A/N: Hey, sorry its been a while, but please forgive me with this update, 7000 words and 12 pages. Its not my longest, but im hoping this chapter makes up for it, if its not too sad for you all hehe :)

Anyways, recommend listening to the song in this chap , Nothing Compares to You by Sinead O'Connor - watch?v=iUiTQvT0W_0 whilst reading, i think it makes the story feel more real.

And lastly, happy reading :D

Chapter Seven

30th October 2005

She lay there, still as a stone. That's exactly how she felt, inside and out, she felt just like a stone.

It had been three months and seven days of this, feeling like this. Like a stone. She wasn't alive anymore, everyone knew that. They just had to look at her and they'd know it.

Brittany Pierce just wasn't the same anymore.

She knew it, her parents knew it, even Sue Sylvester knew it and she hardly pays attention to anyone but herself. Brittany pierce was broken, completely and utterly broken, without her by her side.

Brittany found that she hardly remembered doing anything anymore, she never remembered waking up, getting dressed or even going to school. Her days would just fly by in a blur. Sometimes she'd awaken from her long daydreams and quickly look around just to see where she was before she'd disappear back to her world of nothing, only to do it all over again in a few hours time. She would always find herself somewhere else, every time she did, and she'd never remember how or why she was there. She just was.

And soon that's what Brittany became. The girl who was just there.

She was still in Cheerio's, much to her annoyance although most of the time Brittany found that she didn't really care, she had planned on quitting but for some unknown reason Coach Sylvester never gave her the chance too. Brittany didn't see the point in her staying there, she hardly did anything anymore. She never flipped and moved like she used to, she just couldn't bring herself to anymore.

She would try, God only knows how much she would try, but she just could never spin or turn the same way, she just couldn't dance the same way anymore. It was almost like she had given up on it, she had lost all inspiration to dance.

Brittany had lost her muse.

So why she was still in Cheerio's she did not know, just like all the other girls in Cheerio's too, some even going as far as to voice their opinions on it seeing as they could do that now. Now that she didn't have her by her side.

She didn't do motocross anymore, though. That was something her mother just couldn't force her to do for any longer, and something her mother gave up trying to do as well. If Brittany wanted to sit around and mope all day, then her mother had no choice but to allow her to do just that.

No matter how much it pained her to do it, Brittany needed to grieve it all out. It was the only way. So that's exactly what Brittany did. Just like what she was doing now. Grieving it all out. In the choir room. The one place she had been in for almost an hour now.

She didn't know why she was in here. Again, Brittany drifted off into her own world, only to wake up and find herself here, still in school in the choir room, even though Glee Club wasn't even on today. She had come here anyway. Out of all the places Brittany would wake to find herself in, the choir room was the most common. She would wake to find herself her so often that she had begun to expect it now.

But what she didn't expect was to find herself curled up on the red, plastic seats in the middle row of the room. She hadn't expected to find herself lying down on two chairs, with her head being on her seat - the one she would sit on the most in the back row corner - crying her eyes out.

She thought she had done enough crying to last her entire lifetime, but as she began to lift up her hand to wipe away her tears she begun to see that maybe she was wrong. She clearly hadn't been crying enough.

Brittany was relieved to find that she still had her grey top in hand; she let out a small sigh at that. She still hadn't gone a single day without the shirt in hand. Brittany would burst out in tears if she found that she wasn't holding it, even for a second. She didn't know why she was clinging onto it so much. She knew that it was creepy. To get so attached to someone else's shirt like she was, but she still couldn't let go of it. Not even if she tried.

It was a simple grey shirt; Brittany found, there really wasn't much to it. It was just a plain old grey tank top that was now quite creased and frayed out in places. It didn't have any fancy words or sparkles on it, nothing to catch anyone's attention, just a simple tank top that she would wear every now and then to jog in or when she started to run out of clean tops. The memories enough to put a small smile on Brittany's face, she loved when she would remember her. She found that her memories were the best part of her day. When she would just zone out on everything and everyone and just remember her.

Her face.

Her smile.

The way her face would disappear for a second when she would put on her simple grey shirt.

It was always the little things that she would remember the most, and they were the ones that she'd always cherish, with all her heart.

