A/N Thanks to everyone who wrote such awesome reviews :,) It seems like we're all on the same page (HAH) re: me bullshitting this plot as I go along and I'm actually very happy/relieved the slowness of the burn has not forced any pre-mature rage quits :P I think I mentioned this before but in this fic verse Fili was born in Erebor and lived there for like a month or two before Smaug, which now that I think about it is most def not canonically correct but fuck it we're trench deep in this bitch now so no turning back. Hope you enjoy! :)

They set off early the next day as the sun was rising across the side of the Lonely Mountain. Despite the stillness of the autumn air, Bilbo thought he could feel an almost tangible buzzing in his ears. 'Excitement' he thought to himself as the hobbit looked the other members of the company, 'excitement to go home.'

Thorin had told them they would be at Erebor by nightfall. They would be at Erebor today. Bilbo Baggins could hardly believe it, could hardly even comprehend that they had even made it this far. Wrapping the wooden figures Bifur had given him last night gently into his blanket and placing them next to old book from Elrond's library in his pack, Bilbo felt oddly surreal.

He, a hobbit of the shire, resident of Hobbiton, and the current Baggins of Bag End was farther east than anyone he'd ever known had gone. He'd journeyed across mountains, through forests, and faced countless dangers. Bilbo had fought orcs, golbins, and spiders. He'd almost been starved, stabbed, and beaten to death. And yet, despite all that, the hobbit had seen the most fantastic things, more than he could have possibly imagined. He'd met dwarves, elves, and men, from the highest royalty to the lowest beggars.

And he was here. Bilbo was still alive and as he gazed at the pink sky, still and magnificently beautiful, he could scarcely believe it. Thorin and Dwalin led them down the road beside the river. Their leader's head was head held high and his face stoic, but the hobbit could still see there was something stirring right beneath his friend's skin. Even Kili, who had been about as far east as Bilbo, was growing fidgety with excitement.

"Say, uncle," Kili began again for what was probably the twentieth time this morning, "will we be able to get in? Just like that?"

Thorin's eye twitched as Fili and Bilbo tried to muffle their laughter at their leader's expression.

"I do not know yet, Kili," Thorin grumbled with a sigh at being faced with yet another question.

"But there's a door, right? Fili said there would be a door because Master Gandalf gave you that key. There wouldn't be a key and no door, right uncle?"

Thorin slapped his hand to his face in exasperation as Fili chuckled and decided to take mercy on the two older dwarves. "Kili, why don't you come back here and talk to us, hm? Let Uncle and Master Dwalin have a moment of silence."

Kili glared back at his brother, "I only wanted to be prepared! How am I supposed to know what to expect if I've never been there?"

Fili stuck out a hand and grabbed the collar of his brother's coat and pulled him back until he was between Bilbo and himself. "We're not just going to run in, swords raised, brother," the blond dwarf said with a laugh, "there'll be time enough for you to explore."

Kili frowned as he crossed his arms with a huff, "I know that, I just…" the younger dwarf's words halted as he looked up at his uncle who was now quietly speaking with Dwalin, "I don't want to let anyone down."

Fili glanced between his brother and where their uncle walked in front of them, a small smile on his face, "You won't let anyone down, Kili."

Sighing as his shoulders slumped, Kili seemed to deflate a little. "I… just feel like this is the biggest moment of our lives, you know? Like we're supposed to be coming home, but I… I don't even know this place."

The younger dwarf glanced over at his brother, "You were born here at least, I've only heard stories..."

Fili slung his arm around Kili's shoulders, "I was here for a few moons at the most, brother, I know it as well as you do. Besides," he shoved the dark-haired dwarf playfully, "Master Baggins hasn't been here at all either!"

Bilbo nodded with a fake solemnity, "It is true, Mister Kili, not even once."

