A/N: Sorry for such a slow update aru.
"So where's America aru?" I asked, narrowing my eyes, inspecting the small garden.I was still kind of mad at him all over again due to the conversation I had with Russia.
"Not here, I told him to clear out for this afternoon," He replied, setting down a tray of biscuits and burnt scones. "The scones are handmade, the biscuits are store bought," He said, pouring two cups of tea and sat down on the opposite garden chair from me.
I picked up a scone, examining it, "Good aru,"
"I have confidence in today's scones," England assured.
"I'm sure you do aru," And set it down, taking a biscuit instead, "It's been a while, hasn't it?" I smiled.
"Yea, after that last Axis meeting we've never seemed to find time," England took a sip of his tea, "How did you like the scones I sent you and Japan?" He asked in a more strained voice. He looked at me, disappointment flooding into his eyes. I set down my cup and stared guiltily at England's well kept flowers.
"Um…yea aru, they were great," I murmured.
"You could have told me, about you and Japan. Considering what we've been through together, you should have,"
"I should have aru," I agreed, feeling regret.
"So…does Japan know?"
"Know what aru?" I looked up at him. His eyes held accusation and annoyance.
"That you're faking it?" He pressed. I looked up at him in surprise and alarm. How did he find out? Did we slip up?
"I'm not faking it-"
"Oh, don't lie to me. I've been with you at your worst to know that you still love Russia. I can see it in your eyes even if anyone else can't," England set down his cup, "I can tell when you hide it China, we've done it for months," He said quietly. I pressed my lips together in a tight line.
"I should have told you England aru, I'm sorry. It's been like a roller coaster these past few weeks aru," I sighed, before beginning my explanation. He raised his eyebrows, waiting for my explanation.
"You know how America used Russia to make you jealous? Well Belarus-"
"Belarus?" He cut in, confused.
"Oh, where do I begin aru…Well Belarus and I are like a…I don't know aru, I guess we're on the same side now. She isn't that bad, she's actually like a stubborn little sister to me sometimes," I smiled fondly. England blinked, "She decided I wasn't going to give up so easily and devised a plan to make Russia jealous. So we're pretending that I'm over Russia. Japan is okay with playing as my new 'boyfriend' aru," I summarized.
"So the G8 meeting, world meeting, the carnival…all that was pretend huh?" England said thoughtfully, "I sorta guessed it,"
"Yea aru," I took another sip of tea, "Only my family, Belarus, myself, and you know of the plan- Oh, and Greece too aru,"
"Greece?"
"Don't tell anyone. Him and Japan are together," I grinned. England smirked.
"Is the plan working?"
"So far, yes aru," I bit my lip, "It feels so strange pushing Russia away when all I wanted was to pull him closer…" I trailed off; my throat getting tight as Russia's hurt expression came to mind. I shook my head, clearing the thought away.
"So how are things with your arrogant brat aru?" I asked. England frowned lightly.
"My arrogant brat is doing just fine and we are very happy together," England retorted. I raised my eyebrows.
"That's good aru," I replied, grinning.
England's features softened. "But he really is sorry for using Russia. He keeps going on these guilt trips where he doesn't eat anything for hours at a time," England added earnestly. Anyone else I would've shrugged it off. But this was America, who seemed to inhale food by the second.
"I know, but still aru…"
"Anyone who sees Russia would think he wasn't capable of caring let alone loving," England reminded me quietly. It would have been insulting if it were anyone else. It did feel a little insulting, but it made sense in a barely logical thought of Ivan, tall dark and intimidating came to mind. I frowned, nibbling on my biscuit, and we both lost ourselves in thought.
-"I love you dah," He said.
"I do too aru," I smiled happily. England stiffened next to me. Something was wrong. At first I was confused, taking in everything slowly.
Russia-san didn't say the words to me. Russia was cupping America's face, kissing him.
I didn't know what to think. I hadn't realized what heart shattering meant until then. I broke, shattering into a million pieces. England looked at me, horrified at how my expression changed so drastically. I felt hollow.
They broke away. "I love you too Russia!" America said enthusiastically, though...it seemed off.
"What was that you were saying China dah?" He looked at me, happier than I had ever seen him. I trembled.
