MAGNETIC ATTRACTION
Part Forty-One
Rogue didn't go to college that morning. She just couldn't. Besides the pain of what had been done to her, her exhaustion had settled in some time just before seven am, and so she curled up in bed and pulled the pillow over her head and determined that she would sleep through her day instead. She knew when she returned to her classes, she would no doubt receive an earful of reprimanding from each professor but she didn't care. For now she was sore and tired and it was her priority to sleep off the embarrassment, the pain and the exhaustion making her bones ache.
She slept until almost three pm that day. When she awakened, the pain was still there, although it had dulled slightly she was very aware of it. Maybe Ah should make an appointment for a doctor or somethin'...would that be paranoid? Am I overreactin'?
After changing her clothes, she left her bedroom. From the catwalk to her room, she could see the back of Logan's unique hair style popping over the back of the couch in the living room area, and she realised he was there, which surprised her somewhat. Crossing the warehouse and going upstairs to the living room area, she found him to be supervising Wanda who was watching television in her usual daze. Rogue stood at the top of the living room stairs for a moment, trying to clear her head and imagine why he was there at all, and then she realised he must be acting as the Professor's driver and companion. The Professor was helping Magneto with the machine today.
"Logan," Rogue said, brushing her sleep-mussed hair from her eyes tiredly.
"You skipped college?" Logan asked, disapprovingly. Rogue thought it ironic. If she'd skipped her classes to go help on any of the X-Men's missions, she doubt he'd have disapproved quite the same way.
"Ah didn't sleep," she sighed.
"Why not?"
"Just over-tired, Ah guess," Rogue responded, she examined Wanda, who was looking blankly at the screen again.
"Up all night?"
"Kind of," Rogue scratched the back of her neck awkwardly.
"You were with Gambit again, weren't you?" asked Logan knowingly. "He snuck out last night some time after three. Didn't turn up until way after five."
At least he got home, thought Rogue. She'd been slightly concerned about him walking home in the snow, but the amount of pain she'd been in, she wasn't sure she'd have been able to drive without aggravating the pain further. She wished she had someone to ask, but there were no appropriate people she knew who would have an answer.
"Who Ah go out with and at what time is my business. Ah don't need curfews and chaperones," she retorted, feeling a little irritable.
"Hey, you wanna run around all night with some guy, fine, I ain't contestin' that you're an adult now, you have a right to do that if you want. But when you don't turn up for school that you're havin' paid for you, then I got a problem."
Rogue frowned, "Ah wish all of you would just stop tellin' me what the fuck to do!" she snapped. "Ah have my Professors on my case every day tellin' me Ah'm screwin' up, Ah have Remy in one ear tellin' me how to live my life, and I got Magneto in the goddamn other tellin' me to look after his daughter! I got you and the Professor dictatin' to me how Ah should continue my education-"
"Hey wait a minute," Logan stood and pointed a finger at her, "now listen here. It was you who chose to go to Bayville Community College, no one forced your hand. You applied for that placement on your own, no one made you go there, no one made you pick those classes."
Rogue folded her arms stubbornly, "what the hell else was Ah supposed to do? Ah was about to graduate and Ah have no where else to go! It was the Professor's idea that Ah further my education, that it would benefit me in the long run," she took one step forward, and regretted it. Somehow, inside, she felt that step and she winced in spite of herself. She hoped Logan had not noticed.
"You complained that you'd never have the opportunity to go to college and the Professor gave you an opportunity – which you gladly accepted."
"Are you sayin' Ah'm not grateful?" Rogue demanded.
"No," Logan stood calmly, "what I'm sayin' is that this was your choice. College was your choice and you made a commitment."
"Ah didn't think it was gonna be all this much stress and exhaustion all the time, Ah didn't think it was gonna be this bad."
"Get used to it. You make choices in life, you gotta deal with the outcome. When you commit to somethin', regardless of the outcome, you're stuck with it," he said pointedly, "and that applies in more than one way, so think about it."
He's talkin' about the evolution, Rogue realised. She didn't argue, she could find no further argument for it, and she was sick of going through the same discussion time and time again. Nothing would change, and she didn't intend anything to.
