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Disclaimer: I do not own Dark Shadows.

Chapter 10

"Jealousy is bred in doubts.

When those doubts change into certainties, then the passion either ceases or turns absolute madness."

~Francois de La Rochefoucauld

Two days later…

"Rosy?" Samantha spoke up when she finished preparing the tray, "Can you bring this up to Master Barnabas?" she asked with a wince.

"Sure…What's wrong with your hand?" the other maid asked and Samantha looked down at her red and throbbing palm.

"I burned it." She mumbled with a shrug.

"Put cold water on it. In the meantime go to the parlor. Mrs. Collins is there with the young Master's fiancée. They might need something. Angelique is nowhere around to be found today." Rosy rolled her eyes before she headed for the upper floor.

Samantha sighed and rubbed her eyes. The last thing she wanted was to see Ms. Du Pres. She had done a good job avoiding Master Barnabas but she knew that she couldn't avoid her responsibilities for much longer.

She wrapped her palm with a soaked cloth and tied it securely before she headed for the parlor.

As soon as she walked in, the flowery perfume of Ms. Josette assaulted her nostrils and her stomach started performing dangerous somersaults. She sucked in a quick breath and straightened her posture before she bowed.

"Ah, Samantha." Lady Collins smiled and as she looked up she saw Ms. Du Pres' flushed cheeks.

"Do you need anything, madam?" she asked quietly.

"No…Well, yes. I want you to escort Josette to Barnabas' room. She so wishes to see him after his illness. Can you do that?" Lady Collins asked and Samantha bit the inside of her cheek hard.

"Of course." She nodded and the woman beamed.

"Excellent. Josette, I shall be waiting for you in the garden. It's cold but the sun is so nice today."

"Of course, Mrs. Collins." Josette replied as she stood up and followed Samantha out of the parlor and towards the stairs.

As they arrived at the first floor, Samantha felt the other woman's hand on her arm. She paused.

"My lady?" she frowned as Josette looked around her in sheer nervousness.

"Um, I know what you must think of me."

"Madam?"

"What you saw the other day…It is not what it looked like." Josette said in a rush and Samantha swallowed thickly.

"I think nothing, my lady. It is not my place to think." She replied and Josette frowned.

"It's just…Barnabas speaks so warmly of you and I did not want you to get the wrong idea…" Josette wrung her hands.

Samantha understood.

"My lady, I won't tell anyone that I saw you in my Master's chamber. You have my word." She said quietly, feeling the words burning her mouth.

Ms. Du Pres looked up with wide eyes, "Thank you." She whispered and Samantha tried a smile before she turned around to walk again.

Josette followed her and on their way they met with Rosy.

"Oh! Samantha, the Master wants to see you. Oh, Ms. Du Pres." Rosy gave a small bow of her head and then walked away in a hurry.

Samantha knocked on the door before she opened it and slowly walked in.

He was sitting in his bed, his back resting against the pillows. His hair was tousled and his face had gained some color since the last time she had seen him. Her heart ached just by looking at him.

He was gazing out of the window but when he heard footsteps he turned and looked at her. His face broke into a smile and she wanted to return it but she couldn't. Lady Josette was right behind her.

"Samantha-…" he trailed off when he saw his fiancée walking into the chamber. His expression changed and the smile on his face fell right off as if someone had slapped it off of him.

"Josette." He murmured and Samantha saw his hand curling around the covers tightly before he released them again.

"Good morning. I wanted to see how you are." Josette said with a blush on her porcelain cheeks.

He smiled at her and beckoned her closer. Samantha literally saw the woman's heart beating wildly against her chest at that.

She watched as Josette walked over to his bed and sat down next to him, slipping her hand in his.

Samantha sucked in a breath and averted her eyes quickly before she spoke softly, "Do you need anything, sir?" she asked and his eyes were on her immediately, a frown upon his handsome face.

"Um…no…Thank you." He said quietly and Samantha nodded her head before she walked out, trying hard not to slam the door behind her.

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"Samantha?" His voice startled her and she knocked her head against the edge of the table.

"Ow! My God!" she exclaimed as she crawled out from under the dining table.

"Jesus, I am so sorry." He walked over and kneeled down next to her, "Are you hurt?" he asked as he placed his hand over the hurt spot on her head.

"It is alright, sir. You startled me is all." She rubbed her head and he pulled his hand away.

"I am sorry. What were you doing under there?" he asked with mild amusement and she looked at the floor.

"Oh, um. There were some stains from dinner. Spilled wine, I think." She replied with a small shrug.

"Oh." He voiced as he looked at her.

