A/N I'm traveling out of the country for a study abroad deal tonight so things will be a bit hectic for the next couple days! Mostly I just wanted to get down to the hug scene to end all hug scenes, but I also wanted to get a bit of a longer update before I left. This chapter takes us to the end of film one, so from here on out there will be book spoilers aplenty. Also, looking back on the summary, I think it sort of implies that this would be a series of one-shots, which I had originally intended, but I seem to be incapable of that so sorry if that was misleading! As always, thanks to everyone who reviewed, fav'd, and followed, you are exemplary and commendable human beings :) Enjoy!
Thorin roused his company before dawn. They hastily packed up their things and made their way quietly down the curved halls of Imladris. Bilbo tried to take in everything one last time, knowing in his heart this could be his final walk down these corridors.
They made their way hurriedly to the courtyard that they had entered in two days previously before heading up a narrow mountain path.
Bilbo Baggins was tired, emotionally and physically. After his talk with Thorin, Bilbo had stayed up long past his pipe had gone out, thinking of what had been discussed between them.
For the first time since setting out on this journey, the hobbit felt that he had damaged his almost non-existent relationship with the dwarf prince beyond repair. Bilbo had said what he meant, without restrictions, and now he was beginning to think some tact might have been in order.
Bilbo stood by what he said; he was just becoming less and less sure that was the opportunetime to say it. Thorin hadn't so much as looked at him the entire morning, which in itself wasn't so unusual, but now there was an underlying tension Bilbo was sure he wasn't imagining.
The hobbit sighed as the group reached an opening in the rock that would lead them up and over the Misty Mountains. "Say, Master Thorin," Bofur spoke up from the front of the group, "weren't we suppose' to be waitin' for the wizard?"
Thorin stopped at the front of the group, "Gandalf will be joining us at the High Pass. He had other business to attend to. We must keep moving, the White Council may yet notice our absence."
Bofur nodded as he passed Thorin who was waiting for all the company to catch up. Bilbo was at the very back, right behind Fili and Kili, who both seemed unbothered by the rough terrain and lack of sleep.
The hobbit stepped on a particularly loose bit of rock and stumbled as the stone gave way beneath his foot. Bilbo felt himself lurch forward, but a helpful hand grasped his arm before his face became intimately acquainted with the ground.
"Woah there, Master Baggins," Fili said with a surprised laugh as he hauled the hobbit back up, "don't want you falling this early in the day, do we? Better watch your footing, it'll only get worse the higher up we go."
Bilbo sent Fili a grateful smile as he readjusted his pack, "Thank you, Mister Fili. I'll try and watch my step."
"Make sure you keep up, halfling," Thorin sneered, his tone acidic as Bilbo, Fili, and Kili finally made it to where he was standing, "we won't be slowing down, even for gentler folk."
The dwarf pushed his way back up the narrow path towards the front of the group and Bilbo felt the smile slip off his face. 'Well' the hobbit thought dejectedly, 'he is most certainly not pleased with me."
Fili glanced curiously between Bilbo and his uncle, "do you want to talk about it, Master Baggins?"
Bilbo forced his gaze away from Thorin's back, "I, uh, what? What do you mean?" The hobbit didn't think he sounded at all convincing but at least he gave it a good go, no matter how pathetic his words came out. The blonde dwarf raised an eyebrow and gave Bilbo a rather unimpressed look.
"You don't need to tell me," Fili began slowly as they walked behind the group, "I certainly won't pry, but I know my uncle better than most… Perhaps I could help."
"I…" Bilbo wasn't sure he wanted to involve Fili, let alone talk about what happened but decided with a sigh that if there was one person he couldn't fool, it was the young dwarf. "Thorin told me last night… well he mentioned certain things after I might have… defended some of the elves."
Bilbo didn't even need to look at Fili to see his wince, "and I'm sure you'll find it very hard to believe, but I also might've have run my mouth a bit and said that I thought perhaps that he…" Biblo struggled with how to phrase exactly what he had told the dwarf prince. "That he already had a home?"
The hobbit heard Fili's groan followed by a slightly disbelieving chuckle, "oh you did not, please tell me you didn't tell him we needn't go back to Erebor at the very least!"
Bilbo ran a frustrated hand through his hair, "I said no such thing!" Fili just raised his eyebrows again, an exasperated smile on his face. "Well I didn't mean to! I don't think I said anything in that specific wording, but he, uh, might have mistakenly taken that as my implication…"
Fili clapped a leather-clad hand onto Bilbo, "Oh my dear Mister Baggins, you certainly have a distinct talent for saying exactly the wrong thing to my uncle."
Bilbo let out a miserable groan, "I was only trying to… I don't know, show him that he has people that care for him! That he doesn't need a mountain when he has friends and family that love him!"
The hobbit glanced desperately a Fili who gave him a sympathetic smile. "I know I can't help him, but I still can't help but try. Next time I'll just keep my big mouth shut… Not that I'll get a next time."
Fili wound an arm around Bilbo's shoulders as they walked, "have heart, Master Baggins, I know if you give him time, Uncle Thorin will come to see you as Kili and I do."
"And how exactly do you see me, Mister Fili?" Bilbo grumbled, "An incompetent, hopeless, nuisance? Because I think that description would be generous given Thorin's opinion of me…"
"Of course not, Master Baggins. I have seen first hand your courage. I have known your friendship and seen a loyal and selfless hobbit make sacrifices for dwarves he has no tie to." Fili looked down at Bilbo with a smile, "Thorin has a… difficult time reassessing his judgments of people."
Bilbo glanced up, already feeling slightly better as Fili's words reminded him that he did still have friends among the company. "My uncle has spent many years leading our people through danger and unfamiliar places. After the betrayal of the elves, I think he has a great difficulty trusting outside our race."
"Thorin was forced to make many quick and hard decisions since Erebor was taken. He makes swift judgments of people and rarely changes his opinion once decided. I think it was easier for him to inspire confidence if he appeared decisive and absolute in his dealings."
Fili looked up to the front of the group where his uncle was leading now with Kili trailing closely behind him. "I will not deny this has served him well over the years, but in your case, Master Baggins, I admit his strategy has been woefully inadequate."
Bilbo looked at Fili curiously. "I had a similar opinion of you myself when we first arrived at your home, but you have proven me wrong on all accounts, for which I am eternally grateful."
Fili paused for a brief moment, considering his words carefully. "I believe Thorin is still… well that he is still stuck in his initial perception of you. After you saved Kili, I know he wanted to thank you… But I think it is perhaps even harder for him than he realizes to reconcile the hobbit he thinks he knows with one who is brave and selfless."
"He is so unpracticed in reevaluating his own opinions that when it comes to you, Master Baggins, the change will have to be slow." Bilbo frowned, wishing Thorin could for once not be an infuriatingly complex dwarf. "But!" Fili added with a smile, "I truly believe that with time, Thorin will realize that he is wrong about you, my friend."
"Thank you, Mister Fili," Bilbo said with a small smile, "but I think you may be mistaken. I'm afraid I managed to offend him rather severely… Though I do very much hope that you are right."
"See!" Fili gave the hobbit a squeeze before returning his arm back to his side, "there's the Baggin's spirit I know! Just be patient and I'm sure it'll work itself out."
Bilbo let out a laugh, 'at least I know even if Thorin doesn't like me, his nephews will still cheer me up!'
The company continued up the pass for what seemed like hours. Bilbo was hoping that Thorin would call for a rest, or more ideally camp, but the shout never came.
The dwarf prince was set on putting as much distance between themselves and Rivendell as he could, and so pushed the quickly tiring group father and father.
It must have been evening when Bilbo saw the beginning of dark storm clouds quickly roll towards them as they made their way on the increasingly narrow and, in his opinion, completely unsafe path.