Logan pointed a thumb towards Wanda. "You mind keepin' an eye on her while I go smoke?" he grunted, letting his anger with her drop.
Rogue shrugged, "Ah guess."
"And when I get back, I want to hear about this meeting you had with Gambit last night."
Rogue wasn't sure why Logan was looking at her so strangely, she tried to ignore the odd expression on his face and she sat down on the couch where he'd been sitting, on the opposite end of Wanda. After what felt to be about five minutes of sitting there, Wanda turned and looked at Rogue, her gaze still somewhat vacant, but clearly she was much more conscious than she had been the past few days.
Looks like the sedatives are starting to wear off a little, or she's buildin' a tolerance to them, Rogue realised. Maybe that's why Magneto's in such a rush to get this done. Maybe he can't keep her sedated indefinitely, maybe she's too strong for that...
"You were walkin' funny," Wanda mumbled, her voice low and drowsy, she turned towards the TV again.
"Tripped and hurt my leg," Rogue lied, she crossed her legs slowly, she wondered how much longer she'd be feeling this pain. How long did these things usually take to heal? Why did it hurt so badly? Why is it no one had ever told her it might be like this?
"He fuck you?" asked Wanda crudely, she gave an odd high toned doped up sounding laugh that made Rogue shudder a little.
"Wanda, are you listening to yourself?" Rogue asked.
"No," Wanda snorted, "but then no one else does..." she scratched at her hand, the tape holding the IV needle to her hand was slightly peeling and around it the area looked inflamed and itchy. "So...did he fuck you?"
"No...how the hell could he?"
"There's more than one way to skin a wombat," Wanda stated, her eyes suddenly feverish.
"Ah think you need another dose of whatever it is your daddy keeps givin' you," Rogue remarked coolly.
"Sticks and stones, skin and bones," Wanda cooed. "Did he pop your cherry, or lick the cream, talk the talk or live the dream?"
"Wanda, what the fuck?" Rogue blinked. She got up quickly from the couch and moved away, feeling disturbed and uneasy being right next to the girl. Right now, with Wanda beginning to enter into a manic state, Rogue's skin couldn't help but crawl with unease.
Wanda laughed loudly, she raised a weak hand towards Rogue and pointed vaguely, "you have the walk of a girl who got fucked."
"Well Ah didn't..." Rogue folded her arms insecurely, she tried to hide the pain in her. "Ah wasn't..."
"So why are you walkin' like that?"
Rogue stared down to the floor.
"Oh..." said Wanda, giggling, "I get it...he fingered you...broke the little virgin's flower!"
"Shut up," Rogue frowned.
"He likes to push in hard and deep," Wanda said, squinting, her voice a strange lazy drawl, "likes to make you feel it...likes to make it hurt you know."
"Wanda...shut up," Rogue clenched her teeth, wanting to hit the girl.
"Once..." said Wanda, her expression almost dreamy as she seemed to remember, "he fucked me in the laundry room..." she lay her head back against the couch cushions and gasped at the thought, "ripped my panties off...took me right there against the machines...he made it hurt oh so bad...he likes to make it hurt...likes to inflict himself on me...he hides it but he loves it...loves to humiliate and cause pain..." Wanda raised her eyes to Rogue and gave a wicked smirk, "he forced me to go down on him that day too, made me swallow, never gave me a choice..."
Rogue clenched her fists hard in her folded arms, holding back from swinging towards the girl. She'd seemed so different last night, not the same girl. It were as if there were two different girls in the one body, fighting for control.
It's the insanity, it's not her fault. It's not her fault. Don't listen to her, Remy isn't like that, he isn't cruel like that...
"You know why he fucked me that day?" Wanda suddenly asked, her expression serious, "because he can't ever have you. I saw it on his face every time you came in the room, every time he was there with you, how much he wanted to fuck you and how hard it made him, and how he'd then come and fuck me. It drove him wild."
Rogue gaped at the girl, her stomach felt knotted with disgust at the thought.
"And then Lance," sighed Wanda, "when pretty Kitty wouldn't put out..."
