Soooo I thought I'd been uploading these chapters to and updating this on here, and I guess it completely slipped my mind! I'm so very sorry, but if you've only been reading this story here...well, at least you get a whole bunch of new chapters at once? ;)
She was torn about this latest of news, and confused as well. Truth be told, Sansa had thought about leaving this place at least once a day in recent weeks. She knew that leaving here would likely mean having more time with Sandor - that Ser Willem would not be constantly watching them anymore, at least - and she could not deny that she desired that change.
But the beauty and safety of the Water Gardens had grown on her, and now that their departure was imminent Sansa understood that she'd never truly wanted to have to leave. Did I somehow bring this upon us? she wondered at first - but no, she couldn't have. She may have thought about their having to leave, may have even desired it in certain moments of frustration at being constantly watched, unable to spend proper time with Sandor...but she'd never outright asked for it, never prayed for it...not that praying would matter much. She was too far removed from the old gods, having not visited a godswood since King's Landing, and Sansa had long ago learned that the Seven were not the gods of the Starks - they were not her gods.
Sansa let Sandor lead her back to Ser Willem. They found him near the kitchens, and the three of them requested that food and wine be brought to her chambers before heading there themselves. The two men took a seat while she read Prince Doran's note, but it gave her no more information than she'd already gleaned from the young knight and her lover. So she found parchment and pen and wrote a reply asking when they would have to leave, and whether the Prince had any suggestions regarding where they could go. Her maidservant agreed to deliver it to the man who kept the Water Gardens' ravens, and then Sansa was once again alone with Sandor and Ser Willem.
"There are many places you could hide, in Dorne," the handsome young knight reminded her. "Perhaps we could even return to Wyl..."
"No," Sansa insisted. "that is too close to Highgarden, and I wore out my welcome by visiting there in the first place. I will not bring danger upon any family of Dorne unless they are willing to receive it, and unless I have no other choice."
"You are most gracious, Lady Sansa, but Lord Wyl - "
"No," she insisted. "He has done what he could, and besides, it is time you returned home. I have kept you too long, and Sandor is more than capable of guarding me on his own."
It was clear that Ser Willem didn't like this suggestion, but Sansa would brook no argument. "I will go North, or I will leave Westeros. There is nothing else for it. Perhaps someday..." She trailed off, knowing that as much as she wanted to return to her true home, doing so might not ever be possible. "Go home, Ser Willem. Serve your lord, and perhaps someday I will have need of you again...should that day come, I promise that I will send for you. You are a good man, a good knight. You are brave and true, and it is likely that I will need men like you by my side...but now is not that time. The more people who travel with me, the more risk we run of being discovered." Of course she knew that Sandor was far more recognizable than Ser Willem, but she pushed that thought to the back of her mind and hoped that the young knight wouldn't remind her of it.
"My lady," Ser Willem acquiesced, giving a curt bow before excusing himself. Sansa nearly sighed in relief - it took everything in her to not do so. Finally she and Sandor were alone again, and she moved to shut the door to her chambers before anything else could interrupt them.
"We have exhausted all options. I cannot return to Winterfell, and I would never presume myself upon any other lord here in Dorne. What do we do now?" she mused, pacing back and forth across the floor in her concern.
"Take to the sea?" Sandor suggested quietly, after a long pause. Sansa caught his eye, clenching her jaw in frustration.
"That truly is all that's left to us, isn't it?" she asked hesitantly. He shrugged, then nodded.
"I'm certain that Doran Martell could find somewhere for us to be housed - "
"Yes, he could," she quickly agreed. "But I would want it to be by mine own terms, and I'm not certain that he will agree with them."
Sandor withdrew from her. "What are your terms?" he asked carefully.
"Before we leave this place, I must have my marriage to Tyrion annulled. I will not continue with that farce." Sansa wanted to say more, but she waited for Sandor to push for it.
"And once your marriage is annulled, if that is at all possible?"
"Then I must either leave this place with an escort. It is likely that Prince Doran will want me to have more than one guard, as well as a lady - or several ladies - in waiting, or a husband of mine own choosing." Sansa was firm in this, and when Sandor's eyes met hers she refused to look away.
"Little bird - "
"No," she insisted. "You can travel with me as my sworn shield, or as my husband. If you want me - truly want me - it should be the latter. Do you not agree? Are you not tired of playing these games, of hoping that no one notices that we are more than just a young Lady and her protector? I love you, Sandor, and you claim to feel the same way - is that not enough? With you as my husband I am no threat to anyone. I can return to the North - to Winterfell - years hence, when it is safe. And it will be safe, someday, if the rumors of this Targaryen woman and her dragons are true. With you by my side - "
"With me by your side? As your husband? Sansa, you aren't thinking clearly - "
"I have mentioned this before. Of course I'm thinking clearly! If you do not want me for your wife - "
"Don't say that." Sandor's tone was cold. "If I could have you - "
"But you can. Isn't that enough?" Sansa insisted. She was tired of interrupting him, tired of him interrupting her. "Prince Doran needs us to leave, but if we leave together, it must be as husband and wife. Otherwise he will send others with us - Ser Willem, perhaps. Do you want that, truly? To spend the rest of our days together - how few or how many we have left - hiding our...relationship?"
Please don't say yes, she thought. I'm not sure I could bear it...
"Of course not," he finally replied. Sansa couldn't help but heave a sigh of relief. She stepped toward him and slid herself onto his lap, burying her face in his neck.
"I will await the Prince's reply, and as soon as it arrives I will ask after the septon and silent sisters, and see what can be done about proving my maidenhead and annulling my marriage. Prince Doran knows that I was wed to Tyrion under duress; surely he will agree that I must be freed from such a tie."
"He may not. And I can't imagine that he will agree to your marrying a man such as myself."
"Have faith, my love. That's all I am asking of you for now." She tried to keep from pleading, knowing that Sandor wouldn't want that from her.
"And I'm asking that you be realistic," he grumbled.
"I am doing my best," Sansa insisted. "There is quite a bit of logic to my...plan."
"You and I will have to agree to disagree on that point, little bird."
Sansa was about to continue arguing her point, but instead clenched her jaw and kept her mouth closed. We have disagreed before, she reminded herself. "I suppose we will. And besides, one good thing has come of this news."
Sandor narrowed his eyes in something like suspicion. "And what's that?"
"Ser Willem has finally left us alone," Sansa pointed out, making herself smile and think of the good things that could come of their current situation.
"So he did," Sandor growled, the burnt corner of his mouth twitching - though Sansa was sure that just now it wasn't in anger as it so often used to be. He reached out and took hold of her arms, pulling her toward him. Even if she had wanted to resist, Sansa felt that she probably wouldn't have been able to do so - she could feel his strength, his need, and his desire as he covered her mouth with his own, and she yielded to him without a second thought.