Realizing their close proximity, she stood up and brushed her hands over her apron, straightening it.

"May I help you, Master?" she asked and when he hesitated she knew it was something bad.

"Josette told me that you saw her in my chamber two nights ago. The night I fell ill." He said with great effort and Samantha almost fell over. Not that again.

"Yes…I thought you knew I saw her, sir. You were conscious." She said and she could hear the accusation in her tone; she couldn't help it.

He flinched a bit and swallowed hard, "I wasn't sure." He murmured and she gazed at his feet. His boots were shiny; like always of course. She focused on them as he started speaking.

"I am sorry you saw that. She was ready to leave and…"

"Sir, why are you explaining yourself to me?" she cut him off and he looked at her, his eyes wide.

"I remember what happened and what I said." He whispered as he took a few steps forward. She stepped back and she continued doing so until her back hit the heavy curtains of the French doors. She gasped when he came to stand a breath away from her.

"It does not matter." She replied and he cocked his head to the side.

"Does it not?" he asked her in disbelief, "It does not matter or you don't want it to matter?"

She narrowed her eyes, "What are you asking of me?" she asked him, "What do you want me to do?"

He took a deep breath, closed his eyes and swallowed hard, "It does not matter what I want." He opened his eyes and looked down at her, "I just want to thank you for not saying anything to anyone. I do not want anyone to gossip Josette."

Samantha nodded, "Of course, Master. I would never say anything." She murmured as she looked up at him, "I thought you knew that I'd never say anything to harm you, sir."

His expression softened and he reached out to caress her cheek, "I know." He whispered, "I did not sleep with her." He said and his eyes widened at his own words.

Samantha froze, "Master-…"

"I am sorry. For what I did…It was inappropriate. My problems are not yours and I should not burden you with them. Please forget everything I said that day." He said as he pulled his hand away and took a step back.

"Please forgive me." His eyes were dark and pleading and contrite.

Samantha bit her tongue at his words. So he knew, he remembered and he was sorry. It would have been better if he had slapped her.

"Of course." She whispered instead of the words she wanted to speak. He too was bound by his family like she was bound by her low status. In a way they were the same.

"Is there anything else you need, sir?" she asked as she looked up at him.

At her words his features relaxed and he released a deep breath, "Yes." He smiled as he shook his head, "Yes. I want your opinion about something. Come." He beckoned her over as he turned and started walking towards the stairs.

"Sir, I need to finish." She weakly objected.

"Leave it for later. I need you to help me choose clothes." He called from over his shoulder and she frowned.

"Clothes, Master?"

"Why yes. I will have my portrait done. The painter is coming today." He grinned and as she followed him, Samantha felt her heart sinking a little more.

oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

She hissed when he suddenly grabbed her hand and she looked up at him with wide eyes.

"What happened to your hand?" he asked her as he inspected her bandaged palm.

She calmed down and shrugged, "I burned it in the kitchen, sir." She mumbled and he frowned before he did the unexpected. He raised her hand to his lips and kissed her wrapped up palm. Samantha tried hard not to flinch. Why did he persist on touching her like that?

"You are not famous for your clumsiness, Samantha." He whispered and her fingers curled around the intricate vest she was holding with her free hand, "Please be more careful or you'll ruin your skin." He murmured and she slowly withdrew her hand from his grasp.

"When you work things happen." She replied and he gazed at her carefully, "Soft hands are not to be expected from a maid, Master. Surely you are aware of that." She said as she shook the vest and then lifted it up, waiting for him to put it on.

He frowned, "I did not mean to offend you." He whispered and she swallowed hard.

"I know."

"Please, forgive me." He said and she nodded in silence.

He stared at her for a moment longer before he turned and slipped his arms through the vest. She smoothed it over his shoulders and back before she stepped away.

"Anything else?"

He turned to face her and slowly shook his head.

"Have a good day, sir." She bowed her head and made to walk away.

"Samantha." His voice made her pause and she turned to look at him.

He picked up something from his desk and slowly outstretched his hand towards her.

"I want you to read it. I think you are ready." He murmured and she looked down.

Her eyes widened, "I…I don't have the time to read it."

"Find time." He said quietly but his voice was definite, commanding almost.

She swallowed thickly and slowly took the Divine Comedy from his hand.

"I'll try."

He nodded as she brought the book to her chest and then he murmured a few words that would plague her mind for days.

"Read it and let me know of your thoughts on it. Especially on Inferno."

"Inferno? Hell?" she asked quietly and he nodded.

"Hell, yes." He whispered before he turned away from her and carried on dressing by tying his cravat with jerky movements.

Samantha stared at his back before she fled his room in silence.

