MAGNETIC ATTRACTION
Part Forty-Two
For the next three days, Rogue took wise to Logan's words about her commitment to college and went, going as far as to ensure she had caught up with all her work for each class and hoping it was enough to keep her professors happy. Her exhaustion was phenomenal so much that she slept solidly for the next few nights, but with days spent working on her education, her evenings spent supervising a heavily sedated Wanda, and then her nights spent on homework, there was barely any energy left to stay awake.
She avoided contacting Remy LeBeau.
Somehow, following the strange events of Tuesday morning, it was impossible now to even attempt to contact the man. What was she supposed to say? The situation had been horrible and embarrassing. How was she supposed to play that off in a text message or a phone call? How was she supposed to ask how he was when eventually he would ask how she was and she'd know he'd mean did she still hurt.
Although the pain had begun to ease off considerably (still the occasional odd twinge of it), she didn't feel any better.
That Friday, after her final class, she headed to the library to do some research on a subject, and it was by coincidence that she found Kitty Pryde there among the bookshelves, looking tired and drawn.
Kitty was startled by her approach, her mind elsewhere it seemed, and Rogue realised at once what the problem was. She also realised at once that she shouldn't let on that she knew about it.
"Oh!" Kitty gasped, stepping back from Rogue and nearly spilling an armful of books.
Rogue forced herself to sound upbeat, and soft, despite she felt different anything but, "after school study session, huh?" she asked, she leaned against the nearby bookshelf, her backpack dangling from her fingers.
"Yeah, I..." Kitty selected a book from the shelf and examined the cover, she gave a sigh, "I...uhm...yeah, I fell behind a little."
"You did?" Rogue blinked. She didn't think this sounded quite like Kitty, who for the past year had been exceptionally up to date with all her school work. Rogue had always envied the girl for that.
Kitty took off towards a nearby table, and Rogue pushed herself away from the shelf to follow. Kitty sat down, dumping the pile of books on the table, she leaned back in the chair, never reaching out to open any of them.
"Something wrong?" Rogue asked, feigning her innocence even further.
"Give up, Rogue," Kitty threw a glance down to the oak laminate of the table, "I know you know."
"Ah...know what?" Rogue pretended to be ever more out of touch than she had. She hated the pretence.
"That Lance broke up with me...that he's been...doing it with Scarlet Witch."
Deflated, Rogue let go of her tension, she supposed her problems didn't compare for the moment being. She could see in Kitty's pretty sapphire eyes that the girl was devastated. There were little signs she wasn't herself, like the fact that her t-shirt seemed to be inside out, and that her hair wasn't as neat as it normally was. The puffiness around her eyes, the tell tale chewing of her fingernails.
Kitty sighed, "I just...I don't get it, everything was going so well...he was pushy but...I mean...we were having fun and stuff...I like...don't know why he couldn't have just waited a little longer..."
Rogue sighed too, "it's not all his fault. Wanda flaunts it...and offers it. Lance isn't the only guy there who was on the receiving end of her bullshit. There were others..."
Kitty raised her eyes curiously to Rogue, "Gambit?"
"They'd been screwin' for weeks before Ah even got there..." Rogue admitted. Be thankful that Lance at least made it out in tact, she added in thought, reluctant to give any further detail on that.
"I'm...sorry," said Kitty, "I know you liked him."
"Ah did...Ah do..." Rogue sighed, "it's all so..." she frowned, "it's all so goddamn complicated."
"How'd you mean?" Kitty asked, seeming almost glad to be in Rogue's company. Rogue thought it almost bizarre, as they often would come head to head and never see eye to eye.
"This...relationship thing, going further..." Rogue shrugged.
"I don't know," Kitty said, "I never did..." she chewed her lip thoughtfully, "I...wanted to. And I wanted it to be with Lance...but...he's so pushy...and every time he got that way, it just made it harder to want to...it felt bad timing every time. He couldn't give me time...you know?" she tried, she rolled her eyes at herself, "sorry...I...know you don't know exactly," she added, seeming quite embarrassed now.
