THANKS SO MUCH EVERYONE FOR LAST CHAPTER REVIEWS! *squee* Though I have horrendous typos I need to go back and fix in it. As per last time, I moved the rest of the story notes to the end of this chapter so you can ponder them after reading.
Love you guys! seriously.
I'm not sure how I ended up in makeshift jogging clothes at Gerald's house at 3:30 in the morning on a Saturday, but I did. He was going to regret telling me where they kept the spare key.
"What the-? Arnold, man, what're you doing in my house? What time is it?" he mumbled, bolting up and peering around groggily.
"Oh you know, just 3:30 in the morning. Great time to go jogging. You wanna go jogging? Yeah ya do!" I chirped in a chipper tone, throwing some clothes over at him that were in a stack on the floor. I didn't know if they were clean, nor did I really care.
"Arnold, I don't understand…" he mumbled, rubbing his eyes with the palm of his hands.
"What's not to understand? It's 3:30 in the morning, I think I may have feelings for Helga, I want to go jogging. Is the donut shop open at 3:30?" I was babbling, bouncing on the balls of my feet. I needed to be moving. Move move move move. On the move here.
"What was that middle part?" he inquired, suddenly snapping to attention.
"Jogging?"
"The other part…."
"Oh. Oh yeah. Yeah, see, the thing is…I think I have feeling for Helga," I chirped in my sing song voice, rummaging through the trophies on his shelf. "Yep. Go figure right?" I turned to give him a large smile.
It must have been frightening. He responded with complete seriousness, "Let me get dressed…"
Thirty minutes later and we were attempting to keep some sort of running pace as we went around the block. Neither of us had ever been avid joggers, but I needed something to tire me out. I hadn't slept at all since getting back home.
"What happened?" Gerald panted as we paused outside of the boarding house, gasping. I sank down to the steps, all my previous chipperness having evaporated with my sweat.
"I flipped your stupid coin," I snapped as I covered my face with hands. Stupid invisible coin. Stupid piano. Stupid dance.
"I thought you'd be happier about this," Gerald responded, sitting down heavily beside me. "You finally made the decision."
"Oh, you think I'm happy? You think I'm okay with this!?" I retorted darkly. "I am NOT okay with this. This…this thing is not okay!"
"Arnold, man, just chill out. You've worked it out, haven't you? So just tell Lila…"
"And tell her what? Sorry Lila, I know I've been buzzing around you for months and you finally started to return feelings of interest. But hey, I've changed my mind. I like someone else!" I spun around to now address my imaginary Helga. "Oh hey Helga! It's a possibility that I have may have feelings outside the parameter of our friendship. Oh, what's that? You and David, you say? You mean the guy I deliberately asked you if had feelings for and you never denied it? Oh. Oh that guy!" I turned to glare at Gerald with the intent to kill, which he attempted to thwart with an apologetic smile.
"Oh, yeah. I shouldn't have said that yesterday…" he admitted, shrugging helplessly.
"You know what, all this help of yours put me here!" I accused, crossing my arms over my chest as I leaned back against the stairs, frowning. It was his stupid coin theory.
"I want you to think about who got out of bed at 3:30 this morning to go jogging with you because you were having issues," he snapped back, frowning at me.
I sighed heavily, pinching the bridge of my nose between my fingers. "I'm sorry Gerald, you're right. It's just…I thought this would solve my dilemma, but it only makes this more complicated. I still don't want to hurt Lila. I also don't want to bring this up to Helga only to have her shoot me down, and then I just end up without either one." I scuffed my shoe against the concrete. "So, got any more bright ideas?"
"Maybe you should turn over a new leaf all together. Try out the homosexual lifestyle!"
"…..I hate you, did you know that? Sometimes I reaaally do." Gerald ignored my statement, considering he was too busy laughing hysterically. "I'm going inside," I grumbled, pushing myself up and heading inside the boarding house. "If you can calm down long enough to come in, you're welcome to it."
"Oh lighten up," he responded, following me up to my room. I sighed, falling down on my bed heavily. I waited as he made a beeline for the closet, digging out the pillow and sleeping bag he always used. He spread them out on the floor, falling down onto it heavily as I had.
"So, how was the prom?" I asked cautiously, drumming my fingers on my stomach. I knew he'd sent me a few messages throughout the night, but I'd honestly been too distracted to focus on any of them properly.
