A/N: Wow, okay so it has been like ridiculously long since my last update, and I genuinely apologise. I don't really know if you all will still be interested because of that, but I promised an update by one reviewer Naya's Snixxx and so I intend to stick to it. So here it is... Enjoy!
Chapter Nine
A Day Later
1st April 2012
Golden blonde hair was blowing away in the cold, breezy night. Spring would be approaching soon, yet it still felt like early winter in Ohio. Many people still wrapping themselves warm with coats, hats and scarves, especially in the night.
One of these people was the woman walking down the street now, with her pale skin shining in the dark, her hair flying around with the wind. Her dark yellow coat, coming out brighter in the night.
But Brittany didn't care about that, she didn't care about the wind or her hair, she knew that it was getting late but she wasn't in a rush to get home. Even though she didn't like to make people worry, James could wait, and besides she left him a message before she went. So she knew that he wouldn't be too scared.
It had been a day since she last saw her. The day before yesterday was the day her world began to make sense again. The night of her engagement party she felt complete. All because she had seen her.
Santana Lopez.
The one person she never thought she would ever see again was back in her life once more. For one dance, one song, everything was perfect. Then she had to go and tell her to leave, the one person she had been dreaming of seeing again for seven years. And when Brittany does see her again all she can really say to her is to leave and to never come back. And that's exactly what she did. She left, once again.
Brittany felt so stupid; she hated herself for making her go, again. She hated herself for having an almost moment with her at her own engagement party. She hated herself for not being able to look James in the eyes because of it. But the thing that annoyed her most was above all that, she hated herself more than anything for wanting to have kiss her back.
Everything was right at that moment, it was perfect, and they were just so close. But she couldn't allow herself to do it. She couldn't even say a proper goodbye to her, like she had wanted to do all those years ago. She couldn't even see her; she just walked away and didn't watch her leave. She didn't even know that she had left until Quinn told her, and she couldn't even bring herself to feel anything. She couldn't even cry. Even now, the one thing she wanted – and needed – to do more than anything, she just couldn't bring herself to do.
All she could do was just sit and think that was all she had been doing yesterday. With her ever caring James doing everything he could to make sure she was alright, even going as far as leaving her alone and sleeping on the couch, again. But she couldn't even bring herself to feel bad for him, not really. And after having enough of him staring at her with sad, worried eyes Brittany finally got up and left. She knew that she couldn't stay around the house moping anymore; she didn't even know why she was doing that in the first place. She had no time to be acting like this; she was getting married in a month. So she decided to get up and clear her head. That would be the only way she would ever solve whatever it was she was going through.
So as soon as James left the house - she couldn't remember why he had she just knew he said something about leaving before he picked up his keys and went - she wrote her note, grabbed her coat and left without a second thought about it. She didn't even know where she was going, she just knew she needed to walk around and think, so that's what she did. She never planned on going anywhere; she just let her feet do the walking whilst her brain tried its hardest to reassure her. But it wasn't working, none of it was, up until she ended up here, in the one place she least expected to be.
She had no idea how she got here, or why, she was just here, and all Brittany could do was smile into her scarf – which she had wrapped around her face, she didn't realise how cold it would be tonight.
Suddenly she was filled with memories, memories of her.
Memories of Santana.
She was here, at their park with the slide and the swings. And Brittany couldn't have been happier. It was almost like she was ten again, and sneaking out to their park with her best friend at her side. She squealed with joy, just like she always used to do whenever Santana surprised her by bringing her here.
She wanted to run over to the small river in the middle where all the ducks were, where she would endlessly beg Santana to help feed them. She wanted to go over to the park with the slide and the swings and just reminisce of the happiest days of her life. She wanted to lie down in the small, open field and stare at the endless stars in the sky. But what she wanted to do more than anything was to do all this, with Santana by her side. Just like they used to do before, back when they were young and had the world at their feet.
But then Brittany remembered that she wasn't young anymore, she wasn't that little ten year old girl out with her best friend. She was twenty-four and about to get married, to someone she hadn't expected to at all. She was in the park where most of her dreams where held, by herself. Not a single soul by her side.