It took only a short while after Bilbo saw the storm clouds for them to become a torrential downpour with wind and rain whipping at their bodies.
He was walking only about a foot in front of Fili and Kili and just slightly behind Bombur. Bilbo had taken to nervously making sure his hand kept in contact with the steep and jagged mountain face to his left, and not, under any circumstance, to let his gaze venture down to the gorge that lay a scant few feet to his right.
Clutching his cloak to his now shivering body, Bilbo felt the cold and wet continue to seep through his clothes. The hobbit tried not to show his discomfort too much, as the rest of the company was dealing with the same horrible conditions he was. But at that moment, Bilbo would have liked nothing better than have a good sulk and reminisce to someone about how warm and dry Bag End would have been.
Bilbo glanced back at the brothers behind him and met Kili's eyes, who gave him an encouraging, albeit slightly forced, smile. The hobbit was just about to ask them how they fared when he heard a sickening crunch from above. Bilbo could have sworn he felt the mountain move.
Bilbo looked at Fili whose face said that he had felt and heard the same shift in the rock the hobbit had. The wind had built up into a frenzied gale and Bilbo couldn't help but curse his luck when he saw lighting begin to flash in the sky all around them.
Everything seemed to go still for a few moments until Bilbo heard a deafening crash above him. The hobbit looked up terrified and saw a massive boulder colliding with the side of the rock face before it shattered and began to rain down upon the company.
"Everyone stand back from the ledge!" yelled Thorin, "keep close to the mountain!"
Bilbo felt paralyzed as the rocks poured down around them, smashing into the path and the face of the mountain. A firm hand gripped his upper arm tightly and yanked the hobbit back just as a rather large, and most definitely lethal piece of boulder smashed into where he had been standing a second ago.
Bilbo was pulled back roughly until his back collided hard stone. The hobbit couldn't help but gaze open-mouthed at the place on the path he had just been, except now there was significantly less rock and disturbingly more room for him to plummet to his death.
His brain catching up with his body, Bilbo began sucking in air to calm himself. 'No, nope, this is not happening. I am most certainly not mere inches away from emptiness. I am in the Shire, in my chair, and simply having a terrible dream,' Bilbo chanted to himself as he closed his eyes, trying to shut out the sound of more boulders crashing above them.
"—ilbo!" the hobbit sluggishly tried to focus in on the familiar voice, "Bilbo Baggins! Snap out of it right now! We have to keep moving!"
Still pressed against the side of the mountain, Bilbo glanced sideways to see the hand that saved him belonged to Fili who was shaking him slightly while yelling over the wind.
Bilbo looked from the dwarf, down into the gorge and back, not even trying to stop the flood of fear now coursing through his body. Fili gave him a reassuring smile, or what the dwarf probably had hope was reassuring, but against the wind and rain Bilbo thought it looked more like a grimace.
"We'll stick together Master Baggins, I promise I will not let you go." Fili gave Bilbo's arm another tight squeeze, "Just trust me." Bilbo was trying; he wanted to believe the dwarf but everything around him made his body scream out in danger. "Please, Bilbo, trust me."
The hobbit forced himself to look at Fili once more and gave a small nod despite the sickening panic that seemed to have housed itself permanently in his stomach. But his friend, the dwarf that had saved his life countless times so far, was asking him for trust, and so Bilbo Baggins would trust.
Bilbo turned to start walking forward, keeping a death grip on the hand the still remained on his arm. The hobbit stuck his shaking fingers between Fili's hand and his own body and, to his surprise, felt a slight reassurance emanate from the sturdy dwarf behind him.
The two of them, with Kili right behind his brother, made their way cautiously along the path. Bilbo just was starting to believe maybe they could all make it through alive, but his short lived confidence was almost immediately shattered when he saw a gigantic figure through the sheets of rain.
This thing, this massive monster had the vague shape of a man but from what Bilbo could tell, was made entirely out of stone. The giant ripped away a piece of the mountainside like it was little more than a twig from a branch, and hurled it towards where the company was making their treacherous journey.
Bilbo was once again shoved towards the wall, but this time he felt Fili shielding him tightly with his own body. Bilbo clung fast to the dwarf's arms that circled around his chest for stability as he felt the ground shift beneath them.
'Oh no…' Bilbo thought with terror, 'Oh no, no, no!' There was a large screeching noise from just behind him as the mountain tore itself in two. Bilbo turned his head in horror as he saw what they were standing on was not just a groove in the mountain, but the knee of one of the giant stone monsters!
The hobbit's knuckles grew white as he gripped Fili's hand, holding on for dear life. Bilbo felt one of the arms around him get thrown back as he heard a yell from Fili, "take my hand Kili!" Except there was no time, no chance for Fili to help his brother. "Kili!" came out Fili's strangled yell, sounding as if he had just had a limb wrenched from his body.
There was a horrible lurch as the monster disconnected itself from the mountain and took a great step forward. Bilbo held tighter to Fili than he had to anyone in his life. The dwarf had returned the arm to clutch the hobbit to his chest, but moved the other to hold onto a groove in the rock so when the giant finally finished its jerking step forward and half the company was jostled sideways, Fili was able to still cling to the rock.
The next few minutes were a blur to Bilbo as he concentrated on just staying with Fili. If he just trusted in the dwarf, everything would be fine, Bilbo thought to himself with no small measure of panic. They were slammed back again and again as the monster they clung to fought its violent kin.
There was a cacophony of sound around Bilbo as rocks eagerly smashed against each other, the wind howled fiercely, and the company was pelted with sheet after sheet of cold rain.
The only thing the hobbit knew was that Fili was here, and while Fili was here, Bilbo tried to focus less on the very unpleasant and painful death that could meet them any second, and more on the strong heartbeat of the dwarf behind him.
The giant they were clinging to received a great blow to the face. The impact forcing the stone monster to twist violently and the leg Bilbo was on jerked forward towards the mountain.
The hobbit couldn't help but let out a frightened yelp as they hurtled towards a wall of very hard and very solid rock. Bilbo felt the grip around him tighten as Fili yelled out, "Hold on, Bilbo! What ever you do, don't let go!"
Bilbo closed his eyes. He knew it probably wasn't the wisest decision he had ever made, but the hobbit couldn't help but try and shut out the terrible scene in front of him for what were probably going to be the last few, gruesome seconds of his all too short life.
There was a resounding crash and Bilbo felt himself being launched forward. Then all of a sudden the motion stopped as Bilbo and Fili flew into the rock wall. The dwarf had twisted them so Fili took the brunt of the impact with his back. The young dwarf let out a grunt of pain and in the force of his body slamming into a solid surface, Fili let go of Bilbo who tumbled out of his grasp.
The hobbit experienced some of the most confusing and adrenaline filled seconds of his life as he rolled away from Fili, still dazed from the crash, until suddenly there was no ground beneath him. Bilbo felt his legs go over first and his eyes widened in horror as he began to drop.
Flinging his arms out, the hobbit was just barely able to find a miraculous grip on a rock jutting out the side of the mountain. His legs dangling above a dark abyss and the wind doing its best to dislodge him, Bilbo found that he was distinctly displeased.
Bilbo didn't know how many moments passed, but it felt like countless hours as his arms grew rapidly more and more tired. They shook with the effort to cling to the rock, but the hobbit was suddenly filled with the furious desire to live.
Bilbo Baggins was not going to die by falling into some dank, infernal pit. He was going to pass on in his bed, at a very old age, feeling nothing but comfort and peace.
The hobbit knew someone would see him soon, because he trusted his friends to find him and save him. Bilbo grit his teeth with effort but dig his fingers into the rock, feeling the skin break and blood begin to run down his hands.
