MAGNETIC ATTRACTION
Part Thirty-Six
Remy LeBeau had nowhere to go.
Gathering what very belongings he owned had taken little to no time, and within ten minutes of Magneto's warning that he should leave, he was gone from the warehouse without even bothering to turn and look back. He didn't even feel it in himself to bother to say goodbye to anyone.
I didn't even say goodbye to Rogue, Remy had thought angrily as he rode his bike to town, trying to decide what he could do. Rogue had stayed in Magneto's office; whether Magneto had told her to stay there or whether she'd been reluctant to leave it, Remy was unsure, but it was all he could think about. She hadn't followed him, hadn't tried to convince him to apologize to Magneto. He'd almost expected it...he'd expected her to chase him down and beg he not go. But she hadn't. It was as if she too had given up on him.
For a while, he drove around, which usually worked well to clear his head but this time proved quite unhelpful. Perhaps it was the noise of the bike or perhaps it was just that it was still too close to what had happened. The thoughts were whirring like the sound of the engine and he couldn't think straight. What I need right now is a place to rest and think, he realised.
There were three motels in Bayville, one being on the outskirts of the other side of town, one being The Bayville Best (which was anything but) and the Lakeview Motel (which had no view of the lake to speak of). Remy decided against all three. There were two hotels in town and Remy opted to try the better one first. Unfortunately, although the place was quiet and obviously in dire need of custom, the elderly receptionist seemed to have a disliking for mutants seeing Remy's; in his haste to leave the warehouse he had forgotten to grab his sunglasses which were somewhere in the kitchen the last he remembered. With excuses made about the hotel being all booked up for a convention, Remy had no choice but to try the other, which gave the same lame excuse.
Funny how there's two conventions going on right now in this town at the same time, Remy thought furiously as he stormed out of the second hotel and glanced around the quiet street. It was nearly nine, and the street lights cast a dim light on the damp cement and tarmac.
Feeling rather downtrodden, Remy sat upon the wet pavement next to his parked bike, lit a cigarette and tried to ascertain his next move. Where should he go from here? Where was there to go? He didn't want to stay in any of the motels, he'd spent enough time sleeping in damp uncomfortable rooms as it was. He supposed he could always just leave Bayville entirely, move on to somewhere else.
No...I can't go far. What if Rogue comes to her senses, needs my help?
He somehow doubted that was going to happen. It'd been a few hours already and she hadn't even tried to call him. She didn't even fight Magneto on his kicking me out. She just stood there and let him insult me and humiliate me...
Even if she had tried to call him, he wasn't sure he would answer. What would he say to her? He was still angry with her about her betrayal of trust. When you tell someone somethin' personal like a girl raped you, you don't expect them to go blabbin' it around. I've never felt so fuckin' humiliated.
How could she tell Magneto about that? How casually had they spoken about it? Was it a general conversation or had Rogue tried to use it as her bargaining chip to get him to understand how psychotic Wanda truly was. Remy wondered if perhaps he should have tried to use it before Rogue had.
No. It was none of his goddamn business, Remy thought angrily. He saw it as just an other example of me bein' weak. Rogue should have never told him. How can I forgive her for that?
He sighed as he thought of the look on her face as she'd tried to reach for him and he'd pulled away. She'd been hurt, so dejected. Part of him hated making her feel that way, but the other part of him wanted her to feel it for what she'd done. He'd trusted her...he'd opened up to her, and it hadn't been easy...and that was what she'd done? Part of him had wanted to reciprocate the betrayal of trust by telling her about Wolverine and their deal. See how she liked it.
Do you really want to hurt her like that? Does she really deserve it? Remy asked as he flicked the cigarette ash down into the gutter and sighed. He supposed he didn't really want to hurt the girl at all. He wasn't sure what he wanted right now, other than somewhere warm to spend the night.
The sound of a motorcycle alerted Remy, and he raised his head to see Wolverine's Harley turning the corner and pulling up nearby. The older man wore no helmet, although Remy supposed if one has an Adamantium skull there was very little need for one. Wolverine leaned forward on the handlebars, and snorted, "loitering on this street is illegal, you know."
Remy snorted too, "I don't care."
Wolverine's eyes shifted to Remy's Harley, where the tote bag with his belongings was strapped to the back. "I guess you're cutting loose, huh?"
After tossing the smoked cigarette into the gutter – another crime no doubt – Remy stood up, glad his leather coat had prevented his backside from getting soaked by the wet paving. "Something like that."
"I figured you'd do that sooner or later."
Remy threw a disgusted look up at the man but said nothing.