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"A little higher, Mr. Collins?"

The blue eyes of the painter were narrowed in speculation as he gazed at Master Barnabas.

Master Barnabas raised his hand higher on his waist and tried hard not to grimace as the painter's eyes moved towards Samantha again.

She poured the tea and then added sugar and milk in the cups.

"And may I ask who this lovely creature is?" The painter, Gregory Roberts, asked and Samantha looked up.

"Her name is Samantha." Master Barnabas spoke up with a small sneer, "And she is not to be looked at, Greg." He almost snapped.

Samantha's eyes widened. She could speak for herself for God's sake!

"And why is that? Wouldn't it be lovely if she were in the painting with you? A group picture." Roberts suggested and Samantha pressed her lips tight together.

"No. That would be inappropriate." Master Barnabas said calmly while his eyes went to Samantha.

"Why?"

"She is betrothed." He replied and Samantha almost squeaked out loud.

Gregory straightened at that and cleared his throat, "Oh. Inappropriate, yes." He put his brush down and smiled, "A small break, shall we?"

"Sure." Master Barnabas smiled back and then glared at the painter's back as he headed for the French doors.

"Sir, I did not know I was betrothed." Samantha said with a light chuckle as she picked up a teacup and walked over to him. He stretched his limps and grinned at her.

"Around him you always are." He winked as he took the cup and took a small sip, "Disgusting womanizer he is." He scowled.

Samantha chuckled, "Hmm, I know someone else with that trait." She said and he averted his eyes while his cheeks flushed a bright pink.

"Hmm." He sniffed and took another sip while he stared at her from over the rim of his cup.

"I heard Ms. Du Pres is coming by later?" she said and he stilled.

"Um, oh, yes. She will have her painting done too…Mother wants one of her here in Collinwood." He replied as he avoided looking at her.

"Then Collinwood will become prettier." Samantha said lightly and his eyes shot up to her face with a start. She tried hard to keep the hurt out of her face. She wasn't sure if she had succeeded.

"Indeed. But Collinwood is already pretty, my dear." He whispered as he tilted his head to the side and gazed at her, "It has you."

She inhaled sharply, "Then you might reconsider from taking me from here after your wedding." She blurted out and his spine jerked.

"Does my decision displease you so much?" he asked her quietly as he placed his cup on the low table to his right.

"Given what has happened, I think it is better for me to stay. Please." She pleaded, finding the opportunity to speak freely while they were still alone.

His brow furrowed and his fists curled as he gazed at her, his eyes dark and unfathomable.

He took a deep breath and slowly shook his head, "I cannot part from you, Samantha. It's too soon." He whispered and she bit her lip.

"If you don't wish to torture me you will let me be, sir. I don't fit into your new life. You know that."

"No." he murmured.

"Yes. I'll be here and you will see me when you visit. This madness has to stop. You cannot possible be so attached to me. It is absurd." Her voice was laced with disbelief.

"Go on. Say it. Accuse me of not doing something about this attachment I harbor towards you." He said as he stepped closer, ready to breech her comfort zone.

"I will not."

"But you want me to."

"What I want is for you to be happy." She said and he frowned.

"What about you? What about what I want for you?" he asked and she gulped, taking in an encouraging breath.

"What you want for me is to be something that I can't." she whispered as she darted a look around to make sure no one was watching.

He inhaled sharply, "Meaning?" his voice was barely audible.

"I do not think I'd fit the role of your mistress well, sir." She finally blurted out the words that fully expressed her emotions.

He staggered as if she'd hit him, "Mistress? You think I'd want you to be my mistress?" he asked, spitting the word out like poison.

She didn't reply.

"I had hoped to be able to see you, talk to you. Read with you even. I admit my lack of better judgment has probably given you the wrong impression but I'd never do anything to demean you. I have accepted my responsibilities and I will fulfill my family's wishes, but do not ask me to be away from you. I cannot bear it." He spoke the words out in a rush and she stared at him shocked.

"What can you not bear?" Mr. Roberts had returned and Samantha jumped back from her Master.

Master Barnabas recovered quickly and smiled, "Standing still for so long." He replied smoothly as Samantha stepped away.

"Ah, well, let us proceed for an hour or so. Then I will start with your fiancée." The painter smiled, "That reminds me. Shall I borrow Angelique for a day? She will be great for my newest portrait." He grinned widely and Samantha turned her eyes on Barnabas.

"Sure." Her Master smiled, "She is all yours. Do not come to me if she proves to be too much for your nerves. She can be rather persistent and ambitious sometimes."

