," he said as he toyed with the food on his plate. With those words and the look he was giving her he saw her mask slip. He knew that she needed to talk about this with a friend and he hoped he was just the friend she would lean on.

"I don't know Mike I… I just don't even know… but I do feel like I'm losing her. Like I'm losing everything."

"Come on Quinn, you don't give up so easily. I know it… and so do you."

"Yeah but… what if she is giving up too?"

"You don't actually believe that do you?" He asked with is eyebrow arched. She shook her head no because words were currently evading her and she knew that Mike didn't need words anyway. He knew what she was feeling.

"You and Rachel are the strongest people I know; both physically and emotionally. And you're both way too determined, insufferable, and pig-headed to let this… whatever this is; destroy all that you have together," she let his words wash over her and then she smiled.

And it was her first real smile while thinking about Rachel in more than a month.

She smiled at work, and she smiled for Rachel of course but none of it was real. Not since she and Rachel had stopped communicating. She fucking hated when they would shut down on each other like this; and she knew she was every bit to blame as Rachel was.

But Mike did it.

Mike made her feel like herself again and even if it was only for a moment, she would take it… and enjoy it for as long as it should last.

"Thanks Mike," she told him in between bites of her food. "You always get me. You always have," he grinned at that.

"That's because we're a lot alike," she rolled her eyes but she was confident that he knew she was teasing; and he did.

"Yeah well, we're a lot alike except for my crazy… and the way I always hide from my problems instead of facing them." He shook his head no but she continued anyway. "No, I mean I thought I had outgrown the running, and the hiding, and always letting the fear win… but nope," she popped the p. "Nope… here I am still as stupid and immature as always. I'm letting the greatest woman in the world drift further and further away from me and what am I doing about it? I'm just letting it happen."

"I don't see it that way," Mike said simply.

"How do you see it then?"

"I see that while in the past you'd run and hide; and Rachel would stop you." Quinn nodded at the truth behind those words. "But this time, it's Rachel doing the running, and the hiding… all you're doing is letting her," he stopped because he knew she was letting his words sink in.

"What do I do?" She finally asked when she realized that he was right.

"Don't let her," he said again very simply. And she raised her eyebrows in disbelief.

As if it were so simple- she thought.

He knew she needed more. "Seriously Quinn; don't you let her. Whenever you would run and hide what exactly would Rachel do?"

"She'd give me time to settle down but she would never let me hide too long, or run too far away." He held his hands in the air and she nodded.

He was right.

She had to fight for Rachel this time.

She had to prove to her that she wasn't going anywhere and no matter how angry Rachel may get with her, or how sad Rachel became, or even how far they had drifted, she has never and would never give up on her.

Or on them.

"You're right," she told him as if it were an epiphany and Mike who continued to always be a gentleman merely nodded and shrugged.

"You'll fix this Quinn, I have no doubt." She shot him a smile in return because for the first time in over a month she didn't either.

Not one single doubt.

She just needed to convince Rachel.

Rachel was annoyed.

Which was kind of a normal mood of hers at this point; but she was especially annoyed today because she knew she had just blown another audition and as she stormed out of the theater she knew someone was following her.

She knew he was following her.

And that fucking pissed her off.

"Rachel!" He called and she rolled her eyes and even growled a little. She wanted to keep walking but she knew he'd keep following so she stopped and turned to face him with a fierce glare in her eyes; and her hands on her hips.

"What!? What… do you want… Jesse?" She growled and he stopped… a few feet from her.

"I-I just want to talk… Can we maybe grab some lunch?" Again she growled, again she rolled her eyes…

And again she was annoyed.

Twenty minutes later she glared at him from across a table a Starbucks.

There was no way in hell she was going to have lunch with him; she did however, agree to coffee and she purposely went to the Starbucks that Santana worked at. That way if Jesse annoyed her too much Santana would be there as backup.

She absolutely loved having Santana as a friend.

Especially at times like this.

"Okay, I'm here… what do you want?" She asked and annoyance was once again clear in her tone like it had often been in the last month or so; but she didn't care. She was tired, angry, horny, and she missed her girlfriend desperately. Jesse was the last person she wanted to be dealing with right at this moment.

"Look Rachel, have you ever done something that you instantly regret?" She crossed her arms over her chest and glared at him. When it was clear that she was not going to answer he continued. "Ever since the day that I threw eggs at you, I have regretted it. I have wanted to make it up to you; I wanted to find you and show you that deep down I am a great- good," Rachel scoffed and he smirked. "Well at least a good guy," this time she laughed and it was in a much more kind hearted way.