Kili smiled at them for a moment before sinking back into his melancholy. "How am I supposed to help you rule if I don't even know what the kingdom looks like…"

Fili grew silent as he considered his brother. Bilbo glanced over at the dwarves and couldn't help but feel that the worries plaguing Kili were also nagging at Fili's mind, though the blond dwarf seemed to disguise his concerns with rather more skill.

Bilbo contemplated his friends for a silent moment. He had… well, of course he had no idea what they were truly feeling. The most he had inherited was a fine hobbit hole in the Shire and an inherent propensity for breaking ingrained hobbit attitudes regarding adventure. Bilbo was no prince. Nor was he a prince without a kingdom. Thorin at least had lived in Erebor, had been trained to rule Erebor… But his nephews… Fili and Kili were princes. They were princes of Erebor and yet they had seen no more of their supposed home than the hobbit had.

Bilbo thought of Fili, easy going Fili who always had a smile on his face and advice on his tongue. He thought of the young dwarf who thought his uncle saw his sister's dead husband in his face; a reminder of yet another failure. He thought of Thorin who spoke of Frerin and how he was still alive in the blond dwarf's kind face; how his love of adventure and the care for his family defined him. Bilbo couldn't even begin to imagine the burden of responsibility that lay on Fili's shoulders.

From what Thorin had told him while locked in the cells of Mirkwood, Bilbo knew his friend had every confidence in Fili's ability to look after the throne, but he didn't want his nephew to wither under the responsibility. Now that the hobbit thought on this, it seemed to him the reason Fili thought Thorin loved his brother more was because his uncle was trying to prepare him for a hard future. Not necessarily hard because of trials or difficult times, but because of Fili's nature, because of Thorin's fear that his nephew would be trapped in the responsibility of ruling from a throne. And because of that fear, Bilbo thought with sadness, he could only think that Fili had always been given the responsibility of an adult and treated as such by Thorin, in the way Kili wanted to be treated so badly.

Kili would likely never be king unless something happened to his brother and so Thorin was easier on him, more lenient towards his younger nephew's impulsiveness. He had heard it from Thorin himself, that he still viewed Kili as young and naive to the world. Ready and eager to prove himself when all his uncle and brother wanted for him was to stay carefree and happy, away from the uncertainty and hardships that responsibility forced on them.

Bilbo glanced at Fili's face and in it he saw nothing of the worries that ever lingered in his thoughts. And he knew, Bilbo Baggins knew Fili would not have it any other way. His friend would always rather take the brunt of every burden, of every hurt and every worry rather than let his brother's smile falter even for a moment because Kili was the one who made Fili smile, who made Fili laugh and love as openly as he did despite the burdens of Durin's line.

Bilbo felt his heart swell with affection as he thought of the two brothers. It must be hard for them, he pondered, to have lived under the shadow of such a great mountain they couldn't even see, and yet… the hobbit knew that if they had each other, if Fili had Kili, and Kili had Fili, there was nothing they wouldn't be able to pull through together.

"I –" The hobbit began as he looked turned his face to look at the dwarves, "I, uh, don't think you should worry too much, either of you." Fili and Kili glanced over at him quickly, the younger dwarf's face looked hopeful while his older brother's was curious. "The Erebor that Thorin and all the other dwarves who lived here before is… well, it's gone."

Their faces fell and spurred Bilbo into hurriedly trying to clarify his words.

"What I meant was that it doesn't matter if you haven't been there before because the Erebor that Thorin will rebuild, the Erebor that you both will rebuild, is going to be different. It will be better." Bilbo smiled at his friends with warmth. "It will be your home because you will help put every stone in place, because you will be the ones to shape it how you want, because your family will be here, not just because your ancestors walked the same halls."

"Thorin and you both will rule with love and skill not because your name means you should. It will be because of the time and care you put in to making it the home your people deserve." Fili and Kili looked back at him with strange expressions on their faces, "I don't think it will be easy, my friends, but no good king was loved just because their predecessors were. They are adored because they love their people and their home and put every ounce of themselves into making life better."

