Chapter 4

May 2nd, 2013

Dear Journal,

I can't believe I'm actually writing in a journal, but then again I can't waste a gift from my amusing bird after telling him a week ago that I wish I had some way to document our meetings together. Although he wasn't very thrilled of there even being evidence of our encounters but I'm beginning to see that it's hard for him to refuse my requests.

Anyway back to the matter at hand, ever since our first night on the town we have been meeting regularly with once a week being our default, but now and then we get lucky, due to my parents being in jail or Batman being out-of-town; we are able to see each other more frequently those weeks. It's been a whole month since we started our little game that Robin likes to call cat and mouse with our parents, which means we have had a lot meetings that usually consisted of either Robin showing me a life outside the cramp dirty walls of my room or him coming here to just talk and hangout, which was usually when my parents were out and he knew we couldn't go out because Batman was patrolling the whole of Gotham that night. With all that being said I couldn't possibly write about every encounter only partly because our conversations in this room would probably use up every page in this hundred page journal before I even started with our late nights out in Gotham, so I'll recount only the most memorable encounters for now.

April 5th, 2013

This day marked our second encounter in which he like all the nights before I have seen him arrived when the moon was fully out. Again he wasn't wearing his Robin suit but normal clothes with sunglasses, which is a slight disappointment since I thought his costume wasn't only funny but cute on him but it's for the best that he doesn't stick out from the rest of the teens in Gotham.

"Ready for part two from our earlier encounter?" he asked as he effortlessly lifted me out of my room.

"Part two?"

"Yeah part two; I planned a lot more than just showing you fast food last time." He didn't disappoint that night as we zoomed across town on his bike until we got to a place I could only describe as being magical with the shining lights that lit up the night, the smell of delicious foods, and most importantly the colorful amusing rides that were all over the area near Gotham's docks. Robin called this magical place that seemed too good for even my wildest dreams, a festival. I could barely control my excitement when we gave our tickets to a man that was guarding the entrance that I ran off to being trying all the new wonders before Robin could finish telling me a boring history story about why Gotham had this festival every year.

"You're such a child you know that?" he teased as he looked at the first ride I had chosen with a raised eyebrow that was definitely questioning my sanity although there was a reason my choice of a slow and boring ride like the Merry-Go-Around, I wanted to experience every ride and food possible in this magically land, after all who knew whether we would be able to do this again since neither of us saw our encounters being able to last up to this time next year (I mean the parents had to figure out what was happening sooner or later).

By the time the festival was near closing I was high with excitement and amusement partly because of the sugary food that we ate and the thrill of the more hard-core rides we rode on. We managed to go on every ride at least once, I also ate this weird puffy food that reminded me of a cloud; however, these ones were dyed different colors and tasted so good that just thinking about it again was making me drool, and we ended up competing in the little contests that were held all over the area. Robin ended up winning most of the challenges and then teasing me about it afterwards, but what surprised me was that he ended up giving me the only prize he would accept from the competitions we entered and that was a white stuffed teddy bear that was nearly the size of me.

When the festival people kicked everyone out of the festival grounds for the night we ended up seating on the docks to spend the last couple of hours of our time together getting to know each other while looked out into Gotham Harbor that seems somewhat more beautiful when you know your father isn't trying to pollute it with his homemade laughing gas.

"You said you took me here to talk does that mean you'll share a little about anything in your life when you aren't Robin?"

"Who said there was a part of my life that I'm not Robin? Plus I don't really like talking about myself…not that I don't trust you…it's…"

"I understand you can't trust anyone with that secret especially when I'm so close to your arch-enemy," I stated with a sigh as it became clear that I may never know the boy behind the atlas Robin all because of how different our lives were. This caused an awkward silence that was filled with the festival music that drifted from the closed festival area. After a few minutes a smirk came across his face as he got up and offered his hand towards me, which I sadly took thinking that he was going to announce the end of our meeting for today. But all that changed when he placed his other free hand around my waist and directed for me to put my other hand on his shoulder, and before I knew it we were dancing to the music. With twirls and dips I felt myself smiling more and more even when every now and then he would make a two left feet comment, which also compelled me to continue to step on his feet. The rest of the time we had together was danced away under the starry Gotham sky.