All of a sudden Bofur's face appeared above him, "Bilbo! I found 'im!" Bofur lay down on his stomach, his hand reaching down desperately to help the hobbit back up. "I can't –" Bofur reached down, straining to help the hobbit, his teeth clenching, "I can't reach 'im—"
Bilbo briefly considered letting one hand go to try and meet the dwarf halfway, but he knew almost immediately that given his arms were already shaking with effort, he would probably just drop before Bofur had time to reach him.
There were a few moments of flurried activity above Bilbo, before the hobbit saw Thorin swing down from the path and place a firm arm around his waist.
Bilbo met Thorin's eyes for a brief second as they connected. The dwarf looked equal parts harrowed and fiercely determined. Bilbo couldn't help but feel hope well up within his chest, Thorin would save him! As Thorin hauled the hobbit up, Bilbo felt his shaking arms give way limply, letting the dwarf bear his weight.
Bilbo was brought up to Bofur, who took the burglar under his arms and pulled him up. The feeling of ground, solid and tangible beneath his feet was one of the most welcome sensations Bilbo had have ever experienced.
Dwalin leaned down to help Thorin back up as Bilbo looked around at the company, they were all here! The hobbit felt a surge of relief pour through him until a pair of dwarf arms swiftly and tightly came around him.
There was a brief moment in which Bilbo was very confused at the feel and smell of wet fur against his face. That was until he was pulled back and met with the sight of Fili letting out a strained but relieved laugh, his brother right behind him sporting an almost identical look.
Bilbo laughed himself, feeling relieved to just be alive at this point. "You had me worried there, Master Baggins! One second I had you, the next you fall off a cliff! I swear I can't let you out of my sight for a single moment."
Bofur came up next to Fili, followed closely by Bombur and Bifur, "You certainly gave us a scare, laddie, I thought we might've lost our burglar!"
Bilbo gave Bofur a grateful smile, before he looked past the two brothers. Thorin was looking at them with an unreadable expression on his face, his hand clenching and unclenching itself.
"Our burglar has been lost since the moment he left the Shire," Thorin began, his tone dark and angry, "He has been nothing a burden and a nuisance. The halfling has no place amongst us. He should go back to his precious home before he gets killed." The dwarf prince turned gruffly away from them before stalking off, "Dwalin, we make camp in the cave, make sure everyone is settled."
Bilbo felt the smile slip from his face. 'So,' he thought almost blankly, 'that's what he thinks of me.' Bilbo had thought Thorin assumed these things about him, he was just as sure that those ideas had crossed every one's mind at one point, even his own.
But there was something in the way Thorin's eyes flashed, the way his hands made tight fists in what Bilbo thought to be barely contained fury, and the way he had spatout the words, as if the saying them caused the dwarf to feel a physical repulsion. That was what dug deeply and painfully into Bilbo.
The hobbit felt a gnawing ache begin in his chest. Bilbo had never had someone look at him as though he was disgusting before, as if he wasn't even worth the dirt on Thorin's boot.
Bilbo stared blankly where Thorin had stood a second ago, until he felt Fili's hand go to his shoulder, "Do not fret, Master Baggins," the blonde dwarf spoke in a low, comforting voice, "he was just worried is all, don't take him too seriously."
"Yes, Master Boggins," Kili added quickly, "he says the same thing to us all the time. I think we've all been called a nuisance and a burden at some point in our lives! Its like a… Like a right of passage! Like a –" Kili was silenced by a swift elbow to his stomach.
"What he's trying to say," Fili continued patiently, shooting a glare his brother's way, "is that is just how Thorin speaks, it's not really anything to do with you personally…"
Bilbo gave them a false smile, "Of course. I'm sure he was just tense."
Kili nodded vigorously, "Indeed yes, Master Boggins! Just worried is all, see!" Fili gave Bilbo a questioning glance, clearly not completely buying Bilbo's charade, but couldn't pursue the topic further as Dwalin gruffly told them to get in the cave now or freeze outside.
The three of them made their way in through the narrow gap in the wall that opened up into a surprisingly spacious cavern. It was longer than it was wide, but there was still more than enough room for all the company to fit inside.
"I'll just get a fire goin'" Bofur said as he made his way in behind Bilbo. "No. No fires, this pass is known to be crawling with goblins," Thorin spoke from further inside the cave. Bofur looked down at his clothes and plucked at his soaking scarf somewhat dejectedly. "Bofur take first watch, everyone else, get some sleep. We'll be heading out at first light."
Bofur just sighed and nodded, placing his pack near the entrance and sitting down on a rock, clearly resigned to a night of being uncomfortable. Bilbo set his own bag down somewhat close to Bofur, but away from the rest of the group.
Fili and Kili set their packs down a few feet from Bilbo, not on either side of him as they would usually. After a hushed discussion between them, Fili seemed to have convinced his brother that the hobbit would probably prefer some space at that moment, for which Bilbo was grateful.
The hobbit opened his pack to pull out his blanket only to notice that the black, leather-bound book he had taken from Elrond's library was inside and thankfully dry and undamaged. Bilbo traced the cover for a second before glancing over at Ori, who was talking quietly with Dori and Nori, and realized that the young dwarf must have put it back in there last night before the hobbit had gone to sleep.
Despite feeling a momentary anxiety that he had inadvertently stolen what was no doubt a precious artifact from one of the oldest and most powerful elf lords on this earth, Bilbo couldn't fight the small spark of happiness he felt when he looked at the cover.
Placing the book tenderly back into his bag, the hobbit took off his sword and sopping cloak, before wrapping himself in his blanket and laying down. There was about half an hour more of bustling commotion as the rest of the company organized themselves before one by one they trailed off to sleep.
Bilbo heard the usually comforting soft snores coming from Kili to his right, but could not calm himself enough to fall asleep.
Thorin's words kept running through his mind, over and over. Despite Fili and Kili's reassurances, there was something different about the way Thorin had spoken to him this time versus all the times before when he offered the hobbit criticism.
The dwarf prince had told him he was incompetent, had scoffed at him when he fell off his pony or couldn't start a proper fire, had sent him an uncountable amount of glares and harsh looks, but he had never once told Bilbo to leave.
The hobbit had thought he was finally earning his place amongst the company. He had foolishly begun to think he was becoming useful, but as he looked back on the journey so far, Bilbo realized he had probably slowed them down far more often than done anything helpful.
Sure, he had saved Kili and Ori, but those had been accidents and blind luck, not based on his exceptional skill with a sword or insurmountable bravery. 'What am I even doing here?' Bilbo thought to himself as he spiraled further and further into dark thoughts, 'what right do I have to journey with these brave dwarves? What right do I have to burden their quest to take back their home?'
Bilbo clutched the blanket to himself tightly, gritting his teeth as he tried to fight the one idea he didn't want to consider, but felt closing in as his only option. He had to go home. He had to go back to the home he already had, the one he had always known. He wasn't safe here, he wasn't happy here, Bilbo told himself over and over again.
Thorin's dark and angry face, grimacing in disgust as he told Bilbo to leave, plagued his vision every time he closed his eyes. How could he even face Thorin after the dwarf had all but dismissedhim? Thorin clearly didn't want him here; he had made his opinion very apparent.
Bilbo felt a twinge of guilt as he thought of Fili and Kili and of Bofur and Ori, all of whom he considered to be his friends. He thought of their faces, that he might never watch the two brothers poke fun at each other. That he might never hear another tale from Bofur, who had shown him so much. The he might never see Ori's beautiful drawings or hear him talk animatedly about ancient tales.
But he would be doing them a favor, wouldn't he? They might be upset now, but surely by leaving Bilbo was saving them countless troubles and sparing them of always having to look out for the poor, helpless hobbit who had no real ties to their goal.