Bilbo looked up at Thorin's back with a small smile, "I know no one cares for your people more than your family." The hobbit glanced over to Fili and Kili again, "So don't fret over it too much, Kili. I know both of you and Thorin will be everything your people deserve."

Kili's face broke into a wide grin as Fili smiled at him with a small amount of wonder. "Thank you, Master Boggins, sometimes I get so caught up in thinking about the future it seems like some daunting quest I'd never be able to complete."

Bilbo nodded with wink, feeling hopeful that at least they weren't so anxious anymore, "Someone has to keep you Durins from wallowing in despair."

Fili's gaze grew serious, "You do a very good job of it, Master Baggins." The young dwarf glanced over at his uncle, "I honestly don't know where we'd be without you here."

Bilbo felt his eyes widen a bit at the sudden sincerity from his friend, "I, uh… I'm sure you'd all be just fine."

Fili smiled at him like the hobbit had answered exactly how he thought he would, "We wouldn't, Master Baggins. We would be lost."

The hobbit flushed to his ears and he scratched the back of his head with nervous embarrassment, "You've all got, uh, plenty of maps, I'm sure you'd be alright."

The blond dwarf rolled his eyes as Kili chuckled, "Just take the compliment, Master Baggins. We wouldn't say it if we didn't mean it." Kili nodded in agreement, "He's right, Master Boggins, it's true."

Bilbo looked up to see Thorin had glanced over his shoulder. They held eye contact for a moment as the hobbit smiled brightly at his friend until the dwarf shook his head lightly and turned back to Dwalin who was still talking to him. Bilbo turned his head to face the brothers only to catch Kili swiftly elbowing his brother. Raising a brow, the hobbit looked at them questioningly.

"You two aren't fighting already, are you?"

"No, nope! Not us! Never Kili and I!" Fili smiled through gritted teeth as he glared at his brother.

The younger dwarf flushed red, but managed to fake a look of indignation, "What, us? Fight? It's like you've never even met us sometimes, Master Boggins…"

Bilbo rolled his eyes, he knew something unmentioned had passed between the two dwarves but they could pretend all they wanted, it didn't bother him, probably just some little joke he'd missed anyway.

They continued to chat amiably as the road wound along side the river and the sun grew higher and higher in the sky. It was late afternoon as the company approached the foothills of the Lonely Mountain. The talk that had been flowing though the company grew steadily more silent.

The once green grass of the path and trees that had scattered alongside their trail grew into a bleak and barren sort of earth. Greens faded into charred blacks and greys. Bilbo could see the where the dragon's fire had burned the earth and stone. How the blazing heat had cut angry swathes into the land, leaving nothing but death and destruction where no plants dared to reclaim.

Glancing up, Bilbo saw that Thorin's face had hardened as he pushed forward towards the mountain. The hobbit made a quick decision and sped up until he was walking next to Thorin on the side that Dwalin didn't occupy. Bilbo didn't say anything but walked close enough so his shoulder brushed Thorin's arm. He didn't know if his presence would help any, but he felt even stronger in his mind that if there were any time his friend would need comfort this day, it was right now.

Thorin looked down at the hobbit as he felt Bilbo slide into step next to him. The dwarf didn't smile but Bilbo could have sworn the furrow of his friend's brow lessened somewhat as the hobbit gave Thorin's arm a brief squeeze. Bilbo saw Dwalin glance over and one scarred eyebrow rose slightly but the burly dwarf simply shrugged slightly at the hobbit's presence and pressed forward in silence.

They approached what appeared to be the wreckage of a town. A town that was once beautiful and flourishing but was now a dusty shadow of ruined life. The once intricately carved gate was now half fallen down in a pile of rubble. Even the stones were not immune to the dragon fire. They looked to be… melted almost. Like where the flames had met with the rock, they ran down one another if only to flee the heat.

