Chapter 31 – It's never too late
Weeks later and Santana finds herself putting her graduation gown on. This is supposed to be a day where her life begins, where she starts living her dreams, but all she feels is emptiness. She doesn't know what she wants to do from now on, she's lost. One thing she knows she wants, she can't have. She could picture her life with Brittany, a big house, a cat because Brittany loves them, marriage, kids. She never thought she would want those things. If someone told her she would turn into a cheesy, sappy romantic she would laugh in their faces. But she wants all the coupley things with Brittany, she wants to spend the rest of her life with the blonde beauty who changed her life for the better. But she can't. So the best thing she can do right now is to forget and go graduate.
She walks towards the auditorium and takes a seat beside her mother. Daniel is sitting beside Maribel with Brittany sitting beside him. The two girls lock eyes and all the love, regret, sadness are visible on both their faces. Their little moment is broken when Principal Figgins' voice fills the auditorium. He greets all the parents' in the room and soon enough he's calling the students to the stage to receive their diplomas.
Brittany's name is called and she stands up from her seat giving a hug to her dad and Maribel. She's about to give one to Santana but stops in her tracks and gives her a small sad smile. She goes to the stage and smiles widely when she receives her diploma.
Santana is up next and hugs her mother before making her way to the stage. She smiles at all her friends on her way to the stage. She receives her diploma and smiles gratefully at Principal Figgins, she even laughs a little when she hears Puck shouting her name.
After graduation, Brittany finds herself saving all her things from her locker into her bag. When she sees a picture of her and Santana kissing sweetly with the Latina's arms around her securely, she sighs sadly and a tear falls down her face.
When she hears movement behind her she wipes the tear away and puts the picture on her bag hastily.
"Hey." She hears from behind her and as she turns around she sees a smiling Adam staring at her.
"Hi Adam." Brittany says, trying to disguise the sadness in her voice.
"We graduated." He says happily while taking a step forward.
"Yeah." Brittany says with little emotion.
"I have a graduation present for you." He says bashfully. As Brittany is about to speak Adam closes the gap between their lips and kisses Brittany softly.
At that moment Santana is walking down the hallway in the direction of her locker when she sees the scene in front of her. Pain shoots through her body and her heart shatters in little pieces at seeing the love of her life and Adam kissing. Tears start to drop from her eyes and Santana turns around and runs away from the scene, heartbroken.
Brittany pulls away from the kiss and takes a few steps back from Adam. "Did I do something wrong?" He asks worried.
"No, Adam it's just…" Brittany trails off not knowing what to say or what to do right now.
"I thought you liked me." Adam says a little confused and hurt.
"I do Adam, I do, but not in the way you want." Brittany confesses as she looks at the ground. "I like you as a friend Adam. You're a great guy, you really are. And I really wish I could like you in that way but I can't. And if I let this happen I won't be being true to myself." She takes a deep breath and looks up at Adam. "I love someone else and as much as I try to forget them I can't."
"I understand." Adam says quietly, sadness visible in his voice.
Brittany takes Adam's hands in her own. "You'll find your soulmate someday Adam, I know that. You'll find a girl who loves you and cares about you. Because who wouldn't want to be with a catch like you?" She tries to joke and Adam gives her a sad smile.
"You." He whispers sadly while avoiding Brittany's eyes. He's not pissed at Brittany for blowing him off, he's just hurt.
"Adam…" Brittany sighs, guilt coursing through her body.
"It's Santana isn't it?" He asks already knowing the answer.
"Yes." Brittany confesses quietly. "It's always been her, it will always be her."
"Then why did you let her go?" This surprises Brittany and she looks up at Adam, seeing a sympathetic smile on his face.
"Because I was stupid. I just kept making up excuses for us not to be together but I forgot the one reason why we should. We're soulmates and I see that now. But it's too late." She confesses sadly as a tear escapes from her eyes.
Adam takes a step forward and wipes the tear away carefully. "It's never too late Brittany." He gives her a kiss on the cheek and then walks away, leaving Brittany behind to think of Adam's words.