In shock, Rogue's mouth fell. It was unfortunate that Lance had decided to come up the stairs right at that moment, his expression darkened when he noted Wanda was lucid. He'd picked the wrong time to accidentally walk in on a conversation.
Rogue turned to the boy, swallowed hard and then said, "you're fucking her?"
Lance gaped, and for a moment didn't seem able to respond, "I uhm..."
"Tell her, Lance," Wanda tried to stand and weakly fell back to the couch, "tell her about our little deal," she peeled the what was left of the micropore tape away from her hand. Rogue could see the inflammation of the needle, the scratches where she'd been clawing at the irritation.
Lance glanced to Rogue, his expression changing to one of extreme distress and embarrassment.
"Tell her!"
"Tell me what?" Rogue demanded, becoming even more furious than she had been before.
"You think I took your car battery and engine alone?!" Wanda asked incredulously, "you think I knew how to do all of that?!"
Rogue glared, "you did it?!" she demanded of Lance, almost on the verge of punching the boy.
"And then he makes the money back from you and Remy for fixin' the problems he makes!" Wanda cracked a wicked and vicious grin.
Lance stepped back a little, catching himself on the first step and nearly falling, "I...uhm...I owed money to a guy for..."
"For what? For weed?" asked Rogue, knowing of the problem.
"I had to-"
"You cheated on my friend and you fucked up my car for debt to a fucking drug dealer!?" Rogue shrieked. She was quite startled by how high her own voice sounded, she'd never imagined herself to be quite this upset by it.
"Look, it was a big debt, and it was all her idea-" Lance moved out of the way of the stairs.
Rogue swung towards him, and just as she did, she felt a hand catch her arm hard. Logan had finally come back.
"What the hell?"
"He tore apart my car so he could charge me to fix it!" Rogue yelled, she struggled with Logan, who due to his strength and the sturdiness of his skeleton, was simply too impossible to break free from.
"That's no reason to punch him," Logan warned as he held her arm up.
"He's fucking Wanda! Behind Kitty's back!" Rogue spat.
Logan suddenly let go of Rogue's arm, pushed her out of the way and thrust himself towards Lance, grabbing him by the front of the t-shirt and swinging him halfway over the railing overlooking the first floor of the warehouse.
Lance's eyes were wide, he tried to grip onto the rail, desperate to not be thrown over. Rogue realised that even he knew better to use his powers within the warehouse, where destruction would cost him dearly. Or maybe he was just too afraid to attempt to use his powers in a proximity this close with Logan. "Hey man, lets just...lets just talk about this," he tried with Logan.
"Give me one good reason why I shouldn't break your neck," Logan dared.
Lance blinked, "look...everyone makes mistakes-"
"Oh he loves to make mistakes," said Wanda, "Sometimes three times...four times a day," she singsonged from where she sat on the couch, she was rocking back and forth, hugging her knees.
Logan held him further over the rail, "I always figured you'd break her heart one day!"
"She doesn't have to know, man," Lance tried hopefully. "What she doesn't know can't hurt her..."
"But it can hurt you," Logan made the move to almost drop him, then yanked him back and threw him to the floor hard. "You're gonna break it off with Kitty."
"But-" Lance tried to pull himself up, his face pale and frightened.
"And you're gonna tell her the truth," Logan warned.
"But...I don't wanna hurt her..." Lance said feebly.
Rogue put her hand on Logan's arm, "he's right...she'd be devastated..."
Logan snorted, "if she doesn't know...she'd be stupid enough to take him back...she needs to know what he did."
Wanda spoke up, "better she find out from him than someone else."
"You shut up," Rogue hissed. "This is all your fault!"
"Sticks and stones," Wanda scoffed.
Logan turned to Rogue, "you see how devious these people are? This is the team you joined of your own free will?" he frowned. "No wonder your boyfriend's head is all over the place..."
Rogue's face went a furious scarlet, and she stared to the floor, trying to calm herself down. Her blood felt like it may almost be boiling beneath her skin.
"You stay here with them, you're going to end up just as messed up as the rest of this crew," Logan warned.
"Logan, calm yourself."