"Is this…" Bilbo trailed off as they entered into the ruin, carefully avoiding the rocks strewn about the ground.

"Dale," Thorin said sharply, his jaw locked and face set. The hobbit could see that this was not the time to ask questions. Their leader walked faster so he was at least a few yards in front of the rest of the company and the hobbit was now next to Dwalin.

Bilbo felt his eyes widen as he looked around at the sheer destruction. If Dale was this bad then… he didn't want to think about what awaited them within Erebor.

"Will he be… alright?" Bilbo asked Dwalin quietly, his gazed now locked onto Thorin's back. The dwarf beside him crossed his arms but remained silent for a few moments.

"Aye, laddie," Dwalin sighed gruffly, "he's gonna have to be. This is nothing compared to what's watin' for us inside."

Feeling his stomach clench with worry, Bilbo almost didn't see the shattered buildings on either side of him because his thoughts and eyes were still fixed on Thorin, on what he could do to help his friend prepare for whatever was inside Erebor.

Suddenly he thought of Legolas' words before they had escaped: 'A dragon is not the only enemy to Thorin Oakenshield that resides there.'

He still wasn't quite sure what the elf had meant but he also couldn't help but feel that the dragon wasn't quite so important anymore. That the sight of all the death and memories might be more lethal to Thorin than the razor sharp claws of some beast. And that thought frightened him more than anything.

Dale wasn't quite so large as Lake Town but it was, or rather had been as far as Bilbo could tell, tall. There were towers and parapets half gone but he could imagine the height they might have one reached. Flags that could have been brightly colored littered the streets, their burnt remains covering wagons, rubble, and… the hobbit shuddered as he tried not to look any closer at what appeared to be some sort of burnt skeletal arm sticking out from under it.

They made their way as quickly through the main street as they could, weaving around piles of rocks and other… things. The company was deathly silent; no one seemed to be able to find words appropriate for what they were seeing. Bilbo could only think that what awaited them at the end of this road, now that it was here and in sight, weighed down on them with the oppressive and suffocating strength of loss.

By the time they reached the other side of Dale, the sun was setting and bathing the ruins and Lonely Mountain in a blood red glow, the red of fire, the red of dragons. But now was not the time for fear, Bilbo scolded himself even though he couldn't stop the small gulp he took, he had to be strong for his friends, for Thorin. No matter what happened tomorrow, they still had to yet to get in today.

Their leader called the company to a halt at the base of the mountain. The great doors of Erebor now towered in front of them at the end of the path. Green and intricately carved but right at the seam where the two stones met, there rock turned black and melted. Six great lashes where the dragon's claws must have raked against the rock framed the burn mark as if the beast had marked his victory, his prize.

For some reason, Bilbo had thought that maybe the doors would have been… open? He had thought perhaps the dragon might have torn them away but, he supposed, then they wouldn't have needed a key. Though he was rather hoping the secret door had been some sort of back up plan just in case. The two great armored dwarves that framed the doors were half torn in two. One's head was ripped clean from its stone body and the other was missing it's top half entirely. Whatever could do this, well… It made his heart beat faster just thinking about it.

"So… do we just… go in?" Kili asked quietly from beside his brother, eyes wide with equal parts wonder and trepidation.

Thorin shook his head, "No. If the dragon is still there it would be far too dangerous. We must find the door from Thror's map."

Balin walked over to stand next to Thorin, "Durin's Day approaches, wherever it is, we must find it quickly, lads."

Their leader slung off his pack and removed the map from inside, "Elrond said the door will be on the west side, we will spread out and begin our search tonight." Thorin looked up at the gathered company with no small measure of determination on his face. "We do not know what this door looks like but we must find it if our quest is to continue. I have every confidence," he stood tall, shoulders back, "that we will, but it must be done with haste."