A much more Rachel Berry way.

"Look Jesse, all of that stuff is in the past. I am over it."

"Are you?" He question with an eyebrow rise. "Because there are times when I don't even have to speak and you show nothing but distain."

"Well that is because you're arrogant and highly irritating."

"How do you know?" He challenged and this time her eyebrow arched. "I mean… I have changed but you don't know that because you barely acknowledged my existence the entire time we worked together." Rachel smiled sadly as she realized that he was right. She hadn't given him a chance, even though she had agreed that she would.

"I'm sorry Jesse."

"You don't have to be, that is what I'm saying." Again she arched her eyebrow and he withheld a laugh at how much constantly being around Quinn was rubbing off on her.

"I found a home here in New York Rachel, and it was because of you. At Nationals when the New Directions finally beat me," she smiled at the memory. "You showed me the kind of determination it would take to make it. And how you blew Carmen Tibideaux away; thoroughly earning your place at NYADA. I was impressed Rachel; I was inspired, and I got on the first train out of Ohio; to here… to New York City and I haven't once looked back. You did that for me and I wanted to thank you. Would I like to be your friend Rachel? Sure… but it's not necessary and I completely understand it, if you're not interested. But I hope that one day we will again be sharing the spotlight… and hopefully on a much bigger stage. And my hope is that one day you can look at me fondly as someone you once knew," Rachel couldn't fight the smile that his words were bringing her. "Because Rachel, I will always look at you as the girl who changed me. You belong on Broadway Rachel… it's your home. I just hope to bear witness when it happens."

"Thank you Jesse… and I hope all of those things for you as well." They shared a knowing smile. They would probably never be friends but maybe they could be proud of each other and that would be enough.

Maybe they could focus on the good they did for each other. How he annoyed her just enough to make her better; and how she changed him.

"The fuck do you want Assface?" Santana's voice broke them out of their moment. Rachel looked at her friend with pride in her eyes while Jesse merely laughed at her.

Some things would never change.

"Nice to see you too Santana," Jesse said to her with a stupid grin on his face; and- of course- Santana sneered at him.

"Shut it!" She looked away from him and over to Rachel. "Is he bothering you?"

"He always bothers me," Rachel answered with a playful smirk. "But it's fine Santana, thanks." She nodded once and then looked back at Jesse.

"I gots my eye on you St. Jerkoff," he laughed but also nodded; and they both watched Santana leave.

"She's always so pleasant."

"Yeah well don't feel special or anything, she's like that with everyone… especially me."

"That's just how she shows she cares," he told her and Rachel nodded with a knowing smile. She certainly knew that about Santana; but she was also one of her closest friends and it was funny to her that even Jesse- who for all intents and purposes was hated by Santana- could see through her façade.

"I know," Rachel said fondly.

"I like that you have her… and Quinn of course. I like that you have people that know and appreciate how special you are."

"Yeah well they're my family," Rachel told him.

"I know… I've always known," he said with a pained look on his face. She knew a part of him regretted that he didn't make any real friends at Carmel; or even when he was at McKinley. She knew he regretted the way he behaved back then.

"I'm going to get going," Jesse said getting to his feet. "Thank for listening to me Rachel and maybe now in the future; if our paths cross we can smile, wave, and maybe share a pleasant conversation. You know instead of running away in fear or from annoyance." He watched as her smile widened. "Annoyance on your part… fear on mine," he continued. "Especially if Quinn is with you." She laughed and then her heart ached for Quinn. She didn't want Jesse to see her façade crumbling around her so she put on her show smile and held out her hand.

"I'd like that."

"Me too," he took her hand and gently shook it. "Goodbye Rachel."

"Goodbye Jesse," as he turned to leave Santana was walking toward them.

"Santana, always a pleasure."

"Fuck you St. James," she called and she saw him chuckling as he left. Once he was gone Santana took the seat he had been in and looked Rachel over. "What did he want?"

"Shouldn't you be working?" Rachel tried again to hide behind her mask. Santana shook her head.

"I'm on break... what's wrong?" Rachel couldn't hold back anymore and she started to cry. Santana's mouth fell open as Rachel's head fell into her hands.

"Did Jesse… I'll kill him," Rachel was shaking her head no but Santana was already on her feet. She was only stopped by the tug of Rachel's hand on her wrist; she looked back at her crying friend.

