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© "Naruto" is created and copyrighted by Kishimoto Masashi and owned by Shueisha Publishing Co., Ltd. and TV Tokyo.

Enjoy.

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Alive And Victorious

Chapter 7. Old habits die hard

The sun was setting down and the night was approaching at a rapid pace. The air was becoming cooler, which was an extremely nice thing after another long, hot day. Matsuri got her window wide open, inhaling the fresh waft coming along with the falling twilight. Her friends were sitting around in her room, settled comfortably on her bed and chairs, serving themselves with the exotic dumplings Darui had brought from his last mission in Hi no Kuni. Matsuri's apartment was being visited the most often since she was the only one living alone; not that Matsuri wasn't jealous sometimes, missing her parents or anyone who would have welcomed her when she was coming back home. But she had her friends at least and was grateful for it. Thinking of her friends, she gazed at the Kazekage Tower and ran through its windows, bays and terraces but she couldn't spot anywhere the familiar slender figure with the characteristic mop of red hair.

Just like he had never been there.

"Falling into reverie again, aren't we?" Sari teased. "Yes, he's somewhere there, somewhere there..." she hummed and Matsuri sent her a thunderous look. She hated those allusions, especially because they were partly true. She never told any of her friends but she missed Gaara. Even if she wasn't sure if she really wanted to face him after the disturbing, embarrassing dream she had had, she still missed him.

"He forgot about you," Yakku uttered in a gloomy voice. "He doesn't give a damn for you."

Everyone glanced at him. Matsuri was surprised with his tone but couldn't deny her chest throbbed painfully at those words.

"Gaara-sensei do-"

"Now he is Kazekage-sama," Yakku interrupted fiercely, "and he forgot you have ever existed."

Matsuri shook her head, more to herself than to deny Yakku's words. Since she had come back home after her three-month exile another three months have passed and she hadn't seen Gaara even once. She would have seen him during the mission assignments but the task had been devolved upon Kankurou even if it was usually Kazekage who had been executing it, and the chuunin exam, which Matsuri had thought would be her chance to see her teacher again, took place when she was on the mission.

Six months... without a word, a message, anything. She still believed there had to be an explanation for his disregard though. He had been extremely busy, that was apparent. Matsuri could see herself the intense activity in the Tower. Day and night the messengers, representatives, negotiators and envoys were going in and out, and the council was debating almost constantly. She could see it... but it didn't soothe the feeling of being abandoned.

Did Gaara really took advantage of her naivety and trust and now, when he had achieved his goal, he had just deserted her?

To her dismay the tiny tears sprung to her eyes and she bit her lip. Yakku embraced her gently and when she didn't protest, he tightened his grip on her. Sari and Darui quickly left and before Matsuri could realize they were gone, Yakku brought his lips to her ear.

"Don't think about him, Matsuri," he whispered hoarsely. "He's not worth it."

She moved back and scowled at him with tears blurring her view. Yakku was probably right but she still couldn't stand him insulting her former sensei.

"Don't talk like-" she started when he just leaned forward and gave her a quick peck on the lips. Matsur gasped and flushed, blinking. She put her outstretched palms on his chest, trying to slow down the action. Yakku took one of her hands and kissed her fingertips.

"I wanted to do that for so long," he admitted in a whisper. "But he was always in my way."

Matsuri couldn't choke out a word. All pieces of the jigsaw fell together and she finally understood that none other but she herself was the girl Darui had been talking about while revealing the truth about Yakku's love interests. He likes a girl but she had been, um, kind of interested in someone else... So her friends really thought she was sweet on Gaara!

"I-I-" Matsuri stuttered but Yakku didn't let her speak. He hugged her and tentatively brushed against her lips with his, the movement making Matsuri come to her senses.

"I'm sorry, Yakku, but I-" she began, stepping back and raising her hands as if trying to stop him. "You must have misunderstood... You are my friend but-"

The boy swallowed and Matsuri had to avert her eyes, hurt by the painful expression on his face.

"Is it him?" he asked in a low voice.