Each of the company nodded in agreement before starting to split off into smaller groups. Thorin and Dwalin headed out first to scout alongside the mountain. Normally Bilbo would have gone with Fili and Kili, but seeing as how they needed to cover as much ground as possible, they had divided into groups of two. Bilbo Baggins found himself walking alongside Balin towards one of the higher paths that led to one of several ridges that, according to the older dwarf, wrapped almost all the way around the mountain.

The path started next to one of the giant ruined statues that guarded either side of Erebor's main entrance. It was, mercifully, fairly free of rubble which made the ascent onto the path much easier than Bilbo had anticipated.

"Keep up, laddie," Balin called to him as the hobbit stopped to look back at the sight of the mountain. Bilbo glanced at this companion quickly and started after him, not wanting the dwarf to leave him behind.

Balin was one of the few of the company that had spoken to him from the beginning of their journey, despite any reservations the dwarf had about Bilbo. The hobbit had thought him kind and wise but also… There was something about the old dwarf that was distant, separate when he spoke to Bilbo. He knew Balin to be a dwarf of great learning and experience as well as a consummate warrior, someone who Bilbo couldn't help but respect.

And yet there always seemed to be something guarded in Balin's smile when he and the hobbit had spoken of tales or he had answered some of Bilbo's earlier questions about their journey. It hit him suddenly as they started to walk up the path, that he had spoken more in depth to Dwalin than he had to Balin. Bilbo almost laughed at the absurdity that the one brother to share his past was the one who has seemed to dislike him only second to Thorin in the beginning.

'Ah well,' he thought with bemusement, 'so it goes…'

Balin was… well, he had seen things. More than Bilbo could ever hope to in his life. And, as he looked at the dwarf's wizened face covered half by his large, white beard, more than the hobbit thought he ever wanted to see. Only someone who had seen death had that look in their eyes. Not just one death, but scores of loved ones and friends lost.

"So…" Bilbo began hesitantly, not wanting to distract Balin, "What, uh, exactly are we looking for?"

The dwarf looked over his shoulder with a small smile, "A pertinent question, laddie, but one I'm afraid I don't have the answer to."

The hobbit felt his stomach sink a bit in disappointment. They had no idea where the door was and no idea what the door even looked like. This would be… difficult. To say the least.

They continued down the path for a while in silence, both concentrating on every detail. Bilbo felt his face begin to ache as his brows had been furrowed in concentration for what felt like several hours. He had practically been walking sideways to get the best view of the rock face possible and yet he had seen nothing. Nothing but a bunch of rock and the occasional plant brave enough to grow there.

Not even the slightest hint of something, anything that looked like it had been or could be a door. Frustration was beginning to lace his every nerve as his eyes ached.

"Blasted dwarves," Bilbo hissed through clenched teeth, "keep everything secret, they said. Make sure no one ever can find it, they said. Well, good bloody job." He had been about to aim a probably harder than wise kick at the Lonely Mountain in a show of defiance when he heard Balin chuckle from beside him.

Bilbo glanced up startled; he had almost completely forgotten the dwarf 's presence there.

"Aye, sometimes it does feel a bit foolish, keeping everything hidden, even from ourselves," Balin spoke softly as he turned to face the ledge.

The sun was all but set and they could hardly see anything anymore, which made the task, in Bilbo's most humble opinion, just about pointless. The dwarf stretched his back slightly before sitting down with more grace than anyone his age should have been able to and dangled his legs off the edge.

Bilbo glanced between Balin and the edge of the path. Since they had been walking for so long, there was now a very steep and altogether very dangerous looking drop between the path and the forest below. The dwarf looked over his shoulder with a raised brow and patted a spot on the rock next to him, "Well? You just going to stand there looking like a frightened little rabbit or will you sit down." The hobbit couldn't help but flush at being compared to a rabbit of all things before forcing his legs to move closer to the ledge.