Rogue glanced over the rail to see Magneto floating there, and beside him, the Professor's wheelchair was floating as his command. Both men seemed extremely displeased. Magneto moved the Professor's chair into the living room and gently placed it down.
"What is happening?" the Professor asked.
"Trouble, like always when these kids are around," grunted Logan through his clenched teeth.
Wanda tried to get up again, Magneto frowned. "The sedatives appear to be wearing off..."
"You can't keep me sedated forever," Wanda warned, she awkwardly yanked the needle from her hand, a trickle of blood spilled from the mark, she got to her feet weakly and fell to her knees, her body was much weaker than her mind was. She clambered almost drunkenly, trying to pull herself up using the coffee table.
"Would you rather I locked you away?" Magneto dared her.
"Magnus," the Professor admonished under his breath.
Wanda raised her weak hand and the metal rail shook momentarily, bending almost as she tried to use her powers upon it. Magneto was far stronger, and he forced it back into place, it becoming still once more.
"Enough," said Magneto, he pulled a hypodermic from the pocket of his grey pants and he moved closer.
Wanda desperately tried to scramble away, but she still wasn't nimble enough, still drugged and lethargic, she had no chance against her father. She suddenly started sobbing, trying to reach the rail to get towards the stairs as if she thought she actually had a chance in escaping.
"Don't!" she pleaded.
"Enough of this!" Magneto grasped her arm.
"Stop!" his daughter cried. Her struggling a little more. "Don't dope me! Please!" Somehow she managed to get onto her stomach and she was desperately trying to crawl out from under him to get away.
"It's for your own good, Wanda," Magneto remarked calmly.
Logan tried to intervene. "Don't think about it, buckethead!" he swung towards the man with his fist, but a simple glance towards the Logan was all it took to send him sliding backwards. A man with an adamantium skeleton was no match for a man who had complete power over metal.
"Help me!" Wanda shrieked, reaching towards Rogue, who could only stand there in shock.
"Magnus, enough!" warned Professor Xavier.
Magneto frustratedly used his teeth to tear the cap off of the thing, then thrust the needle into her hip, pushing the plunger quickly. Wanda flailed for only a moment, and then her wide feverish eyes blinked, and then closed, her mouth seemed to relax and droop and then she was still. The others could only watch in a state of horror as the scene unfolded. Even Lance seemed mortified.
Rogue felt queasy, she swallowed back the sickness and tried to get a hold of herself.
"You cannot sedate her forever," warned the Professor.
"You saw what she tried to do," Magneto frowned, "You want her to have pipes and wires wrapped around all of our necks?! Do you know the damage my daughter can do?!"
"I think Wanda should come with us," the Professor remarked quietly.
"No," said Magneto angrily, "do you want your entire mansion in ruins? Corpses piling up?" he hissed.
"The girl needs understanding, Magnus, not sedatives."
"You will not remove my daughter from this place," warned Magneto, "Besides," he stood up and calmly put the cap back on the hypodermic. "It would be in poor taste to take her back with you considering the claims your current house guest made against her, would you not say?"
Logan, who was still under the effects of Magneto's power grimaced as he tried to move forward, "what...the hell...are you talkin' about?" he grunted.
Rogue glared at Magneto, "don't..." she shook her head. Surely he wasn't about to tell them, not in front of Lance Alvers, not like this.
"Magnus?" Professor Xavier asked concernedly.
"It's not for you to tell them!" Rogue moved between the Professor and Magneto. "It ain't your place to tell them that and you know it."
"It was not your place to tell me, and yet, you did..." reminded Magneto coldly.
"Rogue, what the hell is he talkin' about?" Logan demanded.
"Nothin', he's talkin' about nothin'," Rogue lied, she gave a warning look to her boss and shook her head.
"Lance, help Rogue carry Wanda to her bedroom. Rogue, you will stay with her until I return with the IV."
"But..." Rogue gaped. Was he going to do this? Was he going to tell Logan and the Professor about what the poor insane girl had done to Remy LeBeau? Was he really going to humiliate him like this further?
Logan, finally released from Magneto's grip, relaxed and sighed. After throwing a dirty look to Magneto, he moved slowly to Rogue, "kid, you saw what just happened...you really going to let him push you around? You really going to stay after this? After all that just went on?"