"No!" Matsuri, slightly irked, shook her head vehemently. "Why does everyone think so? It's not like that! The reason is I love you as a friend, like Darui-"

"I can't be your friend any longer," Yakku said, gazing away. "It's a torture to me."

Matsuri watched him, despaired. She didn't want to lose his friendship, it was too precious for her, too comforting! On the other hand, she wasn't able to return his feelings, to give him what he wanted. The tears stained her cheeks when she watched Yakku walking away and opening the door.

"If you ever change your mind, let me know," he said and quietly closed the door behind him. Matsuri hid her face in her hands, the rapid weeping shaking her shoulders. The girl threw herself on the bed and cried for two precious people she felt she had irretrievably lost that day.

o0o0o0o

Kankurou went into Kazekage's office, sighing. Until his brother finally took the position, Kankurou really had no idea how many papers, deals, contracts, tasks and problems he would face. Baki didn't overreact a bit when he told him the village's administration and accountancy were just an unruly chaos. After three months the knot had been still - still! - far from being unraveled.

The puppeteer approached Gaara's desk and for a few minutes watched him skimming through the files and making notes.

"You're still here? Let's call it a day and go home, okay?"

Gaara shook his head, his eyes still sticking to the papers. He closed another case and wrote something down.

"I don't have time to rest," he said. "I have to finish this before tomorrow."

Kankurou looked around, searching for his brother's assisstant.

"Why did you send Kotori away? You two would have finished it faster."

The redhead finally raised his eyes.

"Kankurou, I have an urgent work for you to do tomorrow," he announced and the puppeteer scratched his head, dropping into the chair in front of Kazekage's desk. He really wondered what miracle would let him add another task to his to-do list and complete it with a satisfactory result.

"And what would that be, hmm?" he murmured reluctantly.

"You will find me a new assisstant," Gaara answered emotionlessly. "If it would be a woman she has to be forty at least."

Kankurou's laughter shook the walls of the office. Gaara glared at him but it didn't stop the puppeteer who pressed his hand to his stomach, literally howling.

"No problem," he choked out at last. "Man, is she really that bothersome?"

The Kazekage didn't answer and resumed his previous activity. Kankurou watched him from under his brow.

"You know, I saw Matsuri today," he threw in casually. "She's been training with one of my genins, Darui. Her skills are quite impressive."

"Hn," Gaara muttered under his breath.

"I know it's not my business but did you see her at all after she had come back from the border post?"

The redhead shrugged lightly and dipped the quill in ink.

"You know I didn't. I had no time."

"I know but does she know as well?" Kankurou pressed, glancing at his brother intently. It was hard to believe Gaara had been willfully ignoring his former student. Did he already forget what she had done for him? He should have been able to find a few minutes to thank her personally for supporting him in his efforts to gain the villagers' acceptance. Moreover, Matsuri's punishment was caused by her fight with two chuunins during which, as Kankurou had heard, she had been called names strongly connected to her association with Gaara. Wasn't that reason enough to meet her and give her at least a few kind words?

Kazekage didn't show he had heard his brother's last words, so Kankurou raised himself to a standing position and left the office, shrugging. Gaara definitely didn't appreciate prying into his personal affairs and Kankurou, even if he felt a bit sorry for Matsuri, had enough tasks already to occupy himself with.

o0o0o0o

Matsuri waited on the training ground just like she had been told. When she came, there was nobody around, so she started to hit and kick the training dummy. Her last week had been really full of surprises. First Yakku's declaration, and now this.

A few hours earlier a genin had asked her to go to the training ground for a test. Matsuri was puzzled and anxious, wondering what test they meant but, of course, she couldn't guess at all. She decided to ask her friends later if they also received such a message, or maybe it was a stupid joke?

Raising her leg and kicking at her imaginary opponent's jaw she suddenly met the firm resistance of the sand sheet screening the dummy. Matsuri quickly bent herself and, instead of kicking, she made a cartwheel. Just after her feet reached the ground, she jumped high with her knees close to her chest, scanning the area to find her opponent. She spotted him, standing in a distance, from the corner of her eye, and immediately took out shurikens from her holster, flinging them at him. When the shield of sand rose, easily repelling her weapons, Matsuri was certain she knew who she was fighting against. She ground her teeth when she remembered the word 'test'. So this was how she was being welcomed after six months without seeing him? He obviously needed to be taught a lesson or two!