Brittany began to lift the shirt to her face and buried it by her neck. She didn't care how weird she may look right now, cuddling a grey top. Brittany found that she was going to do it anyway. And as she closed her eyes her memories of her became clearer. So clear that it was almost like she was staring at her beautiful face right now.

She could see her. She was right there, in front of her. She was lying down on the red, plastic chairs too. She was so close to Brittany that she could see every detail on her perfect Latina face. The way her eyes were sparkling so brightly at her and all Brittany made her do was look at her. They weren't even saying a thing. Brittany wasn't even sure if they were breathing, well she didn't know if she was. She didn't think that she was because Brittany found that she would never breathe when they were in this position. When they would just lye down beside each other, and stare. People always said that she was mean; they would forever go on about how bad she was because she would make them cry just by the use of the words coming out of her perfect mouth. But Brittany knew otherwise, she always knew the real her. She was the only one that ever did, because Brittany was the only one that got to do things like this with her. And imagining her now, the way she was staring at her, so intensely, like as if she was the best thing she had ever seen, with the sun shining on her caramel skin Brittany knew just how wrong they all were. She was perfect. Brittany could see her halo shining so bright it was almost blinding her; Brittany always knew that she was her angel.

Brittany wanted to reach out to her. To touch her. To stroke her hair, just the way she liked it. But when she lifted her arm up to try and stroke her soft, round cheek, she found that she was stroking nothing. Her hand instantly dropped, all she felt was air. Cold, hard air. Nothing like what she was expecting to touch at all. And then suddenly her perfect face, shining away in all its glory, began to fade away. She was slowly disappearing from her mind, just like she did in real life too.

Brittany let out a pained whimper at the thought. She had left her. And suddenly nothing else mattered anymore. Not Glee Club or Cheerio's, or the fact that for the past three months all she's been doing is partying at night and not being seen in the day, none of that mattered anymore. All that mattered was the fact that she was slowly slipping away from her; the perfect angel whom she was staring at just a moment ago was now becoming nothing, just a pair of red, plastic chairs in front of her.

She had left her.

Brittany reached out with her arm once more. She stretched them out as far as they could go in the place that she knew where she was. She squeezed her eyes closed, never wanting them to open, even the slightest, for fear of what she would undoubtedly see if she did. She couldn't see that, she wouldn't. She just had to be there. Brittany knew it. But she kept reaching out; she started to wave her hand around, trying to stroke her precious hair, but nothing. Nothing.

There was absolutely nothing there. Just her, by herself, in a school choir room. In Lima, Ohio. With her most likely in a studio. In Central New York. Miles away from her. Just like she had been for three months now. She was miles away from her heart.

Brittany couldn't take it anymore, and she let out a pained cry, the kind of cry she had been avoiding ever since that day with her mother and her in the bathroom. That was the last day she ever admitted that she missed her. That was the last day that Brittany ever really said anything. From then on it was just simple yes' and no's or a shrug of the shoulder. No witty comment about her cat reading her diary. No random facts about unicorns or dolphins were ever heard from her mouth again. Not since she left her, and took her heart away with her. It didn't beat the same anymore. Brittany knew it.

How can it, when it would only ever beat for her?

Nothing was the same without her by her side. Nothing was right without her. And Brittany found that no matter what, no matter how hard she tried, nobody could ever compare to her.

Not the dumb jocks that would endlessly be trying it on with her at the parties, not the guys that would shamefully flirt with her when they thought they had a chance, not even the cute and innocent guys that her friends would try and set her up with, just so she could 'move on' and get a rebound already.

She'd had enough of those, she didn't want a rebound, she found them pointless and a waste of time because nothing would ever happen and when she did try to actually kiss another guy all she could do was think of her and think how he hadn't even come close.

He didn't compare to her at all.

And all she could do was cry and apologise, and now every time she saw the innocent boy he would give her a simple smile and she would give him one back. But even his smile didn't compare. Brittany found that nothing did. Nothing even came close to comparing to the beautiful angel she was just staring at only a moment ago.

She couldn't help it, the tears came of there own accord, but Brittany didn't really care. She simply let them fall, knowing from past experience that they would either way. So she let them, she decided to just let it all out. She grabbed hold of the grey shirt and clung to it for dear life with both hands, cradling it in her arms. She couldn't let it go, not even if she tried. And she let her pained sobs fill up the empty room. It was all she could hear, it was all she could feel.