Rogue gazed down at Wanda, who Lance was having a hard time of lifting by himself. "Ah...Ah have to..." she realised. If Ah don't stay...what happens to her? What will he do to her?
"No, you don't. You have a choice here," the Professor chimed in. "You are free to walk away any time you like."
Rogue shook her head sadly, "look at her, Professor...Ah could be her...this could be me...out of control, ranting, raving...doin' insane stuff, not even really knowin' what Ah'm doin'..." she sighed. "If Ah do this...Ah get to save her...Ah get to save myself...Ah don't want to end up this way."
"You would never end up in this state," the Professor frowned.
"You don't know that. Sometimes Ah absorb people and things stay with me forever...memories...feelings. Sometimes Ah don't know what memories are mine any more. What if some day, Ah absorb so much of someone that Ah won't know who Ah am any more...what if Ah end up doin' crazy stuff too?"
"We won't let that happen..."
"You won't be able to stop it," Rogue hugged herself, "Magneto couldn't stop it when it happened to Wanda...he couldn't stop her powers drivin' her to become someone she isn't...and you won't be able to stop it with me."
"Rogue...take your time and think about this," Logan pleaded.
"Ah have," Rogue assured, "And Ah'm goin' through with it..." she moved to help Lance lift Wanda, who seemed to weigh twice what she normally would have due to the limpness of her sedated body. She didn't give the Professor or Logan a second glance before she left to go to Wanda's room, nor did she say a word to Lance as he helped her move the sleeping girl. She was too mad, too shocked, and too exhausted to speak any more.
Remy LeBeau had been sitting enjoying a cup of coffee in the kitchen of the institute when he'd heard the loud rumbling of the institutes' garage door as it opened to allow in a car. Remy sat for a moment, staring down into his coffee cup, the coffee quality here was superb, the coffee maker had it's own milk steamer and so he'd made a cappuccino.
Even a cappuccino isn't gonna make me feel better about how stupid I was this mornin' in the car with Rogue, he thought as he swirled the liquid a little, the remaining foam kissing the edges of the cup.
He took a sip, brushed the foam from his lips and was about to go back to reading the newspaper that had been there on the table when he'd come in. But the sound of voices following the slamming of a car door disturbed him, and so, he stood up and moved to the door which he'd learned through exploration was the one adjoining the kitchen to the garage.
The voices were distinct. One belonged to Professor Xavier, the other belonged to Logan. And they were arguing.
"We shouldn't have just gone and left without her!" Logan was saying, there was a thump thump thump with his footsteps as he moved around the car it seemed. Remy pressed his ear to the door to listen in a little better.
"What could we have done? We cannot take her against her will..."
"She was close to cavin'! I saw it in her eyes!" Logan admonished.
Remy chewed the inside of his cheek. That's what you saw in her eyes too, he told himself. Somethin' isn't right...she's startin' to doubt. About goddamn time.
Another car door shut, this time with less of a slam than the other. "What he did to to Wanda...Charles, I don't like the girl, but she didn't deserve to be treated like that, and not in front of us..."
"It disturbed me," admitted the Professor. "I've never seen him so frantic with his daughter. He treats her like a maniacal stranger...I sensed his dread...almost fear."
"We should have taken her, with or without his consent," Logan uttered. Remy had to concentrate to hear better now. "We shouldn't have let him do that to her."
"We cannot afford to wage war on Magneto on his own ground...whatever we do can put Rogue at risk. Wanda too. Starting a war now with Magneto would only distract him further, could cause catastrophic mistakes on that machine. Besides...after his revelation...it would be disastrous to bring Wanda here if we want Gambit to feel safe here for now."
Logan gave a grunt. "You really believe what he said about her?"
The Professor paused for a moment, "I do not want to believe it."
"But do you?" reiterated Logan.
"I'd rather not discuss the issue, Logan. We should have left when Rogue tried to stop him from divulging that information. It was never his right to tell us that."
"He must have had something to gain from it."
"I don't doubt it."