She outstretched her arms, preparing to land on the ground, when Gaara exclaimed: "Suna Shuriken!" Matsuri knew she couldn't dodge the attack so she only clenched her teeth and forced her body to relax, wincing when the whirling sand hit her shoulder, back and thigh. It hurt but she could endure it. As usual Gaara was measuring his attacks not to inflict any serious injuries on her.

She stumbled and fell but quickly pushed herself from the ground and jumped aside. She had been working hard on her taijutsu since she knew it would be very useful while trying to defeat her former teacher. Even if she wasn't physically strong she was light and therefore fast. Running in semicircle the girl watched the sand charging at her like a miniature version of Ryuusa Bakuryuu. She hastily formed the necessary seals and exclaimed: "Doton: Doroku Gaeshi!" The low rock wall appeared in front of her, blocking sand's wave for a moment. Matsuri formed seals again but this time didn't say the jutsu's name outloud. She had been drawn down under the ground and when she reached the spot where Gaara had been standing, she immediately stuck her hands out, attempting to catch her opponent's ankles. Unfortunately, she only heard the muffled order: "Sabaku Fuyuu" and her fingers locked around the empty air. She released the jutsu and emerged from under the ground, gazing around. She couldn't see Gaara anywhere but when the small streams of sand began to pour onto her she looked up at once. Frozen with shock, she observed her former teacher standing on the sand platform, easily floating in midair about thirty feet above her. She had never seen him executing this specific technique and she held her breath, still staring, until the rain of sand got thick and she remembered that Gaara was usually using Suna Shigure as a lure, distracting his opponent from the attack from below. She rapidly pushed herself from the ground and jumped high, not wasting time to glance down, where she was sure the field of the shifting sand was being formed under her feet, preparing to suck her down. It didn't take her long to realize she had been sadly mistaken. The sand, showering from above, whirled in the air like a spring and caught her within a blink. Matsuri tried to fight it off but it was futile, of course, since no human could escape Sabaku Kyuu, at least not without being able to commence very powerful ninjutsu. Suddenly the sand's grasp on her slackened a bit and she would collapse onto the ground if the countless grains didn't support her lightly until she reached the ground. Matsuri growled under her nose, frustrated with her helplessness, while Gaara jumped down onto the ground in a distance and raised his hand. The sand moved back like a low-tide and the girl adjusted her stance, hurling a smoke bomb to the ground. Whe the cloud of the smoke concealed her, she made a clone and left it standing there, forming seals for Shinjuu Zanshu no Jutsu for the second time. She was under the ground again and she was completely surprised when she managed to grab Gaara's ankles and drag him into the earth until only his head protruded out of it. The kunoichi emerged from under the ground but her victory had been denied when her opponent turned into sand dust, obviously being a clone. She hastily jumped aside, seeking for him, and threw kunai blades the moment she spotted him, which he easily blocked with his annoying sand. She needed this distraction, anyway, to gain time to form seals for one of her more advanced techniques, Doton Doryuusou. The hard stone spikes stuck out from the ground, hitting her opponent, but he turned into sand again.

Another clone?

Matsuri slightly bent her legs, scanning the area in all directions. In her right hand she was holding a few shurikens, the other hand was clenched in a fist. She felt the ground shaking and she ran forward with her greatest speed when suddenly the sand under her feet shifted and her calves sunk into it before it hardened like shackles, immobilising her completely.

Gaara approached his former student, watching her vain efforts to free herself. She should have known better than to waste her energy on this. Eventually, Matsuri gave up and stood motionless with her head lowered, instinctively rubbing her forearm, where the purple bruise caused by the sand shuriken's hit was forming. Gaara released her legs and came to a halt in front of her.

"Matsuri, you've grown much stronger," he praised and she blushed slightly with her gaze sticking to her feet.