Brittany's smile dropped. She wrapped her arms around herself as she felt the cold breeze of the night once more.
Why was she here? What was she doing here?
She didn't even know Brittany hadn't the slightest clue how this would help clear her brain at all. If anything it was just making it worse. But for some reason Brittany couldn't bring herself to leave, she couldn't even think about doing so.
She just knew that she was supposed to be here, otherwise why else would her feet bring her here. All she knew was that this would be the last time she would let them do the walking. But for now, that was exactly what Brittany was going to do. Just walk.
Brittany didn't know what the time was, she didn't have a watch and she forgot her phone again. But by the looks of the darkness she guessed it was getting really late. She didn't care one bit. She started to walk by the side of the river, watching the water as it flowed down the stream, there were no ducks that she could see, maybe they were hiding. She didn't know. She just knew that she was by herself, all over again.
That was when she started to remember that day in the choir room, before Quinn came along. She remembered what she had been thinking, when she was lying down on the chairs, wrapped up in Santana's shirt – she hadn't seen that shirt in a long time, she hadn't gone anywhere near it since she put it away, and yet she still knew where it was, she always knew where it was. She remembered that she had thought to sing a song.
Maybe if she sung something now, it could help, if it worked for her before it could work again. It would be better than walking around in silence anyway.
Brittany began to hum out the tune of the first song that came to mind. It was one that she'd listened to a couple of days ago, and as soon as she heard it she loved it and knew that she had to learn the words. She was glad that she did, though, as it was perfect, the song fit the moment perfectly.
# I walked across, an empty land
I knew the pathway like the back of my hand
Brittany began to walk ahead, her voice starting off quiet. In the distance, not far off, she could make out something across the river and she knew straight away that it was the old croaky bridge. Santana and her would run across it all the time when they were young, but always ended up coming back again in a few seconds as it only lead to the 'Scary Forest' as they called it. Brittany decided to head there.
I felt the earth, beneath my feet
Sat by the river and it made me complete
Brittany bent down and touched the long grass, it was cold and dry, just like the night air. She let out a small sigh. She was at the bridge now, she noticed that it still looked just the same, she hadn't been here in a while but the bridge was still just as old and brown as it always was. She started to walk across and found that it was just as croaky too.
Oh simple thing, where have you gone?
I'm getting old and I need something to rely on
When she got to the middle she came to an abrupt stop. She went over to the edge and looked down to the water. Even though it was near pitch black, she could just about make out her reflection from the moonlight.
She didn't realise how pale she was until she saw herself. She wasn't her glowing self anymore; it seemed her newly-engaged shine was slowly starting to wear off. Her eyes looked dark, not the bright blue they were beginning to become again. She looked sad and lost, just like she felt. She really did need something to rely on. Then suddenly she was filled with Santana's heavenly voice clear in her mind. Even when she was fourteen she couldn't get enough of it.
"You can always rely on me, B. I'm not going anywhere."
Brittany smiled, she remembered the way Santana had said that so simply, like it was obvious. But that was because back then, it was.
When Brittany looked back down, she let out a gasp. Her face wasn't the only one in the river anymore. She could see Santana's too. She was smiling back at her, that smile that made her eyes crinkle and outlined her dimples. Brittany hadn't seen that face in a long time.
So tell me when, your gonna let me in
I'm getting tired and I need somewhere to begin
Brittany found herself smiling back, she really could always rely on her precious Latina. When she looked closely she could see that she had her arm wrapped around her shoulders. And even though Brittany was the taller out of the two, Santana still managed to make her head lean down on top of hers. Brittany missed when they would do this.
It looked so real, it was almost like she was really there beside her. She began to lift up her hand and bring it to Santana's one on her shoulder. She wanted so badly to hold it, to hold her. She tried to reach for it but came out empty. Her hand went straight through Santana's and landed on her shoulder. Brittany's smile faltered. She wasn't beside her after all.
