Dear readers, if I could write thousands of words to entertain you, you could certainly give me a few words of feedback, don't you think? ;P
Betareading: Annabella Colt
Story image by tariah23 . deviantart . com
I have her permission to use it.
© "Naruto" is created and copyrighted by Kishimoto Masashi and owned by Shueisha Publishing Co., Ltd. and Studio Pierrot.
Enjoy.
Alive And Victorious
Chapter 10. Stay still, my stupid heart!
Matsuri walked down one of Sunagakure's streets with her legs wobbling. Her thoughts were uncontrollably rushing in circles, like the clouds of the sand dust stirred up by the wind. In her imagination she could only replay again and again the scene which took place an hour ago in Kazekage's office. All her efforts to keep her calm were futile. She didn't even know where she was going, and when someone yelled her name straight into her ear, she faltered but then the strong arm supported her, not letting her fall.
The kunoichi raised her head and stared at her friend, stunned.
"Darui..." she breathed, leaning against him heavily.
"What's wrong?" he asked. "Are you sick?"
Matsuri shook her head slowly, brushing her forehead with her palm.
"No, I'm just—" she broke off, trying to gather her thoughts. "I'm only—"
"You sure you didn't get a sunstroke?" he insisted, pressing his hand against her brow. "No, your forehead is okay..."
"Darui," Matsuri groaned desperately. "Please, walk me home!"
"Uh..." Darui bit his lip. "Alright," he said, scrutinizing Matsuri's face. "But you will explain this to Sana later, okay?"
They had to wander through almost entire village before they reached the building where Matsuri lived. They climbed upstairs and Matsuri opened the door with her hand trembling.
"What happened?" Darui pressed when the door closed behind them. Matsuri hesitated, unable to find adequate words. At last she decided just to start with the message she had received this afternoon. Darui listened to her with a serious expression, not interrupting even once. The story didn't take long and when Matsuri ceased talking at last, both of them mutely pondered over unexpected turn of events.
"Man, what a total mess," Darui commented, shaking his head. "Did you agree?"
Matsuri shrugged.
"I didn't say 'yes' or 'no' but I didn't think I had any choice. It was an order, wasn't it?"
"Did he say it was an order?" the sandy-haired shinobi asked, frowning.
"He didn't say it this way, but..." Matsuri began to replay the scene in her mind. "I thought it was obvious."
Darui watched her intently as if he wanted to read her mind. His lips parted like he was about to utter something but any words didn't come. He only sighed and averted his eyes, looking through the window in the direction of Kazekage Tower.
"Do you want it?" he asked, crossing his arms on his chest. Matsuri shuddered and blushed slightly.
"I don't know," she answered helplessly, lowering her head.
And that was completely true. Not so long ago she would be happy if something like this had happened, but now there were too many questions left without answers to carelessly marvel at the prospect. At first Kazekage hadn't acted like he was going to give her any orders, until he said Wait on the first training ground at sunrise on Thursday. It sounded exactly like an order, but didn't Kazekage look at her like he'd been waiting for her approval? In the old times, Matsuri would be able to read his mood. She had to develop that ability due to his aloofness. But now they weren't seeing each other on a daily basis, and her former teacher's thoughts and reasons were a mystery to her. Nevertheless the fact remained: she had been ordered, or asked, to train under him to make herself prepared for taking chuunin exam in three months. The most important question was why. Why did he do this? Why did he remember her all of a sudden?
"Training under him, you will become a powerful shinobi," Darui stated, interrupting her thoughts. "You will develop all your skills. Though..."
Matsuri raised her eyebrows questioningly.
"If anything happens, it will be your word against his," he said in a warning tone.
"If anything—" Matsuri echoed but her friend didn't let her finish.
"You know what I mean," he interjected, looking into her eyes. Matsuri bit her lip and lowered her eyes, disconcerted.
Too many questions without answers, definitely.
o0o0o0o
Tucking in the late dinner, Kankurou briefly glanced at his younger brother, but the latter didn't seem to notice, lost in his thoughts. The puppeteer exchanged looks with Temari, who apparently was curious as well what was the cause of Gaara's sudden reverie. Any of them didn't ask him about the unexpected decision even if they had many speculations concerning their youngest brother's attitude.