"Thank you, Gaara-se-" she broke off quickly and flinched. The blush on her face grew darker and spread across her neck. "Thank you, Kazekage-sama," she corrected.

She was still holding her head low and Gaara wondered why. It was apparent she was abashed by his praise but also happy, at least it seemed so. The only thing certain was that she definitely didn't waste those last six months they hadn't seen each other. Her taijutsu was much better and she learnt a few basic doton techniques. He was sure she didn't use all techniques she knew during the fight but it was reasonable. Every shinobi needed to have an ace up their sleeve.

Matsuri shifted restlessly and twiddled her fingers but quickly stopped. The redhead could clearly see she was embarrassed. He himself felt quite awkward, too. What was he supposed to say to her after those six months during which their life had been changed so much?

"Did I... pass the test?" she asked in a squeaky, miserable voice and Gaara frowned.

"What test?" he asked, confused.

"Well... the test," she repeated and he only wanted her to look him in the eye at last. "A genin who brought the message told me I was supposed to go for a test..."

The Kazekage growled inwardly. It was Kankurou who sent the message and he obviously talked quite a bit of a nonsense to the genin who carried it.

"There wasn't any test," Gaara answered firmly. "I only wanted..."

And now he realized already what he wanted to say.

"I wanted to thank you for everything," he epmhasized, putting his hand on Matsuri's shoulder. The kunoichi blenched under the touch and her gaze finally met his. Her eyes widened and the inaudible gasp tore out from her lips while the thoughts raced through her head like crazy.

Was it only her or during the last six months her former sensei turned into the most handsome man she had ever met? It had been six months only. Impossible he would change that much. At first it seemed he still looked the same. The red hair standing in spikes; the bangs too short to cover the scar on his forehead; the piercing eyes making her feel like she was being X-rayed, like he could easily look into her soul and read everything he could find there. There was still the aura of mysterious sadness around him but he also seemed like he was a completely different person.

And maybe, Matsuri thought to herself with disbelief, maybe it was always there but I've never seen it. I've been completely, absolutely blind.

She swallowed, painfully aware she was staring at him in a very improper manner but she wasn't able to stop. She just couldn't take her eyes off him. Well, at least she wasn't the only one who was staring since Gaara's expression apparently matched her own. Matsuri licked her dry lips and his gaze reached the spot, making her hold her breath. Both of them flinched and it seemed they regained their senses.

"I wanted to thank you," Gaara uttered in a low voice, "for everything you've done for me."

"But I-" Matsuri answered and fell silent. It was a nice thing to be modest but denying her own deeds and their effects wouldn't be modesty but belittling herself. Of course she had done much for him. She was continuously repeating to those who listened and to those who didn't that her sensei was a good person, good person, good person... She wanted to prove with her own example that people could get close to him without fear, and finally, when he faced the ANBU assassins, she was ready to sacrifice her life to protect him.

Matsuri looked at him defiantly. Yes, she was willing to sacrifice her life, she had been called filthy names because she had been associating with him, and he did what? He had been elected Kazekage and in an instant he began to ignore her completely, like he really didn't give a damn.

"You're welcome, Kazekage-sama," she sneered and Gaara's eyes widened a bit. Matsuri felt her heart skip a beat while panic overwhelmed her. He is still my superior!, she scolded herself inwardly. I can't talk to him in this manner! The girl parted her lips to let out an apology but Gaara spoke first.

"If you would ever need anything, Matsuri," he uttered, "you can always come to me. Anything."

This statement perplexed her completely.

"Yes, Gaara-se-"

Old habits die hard.