"It was fun," he replied, and I glanced over to see him looking pretty pleased with himself. "I mean, it would have been great if you had come along. Phoebe looked just…just wow!"
"So I heard," I replied with a laugh. This branch if the conversation was much less complicated to ponder through, and before too long we found our exhaustion catching up to us. I slept like a rock and don't remember if I dreamt or not, though I'm sure if I did, it would have been of the dance.
I awoke to the sound of rain beating mercilessly against the glass panes of my ceiling, and I couldn't suppress a groan as I rolled over to hide my face in the pillow. I wondered if this was some ominous sign that I was in too deep in this entire situation. I took in one last shuddering breath before sitting up, swinging my legs off the edge of my bed. I am certainly no longer a regular jogger, and my legs reminded me of this with the soreness that shot through them unceremoniously.
I took in a sharp intake of breath, falling back on the bed with a groan. Maybe I should just crawl back into the bed and hide from the rest of the world. I didn't know what to do with myself anyway. If I slid back under the covers and hid for the next week, I could just wait out my dilemma.
But of course, I had still promised to take on the list of chores today, and that was something I wouldn't back out of – date or no date. I knew grandpa had been counting on me to do them, and I figured the extra money would come in handy either way.
"Hey, I'm going downstairs. Feel free to come down whenever, or just let yourself out," I said with a half yawn as I nudged Gerald with my foot. He mumbled an inaudible reply, rolling over to bury his face farther down into the pillows. I shook my head, pulling my rattiest pair of jeans from the closest along with an old paint stained t-shirt I had used on various occasions…for painting, of course. I shrugged out of my gym clothes and quickly slipped into my work clothes, figuring I'd take a shower later. I was already dirty. No point in getting clean to just to walk into a dusty closet and get dirty all over again.
And so, I proceeded downstairs to perform the chores on my list. Gerald stuck around to help do a few, but slipped out when the rain was slack enough for him to not drown himself in the run home. We'd worked on the cracks in the shower, replaced a broken window, vacuumed and dusted the living area, plus tried to not get electrocuted as we worked on some of the lights in some of the empty rooms. So now all that was left on my list for me to complete for today (that I could- can't very well do anything outside in the weather) was to tackle the task of cleaning up my own bedroom. I trudged up the stairs, my legs feeling ten times heavier than they had earlier. A hot shower was definitely the next thing to do after I finished all my cleaning.
It didn't take long to make progress on my room, considering I'd washed all my clothes yesterday. I changed the sheets, vacuumed, and completed a few other mundane tasks before sitting down on the sofa to fold my laundry. I was about halfway through my folding when a violent knock came on the door. It burst open before I could even open my mouth.
"Come in?" I said, my voice hesitant as I shrunk under the piercing gaze Helga threw at me. The brief rush I had had upon seeing her morphed into worry. She was soaking wet from the rain, her hair plastered in a disheveled mess around her flushed face. I assumed she had been running, but I wasn't positive.
"I bet you think you're clever, don't you?" she said in a measured voice, slamming the door behind her.
"Well, on occasion I like to think I can be," I babbled, pulling the shirt in my hands close to my chest as though it were a shield. I had a weird feeling that something was wrong, though I couldn't pinpoint what it might be yet.
"Shut up, that was rhetorical!" Helga snapped in a harsher voice this time, her fist clenching at her sides tightly. Water was dripping down to make a small puddle on my carpet, but even I knew it was a bad time to bring up the spot. I kneaded the shirt in my fingers.
"I'm sorry, I don't-"
"Oh you don't know. You don't know," she interrupted with a loud voice, and by this point her fists were starting to tremble under the strain.
"Helga, sit down. Calm down and tell me what's wrong. And….and I've got something to tell you as well," I admitted, standing up and clearing a space on the couch. Might as well do this now.
I don't know what I was expecting, honestly, but it was not a slap across the face. And not one with enough force to make me stumble back onto the couch.
"What was that for?" I asked in utter confusion, bringing my hand to my cheek. It stung like I'd been hit by someone twice her size.
"So now you're going to tell me, huh? Well how about this, I already know!" she snarled, her voice now sounding a bit hysterical. Either I was crazy, or she was starting to cry. Was it that bad? Was she that repulsed by me that the thought of me having feelings for her made her want to hit me?
"How? Who said anything?" I asked, still gingerly rubbing my throbbing cheek. I hadn't told anyone but Gerald, and he wouldn't tell.