Bilbo sat down next to the dwarf but refused to put his legs over, preferring to cross them instead. He had had enough unfortunate incidents with ledges on this journey and he was most certainly not going to tempt fate. Balin chuckled at his companion before reaching into what seemed like the very beard itself before pulling out a fine leather drinking skin. Popping off the cork, the old dwarf took a swig before passing it over to Bilbo.

The hobbit eyed it suspiciously; remember the fiery discomfort of the drink Dwalin had given him.

"It's only wine, laddie," Balin said with an exasperated sigh, "some of the Master's finest I'm told."

Bilbo took the skin gently and raised it to his lips then took a drink. It was… good. Surprisingly light and fruity and instantly made him feel slightly warmer despite the autumn winds that danced around them.

"Thank you," the hobbit said with a smile as he passed it back.

Balin nodded and took another drink, gazing out at the forest that lay on Erebor's doorstep. They were silent for a while, passing the wine between them and taking in the sight. Bilbo felt his limbs loosening and the frustration with their search start to leave him, they would just have to try again tomorrow he supposed. Balin seemed deep in thought and the hobbit couldn't blame him.

"It must be… strange to be back here after so many years…" Bilbo glanced over at his companion, to the dwarf who knew this place better than probably any of the dwarves in their company.

"Aye… it is good, laddie. But…" the dwarf's words halted before he sighed, "I cannot shake the shadow of fear. Something about this mountain fills me with unease."

Bilbo's eyes widened as he considered Balin. He had never heard any of the company really express doubts on their journey. Well, doubts unrelated to his competency at least.

"Is it the dragon? Because I think that's a fairly good reason to be uneasy," the hobbit looked down towards the now distant green stone doors, the black mark of Smaug visible from even here.

Balin let out a small chuckle, "The dragon does worry me, yes, but I do not think the beast's presence is the only cause."

The hobbit looked back at this companion curiously but didn't push any further.

"I fear…" Balin looked off into the distance towards nothing at all, "this quest may not have been wise."

The hobbit wasn't shocked to hear this, but he would not lie and say he didn't feel surprised. Balin was one of Thorin's most trusted advisers, probably the wisest dwarf in their company and most certainly one of the most loyal to their leader. Bilbo remembered the night near the beginning of their journey when the old dwarf had told him of the battle of Moria, remembered the reverence with which he spoke of Thorin.

"Do you… Do you think we'll fail?" Bilbo asked quietly, almost not wanting to hear the answer.

Balin sighed and took another swig of wine, "I do not know, laddie. Thorin had planned to bring an army here. An entire army of ready swords and maces to take back the mountain from Smaug and yet here we are," the dwarf passed the skin over, "a company of fourteen attempting the same task that even the warriors of Erebor in their prime failed at."

The hobbit couldn't help but gulp with sudden nervousness.

"I have seen much death in my lifetime, laddie," Balin said with such exhaustion it made his heart clench, "I have no wish to see any more. I would not want any of this company to shed blood for…" The dwarf halted once again, he seemed to not want to speak ill of their journey but as he looked over at Bilbo, Balin gave him a sad smile, "I would not want any of these dwarves to die for a kingdom long lost. Not after all Thorin worked to earn back for us in the Blue Mountains."

"Don't you –" Bilbo started with a slight trepidation, not wanting to pry, "don't you want to get your home back?"

Balin leaned back onto his hands and looked up towards the night sky, "I have lived many years, Master Hobbit, and Mahal willing I will live a few more." The dwarf's eyes looked as distant to Bilbo as he knew Balin's thoughts to be, "One does not reach my age without realizing that home is not dug deep into the rock of a mountain."

It was unsettling for Bilbo to hear such an vastly different opinion from Thorin in one of the dwarves who had known their leader the longest, from the dwarf that had lived in Erebor the longest.

"Then, uh, where is your home, Mister Balin? The Blue Mountains?"

The dwarf looked over at him, the sad smile once more in place, "I have found, laddie, that my home is wherever I can find purpose. Nothing gets these old bones out of bed quite like having reason to move them."