I came across, a fallen tree
I felt the branches of it looking at me
Brittany looked away; she couldn't bear to see her perfect face looking up at her, only to know that her face wasn't really there. Beside her. Brittany began to continue walking, straight through the rest of the bridge to the other side and didn't stop until she reached the first tree. She began to stroke the hard bark of wood. It felt raggedy to her touch. It wasn't something she'd like to scrap her skin on; she knew that was for sure. After a beat she began to turn away and head back.
Is this the place, we used to love?
Is this the place that I've been dreaming of?
She started to look around at the park in front of her. All the memories, all the laughter, she remembered them all clear as day. This was their park; it always had been and always would be.
Oh simple thing, where have you gone?
I'm getting old and I need something to rely on
Everything happened here for them. Their first hug, their first hand hold, their first tears as they argued for the first time. Their first kiss happened right there on the swings, under the stars. That was also the first time Brittany realised she loved her, when she was thirteen and her best friend's eyes fluttered open. The way she looked at her, the way she smiled, the way she didn't hold back as she leaned in for more told Brittany everything.
It was when she got to the middle of the bridge again that Brittany's eyes began to water, she didn't even know why. She just knew that if she were to cry she wasn't going to hold them back.
So tell me when, your gonna let me in
I'm getting tired and I need somewhere to begin
Her voice started to get croakier as her eyes welled up even more. She barely just managed to get the words out when she got to the end of the bridge and she saw her.
She was there, right in front of her, staring at her with those big brown eyes, her plump lips giving a small pout. Brittany let out a surprised gasp, she couldn't believe she was really there in front of her.
Brittany reached out to touch her just to be sure that she was really there, her hand slowly made its way to hers, just like she had wanted it to earlier.
And she felt it.
She barely grazed her skin, but she felt it, she felt her. Brittany knew this was real, it was really her standing there. Brittany's eyes snapped up to Santana's face just in time to see her take a small breathe in, almost like she was preparing herself for something. Brittany was just about to stop her and ask her what she was doing here, until Santana began to sing.
And if you have a minute why don't we go
Talk about it somewhere only we know?
Brittany didn't think she could breathe. She was singing to her. After seven whole years of not seeing one another, and only hearing her voice through the television or radio, she was finally hearing her face to face, all over again. And that's all it took for Brittany's tears to come falling down.
This could be the end of everything
So why don't we go, somewhere only we know?
Somewhere only we know
Santana's voice was quiet, almost like she was singing the words just for her to hear and that made Brittany know that she meant every word. It was a bit shaky too as Santana began to see her tears falling and Brittany saw Santana's eyes glaze over too.
But Brittany didn't care about any of that, she was singing to her again. Singing to her in that beautiful angelic voice of hers, Santana's voice was the only music she needed to hear.
Oh simple thing, where have you gone?
I'm getting old and I need something to rely on
Brittany began to sing along with her, their voices moulding together to make one. Brittany had never heard anything more beautiful. It wasn't until she looked down that she realised her hand had started to move of its own accord and latched itself onto the caramel skin of the Latinas in front of her. Brittany looked back up and sent Santana a warm smile. She crinkled her nose and smiled back.
So tell me when, your gonna let me in
I'm getting tired and I need somewhere to begin
Brittany didn't know how close to each other they really were until she saw Santana take a step closer and she felt her breath on her skin. She was so close she could smell her. She smelt so intoxicating it took everything in her not to just give in right then and there. For Santana, she would.
She could feel Santana lean in a bit more, her lips barely grazing her cheek. Brittany's breathe hitched; she couldn't believe this was all real. She didn't realise that Santana had stopped singing until she started to speak, her warm breathe grazing her ear.
"Are you hearing the song in her head?" she asked her quietly.
All Brittany could do was nod.
"Good" she said, leaning back a bit to look her in the eyes. "I am too, keep hearing it and follow me" she told her simply before tightening her hold on her hand and pulling her forwards.