April 23rd, 2013

During this meeting although it was cut short at the end is another meeting with the Boy Wonder that sticks out for me as well because it was the first time I ever saw a movie before. It was a very different experience from watching TV with my parents partly because the TV was the size of a toaster and because the only television my parents ever let me watch was the news to show me their latest schemes and how evil Batman was for ruining them each and every time.

When we arrived at the theater Robin left me to look around as he went to go pay for the tickets and food. To be honest I didn't know what to think about this place, I couldn't wrap my head around the fact that people young and old paid money to watch television with other people; however, as I saw looks of excitement on all of their faces I couldn't help but feel the same way. There have been so many things that Robin had shown me in the past couple of weeks that have made me wonder why so many people had all this freedom to hang out with their friends and families, while I was always confined to the dark and dirty depths of my room…

"I hope you weren't expecting to see a romantic movie?" Robin asked as he came up from behind me, which caused me to break out of my train of thought that was trying to analysis what was wrong with my life. I looked at him with a questioning look that caused him to point to the poster I was standing in front of. It was a poster of two people kissing in a heart-shaped bubble with the words Summer Love underneath it.

"We aren't? But that's the one I wanted to see," I answered sarcastically with a fake pout.

"Maybe next time, I got us tickets to see that movie," He said as he directed my attention to the highest poster on the wall that had a bunch of ninjas fighting with the title being Ninja Wars. I smiled in anticipation knowing that this movie fit both of us way better than a boring love film partly because it wouldn't have blood, weapons, or explosions and also because that movie would probably indicate that we had that kind of relationship. Although I had no idea what kind of relationship we had, but I did know that it was nothing like my parents'.

The movie ended up being everything I thought it would be and more with skillful fighters, a truck load of blood, every weapon imaginable, and to top it all off it had a few explosions. "I take it that you liked the movie," Robin questioned after hearing me talk none stop about it once we left the movie theaters. All I could do was nod my head as I tried to contain my excitement. "You're acting like a child, it's cute."

I felt my face lit on fire when I heard that partly because I was shocked after all this was the first time he ever officially complimented me instead of trying to annoy the heck out of me with insults; as well it also caused a strange emotion I always felt when he was around.

"You do realize you look like a beat right?" he snickered as if to retract his earlier comment and replaced it with one that left me fuming and caused another one of our little fights.

It wasn't long before we were on to our next activity which involved what my father would say painting a smile on the faces of the people of Gotham. Since I already broke the rules by helping those people out of the restaurant during our first meeting it was Robin's turn. He made it evident that he wasn't pleased with lowering himself to Joker's level but this was just another request he couldn't deny me. Even though he didn't like it that didn't stop him from cracking a smile when we dumped some water balloons on some policemen, which sort of cut our time short since we had to spend the rest of the time trying to get away from them and make sure that we didn't get caught by the Batman…

Tarry was interrupted from reliving some of her happiest moments when she heard footsteps heading towards her door. She inwardly smiled knowing that after hanging out with Robin for so long he had rubbed off on her a little as she quickly slide her journal underneath her bed and pretended she was a sleep all before the Joker could barge into her room.

His entrance made her eyes flicker open with the notion that this wasn't just a visit to ensure that she was still in her room serving her punishment. The sight she saw was the Joker completely covered with blood, maniacal smile, and a sadistic look in his eyes. Tarry's eyes widen in fear and terror knowing quit well what was coming next as her father inched closer towards her slowly as his laughter begun to feel the air. He must have had a really bad run in with the Batman today to come home in this type of mood, and with her mother still in jail there was no one else to take his evil crazed frustrations out on except for her. Tarry never knew when it started but ever since she could remember she had always been weak and defenseless against her father, there was just something about his laughter that paralyzed her and made her bend to his will. He was the only one who could hurt her, the only one who could get away with dragging her down the stairs towards what she called his torture chamber.