She didn't want to feel the pain anymore. It hurt too much. Everything was beginning to hurt too much. But what Brittany hated the most was the fact that all she could think was how much she just wanted her to be there, beside her. Just like she would be before.

But nothing was the same anymore.

When her sobs began to quieten down Brittany decided to do the one thing she could think to do. Even though she dreaded thinking about it, she knew that it was the only thing that would help her right now.

She thought of Rachel Berry, and thought what she would do in this situation. Well, if she hadn't already tried committing suicide by now, Brittany thought that she would do the only thing Rachel Berry knows to do. She would sing. She always said that singing a song that was filled with emotion would help her to control her emotions. Brittany hadn't the slightest clue on how that worked out, but then again she never really did understand the things Rachel said half the time, so she gave it a try. If it helps her to not feel this pain anymore, then it had to be worth it.

Brittany thought for awhile on what song it would be, and seeing as she couldn't handle listening to 'I'm All Out of Faith' again without crying her eyes out, she went with the only other song she knew word for word. The only other song she had been listening to over and over again because it was just too true. The song she could relate to the most.

She took a deep breath, never once opening her eyes. With the shirt in her arms, she began to sing.

# It's been three months and seven days

Since you took your love away

Even though there was no one else in the room, Brittany could hear the music. She could see the faces of her friends in Glee Club, all smiling at her as she sung her emotions out to them. And for a split second, she felt better. She felt safe.

I go out every night and sleep all day

Since you took your love away

Since you've been gone I can do whatever I want

I can see whomever I choose

Brittany remembered all the times she always told her to go here or go there. All the times she would chuck clothes at her and tell her that 'they were going out' and Brittany would never question her. Not once.

She would go with her anywhere.

But she couldn't do that anymore, Brittany got to be the one to decide from now on.

I can eat my dinner in a fancy restaurant

But nothing

I said nothing can take away these blues

Cause nothing compares-

She took a huge breath, her breathing starting to quicken as her tears began to fall down like a waterfall. They just wouldn't stop. It was making Brittany's voice come out croaky and she found she would take quick breathes as to not choke on the air. She knew she should stop; the song was beginning to hurt her too. But she couldn't, so she carried on in a painful choke.

Nothing compares to you

It's been so lonely without you here

Like a bird without a song

Nothing can stop these lonely tears from falling

Tell me baby, where did I go wrong?

She thought of all the questions she would ask her, all the unasked questions she could never bring herself to say, but the one question that always played on her mind was that one.

Where did she go wrong? What had she done to make her want to leave?

Why did she have to be so lonely?

She just wanted her best friend back.

I could put my arms around every boy I see

But they'd only remind me of you

Brittany let out a heartless chuckle at that, even when she tried to forget, the beautiful Latina was always on her mind.

I went to the doctor, guess what he told me

Guess what he told me

He said girl you better try to have fun

No matter what you do

But he's a fool

Cause nothing compares

Nothing compares to you

Brittany's tears were starting to calm down, but Brittany prepared herself anyway by taking another deep breath before finishing off the song.

Nothing compares

Nothing compares to you

Brittany didn't want to, not anymore, she tried to hold it in with all her might but when she had to say the line one final time it all got too much. Before she knew it she had broken down, all over again. Her tears coming down like streams in a river. Brittany hugged the shirt tighter and with the song in mind she tried to cry herself to sleep.

But then she heard light footsteps in the distance and Brittany knew that she wouldn't be able to fall asleep now. So she stuck to crying into her shirt instead, whilst praying that whoever it was walking around school at this time – whatever the time was – would simply ignore the cries and walk away.

But they didn't. Brittany knew they wouldn't. She just wanted them too. She just wanted to be left alone. But by the sounds of the footsteps getting louder and closer Brittany knew that her being left alone was the last thing on the other persons mind right now. They heard her crying and came running, especially at the sounds of the cries she was releasing, nobody could ignore that. Not even if they tried.

So Brittany prepared herself for the worst. For the never-ending questions and the petty reassurances and offers of lifts home, even though she had a perfectly good car out back. And when she heard a small gasp Brittany knew exactly what was coming. She tried to steady her cries but found even with someone else in view they wouldn't stop. So she didn't let them.