After Gaara took Kazekage's seat, he seemed to ignore Matsuri completely, to the point of making Kankurou wonder if it was possible his younger sibling had really been such a selfish, arrogant jerk. The puppeteer had been always certain he knew Gaara quite well. That was why he mentioned Matsuri during one of the conversations but the redhead seemed to ignore any hints. Now it turned out that even if Gaara was silent about his student, seemingly disregarding her, he was still thinking about her, until he decided to train her again.
Kankurou steered the conversation towards the genins the three of them have once instructed, and finally decided to mention a certain brown-haired girl.
"I've seen Matsuri today in the shopping district," he said casually. "She's been selling things. Weird, isn't it?"
"It's not the first time," Temari said, shrugging, and raised the chopsticks to her mouth. "I've seen her as well." She chewed on the food and swallowed. "I had to chase away the loathful guy who didn't want to buy her trinkets but... something else."
The words definitely knocked Gaara out of pensive mood but Kankurou pretended not to notice.
"I wonder what's going on," he said outloud.
"Maybe she needs extra money?" Temari replied with a frown.
"I think she rather doesn't have enough money," Kankurou contradicted.
"But she's getting paid for missions—" Temari said and the puppeteer rolled his eyes.
"Oh please. How much do you think she earns as a genin?"
"Well, probably not too much," his sister agreed and began to ponder. "Hey, Gaara," she turned to their youngest sibling. "What do you think about it?"
The redhead thought for a moment as if carefully measuring the words he was about to utter.
"As far as I know her family from Hanabira was providing for her," he explained and Kankurou nodded in acknowledgment.
"Has she ever got any support from our fund for orphans?" the puppeteer inquired and Temari shrugged, while Gaara slowly shook his head.
"No, I don't think so," he said, only to be silenced by his sister.
"Okay, that's enough prying into other people's business," she announced, lifting herself to a standing position and putting her hands on her hips. "You know the rules. My turn - cooking, your turn - washing dishes."
Kankurou growled quietly but maybe it was the best not to draw out the conversation, even if there were still too many questions left without answers. If Gaara really cared for his student he would touch the topic with her sooner or later, and eventually the three of them would find out if Matsuri needed any help. Not that she would happily reveal the secret; Kankurou suspected she would be embarrassed. Nevertheless, any shinobi couldn't afford being malnourished and short on weapons, and someone had to introduce that truth to her, even if it meant embarrassing her.
o0o0o0o
Striding down the street, Gaara couldn't even notice the fresh morning breeze tousling his hair and stirring up the small clouds of the sand dust. All his thoughts were focused on the nearest three hours of the training, the first training he would have with Matsuri in ten months. So many things had happened since then but Gaara hoped to rebuild the bond that held them together once. He wished they could easily go back to the way they were back then. He would listen to Matsuri's wholehearted laughter and look into her sparkling, mirthful eyes. The list of his wishes was much longer but he had to learn first what Matsuri thought of their reunion. Judging from her actions it was hard to tell, since she avoided him in a strange way, just as if she had been afraid.
The Kazekage entered the training ground and walked towards his student, watching her attentively. She didn't welcome him like he was used to, with a genuinely happy smile proving she really enjoyed his company. Instead she kept her eyes low and when he stopped in front of her, she bowed slightly.
"Kazekage-sama," she said formally, her voice trembling a bit as if she was nervous. Gaara was a bit surprised since he knew Matsuri was doing quite well as a shinobi and there was no reason for her to get nervous. Was she scared of him then? It would be strange because there was no one who would know better than her that fighting him while training didn't put anyone in danger. Besides, Matsuri had already expressed her trust in him. I know you would never hurt me.
And he wouldn't, definitely.
"Are you ready?" Gaara inquired and the kunoichi took a stance, her body a far cry from relaxed. Looking into her eyes, which she averted almost instantly, he discovered there was no joy in them, but only trepidation. Forcing the cork out of the gourd, he recalled Kankurou's words his brother had uttered to his chuunin friend the other day, both unaware that Gaara was listening to them. They had been commenting on village's girls' looks, and Kankurou had said about Matsuri: She might be a bit prettier now, but she grew too shy for my liking.
The sand floated from the gourd and Matsuri watched it intently, immediately jumping back to measure the scale of the oncoming attack. She was still avoiding Gaara's eyes, which was the best strategy only while fighting Sharingan wielders, and the redhead wondered if her attitude had something to do with her shyness. Actually Matsuri had never been shy in his presence before, but if she had developed such trait during last ten months, so be it. The shyness would be much easier to deal with than the wheedling, let alone more challenging.
