MAGNETIC ATTRACTION
Part Sixteen
Remy LeBeau was confused when he awakened after what felt like a very long sleep and deep sleep. With a yawn, he rolled his head, glancing around Rogue's bedroom, completely bewildered as to how he had ended up there. It took quite a few moments to piece together that he'd fallen asleep there, that they'd been about to go out and that he'd wanted just a few moments to lie there and rest.
His bones ached and a few seemed to crack and click as he leaned up a little to look at the young woman sleeping at his side. Rogue was still sleeping soundly, her breathing soft, her body rising beneath his arm. He realised with some surprise that his arm was being held against her stomach by both of her hands. He wondered if perhaps during his sleep he'd tried to move his hand and ended up touching somewhere quite compromising, or perhaps if she'd just simply wanted to hold his arm close to her. Either way, it was surprising to wake up this way.
With a sigh, he lay his head back upon the pillow next to hers and stared at the back of her head, examining the way her streaks had mixed together with her brown hair, making the hair seem fractured with white. A strange calm washed over him; he'd never felt so uncannily relaxed as he did right then with his arm around her.
What was it about Rogue that seemed to soothe him? He couldn't place exactly what it was, only that just being anywhere with her seemed to ease something within him that as of late, had been growing angrier and angrier, and more restless.
He wondered if anyone had walked in and seen this? He'd thought to close her door earlier, but had not locked it from the inside. Anyone could have walked in. Wanda could have walked in for all he knew.
But he doubted she would. Wanda wasn't about to set foot up here now that it was Rogue's room. It was clear she had no interest in getting to know the girl even despite the risk Rogue had taken to help her get home drunk.
Perhaps that was why he felt so safe and comfortable up here with Rogue at this moment. Perhaps that was why he'd been able to relax so much right here. Because he knew Wanda was very unlikely to come up here for any reason, and she wouldn't expect to find him in Rogue's bedroom.
She'd never look in here, she wouldn't expect me to be with Rogue...she knows I can't get anything from Rogue sexually, so why bother?
Wanda would have been furious to know that Remy felt that being close to Rogue was almost nice, despite the added element of danger from her powers. He drew her closer and let his nose brush against her hair, and breathed in the scent of her shampoo, a sigh escaping his lips. He thought of the dream where they were Romeo and Juliet and wondered if he'd stayed asleep long enough following the climax of their passion, would he have lay with her like now and held her close?
Probably not.
Laying in bed with a girl like this, close and intimate...it'd never been his style. Occasionally Wanda had lay across him after sex, but only long enough to recover her breath before kicking him out of her bed. He'd have never made a conscious effort to stay and hold her to him, to try and feel her heart beating against his, he'd have never tried to breathe in the scent of her hair or her perfume.
He couldn't even explain what had made him want to hold Rogue that way, other than he'd felt somewhat cold and tired and it'd happened almost naturally, like reaching for a teddy bear, or a pillow.
Except, Rogue wasn't really either of those things.
It surprised him that she hadn't pulled away from him either. He'd have expected her to. She was so anxious around people touching her, so afraid something might go wrong, that she usually flinched away immediately. Yet here she was, gripping onto his arm as if she were afraid he might want to let go.
He would have lay there for several hours more, comfortable, tired. But his stomach growled, and this reminded him that they had made plans to go out, and to eat. Was it still too late to do that now?
Perhaps I should just get up and leave, he thought. I can go find something to eat and we can make plans another day. He stared around her room feeling somewhat disappointed. He'd been looking forward to getting away from here, even if it was only for an hour. Anywhere that wasn't the hardware store would be a blessing right now, before the cabin fever caused him to snap out again at someone like Pietro.
"Rogue," he murmured near her ear, "Chere...we fell asleep."
"Hmm?" she mumbled too, she rolled over onto her back, still holding onto his arm.
"Chere...we fell asleep," he repeated, he gave a slight laugh at how so surprising and almost sweet it had been.
She rolled again to face him, and he had to move his head back just a little, or her nose might have brushed his. Her eyes snapped open, and her face flushed, she leaned up and looked around, confused, letting go of his arm immediately almost with an expression that seemed to say she was asking herself what she might have been thinking.