Bilbo made a snap decision, not allowing himself to consider it any further. Rolling up his blanket, Bilbo stuffed it back into his pack. Quietly as he could, the hobbit strapped his sword back around his waist and fixed his still damp cloak to his back. He'd go to Rivendell. He'd go back to Lord Elrond's, return the book, and plead his case with the elf, who he hoped would show him some mercy and allow Bilbo to borrow a pony and perhaps some supplies.
Then he would go back to the Shire. He would go back to Hobbiton and Bag End, where he would not be a burdenor a nuisance and was altogether a very respectable hobbit.
Though he was determined now, Bilbo felt nothing but a hollow ache in his chest as he glanced at the sleeping dwarf brothers. Turing away from them quickly, Bilbo's eyes flicked towards Bofur who was supposed to be keeping watch. The dwarf's head was tilted down and his hat obscured what little Bilbo could see of his face.
Bofur's breathing appeared to be calm and steady, which Bilbo prayed meant that the exhaustion from the day's ordeal had taken its toll and Bofur was asleep.
Bilbo padded quietly towards the opening in the cave that they had come through earlier, not at all relishing the thought of going back on that narrow path, but reminding himself that he had no choice.
He crept passed Bofur and was almost outside again, when Bilbo heard a quiet voice behind him, "And just where do you think you're goin'?"
Bilbo cursed silently as he turned around slowly to Bofur who was looking at him with narrowed eyes, "I'm – I'm…" Bilbo began quickly trying to think of how best to explain this to his friend, "I'm going back to Rivendell, Mister Bofur."
The dwarf sat up off his rock in a sudden motion looking shocked, "You can't be goin' now, laddie! Not when we're gettin' so close!"
Bilbo let out an angry sigh, he didn't want to hurt anyone! He didn't want to be responsible for anyone getting harmed because of him! Whycouldn't Bofur see that?
"You heard Thorin!" Bilbo said desperately, trying to make Bofur understand why he had to leave, "I don't belong here! I never have. I'm not like you, I can't do this adventuring business, I'm just not – I'm just not made for it!"
Bofur frowned at him, "You can't be honestly believin' that, laddie… Not after all the things we done so far. I've seen you, myself. I know you were startin' up not knowin' a twig from a rock, but I've seen ya change." The dwarf crossed his arms with an indignant challenge on his face, "I've saw you save the lads," Bofur nodded down to Fili and Kili, " and I saw how you helped Mister Ori too."
Bofur nodded to himself as if this settled the matter, "You are part o' this company, Bilbo Baggins, whether you be likin' it or not. No matter what Master Thorin says, I know your worth, Master Baggins, I know it's the very highest."
Bilbo looked at his friend, shocked that the dwarf thought so much of him but one glance back at Thorin's still form reminded him why he was leaving.
Bilbo remained silent for a few moments before speaking quietly, "I'm not tough, am I? Thorin has never been more right. I am," the hobbit continued with a sigh, "a creature of comfort, Mister Bofur, I'm used to doilies and fire, to warm beds and seven meals a day. I can't even swing a sword without taking out my own eye."
Bofur stepped forward and placed a hand on Bilbo's shoulder, "you're homesick, laddie. And that's okay, I understand," the dwarf had a kind smile on his face.
Bilbo couldn't help but lash out. He couldn't stop himself when he saw Bofur, kind Bofur, tell him it was fine when he was obviously being a right coward and trying to run away.
"No you don't!" Bilbo almost shouted, "you're dwarves. You're used to living this kind of life! To – To living on the road, to not belonginganywhere!"
Bilbo immediately regretted what he said. Bofur's face fell but, to his credit, he maintained a small, sad smile as if, despite the hobbit's pretense, he finally understood what Bilbo meant.
"No, no I –" Bilbo spluttered trying to find some wayto make this alright, but felt more out of his depth than ever, "I… I didn't mean it like that…"
"No, you're right, Master Baggins. We don't belong anywhere," Bofur looked around at all the sleeping dwarves with a sad smile. There was a moment of silence in which Bilbo felt almost sick, this was not going at allas he pictured it.
Bofur closed the space between them and grasped Bilbo in a warm hug, "I understand, Master Baggins. You gotta do what you must." Bofur pulled back, now smiling with a genuine kindness Bilbo felt he had never deserved less, "I wish you all the luck in the world, Bilbo Baggins, I really do."
At that moment Bilbo was embarrassingly close to letting frustrated tears fall from his eyes. He knew in that moment he didn't want to go! He didn't wantto leave his friends! But at the same time he had never felt more selfish, as if he was hoarding their smiles and their friendships even though he didn't deserve them.
The hobbit was feeling utterly torn in two when he saw Bofur glance to his waist, the dwarf's eyebrows pulling together in puzzlement. "Is your sword glowin', laddie?"
Bilbo quickly pulled the hilt of the elvish sword up and, sure enough, a blue light poured out from its steel. Bilbo glanced from the sword to Bofur, realization suddenly dawning on him as he gasped, "goblins!"
There was a strange metallic groan that came from beneath them before the ground started to give way. "Oh you have got to be kidding me," Bilbo spat out before he fell into the darkness below.
Bilbo Baggins was, for the first time, deliberately going to take a life. Sure, he had killed accidentally killed an orc before, but the hobbit had never purposely done more than step on a spider or two.
After the ground had opened up, Bilbo had fallen through with a yell down a narrow passage along with the rest of the company. All thoughts of deserting and going home were thrown from his mind as he crashed down a series of chutes.
He had landed in a heap with the rest of the dwarves only to be swarmed by more goblins than Bilbo had ever seen in his entire life. Not that that was saying much, but for the hobbit, the sight of about a hundred foul, screeching creatures coming right at him seemed like it could have been an entire army.
The company had been hoisted up rather unceremoniously and started being hauled down a narrow path towards a rickety bridge. Bilbo realized rather quickly that the goblins were mainly concerned with his dwarven counterparts.
In a fit of either wits or cowardice, Bilbo was still not sure, the hobbit had crouched down and to his amazement, the goblins had swarmed around him, oblivious to his presence.
Bilbo had almost, almost thought he had gotten away until a straggler jumped him, teeth and sword flashing as it pummeled him with blow after furious blow. Bilbo had swiftly drawn his sword and, although acting purely on instinct, the hobbit met each of the strikes with his own parry.
The goblin had lunged out blindingly fast. Bilbo met it's sword but was forced to throw his weight over to his right side, leaving him horribly off balance. The goblin had launched itself at the hobbit, wrapping its strong legs around Bilbo's waist as it tried to choke him from behind.
Bilbo, still off balance and now with a goblin strangling him, did his best to throw the creature off but as he stepped back, he felt his foot slip off the edge of the ledge, he and the goblin went plummeting to the ground.
Thankfully some mushrooms broke Bilbo's fall but the hobbit ceased feeling anything other than a cold dread as a new strangely grotesque creature appeared and started to drag off the goblin off.
The creature got a few feet with its cargo in tow when the goblin shot up in a fit of strength. They struggled for a few moments before the creature grabbed a rather jagged looking rock and bashed the goblin's head a few times until it stopped doing anything more dramatic than twitch.
Bilbo had gotten up from his hiding place and quietly followed the creature. He had been about to walk further before he saw a glint of gold at his feet. There was a second in which Bilbo could have sworn he heard the thing whisper in a darkly seductive and unknown tongue. That was silly, of course, because rings couldn't whisper, but that didn't stop Bilbo from reaching down in a trance to pick it up.
As his fingers had gently touched the cool surface, a wash of possessive pleasure washed over the hobbit, the word precious a hint in the back of his mind.
Bilbo had been snapped from his reverie by the sound of singing floating over to where he stood. The hobbit had shaken his head, quickly putting the ring into the pocket of his vest.
What happened next, Bilbo found extremely odd and almost unbelievable as he looked back in later years. The creature had threatened to eathim and then had the gall to ask him to play a game of riddles.
