Disclaimer: I own nothing of this Harry potter you speak of. I's only own the plot of my story.
Summary: "This isn't a mission. I'm Just meeting you parents. I know you think they're crazy. But the only way I'm going to 'abort mission' is if somebody chokes someone else, they make a bet of over 50 Galleons and exchange it right then and there, some mud wrestling happens, and they talk about cutting off my bits." Lily Luna's boyfriend said and he was definitely going to have to abort that mission.
Enjoy this freakin' awesome story!
Meet the Parents
"Okay I'm just warning you, they may have saved the wizarding world at some point in time but they are now CRAZY!" Lily Luna Potter was still trying to talk her boyfriend out of meeting her parents. They had apparated onto the path leading to the Potter's house.
They had been going out for quite some time and Dan, the boyfriend, had decided that it was time to meet the parents. Much to Lily's displeasure, because as she claimed ' yeah I love them and all but they're like batshit crazy, seriously'.
"You are over exaggerating, everybody thinks their parents are crazy and I'm sure your parents are very, very pleasent" Dan replied. He had dark blonde hair and pale blue eyes.
knowing that she was getting nowhere she just replied, " Fine, whatever, but if you see me blinking my eyes really fast and clucking my arms. It's my way of saying abort mission."
Dan chuckled, "This isn't a mission Lils," He turned and hugged her," I'm just meeting your parents." He pulled away from the hug, but kept his hands on her arms and looked in her eyes. ", and there's no way I'm leavin." He then saw the pleading look in her eyes and conceded, just a bit. " okay fine, the only way I'm leaving is if somebody chokes someone else," her eyes lit up at that," they make a bet for more than 50 galleons and exchange it while we are still there", her eyes stayed the same,"some mud wrestling happens, and they talk about cutting off any of my bits." She then smiled.
"Well this might go better than I thought." Lily said and then turned and opened the door to her parents house. What she saw was... her parents. Yes, Harry and Ginny Potter. Dancing around around the living room, throwing chunks of brownies up in the air.
"BROWNIES, BROWNIES, BROWNIES!"They chanted. Harry went to the far side of the room and Ginny tried to make the brownies go into his mouth. They then ran towards each other and Harry twirled Ginny around screaming," BROWNIIIIEEEEEEEESSSSSSS"
Dan stood with his mouth slightly parted and eyes wide in shock. Lily just stood there and said, "Meet my parents, Mr. and Mrs. Potter." Just then Albus and James came in, like nothing unusual was happening, went past their parents to the kitchen. They came back with glasses of milk and plates and started picking up pieces of brownie from the floor and putting them on their plates.
Finally lily cleared her throat and yelled," MUM, DAD. I would like to introduce you to Dan... my boyfriend." Harry stopped twirling Ginny around and set her down at his side, they both looked at the couple in front of them.
Then ginny poked Harry in the side and whispered just loud enough for...everybody to hear her," Go get the camera"
"MOM"
"Okay fine" Ginny said in defeat.
Ginny spoke up again, "Why don't you guys just sit down and I'll go get some brownies," she paused and looked at the floor" ... uh yeah on plates and stuff ya know" Dan and Lily sat on one of the two love seats around the living had just finished introducing her brothers when they heard a crash coming from the kitchen that sounded like a plate breaking.
Then they heard Ginny scream,"SHIT..FUUUCK.. DAMN" She came back to room kicking the pieces of brownie with her foot on the floor. " yeah the whole plate thing didn't work out, eat up." she finished kicking some towards Dan.
"Umm, I'm fine" Dan spoke up for the first time.
"WELL, EAT SHIT THEN, nah I'm just kidding don't eat shit cause it's gross. Don't do it even if somebody dares you in your seventh year, and you do it cause you're like hey it comes out of our body how bad can it be and you get sick for a week... anyways would you like something else to eat" Ginny said towards Dan.
"uhh, no, I-i'm fine." Dan replied eyes wide once again. Just then the door burst open, revealing Ron and Hermione. Their clothes was messed up along with their hair.
"Sorry we're late, we were uh playing chess" Ron said with Hermione nodding in agreement.
"Maybe you guys should learn to play chess just at night, so you won't be late to things anymore" Harry said to them, still not forgiving them for being late to his and Ginny's wedding. Considering they were they Best Man and Maid of Honor.
Hermione ignored him and turned to Dan,"Hi, you must Dan, I'm Hermione and this is Ron" she said pointing towards Ron. He just said, ' He looks shady, 'Mione.'They then sat on the loveseat across Dan and Lily.
Ron turned toward Dan and said,"So, Dan what's your favorite color?"
"Red" Dan replied.
"Well isn't it a coincidence that red is the color of blood, Hermione" Ron said with a look on his face that just about said he was going to murder somebody. Hermione shushed him and pulled a book out of her purse and started scanning through.