And if you have a minute why don't we go
Talk about it somewhere only we know?
Brittany could hear Santana's beautiful voice in her mind and she loved it. She was surrounded by Santana, just like she used to be before. She let Santana lead, even though she didn't know where they were going, she knew she could trust her. Brittany knew she would follow the woman anywhere.
This could be the end of everything
So why don't we go? So why don't we go?
They ended up just outside the park with the slide and the swings and Brittany's smile grew ten-fold. It reached all the way to her eyes, and all Brittany could think was just how amazing the Latina woman in front of her was. She would be the only person to ever know to take her here, to their park. Brittany quickly wiped away the tears in her eyes, she couldn't believe she was crying this much over how perfect Santana was.
She saw the way Santana's eyes begin to soften, her smile growing bigger to the point where her dimples could just about be seen. She saw her move in closer as she said.
"Hey Brittany"
"Yeah?" she whispered out, she still couldn't quiet find her voice yet.
"I've missed you, so much."
Brittany felt her heart leap out of her, she saw it flip and she swore she could see it bounce into Santana's own. She felt them become one, all over again. And all she had to do was say those simple words.
Oh this could be the end of everything
So why don't we go, somewhere only we know?
"I know" she choked out. Brittany took a small breathe in before saying it again more clearly "I know."
That was all Santana had to hear before she gave her a gentle nod in reply and took her inside their park. The one place she hadn't been in for longer than she could remember. Santana squeezed her hand reassuringly, Brittany squeezed back. And then they were facing it. Their slide, in all its shining glory, the cold, metal glowing in the night sky. It was a lot smaller than Brittany remembered, but she knew they would still be able to fit on it, it was pretty wide. Santana had one leg on one side of it and placed her other leg on the other side, so that each leg were on the sides, before sitting down in the middle.
She saw how Santana fell a bit, not realising how low the slide was, this made Brittany giggle. Santana whipped her head round to hers and looked at her in awe, Brittany's heart began to melt. She never knew how Santana could make her feel like this, just by looking at her.
Somewhere only we know
Brittany followed her lead and stepped in front of her and slowly sat down. It was a long way to the bottom, as the slide ended near the ground, but she soon felt the cold, hard surface. Santana scooted up a bit to give her room and Brittany could feel her lean down.
Once she was sure that Santana was lying flat on the slide, she started to lean back as well. But instead of feeling the cold surface all over her back too, like Santana must have done, she was met with soft warmth that she hadn't felt in forever. Brittany was lying on Santana again, but it wasn't until she felt warm arms snake around her waist until they met in the middle that she felt truly at home. She felt warm and safe. Lying there, in Santana's arms. Her eyes fluttered closed as her mouth slowly opened.
"Santana?" she said ever so gently, she wasn't even sure that Santana heard it until she heard her reply back with a simple 'Mmm?'
"I've missed you too" she admitted, taking a deep breath first. It took her seven years, but she'd finally managed to let it out and Brittany could feel a huge wave wash over her. She was finally at peace.
Somewhere only we know
Present Day – The Next Day
2nd April 2012
"And that's it?" Quinn asked impatiently, not believing that it could just end there. "You just laid there for the rest of the night."
Brittany quickly shook her head, remembering where she was all of a sudden. She looked back at Quinn to see her frustrated face, and people thought she had patience, oh how wrong they were.
"What, no, of course that's not all" Brittany said, scrunching up her face as she did so. "We just talked for a bit, had a little dance and then went home."
"What? What do you mean just had a little dance" Quinn snapped back her eyes disbelieving "I know it was clearly so much more than that, I saw how the other dance went down Brittany."
"Wait, you saw that," she squeaked out, why hadn't she said anything?
She couldn't believe someone else had witnessed their special moment.
"Of course I did, Santana wasn't the only one that ran after you to the garden you know" Quinn told her matter-of-factly. "And that was way more than 'just a dance' I could practically feel the chemistry between you two. So much so that I wasn't even surprised when I saw what else was supposed to happen too." Quinn said with that all-knowing smirk.