Bilbo couldn't really see another viable way out of these blasted caves, so he played along. The two traded riddles until Bilbo Baggins, riddle extraordinaire, had predictably trounced his foe. Well… perhaps not trounce but he certainly had won, and in no way cheated. Nope, no cheating whatsoever, not Bilbo Baggins.
The hobbit had run away as fast as he could as the creature howled behind him, yelling something about Bilbo having stole his 'precious,' whatever that was…
Having seen an opening in the rocks, Bilbo forced his way through, though sacrificing his fine brass buttons, and fell into another cavern on the other side.
As he fell, something truly extraordinary happened. As Bilbo made contact with the hard ground, the ring had flown out of his pocket and in its descent, landed right on his finger!
Bilbo had let out a shocked gasp as the world seemed to bleed gray around him. A loud rushing filled his ears and Bilbo could swear time slowed down. As he moved his hand, the appendage seemed to leave a brief blur, an imprint of its presence where it had been a second ago before fading.
The creature had leapt through after him and Bilbo had scrambled up, raising his sword and gathering himself for a fight. But much to his amazement, the creature looked around, but remained unseeing of the hobbit that stood not more than two feet from him. Bilbo Baggins was invisible! It seemed this ring was magic and, the hobbit had thought feeling relieved and pleased, was going to be very useful.
Bilbo had run after the creature until they both stopped at the sound of crashing footsteps. At that moment, a most welcome sight came hurtling past them, Gandalf! The wizard had returned and was soon followed by the rest of the company.
Bilbo had been about to call out to them, but suddenly remembered he was not only invisible, but there was still something between him and the dwarves that had not ten minutes prior expressed its delight in ripping the meat off his bones.
Bilbo raised his sword, letting it sit a few inches from the creature's neck and steadied himself. There was nothing stopping him, nothing stopping him from cleaving that wretched head from the creature's body.
Nothing except Bilbo was now longer sure he could kill something he pitied. Just as he had been about to deliver the deathblow, it had turned around and shed a tear. A few moments before, Bilbo had been telling himself that death would be a mercy for a being so miserable. Now, as it looked as if someone had ripped it's very heart from it, Bilbo couldn't bring himself to complete the strike.
'Surely to feel such sadness, one must also feel love?' Bilbo thought to himself as he continued to gaze at the creature. It must have lost something truly cherished to look so desolate. The hobbit could kill an orc, he could kill a goblin and feel no hint of remorse, but that was because those creatures were born of hate and malice and knew nothing else.
This creature had known love, had loved. No matter how violent or how miserable its life seemed, Bilbo knew now he could not be the one to end it. The hobbit took a step back, then launched himself over the creature and ran for the beautiful sunlight that poured through the exit of the cave, ignoring the cries of anger that followed him.
The hobbit made his way down the side of the mountain that was blessedly covered with mostly grass and trees. He dodged rocks here and there, hoping he wouldn't have long to go before he caught up with the company.
Bilbo was panting now, no sleep or food had left him feeling slightly dizzy, but the thought of returning to his friends, of seeing Fili and Kili's grins and Bofur's warm smile pushed him further. He knew there was no going back now. There was no return trip to Rivendell until the quest was done unless Thorin forcibly carried the hobbit himself.
Out of the cave and in the light of the setting sun, feeling deliciously alive as the air burned his lungs, Bilbo felt the dark thoughts of the cavern leave him. Maybe Thorin did want him to leave; maybe he did think that Bilbo was nothing more than a waste of time and energy. But as Bilbo thought of his friends' words, he knew in that moment, for the first time since the beginning of the journey, where he belonged right now was in the company of Thorin Oakenshield and the thirteen brave dwarves that deserved more than anything to retake their home.
Bilbo felt a surge of relief as he heard the gruff voice of Gandalf float through the trees, "but where is Bilbo, where is the hobbit?"
Thorin's voice shot back in reply, "the hobbit has left us. He saw an opportunity to go home and he took it." Bilbo thought Thorin sounded, well… angry, but there was also some stiffness in the dwarf's voice that he couldn't place.
There was some talking Bilbo couldn't make out, but he soon heard the frantic voices of Fili and Kili shouting his name. Rather being unused to invisibility, Bilbo almost ran into the group still wearing his ring. However, at that moment he felt a strangely strong desire to keep them unaware of his new treasure, at least for the time being.
Slipping the ring back into his pocket, Bilbo came out from around a tree. "Nope, still here!" Covered in dirt, his vest open, and scrapes covering his face, Bilbo was sure he didn't look as good as he felt, but nothing seemed to matter as he was quickly swept up into a hug by the two dwarf brothers.
"Where have you been? And how did you get past the goblins?" Fili asked the hobbit, relief apparent in his voice. "You had us worried sick!" added Kili indignantly but a smile broke out on his face nonetheless. Bilbo gave them a small shrug, "I, uh, got separated after we fell. And I suppose they don't take much notice to folks as small as hobbits. Plus, Master Dwarf, I am remarkably light on my feet," Bilbo gave them a teasing smile.
"Why did you come back?"
Bilbo looked away from Fili and Kili, turning to face Thorin who was looking at him rather strangely. Bilbo took a moment thinking about how to say what he wanted. "I came back because…" Bilbo began slowly, feeling a sense of liberating peace now that he had firmly decided to stay.
"I came back because I miss home."
Thorin looked at him confused. Clearly this was not the answer the dwarf had been expecting and his brows moved closer together in his uncertainty.
"I know you doubt me. And you are right to do so, for when this journey began, I admit the thought of home was on my mind more often than not. I miss my books. I miss my fires and my chair." Bilbo let out a small laugh, "I even miss my doilies of all things. But I know I miss them because they are home. They are where I belong."
Thorin's gaze on him was still unreadable as Bilbo continued, "And when this is all over, I will return home."
"That's why I came back. Because you don't have one… A home. It was taken from you," Bilbo gave Thorin a smile both bright and somber, "But I will help you take it back if I can."
Bilbo held Thorin's gaze for a few silent moments, waiting for the dwarf to react, for better or worse, but if Thorin was going to say anything, it was drowned out by a fearsome and terrible howl.
Thorin's face quickly tightened as he yelled "wargs!" followed quickly by Gandalf's booming "run!"
Bilbo felt a hand push him forward, and began to run along with Fili and Kili. The company sprinted down steep terrain as they heard the thunderous pounding of clawed feet closing in on them from behind.
Bilbo had hoped his good mood would have lasted him more than a grand total of five minutes, but seeing how the rest of the journey had gone thus far; he wasn't really sure why this still surprised him.
The wargs were now very, very close. Much too close for Bilbo to feel even remotely safe. The hobbit heard the gnashing of razor sharp teeth from somewhere behind him. Right behind him. Bilbo dove behind a tree, hoping to at least put something a little more solid than air between himself and the ravenous beast.
Panting with fear and exhaustion, Bilbo couldn't help his eyes snapping shut as he waited for jaws to close around his soft and exposed bits. That was until he heard a growl and a yelp.
Bilbo snapped his face to the side to see what happened and was met with the sight of Thorin thrusting his curved blade into the neck of the warg before twisting it then pulling Orcrist out with a loud and very disgusting squelch.
"Are you alright?" Thorin asked him hurriedly, scanning the hobbit for bites. Bilbo couldn't force his voice into making anything more complex than a rasp, so he just gave a quick nod.
Thorin looked back up the hill where more wargs were running down towards them, "draw your sword, you may need it yet." Bilbo placed a shaking hand on the hilt, pulling out the glowing blue steel.
A firm hand grasped his upper arm and pulled him forward into motion. "Keep going and find somewhere safe to hide, we'll take care of the beasts."
Bilbo suddenly realized that Thorin was planning on staying to hold them off, "No, Thorin, you can't! There's too many of them!"