"I had just closed my eyes, I didn't think I'd sleep for..." he took his phone out of his pocket to check the time, "too many hours. Fuck."
"What time is it?" she yawned, she ran her fingers under her eyes to fix any makeup that may have smudged during the nap.
"Just coming up for three."
"Am?" she asked, turning to him and gaping.
"Yes."
"Three am?! It's three am?! She asked, "shit, I have homework! I have lines to memorise!" she gasped.
"It's okay, look...we have a couple of free hours, lets go to the diner, get some food, I'll run lines with you before you have to go to training and school," he offered.
Rogue sighed.
"Come on," he sat up, "You must be starving. I know I am."
"But..." she gestured to her clothes, which she'd slept in.
"You don't have to bother changing clothes, or put on makeup, your make up is fine. You look good, come on. Don't worry so much..."
She moved to the mirror to check herself, and she reached for her bag of books, "fine."
"I'm sorry," he said, "I didn't mean to fall asleep."
"It's not your fault," Rogue said, "it's not like made me fall asleep."
"You probably wouldn't have if I hadn't though," he tried to explain. "I haven't been sleeping well. I moved my old bed into the basement room, but it ain't that comfortable. When I get my new bedroom, gonna get a kingsized one...with memory foam," he muttered.
"What bedroom?" Rogue raised an eyebrow as she walked beside him.
Remy spoke quietly, "above the gymnasium, it's going to be turned into my room."
"Ah guess that's better than a damp basement. That can't be good for your lungs."
"Tell me about it. Every morning I wake up, I feel breathless. I saw a little mold on the wall. Want to get out of there before it starts spreadin' to my lungs," he explained casually as the two of them walked quietly out of the warehouse and pulled the car quietly out of the yard. Remy hoped no one was awake to catch them, as he didn't want to explain why he and Rogue were leaving at three am – not that it was really anyone's business either way. He just didn't want Wanda finding out that he was taking Rogue for breakfast.
Every time I mention Rogue, Wanda gets this really pissed off look on her face, Remy thought as he looked at the wing mirror to see the warehouse disappearing behind him. She's jealous...although why I don't know? I bet she probably checked my room last night, thought Remy. She probably didn't want to listen about the no sex rule and probably came looking for me.
In the car, both Remy and Rogue were quiet; Remy smoked two cigarettes on the way there while Rogue hummed along to a Black Sabbath song on the radio. It was an oddly comfortable silence that felt nowhere near as awkward as the previous car journey they had shared. It was just one more thing that he found to compare to his relationship with Wanda...that drive back to the warehouse after forcing her to take the morning after pill in the car had been horribly awkward and uncomfortable for both of them.
The diner was quiet when they arrived there at twenty-five minutes past three. It was an all night place that mostly did business to passing truckers and commuters, and they served the banana blueberry pancakes around the clock. They took the booth they'd sat in before, and they ordered.
"Ah can't believe Ah slept that long," said Rogue casually, still looking sleepy as she unzipped her backpack and searched for her Romeo & Juliet script.
"I'd say the same, except...I'm surprised I didn't sleep longer. I'm still tired," he yawned as he rubbed the corner of his eyes. "Your bed is comfortable. I slept like a baby."
"Yeah, well, don't be getting any ideas. You aren't taking my bed. It's mine now," she warned.
"Maybe I can just crash in it when you're not home."
"I'll lock the door," she responded.
"I can pick locks," he reminded with a smirk.
Of course, he had no intentions of picking any locks she put on her door, or of sleeping in her bed when she wasn't there. It was her sanctuary now, and being in there when she wasn't...it'd just feel wrong. Normally he had no problems with invading someone's space, but Rogue had very little to invade to begin with. Besides, he'd seen it all when he'd switched rooms with her. He'd seen every pair of underwear, every bra, and every pair of socks. He'd seen every single piece of her jewellery, and every book she owned. There was nothing he could learn. As far as he could tell, she didn't even own a diary or something personal to write her thoughts in (although he'd quickly checked when moving her things).