Wolverine continued, Remy had the distinct impression the man was trying to provoke him. "Couldn't handle it, huh? Couldn't man up?"
Drawing in his breath through his nose, Remy said nothing.
Logan snorted, "Word is you're known for bein' a runaway."
Remy looked at the older man dangerously, "I didn't run away, all right? I was fucking tossed out. Tossed out because I was trying to do what you asked me to do."
"I see," said Wolverine.
"If you hadn't asked me to do this, this shit would have never happened," Remy growled.
"If you hadn't been so goddamn greedy for the money, it'd have never happened either. And who's to say that you wouldn't have tried to stop Rogue doing what she wants regardless once you figured it out without my telling you?"
Remy looked down to the ground, clenching his fist. He supposed the man was right. He had no one but himself to blame for his own mistakes. He sighed, giving into the realisation. "I can't do anything to stop her from going through with this. I've tried, and I've failed. And now..." he shook his head sadly.
"And now?"
"And now...god, I don't know. I don't know what else to do."
Wolverine climbed off the bike, "lets talk," he gestured towards the bar across the street. Remy sighed, and with a shrug, followed.
The bar was quiet tonight, which Remy thought to be quite odd considering it was a Saturday. He supposed the poor weather was keeping people indoors. Wolverine ordered two beers and they moved to a quiet table in the back. Remy accepted the beer that was slid across the table to him and he sighed as he dangled the bottle by the neck before taking his first swig.
"Tell me everything."
Remy stared down at the scratched table, tracing invisible patterns with his casted hand. "Where you want me to start?"
"From the beginning."
"There is no beginning. It just seems to start from the middle," Remy uttered miserably, he took another swig from the bottle. "From the moment Rogue joined the team I wondered what had to be in it for Magneto."
"There's always a catch," agreed Wolverine.
"And I found it. I know she's useful because of what she could do but I knew there had to be a catch somewhere, like you said. I'm not stupid, I knew there was something in it somewhere. Then you told me when we made the deal what was in it for her...but it still didn't click. Then a few days ago, Magneto drops this bomb on me that the machine...this evolution thing or whatever the fuck it is...this contraption...it's not for Rogue, it's for Wanda."
"For Wanda?" asked Wolverine after drinking from his own bottle.
"Wanda's getting out of control, she's totally deranged. She's doing stuff, saying stuff, hurtin' people..." Remy used his bottle to gesture to his cast and shook his head at himself. "Magneto puts it down to her powers...says that her powers are the cause of this...mental illness she has."
"It's an interesting theory."
"I don't think her powers are the cause...it's just...it's too easy, you know? You can't blame a simple genetic quirk on that kind of...fucked up mentality, surely?"
"You'd be surprised," Wolverine admitted casually.
Remy supposed Wolverine would have to see it from another side, from what he'd heard and observed, much of Wolverine's own savage nature was influenced by his 'quirk' too. Pushing aside the thought, Remy continued, "I can believe maybe her powers are bein' affected by it, not that her powers are causing it."
Wolverine stared across at him, listening, absorbing these things, his eyes cold and calculating.
"Wanda has done some pretty despicable things, but it was sort of...you know...glossed over...at least up until she tried to kill herself."
"I heard about that. Jean volunteers at the hospital and found out...she even had Charles come in and try to help, not that his help was accepted."
Remy frowned, "Magneto let me believe that Xavier had tried to help and couldn't do anything."
"No...he was turned away."
"Is it true then that the Professor refused to help build the evolution machine?"
Wolverine's expression became vague, "I don't know about that. All I know is he's offered his help to try and get through to Wanda...and Magneto reiterated he doesn't want Charles interfering."
"Sounds like him," snorted Remy.
"So he gave you every indication he'd asked Charles for help?"
"He made some comment that the guy wouldn't...I don't know, god the whole thing went by so fast...one minute it was a meeting, the next I was being fired! And now...now Magneto is gonna rush to build this machine, without breaks, probably without sleep, because he thinks it's going to fix whatever is wrong with Wanda. But Rogue is the fucking test subject...whatever goes wrong, she's gonna be the first one to catch the effects..."
The older man's face became tight, his eyes squinting.
"Does she know?"
"You think I'd have walked out without makin' sure she knew the purpose she's about to serve to that maniac?" Remy asked in disgrace. "Of course she knows it. She's fully aware of it. She stood there and sided with Magneto over it...and me? I got put out for trying to stop her!"
"You really need to talk to the Professor about this," said Wolverine. "Maybe he can get through to Magneto..."