Thorin growled at him as he continued to try and force Bilbo into motion away from the action, "I meant only that we'll thin the herd. I'll be right behind you, now move!"
Bilbo glanced back at the incoming wargs, and prayed that they'd all make it through this alive as he ran after the others. He made it about another minute before he heard panicked shouts. "This is a ledge, Master Gandalf!" Dori cried out from somewhere in front of him.
Bilbo quickly looked around and sure enough, they had run themselves straight into a trap, there was nowhere for them to go!
"Up the trees!" Gandalf shouted near the ledge, "climb you fools!"
Bilbo felt a moment of incredulity as he stared at the trees. 'There's no way I can climb that!' Bilbo thought angrily, feeling nothing but resentful that the wizard was severely over-estimating his height at the worst possible time.
Bilbo stood there a moment, not knowing what he should do before he heard Kili call down to him from a nearby tree, "Over here, Master Boggins! Come quick, I'll help you up!"
The hobbit ran over to the tree where Kili and his brother were hiding. The younger dwarf, in a display of impressive acrobatics, swung down so that he has hanging upside down by his knees from the lowest branch, his arms swinging down so that Bilbo could grab hold.
Bilbo quickly sheathed his sword as he reached up and Kili grasped his forearms, pulling the hobbit up with himself. There was a moment in which Bilbo was not sure exactly which way was up or where he was supped to be gripping, when he felt another set of hands pull him up further.
Fili had grasped Bilbo's pack and hauled him up to the branch he was currently standing on. Swiftly joined by Kili, the three of them made their way further up the tree.
The hobbit saw Dwalin and Thorin, the last two of their party to reach the ledge, start climbing another tree nearby. They were not a moment too soon as the wargs started to swarm the ground underneath them.
There were a few moments in which the air seemed to be permeated only by the harsh snapping and furious howls of the beasts, but out of the darkness, another voice spoke up.
Bilbo's eyes shot over to where the strangest orc he had ever seen sat atop a warg the color of cold snow. The orc had scars covering its face and chest, but its most distinctive feature was the twisted metal claw it sported instead of a right hand.
It began to speak in a voice that sent chills down the hobbits spine; it's words all but dripping with malice and a thirst for bloody violence. Bilbo couldn't understand what the orc said but he was almost positive he picked up the names 'Thorin' and 'Thrain' as it began to sniff the air before giving them a sharp-toothed smile.
Bilbo heard a strangled and disbelieving "Azog!" from somewhere to his left in Thorin's unmistakable voice. The hobbit saw Fili's had grip a branch white knuckled and heard Kili let out a low, "it's not possible…"
Turing back to the orc, Bilbo felt his fear skyrocket. This orc was Azog the Defiler. The same orc that had beheaded Thorin's father right in front him, the same orc that had killed scores of skilled dwarf warriors. And now he was here, smiling at them like he was going to rip their limbs off one by one and be all the more delighted for it. Which, in all fairness, he probably would.
Bilbo didn't have much time to consider all the possible gruesome and thoroughly unpleasant ways Azog could kill them because the wargs had begun to attack the trees.
The hobbit and two dwarves were suddenly jerked backwards, Bilbo only just hanging on to the branch in front of him, as three of the wargs started to tear apart the base of the tree.
Bilbo heard Fili mutter something in dwarvish angrily before he addressed the hobbit, "this tree isn't going to last long, we're going to have to jump."
"Jump?" Bilbo let out a strangled laugh, "Jump where exactly?" There was another jerk as the tree started to fall back towards the edge of the cliff, Kili shot in hurriedly, "as soon as we get close enough, jump to the next tree!"
Bilbo was just about to tell the brothers just how idioticand ridiculous this idea was, when the tree crashed into the one behind to it. The hobbit didn't so much as jump as find himself being flung towards another branch.
Thankfully the hobbit was able to grab a branch and found a relatively thick piece of tree to place his feet. Bilbo looked down to see the two dwarves were slightly below him, both seemed to be unharmed.
He didn't have much time to appreciate this new stability, however, as the wargs had immediately begun to take this tree down as well. Though Bilbo was now aware of what was going to happen, it didn't make the next jump any less terrifying.
This process happened two more times before the entire company found itself on Gandalf's tree that rested, in Bilbo's opinion, much too close to the edge of the cliff.
Bilbo found himself on a branch just below Fili and just above Kili. The wargs seemed to halt their attack at the command of Azog, who raised a deathly white hand to point a clawed finger at Thorin before he slowly drew it across his neck, indicating that they would very soon be missing a rather crucial part of their anatomy.
The wargs howled with malicious delight and resumed their attack on the tree. This one was rather studier than the rest, but it didn't take long before Bilbo felt it begin to tilt backwards towards emptiness.
Bilbo suddenly felt something hot fall into his lap. Confused, the hobbit looked up just in time to see Fili throwing a flaming pinecone at the beasts, a sudden and impossible inferno bursting from its depth.
Feeling hope for the first time since they had started running, Bilbo quickly grasped the pinecone in his lap and launched it with all his strength. The flaming cone sailed through the air until it hit one of the wargs square in the face. It let out a surprised yelp as the flames raced out.
The rest of the company threw the pinecones until the hill before them was ablaze with the light of Gandalf's inferno. A few of the company let out whoops of glee as a fearsome roar tore from Azog's throat.
Bilbo was just about shoot Fili a grin when he felt the tree begin to fall backwards again. Clinging on for dear life, Bilbo squeezed his eyes shut, waiting for the sensation of a plummeting death to take him, but just when the tree was laying flat against the earth, the roots held fast. They were alive!
Bilbo's legs were dangling as he tried to haul himself onto the branch. He was so concerned with getting his leg onto the tree, Bilbo almost missed the sight of Thorin, eyes blazing with as much fury as the fire raging in front of them, pull out his sword and start to run towards Azog.
Bilbo watched in horror as Thorin let out a fierce cry, picking up speed as he hurtled towards the orc. The hobbit wanted to shout out to Thorin, to tell him to turn back, that he was outnumbered and outmatched but any words he had died in his throat as he saw the great, white warg leap out and plow into the dwarf.
Thorin was able to dodge the worst of the impact by tucking into a roll, but the claws of the beast raked his back. Azog forced his mount around for another attack as Thorin pulled himself back up, taking up his oaken-shield.
The beast lunged forward, Azog preparing to bring his mace down on the dwarf who swung Orcrist in a great arc. There was a flurry of movement that Bilbo couldn't quite make out as the attacks met but the hobbit felt his face slacken in terror as he saw the mace connect with Thorin's back in a fearsome blow.
The dwarf crumpled in a heap as Azog turned around once more. The warg growled as Azog whispered something into its ear and Bilbo could feel the fear wrack through him as the beast closed its jaws around Thorin's body and begun to shake viciously.
It was Dwalin's desperate cry to his leader that jolted Bilbo into action. He had to help. He had to do something. If Bilbo had taken the time to consider the repercussions of running into a battle, woefully unprepared, against a foe that had slain hundreds of warriors, the hobbit just might have thrown up.
Hauling himself up onto the branch in a burst of strength, Bilbo scrambled onto the trunk just in time to see Thorin plant his fist into the warg's snout before it flung him across the clearing. The dwarf didn't appear to be moving as Bilbo heard Azog growl out a command to one of the other orcs.
Bilbo drew out his sword and ran. 'He must live, he must live!' Bilbo chanted to himself over and over again as he sprinted towards the dwarf, ignoring the shouts behind him and the blaze around him.
It didn't matter what happened to him, what mattered was that Thorin be able to reclaim his kingdom, that Thorin be able to grow old and watch his nephews and people enjoy the prosperity and peace they so rightly deserved.