He raised his arm and sent a coil of sand in Matsuri's direction. It was obvious she got used to his fighting style, concentrating only on repelling his sand attacks. When the sand briefly obscured his student's view, Gaara took out several kunais from the holster and flung them at Matsuri. Just as he expected, it surprised her more than it should, and she was barely able to ward the attack off with one of her doton techniques. She quickly adjusted the stance, and he called his sand back, surveying Matsuri while holding his arms crossed on his chest.
"A routine may be dangerous," he remarked and the girl nodded quickly, her cheeks flushing. "You should never let yourself believe you know everything about your opponent."
She swallowed visibly, her expression miserable, and Gaara couldn't help but being astonished. Matsuri had never acted this way since their first meeting two and a half years ago. Thus there must have been change in his plans; discovering the reason for her weird attitude would be the first step.
o0o0o0o
Fastening her pouch, Matsuri approached the door reluctantly and put her forehead against the smooth, cool surface with the miserable sigh. Her hand had locked around the doorknob but she couldn't force herself to press it.
She didn't want to go there. She just didn't. Every Thursday and Friday she had been tortured for three long, excruciating hours and she just had enough.
Enough.
Tears formed in the corners of her eyes when she knelt in front of the door with her shoulders sagging. The chuunin exam was to take place in two weeks and then it would be over. The only problem was she couldn't endure those two weeks. Her feelings had reached the point where she wasn't able to hide them anymore. She wasn't able to hide the blush overcoming her cheeks when Gaara was looking at her. She wasn't able to control the trembling in her voice while talking to him. She wasn't able to calm down the wild beating of her heart when he was occasionally touching her. She even wasn't able to think of him as Kazekage any longer. He was just Gaara for her - and she cursed him for it.
Enough.
The worst thing of all was his comfortable, easy attitude around her. The way he was talking to her and looking at her; the way he was touching her! It was a completely new and shocking trait, which puzzled her to no end. She could remember his old self quite vividly, the way he had been always shying away from any physical contact except for fighting, until she had learnt to restrain herself from what had been so natural to her. She had grown to respect his aloofness only to watch it slowly disappear at time when she needed it the most.
Enough.
Wiping the tears and sniffling, Matsuri steeled herself for another three hours of torment. In two weeks it would be over, she would become chuunin and Gaara would have no reason for seeing her again. She couldn't decide what was worse, to see him twice a week, having to strictly conceal what was blooming inside her, or the prospect of not seeing him at all.
The kunoichi ran downstairs and rushed towards the spot where they were to meet. Gaara was waiting there already, talking to the masked ANBU guard. Matsuri stopped in a distance, assuming she shouldn't interfere, but Gaara gazed at her and nodded as if inviting her to join. She walked towards them slowly and he actually seemed to wait for her, so she quickened her pace.
"Kazekage-sama, I'm very sorry for being late," she said to him, bowing, and turned to the masked shinobi. "ANBU-oji-san."
The masked shinobi nodded at her wordlessly.
"We're going now. We're back in three hours," Gaara announced in the tone of finality.
"But, Kazekage-sama!" the ANBU argued. "It's about your safety! If the Akatsuki—"
The redhead shook his head impatiently. It seemed they were discussing the matter for quite a long time and none of them was convinced at all.
"The Akatsuki had already taken away what they wanted," the Kazekage said. "Besides, I can't always work on my techniques within the borders of the village because I have to restrain myself not to do any harm."
Matsuri wasn't content at all at those words. Did he mean he wasn't going to restrain himself this time?
"Send extra ANBU patrols to check on the vicinity," Gaara commanded. "Notify them not to get close to us."
"Yes, sir," the ANBU answered shortly and glanced at Matsuri. The girl could swear that in his eyes visible through the mask holes she caught the glimpse of sympathy.
o0o0o0o
Gaara signaled the end of the training and Matsuri just collapsed on the sand in the spot she had been standing, her chest rising and falling rapidly. The redhead was certain that if he would have come closer to her, he could have heard the frenzy beating of her heart.
