Sooo I've had this written and posted in other places for days and days but somehow I, err, forgot to post this chapter here on ! Oops :-/ (I blame it on their awful uploading policy, honestly...) But anyway, so all of my -only readers are getting two new chapters today, and I hope you enjoy! Thanks again to those who have stuck with this story for so long...I swear that I'm hoping to finish it sooner rather than later (of course, how many times have I said that now...haha)
When Sandor left her alone at the pools, Sansa stood there for several minutes, shivering and trying not to cry. Finally she splashed back through the water to the edge where her robe lay. There was a soft blanket beside it and she used that to dry herself off a bit before wrapping the thin silken robe about herself. The echoing silence of the pillared gardens that surrounded Sansa unnerved her, and she quickly drew her slippers over her feet and began making her way back to her room.
Only she took a wrong turn or two along the way, and soon enough she realized that she had no idea where she was. The Water Gardens was larger than she'd thought, and with a sigh of exasperation Sansa leaned out one of the wide openings, breathing in the night air and looking about, trying to get her bearings.
"My lady, what - "
Sansa gasped in fright and spun around, but once she realized it was only Ser Willem there behind her she sighed in relief. "Oh," she said, "it's only you. You frightened me...I wasn't sure..." She stopped, shook her head, and bit her lip. You are safe here, she reminded herself.
"My apologies, Lady Sansa. I didn't mean - "
She waved him off. "No need for apologies, Ser Willem. Truth be told I'm glad to see you...I seem to have lost my way and I've got no idea how to find my room. I don't suppose you would be able to show me where it is?" Sansa grimaced.
Ser Willem smiled down at her. "I'm not certain where your chambers are located, but I would love to be of service to you. Come." He held out his arm for her. Sansa was about to take it when she realized that he likely had been about his own business before she interrupted him.
"I fear it is my turn to apologize to you, Ser...I'm sure you have things to do, or you wouldn't be up so late yourself...I can find my own way back, if you think you can point me in the right direction."
The handsome young knight chuckled. "If I need not apologize to you, I surely don't need apologies from you. If I may be honest..."
"Please do," Sansa encouraged him. "So few people are."
"This is true. Then in the spirit of honesty, the reason I am wandering the halls at this time of night is because I could not sleep for thinking...for thinking of you."
Sansa had not expected such an admission. "Ser Willem, I - "
"You need not say anything, my lady. I know that I'm not worthy of you in any way. I simply...well, I admire you. Your strength, your courtesy, your beauty. I've never met a woman like you."
A woman. He thinks me a woman... That was somehow more flattering than anything else Ser Willem had said, though the realization that he thought her strong was wonderful as well. Yet his compliments also made her think of Sandor - why, she couldn't fathom - and just like that the moment was ruined for her.
"Lady Sansa? Are you...are you alright? You look..." Ser Willem paused, clearly unsure whether or not he should finish his observation. Sad, Sansa thought. I look sad...because I am sad...and I'm tired of being sad...
"I'll be fine, Ser Willem," she finally replied, forcing a smile. "It has simply been a very long and trying day."
"Which you handled quite admirably," he insisted. "Are you sure you wouldn't like me to escort you to your quarters? Two minds are usually better than one, and I'm sure we could find them soon."
"I actually think I'd like to find them on my own," Sansa admitted. "Now that my heart is no longer pounding in my chest from being so startled by your sudden appearance, I see that it's a beautiful night...and I would appreciate some time alone."
The young man must have understood that she was teasing him a bit, yet he took her request to be by herself at face value, for which Sansa was grateful. He bowed low and bid her good night, then turned to leave. Suddenly, however, he stopped and faced her again. "Lady Sansa...I...I wondered if...if perhaps..."
"Yes?" she pressed, her curiosity getting the better of her. Why has he suddenly become a stuttering mess?
"I...as I said...I know that I am below you in every way possible..." He stopped again, and Sansa raised her eyebrows. She couldn't recall ever before seeing a man so nervous - especially not an innocent one who seemed to have nothing to make him stammer as Ser Willem was doing just now. She reached out and gave his hand a reassuring squeeze.
"What would you have of me, Ser Willem?"
"A...if you would be willing...I mean to say, if you wouldn't mind it, should I..."
"Yes?" Sansa had a slight idea as to what he was about to ask, so when Ser Willem finally spat the words out - apparently so concerned with her response that he could not even look at her - she was more thoughtful than surprised.
"A kiss."
She found herself sizing him up. True, he was low-born - probably even more so than Sandor - but he was young. Loras Tyrell's age, possibly even younger. He had been kind to her, protective of her, and he was certainly handsome...and he liked her, perhaps even cared for her...which was more than she could say for a certainty in regards to Sandor, just now.
Sandor... He was the only man Sansa had ever kissed, and she suddenly found herself wondering what it would be like to experience such a thing with someone else. And why not Ser Willem? He was asking so courteously, after all, and she certainly wasn't averse to the idea...
"Yes," Sansa heard herself say. Then, a bit louder, "Yes, Ser Willem, you may kiss me. I...I would like to kiss you too, in fact."
His face lit up and he stepped closer to her. He seemed unsure of himself, which was somewhat endearing to Sansa...but also a bit strange. When she'd showed her willingness to Sandor, he certainly hadn't shown so much reserve...at least not at first, she mused, pursing her lips. But then Ser Willem was running his fingertips down her upper arms, cupping his hands around her elbows to pull her closer, and she told herself to stop thinking about Sandor, to just...be...in this moment. Sansa closed her eyes and tipped her face up toward Ser Willem's.
When he kissed her it was tender - certainly far more so than she was used to - and though his lips were soft and his touch gentle, he was rigid with what she could only assume was nervousness. She let him kiss her for several moments, but all that she could think about was Sandor...and the last time she'd felt his lips on hers.
As young and handsome and chivalrous as Ser Willem was, he was not the man she wanted. And he never will be, nor will any other man like him.
Sansa broke the kiss as gently as she could, but she could not hide the tears streaming down her cheeks. "Lady Sansa?" the knight said, his voice hoarse and full of concern.
"I..." She had to stop and wipe at her face with the sleeve of her robe. "I'm sorry, Ser Willem. I'm sorry."
And with that, she turned and fled from him, her slippered feet slapping against the tiled floor.
She had to find Sandor. She had to find him, find him and tell him...What? No words would suffice, she knew, but perhaps...perhaps she could take his hands in hers and simply ask him to kiss her. Even if it was just one last time, she had to feel his lips on hers. Surely he would understand that, would be willing to give her that small bit of closure.
Though she didn't quite know where Sandor's chamber was located, somehow Sansa found her way there. The door had been flung wide open and Sandor hadn't shut it behind him - not that Sansa knew it was him, at first. She almost ran right by the room, but the sounds of someone throwing things about made her stop and take a step back.
And there he was, standing amidst the mess of his things. It took her a moment to understand what he was doing - that he was packing.
That he was leaving.
"Sandor?" Her voice was strangled, and she didn't even try to hide how shocked and distressed she was at the thought that he would leave her like this - in the dead of night, without even a goodbye.
He slowly turned to face her, and when she looked into his eyes Sansa knew that he was angrier than she'd seen him in a very, very long time.