Rogue spoke up somewhat hesitantly, "Ah...do."
Kitty blinked, "You...do?" she repeated.
"Yeah...me and Remy have been...you know, together in some ways..."
Curious, Kitty leaned closer, lowering her voice, "what ways?"
"You know...just ways," Rogue frowned, not wanting to be specific.
"Is Gambit pushy too?" Kitty asked, "'cause I always wondered, I mean, I keep hearing these rumours flying around about how he sleeps around and stuff..."
Rogue paused, "Actually he's not really that pushy...he's...adventurous...maybe, but not...pushy. He's sort of patient actually," Rogue admitted, "which for him must be...you know...torture."
"I bet," Kitty nodded.
Rogue sighed to herself. It seemed almost unfortunate, as she considered things that now, as she was growing ever closer to her evolution, that she felt less enthusiastic about sex with Remy LeBeau. One of the main reasons she'd wanted to go through with evolution was so that she could one day be sexually active, but now considering how sore that one act in the car had left her, she wasn't sure she ever wanted anyone touching her again.
Maybe Ah could live with just givin' handjobs and head, Rogue pondered. Remy had seemed to enjoy the first that night in her room, the latter, perhaps quite not as much judging by his strange reaction and his attempt to guide her after she'd been unable to perform the act properly. Maybe Ah should have watched some porn or somethin', looked at what the girls do...maybe Ah should have made a little more effort to understand what the hell he needed before Ah went ahead and ruined it.
Kitty broke her chain of thoughts by saying, "he's still at the institute, you know..."
Rogue swung her glance towards the girl.
"He doesn't say a whole lot but...he puts in some effort shovelling snow out of the drive and stuff, he's pitchin' in. At least he's not lazy or anything."
"No...Remy has a worth ethic," Rogue admitted, "he was always on the go at the warehouse, from the minute he woke up until like midnight, one in the mornin', always workin' at something. Rarely ever took proper breaks, hardly ever slept. Just always on the go."
"Are you serious about him?" Kitty asked carefully.
Rogue didn't even have to think about the answer, before she'd even considered the question she'd blurted out, "yes."
"That's kinda cool. I think he is about you, too, far as I can tell. He gets...you know, really miffed if I try to ask about you or...if anyone mentions your name he gets that strange look on his face..." Kitty shrugged. "He checks his phone constantly and always seems mad when there isn't anythin' in his messages. It's like he's waitin' for you to call him or something. I think he misses you, maybe."
Ah miss him too, but...god, Ah don't think Ah can talk to him right now. How am Ah supposed to tell him all this stuff that's goin' on in my head? How am Ah supposed to explain that even though it's been me that's been pushin' the physical stuff that Ah'm not sure Ah even want him touchin' me again. He'd be furious with me.
Rogue chewed the inside of her cheek thoughtfully then sighed, "Ah really miss him too but...Ah think we need a little space right now...that's all..."
"Okay..." Kitty nodded.
"Just...don't tell him you saw me...and don't mention me to him...or...anything," Rogue pleaded.
"Okay, if...that's what you want."
Ah don't know what Ah want right now, she thought unhappily. Although she definitely didn't know what she wanted any more, she was positive there was one thing she didn't want right now, and sex was definitely it.
Remy LeBeau had finally finished cleaning the last car in the garage. He was glad of the work, glad of something to do. Sitting around the institute waiting for news from the Warehouse was an excruciatingly boring business that had nearly driven him insane.
He'd been too close to walking out far too many times already, but with a task in hand, he was capable of at lest working and somehow blocking out his thoughts temporarily. He'd been checking his phone on and off for days but no texts or phone calls had come from Rogue, and he was beginning to fear that although she'd claimed they would be 'fine' after the incident in the car, that indeed, they were not going to be fine.