"Oh yeah," she realised. "But don't think about it. If you so much as tamper with my locks..." she trailed off.
"Don't worry, I won't go sleeping in your bed, baby bear," he smirked, "even though it's just right."
"You're not exactly goldilocks, either, you know," Rogue commented, she reached over and ruffled his hair roughly.
"No...I'm more of the big bad wolf, really," he touched his own hair thoughtfully with a vague laugh. "Although if I gave you a nice red cape, I don't doubt you'd make a hot red riding hood."
"Yeah, there's a Halloween costume Ah don't want," Rogue rolled her eyes.
"Why not? Red Riding Hood is a sexy costume."
"Yeah, but one of the subjects we were studying in college is fairy tales and the symbolism, and there's this whole thing where Red Riding Hood is supposed to be like a sort of...allegory of awakened sexuality."
"How's that so?" Remy made a face. "She's just a little girl."
"Yeah, but she's braving this scary woodland – total symbolism for adulthood so my Professor says..." Rogue shrugged.
"And the wolf?"
"Well...obviously he's a man, a threat to her sexuality. Wolf is a predator you know. Kind of makes sense."
"I see," said Remy, listening to her.
"Of course, in some versions, she gets eaten, in some tales, she doesn't...but in most of them, the wolf usually dies."
"So...what's the red cape meant to mean?" Remy asked curiously.
"A period, says my professor. She's going out and braving the world with this new red cloak, and it's bright red, so it stands out more than ever..."
"Maybe it's symbollic of a clitoris," Remy said thoughtfully after a moment.
Rogue gave a strange uncomfortable laugh, "excuse me?"
"A red hood," he pointed out.
Rogue stared across the table at him blankly.
"You know durin' arousal, it goes kinda swollen and red, right?"
Her face went scarlet.
"Rogue, you're eighteen, surely you knew that."
"Well..." she looked away, "Ah knew it."
"But it didn't even come up in class durin' the whole Red Riding Hood discussion?"
"It wasn't brought up," Rogue responded, her cheeks flushing scarlet. "Just...you know, the whole red cloak and menstruation thing."
Remy thought of Wanda, and her constantly wearing these deep, dark red colours. To him, she definitely didn't suggest the virginal young woman experiencing first menstruation. "Question," he said.
"Yeah?"
"What would your professor make of Wanda's wearing all the red PVC? Is that meant to symbolise a period?"
"Doubt it," Rogue said after a moment of contemplation. "When Ah look at Wanda and what she wears, it's clear she's...you know, peacocking...or whatever the girl equivalent is."
Remy gave the vaguest laugh, "Peacocking?"
"You know...dressing flashy to attract someone."
"I see," said Remy. "Maybe she has a thing for Lance, or Piotr," he feigned an interested tone, knowing full well that if it was true and she was doing this 'peacocking' thing, then it definitely wasn't for their benefit.
"Piotr's kind of cute, I wouldn't blame her," Rogue admitted.
"He would never go for a girl like Wanda. Piotr likes good little girls. The kind of girl you can be proud to have on your arm, you know...kind you take home to momma? He has no interest in girls of Wanda's...calibre."
"If you say so," said Rogue. "Seems to me every guy says they like the nice girl type, but end up sleeping with girls like Wanda."
"She's not so bad, Rogue. She's just fucked up. Can you blame her? You know what her daddy did to her, don't you?"
"He locked her away," said Rogue, she finally located her rolled up script at the bottom of her bag, and she began unfurling it.
"Somethin' happening like that to a girl, it's bound to have...effects," Remy realised. He wondered if perhaps he hadn't been sympathetic enough to Wanda's condition, perhaps he should have been offering her more support, been there for her more, as opposed to just letting her do as she wished until things had escalated. "Sometimes I wonder..." he made a face, suddenly uncomfortable with the thought of what had just crossed his mind.
"What?" Rogue asked.
"Just...sometimes I wonder if maybe something else happened to her while she was under the control of the guys who had her in straight jackets. She's..."