He had never gone on her so hard before. Naturally, he didn't unleash his entire power since it would have got Matsuri killed, but he had done enough to render her completely exhausted. Kunai blades, shurikens, senbons, and summoning scrolls were lying around scattered on the sand. The girl rested motionless amongst them, with her hand still clinging to the jouhyou in the last, half-conscious effort. Thick drops of sweat were breaking out of her skin and her outspread legs and arms trembled slightly, obviously overexerted. Not that she had uttered even one word of complaint; she fought him until the end, clenching her teeth and eventually showing more determination than he had ever seen while practicing with her. Even if she didn't officially get the rank yet, for him she was a chuunin already, quite skilled and reliable one.
Since Matsuri didn't do anything to shield herself from the blazing rays of the midday sun, he quietly shifted his sand until it hovered above girl's body, forming a thin screen. At first Matsuri didn't even realize it, probably thinking it was a cloud that momentarily obscured the sun, but after a few minutes she frowned and slowly opened her eyes, blinking and then suddenly lifting herself to a sitting position. She looked around quite frantically until she spotted him in the distance. The redhead began to walk towards her, watching her getting her canteen from the pouch. She put it to her lips and after a few gulps moved it away, shaking it with irritation.
Gaara stopped next to her and reached into his own pouch, aware that his canteen had been still half full. He sat down next to Matsuri, who was wiping the sweat from her face with her sleeve, and handed her the canteen.
"Please, take mine," he offered and she gave him that look again, confused and scared.
"I—" she started, licking her lips, and visibly blenched when he held her palm gently and locked her fingers around the canteen. Her entire expression yelled that she only wanted to move away from him, exactly like he would have once done, many months ago. He could unmistakably feel the trembling in her fingers and decided to test her further, looking into her eyes while he was still holding her hand.
From observing her interactions with her friends he could tell quick embraces, pecks on the cheeks, holding hands and light nudges and punches were absolutely normal to them, and Matsuri didn't look particularly embarrassed while receiving and giving them. Yet now she refused to look him in the eye and eventually attempted to free her hand inconspicuously, while the blush on her cheeks, elicited by an intense training, grew a few shades deeper. Gaara let her hand go, watching her hesitantly open the canteen, but when she tasted a first sip of water, her hesitance vanished in a flash and she drank greedily until the thin streak trickled down her chin. Matsuri drew the canteen back at once and collected the drops of liquid with her tongue, obeying one of the most important rules which ninjas of the desert had to abide by: save the water under any circumstances.
"Matsuri," the redhead uttered and she glanced at him, wiping her chin with the back of her hand.
"Yes, Kazekage-sama?" she replied quickly, giving the canteen back to him. Naturally, he didn't miss the chance to brush against her fingers with his, scrutinizing her as if waiting to gauge her slightest reaction; the reaction she couldn't quite control, damn it.
"There's no need for me to train you any longer. You're perfectly prepared to take the exam," he stated and the girl nodded, all her conscious effort channelled into suppressing the sudden pain stabbing at her chest. So this was it. The man she loved was going to shove her away again. Maybe not literally this time, but still.
The man she loved... Yes, there was no denying any longer. No way to pretend.
She was in love with him.
Disappointment and hurt were too much to bear and tears threatened to spill. Matsuri panicked and turned away, pretending she was going to gather her weapons, when the sudden hold on her wrist stopped her.
"Please, wait," Gaara said and added in a lower voice. "Matsuri."
She glanced back, quite astounded. She had never heard before a single word coming from his lips in this soft tone, let alone her own name. Staring at him, she caught his eyes and the strange feeling hit her. He was giving her a certain look and she knew she had seen that look on someone before. She had seen that look on a person who she had known for a couple of years, but would have never thought he would be interested in her.
Yes, she had been seeing this look on a daily basis on Yakku. Wistful and dreamy, leer and possessive. And now she could see it on Gaara.
If anything happens, it will be your word against his, Darui's words reverberated in her mind, and for a moment she was literally frozen with terror. Her weapons, lying here and there, were the ultimate proof how helpless she was against her opponent. If anything happens...
"Y-yes?" she stuttered, forgetting all formalities in the face of the pristine fear. Something incomprehensible flickered over Gaara's face and he stepped back, swiftly releasing her hand.