Just try and call her...try to get her to meet you so you can talk about this thing with her and figure out if she really does still want to be together. Or maybe she lied, maybe she just didn't want to tell me to my face that I'd gone to far, and that she didn't think it was gonna work out.
It was past seven pm, and Remy had just finished vaccuuming out the dirt on the floor of Logan's jeep when the garage door lifted, and the Professor's Rolls Royce slid into it's usual space, there was still snow on the roof, and on the windscreen.
Logan got out first, his expression dour as it always was whenever he returned home from that place. He moved to retrieve the Professor's folding wheelchair from the trunk and placed it out so the older man could get into it.
Remy looked between them anxiously as he tossed the duster he'd been using into the basin of cleaning supplies he'd been given that afternoon. Remy said nothing, but he could tell from the exhausted look on the Professor's face that it had been a long hard day of building the machine. He was almost afraid to ask how things were going.
Logan stepped towards his Jeep, noting the door was hanging open. "You...cleaned my car."
"Storm said if I wanted something to do all the cars could do with bein' vaccuumed..." Remy shrugged, "I was sittin' bored...needed something...you know...distracting," he glanced to the Professor, "you want me to do the Rolls...or-?" he asked, he was hoping for an interruption, for the Professor to explain to him what was going on.
"Not necessary, but thank you," said the Professor, wheeling towards the door, he gave a slight yawn. Remy noticed Logan hovering. Logan wanted to speak, the Professor was too tired to.
When the Professor had exited the room, Logan finally seemed to slightly relax. He leaned against the hood of his Jeep, other hand on his hip.
"It's done."
Remy blinked, "it's done...the machine is built?" he asked, he moved over, "does it work?"
"In theory," responded Logan with a grunt.
"Did Rogue-?"
"No...Rogue wasn't home. She hasn't been home all day, college then I guess she had plans afterwards. We actually thought she'd be here, but..."
"I ain't seen her," Remy shook his head. "So...will it be tonight?"
"Tomorrow," said Logan, sounding somewhat irritated. "There's a lot of control needed to make the machine work, settings that are needed to be input to make it function and those will take hours to programme in...so it'll be tomorrow," he explained. "Unless she changes her mind, of course. I spoke briefly to your Russian friend, he says Rogue has been distant. I'm hopin' that's a sign she's about to give up."
Remy could only hope so too.
"Understand," said Logan sternly, "that you have to make a decision soon, 'cause she wants you there with her when she goes into it."
"I can't..." Remy shook his head, "what happens when she comes out of there a different person? Not the same girl I fell for?"
"What happens if she goes through that thing and comes out cured and you're not there for her?" asked Logan carefully.
Remy had to wonder that too. Who would Rogue be the first to test her new control on if it did work? Piotr? Pietro? Would she go so far as to kiss someone she hardly knew just so that she could test her powers controllability? Remy winced at the thought of her kissing anyone else other than him. Of her touching anyone else.
"What happens if I am there and it goes wrong?" Remy asked, "what if her powers don't come out cured? How am I meant to pick up the pieces for her from that. I can barely pick up the pieces of my own fucked up life...I don't know how to make her feel better..." he groaned.
"She isn't gonna ask you to pick up the pieces. All she's asking is that you be there. That's it. What happens next is up to you to figure out once it has happened. There's no predicting exactly how you'll react...or what you'll say."
Remy sighed.
"You love her, don't you?"
"Would I have stayed here this long if I didn't?" Remy pointed out irritatedly.
Logan snorted, "maybe. Accordin' to you, you got nowhere better to be anyway. But hell, gotta admit, the fact you stayed this long is impressive. You got more commitment in you than I thought, kid."
Remy folded his arms and stared into space. "I don't know if I can do this."
"Sure you can. And if not, hell, you can always turn up blind drunk and forget about everything you do between then and the moment you pass out like you have the last few times," pointed out Logan with a smirk.
Smiling wanly, Remy sighed, "yeah...that'll go over real well with Rogue."