Remy thought of how Wanda liked to be roughly handled, how she liked to be driven to the limit in the bedroom, how it didn't matter how hard or fast he moved against her, she never begged him to stop. How could a girl find so much pleasure in pain without it having stemmed from somewhere? There had to be a reason for it.
"She's what?"
"Never mind," Remy shook his head, "just thinking aloud. So anyway, we should stop dicking around, you have this script thing to read...right?" he watched as she placed her script between them near the menu stand, "where do we start?"
"About here..." she gestured with one hand as she accepted her coffee from the arriving waitress with the other.
Remy cleared his throat, "If I profane with my unworthiest hand," he took his cup from the waitress and spooned sugar into it as he spoke, "this holy shrine...the gentle fine is this; my lips, two blushing pilgrims, ready stand to smooth that rough touch with a tender kiss..." he read out. He stopped to look at her, her expression was mixed. She hated even the mention of kiss. He could see it on her face.
Rogue swallowed, she licked her lips, then spoke. "Good pilgrim, you do wrong your hand too much, which mannerly devotion shows in this; for saints have hands that pilgrims do not touch. And palm to palm is holy palmers kiss..."
As she spoke the word kiss he heard the crack of her voice, and she looked down uncomfortably at the table.
"Have not saints lips, and holy palmers too?" he asked, reading from the script.
"Ay, pilgrim, lips that they must use in prayer..." she responded, without glancing towards the script.
"O, then dear saint, let lips do what hands do; They pray, grant thou, lest faith turn into despair..." he lazily read, he deliberately made his accent much thicker and unintelligible, hoping that it would lighten the moment. The talk of lips and kisses was getting to her, and he saw her shifting uncomfortably, growing tenser by the moment.
"Saints do not move, though grant for prayers' sake," she frowned at him, apparently not amused.
"Then move not, while my prayer's effect I take. Thus from my lips, by yours, my sin is purged..."
"Then have my lips the sin that they have took..."
"Jesus this is a lot of fucking crap..." Remy responded suddenly, noting that the further they spoke, the more upset she seemed to be getting. These lines were making things worse.
"Remy..." Rogue warned.
"I never studied this in school. Although to be fair...was rare I ever went to school anyway. They die in the end, right?" He picked up the script and flipped through it.
"Yes."
"That's a pretty depressing ending. Why couldn't your class have put on some happy show? With a good ending? Like...uhm...okay I don't know many musicals or plays or anything," he rolled his eyes. "Just...this...this is depressing," he waved the script with a frown.
"But in the end, they get to be together, and their death is what makes the families see that they shouldn't have been trying to keep them apart. It's a positive thing in the end for the families because they end their feud."
"It's still a shitty ending."
"How would you have ended it?" Rogue asked.
"I don't know. I'd have to read it. If I ever had time to read," he shrugged. Their food arrived and he grabbed the syrup jug and loaded his plate. "Everyone would probably live happily ever after...Romeo and Juliet would have lots...and lots...of sex...and their parents wouldn't give a fuck because it's none of their business anyway."
Rogue glanced over the script casually as she took a bite of her pancakes. "Ah really think today Ah should just speak to my professor and ask to step down."
"You haven't spoken to him about the issue with the physical contact yet?"
"No. Ah'm not sure how to go about it. Ah know he isn't really fond of us Mutants...and Ah think he'd probably find some way to get me kicked out of the class entirely."
"Just...make up something then...say you have some kind of contagious skin condition that means you can't touch anyone. You can always find a way to fake the contact somehow."
"It'd be better if Ah just let someone else take the part."
"But you're great at this role," Remy said, "not that I understand it all, really, but...I mean...you read it off really well, you're convincing. Hell, all that talk of lips and kisses got me pretty worked up."
"Yeah, sure," she smiled wanly at him.
"Oh, I promise you, totally worked up, you should feel my heart, it's goin' boom all over the place. Wanna feel?"
"Ah'll take your word for it," Rogue laughed softly as she dug her fork into her food.
"Have you spoken any to your friends in the X-Men?" Remy changed the subject, seeing that the issue was starting to upset her further. Besides, he'd been wondering if she'd seen any more of Wolverine since the last they'd met.