"When I decided to train you before the exam, I wanted it to be the way of expressing my gratitude," he said with a flat voice, and it seemed to her he was bracing himself for something. "Besides, you are a rewarding and smart student. But most of all—" he hesitated and briefly averted his eyes, as if not knowing if to continue or not. "I wanted to know you better," he admitted at last in a quieter, more serious tone and Matsuri blinked with shock, wondering if she hadn't just misheard. "It seemed to me you wanted the same thing," he added uncertainly, and first Matsuri's instinct was to deny it, to hide from the truth, but she knew she would look like a complete idiot if she would try to deny something so obvious. She had known already that it was only a matter of time when he would realize how she felt about him. Not that she had been happy because of it; it would be utterly humiliating and painful, to hear from him the same words she herself must have said to Yakku. She had expected this humiliation every day but it turned out Gaara's thoughts on the matter were quite different from what she had imagined... weren't they?
"Y-yeah..." she mumbled, forcing herself not to let out a hysterical, nervous laughter. She swept her hair behind her ear and finally dared to peek at him. To her relief, and disappointment, he wasn't looking at her. She followed his gaze and noticed a few ANBU guards approaching them.
She just forgot they watched Kazekage almost all the time, especially when he was leaving the village. Their presence made the world feel real again and Matsuri shook her head slightly, wondering if she wasn't just hit by a sunstroke.
"Kazekage-sama, we'll escort you to the village," one of the ANBU said and Gaara nodded but Matsuri could swear she had seen a glimpse of annoyance deep in his eyes.
"I'm—I'm going to get my weapons," she said quietly, gazing around with a small sigh.
"There's no need for you to do this," Gaara answered calmly.
Well, his sand might come in handy sometimes.
"Thank you, Kazekage-sama," she said with a timid smile, deftly catching blades floating in her direction. ANBU guards watched the scene mutely and there was no way to tell what they were thinking. Eventually the group headed back to the village, still silent.
o0o0o0o
Matsuri walked down Sunagakure's street with Sari and Yaoki by her side. They just returned from an easy C-ranked mission and their moods were excellent. The girls were teasing each other in a friendly way and even Yaoki got rid of his usual calm attitude. They were just about to part their ways when Sari came to a halt and pointed at the certain building down the street across.
"Look!" she said, obviously meaning the group of people standing in front of the building.
"Oh?" Yaoki let out a surprised sound and strode in that direction. Sari followed him while Matsuri hesitated, noticing amongst them all-too-familiar figure in the crimson coat.
Four days had passed since their last training and she still couldn't quite grasp what had happened then. She needed to learn more; she needed to hear more from him before she would have let her hopes get too high. Not that they weren't speeding high anyway; she had already experienced both happiness and despair due to what Gaara had said to her, even if the rational part of her mind was constantly telling her he actually didn't give her much to hold onto. And now she was reluctant to face him, in case all her hopes would be irretrievably crushed.
Stay still, my stupid heart!
"Come on, we'll see what they are doing there," Sari, oblivious to her friend's doubts and uncertainties, swept Matsuri with her arm and pushed her forward. Both girls followed Yaoki, who had already reached the group and greeted the Kazekage, Kankurou and three councilmen. Matsuri didn't think it was a proper thing to disturb them but Yaoki turned to his teammates and waited until they came closer.
"Kazekage-sama," Sari uttered and then welcomed the councilmen and Kankurou. Matsuri repeated her words automatically, feeling quite uncomfortable in the company of people who were in charge of leading the village. She was just a mere genin and didn't know much about politics and such. Besides, she still didn't forget the council's machinations which could have made her lose her life. She wondered how come Gaara had forgiven them. Well, maybe 'forgiven' wasn't the key word. He simply decided not to mention it since they were working together now on rebuilding village's reputation, but she could sense he didn't forget as well.
"The Academy will be located in this building," Yaoki said to them and the councilman standing next to him cleared his throat.
"That is, if the budget for the next three months will pass," the man said with a meaningful tone, glancing at two other elders.
Matsuri decided she wanted get out of here, and fast. When the elders began to discuss over Academy project, she turned to Yaoki.
"Captain," she said quietly. "Am I dismissed?"
The chuunin looked at her, bewildered. There had never been such formalities between them but Matsuri thought it would be better to abide by certain rules in Kazekage's and councilmen's presence.
"Sure," he replied with a nod. "Good work on the mission. See you later."