But what Brittany did find strange was that she didn't get what she had expected at all. There were no questions, no silly starter of 'Are you okay?' Instead she got a pair of soft, familiar hands on her shoulders. Not the hands that she wanted the most, but the next best ones instead.

She certainly wasn't expecting the girl she knew it was, to be here in the choir room too. Lifting her up as quick as she could and throwing her into her warm embrace. When she smelt the familiar scent of Lavender Brittany knew that she was right. Her short, blonde haired friend Quinn Fabray had found her.

Quinn always seemed to find her now. It was almost like she had a tracker on her whom Quinn only knew about; even her parents hardly knew where she went most of the time. But for some reason, being in her warm arms, smelling her homey scent Brittany couldn't help but be glad that Quinn put a tracker on her. She needed this, deep down inside, a friendly hug was all Brittany had been craving for. She just couldn't admit it until now.

When Quinn skipped out the reassurances and offers of lifts home and went straight into asking her 'You still miss her don't you?' Brittany couldn't help but smile.

It was a small one, but it was genuine and that was something she hadn't been able to do in so long. Right then she couldn't have been more thankful, just for knowing a girl like Quinn.

So Brittany gave her an answer, and not just a shrug, a real honest answer.

"I've missed her from the moment I walked away"

Brittany could tell that she had shocked her, by the fact that she had gone quiet all of a sudden told her enough. She knew that Quinn hadn't been expecting that either. And Brittany let out a genuine chuckle, it was small and quiet but she knew Quinn heard it nevertheless and that made her smile a little bit more. She loved how they both seemed to be surprising each other today, both of which hadn't been expecting the unexpected at all.

"Nothing compares to her Quinn, nothing" Brittany suddenly let slip.

The only thing she'd been thinking about for two months now, when she found out. When she said it she let out a contented sigh. It was almost like a huge weight had been lifted off her shoulders, just by admitting those simple words. Maybe Rachel Berry was right, maybe singing really could help sometimes.

"I know, B, I know" was all Quinn said before giving her a small squeeze.

But that didn't comfort Brittany at all because she didn't know. Nobody could ever know how she was feeling, because nobody knew just how close to her she really was, so how could anybody really know. With that in mind Brittany went shooting up, anger starting to show instead.

"No, you don't know. Nobody knows anything because nobody understands-" but it seemed that she wasn't the only one beginning to get angry now as a small blonde began to interrupt her.

"Then help me too!" Quinn snapped back, her eyes piercing into Brittany's and holding her there. "That's all I've ever wanted to do Brittany, I just want to understand. All this moping around and being sad isn't good for you, its not going to solve anything"

"But being honest with you might?" Brittany asked her, snapping back just the same.

"Yes, it really could because you might finally start admitting things, all the things you've been holding in these past three months you just need to let them out. You've done the crying, three months of it, now you just need to tell me what I should know. I need to understand B!" Quinn told her in all honesty, her anger finally coming out after all these months.

"You need to understand, well then understand this; she is all I've ever known!" Brittany shouted out, her anger spilling out of her. She didn't know where it came from she just knew that it was finally out and she wouldn't be able to stop it now.

"Just like how Rachel has always known she's gonna be on Broadway someday, just like Kurt has always known that he likes the same sex, just like you've always known your gonna do something great with your life because of your cunning ways. From the moment I met her, the strange tanned girl who spoke with a bit of an accent, when I was six years old, I've known.

"I've known that she was special, that she would be the one to kiss me awake if I'd been asleep for a hundred years. That she would kiss me better if I'd stupidly eaten a poisoned apple, that she would let me stay in her massive castle if I had nowhere else to go, that she would be the one to teach me how to walk and talk if I get confused.

"From the age of six I've always known that she was going to be my prince to my princess that she was always going to be my guardian angel. And from that moment on she became the only thing I've ever known." Brittany knew that she had started to cry again, but what she didn't know was that Quinn had started to become a blubbering mess with her.

Watching one of her best friends rant on about the one person she'd most likely never see again was just too much to take and soon her eyes had gotten the better of her.

With both blondes crying their eyes out Brittany's anger began to fade away, but her tears still remained the same. But she knew she couldn't stop now, she still had so much more to say, so she took a deep breath before continuing.