What did Bilbo have? A house? A hole in the ground? What did any of those things even matter. Thorin had people who needed him, people who were depending on him, people who loved him. Thorin had to live!
Bilbo threw himself with all the force he could muster into the orc that had raised its sword to end the dwarf's life. They collided in a heap of limbs and armor, but Bilbo let out fierce yell as he stabbed the orc again and again before it could attack.
The hobbit stumbled off the now still orc, practically falling over himself as he placed his body between Thorin and Azog. Every part of Bilbo's body ached but he raised his sword in both hands towards the incredulous face of the orc. He said no words, but Bilbo made it clear that we would die before they laid another dirty finger on the dwarf.
There was a quiet moment in which Bilbo met Azog's light blue eyes and the hobbit saw death. He pictured the orc coming towards him and swinging that spiked mace into his body. Bilbo could feel in his mind the impact as it connected with his body, the feeling of the spikes splitting his skin and blood pouring out of him as the world crashed down in a swell of noise and pain.
And yet, as the he raised his chin towards the orc in defiance, despite all his fear, Bilbo had never felt more at peace. If he was going to die, then he would die in service of a friend. He would die because when faced with the choice of watching a friend be slain or doing what he could to stop it, Bilbo Baggins would always choose to help.
Bilbo took a deep breath, readying himself for whatever was to come. Azog and his mount started to move forward slowly, when Bilbo heard shouts come from his right as the dwarves began to run out in defense of their leader.
The hobbit barely had time to relish the swell of hope in his chest when one of the orcs rushed over to him. The dwarves and Bilbo engaged their enemy, fighting fiercely for several mintues before the shrill cries of what sounded like birds came from above.
Bilbo had just managed to stick his sword rather unceremoniously into the orc as it came to a stuttering halt, looking at the steel imbedded in its flesh as if not quite believing a hobbit had actually managed to land a hit.
The hobbit pulled his sword free with some difficulty before he turned and saw several massive eagles swooping down, picking off the wargs with ease. Bilbo couldn't help but gape at the sight, never having seen a bird larger than a horse before.
The next several minutes were filled with the flapping of great wings and the howls of the wargs as they were tossed over the side of the cliff. Bilbo saw the eagles begin to pick up the dwarves now, and it dawned on him that the eagles were actually going to rescuethem.
While he most certainly appreciated the help, Bilbo in no way saw the appeal of being picked up in a giant set of claws and hurtling through the air. No thank you, he was a hobbit that lived in the ground, and ground is where he would most certainly like to stay.
Bilbo saw one of the eagles begin to descend straight towards him. 'Oh no,' he thought panicking, 'Oh no, no, no!' the hobbit started to walk backwards but the eagle was apparently having none that and proceeded to wrap its large foot around his body. Bilbo was jerked up forcefully as the eagle gained altitude again before soaring over the edge of the cliff.
The hobbit had just accepted the fact that this was actuallyhappening when the eagle suddenly let go. Bilbo let out a frightened yell as he plummeted through the air until he landed on the back of another eagle. Clutching more tightly to the feathers than was probably considered polite, Bilbo breathed rapidly until he calmed down.
The group of eagles flew with the company of Thorin Oakenshield through the night. Dawn was breaking over the mountains and Bilbo couldn't help but gape in awe at the sight. The rosy pink light glittered across the white snow of the mountains and bathed the forests below them in a quiet and beautiful light.
It was hard for Bilbo to believe that such horrors as orcs and goblins could exist simultaneously in a world that was so breathtakingly stunning.
They continued to fly for a while longer until Bilbo felt his eagle start to descend towards a plateau of rock jutting out from the ground. The eagles landed one by one, dropping off their passengers, before taking off once again, heading for the distant horizon.
The company swarmed around Thorin's motionless body all clamoring to see if their leader was alive. Gandalf pushed through the tightly packed group of dwarves and knelt at Thorin's side.
Bilbo stood at the outside of the group, wringing his hands, but not wanting to get any closer for fear of getting in the way. Gandalf ran his hand slowly above the dwarf's face, muttering ancient and unknown words, until Thorin's eyes started to flutter open.
There was a collective sigh of relief amongst the company as Thorin slowly began to sit up, "Where…" Thorin began, his voice quiet and raspy, "where is the hobbit?"
Gandalf smiled down at the dwarf before moving to the side, unblocking Bilbo from Thorin's view, "he is quite alright."
Bilbo met Thorin's unreadable gaze as the dwarf started to stand up, albeit with much strain. Dwalin quickly hurried to his friend's side, attempting to help Thorin up who just batted the larger dwarf's hands away.
Thorin began to limp forward towards Bilbo, who hadn't even the faintest idea what he was supposed to be doing. "Did I not say that you would be a burden?" Thorin began to speak but the hobbit couldn't make out the tone in his voice.
Bilbo felt the relieved smile slip off his face as Thorin continued to slowly make his way closer, "did I not say you would not survive in the wild? That you had no place amongst us?"
Bilbo's heart clenched painfully at the dwarf's words and couldn't find any to defend himself. Thorin stopped when they were barely a foot apart.
The dwarf held Bilbo's gaze fiercely for a few moments before he placed both hands on the hobbit's arms, gripping them tightly, then pulling Bilbo forward into his chest.
Bilbo felt Thorin's arms move around him and grip the hobbit tightly to his body before he spoke in the gentlest voice Bilbo had ever heard the dwarf use, "I have never been so wrong in all my life."
Bilbo was… well… shocked was understatement. Pleased, yes, but undeniably shocked. The hobbit slowly raised his arms, half waiting for Thorin to suddenly push him away, but once he realized that the dwarf was not letting go any time soon, he returned the embrace just as fiercely.
Bilbo felt an impossibly wide smile break over his face, feeling for that moment the world could have come down around them and he wouldn't have cared. Thorin was alive and that's all that mattered.
Thorin pulled away and, for the first time since Bilbo had met him, had a warm smile on his face. The hobbit felt his breath catch as the early sunlight washed over Thorin's face and Bilbo saw the dwarf, saw the king, he knew lay beneath the years of pain, and it was truly mesmerizing.
"I owe you my life, Bilbo Baggins, a debt I will not forget." Bilbo flushed in embarrassment, 'These dwarves really need to stop getting so caught up in this life-debt business,' Bilbo thought both flustered and exasperated.
"No need, really, Master Oakenshield. Any of your company would have done the same. I just, uh, got there the fastest I suppose. Which is really quite surprising, if you think about it, given how short my legs are—" Bilbo stopped rambling suddenly seeing the frown on Thorin's face. It was a different sort of frown though, not full of disparagement as they had been before.
"Thorin," the dwarf said shortly.
Bilbo stared at their leader blankly, starting to wonder if maybe he had received a blow to the head, "Uh, yes… that's your name…"
Thorin gave the hobbit a rather unimpressed look; "You may call me Thorin, if it pleases you."
The hobbit felt slightly confused, but didn't want to seem rude, not when they were just beginning their friendship, "It… does?"
Thorin nodded satisfied with Bilbo's answer before his expression turned serious again, "you stood between myself and death, Bilbo Baggins. You have allowed me keep the only thing that has ever remained truly mine and for that I am more grateful than you can ever know. I have little in my possession and nothing so dear to me as life."
Bilbo looked back at Thorin before glancing over his shoulder at the company of dwarves that chatted happily amongst themselves, clearly overjoyed that their leader was alive.
Glancing back to where Thorin was still gazing at him intensely, Bilbo smiled, "you have a great many things in your possession, Thorin, though I think a good deal of them are intangible. You have the love of your family and the unyielding devotion of your friends, that is a treasure only a lucky few can claim."
Thorin turned to look around at his company, their gazes instantly drawn to their leader, affection and relief clearly written on every face. "Yes… I… I believe you are right, Bilbo Baggins," Thorin spoke softly as he looked from the company to the hobbit that stood beside him, "I believe you are right."