"You should be thanking me because if it wasn't for me telling Hayleigh where you were I know exactly how that would have ended."
"You told Hayleigh," Brittany gasped out. She couldn't believe she would do that.
"Yeah I told Hayleigh, it was either her or your mom, you should be grateful that I was smart enough to go with my head. You can't just be going around kissing other people at your own engagement party Brittany," she said to her sternly.
Her voice rising higher at the end, Brittany could see the true disappointment in her eyes, but when she looked really closely she could see a small twinkle too, like she was slightly happy for her at the same time.
That just confused Brittany even more, and that wasn't what she had come here for. She was supposed to come to Quinn's to get her head straightened out, to clear her thoughts like she was meant to have done last night, but that changed completely. Just like how it did when she got to Quinn's too; she knew she shouldn't have mentioned seeing Santana again. She knew that as soon as the name left her mouth Quinn would want to know all about it. So that's what she found herself doing instead, repeating the entire story of last night.
But now that she thought about it, she was glad Quinn did what she did, she really shouldn't have done that, with Santana especially.
But she just couldn't help herself.
"I know Q. I know, but those nights were both just so amazing. So filled with Santana, what was I supposed to do," she let out honestly.
"You were supposed to leave her alone, to never see her again. But I guess last night wasn't your fault, she did come and find you. But Britt, if you can honestly look into my eyes right now and tell me that the dance last night didn't end up like the one at the party I'll leave it alone for good?" she asked her sincerely.
Brittany immediately looked into her eyes, but seeing that disappointment, she knew that she couldn't lie to her.
"I… It- I can't" she said, her eyes looking down, her face fallen, she was truly ashamed of herself.
Poor James, he was such a nice guy, and she was going around doing this. She didn't deserve him in the slightest.
"So you did kiss her!" Quinn gasped out.
"No, no, we didn't – I swear."
"Well then what happened? You're killing me here!" Quinn let out exasperated. Brittany could tell she just wanted to know already, and she supposed she deserved to know the rest of the story too. She really did need to thank her.
"Fine, I'll tell you. Where was I?"
"You told her that you missed her too whilst thinking of the rest of the song in your head" Quinn answered immediately. Brittany would have laughed at her friend's eagerness if she wasn't so ashamed of herself right then.
"Right, and after that nothing much happened, we just lay there cuddling for a while longer making small chit chat. Everything was fine, comfortable, perfect and just when I thought she couldn't get any more amazing, she began to sing again…"
"Are you going to tell me what's wrong or do I have to guess for myself?" Santana asked her light-heartedly.
Brittany's eyes opened up a bit at the question. She wasn't expecting that, they'd been lying in a comfortable silence for so long she had begun to think she was only dreaming. But hearing her voice, finding herself still wrapped up in her warm embrace, Brittany knew that it was all real.
"What are you talking about, nothing's wrong."
"Brittany, you were walking around a park, at one in the morning, by yourself, something's clearly wrong" Santana told her.
Even though Brittany couldn't see her she could tell that Santana had her eyebrow raised in that try-to-prove-me-wrong manner of hers.
"I wasn't the only one" Brittany mumbled, trying to give Santana the same look back. Santana just let out a small chuckle before answering.
"It's me Brittany; I'm always walking around in the dark. Now spill."
"Okay so maybe I just needed to clear my head a little" Brittany answered with a shrug.
"Why? Is there something wrong between James and you?" she asked, her voice sounding concerned.
"No, no, it's nothing like that. James has been wonderful. Perfect, actually."
"Then what is it?"
"It's you Santana, I had to clear my head of you" Brittany breathed out and at that moment she was thankful for their position, she didn't think she could handle the look on her face right now. "It's been seven long years, Santana. I hadn't seen you in seven years, and never expected too, but then all of a sudden you're here and I'm talking to you and everything got too much all I could do was run away.
"But then you being the perfect angel that you are had to come out and find me, and then you took my hand and danced with me and it was like everything just fell into place." Brittany told her, her words coming out fast and quick, it was like she had to say them all now otherwise she never would.