"Not really," Rogue admitted. "Ah've thought about going to visit, but...Ah don't know...Ah just...Ah still think it's too soon."
"If you put it off too long, you'll end up feeling more and more awkward with them when you do go home."
"When Ah go home?" Rogue raised her eyes to him, "What do you mean when Ah go home?"
Remy mentally kicked himself. He supposed in the end, he should just be honest. "You're bound to figure out you made a mistake joining the Acolytes eventually...you're gonna go back to the X-Men and leave us in the dust which is where we probably belong. You know back with your friends is where you'd be happiest."
"Ah'm perfectly happy where Ah am now," Rogue explained.
"Is that why you were crying yesterday?"
"Ah wasn't crying," Rogue reiterated, she squinted her eyes at him a little. "Ah got caught in the rain, Ah told you."
"Yeah...okay," he decided to play along.
"And Ah am happy where Ah am."
"Magneto is going to help you, right?"
She lowered her fork, and held the end of the table, she swallowed back some kind of strange lump of emotion in her throat, then said, "Remy...why do you keep bringing that up?"
"I just...I like to know what's what."
"Even if Ah was here to get help from Magneto...it's...it's none of your business."
"I know," he took another bite, "But...we're friends. Maybe you should tell me...maybe it'd help get things off your chest."
"Ah don't need to get things off my chest," she admitted.
"Everyone needs to get somethin' off their chest," Remy confessed thoughtfully.
"Oh?" she asked pointedly, "And what would you like to get off yours?"
"That I am way in over my head with everything right now," he shrugged, being honest. "That I feel really bad about the way I handled things yesterday with Pietro. Not that I'm sorry I did what I did but...he deserved it. But..."
"But you wished you'd been more diplomatic."
"Yes," said Remy. "Truth is though...Magneto would have been more than happy with how I handled it, even if Pietro is his son. He wanted me to be that way with them...tough...not giving an inch, you know?"
"You still kind of acted like a bully."
"I don't like to do the whole bullying thing...but sometimes it's very little choice in the matter. This is a jungle, chere. And it's survival. The weak get eaten. Bully, or be bullied...get it?"
"Ah get it, Ah just think...Ah dunno, you were way too rough. And it freaked us out. It freaked me out."
"I didn't mean it to happen, it just did. I'm sorry. I'll try to act better next time."
"Okay," Rogue nodded.
"So...I've shared. Aren't you going to now?"
Rogue gritted her teeth.
"What do you have to lose by telling me? Do you think I'm going to go share it with everyone else? You think I'm the kind of guy who tells people the secrets of others?"
"No," Rogue answered after a moment. "I just...I don't see why you even care."
"Because we're meant to be friends."
"A friend wouldn't push me for the answer."
"No, a friend would push you even further for it," Remy corrected. "A friend would want to know what it is you want. Friends share. Why not share with me? You think I won't understand?"
"Maybe."
"Come on. Try me."
Rogue looked away stubbornly, "fine. Yes. Magneto is going to help me."
"How?" Remy asked, already knowing the answer, having been warned well in advance by Wolverine.
"He's going to build a machine to accelerate the evolution of my genes...so that just maybe my powers will be manageable," Rogue responded; he could hear the tiniest bit of excitement in her tone.
"Isn't that cheating?" asked Remy, he sipped his coffee, keeping his eyes on hers.
"Does it matter if it is? Trying everything Ah can think of hasn't helped, the Professor hasn't been able to help me. Ah'm out of options."
"You're eighteen, you've barely begun looking at options."
"Ah'm not gonna waste my life looking for options and not living life the way Ah want to. Ah've lost out already. This should be the best time of my life right now. College is meant to be where people have relationships, and flings, and dances, and dates, and be able to go out in short sleeves without wondering about who's gonna get hurt!"
Remy listened to her, noting the tension building in her voice.
"Ah don't expect you to get it, Remy, because you've had your fun, and you continue to have it. You can go out, find a girl, sleep with her, and be happy."