"Doubtful," Remy shook his head. "I've seen Magneto like this before...he goes into this kind of...manic calculatin' evil mode. He doesn't listen, he doesn't reason. He just does whatever the fuck he does until it works or goes wrong, and then he comes to his senses. I don't think anythin' will get through to him."
"Then maybe Charles can get through to Rogue," Wolverine responded.
"What good do you think that's gonna do? I couldn't even get through to her...not even after-" he stopped himself, reminding himself certain things should be left private, that certain things probably shouldn't be shared with the man who had already warned him to not get romantically involved with the girl.
"Even after what?"
"Nothin'," Remy shook his head at himself.
"Listen," Wolverine reached across the table, grasped the front of his shirt and pulled him closer, as he spoke his spittle practically splattered on Remy's face, "I ain't got time to pussy foot around your teenage drama shit. If you expect us to help you then we need to know everything."
As intimidated as Remy was, he kept his cool and stared at Wolverine directly in the eyes and uttered, "I told her I was fallin' for her...we...got into a relationship. Even then...she didn't budge."
Wolverine rolled his eyes, "Gambit, you fu-" he shook his head, letting go of him.
Remy stared down at the table uneasily, feeling guilt beginning to eat at him again.
Slamming his fist on the table, rattling the bottles, Wolverine demanded, "are you crazy?!"
Remy stared across at him. Probably, he thought.
"You should have never tried to get into a relationship with the girl. That was only more likely to drive her to do this rather than stop her!"
"I know that...now," Remy responded regretfully.
"Didn't it occur to you why I tried to warn you off?!"
"Well..." Remy began he paused, "I thought I was gonna be able to convince her that she didn't need to be able to touch me to be with me...that maybe it would at least bide us some time until...some other kind of intervention."
"You idiot," Wolverine growled.
"Look, if it hadn't been for Wanda, it'd have worked. It was Wanda...runnin' her mouth off about what me and her had done together...I think that's what put Rogue in the mindset that she has to do this now. Not to mention she wants to go through with this partly for Wanda's sake too. Thinks she somehow owes it to her..."
"Yeah, that's Rogue. Always the martyr," Wolverine muttered, he sipped from his beer.
Remy stared down at the table, feeling very lost. Where to go from here? "Can your professor do anythin' to stop this?"
"I don't know. He can be quite persuasive, but Magneto isn't going to allow himself to be manipulated into giving up these plans. And Rogue is too set on having what she wants to let herself be talked out of it. There may be very little anyone can do. Charles and I both tried, and failed, and you've tried, and failed. If we try to make threats, it could turn ugly and I know the kind of things Magneto is capable of in preventing people from getting close to his territory when he doesn't want them there."
"So what am I meant to do now? Let it run it's course? Let Rogue possibly die?"
Wolverine took a long sip from his beer, then pointed at him, "you'll stay with us tonight."
"But-" Remy began, blinking.
"It's too late to do anything tonight. Whatever this thing is that Magneto is building, there's no way he's gonna finish it tonight. Nothing will happen, Rogue is safe for the moment."
Remy sighed. He supposed the man was right. It was too late to do anything now, and there wasn't any way in hell the man could finish that big mess of machine that had been scattered all over the floor in his office in one single night.
"We'll talk Charles through everything you've just told me and hopefully, in the morning, he'll be able to find a way to get through to Magneto or Rogue."
Remy put the beer down, he didn't feel much like drinking tonight, regardless of how much he wanted to be able to forget his woes. All the alcohol and drugs in the world weren't going to fix this. All drink ever seemed to do was black out the night he'd been drinking on, not the memories that preceded it.
"Stay with the X-Men..." Remy said with a little uncertainty.
"You got somewhere better to go?" Wolverine snorted.
He supposed staying with the X-Men was a step up from lowering himself to sleeping at The Bayville Best again. The Bayville Best after all was barely a step up from his damp bedroom at the warehouse. "Fine," he finally responded with a sigh. He just hoped that the morning would bring answers to all of his problems.
Rogue sighed as she stared across the dark woodlands; she was standing on the fire escape balcony outside of her room, holding onto the metal railing. The trees were swaying in the wind, slightly lit up by moonlight that every now and then peered from behind the rain clouds.
She should have been happy. The decision to push ahead the plans for the machine had been exactly what she'd been hoping for. But she couldn't feel happy about it, not after what had happened in Magneto's office. With the misery came the questions that kept rearing their ugly little heads, and she had to keep asking herself why had she not fought for Remy's right to stay in the team?