Brittany leaned forward and turned to face Santana. Her heart broke just that little bit more when she saw the sadness in Santana's eyes as she remembered that night too.
"We almost kissed, Santana. At my own engagement party, with my fiancé just inside. I didn't want to have to say that to you, but I knew I had no choice. I didn't want you to leave Santana, not really." Brittany's eyes locked onto Santana's big brown orbs and for a second it was only them.
Brittany could just stare into those eyes forever. Oh how she had missed her.
"I know that Brittany. And I'm sorry, I'm truly sorry. I never planned on that, I swear" Santana apologised, her eyes showing just how much she meant it.
Brittany just nodded back, she knew that. Brittany was sorry too. Santana gave her a small half smile and she knew that Santana saw how sorry she was too.
Brittany just guessed that maybe that's what happens when you fall for someone at such a young age. You end up doing things that you really don't mean too because you find you just can't help it. It just happens. Just like Santana and her, they just happened. Brittany let out a sigh before leaning front wards onto Santana.
Once she got comfortable, with her head resting on Santana's chest and Santana's arms still wrapped around her waist, Brittany lifted her head a bit to place her hands underneath and nuzzled closer into Santana's neck when she put her head back down.
Santana let out a small chuckle at that, whilst telling her that 'it tickled' making Brittany do it again playfully. Once they went back to their comfortable silence they both let out a contented sigh. Brittany was home.
Everything was peaceful until Brittany heard Santana's husky voice fill the night sky.
# Look at the stars
Look how they shine for you
And everything you do
Yeah, they were all yellow
Brittany let out a small gasp, her voice was so gentle, so soothing. It was almost like she was trying to be her own personal lullaby. As soon as she heard the first few words Brittany's eyes snapped open, she titled her head up slightly and was met with Santana's face. Her smile, her eyes, they were all shining down at her, the moonlight making them shine just that little bit more. Brittany felt like she was staring at the sun, her face was so faultless, it was blinding her. She was perfect.
I came along
I wrote a song for you
And all the things you do
And it was called 'yellow'
Brittany's eyes fell onto Santana's and once they did, she never wanted to look away. She could feel everything that she knew she wanted to say in words through her eyes and Brittany was blown away by it all. Santana's hand came up, slowly, and caressed her hair, she could feel every touch, every stroke. Brittany's eyes started to flutter closed; she was in heaven with her beautiful guardian angel.
So then I took my time
Oh what a thing to have done
And it was all yellow
Santana slowly moved her hand down to her cheek, her thumbs rubbing them up and down, so softly. It was almost like she was afraid of breaking her.
Did she really look that fragile?
But Brittany didn't get a chance to think on that for Santana's hand started to make its way down her neck, past her shoulder and arm to her hand which was resting on her chest. Santana un-tucked it from under her pale face and brought her hand up to her plush lips.
She gave it a gentle kiss and Brittany could feel the butterflies in her stomach come flying out of her. Being trapped in her belly was getting too much for them and before she knew it they were fluttering away, into the pitch black sky.
Your skin, oh yeah, your skin and bones
Turn in to something beautiful
Then Santana began to move them forwards. Brittany took this as a sign to get up so she turned around to her first position and started to get up. Santana following afterwards. As soon as they were both standing, Brittany instantly turned to face the Latina and found her beaming back brightly. Reaching all the way to her eyes. Brittany wasn't sure why at first until she looked over her shoulder to where Santana was facing and saw that she was looking at their swing. There were two of them, both with simple black, plastic seats and if it wasn't for the metal handles on the sides Brittany was sure that she wouldn't have been able to see them at all. But she did, and as soon as she did she just had to smile too.
She immediately turned around to face Santana and was met with her shining bright eyes, twinkling away in the moonlight. She tilted her head to the side and when Santana nodded her head she knew that she got the gesture. They both looked at each other with smiling faces and sparkling eyes before making a brake for it.
