Disclaimer: I do not own Bonanza, but I do own this plot, and any unknown characters.
Adams POV
I found myself now sitting in a chair next to the bed, one hand holding Alice's the other one stroking the newborns cheek. "I like Felicity." Alice said after a moment, of staring at the baby. She then looked at me. "Well?"
I smiled while thinking it over, Felicity sounded good. "Felicity Rose?" I asked adding a middle name. I watched as Alice turned the name over on her lips before smiling her eyes closing.
"Felicity Rose. I do rather like the name." She whispered, then ever so slowly she started to hum, and I watched her carefully rock Felicity back and forth. I smiled and walked to the door, I figured the rest of them were anxious to her welfare, and to see Felicity. Walking out the door I headed for the stairs.
Reaching the halfway point on the steps I looked around the room. Mr. and Mrs. Cross had arrived, and were now seated on the sofa with pa, the three caring on a conversation. Sitting on the hearth was Doc. Jared, and Beth both talking, I noticed the smile on Beth's face and in her eyes. It was amusing in its own way, after all.. She never really did seem to fancy anyone.
In front of the hearth on the floor sat David, and Grayson. Both watching Hoss who sat in a chair in front of them, hands flying wildly as he told them a story, catching a few words he said I knew instantly it was one of the 'adventures' one of us had. And Joe sat in the chair next to him, his face alight in amusement as he watched his brother, with as much interest as the boys. Every now and then Joe would throw in a key detail Hoss forgot.
Clearing my throat after a moment to get everyone's attention, I went down the last few steps. Hoss went silent, his hands hung in midair as his story came to an end. Grayson, and Daniel turned to look at me. Doc stood up, helping Beth up as well, while Joe watched me, a frown set on his face as he waited for good or bad news.
Pa and Mr. Cross both stood and crossed the room, I just gave them a reassuring smile. "Do you all want to meet the new addition?" I asked getting nods, and words of yes as they all stood coming to the stairs. I didn't argue, letting them all up would be fine. Besides, I didn't know how much longer Alice had… I wouldn't want to deny any of them the chance to see her.
"How's she doing Adam?" Beth asked walking next to me with Doc next to her. As everyone ascended the stairs, I paused looking at her, and Jared.
"She doesn't believe she'll make it. She isn't looking any better either." I said lowly, though the words hurt me to leave my mouth. Jared put a hand on my back and I gave him a look of thanks, just as Beth put her arms around my waist, which I responded by hugging her back, blinking back tears I would not shed now. "Thank you." I knew Beth would understand my words. Giving a nod she pushed my back gently towards the stairs. And I obliged, walking up, with the two following behind.
Re-entering the room I made my way to the bed where Grayson and Daniel were seated next to their Ma, looking at the baby with wide, amazed eyes. Mr. and Mrs. Cross took the two seats on one side of the bed and Pa stood at the head of the bed next to the chair I was sitting in earlier. Joe and Hoss were standing behind my chair, both smiling to Alice. Beth went to stand next to Joe. And I walked forward taking my seat once more and scooting up to her. While Doc went to check on how she was doing before he went to stand at the end of the bed.
Surprisingly everyone managed to remain silent though Docs quick examination, well almost. Grayson leaned in real close to his mama. "She's pretty." The three year old piped up. Alice chuckled lightly. Nodding.
"She is." Looking at the rest of the family Alice smiled, "Meet Felicity Rose Cartwright." She announced. Though she didn't hold her up high, I noticed her try, but her arms shook. She didn't have the strength.
Reaching over I took her from Alice, and handed her to Mrs. Cross. Being the only Grandma in here I figured she had first right to hold the baby. And no one else complained so they must have agreed.
"Sweetie, how are you feeling?" Mr. Cross asked Alice, watching my wife she just smiled.
"Tired Papa." She answered, the smile never leaving her face, even as her eyes moved to Mrs. Cross and felicity. "She's a beautiful baby. Isn't she ma? Just like her brothers are both handsome young men." She added putting a hand on Daniels cheek now looking at him before doing the same to Grayson. "Just like your father." I chuckled as both my sons showed proud smiles, at their Ma's praise.
"Gee Alice, I thought you thought me and Hoss were rather good looking to." Joe teased, a playful, teasing glint in his eye. Alice laughed weakly.