"N-nothing aru..." I said, realizing I was too late. By a few minutes. A few minutes could change everything.
It's not fair aru.-
I chewed slowly and swallowed the biscuit. It tasted dry and scratched my throat, like one of England's scones. I drained my tea and England wordlessly refilled our cups.
"If only we were a few more minutes early that day aru…" I said quietly. England sighed heavily. I set down the tea cup.
"I was thinking the same thing,"
"It's not fair aru," I instinctively brought my knees to my chest, holding myself.
"No it's not," He muttered. I brought a hand up to my cheek, and realized it was wet. It didn't bother me much in front of England. He didn't judge me, criticize, or disapprove…he just understood and listened.
"How many times have we said that to each other aru?" I laughed once humorlessly, my voice cracking slightly, "Me saying it to you, you saying it to me, our replies the same aru?" I laughed again and shook my head, rubbing my face.
"America feels worse for not knowing he broke your heart. He was the one who told me send you and Japan scones. He was relieved when he thought that you finally got over Russia," England said gently.
"What, so he could stop those guilt trips and resume pigging out aru?" I said bitterly as England winced.
"Are you ever going to forgive him?" England asked, "He didn't know they Russia would fall in love with him or you lo-"
"Yea aru. It isn't exactly America's fault either aru," I apologized, "America was doing what he was doing in desperation. Love is a very rash and selfish thing aru. I don't blame him," I said honestly.
"Thanks China," A voice said behind me. I jumped from the garden chair.
"I thought I told you to clear out for this afternoon," England chastised.
"I did! Haven't you guys noticed its twilight?" America pouted, "And I missed you," He wrapped his arms around England's neck and placed a sloppy kiss on his cheek.
"Baka," England pushed him away, his cheeks tinting pink.
"How much have you heard aru?" I accused.
"When England asked if you were ever going to forgive me," America said softly, pulling up another garden chair.
"It doesn't mean that what you did to Russia was exactly right aru," I crossed my arms, glowering at him.
"I thought you were over him and with Japan though," America frowned, puzzled. He picked up a biscuit and took a hearty bite.
"I am," I lied curtly, "But anyone would say what you did was wrong aru," America was about to take another bite but set the biscuit down.
"I know, I just don't know how to make things right," America said in frustration. I resisted the urge to smack him and scream, 'Then why did you make things wrong in the first place?'
"It is getting late," England said with a start, sensing my mood, "Let me escort you out the door, America go inside and fix dinner," I nodded, getting up.
"See you later China," America waved before going inside.
"I'm guessing I shouldn't tell America," England clarified as we slowly walked to the front.
"Yea," I told him a few more details about what was going on. I also told him what I hadn't told anyone else—about the Mataryoshka doll Russia wanted to give me as a friend.
"Friends? Really?" England said incredulously.
"A few months ago I would be dying for just that aru. Russia and I, real friends aru," I drew in a ragged breath, "B-but now, it doesn't seem like enough aru,"
"And it shouldn't, because you deserve a lot more than that," England reminded impatiently, "And Belarus's plan so far seems to working out good, so don't cave into Russia's mind games,"
"They're not mind games aru. They're what he honestly wants to be like with me but is afraid to aru," I snapped.
"Sorry," England muttered, "It still seems like a mind game to me,"
I huffed, "Well, your scones sucked, I didn't touch a single one. In fact I fed them to Russia as punishment aru," I retorted.
"First of all, low blow," England said, feigning hurt, "Second, what does that have to do with anything?" He asked.
"I don't know aru," I said, "I would comeback with how America hurt Russia, but from America's sense...it really doesn't seem like his fault in the long run aru. I don't think Russia feels that way either,"
"Whatever, just keep in mind that this time you're pulling the strings, okay?" He clarified. I nodded.
"Should I organize another Axis Meeting? You know, so Russia and you can be together?" England asked, "Let me know if I can help,"
"Thanks aru," I was going to refuse his off but then thought for a moment, "And I think you can. America too aru,"
A/N: Gomen for the short chapter aru. Okay, please don't hate me but I'm kind of getting writer's block on the story. Aiyaa… ;A; H-help?