"People expect me to only know how to dance or say stupid words at the wrong time, but really I had to teach myself that stuff. I had to learn how to pop and lock and do the perfect pirouette, I had to learn to make that come naturally, just like the words. I had to teach myself to say those things without cracking up a smile. None of it came naturally.

"That was until I met her, and then suddenly everything just flowed into place. I didn't have to pretend or lie around her; she made me laugh without having to try. She made me see things and realise things nobody had ever made me realise before. She taught me so many things, some of which I didn't even realise I had learnt from her. When I'm with her everything just comes naturally, I don't even have to try, not once.

"She's the only person I love more than anything in the entire world, and then she had to go and leave me. And you expect me to not be sad? Quinn I've known the girl since I was six years old and we've been inseparable ever since. Throughout our whole eleven years of being together we'd only been away from each other a week and that was the longest week of my life. And now she's gone and she's never coming back, not even for me. Do you know how much that hurts? To know that I wasn't even good enough to make her stay.

"I was never good enough for her; she didn't want us to be together, no matter how hard I tried. She told me she loves me and wants to be with me, yet she goes and leaves me. And now I'm left without her beside me. Now I'm left feeling so alone, so lonely. I can't do anything without her Quinn, I just can't. I try to so much but none of it is the same anymore. How can princesses ever live on without their prince? How can anyone do anything without their guardian angel?" Brittany asked the shorter blonde, her eyes locking onto hers genuinely curious, wanting answers that Quinn's not even sure she can give her.

But she was going to try anyway; she took a big gulp before answering.

"Well I suppose a princess just has to be strong and has to go on, after all she still has an entire kingdom to look after. And look at me, I haven't found my guardian angel yet and I'm still alive and well" Quinn said, her eyes hopeful that Brittany would just accept her answer and finally decide to move on.

But she could see the way Brittany's face fell, how her eyes suddenly landed on the ground, like she was disappointed with the answer. Quinn knew that she wasn't going to move on, she wasn't ready yet. She supposes after being with someone for eleven years, and most of that time being as a child, three months just isn't enough to let go.

"I know, but how do you do that Quinn? That's something I've never known, and something I never thought I would need to know because no matter what I could always rely on having her by my side. She was always next to me, every second of every day. We were like Siamese twins, just without the relation part – because that would be weird." Both girls let out a small chuckle at that, trust Brittany to make a speech so sad be funny at the same time.

"But now that we've had our surgery and been separated we've gone our own ways. How does anyone ever recover from that, Q?" she asked again, her voice going croaky at the end as her eyes began to well up once more.

"I guess once you've been separated you've just got to learn to find out who you are again"

"But how am I supposed to know who I am again when I don't even know who that was in the first place. I was six, how can anyone possibly remember who they were when they were six because I have no idea. She's all I've ever known Quinn. I don't know anything but her. She's the only thing I know like the back of my hand.

"I know from the way she crinkles her nose in her dreams means that she's dreaming of the most amazing food because that's exactly what she does when she gets the breadsticks at 'Breadstix.' I know that she can't finish a meal without singing 'yummy, yummy, yummy, I got food in my tum-my' even if she has to sing it in her head." Brittany let out a small chuckle at that and Quinn could see the gleam in her eyes as she began to remember her.

"I know that she can't sleep in the dark unless I'm sleeping next to her because I made her watch too many scary films during sleepovers to scar her for life, she can't bear wishing wells or rooms with rocking chairs because of it." Quinn's eyes began to soften at that revelation, she really didn't know Santana at all.

But what Quinn found worse than realising that, was realising that she didn't know Brittany and Santana at all. But looking at Brittany now, the way her eyes were sparkling, just a little bit, by simply thinking of the other girl Quinn could see that she was beginning too.

"I know that when she's really sad she'll look to me first because she likes to make sure that I'm not sad too. And I know that when she misses me - but can't do anything about it because we're too far away - she makes those plastic cup-phones and sticks one end outside the door so she can't see it and holds the other one by her ear and imagines that I'm there on the other side of the door talking straight to her.

"I know that she does that because I taught her it when we were at camp during Lower-School summer break and she loved it from the moment I proved that it works by standing right next to her and shouting through the cup, through hers to her ear and giving her an earache all day.