Matsuri couldn't remember when was the last time she had felt so embarrassed. Her cheeks burned and she was positive she must have been red like a sunset. Ducking her head, she could only mutter: "Kazekage-sama, is this all? If it is, I'll-"

"Yes," he answered slowly. "You can go."

o0o0o0o

Matsuri entered Kazekage Tower with her teammates. They waited in front of the room where the missions were being assigned until it was their turn. They walked inside and approached the long table where the Kazekage was sitting with his new assisstant and two councilmen. From the very beginning Matsuri held her eyes sticking to the floor or her shoes while Yaoki stepped in front of them and they listened to the mission details. They were assigned to escort the merchant from Kawa no Kuni who had been heading back home after a couple of weeks spent in Sunagakure. Normal C-ranked mission with a good payment, which made Matsuri satisfied. It wasn't long ago when she had to sell some of her belongings and she needed money now more than anything else.

The kunoichi growled to herself. Since the moment they went into the room Sari had been continuously elbowing her in the ribs. Matsuri ignored it but she promised to herself that right after walking outside she would give her friend such a nudge that Sari would be sorry.

Finally, Gaara finished speaking and the team made for the door. Matsuri successfully resisted the urge to look at him. Three weeks have passed since they fought each other on the training ground. Her former teacher's words soothed a bit the feeling of rejection but Matsuri wondered if he had been honest or just polite and what would he actually do if she really went to him, needing help. Of course she wasn't going to do it. She was a shinobi and she could manage without pathetic pleas. Besides, she knew it before already and now the truth had been confirmed: they were never friends. She chose him to instruct her so he had been teaching her but his mind always wandered somewhere else and she finally got to know where.

She didn't want to think about him; she avoided it as much as she could. Now she was grateful he was a very busy man, sitting all the time in the Kazekage Tower and rarely walking down Suna's streets. She was seeing him only while being assigned the mission and each and every time she was carefully avoiding his gaze, afraid that if she would look at him it would stir up certain... feelings, which she really didn't want to put up with.

Yaoki turned to them when they exited the Tower.

"We meet by the gates in six hours," he commanded and they nodded. "See you soon."

When he walked away, Sari couldn't stay silent anymore.

"Matsuri, did you see-"

She couldn't finish the sentence since her friend nudged her at the ribs with her fist.

"Awww! What for?"

"What for?" Matsuri hissed. "For my side being bruised after were elbowing me all the time!"

Sari raised her hands in a defensive gesture.

"I only wanted you to look at him!"

"At who?" Matsuri asked even if she suspected who the person Sari meant was.

"Who?" Sari snorted. "Kazekage, of course!"

Matsuri cursed inwardly. She hated this topic being touched, especially in Yakku's presence. Since his declaration and her refusal he started to grow apart from them slowly. Sari and Darui noticed it as well but never commented on it and Matsuri never revealed what exactly Yakku had told her during their conversation.

"He was staring at you!" Sari shot and Matsuri winced slightly.

"What?" she frowned, attempting to fight the heat creeping up her cheeks. "What are you talking about?"

Sari leaned forward, putting her hands on her hips and looking Matsuri straight in the face.

"I'M TALKING ABOUT KAZEKAGE," she recited. "And he was staring at you."

Matsuri rolled her eyes nonchalantly. At least she wanted it to look that way.

"Yes," she answered ironically. "The Kazekage was staring at me. Something else?"

Sari shook her head, eyeing her friend with disbelief, while Yakku and Darui mutely listened to the conversation.

"Matsuri, are you blind?"

"Meaning?"

"Meaning he had been staring at you before, and the time before!"

"She's right," Darui suddenly confirmed and Matsuri felt anxious throbbing in her stomach. She wondered what her friends would have said if they knew about her meeting with Gaara on the training ground. They still didn't know about it and she was glad she kept it secret. Sari would never leave her alone if she knew what transpired between her friend and the Kazekage.

Yakku turned away, mumbling something about having to go, and marched down the street. The three followed his steps with their eyes but none of them commented on his odd attitude, only Matsuri glared at Sari.

"You'll see, he'll make a move now," Darui said and Matsuri didn't know if he meant Yakku or Gaara.

The end of chapter 7.

The next chapter: Realization

Hi no Kuni=Country of Fire

Doton: Shinjuu Zanshu no Jutsu=lit. Earth Release: Double Suicide Decapitation Technique (Eng. TV - Earth Style: Headhunter Jutsu)

Kawa no Kuni=Country of Rivers

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