Even if Magneto hadn't asked Remy to go, Ah think he was already gearin' up to just walk out anyway, Rogue thought. It seemed to her things had been building and it had only been an eventuality that he would finally go. When Ah told him that Ah'd asked Magneto to not send Wanda away...Ah saw that look on his face. This was bound to happen sooner or later.
Still. She wished he hadn't just walked out without fighting for his right to stay. His going left a horrible emptiness within her. Falling for him had been a surprising and fast turn of events, and indeed, so had the reciprocation. But his going so soon after their establishing the foundations of a relationship...it hurt immensely. And it left a void.
She supposed in the end that void was her own doing. She'd made the void herself through her difficult choices.
But Ah had to choose, she decided, trying to justify the events to herself. Ah only have to look out for one person and think about one person's feelings and that's myself. What if Ah did listen, and miss my opportunity to be normal just because Remy asked me not to do it? If he ran off with some other girl after, then...Ah'd be stuck this way forever. Magneto might never give me another chance.
Rogue hated herself for thinking these things. Somehow in her heart she felt that Remy wouldn't have run off with anyone and she wanted to believe that they'd have been together forever. However her head spoke logically and her logical feelings were quite different. In her mind, she knew Remy LeBeau was capable of deceit, betrayal and selfishness and that he could leave and take up with someone else, that his feelings could change as quickly as the weather.
He'd barely been gone five hours but already she missed him. The warehouse felt oddly empty without him there...she'd never quite spent any time there with him not there. It was almost as Remy were the beating heart of the building, the one that pumped life into it.
Five hours he's been gone...and already it feels less like home than it did, Rogue thought uneasily as she gazed upon the dark view.
Where would Remy go now? Would he go back to Louisana? Would he go back to the life of crime he'd desperately wanted to avoid (or so he'd said).
Why did he have to pick the fight right in front of Magneto. Why did Ah let him insist on comin' into that goddamn room. Ah shouldn't have let him. If we'd had that conversation in private, it wouldn't have ended that way.
"Is beautiful view at night, no?"
Rogue had not heard the squeak of the metal door opening, nor the heavy footsteps of Piotr Rasputin as he'd come to join her on the balcony. It was strange, she thought, how preoccupation seemed to dull the senses incredibly. She sighed and turned to look at him, "Ah guess."
"You seem troubled."
"Ah'm just tired," she lied.
"I see," Piotr looked around, "Have you seen Remy? I need to ask something about next training session."
"Remy left," Rogue sighed as she looked back to the view.
"He left?" Piotr sounded quite astounded.
"Actually no, he didn't leave, he was tossed out," Rogue uttered angrily, wishing she had not let Magneto throw Remy out. Ah should have done more, shouldn't have just stood there and said nothin' as Remy walked out. "Magneto asked him to go."
"This...is troubling," said Piotr, "why did he do this?"
"Because...Remy didn't agree with somethin' Magneto wants to do...Ah guess," she tried to be as vague as possible. She wasn't sure she wanted Piotr knowing about all that had happened. She was sure Remy wouldn't appreciate being talked about much further. "He...didn't even put a fight up. Just...left."
God, the look on his face when Magneto spoke about the rape...he looked so...angry and hurt. Ah've never seen him look so dark, Rogue remembered, shuddering a little at the thought of it all. It'd been horrible, and she'd never expected it to come out in such a way. He probably feels humiliated now...Ah guess Ah can't blame him for that.
"I am not surprised that he left without fight," Piotr responded, "I have seen it over his time here that he would eventually leave."
Rogue tilted her head to look at Piotr, "did he ever say anythin' about it?"
"No. But I saw how serious he was, and how very unhappy."
"Why do you think he was unhappy?" Rogue asked softly, she leaned on the rail casually and stared down at the ground.
"He would never say. I would ask but he would keep things quiet. He is always very quiet about how he feels. He does not speak about personal things. Unless he is drunk, of course."
Rogue raised an eyebrow, "he get drunk a lot?"
"Not very, only five or six times since I have known him in past year," Piotr shrugged.
"So, uhm..." Rogue chewed the inside of her cheek and averted her eyes, "what...kind of things does he say when he's drunk?"
"That he has had...shitty life," Piotr said, "if you pardon my bad language."
Rogue gave a vague laugh, "don't worry. It doesn't offend me. What else has he talked about?"
"I...really should not divulge. These are things he said in confidence."
"In my experience he never remembers what he does after he's been drunk...so..." Rogue shrugged.
Piotr scratched the back of his neck awkwardly, "He once complained of feeling very...exploited. I was not sure what this word means...I would look it up in dictionary if I owned dictionary."
Rogue's stomach churned a little, "used," she responded uneasily. "It means...used."