They ran towards their swing, the one on the right and Brittany stretched out her hands in front of her, waving them around as she tried to find the seat. She could hear Santana's laughter in the background, and she realised how silly she must look from her point of view and cracked up laughing too.
Once she found the seat she held onto the metal handle and reached out for Santana. She caught hold of her wrist and dragged her forward making her sit down on the seat. When she did Brittany got a strange sense of déjà vu and realised that she had been in this position before. Santana seemed to notice it too as suddenly all laughter stopped and they went back to their comfortable silence.
D'you know? You know I love you so
You know I love you so
Brittany was speechless, she just couldn't look away. The way Santana was singing the words; she knew that she was speaking them from the heart. The way she was staring at her, her eyes bright and slightly glazing over, told Brittany more than words ever could.
And right then all Brittany wanted to do was lean in and feel her soft lips on hers again, repeating exactly what they did when they were thirteen. With the stars shining brightly in the sky, this night was perfect, just like it was then too.
I swam across
I jumped across for you
Oh what a thing to do
Cause you were all yellow
When Brittany made a move to lean in, not being able to take it anymore, she heard Santana take a sharp breath in before leaning back. She began to sing again and got up off the seat before running straight past Brittany, giggling as she did so. Brittany giggled back before turning around and following her lead. Santana stretched out past the fence and pointed out to the river, in the distance, making Brittany giggle more.
I drew a line
I drew a line for you
Oh what a thing to do
And it was all yellow
She turned around and came face to face with Brittany, their eyes locked onto each others all over again. Brittany gently placed her right hand on Santana's waist before moving her left towards Santana's. She knew that Santana got what she wanted to do as she saw her smile warmly back at her as she slowly took her hand and lifted it up to their shoulder length.
Your skin, oh yeah, your skin and bones
Turn in to something beautiful
D'you know? For you I'd bleed myself dry
For you I'd bleed myself dry
Brittany didn't know who started it, but soon they were rocking slowly side to side. Santana stopping to make her spin under their arm every now and then and suddenly it was like magic. They gracefully danced underneath the stars in the pitch black night. Brittany could faintly hear Santana's voice get choked up near the end, but when she saw her eyes begin to water, she knew.
It's true
Look how they shine for you
Look how they shine for you
Look how they shine for
Brittany couldn't keep her eyes away from the chocolate brown ones in front of her. It felt like time had stilled itself, and as they moved side to side, so close they were breathing each others air, it felt like the stars were floating around them. And Brittany's eyes began to water too.
Look how they shine for you
Look how they shine for you
Look how they shine
Brittany slowly moved closer, when their noses began to bump each others she gave a playful rub before resting her forehead on the Latina's in front of her. She felt Santana's warm breath hit her ear with each word that left her mouth.
She could feel her eyes begin to flutter shut, she was trying not to fall asleep, but she found it hard. Santana was like a peaceful lullaby, her voice so soothing, their dance so soft and gentle. They weren't spinning anymore, just slowly moving from side to side.
Look at the stars
Look how they shine for you
And all the things you do
Brittany's eyes fluttered open when she felt a smooth nudge on her cheek. From the corner of her eyes she could see Santana's nose on her cheek, the sight made her smile. She could see Santana lean back and look up at the sky, Brittany doing the same also. The stars were shining brighter than she ever remembered them shining before. Brittany didn't know whether it was because her night ended up so perfect, with her by her side, or because they were shining just for her.
When the song came to an end Santana leaned back in and rested her head on Brittany's shoulder, keeping them dancing a bit more by humming the tune quietly so only the two of them could hear.
This night was more than Brittany could ever imagine, and if she wasn't sure about it before than she definitely knew now.
Brittany loved Santana Lopez.
How much she didn't know, she didn't want to think about that either because she knew one thing was for sure.
She loved him too.
So with that in mind Brittany moved her head from Santana's ear to her cheek. Her lips were so close they just about grazed the hairs on her flawless skin. She heard Santana take a sharp intake of breath. She felt her heart beating rapidly in her chest. And then she leaned away. Santana's humming finally coming to a stop as she began to lead them back to their slide.