The kunoichi held her breath and turned to Gaara. Since she decided to abide by rules, she also had to be dismissed by him since he was the person with highest rank there.
"Matsuri, please wait a minute," he asked and peered at the councilmen. "I think we have nothing to discuss at the moment. The meeting on Academy's program is scheduled on the next Tuesday. I suggest to give your propositions on Academy staff members to my assisstant. I'll take my leave now."
One of the councilmen rubbed his chin thoughtfully and went away. Yaoki bid his farewell to his teammates and superiors and also left. Kankurou and Sari still didn't move, while two other councilmen took several steps and stopped, talking and gesturing.
"I-I'll be going now," Sari said at last, her eyes wandering from Gaara to Matsuri and back. Matsuri glanced at her with an apologetic half-smile and nodded. Sari raised her brow and walked away after Kazekage dismissed her. Only Kankurou stayed, watching the two quite boldly.
"I'll walk you home," Gaara said and Matsuri's heart skipped a beat.
"Yes, Kazekage-sama," she answered, shifting restlessly under Kankurou's surveying gaze.
"Go to the Tower, I'll be back soon," Gaara said to his brother and Kankurou looked at him in the same way.
"Fine," he answered after what seemed to be an eternity, his voice nonchalant, and shoved his hands into pockets. Matsuri didn't say anything after the puppeteer went away. First, she had no idea what to say. Second, if she could even find the right words, her throat felt too dry and constricted to say anything.
Gaara stepped forward and the girl followed him, feeling utterly exposed. Even if she wanted to walk with him like this, she had never imagined her dream coming true in such manner - in the very midday, under the scrutiny of the entire village. The fact was the people were quite used to the sight of the redhead and his student walking down the streets together, but Matsuri had never felt before they were staring so intensely. Previously she just ignored the stares or got irked because of them. Now it seemed to her that literally everyone gaped at them. Each and every head was turning in their direction and the people were whispering, covering their mouths with their hands.
Since her apartment was near, both of them didn't have to walk for too long. Suddenly a strange thought hit Matsuri. She didn't lead Gaara but he knew perfectly well where to go, even if he had never been in her place before. He must have known quite well where she lived. She thought he must have seen her address in her papers, but it was still shocking how easily he had led her to her own house.
They came to a halt in front of the building and looked at each other. The tension was growing unbearable and Matsuri felt her face burning again.
"I-I have to go..." she said, aware that her neighbours were peeking through the windows. "Um... thanks for—"
"Matsuri, would you like to go out with me tonight?" Gaara interrupted, standing even closer to her. His palm tentatively locked around her own, his fingers entwining with hers.
The voice died in Matsuri's throat and she stood motionless and silent, rolling Gaara's words in her head with disbelief. Her heart pounded against her ribs while the mixed sensation of joy, apprehension and amazement overwhelmed her. The outer world seemed to vanish into meaningless void, and eventually, only delicate grip of Gaara's hand upon hers felt real.
She didn't know how long they had been standing there, wordlessly looking into each other's eyes. It seemed to her that everything they had been through together blended in a whirl and the outcome was just like this - her hand in his, their gazes sticking to each other, their eyes speaking what they had no courage to say outright yet.
"Yes, Kazekage-sama," she whispered, even if he probably read the answer in her expression already. Even now she couldn't call him by his given name, not until he asked her for it. Her voice sounded awkward in her own ears and she instinctively raised her other hand, putting it over her heart and nervously fidgeting at the fabric of her shirt.
Gaara closed his eyes briefly and shook his head.
"It's not an order from your Kazekage," he replied, leaning forward a bit. "You can refuse if you want."
Refuse?
He must have been crazy.
Matsuri felt small, bashful smile creeping up her lips, and she could see the same smile reflecting in Gaara's eyes. "I'll be waiting here at 7," he said in a low voice and she nodded, the magic of the moment suddenly shattering while she realized the gaping stares of the people passing by, not even mentioning her neighbours.
"So... see you at 7!" she said hastily, withdrawing her hand and shooting a quick grin at him. Entering the building, she darted upstairs and stormed into her room, closing the door behind her and collapsing against it in a clumsy manner. Her legs gave up and she sat on the floor, laughing to herself and shaking her head with disbelief, with only one question running in her mind: was it only her or the Kazekage had just asked her for a date?
The end of chapter 10.
The next chapter: Is this how dreams coming alive feel like?