"I know all of this about her and much more. I know all of this because I've studied her, my whole life, every last detail.

"And now your expecting me to go past all of that, the whole eleven years, and go to that very day when I was six, back when I thought the sky was filled with milk because it had white blotches on it and always wondered why it rained water instead. "You want me to go right back to the days when I didn't know anything because I don't know anything without her Q. I don't know who I am without her, and in all honesty I don't think I want too." Brittany finished off her speech.

Her head was still downcast but her eyes looked up to Quinn, letting her know that she was speaking the truth.

"I know, and I also know that it's going to be hard but, B, you really are going to have too. I'm not saying you have to find yourself now or even anytime soon, you should take all the time you need, you can't rush these things, I know that.

"But the one thing I do know is that you're going to have to at least try to find you, to find the someone that you would have been if you had never met her. I'm not telling you to forget her because I know that you couldn't, ever. But you need to know who you were going to be, it's your only choice now, Brittany. It really is." Quinn could see the hurt in her eyes when she had taken in what she said.

But even though she was hurt Quinn knew that this time she had said the right thing, because she knows that deep down inside Brittany knew that too. She knew that she would have to find herself, sometime, without her by her side.

Brittany understood she got what Quinn was saying to her. She just didn't want to believe it, didn't want to accept that that was her fate now. To live her life, without the Latina there to hold her hand.

She always thought she knew exactly what her future would hold. She had been lucky enough to find her 'soul mate' at the tender age of six, she didn't even need to think hard about where her future would go, what she would do, who she would be with. She already knew the answers to all of them; she grew up knowing them because the answer was so simple.

One simple name.

Santana.

The one name she hadn't spoken of in so long because it just hurt too much to even think it was now the one thing she couldn't stop thinking about.

Santana.

One name had been deciding her entire future since she was a child. Santana was her future. She was everything and more. But now instead of looking into the future, she was now her past, her memories, her history. She was her childhood and that's all. There is no future with Santana anymore.

Now when she thinks about the future it's just one big blur. The white picket fenced, red shuttered house she used to see is now a mess of white. The two beautiful mini Latina children she would envision are now nothing. And the perfect, heavenly angel she would have standing next to her, smiling brightly at the camera for their family picture, is now gone. Her future is now a big mystery that she had never planned on creating, but was now something she needed to solve, without her.

Brittany got it. So she slowly looked up to Quinn's questioning face. She could see the pure worry etched onto it, and she realised that she must have blanked out for awhile. But now that Quinn could see that she was looking at her, her face seemed to relax somewhat. Brittany gave a small smile to this before saying.

"Okay"

That was enough for Quinn. She could see the determination in her eyes, and she knew straight away that Brittany had agreed to try. It was going to be hard, and it would take a lot longer than three months, but Brittany was willing to try. And that was all that mattered now. Quinn gave her a beaming smile back in return.

Present Day

27th March 2012

After hearing Santana's new song Brittany's thoughts went straight back to that day in the choir room. That was a memory she had almost forgotten about, she had hardly ever thought about that day with Quinn and how she made her see sense. Quinn always did that, she made everyone see sense somehow. Maybe that was why she was her best friend because - apart from the fiery Latina - Quinn Fabray was the one person she always needed.

She never really knew why because she found the shorter blonde to be irritating at times, but she still loved her all the same. She could never truly be mad at Quinn. And when times got hard she found she would always turn to the sly ex-HBIC of their school because she knew that Quinn would always be there. And right now that's all she needed.

She just needed Quinn to be here for her because she was the only person she could think of to turn too right now. And now times were very hard.

After hearing what she thought was Santana singing to her on the radio, telling her how she felt now that she knew she was getting married broke the very tender, healing heart of Brittany's. Santana had literally cut right threw it, just through one song, and it was killing Brittany.

She was getting so confused she didn't know what to think or do. So as soon as the song came to end and she had finished repeating it in her mind over and over again, Brittany could only think of one place to go, having forgotten all about James or where she was even headed in the first place a long time ago.

She headed to the one house she had always felt so welcome in, the one place where she knew she would never get judged or looked at like she was still such a fragile thing – even though Brittany knew that she probably was. She went straight to her house, Quinn's house.