"He didn't do anything," Rachel said trying and failing to get her tears under control. Santana calmed down and immediately sat back down.

"Then why the water works?"

"It's Quinn," was all Rachel said and Santana's stomach dropped.

"I-Is she… is she hurt?" Before the words had even completely left her mouth Rachel was again shaking her head.

"She's fine," Santana exhaled loudly. "I didn't mean to worry you it's just… it's just I'm not so sure our relationship is at all fine," at those words Santana melted. She could literally see Rachel's pain, she could also feel it. She knew that she and Quinn were going through a rough patch but she hadn't been too worried about them because they were Rachel and Quinn; they always fixed their shit. Santana covered Rachel's hand with her own.

"Tell me Rachel," Rachel shook her head no but Santana persisted. "Stop holding it in."

"You'll tell her," Rachel cried. "She's your best friend."

"I won't," Santana promised and Rachel raised her head. She knew that the girl was telling the truth and in that moment she couldn't- like literally couldn't- hold it in anymore.

And in true Rachel Berry style she started rambling while Santana just sat there and listened.

"We're not connecting Santana. The girl I have been in love with since I was fifteen years old is like a stranger to me right now and it's driving me crazy. We're barely talking, we're certainly not touching. She's working so much and I'm not working at all. I hate the fact that she's paying all of the bills, and she knows I hate it. I resent her for it, and she knows I do… but we both know it has to be this way right now and I hate that too," She took a deep breath before continuing her rant. "I hate that I'm failing on Broadway… already. I think I'm going crazy and I'm quite certain that I am losing her Santana."

"You're not."

"I feel like I am."

"I know, but you're not. Quinn is yours, she's always been yours, and she always will be yours," Rachel relaxed a bit because despite their current troubles she knew without a doubt that Santana was right.

Quinn was hers.

And she was Quinn's… always.

"What do I do, how do I fix this?"

"Well for one, you need to stop resenting her for doing what needs to be done."

"I know," Rachel said blowing out a puff of air in frustration. She again dropped her head into her hands.

"Also… I know it's not Broadway or anything remotely fabulous but… we're hiring here," she said and watched as Rachel lifted her head and their eyes met. "It'll help pay the bills and maybe take some of the stress off until Broadway comes calling." Rachel nodded and the tears were still streaming down her face. "I mean it sucks, and it's demeaning but it'll also help pay the bills and it'll give you all the more reason to get the fuck on Broadway where you belong," Rachel smiled through her tears.

"Thanks Santana," she said gratefully and Santana nodded.

"As for the other stuff… You and Quinn will work it out, you always do. I mean what's the alternative right?" Rachel wiped her face and let out a watery chuckle at the thought of not working it out with Quinn.

Like that would ever happen.

"Quinn and I will always be together."

"I know… now let's go get you a job so that you can go home and fuck Quinn into a wall," Rachel's eyebrows rose in shock at her words. Santana shuddered as the realization of what she just said washed over her. "Ugh gross! I cannot believe I just said that."

"Me neither," Rachel agreed and followed it with a laugh and it was a real laugh; she hadn't felt this good, and confident, in over a month and she suddenly felt as though everything would be okay.

She knew it would take time… and a lot of effort but everything would be fine.

She knew it.

She could feel it.

Now she needed to go home and make sure Quinn knew it.

Brittany was sitting on the couch when Santana stormed into the apartment and tossed herself onto the couch next to her.

"Rough day baby?"

"Yeah but um… not me," she confirmed and at that Brittany was curious. "I was working today and Rachel came in with Jackass St. Jerkoff," Brittany withheld a laugh; she didn't need to be told who Santana was referring to although she was a bit confused as to why Rachel would be with him.

"Why?" She asked with a curled lip and Santana shook her head.

"Don't know…" she trailed off and Brittany could tell that she was lost in thought; so she waited patiently until Santana talked again. "That's not important. I think he just wanted to remind Rachel that he is awesome or something… you know how his arrogant fucking brain works," this time Brittany did laugh.

"Yeah I do… but you said he's not the important part," Santana nodded. "So what is?"

"Rachel and Quinn."

"Oh god they didn't like do it on the table at Starbucks did they?" Santana laughed in spite of her worries and she shook her head no.

"No… I wish it was that," Brittany arched her eyebrow at her girlfriend. "And you know how much Rachel and Quinn's horniness annoys the fuck out of me," Brittany nodded. "But I think them having troubles worries and annoys me even more."

"What's wrong with them?"