Remy sighed and he leaned against the door, feeling deflated and unhappy and utterly furious with Magneto. As if life hadn't been bad enough this past few days, there was now even more turmoil to add to it. Misery usually came in threes, it seemed, but his seemed to be coming in far larger numbers.
He ran his hand through his hair and pushed himself away from the door. Fantastic. Now they know what Wanda did to me. Now I have to be in the same room with them, and have them know that that crazy bitch did that to me.
From the start of his waking up to Rogue's phone call, it'd been a bad day. First had been Rogue's reluctance to admit she loved him, then the clumsy oral sex which had turned into utter disgust for the girl and resulting in the most unromantic act of her throwing up behind the trees. His attempts to repay the kindness had turned into a horrible experience for her when he'd accidentally broken through her hymen which seemed to have caused much more damage than he would have predicted. Now both Professor Xavier and Wolverine, two of the X-Men's highest ranking members, knew he'd essentially been raped by an eighteen year old girl. Summarizing it all, he realised it was one hellish cocktail of mess that had been forced down his throat.
How much worse is this day gonna get? This past week has been pretty horrible and now...jesus, how much more can you take? I need to get out of this place, I can't be here and have that Professor or Wolverine look at me knowin' what they know. I just can't do it.
Without a word to anyone, he took off; the gates were open at this time of early evening and so at least he could leave unnoticed. When he'd ridden the bike out and was halfway to town, it occurred to him that he still had no place to go.
Leave your shit, forget about everythin' bad that ever happened, forget about Magneto and Wanda and this godforsaken place and just fucking go, he told himself angrily.
He wanted to go so badly. He wanted to go and never look back.
But he couldn't. Before he'd have been able to pick up and take off regardless, not have a care in the world about what he left behind him, not care about the wreckage left in his wake. However...now there was Rogue. He couldn't just go and leave her.
Relationship is panning out bad, everythin' is goin' wrong. She wants more and whenever you try to provide it, it goes horribly wrong. Plus seems like she ain't in the same place emotionally that you are. Maybe it just weren't meant to be, he thought at himself as he parked his Harley in town.
He walked around for a little while, trying to clear his head, trying to think straight. Despite the relationship had been going rather badly with Rogue, he still couldn't bear the thought of leaving her in the lurch.
The girl cares bout you, Remy. She the only one who maybe ever has cared about you, he reminded himself as he spied a bar on a corner and decided that he needed a beer to help him clear his head.
As he sat drinking the first three beers, it occurred to him that although the girl cared, she didn't seem to care enough to at least consider waiting before going through with the evolution process.
She showed she was willin' to experiment with the limitation of her powers, he thought as he ordered a double scotch. His head was already starting to swim, although he thought the lack of sleep would have more to do with that than the alcohol. Or was that whole thing in the woods just her way of makin' sure that you stick around until the day she gets her evolution?
A scotch, a beer, another scotch, a tequila for good measure and some experimental cocktail the part time bartender had given on the house as an attempt to test the waters with the drink. Another beer, a rum and coke this time, and some kind of liquorice flavoured shot that was purple. With thoughts of Rogue came thoughts of Magneto, with thoughts of Magneto came thoughts of Wanda, and with thoughts of Wanda came the thoughts of what the Professor and Wolverine now knew. The thought of why he didn't want to go back the institute, because he didn't want them knowing how horrible that experience had been for him and how humiliating it was that he'd been manipulated and used repeatedly and then just taken.
He lost track of the drink count, and lost count of the number of times he'd had to go to the bathroom. When he tried to order any more, the bartender refused him politely, and when Remy tried to create a fuss, he was escorted out by the manager, a guy nearly a foot taller with at least a hundred and fifty more pounds than he had. Remy wasn't in the position to put much of a struggle up when balance felt off and his judgement felt impaired.
As he fumbled to get the keys for his Harley out of his pocket, he dropped them into the nearby drain, and lamented as he heard them land in the slush of ice and snow under the bars.
They were the only keys to the bike he had. With a sigh he knelt down in the brown slush of snow at the side of the road and bent over to slide his hand into the the drain. The bars had been bent previously and he could just about get his wrist and forearm in. His finger skimmed against the dirty water and ice, and he winced at the thought of what may be down there. How many drunks had urinated into this water after walking out of the bar behind him?