"Well, way you've been going lately, you'll get yelled at one way or the other. That's just her nature lately though," Logan shrugged. "If you like, I'll be there too...you won't have to stand through and watch it alone."
Remy drew his breath, "thanks for the offer but...I don't think I can do that. There's only so much I can take and watchin' the girl I love go through somethin' that might evolve her into somethin'...someone else...it'd be too hard to take."
"Pity. 'Cause impression I get is that if you don't show up, it might be what breaks the relationship once and for all."
Remy sighed, "not sure there's much of a relationship to break as it is."
Rogue was so cold her teeth were chattering. The radiator in her car was still on the blink, and unfortunately to prevent the windows from steaming up, she'd had to drive with the windows open. As she got out of the car once parking in the warehouse yard, she was almost positive the air outside was actually more clement than the air within her poor excuse for a car.
But what am Ah meant to do about that? Right now Ah can't afford to put it through a mechanic, and Ah'm not even remotely gonna ask anythin' of Lance ever again after the bullshit he pulled, she thought as she slammed her car door shut and locked it before heading inside.
The warehouse was warm inside at least, although things seemed unnaturally quiet. The television was on upstairs, it sounded to be like some kind of console racing game that was being played above, but the sound was relatively low. Rogue could only imagine it was either Pietro or Lance up there, and she decided to not go up to investigate.
As she took her snow-damp jacket off and hung it over the back of a nearby chair, she sighed deeply. Her talk with Kitty had only made her fret more over her issues with Remy, and she only felt guilty about it that she was thinking of her own selfish misery when Kitty had been dumped and cheated on simultaneously.
Rogue was about to cross the warehouse to go to the Kitchen to check for something to eat when the voice of Magneto stopped her.
"Rogue," he called to her, his voice dry, she heard the exhaustion there. "A word, if you please."
Here it comes, he's gonna ask me to go babysit his daughter. Ah was hopin' that for just one day Ah could avoid sittin' with her in that drugged up state, and that he'd let me be. But no. Ah'm gonna have to sit there all night probably and watch her sleep, Rogue thought angrily.
Rogue followed her boss to the office room. It was the first time she'd been invited in since the Monday when Professor Xavier had first visited and offered his help to build the evolution machine. As she stepped in, she saw the large metal contraption, the brushed steel sides gleamed, the control panel showed several blinking lights. Part of the control panel looked to be like the bottom half of a laptop adapted to fit right in. She saw the laptop screen at the top of the tall machine, tilted above her, showing random numbers next to a colourful depiction of what appeared to be a section of genetic code.
"Oh my god," Rogue whispered, she ran her fingers delicately across the brushed steel side panel, her mouth hanging open.
"Careful," said Magneto, he put his hand on her wrist and removed her hand from the machine, "it is an incredibly sensitive machine..."
"Is...is it done?" she asked hopefully, turning to look at him, his clear blue eyes were dull with exhaustion and yet a strange almost fervent look of excitement.
"It is done," said Magneto calmly, he moved across the room towards his desk.
"Right now? Are we doing this right now?" she queried. Her heart was suddenly pounding so hard in her chest that it hurt. It could be within hours...minutes even...of using the machine that she would be cured, that her problems would go away.
"There is still much to do. There is programming to be done, which will take hours. The evolution process will be completed tomorrow evening."
Rogue nodded, feeling aflutter and anxious. Tomorrow night. By this time tomorrow night...she could be cured. This nightmare of her poisonous skin would be a distant memory. She'd be normal. And yet, despite her excitement and joy...she could not find it in herself to smile.
"Are...you not pleased?" asked Magneto, he stood there, looming, seeming almost uncomfortable in his own office, which was now short of space due to this grand machine.
Rogue thought it a stupid question, but yet, it was she supposed, justified. She certainly hadn't indicated she was happy. "Ah...of course Ah am..." she moved around the machine, examining the cylindrical design, she could see where the hatch opened to allow entrance.
Magneto moved up beside her, and he pushed a button upon the nearby control panel; the hatch slid open, rolling around the machine perfectly, inside, the thing lit up a deep blue colour. Rogue felt the intense cold coming from within the thing.