"Everything Britt," Santana said glumly. "I mean if Rachel and Quinn can't fucking work it out… how is there any hope for the rest of us? Those two are stupidly in love."

"Well, what is so wrong that you think they're in trouble?"

"They're not talking… Rachel resents Quinn for paying all the bills," Brittany bit her lip and Santana knew she was worried now as well. And if Brittany is worried; then it's really bad. "Quinn is just sitting idly by and letting Rachel drift away… and Rachel is failing at Broadway."

"What?" Brittany nearly screamed and was shaking her head. She believed that she and Quinn were having problems but she didn't for one second believe that Rachel was failing at the one thing she wanted to do with her life; but Santana nodded. "How?"

"She's so distracted by this stuff with Quinn that she keeps fucking up," Santana finished and silence engulfed them both as they thought about how in the hell those two had gotten to this point.

"Well we gotta help," Brittany finally said and Santana's smile widened. She knew Brittany would be right there with her on this.

"I was hoping you'd say that."

"What are you thinking?" Brittany wondered.

"I was thinking that you and I should visit a sex toy shop," she waggled her eyebrows and though Brittany thought she looked adorable she shook her head.

"Not every problem can be fixed with sex Santana."

"Come on this is Rachel and Quinn we're talking about," Santana teased but Brittany was laughing.

"Even they can't fix everything with sex."

"I know… I was just teasing." Santana promised. "But I was thinking that maybe we could do something nice like surprise them with a nice dinner and let each of them think the other one planned it." It was quiet for a few moments while Brittany swooned over her girlfriend.

"You're so romantic San."

"Ugh, no I'm not."

"Yes you are," Brittany said and leaned over. She straddled Santana's lap and ran her fingers through her hair. Santana's hands landed firmly on Brittany's magnificent hips. "And I love it," Brittany leaned over and kissed her.

"How about dinner and a show?" Brittany suggested.

"Ooh yeah that's a good idea," Santana said before Brittany's lips were covering hers again. This time when Brittany pulled back Santana whined.

"I love how much you care about our friends Santana; especially Quinn and Rachel… it's so fucking hot."

"Yeah well they're my family."

"Mm hmm," Brittany kissed her again and started to grind her hips into Santana's who gasped at the contact.

"And this is their home."

"Mm hmm."

"Oh fuck… and I don't want them to leave so it's really just me being selfish."

"Don't ruin it baby… it's hot how you defend them and fight for them," Brittany circled her hips again and Santana lost all pretenses of thought. Instead she pulled Brittany into a fiery kiss and started to pull her clothes off.

Tomorrow they would worry about Rachel and Quinn.

Tonight was about carrying each other home.

Rachel was just finishing the cleanup from dinner when Quinn finally arrived home. Quinn could hear her in the kitchen and she followed the sound.

"Hey babe," she greeted and saw that Rachel was drying her hands on a kitchen towel.

"Hey… I just put the rest of the food away but I can heat it up for you if you'd like," Rachel told her and saw that Quinn was already shaking her head no.

"No that's okay, I ate on set," Rachel bit her lip and nodded. Quinn could tell that she wanted to say something but that she was keeping it inside. "I'm sure it was good… what did you make?"

"Just some pasta," Rachel told her and walked past her into the living room. She was so fucking annoyed. She had so much to say to Quinn. So much hope had been restored earlier with Santana and now it was back to the same awkward and forced communication.

She felt like a fucking stepford wife.

And she fucking hated that.

"Rachel," Quinn called as she joined her in the living room. "I'll eat it if it really means that much to you." With those words Rachel snapped; she turned on her heel and glared at a stunned Quinn.

"I don't give a fuck if you eat the pasta or not!" She screamed and then covered her mouth.

"Then what do you give a fuck about huh Rachel… because from what I can see it's not much anymore?" Quinn was stunned by her own words and wanted to take them back as soon as they left her mouth. She wanted to apologize, she wanted to do what Mike told her to do earlier and fight for Rachel, and she wanted to do so many things.

She wanted to run and hide herself but she didn't.

Instead she just stood there while Rachel stormed into the bedroom and slammed the door behind herself.

And again Quinn just stood there.

It took several moments to finally move and instead of heading for the door like she wanted to do; she fought every single one of her instincts and rushed toward her bedroom door instead.

When she opened it she saw Rachel sitting on their bed; their eyes met and for the first time in a while they both only saw passion staring back at them.