"Oh Joe, You and Hoss will always be handsome, and good looking. Just not as fine as my husband and sons." She teased back lightly, before she broke into a coughing fit. Once she regained her breath, she closed her eyes, breathing lightly, as everyone look upon her with frightened, saddened eyes. None of us were prepared to lose Alice."Alice,
you hold on.. Don't go yet. Your sons and daughter still need you... Yourhusband still needs you." Mrs. Cross said, handing Felicity to Mr. Cross as shestood and moved closer to her daughter. "You just hang in there… You have always been a fighter. And nothing is changing that now. You're going to make it." Mrs. Cross encouraged. Everyone else remained silent though, even me. I learned long ago not to argue with my wife, and even though I wanted to tell
her she wouldn't die… she just seemed so sure of it, that I wouldn't dare to even try to test faith. Even if I did pray she was wrong, and over thinking.
Alice just smiled at her Mother, and I bit my lip as I moved forward sitting on the edge of the bed. "I love you all… never forget it. Okay?" She asked her gaze hitting each one of us.
I felt tears in my eyes, though I still sent up prayers that she would make it, that she was just tired now, but with a good sleep she would wake and be full of life.
"Alice…" I murmured to her, taking her hand in mine. She gave it a light squeeze before she laid her head back closing her eyes, a peaceful look upon her face as her chest rose and fell in smooth in rhythm sequences. "We all love you." I murmured leaning my head forward." I saw the smile as her silent answer was replied, a hushed love you all to. And it broke my heart.
"Pa, what's wrong with mama?" Daniel asked, looking at me with incomprehensive eyes. As a five year old, he didn't fully understand the concept, and Grayson didn't understand it either. "What does Grandma mean by her holding on… and not leaving yet?" I felt tears prick my eyes, as I thought on how to answer his question.
"You're… Your ma's, week right now son… And she may not be able to get better." Daniel frowned, and didn't speak.
"Ike Grapa's's dog Bee? " Grayson asked, the three year old was frowning at me. "We had buried him. Not get to see him anymore." More tears came to my eyes as I listened to my three year old. "We not get to see mama?" My heart broke.
"Babies," Alice spoke softly, though faintly. "You'll see me again. It may not be soon, but you'll see me again. And I'll always be here." She placed her hand on Grayson's heart, before moving it to be on Daniels heart. "Here in your hearts as well as everyone else's." She whispered before lowering her hand, and giving my hand another gentle squeeze with the hand that held it. I replied with a squeeze in return.
"So are you... Going to see Jesus?" Daniel asked laying his head on his mama's shoulder tears shining in his eyes, at the thought of never seeing his mother again.
"Yes sweetie." Alice answered, her eyes falling closed, and she winced like she was in pain. I knew instantly that she was trying to hold on. I used my free hand whipping my eyes, as I held Alice's hand tighter and looked around the room at the other adults. I knew none wanted to see her go, but they all had a look in their eyes as they watched her suffer, and try to stay with us. They didn't want her to suffer, and neither did I. And as if we worked out a silent agreement I found myself whispering to her.
"It'll be okay Alice, me and the boys, and felicity... We will all be fine." I murmured, as I felt her thumb move on the back of my hand some.
"Don't you worry any about your boys and daughter, we'll make sure their all fine." Mrs. Cross said kissing her daughters forehead, before her father followed suit kissing her head as well as he agreed to what his wife said.
"And we'll take care of your parents, keep an eye on them." Hoss insisted and received a small smile from Mrs. Cross.
"We'll all be alright Alice. Even if we don't want you to go, and we will miss you something fierce, but we'll be alright." I whispered, a small sob breaking free, though I tried to hold myself together, I didn't want to cry in front of them… I had to be strong.
"Come on Grayson, Daniel. Why don't we go downstairs?" I heard Beth's voice try to persuade my boys but both shook their head and refused to go, even as the others tried, they refused, not wanting to leave their Ma. But I didn't want them to have to experience death like this, even if it was sad they were experiencing the death of a loved one so early in life, they didn't have to whiteness it.
"Boys, go downstairs with your aunt, please." I asked softly, after a moment of hesitation, and giving their Ma a quick hug and saying Love you', they reluctantly left the room with Jared and Beth and I was thankful, that they had thought to save the boys from experiencing the death of their mother face to face.
Watching her with everyone else, I felt more tears hit my eyes, as I noticed silent tears falling from both my sons who were sitting next to her. And more tears flowed out from under my lids, as I was the first one to catch her chest stop moving, and to feel her hand go limp in mine.
I brought my head down resting it on the mattress as I held tighter to her hand, tears falling freely from my eyes, and around my I heard silent sniffles, and such as everyone else took notice.
I cried more, that night, then I had cried since I thought I lost one of my siblings, and that was years ago, before I settled down and trouble abandoned us for a while. And now, the tears wouldn't stop.