"Come on..." he groaned, his head swimming, his body unsteady as he slipped forward and landed on his front, his arm sliding right down between the bars, his hand and wrist suddenly immersed in the ice cold stuff. "C'mon..."
"I always figured some day I'd find you lyin' in the gutter."
Remy turned his head awkwardly to see Logan standing over him. He gave a grunt. "Keys fell..." he winced, his stomach churning with the mixture of booze swimming about inside of him like a violent chemical experiment.
"I can tell just from the smell of you that you're wasted," Logan uttered, "you were gonna ride the bike in that condition? You tryin' to kill yourself, or someone else?"
"If Magneto had got in the way of my bike I wouldn't have felt too cut up 'bout runnin' the prick over," Remy slurred, his hand feeling around the water, he felt something sharp and winced, but finally his index finger hooked the ring on the keys and he tried to get up only to find that his elbow was stuck. "Got 'em..."
"So get up already," Logan waited impatiently.
"Stuck," Remy tried pulling on himself. How had he got his arm in there but couldn't get it back out again?
Logan bent down by the drain and extended a single adamantium claw. He gave it a hard slam against the bar, cutting through it like a hot knife through butter. Remy watched him pull on the bar, and finally felt his arm being released.
"Now get up..." Logan retracted the claw, then took a hold of him by the elbow and yanked him up roughly, "I smell blood..."
"Yeah...think somethin' cut me..." Remy noted as he raised his hand to examine it, that through the dirt that was all over his hand, there was bright red seeping out, it spilled and dripped into the dirty snow at his feet.
"Need to get that seen to, don't know what was in that drain, it could get infected. I got some antiseptic stuff in the car. Come on."
Remy staggered towards Logan's jeep, falling a couple of times helplessly into the snow and having to accept Logan pull him back to his feet. He hadn't thought he was quite this drunk, but it seemed quite hard to control his limbs, which felt weak and almost jelly like.
"Didn't you learn from the last time?" Logan asked as he opened the back of the car and had Remy sit at the open trunk as he opened a portable first aid box.
Remy stared down at his cut hand, fascinated with the amount of blood that was seeping out, "what last time?"
Logan snorted, "guess that answers that, then," he got a bottle of antiseptic, and instead of putting it onto a cloth, he simply poured it neat onto Remy's injured hand. Remy hissed in pain.
Remy, clenching his teeth, let Logan do the same again, to rinse off what he could of the dirt and blood to see the extent of the wound. "Jesus fucking christ," Remy hissed.
"You want to get septicaemia?" growled the man.
Would it be so bad to not care if that happened, Remy wondered. Right now, it didn't seem to matter.
"There's a piece of glass in your hand, looks like a bit of broken bottle or somethin'," Logan dug through the box of field medical equipment and retrieved a pair of plastic tweezers, "hold still..."
The thing was in deeper than either had realised, and it was pried out, blood gushed quickly from the open 'v' shaped wound like a red waterfall, mixing with the antiseptic and creating orangey-red rivers down each crease in his palm, it slid between his fingers and dripped into the snow, red droplets like lipstick on a corpse.
Another splash of antiseptic, this time Remy didn't feel it nearly so much though.
"Drinkin' solves nothin', you know," Logan admitted. "Believe me, I tried it, and the problems it fixed amounted to zero."
Sighing miserably, Remy just listened.
"I know you got problems, LeBeau. We all do. But throwin' yourself into a bar and drinkin' the entire collection of booze on their shelves isn't gonna make you feel better. Drink is a depressant. It only makes it worse."
Remy lifted his hand to examine the cut curiously in the light from the jeep hatch. Logan pulled his hand back and pressed a cotton dressing against it. "I just need to forget for one night. That's all," Remy sighed.
"And did you?" asked Logan pointedly.
Staring down at the dirty snowy tire tracks on the road, Remy sighed. He supposed he hadn't forgotten. It had only made him think harder about things, feel the hopelessness so much more.