Excoriating grunts of agony, the splatter of blood, sounds of bones cracking, and his malicious laughter reigned supreme over everything Tarry could remember as she was thrown back into her room with such a force that she flew across the room only to have her broken body smash into the wall leaving a dent in it before she limply fell onto her bed. She could hardly believe this was what her mother had to go through every time her father decided to drink away his sorrows and fall deeper into the spirit of derange insanity that resided in him. No matter how great her failure or how much she displeased her parents she has never went through something like this that left her literally paralyzed with pain to the point that felt like she was trapped within her own body as she struggled to keep the only thing that proofed to her that she was still alive and that was her consciousness.

As she laid there on her bed on the edge of death she couldn't help but stare at her window with swollen blacking eyes; it was the only thing that was driving her to fight for her flitting life. Ever since this time a month ago, she has always regard that window as sort of like a portal to another world; a world where she was free, where she didn't have to pretend to be a clown named Bonnie Doll who was trained ever since she could remember to play deadly pranks on Gotham and destroy anyone who got in her way. But out there she had learned that there was so much more to life than this small dirty box of a room her parents raised her in. There was a world outside that she could just be Tarrin, a girl who didn't get abused every day of her life and was actually happy for once in her life. In her mind Robin was her key between her two worlds, and like a bird he was free to fly anywhere, even between her two worlds. She found that the more time she spent with him the more she wished that she could leave through that window with him and never come back. As her body froze with a crippling pain that radiated through her very being every moment that went by was a battle against the darkness that was trying to overpower her senses. It was a battle that she was losing badly as she felt her sore and swollen eyelids become heavier and more unbearably painful to force to remain open. It wasn't long before the abused girl blacked out into a world that was filled with the images that usually taunted her on nights like this one. From what she could understand it was due to the sound of her father's terrifying laughter and blood splattering everywhere that brought on the vision of staring up into lifeless eyes as blood dripped onto her, the crazed laughter of the Joker, and the weak mummer of a man she could never see.

As the moon shone higher in the sky indicating it was around the middle of the night in Gotham City a soft tap filled the air within Tarry's room that usually brought a smile to Tarry's face for this noise acted as a shining beckon of hope in her small bleak world that was always there for her. When Robin saw a figure lying on the bed he let himself in with the thought of surprising her after all he had a second sneak out that week with Bruce having to go up to the JL Tower for some time. The sight that he came across when he landed gracefully inches away from her on her bed shocked him to the point it was very visible on his face as he stared upon the aftermath of Joker's destruction. Every inch of her body was covered with deep cuts as she twitched in agony and torment in a bright poodle of blood that surrounded her.

Damien had to use every ounce of patience he has gained by working with his father in order to keep himself from tearing up Joker's hide out to make him suffer a long and agonizing death. As Damien gazed upon the suffering girl that could only be compared to a small wounded animal in his mind he had to push any lingering thoughts of placing his judgment on her so called father for now as he attempted to awake her. After shaking her a couple of times her eyes flashed open in shock as her hand shot up suddenly in reflex and took a grip of Damien's throat.

"C-c-lam down…Tarry it-it's me…Robin…" he croaked out as he stared down into a pair of green eyes that were glazed over in a flood of anguish. It took several seconds of coaxing and reassuring words from him that promised her that everything was going to be alright. "Why did he do this to you?" Damien demanded as he rubbed his neck slightly in order to sooth the stinging pain from almost being strangled to death.

"T-the Joker…is sort of…a violent drunk," Tarry gasped out as the excoriating pain that rumbled through her before she blacked out came back with vengeance.

"Sort of is an understatement."

"I know, it happens when he gets into a bad encounter with Batman, but usually my mother handles him, but since she's-"

"In jail," Robin finished off as he thought back to what had happened when him and his father confronted Joker tonight that would set him off to do this to Tarry. Although you can never be too sure with a psycho killer like the Joker the only guess Damien could come up with was the fact his father and him had thoroughly embarrassed the clown by hanging the clown on a flag pole by his underwear next to an elementary school where he was planning to form a massive army of mindless insane children by spraying them with his Joker gas. If that was what set him off Damien couldn't help but feel responsible, it was him who hung Joker up to wait for the cops using his new jet pack, as he pulled some medication from his pouch.