"I see," responded Piotr.
"Anything else?"
Piotr scratched the back of his neck, "he has not said anything specific, but I know he feels very deeply for you..."
Rogue turned to stare at him, her stomach seemed to churn even more.
"I see way he looks at you...he has never had that look for other girl. And I've seen him with many girl..."
She stared down to the floor uneasily, and hugged herself.
"The look he has for you reminds me of way my father looks at my mother...something very deep that is unsaid."
Rogue sighed, but she could find nothing to respond with.
"I cannot understand why you did not go with him," Piotr turned to look at her, "I know you feel the same. I can see it in your eyes too."
"Ah can't go...not yet," Rogue shook her head.
"Why?" Piotr asked, "What do you have to lose?"
"Everything," she replied quietly, "my only hopes of ever bein'...normal."
"This what the experiment with your powers was about?" he asked, only reminding her of how badly she'd drained him at Magneto's command. The memory made her uneasy, had her almost doubt that she should trust Magneto.
"Yes," Rogue responded, "Magneto is goin' to help me control my powers...and Remy doesn't agree with it. Thinks Ah'll be hurt."
"Maybe you should trust Remy's judgement," Piotr shrugged. "He...does not make foolish mistakes."
He's made quite a few, Rogue thought.
"Are you doing this for him?" Piotr asked.
"Not...totally..." she admitted truthfully.
"Perhaps that is why he left without fight."
"Huh?"
"Well..." began Piotr with a sigh, "I was always taught that when you fall in love you choose the other person's feelings over your own. You make sacrifices."
Rogue shook her head, "This is a sacrifice. Don't you get it? If Ah stay how Ah am now...Ah can't give him what he needs..."
"Has he asked anything of you?"
"No."
"Given any hint of what he want?"
"No..." Rogue responded.
"Has he told you what he need?"
"Well...no..." she stammered.
"Then how would you know?" Piotr asked.
"Ah just...Ah know..." she tried, "he hasn't gone more than a week without it...and with me, that could go on...forever. If Ah don't do somethin' about my powers then he's stuck not gettin' the enjoyment out of life that he could be havin'. Why should he be the one to lose out because of what Ah am?"
"It seems to me..." began Piotr, his expression serious and almost angry, "that you are making excuses. If you are doing this for yourself, then you should not try to justify it as being for him."
Rogue wished she weren't so transparent. Her cheeks flushed crimson and her lips trembled.
"I do not blame you for wanting control of your powers. I know these things are hard for you, I know it must hurt great deal," Piotr admitted, "but to go to Magneto to try to...cheat...for control...it does not seem like working plan. I can understand why Remy would want to talk you out of such silly idea."
"It's not a silly idea," Rogue responded indignantly. "It's worked before on others," she explained, "and it's going to work again."
"And you know this for sure?"
"Yes," Rogue responded, "Ah know Ah'll come out of this stronger with more control than Ah ever had. And Ah'll have the ability to live a normal life as well as a mutant one. It'll change my quality of life..."
"Are you sure of this?"
Rogue had to ask herself if she was sure. Could she really guarantee this would work? It has to. Magneto isn't going to put Wanda through this machine unless it works...and he's rushing to build it for her. He's going to be careful, he isn't gonna leave anything to chance...he never does.
"Well?" Piotr asked.
"Yes," Rogue nodded. "Ah know Ah'm going to come out of this fine. And Remy has nothin' to worry about."
"Then I wish you luck. I hope you achieve everything you hope you will," Piotr turned to head for the door. "It is just a shame that it has to cost you what might have been a very good relationship."
"Do you think I'm selfish?" Rogue asked quietly before he had the chance to leave her there.
Piotr stood for a moment, contemplating. "No," Piotr shook his head, "Selfishness suggests that a person only thinks of their own self when making a decision. That their decisions only affect themselves and they do not care about the outcome nor the effect it has on others. I do not see you as that person. I do however see you as a person who is putting herself first..."
"Isn't it the same thing?" she asked, somewhat confused.
"No," Piotr shook his head softly, "because when you put yourself first, there is always someone being put second..." he paused for a moment, "I can understand why Remy would not put up fight in leaving."
"Oh?" she dared to ask.
"No one has ever really put him first."
End of Part Thirty-Six
I apologise that this part was uploaded far later than I intended. My internet was cut off and so I was unable to get anything put up! Slightly shorter chapter this time around, but hopefully you all like it. Thanks to all for the awesome reviews, they make my day (especially the very long, insightful thoughtful ones). Hoping to get more parts up in the next few days :)