When she arrived she didn't realise what time it was, it was getting quite dark out, but she knew that no matter what Quinn would always be happy to see her. Unless she was busy with her boyfriend Kevin, like she was a couple times in the past, that's when things would just get awkward. But she could see that all the downstairs lights were on and Kevin's precious Volkswagen wasn't on the driveway so Brittany knew she was in the all clear.

She parked her Mini Convertible just outside her friend's posh four-bed roomed house, even though there were just two people living it. Brittany still didn't know what was in the extra two bedrooms; maybe they were spare rooms too. Brittany made sure to remember to ask Quinn about that later on. First she had more pressing matters to be dealing with.

So she shook away any unnecessary thoughts and began to head to the big white front door.

Brittany always did love her front door, sometimes she found that she wouldn't actually knock on it for a few seconds just so she could look at it for a little longer. She loved how it had a flowery pattern engraved on the wood, but because of the pure white painted over it, it could be hard to see unless you squinted. She thought it had a very strange mystical effect to it; the flowers were almost like vines climbing up the side of a house. She always thought that the only thing missing on it was a unicorn knocker, and then it would be perfect.

After her few seconds of staring Brittany finally raised her hand to knock on the almost-perfect door but found that she didn't need to as it swung open of its own accord. She was so surprised by that she didn't notice that Quinn was standing there in front of her, with her hair tied up in a messy bun and her nightgown on.

When she finally looked forward and not at the magical door she saw Quinn's curious face looking back at her own tear-stained one. That's when she realised what she must look like, she had completely forgotten that she had been crying away in her car, her tears were silent and so she began to forget all about them.

She knew she must have the worst panda eyes right now, but she didn't care. She was just happy to see her best friend standing there, ready to welcome her in with open arms.

"B, you know we have a doorbell, I don't know why you insist on knocking all the time" Quinn said, completely skipping greetings and asking how she is altogether.

Something Brittany always loved about Quinn; she never asked questions, she always just went straight to the point. Just like she knew she was going to do now.

She could feel Quinn staring at her, her small attempt at a joke to clear the air not working in the slightest. Mainly because she would say the same thing every time she visited. Brittany really did need to learn to use the doorbell.

She could still feel her stare, her eyes never leaving her face, she could feel Quinn soaking in every detail she could and knew that she wasn't happy with what she found in the slightest. Brittany could see the way her eyes softened, like she could immediately pick up on Brittany's upset. She hated that she made her feel that way, but all Brittany needed right now was a soft hug from her best friend. So that's what she planned on getting.

But instead she found she got caught by surprise, yet again, as instead of an immediate embrace, Quinn told her the one thing she hadn't heard her say in years. The one thing she least expected her to say, especially since she had only just been thinking about that day only a moment ago.

"You still miss her don't you?" Quinn asked her so gently, her voice so quiet and soft it was almost like she was afraid to say it in case her tall blonde friend would brake all over again.

But she had to ask, because she knew that she was the only reason Brittany could ever look how she did right now. Like the crying, whimpering mess of a body she had walked in on all those years ago. And from the immediate hurt in her eyes and the way she nodded her head she knew that she had thought correctly.

Suddenly it was like she was getting a huge case of déjà vu as Brittany began to look at her the exact same way she had that day in the choir room. Brittany was seventeen again, and so innocent and fragile just a simple touch could break her. All she needed now was that grey shirt in her hands again and she would look just as small as she had that day.

"I've missed her from the moment I walked away."

And that's all Brittany needed to say before her fragile self broke down. But this time Quinn was prepared and she opened up her arms instantly, preparing her for her friends fall so she could be there to catch her.

That's exactly what she did too, as Brittany ran straight into her warm embrace and held onto her tightly, just like she had with the shirt she always held. And just like the shirt Brittany didn't plan on letting go.

But Quinn understood, she never wanted her to let go either, her friend was hurting, she would hold her for a whole year if she had too. Then Quinn really understood what this was all about, she didn't even have to ask as Brittany answered it for her anyway.

"She knows Q. Santana knows I'm getting married, and now I don't know what to do." Brittany's small voice coming out muffled as she buried her face into Quinn's shoulder, taking in her cute-homey scent all over again.

"I know, B, I know" she said, simply nodding her head in understanding. It was going to be a long night.