"Why did you go on the quest then? I mean –" Bilbo added quickly, hoping not to offend the dwarf, "if you think it will end with us all dying or that we won't succeed, then it seems… just…" he trailed off, having the distinct and rather unpleasant feeling that he'd just put his foot deeply and firmly into his own mouth.

"I have served Thorin's family for a great deal of my life, laddie, I know that boy better than most," Balin shifted so his arms rested on his cloth-clad legs, "I have fought beside him and given him my council, whatever good that has been." The dwarf chuckled lightly, "Never met any dwarf more stubborn than he. Well… maybe that sister of his but she's a class all of her own," Balin's face grew serious. "Thorin needs to do this, laddie, I think you know that well enough," the dwarf glanced over at his companion for a few moments before sitting up straight.

"I've never met a dwarf more a king than Thorin. Not even his grandfather could achieve half of what that lad did for our people after Erebor fell." Bilbo's eyes were drawn to the small fire he saw near the base of the mountain where the rest of the company must have set up camp, where Thorin was right now. "I… owe him my life, Dwalin owes him his life. Every dwarf who now lives in peace and prosperity in the Blue Mountains owe their lives to him. I have found no greater purpose, no higher honor in life than serving Thorin Oakenshield, laddie."

"If this is what my king needs, then I would gladly die to help him," Balin drank from the skin again, "He has given up everything, every personal gain, every happiness he could have found. Thorin has given everything for our people."

Bilbo nodded, feeling like he at least somewhat understood the dwarf, "So when he asked you to join him…"

Balin smiled at his companion, "Aye, laddie. When he asked me to join him, when he asked me for this one thing, the only thing he needed, of course I had to come even if I had doubts."

Bilbo couldn't help but smile back, seeing the great respect and love Balin had for their leader, for his king. "He… I think Thorin values you and your brother's friendship above all others, Mister Balin. I know he doesn't take either of you for granted, not even for a second."

The dwarf chuckled at that and winked at Bilbo "As well he should, laddie, be a fool not to."

The hobbit laughed with his companion for a few moments before the dwarf spoke again. "He values your friendship too, laddie. More than you know."

Bilbo looked over at the dwarf feeling slightly surprised, "I – uh, I hope so? I certainly think of him as a friend."

Balin sighed a little, as if Bilbo hadn't fully appreciated the weight of his words. "Thorin… Thorin does not easily trust, laddie. His loyalty is not easily won, especially since the fall."

Bilbo glanced at Balin, his brow raised slightly, "…Surely it is not that hard, I mean I did it…"

His words seemed to inspire another laugh from the old dwarf, "No, laddie, when I say it is not easy, I mean that it is nearly impossible. I'm not sure he has trusted anyone outside our people since the days of Erebor, except for you that is."

The hobbit flushed slightly, "I – I, uh…" he trailed off rather lamely. Bilbo Baggins was not used to such obvious praise from anyone let alone another member of their company and he was becoming less and less certain as to how he should respond. "Thank you?"

Balin rolled his eyes, "You are quite welcome. Though if you hurt him, I wouldn't count on leaving for your Shire with all your limbs in tact." The dwarf was still smiling, though this time there was a something… else in Balin's eyes.

Bilbo felt a small wave of indignation flood through him, "I would never hurt him! Or anyone for that matter. Not, uh, not on purpose anyway."

"You won't find a dwarf more loyal than Thorin once you've won his allegiance, nor will you find one who feels the hurt of betrayal more fiercely."

Bilbo narrowed his eyes slightly, "You think I would betray him?"

Balin shook his head slightly, "Nay, I don't think you would, laddie, or I would have made sure you never joined this company. But I would caution you to be careful; Thorin has had a… difficult life. I would not see it troubled any further than it has to be."