"What's that?"

"Just something Batman created, it's a pill that not only acts as a strong pain-killer but also helps the body in the process of healing itself," he explained as he slipped the pill into her mouth where she swallowed it. The effects of the medication that her Boy Wonder had given to her shocked her to the point where sat up abruptly because as soon as the pill was swallowed it released an intense warmth throughout her body that numbed and soothed every bone crushing ache. The very sight made Robin laugh slightly as he lightly pushed her back into a laying position. "All because it takes away the feeling of pain doesn't mean the pain is really gone."

"How?" was all she could utter as she stared up into the masked covered eyes that held her gaze. Robin couldn't help but snicker at the girl's astonishment of how effective his father's drug was.

"This is what keeps Batman going no matter what happens to him. Sometimes I feel he also uses it in order to create the image of an unstoppable force like the other heroes are," he explained only to notice he no longer had the young girl's undivided attention, which was now intensely focused on the night sky outside her window. "I didn't know the moon was more interesting than me."

"I wish that I could escape and never return."

"And here I thought you loved living in this shit-hole," he commented only to receive an eye roll before she turned her attention back towards her window.

"You know before you woke me up I had a dream, well actually it was more like a nightmare. It happens every time he causes me pain while his tormenting laughter fills the air," Tarry whispered as her focus remained on the scenery as she reflected once again on what those images that have been haunting her really meant.

"What happens in this nightmare?"

"Well the same thing that always happens, nothing ever changes, it starts out with me staring up into lifeless eyes as blood drips onto me, all I can ever hear is my father's taunting laughter and a voice of a man too weak to be fully audible." Tarry's description made a red light flash in Robin's mind as he mulled over every detail of her story. If what she was telling him was more than a dream then maybe she truly didn't belong here, maybe he could save her but he would need proof if he was going to get his father involved after all as much as neither one of them approved of Joker as a care giver they didn't have the right to risk provoking a fight with the Joker or their identities. As he tried to fit everything together in his mind he got up and started heading for his usual passageway between the worlds where he had to be a crime fighting child hero and the one he could be himself without worrying about every rule his parents have ever put in front of him.

"Wait where are you going?" Tarry asked as she took hold of his cape as he attempted to step through her window.

"Don't worry I'll be back soon, I just need to check out a few things…" he broke off as he saw pain swell in her eyes at the very prospect of him leaving her alone again in this utopia world they have created, in which both children could live a childhood that was not dictated by who their parents but what they wanted to make of their time they had on this Earth. Robin couldn't bring himself to leave but he had to in order to find anything that could rescue her before his father got back from his meeting with the JL members. The young boy ended up wrapping his arms around the girl as he took a communicator from his pocket and slipped it into her hands. "Please trust me Tarry I will be back, hopefully with evidence that will be able to free you from this cage. But for now I'm giving this to you hit the red panic button if your father tries anything like this again while I'm gone."

Once Robin let go of her, she opened her hand to see a yellow and black communicator with a white R in the middle. A burst of untold happiness radiated through her body as she gazed upon the communicator, out of all the things he had ever given her: the diary, the bear in her closet or the freedom of exploring Gotham, nothing could compared to this gift. For to her this gift was a small insight into his world, the world where her costumed secret identity boy was a normal boy who wore normal clothes and lived an average life. She looked up from the gift to thank the Boy Wonder just to see that her small rotting room was empty again with nothing but her to populate it once again.

As Tarry placed the communicator safely under her bed next to her journal she resumed with her sleep with a smile that graced her face with the thought that everything would soon be alright, little did either of the children know that they had a spectator that viewed their whole meeting from the slightly opened door to Tarry's room. While he watched his daughter fall into a deep sleep his blood red lips contorted into a huge deranged smile as he entered the room. Before Tarry could react or even process there was an intruder in her room she felt a lurching pain rip through her neck as her eyes flashed open only to see murder in her father's eyes as he grinned down at her while lifting her up by her neck. As the young girl struggled ruthlessly against her father's strength she could see her little utopia that she had built in secret from her parents crumbling before her eyes.