"It has to be super cooled to avoid the overheating of the machine," explained Magneto, as they watched the cold air condensing against the hot room.
"It's...it's incredible," Rogue said, "Ah can't believe you built most of this in like...four days..."
"With Charles help, it was much faster to build than it would have been," he finally confessed.
Rogue turned to look at him, "thank you," she said softly. "Ah know you have somethin' to gain from this...Ah know it's for Wanda but..." she sighed, "You...don't know how much this all means to me...what it means for me."
Magneto gave a gentle nod, his eyes tired, "and what for you then, Rogue? What will you do...if the outcome is what you desire?"
Rogue pondered this. She had already decided she would go back to the X-Men, the loss of Remy had caused the team to fall apart, no one had interest in interacting any more, no one wanted to train, and no one was all that interested in picking up the building work any more since Remy wasn't there to encourage and instruct.
She couldn't be in a team with no team there.
"Ah'm gonna go home...to the institute," she answered softly, peering into the machine in wonder. "After that...Ah don't know."
"If the machine works as it is designed to," Magneto said carefully, his voice soft, and almost liquid-like, "you will be able to make love."
Rogue's stomach churned, and she turned to look at the man whom only weeks ago she had tried to throw herself at. Now, as he mentioned making love, she could only feel some vague inappropriateness about what she'd done. An inappropriateness that she had not felt at that time. She turned back to the machine and stared at it. This was true.
She would be able to make love. And being free of her powers would give her no excuse not to. She winced, thinking of the pain she still felt. How badly it had hurt, and he'd barely touched her. How bad would that feel. She'd seen the appendage on Remy LeBeau, when he was excited, he was well endowed enough that she realised, yes...it probably would hurt worse than what he'd done with his hand.
"And yet...you do not look pleased," Magneto turned her towards him.
"Ah am...believe me..."
"You are not going to back out now..." Magneto said, looking concerned.
"No...of course not..." Rogue drew her breath, she felt so queasy.
"But?" asked Magneto carefully.
"But...when Ah'm...able to..." she turned to stare at the machine again, and imagined all the promise it held. "There's gonna be things that...will be expected, you know?" she sighed. "Things that...Ah thought Ah was gonna be able to do that...Ah don't think Ah can do..." she winced at the thought of it. It seemed so horribly unfair and ironic that now, so close to her evolution she would realise she wasn't ready yet. And Remy would no doubt assume she would be ready, because of the constant emphasis she'd put on it, because of the promises she'd made that when she was able to touch him, they would do everything he wanted.
Ah'm gonna look like a fool, like Ah strung him along with promises.
Magneto turned her towards him and stroked her hair away from her face almost tenderly, "you see, Rogue? This...this doubt is why I turned you down weeks ago," he explained, "you are not ready. You may never be ready until you have conquered the demons in here," he placed his index finger against her forehead.
Rogue thought it odd he had a better understanding of her than he did his own daughter. She supposed though that it was easier to judge and weigh people up when they meant little to you. Rogue moved away from him, shivering with the cold spilling from the machine. It reminded her of how cold her car had been.
She sighed, "Ah don't know how to tell Remy..."
"You need not say a word to him."
Yes Ah do, Rogue reminded herself. Three words, three words Ah promised Ah would tell him when Ah could kiss him. And Ah meant it. And that's gonna be tomorrow. It has to be tomorrow.
"Ah need him here tomorrow..." Rogue stated coolly.
"Out of the question. He is exiled from this place, you know this."
"Ah know that, but it's a condition," Rogue stated, "Ah'm doin' this more for Wanda than Ah'm doin' it for myself, and you know that's true. Ah doubt Ah even want this right now...Ah don't know if Ah'm ready. But Ah made a promise and Ah won't break it. But this is my condition...Ah need him here...Ah need him to be the first person Ah touch...Ah'll be your test subject, Ah need him here to be mine."