Bilbo's face set with determination to make Balin understand, "I only want… I only want Thorin to be happy again, to live again…" The hobbit paused, not sure his words were doing his thoughts justice, "And if being my friend helps him, then that it what I will be." Bilbo stared at the old dwarf, refusing to look away, "I will help Thorin get back his home, Mister Balin, I will. Whatever it takes to make that hollowness full again, whatever he needs to be free of that burden I will see it done."

The hobbit didn't know exactly where these words were coming from, but as they poured from his mouth with righteous indignation, Bilbo Baggins knew them to be true. Thorin was now a dear friend to him; he wasn't sure which moment, which experience had moved the dwarf into being not just a new and awkwardly amiable acquaintance but one of the of the people he trusted most, trusted with his life.

But it had happened. It was happening. And as Bilbo thought of his friend, he knew how lucky he was to have somehow wormed his way under all that pain and hurt and anger. To be able to see Thorin's smile and hear Thorin's laugh. To know the dwarf's story, to be able to help those wounds long inflicted start to heal and damn it all, he would continue to be the dwarf's friend as long as Thorin wanted him to.

He had come so far from when they set out on this quest. He'd been treated as an annoyance, a nuisance, and a burden. To be fair this was mostly done by Thorin himself, but that is exactly why Bilbo valued their friendship so much now that it had changed, now that they were able to help each other. It seemed an age ago now that they had been near the High Pass and Thorin had told him to leave. He remembered very well the look of disgust on the dwarf's face, the feeling of hopeless despair, of not belonging, of being truly more scared than he had ever been in his life.

But Bilbo had stuck with this company of dwarves. He had told Thorin that he was staying, that he was going to help no matter how much the dwarf hated him or thought his presence a burden because in his heart, Bilbo knew he could. He hadn't quite known how he was going to do it then, but now the hobbit felt like nothing had ever been clearer in his entire life.

He was no burglar; he was no sneak or thief and could still barely wield his own sword. What Bilbo could do now was be a friend to Thorin. He could be the person that helped Thorin learn how to trust again, to teach him that not everything in this world had to be paid for or pledged because some king had more gold than another. He could teach Thorin that he was worth knowing, worth following, worth dying for not because he was a prince, but because he was a better and truer friend than Bilbo had ever had.

What Thorin needed from him was not his skills in battle or even his wits, though that was something Bilbo thought he might have at least, what the dwarf needed from him was hope. Hope that life could be different, that burdens could be laid down and hurts forgiven. Hope that he was worthy of these things and not just chasing after them in blind desperation.

Balin considered Bilbo for a few silent moments, "I believe you, laddie."

The hobbit nodded but knew in his heart that it wouldn't have mattered if Balin believed him; I wouldn't matter if no one believed him because Bilbo had a purpose here. A purpose that he would try with all his might to achieve.

The dwarf took one last swig of wine, tipping the skin back so the last few drops poured into his mouth, "Are all hobbits like you, laddie?"

Bilbo chuckled at the question. Sometimes he forgot how little of the Shire folk left their holes to interact with the rest of the world. "I…" he began, pondering the question, "I'm not sure, Mister Balin. I would guess more or less we all share at least a few qualities."

The old dwarf winked at him again, "Perhaps we should have recruited more of you while we were visiting Hobbiton, laddie, I'm thinking we could use a little but more of your fire in coming days."

Bilbo laughed loudly, "Fire, Mister Balin? I think we might have more than our fill if the dragon is still inside."

The dwarf joined in realizing his poor choice of words, "Aye, I suppose you're right. Won't stop me hoping you're wrong though."

They sat together in companionable silence for a good while before Balin reluctantly stretched and suggested they get back to camp since they would be having an early morning the next day. Bilbo couldn't help but feel certain affection for the old dwarf. For someone who had lived so long and seen countless things, both wonderful and terrible, to still find life and friends worth fighting for when he could easily have retired to the Blue Mountains and no one would have judged him even in the slightest… well, he knew there was a remarkable strength within Balin and the company was fortunate to have him along.