Disclaimer: I don't own Buffy the Vampire Slayer or Angel or any of the characters mentioned in either cannon.

Author's Notes: The story is set in Sunnydale, California during Season 2 and Season 3, but it's AU. The dream that Buffy had in Chapter One was set in the year 2000. The time with Angel is set in 2001. The journey back to see Angelus happened in 1998. The time isn't marked in the first chapter, but is in the second chapter and will be from now on so it won't be so confusing!

Chapter Two

Sunnydale, California - January 1998

Sitting on the bed, Buffy wondered how long it would be until Angelus arrived in the room again. In the past it had taken him hours to do so because he had wanted her to get used to her new home.

He had caught her in a weakened state and played her like a fool. For a moment she had truly believed Angel was back. It had embarrassed her and angered her to know that Angelus used her love for Angel against her. She had refused to cooperate and did her best to ignore him when he came to her room after bringing her into the mansion. It felt like a betrayal to Angel to submit to a monster like Angelus and so she had held onto her love for Angel.

She would get him back somehow. But what she realized in the end was that maybe what she was after in the beginning wasn't what she needed.

She smoothed a hand over the covers, she thought of the first time Angelus had really kissed her as Angelus. He had been a master of manipulation. She had missed Angel's kiss and Angelus wouldn't kiss her until they both accepted that she wanted it. Buffy had considered him a bastard for it and blamed him for manipulating her into being the one to kiss him. It had slowed down his progress of making her fall for him, but he never seemed bothered by it. Angelus had been determined to make her forget Angel and love him, and she had been just as determined to remember Angel and hate him. Her lack of experience with men and in love was used to his advantage and she had wanted to hate him for it, but found that over time she could not.

The harder she had tried to hold onto Angel's memory, the easier it was to forget him. 'Living' and whoring had perfected Angelus' ability to manipulate the heart, to arouse the body of a woman. She had been no match for his charms or the pleasures in life had introduced her to. Angel had been about keeping her naive and Angelus made sure to give her knowledge. Before long, she had craved that knowledge. He made her feel like a woman even at the age of seventeen. She never felt more alive than when she was with Angelus and that scared her. How could she feel that way for a monster?

When it came time to really make a decision, Buffy was faced with the fact that she was in love with two very different men despite the sharing of the same body. Angel was her first love and he treated her with such kindness and wanted to protect her from all of the bad in the world. Sometimes it made it difficult because in his eyes, he was a part of the bad in the world no matter how she had tried to tell him differently. With Angelus, he was passionate about everything. He wanted her to experience life and learn everything that she could. He wanted to mold her into becoming a woman to be reckoned with. Angel believed in her and Angelus made it happen. Could she be with a man who suffered from guilt of things he could control or a man with no guilt and complete control?

Lost in her thoughts, Buffy didn't realize when Angelus entered the room. His footsteps remained light and her senses were ignored. It wasn't until he spoke that she realized he was standing behind her.

"Now Buff, we both know you can't ignore me forever."

Her eyes closed and she took it all in. He and Angel shared the same voice, but there was a difference in it. Gone was the voice laced with regret and hesitation. There would be no comfort to be offered and she knew that, she preferred that. Unable to take any more of Angel's attempts at comforting her, Buffy smiled to herself. No, Angelus would not comfort her. He'd offer her anything except comfort. The irony was that knowing he wouldn't pacify her or comfort her actually comforted her.

Looking over her shoulder, Buffy sent a coy smile in his direction. "Me … ignore you? … Never."

Crawling across the bed, Buffy found herself set on knocking him off his game. He had taught her a lot in their years together. It felt good to have one up on him. Finally she felt like she could truly hold her own against him. Rising up on her knees, Buffy pushed the shorter tresses out of her face and then looked up at him from her long lashes.

"Why would I do that?"

The moment surprise entered his eyes, she witnessed it, but if she hadn't … she would have missed it. Almost immediately, the surprise was replaced with the narrowing accusation of his eyes.

"What game are you getting at Buff? Agree and I'll let you free?" Reaching out he tucked the tresses that she had pushed out of her face behind her ear.

Leaning into his touch, Buffy felt her skin warm beneath it. It had taken three years for them to give into one another fully and fall in love and it had taken two weeks for her to screw that up and betray them.

"I don't want my freedom." Recognizing the mistrust on his face, Buffy reeled herself back in and took a seat. Sitting back against the pillows, her eyes remained locked on him. She could fix it. All she needed was time.

"We'll see."

"Uh huh," Buffy winked, "We will." Turning her back to him, she rested against the pillows once more and closed her eyes. "Can you close the door?"

The click of the door closing by a dumbfounded Angelus left her smiling even after she fell asleep.

Los Angeles, California - April 2001.

It was the sound of her name that wiped the smile away.

"Buffy?"

Gripping the covers, Buffy took deep breaths. "Please don't let me be back in 2001. Please, please, please."

No matter how much she pleaded, Angel's presence said it all. The only question she wanted answered was what it would take for her to go back.