Remy stared down as Logan wrapped a bandage tightly around the injured hand to keep the cotton in place. It was a considerably neat job, leaving Remy with no doubt that Logan had done this before. "What would you do?"
Logan raised his eyes to Remy's, "about?"
"I mean...in my place, if you were me...," Remy swallowed back what he felt almost might be the first wave of vomit. He hoped to god it was just the sight of all the blood that had caused it.
"We're not so different, LeBeau..." Logan looked back down to what he was doing, and placed a safety pin on the bandage to hold the end of the bandage in place. "We're both in the same boat. We've had a rotten run of it, we've had some pretty fucked up shit happen to us, stuff that's been out of our control. We've done what we had to survive, and moved on, and gone onto the next place..." he explained. "You go through life lookin' for answers, go through life lookin' for absolution..." he sighed and sat beside him on the edge of the trunk, "spend all your time runnin' from things and running towards things you can't ever touch..."
Remy breathed in and out trying to control his nausea. He wasn't sure Logan's words really helped.
"I'm more perceptive than you'd give me credit for, you know," Logan took a cigar out of his inside pocket and he lit it, then added, "I see you for what you are. Your poker face might convince every one else that you'll always win the hand you're dealt, but I see through it."
Snorting now, Remy uttered drunkenly, "do tell."
"Magneto gave you a chance and you took it. Not because it was a right place right time scenario, and not because you had nothin' better to do or nowhere better to go, but because you hoped that there was gonna be somethin' more behind it. Not the leadership – the leadership part was never part of the hand you wanted to play, that was just the joker card that happened to accidentally slip into the deck when you weren't looking. You joined Magneto because you're tryin' to make somethin' of yourself. You're not sure what you wanna be but you sure as hell know what you don't wanna be and that's what you've been runnin' from all this time..."
Remy sighed. How was it the man knew these things so well? "Magneto said he saw potential in me, that he thought I could do great things."
"You can," said Logan, "I can see it. You're fast, a quick thinker, quick learner and you adapt. Magneto wasn't wrong when he told you he had potential. You do. But it's what you choose to do with the potential that makes the difference."
Sighing again, Remy cradled his injured hand, staring down at the pristine white bandages. "Every time someone says I got potential, they promise to give me a chance...then that chance usually turns into me bein' used for what I can do...and bein' discarded...exiled...fired..." he snorted, "makes me wonder if I should choose to change my profession from thief and fighter to gigolo. I'd feel less cheap that way, at least," Remy uttered.
"Maybe you just need to let someone who ain't gonna use you give you the chance to live up to that potential, kid?" Logan exhaled a stream of smoke.
"No one has," Remy despaired drunkenly.
"What about the X-Men?" Logan shrugged.
"The X-Men don't want someone like me on the their team. I don't fit, it's apples and oranges, it's oil and water."
Logan grunted, "what about the Professor's offer that you stick around? You don't think that was a solid invitation right there? He's giving you a chance, he's throwing his hand out to you and sayin' take it, and you...you're just eager to get your foot out the door soon as you know what's what."
"I ain't the kind of guy the X-Men want to take a chance on, trust me," Remy shook his head. "In fact, you wouldn't trust me..." he reminded Logan.
Pausing, Logan gave a strange laugh, "truth is...you ain't gave me much reason to not. You upheld your part on a deal...you're still tryin' to do that. You've been nothin' but honest with me and Charles, far as I can tell...you've been sincere with Rogue, about your feelings for Rogue...and at the end of the day, you threw the money back in my face. That says a hell a lot about the kind of honour and morals you're startin' to stand for," he slapped Remy on the back, then got up, "Stick around, LeBeau. Stop trying to run and stay stationary long enough to see that there's more than just one avenue. Now come on, lets get Hank to check that hand out properly," Logan moved around the car to the passengers seat and opened the door. Remy got up and watched as the man gestured for him to get in. "You puke in this car, and you'll clean it up with a toothbrush. Be warned."
Sighing, Remy climbed into the car and hoped his nausea wouldn't last.
End of Part Forty-One
Ooooh I'm so excited as I get closer and closer to the end!
Well, hopefully a few more things make sense regarding some things. Hopefully. :)