Magneto sniffed, his expression thoughtful.
"He sacrificed a hell of a lot for you and you hurt him. You tossed him out after he threw himself into everythin' he did here to please you. You owe him this, you owe him the right to be here and share this with me."
Magneto seemed to lick his teeth, then he sneered a little, "after this...after the evolution process has been completed, you will both go. And this will be the end of our verbal contract. Everything between us, every promise we have made to each other will have been completed. You will not be tied here. And you will not be welcome again," Magneto warned.
What is he sayin'? Is he sayin' that if Remy is gonna be here, Ah'm exiled too? She thought in wonderment. It seemed an extreme reaction, but she supposed Remy had defiled his daughter and disobeyed and tried to undermine him.
Rogue slipped her glove off slowly and she reached her bare hand out to Magneto, she met his eyes steadily, and waited. He took her hand and clasped it tightly, the shake was firm. The deal was made.
Remy LeBeau stared at the milky soapy water in the bathtub, his knees peeking out wet and hairy, old scars from bad falls and trips over the years had left white dents and pink lumps. He raised the washcloth out of the water and wrung it as he glanced around the pristine marble tiles of the third floor west wing bathroom, they were green and black, gold detailing that set them off brilliantly. He had the feeling this bathroom was hardly ever used, as it was more pristine than most of the other rooms. No personal effects around, just the bare minimum of soaps and towels.
I suppose the students use the communal bathrooms down in the second floor, he thought. This one probably for instructors only, he realised. He supposed since he was neither, he shouldn't be here, but he'd always been one for never following the rules.
He sunk his head under the water and tried to drown out his thoughts. He couldn't get Rogue's evolution out of his head. It was going to happen. In twenty four hours everything would change, nothing would ever be the same. He could feel it in his bones that something horrible was coming. That was why he'd chosen to take the hottest bath he could possibly withstand, to try and soak that feeling out of his bones, release the tension that wouldn't seem to ease.
As he raised his head back out of the water, spitting out the taste of soap, he heard the buzzing of his phone as it vibrated against the tiles on the outside of the deep tub. He ran his hand quickly against the towel at his side, and picked the phone up warily, staring at the unknown number which now he'd associated with Rogue's phone.
He deeply sighed, reluctant to answer the call in spite of how much he wanted to answer and hear her voice. He closed his eyes, tried to calm himself as the thing buzzed persistently in his hand, and he answered, choosing to put the thing on hands free mode and setting it back aside.
"Remy?" came Rogue's voice, a hesitant almost whisper.
"Yeah," he responded, tired. She'd left it late to call, he glanced at the time on the phone, it showed it was nearly midnight. He supposed he'd left it pretty late to bathe, but he'd waited until the mansion was almost quiet and most had gone to bed so he could bathe in silence without listening to the dreadful music and arguing of teenagers.
"Ah..." Rogue began, "Ah...think we should talk."
Remy closed his eyes and sank a little deeper into the water, he squeezed the water out of the washcloth, listening to the dripping of it. He couldn't deny it had a certain soothing quality as it echoed on the tiles.
"Are you...in the tub?" Rogue asked, recognising the sound of the water from her end.
"Yeah," he answered softly, he breathed out slowly, "rough day of shovellin' snow and cleanin' cars. Cold got straight to my bones, tryin' to warm up."
"Oh," she responded, not seeming really to know what else to say to this.
"So...what we need to talk about? It's been near four days since I heard from you...figured maybe you was done with me..."
Rogue gave a sigh, "Oh, Remy, don't be that way..."
"What way?"
"Like a brat."
Remy opened his eyes to stare at the phone, "you told me we'd be fine...but you ain't called...so...clearly we're not."
"We are," she sighed, "and that's not why Ah called...Ah called because...Ah need to see you...tomorrow night."
Remy frowned at the water, "tomorrow night, huh?" he asked. "Think I may be busy."
"Please."