Meanwhile Santana is just walking aimlessly through the halls of McKinley High School, trying to erase the painful memory of Brittany and Adam kissing. She's brought back to reality when she feels arms around her. She pulls away from the hug and sees her mother's smiling face.
"I'm so proud of you honey." Maribel says to her daughter sweetly.
"Thank you mom." Santana says, not that cheerful.
"You've made it. You finished high school. You can pursue your dreams now. You have nothing holding you back." And with these words something clicks inside of Santana, nothing is holding her back anymore. So why is she still here in Lima, the town where the girl who's causing her so much pain lives? With these thoughts in mind she makes a decision.
"I love you mom." Santana says wholeheartedly as she hugs her mother tightly. A tear escapes from her eyes but she wipes it hastily not wanting her mother to see it.
"I love you too honey." Her mother says back, sensing that something is wrong with her daughter, but she doesn't say anything not wanting Santana to be upset with her for prying into her life. They pull away from the hug and Maribel gives her daughter one final kiss on her forehead before walking away to go to work.
"What's up Lopez?" Puck appears from behind which makes the Latina jump in surprise.
"Not even on graduation day you stop coming out of nowhere and scare the shit out of me, isn't that right Puckerman?" Santana says as she hits his arm playfully.
"You know how I roll." Puck says while wiggling his eyebrows causing the Latina to laugh a little. "So you have any plans for today?"
"Yeah, I have to sort some things out." Puck gives her a questioning look. "You don't need to worry about it. I'm fine."
"You know I'll always worry about you Lopez. You're like my sister." Then he shakes his head and corrects himself. "No, scratch that. You are my sister." He says sweetly and Santana hugs him.
"I love you Puck." She says sincerely while holding back tears.
"I love you too Santana." Puck says wholeheartedly, feeling some weird vibe coming from the Latina, but he decides to brush it off. "So I'll see you later?" He asks when they break apart.
"Yeah, I'll see you later." Santana smiles at her best friend and watches him walk away. She sighs sadly, knowing she won't see Puck for awhile, and walks towards her locker to take all her things and then, if everything goes as she plans, start a new life.
When Brittany arrives home in late afternoon the first thing she does is run to Santana's room. "Santana I need to talk t-" She stops talking when she realizes the Latina is not in her bedroom. She's about to step out of the room when something catches her eyes. Santana's wardrobe is wide open and all her clothes are gone, her computer is gone too as all as everything on her drawers. Brittany starts panicking not wanting to believe in the possibility that Santana is gone. She runs to her room to check the flights on her computer, but before she does that a little piece of paper catches her eyes and she picks it up.
Dear Brittany,
I'm writing this letter to you because I want you to know that I don't regret any kiss, any hug, any 'I love you' with you. I don't regret any moment that I lived by your side. Because those moments were the best of my life.
I respect your decision of us being apart and although I don't agree with it, I'll do what you want. But for this to work I can't be around you, it's too hard, too painful. I can't see you every single day and act like we don't have a history, because we have, and it was a damn good one. So I decided to go back to Argentina… I know that no matter what I'll still think of you but at least the pain is less if I can't see you.
I know you're trying to move on with your life and I don't want to be an obstacle in you finding happiness. I saw you and Adam kissing today. I really thought you were just using him to forget about me but I guess I was just deceiving myself, I guess I just didn't want to see what was in front of me in hope of us getting back together. But now I know you really like him and I'm sorry if I caused you any trouble. I just want you to be happy again, even if I won't be.
So what's left to say is… goodbye Brittany. I love you and I always will. Take care of yourself.
Love,
Santana
P.S. Check the CD, I made it when I was in Argentina the last time, it's kind of an apology for how stupid I was back then. I hope you like it.
At this point tears are falling rapidly down her face and pain is shooting through her heart. It's just then she notices a CD on her desk. She wipes the tears away, wanting to see with a clear image what's in the CD. She puts it on her computer and soon Santana appears on her computer screen.