Mr. Roberts smirked, "I can bear ambitiousness as long as it looks like her." He chuckled and Samantha walked away with the very prominent urge to gag.

Her stomach was twisted into a thousand knots and her face felt flushed as she headed straight for the stables.

A pair of ice blue eyes followed her with determination.

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Two days later…

The sky was dark and it was obvious that rain would start pouring down soon but Samantha kept walking through the woods. Her feet were cold and her cheeks red from the morning chill but she didn't stop her stroll. Her thoughts were a jumbled mess inside her head and every time she tried to make sense of her life, she couldn't. Her Master's words kept coming back into her mind and the more she tried to analyze them the more confused she became. His words, his actions towards her were making her hurt more. She would have preferred to be ignored than being doted upon in such a way.

Telling her to read Inferno and then speaking to her in such an emotional way. What did he want to achieve by giving her that book? That he lived in hell, surrounded by his sins? That his life was a torture, a journey amongst his faults? The thought was absurd. Surely he wanted to tell her something by giving her that book. But what? The idea of him truly harboring true feelings towards her, a mere servant, was beyond ludicrous.

Rubbing her arms to warm then she suddenly paused. The sound of a horse galloping towards her direction made her freeze. Slowly, she turned and she saw Master Barnabas' horse coming towards her.

She stiffened and stepped to the side as he approached.

The black stallion which listened to the name of Abraxas was proud and tall as he came towards her. She smiled at the sight of him.

"What in heavens are you doing outside?" Master Barnabas asked as he slowed down the horse with a light tug on his reins. His nose and cheeks were pink from the cold.

"I wanted to take a walk." She replied as she tried to ignore how handsome and tall he looked perched on his horse.

"In the woods?" he asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Where else should I go?" she asked in a murmur.

"I could have taken you into town. I need some things." He offered gently and she shook her head.

"No, sir. Thank you."

"You are free, right? We could go together." He persisted and she smiled.

"You can be stubborn, Master. Thankfully I can be too." She said and he laughed.

"We make the perfect match then." He said as she reached out to stroke Abraxas' head.

"He is so handsome."

"That he is." Master Barnabas smiled and petted the horse's mane, "Come on. I'll take you back home." He offered her his hand and she hesitated.

"I can walk."

"Please, Samantha. You will catch your death." He said gently and she sighed.

"Alright." She whispered as she took his hand.

He smiled and lifted her up. He placed her sideways between his legs and grabbed the horse's reins.

He tapped the horse's sides and the stallion whined before it took off towards Collinwood.

Samantha shivered when the warmth of his body collided with her own chilled skin. It was heaven.

"Is he calm now?" she asked just to break the heavy silence.

"He is. It was not the horse that dropped me off, Samantha. I am sure of that." He said and his breath fanned over her forehead as he spoke.

She frowned, "I believe you." She murmured and when she looked up she saw him smiling.

"Oh, I know that look." She said and he laughed, his chest vibrating against her shoulder.

"What look?"

"You are up to something."

He smirked and suddenly stopped the horse. He jumped off, leaving her there.

She yelped and held onto the stallion's mane, "Jesus Christ!"

He chuckled, "Just hold on to him. He won't drop you." He said as he pulled the reins forward and started leading the horse towards Collinwood.

"What if I hurt him?"

He looked up at her, "You cannot hurt him, my dear."

Samantha gulped and stroked Abraxas' mane, making the horse whine and tilt his head towards her. She smiled.

Master Barnabas winked and looked forward.

Just as they were ready to exit the woods, the horse gave a loud whine and shook his head madly.

Master Barnabas gazed at his horse with a frown, "Shh, easy there." He murmured and Samantha's eyes widened when the earth started trembling under their feet.

Barnabas stopped walking and gazed at the earth with horror, "Good Lord." He whispered as he staggered and almost fell from the earthquake. The horse tugged the reins and kicked his front two legs out, trying to break free from his master's hold.

Barnabas held onto the reins tightly and started murmuring to the horse, trying to calm him down but to no avail.

Samantha tried to keep her balance but then the stallion gave another kick of his front legs, sending Barnabas to the ground, causing him to release the reins.

"Samantha, get off!" he exclaimed as he started getting up from the ground.

She wasn't fast enough though. Abraxas stood up on his back feet and Samantha lost her hold on his mane. With a cry, she tumbled to the ground and her world went black as the horse galloped away from them.

When she fell, the earth stood still again and everything went quiet once more.

End of chapter 10

Author's note: There you go! A long one for you! Thank you for reading. Hope you liked it. If you did, please review! It only takes a moment. If you have time to read you can surely leave me some feedback then! ;o)

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