"How 'bout Sunday," he offered, "Or Monday. Sometime end of next week..." he slipped his hand into the water, the cut on his hand began to sting, some of the scabs had softened and begun to come away.
"No...it has to be tomorrow."
"What's with the urgency," he feigned a casual tone.
"Because Ah need you to be here...Remy, please, Ah need to see you...here...at the warehouse...tomorrow..."
"I'm banned, you know that."
"He'll let you in...just this once..."
"Rogue...I know the machine is finished. I know what's gonna happen. I know you ain't gonna change your mind..." he sighed, "what I don't know is why you wanna have me endure the agony of watchin' you sacrifice yourself to save someone else."
"Remy, Ah need you there...you know that. Ah can't do this without you. When Ah come out of the machine with my powers in check...you're the only one Ah want to touch."
Remy pushed at the softened scabs on the palm of his hand, the blood seeped out weakly, mixing with the water dripping from his fingers and spilling onto his silicone cast.
"What happens after...?" he sighed. "My agreein' to be there like that is a sacrifice, what I get out of it."
There was a long hesitation. He could tell she was considering things carefully. Trying to come with a reason why he would want to be there. Rogue responded, "we can be together...in any way you want."
Remy stared up at the ceiling. All I want is her to say she loves me, all she thinks I want is to fuck. I'm not even sure I want to go all the way even with Rogue right now, not after what happened with Wanda. Some things are still a little too close to the bone in regards to that and I don't want my first time with Rogue to be full of memories of what that cold-hearted bitch did to me.
With his heart sinking deep in his chest, he feigned an interested tone, "you're ready for that, huh?"
"Ah..." Rogue faltered, "yes...Ah...Ah want to be with you," she stammered nervously.
Jesus christ, he thought. After what happened on Tuesday mornin' there's no fucking way in hell she wants to be with me like that.
Remy knew it to be true from the pain he'd seen in her eyes to the way she'd stiffened in his arms when he'd hugged her. The way she even spoke right now, the nervous, insecure way, she didn't sound sure about this at all. Push her further, see how far she's willing to go for this. See just how desperate she is to have you there. See how much she's willing to sacrifice.
"So..." he forced himself to sound more intrigued, "you want me...fully...all the way...huh?"
Her voice was strained, "yes."
Liar liar, pants on fire, he singsonged in his head. "So," he licked his lips, "you're sayin' if I come and be there for you...then...what's in it for me is..."
"We'll...do it..." she said after a moment.
You know what this means, Remy. You know what she's saying with this promise. You hurt her, and you know she no longer thinks of sex the same way. The minute you broke her hymen, you put the fear of god into her about pain. You left an emotional scar she's gonna let you reopen and rip far worse.
Remy closed his eyes tightly.
Because she loves you.
He knew it to be truth at that moment. She couldn't say she loved him, because words hurt far more than actions even could to a girl who had only ever had words and never touches. She was nowhere near ready, not after Tuesday, not after that kind of mess up, not after the awkwardness following.
But she'd sacrifice herself anyway. In the name of love. Because she loved him, and because she wanted him there.
Don't go gettin' a Brazillian wax and your legs shaved yet, chere. I ain't gonna be rockin' your world tomorrow night, he thought at her.
"Will you be there?" she asked hopefully.
Remy heard the desperation in her voice. She needed him there. Why...he wasn't exactly sure. Why was his support so important when his blessing wasn't? He deeply sighed, "I'll...think 'bout it. It's all I can promise."
Rogue sounded disappointed as she responded with, "Okay..."
"Goodnight, chere," he murmured.
Hesitant, she seemed almost as if she wanted to say something else. Instead, she responded, "Night, Remy."
Remy ended the call and clenched his teeth. The next twenty four hours may be the hardest he would ever have to face.
End of Part Forty-Two
Not far to go now! Hope you're all as excited as I am that we got this far together! I can't believe it's already done, seriously. I've enjoyed writing this story so much that I'm almost sad to see it end. Love you all, enjoy the next part ;)