A/N Part II aka TL;DR why it took 94 pages to get some Bagginshield shit goin on in hurr
So I know I said this story would be a slow burn, but I almost didn't realize myself that it is possibly the slowest of burns probably because I never thought it would be this long. In short, I only know what I like and what I like is a realistic and gradual development of feelings that are still in character. For me, friendship and more seriously love can only be founded on a basis of respect between the two individuals. I hope I have characterized Bilbo and Thorin accurately enough that the development of their relationship seems plausible.
To me, Thorin at the beginning of the story most certainly does not respect Bilbo. And why should he? Here's this hobbit, this creature of comfort that knows nothing of hardship or tragedy and yet has everything Thorin has ever wanted for his people. Bilbo is safe, he is comfortable, and he is happy. I think in many ways, Thorin is envious of Bilbo, not necessarily for himself, but for his nephews and his people that were forced from their home.
As I sort of explicated through Fili above, Thorin has been forced to lead his people across like half the map of Middle Earth. Yes, Thorin is a king, he is their leader, but remember that Thorin had lived in Erebor his whole life. He was trained in leading his people from a throne, from an almost impregnable stronghold, and now here he is, leading the shattered remnants of an entire city through undefended plains and places he probably has never been to before.
I believe in his journey, Thorin quickly learned that men were not kind, that without his kingdom, he no longer had respect and deference given to him without effort. Thorin had to learn to be swift and decisive in his judgement because if he made a mistake, if he trusted the wrong person, it was not just his life in jeopardy, but also the lives of his sister, his nephews, and his people. I think years of this would harden Thorin in ways that Smaug's attack couldn't. He saw the harshness of life, the bitterness of despair, and the felt hopelessness of the wanderer.
But, seeing as how he was their prince, Thorin couldn't show any of this. He had to keep a brave face on so that he could become a beacon of hope for his people who had lost everything. In this way I think Thorin finds it much easier to become what he thinks a person sees him as versus trying to define himself as an individual. His people need to see him as their fearless, stoic leader, and so to them that's what Thorin becomes. His nephews need him to fill the role of a father in the absence of their own, so he is a stern uncle who cares but rarely expresses his own emotions or needs. His company needs him to be fearless and driven, to be sure and never doubt his confidence in their ability to take back Erebor, and so that's how he leads them.
So after years of this, the aspects Thorin had before the fire that weren't necessary to him now were buried deep. On the outside, Thorin would be whatever his people needed, but inside he clung to the only thing that kept him driven through those years of hardship, to his rage and obsession for home, because it was safer and easier than actually confronting the tragedy that had befallen him. He allowed himself to become single-minded in his goal after the dwarves reached the Blue Mountains and soon that rage and bitterness was the only thing Thorin felt for any extended period of time.
So here he comes to Bag End, reluctant to meet this supposed Burglar, but he knows he needs Gandalf who refuses to help him if he does not consider this hobbit. Thorin sees this small, soft man who, despite knowing nothing about the cruelty of life, has the gall to speak back to the dwarf, to act like he is anything other than a burden and it infuriates him. Thorin makes his judgement and decides this hobbit is utterly worthless.
However, as the journey starts, Thorin realizes that this hobbit has no tie to him. He expects nothing of Thorin and has no knowledge of the dwarf except for a brief introduction in his home. For the first time in what feels like a lifetime, Thorin is unsure how to act because he doesn't need to be anything to Bilbo. It is both incredibly frightening and uncomfortable to Thorin who, in his uncertainty, doesn't know how to deal with this hobbit other than expressing the emotions that he is actually feeling. Sure, he doesn't respect Bilbo and it shows, but that doesn't stop the kernel of relief he feels whenever he talks to the hobbit because he can say something truly genuine, without censoring himself.
After Bilbo saves Kili, in my version of events at least, this is when Thorin begins to realize that perhaps there is more to the hobbit than he had perviously thought. However, in his years of making snap judgements, and having gotten quite good at being accurate, Thorin stubbornly refuses to change his opinion of Bilbo despite on some level, though probably unconsciously, realizing that he misjudged Bilbo.
So they continue on the journey and Thorin can't help but notice that his nephews and a few of the other dwarves have grown quite close with the hobbit. Thorin can't understand why because still views Bilbo as useless and a waste, and it basically frustrates the living shit out of him. He tries to just ignore the hobbit but every night when he sees his nephews go over to sleep next to Bilbo, in what I think would but seen as a bit strange by dwarvish standards and probably kind of intimate. Thorin yet again gets this niggling feeling in the back of his mind that he might just be wrong.
I think this dislike and frustration comes to a climax in Rivendell when he sees this hobbit talking with the elves like its not even a thing and even sort of directly challenges him. Thorin can't deal with it in any other way than to lash out. When he talks with Bilbo the night before they leave, the hobbit says things to him that he dared not even consider once in all his years for fear of losing his drive to get back home, of losing the fire that kept him angry but numb to the pain. Because at this point, that's Thorin really defines himself as. He is the hope and the fire within the dwarves to get back what was theirs and to have someone who he views as ignorant and weak say that his home is with the people he loves and not in the lost halls of Erebor, Thorin starts flipping tits because this is a direct contradiction to everything he has become.
So when Thorin asks Bilbo why he came back and Bilbo tells him because he wanted to help him reclaim his home, he see's for the first time since meeting the hobbit, that despite disagreeing with him fundamentally, the hobbit was willing to concede that that there was nothing, nothing more important to Thorin than getting Erebor back. And because it was important to Thorin, it was important to Bilbo. It didn't matter to the hobbit anymore what Thorin needed, he simply knew that Thorin needed something and so he would support the dwarf regardless of what it was. I think at this point Thorin realizes that, unlike him, the hobbit is capable of great change and growth and there is something amazing in that.
What Thorin needed to sort of cinch the deal so to speak was a paradigm shift in how he viewed Bilbo. And that came after the hobbit saved Thorin from Azog. Thorin saw this hobbit whom he had shown nothing but contempt, save his life and then place himself in front of a foe that could tear the hobbit in two without a single thought. And yet, here he was, obviously terrified but also determined. Bilbo was not brave because he ran in to save Thorin without fear, waving his sword with some macho yell; he was brave because he flung himself into that situation in spite of that fear for a man he owed nothing.
For Thorin, there are few things in the world more valued to him than his life. Yes he still had his sister, his nephews, and his friends. But the only thing he felt that was truly spared, that really hadn't been taken from him in the fire of Erebor was his life. I think on some level, without his home, that's really all he feels that he still has that is truly his own. And so his life was dedicated to getting back what he had. When Bilbo saves Thorin, he doesn't just save his life though, he also saves the ideal of Erebor that resides in Thorin alone. By protecting him, Bilbo had also protected what is most important to Thorin. It was in that moment as Thorin passes out; the last image he sees being the hobbit raising his sword in defiance to the same orc that beheaded his beloved grandfather and drove his father to madness, Thorin realizes he has never been more wrong about anything.
The hobbit is not useless or helpless. The hobbit is the strongest person Thorin has ever met, not just because of his bravery, but because Bilbo is willing to change and adapt, because Bilbo has this shining and infinite capacity for growth and an unyielding hope. Thorin sees that for the first time and finds that he cannot deny any longer that Bilbo Baggins is a better and stronger man than he ever could have imagined.
And that, dear people, is why it took 94 pages for me to write them doing something so small, and yet so remarkably significant, as embracing as friends. So I realize that this is super slow burn, and it will continue to slow burn, but I hope my writing and characterizations reflect the complexity and depth of the characters Tolkien gave us.
TL;DR Thorin gives new meaning to the phrase "emotionally constipated" and Bilbo is a badass.