"That's all you're going to say about it? 'Who said anything?' The real question here is why you weren't the one to tell me!" She jabbed her finger so close to my face, I went cross eyed for a minute trying to focus.
"I was going to! In fact, I was just about to!"
"Well I had to hear it through the grapevine, so to speak. How's that supposed to make me feel? And I honestly believed you might- ugh! Nonetheless, I heard it from Rhonda this morning."
"How would Rhonda know?" I wailed, suddenly thinking that maybe we weren't on the same page after all. "I don't think we're talking about the same thing here!"
"What we're talking about is the fact you lied to me! You said you weren't going to abandon me after you got this date with Lila. And what do you go and do? You schedule your damn date on the date of my show, knowing I was reserving a seat for you! Knowing I was expecting you to be there! Knowing how…how important this is for me!" She was definitely crying by this point. I wanted to just sink into the couch I felt so awful. Not to mention she had it all wrong. I started to open my mouth to protest, but she plowed on. "And then I overhear it from Rhonda this morning as she and Lila were talking about it. I almost didn't believe them, thinking I had misheard the date. But no, I walked over and asked her. Of all the days you could have picked. Or maybe if you had even been the one to tell me. What, was it funny to you? Were you just not going to show up? Was it going to be some joke? Oh, like Helga thought I'd seriously want to see her after all of this!" There was more tears on her face now than raindrops, her eyes starting to look puffy. She took in a shaky breath, rubbing her hand over nose. "Whatever."
"It's not like that, okay?" I retorted sharply, shaking my head furiously. I wanted so badly to wipe the tears away and make this okay.
"Well how about we break it down, okay? When did you know about the date?"
"Wednesday," I said slowly, cocking my head in confusion.
"And I texted you Thursday to tell you I was reserving your ticket," she pressed.
"You did, yes."
"And at that point did you know you had scheduled the date on the same day?"
"I just-"
"Answer me!"
"Yes," I said lamely, and as soon as the word left my mouth I wanted to take it back. Her face fell as though I had physically hit her.
"So you did know." It was soft and full of more pain than I had ever heard from her. It was at that moment I realized a little too late that she was wanting for me to say I hadn't known. That I really didn't know I had scheduled them on the same day. That it was a lie.
"No, just let me explain!" I said, nervously brushing the hair back from where it had fallen in my face. But how was I going to explain? This was not the ideal situation for telling someone you have feelings or them. "I just –look, I thought I might be able to go to both."
"Have both? You wanted to have both?" She laughed incredulously. "Seriously Arnold? That is the most…. You haven't outgrown that?"
"Outgrown it? What do you mean?" I asked back, frowning.
"Forget it. Well you don't get to have both. You wanted Lila, so you get Lila. Don't you so much as dare to set in foot anywhere near me on Friday. Or, ya know, any other day for that matter. Just leave me alone!" She stomped her foot angrily, making a shower of raindrops fall from the tips of her hair and her clothes.
"Why won't you listen to me?" I pleaded, begging her to look at me as she turned away from me. I could take harsh words fine, but I could not take her ignoring me. I would not let her cut me out like this.
"There is nothing left for you to say! I knew this was going to happen! I knew it! What did I tell you?"
"Calm down, please," I said, trying to keep my voice gentle. I still held the shirt in hand, and I hesitantly took a step forward to dab at the tears on her face. I was afraid she was going to pull away, but she stayed still.
" I didn't want to get attached, I didn't want to….to feel this way about you again!" For a moment we both froze, and she looked mortified that she had said such a thing.
"Helga, I told you I wasn't going to leave you. I meant that and….wait, again?" I paused, the heat in my cheeks suddenly for a reason other than the pain of being hit. "Why didn't you-?" I began, reaching out to take her hand.
She jerked away from me immediately now, fumbling to open the door. "Whatever. Go enjoy your date with Lila. I didn't need you anyway." She slammed the door behind her, but I could still hear her steps as she ran down the stairs and down the hall.
She liked me.
I originally had planned for this chapter to go on much longer, and there was a complete other scene that was going to happen. But I feel like this was a better place to end on than to brush over it. So I'll move it over.
I figured I'd also throw in some song suggestions, though these aren't used in this chapter in a literal sense. They're simply ones I listened to as I wrote.
So some inspiration pieces are "Animal" by Neon Trees and "Just a Feeling" Maroon 5