"Can I?" he snorted. It seemed to him like that was an impossibility these days. He wasn't sure happiness had ever been an obtainable commodity in his life. Contentedness maybe, but not true happiness.
"Yes, and Ah know you have over and over again. And you'll continue to do that. Ah can't."
"I just...I don't want to see you doing something like this if there might be a better way. You don't know what something like that could do to you."
"Yes, Ah do. Ah've already weighed the options out, and the consequences are worth what Ah would gain in the long run."
"If you say so."
"Ah know so."
"You know, just a few more years of working on your powers may be all it takes," he reasoned. "It's not like you're trying to work towards gaining the ability to be with a specific person or anything, is it?"
"No," she replied.
"So, you're definitely over Cyclops?"
"Ah have been for a long time," she responded; the look on her face told him that she was only partly convinced of this herself.
"This...isn't...for him?"
"No, of course not. Its...not for anyone. It's just for me. So that Ah can be happy."
"You told me you were already happy," Remy pointed out.
"As happy as someone like me can be for now," she shrugged.
"Rogue, do you really need this?"
"You tell me?" Rogue frowned.
Remy opened his mouth, but words did not come. He wasn't sure how he was supposed to answer that.
"Say for instance...you and me...we had something?"
"Something..." he repeated, "like...?"
"That you figured out somewhere along the lines that...Ah don't know, maybe you liked me?" she shrugged, "or that Ah liked you, and you were into that?"
"Okay..." he was prepared to listen.
"Would this..." Rogue reached across and lay her gloved hand across his, "be enough?"
He stared down at their hands, slowly he turned his hand beneath hers to curl his fingers around hers gently; he didn't have an answer for question really. If he loved her would it matter? If he wanted her, would he push for it? Could he have a platonic relationship with a woman?
"No kissing, no hugging, no...messing around...no sleeping together...?" she shrugged. "Just...this..." she squeezed his hand.
And oddly that one moment of holding her hand felt strangely more intimate than the things he'd been doing with Wanda all month. He felt closer to Rogue in that moment than he had ever felt to any girl he'd slept with.
Maybe I am capable of something platonic, isn't that what this is now? He asked himself.
Memories of the dream flooded back, of how it'd felt to be with the Rogue, how nothing had ever felt that good in real life. Platonic relationships were all fine and good, but sex like that? Could he do without that? Without knowing if he'd never feel anything like that?
Maybe he'd manage to abstain for a few weeks, maybe even a month or two...but...for eternity?
He stared at Rogue's anxious expression and he felt a strange pang of anxiety; perhaps he was capable of friendship, but not having a romantic relationship so limited. He'd be constantly wanting and needing to push it further. For him to accept being with a relationship with that kind of limitation, it would need to be exceptional.
"Well...?" she asked.
"I don't know," he answered honestly, "I guess it'd depend how strongly I felt. It doesn't really matter how I feel though...it's how you feel."
"Ah thought you'd have better input than that," Rogue confessed.
He didn't want to offer her the better input, it wasn't what she wanted to hear, and it definitely wasn't what Wolverine was paying him to to tell her either.
Stick to the plan, tell her what Wolverine wants you to tell her. Put her off doing this. "All I can say is that...I think you can overcome it on your own. I got faith that you can do it...just...gonna take some work, is all."
"That's nice of you to say," she said softly, looking slightly deflated
He raised her hand to his lips and kissed her gloved knuckles tenderly, keeping his eyes upon hers the whole while, hoping his charm and appeal were enough to make her believe he thought she could overcome her powers without Magneto's help.
Rogue gave a nervous laugh and pulled her hand away. "Okay, Romeo. Lets finish this food. Ah need to get back and get some studying done before we get to training."
End of Part Sixteen
Thank you to everyone for the thoughtful reviews. Especially the long ones where I at least get to see that the story has some people thinking. Always excites me so much to hear your thoughts! As always, thanks for all the kind things that you have all said. Makes my day. I can't wait to get more parts uploaded (believe me, I'm having to hold back on posting the next 8 parts I have written, but I'm trying to pace it out a little, so as not to overwhelm everyone, lmao).
Love you all 333