"Rachel, I-I-I'm sorry," Quinn walked closer to her and Rachel got to her feet.

"Are you? Or are you finally saying what you mean?" Rachel said and she felt Quinn's body stop just before pressing against her own. She could feel the heat radiating from Quinn's body, and she missed it… she missed it so fucking much. She could felt tingles spread throughout her body and the touch felt like home.

Quinn felt it too.

She wanted nothing more than to press her lips against Rachel's and never stop; but she knew that talking was the most important thing right now. Quinn put her hands on Rachel's biceps and looked down into her eyes.

"I'm sorry Rachel… I'm sorry for saying that, I'm sorry for the distance… I'm so sorry that we let ourselves get to this point when we promised we would never let that happen ever again," Rachel could see the tears swimming in her eyes; and she melted.

"I'm sorry too Quinn," she said with a heavy sigh. She was done, done fighting. She just wanted Quinn back… all of her, all of it. She wanted them back. She wanted to fix this so she started to tell Quinn all that she has been holding back. "I resent you for paying for everything."

"I know," Quinn said honestly. She took a step back because she knew Rachel so well that she knew the girl would need to start pacing as her rant began.

And she was right.

She bit her lip in adoration as she watched the girl she loves more than anything pour her heart out. There were several times that she wanted to interrupt but she knew Rachel needed to say this.

And she needed to hear it.

"I am so sorry for that Quinn. I know you weren't rubbing anything in my face, and I know you're just doing what has to be done to keep a roof over our heads, but I can't help hating that I am such a failure that my girlfriend needs to take care of me. I hate that you are so successful, and all I can do is resent you for it. I hate that instead of living the life we had always dreamed about once you got here; we are miserable. I hate that we don't kiss anymore. I hate that you work so fucking late, I hate that I don't at all… I just hate everything Quinn," her hands had been flailing throughout the entire rant and they finally came to rest on her hips as the tears finally overwhelmed her.

Quinn took two steps over to her and pulled the girl tightly into her arms. Rachel slid her arms around Quinn's waist and collapsed into those arms that had always been and would always be…

Home.

"Baby," Quinn cooed and pressed small kisses to the top of Rachel's head. "I'm sorry too, I'm sorry that instead of listening and understanding you I just let you drift further and further away." Rachel pulled out of her embrace so that she could look into those hazel pools of love that were absolutely everything to her.

"Over the years, whenever I was lonely or lost or sad you would always fight for me Rachel… you would always find me and reassure me that you were there and that I was loved," she saw Rachel nod and a tear slid down her cheek. Quinn reached out and wiped that tear away, letting the next one fall over her hand as she cupped Rachel's cheek. "You always fought for me baby and when it came time for me to return the favor I… I just didn't fucking do it, and I'm so sorry," now Quinn was crying and Rachel shook her head no.

"No Quinn you don't have anything to be sorry for. You're successful, we should be celebrating that but instead I'm being a spoiled brat and whining that I am not successful and I'm mad at you, that you are making it possible for me to stay in New York and continue to fail at the only thing I have ever wanted to do," she was full on crying now.

"Baby," Quinn's voice broke as she spoke because she had only ever seen Rachel Berry this defeated one other time and like last time she was finally going to be there for her. "You're not failing-"

"I am Quinn," she cut her off. "I mean where would I be if you hadn't moved here. I would've already had to go home to Lima… a failure."

"Don't say that-"

"It's true though."

"No it's not."

"Quinn."

"Rachel," Quinn countered. "No, listen to me… if I weren't here you would probably still be living with Santana and Brittany, or even Kurt and Blaine, or Mike and Tina… and you wouldn't be messing up all of your auditions because you're focused on me and us," Quinn turned away but before she could get even a step away she felt Rachel's hand on her wrist.

"Don't run Quinn," Rachel's broken voice said and in that moment Quinn finally saw just how defeated her girlfriend had become.

It was truly heartbreaking.

"I will never run from you again Rachel," Quinn promised and stepped back into her embrace. Rachel's hands moved to her hips and Quinn cupped both cheeks with her hands. "Never again… I am now and always will be yours. I am so sorry about all of this. I'm sorry I left you alone instead of fighting for you the way you always do for me," Rachel nodded. "That won't ever happen again Rachel."

"Promise?"

"I promise," Quinn said and leaned forward finally pressing her lips against Rachel's… and both girls felt it.

Home.