"Hi Brittany. I know you're probably mad at me for what I did and you have all the right to be. I was a dumbass. I shouldn't have done that to you. I should have just told our parents the truth and right now I could be with you in my arms." Santana takes a deep breath and then continues, looking directly at the camera with regret and shame written all over her face. "But I was a coward and I know I don't deserve to be forgiven. I just want you to know that I will do anything I can to prove to you that I'm worthy of your trust, that I'm worthy of your love again. So this is for you. I hope you'll like it." Santana gives a small smile to the camera and then picks an acoustic guitar from behind her.
Brittany cries as she sees Santana and chastises herself for not arriving home sooner, now it's too late. Her thoughts are broken by the Latina's melodious voice, which makes Brittany stare at her in awe and adoration.
Woah
Hello, I know it's been a while
I wonder where you are (where you are)
And if you think of me (yeah)
Sometimes cause you're always on my mind
You know I had it rough (had it rough)
Tryin' to forget you but,
The more that I look around
The more I realize
You're all I'm lookin' for
Brittany notices a tear escaping from Santana's eyes and all she wants is to hold Santana in her arms and never let go. But she can't because the Latina is gone and, for what she understood on the letter, she hasn't any intention of returning.
What makes you so beautiful
Is you don't know how beautiful you are
To me
You're not tryin' to be perfect
Nobody's perfect,
But you are,
To me (to me)
It's how you take my breath away
Feel the words that I don't say (I don't say)
I wish somehow,
I could say them now
Oh, oh
I could say them now,
Yeah
This is how Brittany feels, she wished she could have told the Latina sooner that she wants to be with her, that she loves her and that she doesn't care about anyone else, she only cares about Santana.
Just friends
The beginning or the end
How do we make sense
When we're on our own
It's like you're the other half of me
I feel incomplete (yeah)
Should have known
Nothing in the world compares
To the feelings that we share (feelings that we share)
It's so not fair
What if this is really the end of them? Of their history? No! Brittany refuses to accept that. She can't live without the Latina, she's incomplete without her. This song and Santana leaving just made her realize that the Latina is her everything and she can't lose her, not again.
What makes you so beautiful
Is you don't know how beautiful you are
To me
You're not tryin' to be perfect
Nobody's perfect,
But you are,
To me (to me)
You try to take my breath away
Feel the words that I don't say
I wish somehow,
I could say them now
Oh
With this in mind Brittany runs to her closet and starts putting some clothes into her bag hastily. She picks little things that she thinks she will need and throws them into the bag clumsily while Santana's melodious voice fills the room.
It's not you
Blame it all on me
I was running from myself,
Cause I couldn't tell
How deep that we,
We were gonna be
I was scared it was destiny
But it hurts like hell
Hope it's not too late
Just a twist of fate (yeah)
All packed Brittany goes to her computer and books a flight to Argentina. She decides she's tired of running away from what she feels, from what she wants. She's gonna be selfish for once and she's gonna pursue her dreams.
What makes you so beautiful
Is you don't know how beautiful you are
To me
You're not tryin' to be perfect
Nobody's perfect,
But you are,
To me (to me)
It's how you take my breath away
Hear the words that I don't say
I wish somehow,
I could say them now
Oh, oh
I could say them now,
Hm...
She takes the CD from her computer and puts it on its case. She picks the letter up and puts it on her bag carefully along with the CD. She puts her bag on her back and scribbles a little note to her parents.
Don't worry about me, I'm safe. I went to Argentina to find Santana. I love her dad, I can't be away from her. I'm sorry.
-Brittany
She puts the note on the coffee table of the living room and then goes to Maribel's address book and writes down on a piece of paper Carlos Lopez' address. She puts the paper in her pocket safely and then, after one deep breath, she goes out the door and in the direction to get her happiness back and the love of her life in her arms once again. "It's never too late."
I think you'll like the next update ;) I think the next chapter will be the final one, unfortunately :( Thank you for all your reviews guys :) Till next chapter :D
P.S. The music used on this chapter was Beautiful by Carly Rae Jepsen and Justin Bieber.