Once she found what she was searching for she turned to Ron, "Dear look at this interesting spell I found"
"Hmm, what does it do, Dear"
"You see , you just cast the spell and, a man's testicles come off, just like that." She lifted her head up, looked at Dan and smiled, "Instantly!"
Ron was also looking at Dan when he said, " That is interesting Dear, might want to save that one for later"
'One down, three to go' Lily thought. She then noticed Dans discomfort and hugged him. Dan put his arm around. Then ron jumped up.
"OI GET YOUR HANDS OFF MY NIECE" Ron yelled.
Harry and Ginny turned toward each other and said,"Well that brings back some memories." Ron scoffed and sat back down grabbed the book from Hermione.
"OH look 'Mione a spell that makes a mans uh, um, PENIS come off. RIGHT OFF" Ron said pointing to a random place in the book.
Harry looked at Ron like he was stupid and said," Come on Ron that's not a real spell, I mean the one about testicles was, but penis one is NOT a real spell"
"YES IT IS" Ron yelled back.
"NO IT ISN'T" Harry screamed back, just as loud as Ron had.
"OHH LOOK AT HARRY HE"S JUST SO SMART AND KNOWS ALL THE REAL SPELLS" Ron yelled. He then put his shoulders all the way to his elbow , against the sides of his chest. With his forearm held up and his hands flailing around. Like a little girl. He also said in a little girl voice, " OH LOOK I'm HARRY I"M SOOO SMART"
Harry did the same gesture Ron was doing and said in a little girl voice," OH LOOK I'M RON I'M SMART CUZ I LIKE TO PLAY CHESS, CAUSE IT'S SOOO CHALLENGING"
"O YEAH POTTER, YOU WANNA GO"
"BRING IT ON WEASLEY" They started wrestling on the floor. After a second Hermione flicked her wand and mud appeared.
"two down" Lily muttered under her breath. Dan just looked at Hermione in question.
Hermione saw his look and said,"When they do this we just try to enjoy it."
"yeah," Ginny said in agreement then turned towards the mud wrestling," Now take off your shirts"
That's when they stopped and just slowly backed away from each other and into their seats. Harry cast a spell to clean himself up, Ron just stayed muddy.
James spoke up for the first time that day,"So, Dan you want to hear about some of Lily's other boyfriends"
" ..." Dan replied with A LOT of uncertainty
"Awesome. Well you see there was one of my favorites named Tom. He had a huge mole on his face, like right on his cheekbone, yeah that had hair on it," He paused for a second. Then nodded and laughed while saying, " Yeaah, Lot's of hairs. He also had an extra thumb on his left hand, right after his pinky. Yeah to Lily those were all just endearing quirks, apparently." james finished smiling at Lily.
Dan just nodded after he was done. But Lily was now glaring at her brother with her fists clenched,"James how do you know some much about TOM"
James laughed then held up a green notebook," Why this of course, Dear sister," James didn't get to finish because Lily had already pounced across the room, and knocked him off his spot, on the arm of the couch, and onto the floor.
Harry sighed and said,"What's she doing to him,today?"
Ginny casually looked over the couch and said,"yup, Man that's like the third time this week. Right Harry"
"Yeah, I think she might be on her peer peer"
Ron got a look in his eyes and said,"Hey Harry, if that's only the third time this week. Than I bet you 50 galleons that piece of floor right there will be broken this year."
Harry laughed and said, "No way, that's is going to take another year. 50 galleons for next year, Ron"
Ginny spoke up and said,"I bet it will be broken today" Harry and Ron just laughed at her and said sure.
"OK siriusly is nobody going to help james...Fine I'll do it" Hermione then walked to where Lily was still choking James and pulled Lily off of him. With one arm and sat her down next to Dan,"Restrain her." She then sat back down. When she sat back down Ginny left.
James finally got up from the side of the couch, he was now blue, he started walking towards the kitchen. One hand on his neck and one held up pointing to the kitchen." wate, ater,waterr"
Albus started laughing at him and saying," Smurf, smurfy, smurf,smurf,smurfitty,smurfy,smurf" Everybody laughed with Albus, well except Dan.
James came back with a glass of water, once he got the color back in his face. He dumped the rest all over Albus' face,shirt, and pants. " Hahaha. Hey Al, Did you lose control of your pee pee in the restroom again."
"I HAD A FEVER AND IT WAS THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT!" Albus screamed after James who was starting to go back to his room.
Ginny came back as soon as they left with a fanny pack around her waist. She went to the spot where Lily was choking James and kneeled down in front of it. opened her fanny pack and took out a hammer and started smashing the floor. Lily, Dan, Ron, and Harry stared at her in shock.
"Go Ginny, Go Ginny, Go Ginny!" Hermione,the only one not in shock, started chanting that.
"She can't, no, fairrr. noo" Ron and Harry started mumbling.
After a minute of smashing up the ground Ginny got up and put the hammer back in her fanny pack. She Wiped her hands off and turned towards Ron and Harry.
"You Owe me a 100 Galleons"