Rachel sighed into the kiss and when she felt Quinn's tongue glide across her bottom lip she moaned and parted her lips. She moaned again when Quinn's tongue filled her mouth and she could do nothing but respond; her body also responded in kind and her fingers tightened around Quinn's back.

Quinn's hands slid from Rachel's face and one moved to cup the back of her head as she deepened the kiss, the other pressed firmly into her back; successfully holding her in place. As the kiss got more and more passionate both girls were fighting their innate desire for each other as well as their instinct to fix this with sex.

Instead Quinn pulled out of the amazing kiss and took one step back.

"Quinn," Rachel whined. "I want-"

"Me too… but baby we need to talk about this. We need to fix what we broke and then we can make love all night."

"Mm," Rachel smiled- her flirting with Quinn smile- and both girls felt a rush of something that finally felt right spread throughout them.

"Rachel… I didn't fight you about this stuff because I knew you resented me for paying the bills but what was the alternative, not paying them?"

"I know that Quinn… a- and I do understand."

"And so do I," Quinn cut her off and saw Rachel smile; her real smile… and she missed it. "That was why I didn't fight… I knew you weren't really mad at me for taking care of you but mad at the situation in which I had to, but Rachel I don't want it to be like this. I want us to be equals. I got lucky with this movie… like literal luck."

"Don't underestimate your talent babe," Rachel said and Quinn smiled in spite of herself.

"See baby, you support me even when you hate it and are a bit jealous of me," Quinn said and Rachel chuckled.

"It's more than a bit Quinn," this time Quinn laughed too. "But I'm also incredibly proud of you. Do you have any idea how frustrating it is to be pissed off and proud of you at the same time?" Quinn nodded.

"Yeah because I am annoyed and understanding of you at the same time," Rachel nodded.

"I was talking with Santana today and she got me a job," she saw Quinn's eyes light up and she hated that in the next breath she would disappoint her. "At Starbucks," she saw the light leave Quinn's eyes at those words.

"Don't give up on your dream Rachel… don't give up on me," Quinn pleaded and Rachel melted. She stepped closer and into those arms one more time.

"I'm not," she reached up and draped her arms around Quinn's neck. "I'm just taking some of the pressure off of myself and off of you," Quinn nodded. "Having a paycheck will help me feel less like a loser, it'll help pay the bills, it'll take some of the strain off of us, and it'll help so that I'm not always so distracted during auditions," Quinn nodded again because it did make sense. But Quinn also didn't want Rachel to forget her dreams in the name of logic.

"Okay," Quinn nodded and fought tears. "I get it but please promise me Rachel Berry that you won't let the everyday toll of working for a living crush your dreams, it happens all the time here and I-" she stopped when she felt Rachel's fingers on her lips.

"I won't," she leaned up on her toes and pressed a sweet kiss to those incredible lips. "And you won't let me," Quinn shook her head no and Rachel kissed her again. When Rachel pulled away she whined at the loss but her eyes fluttered open to see those magnificent brown eyes looking back at her.

"I love you," Quinn whispered and Rachel could hear the fear in her tone. She knew the girl needed to be reassured; and she was glad to do it.

She always would be.

"I love you too Quinn," Quinn's eyes fluttered closed and she exhaled a relieved sigh. "Don't ever doubt that okay," when Quinn's eyes opened again she saw tears swimming in them.

"I didn't really doubt it… I was just sort of afraid that I waited too long to stop you from running and hiding," Rachel smiled.

"You'll never run out of time Quinn… I'll always be yours; I'll always carry you home."

"We took the long way around but we're finally here."

"To stay," Rachel agreed. "Forever," and before the words were fully out of her mouth Quinn was kissing the hell out of her and it was erotic. It was passionate, it was hot.

And it was what they had been missing for well over a month now.

"Oh god Quinn," Rachel moaned as the kiss broke and Quinn's lips were trailing down her neck. "I want you."

"You have me." Quinn reached down and curled her fingers around the hem of Rachel's shirt. She pulled it up revealing all of that soft smooth skin that she had been missing so much and pulled the shirt off of her completely. Rachel smiled at the look of pure want in Quinn's eyes as they raked over her body.

"Make love to me Quinn," she husked and then those dark eyes landed on hers and a small growl left her lips.

"Always Rachel," Quinn promised and with that she backed them up to the bed and did just that.

And also just like that they were right back where they belonged.

In each other's eyes, and arms.

Finally safe, happy… and home.

And they carried each other home all night long.

Like always.

A/N 2: The title of the chapter comes from the song We Are Young by Fun/ Glee Cast