When they got there Brittany led them to the same position as before except she was the one behind Santana this time. As much as she enjoyed being wrapped up in her arms, Brittany had longed for the day that she would be able to hold Santana in her arms again.
She had dreamt of this moment so many times she had lost count, but she never could have expected it to be as perfect as this. With Santana's head resting calmly on her chest, her head turned to the side so Brittany could see the way they fluttered closed, her hands crossed over her chest so that they were holding each of Brittany's own, Brittany's mind was finally cleared of all thoughts and she was finally at peace.
"Hey Santana."
All she got was a silent 'Yeah?' in reply so she knew that she hadn't fallen asleep just yet.
"I… I really have missed you" Brittany muttered out.
She could hear Santana's breathe hitch, and she felt her hand squeeze tightly on her own. Just from that alone Brittany knew that Santana was giving her a smile in return. She was right too as Santana quietly replied.
"Me too, Brittany, me too."
They were both silent for a beat.
"And Brittany?" she asked her that time.
"Yeah Santana."
"I-I'd really like it if we could be friends, again… but only if you want too." Brittany could hear the fear in her voice, like she was truly afraid of her answer. But Brittany knew there was no need for her to be, not when she already knew what her answer would be.
"It's okay Santana, you don't need to worry. I'd really like for us to be friends too," she agreed, smiling lovingly down at Santana.
She had finally got her back, after seven whole years of nothing; she was back in her arms once more. There was no way Brittany was going to turn down the chance to see her even more, even if it meant just being friends. She could feel Santana nod her head before giving out a small sigh, which almost sounded like relief. Brittany just held her tighter in her arms. Not wanting her to ever let go.
"The stars are so beautiful San," Brittany half whispered out.
"Yeah, they really are," she nodded in agreement. "Brittany, one day I'm gonna name a star after you."
And just when she thought she couldn't ever get more perfect… Brittany had no words to say. She was completely and utterly speechless. Brittany began to relax when Santana started to hum again and she gave a small chuckle.
"As long as it's the one closest to the sun," Brittany told her, half-heartedly, before continuing "and then you can call it 'Yellow'."
She knew that she had shocked her with that when Santana became speechless too. And when she turned her head to face her and she saw the intensity behind her stare it took everything inside of Brittany to not lean forward and kiss her, just because. So instead she turned her face up and just stared out at the dark sky above, counting out the stars, that she thought were the closest to the sun, in her head.
"And then that's really it," Brittany ended.
Again she had forgotten that she was even telling a story, getting too caught up in the memory, so how much she ended up saying to Quinn she didn't know. But when she saw the look on her face she knew that it was probably more than she was meant to.
Quinn was looking at her as if she had just told her the most romantic story ever told, whilst kicking her in the shin a few times too. Her face was a mixture of happy and sad, with a bit of hurt thrown in too. Why she would be hurt Brittany didn't know. She just thought that maybe Quinn was feeling hurt for her; because Lord only knows how much hurt she was going through right now.
That was one of the many reasons why she had come here in the first place. She went to go for a midnight stroll yesterday only to end up confusing her mind even more. She was meant to get Santana out of her mind, now she was the only thing she could think about. It was becoming so bad that she had even expected to see her face when she woke up this morning, and was disappointed to find herself next to James instead.
But now it seemed all Brittany could do was let out a sigh, hand Quinn a Kleenex tissue before being enveloped into a hug. It was then, and only then, that Brittany finally let her tears fall, the ones that weren't out of happiness or confusion. The ones that she had been trying to hold in for so long. They were the tears of emptiness, as she finally let herself weep about everything, about her, about Santana. All Quinn could do was hold her, as she was reminded of the Brittany that she hadn't seen since they were seventeen.
A/N: So what do you think, worth carrying on, because I'd be more than happy too. Review, PM, Alert, do the whole she-bang whatever works for you, as long as I get to hear what you think, I'm happy. :)