7 o'clock at night. Bandit and I were watching TV; of course nothing I'd watch alone. Bandit loved this show. I didn't know the name of the show but, every time it came on, Bandit would tell me to stop. She knew the name of the show too. It was a show that was normal for kids. They'd go on an adventure and then sing and always win the battle. If there wasn't a battle they'd find what they were looking for and be happy. Only if real life was like that, right? We all win the fight and are almost never sad. But, life isn't a TV show as they say, and we all know that.
"Bandit, you got to go to bed soon." I told her. She was zoned out on the TV; almost like she didn't even hear me. Bandit was on the floor watching it in front of me. It was 7:30 but, I liked her in bed at 8 o'clock.
I let her sit there while I grabbed a drink. Diet Coke was my favorite and I always had it at night. The show was off by now and B got up. She jumped a little at the sight of me. I turned the TV off and she was finally back into the real world; not the TV unrealistic one.
"It's time to go to bed, B." She frowned at me. Rubbing her eyes she told me "But, I'm not tired." Obviously denying the fact she was. Sipping my coke I went and stood by her. "Come on baby girl, you have school tomorrow. You got to get some good sleep to be awake for school." She yawned and put her arms up to be held. I picked her up and she rested her head into me; laying her on her bed and tucking her in. "Daddy?" she asked me as I was about to leave the room. "Yes B?"
"Can you sing to me?" I stared at her for a second. She'd never ask for me to do that before; I never really talked about the band. "Um, sure B, what do you want me to sing?"
Closing her eyes into her pillow she started talking "The song, Mommy played to me."
"Mommy's played songs for you?" I asked her, curious. Lindsey had never told me this. "The one where it says goodnight at the end, you're singing it Daddy."
Lindsey must have played her 'Helena' one time when I was out. She wanted me to sing it. So I did.
"What's the worst thing I can say, things are better if I stay; so long and goodnight, so long and goodnight."
Bandit's eyes were closed and her breathing was harder. My voice made her fall asleep quickly, or so I thought. I tip-toed to her light and turned it off. Shutting the door half closed and whispering "I love you B, Goodnight."
And without a second of walking I hear a tiny voice come from behind me.
"Love you too."
I sat in bed in just my boxers with the lights on. The lights in this room where so dull for some reason, I never got it fixed. Lindsey and I slept in here. It was the 'master bedroom'. It was made for us. Lyn's and I made it colorful. We made the wall a spatter paint painting. It was so beautiful, to me and her. We've kept it.
Sitting in our room just staring at old memories knowing new ones would come I just didn't know if the new ones would be good or not. We never know if it's going to be good or not. All we know is there will always be them.
It was 11 o'clock at night. Finally, I was getting tired. I got up and turned off the light. Getting back to bed and grabbing a pillow to cuddle. Usually I'd just cuddle Lyn's, and spoon her. Or I'd wrap my arms around her and I'd know she was there and she was safe; mine. I laid there with my eyes closed for quite some time hoping I'd just fall asleep, with no worry, regret, and depression, just nothing. It'd be great. Tossing and turning didn't help any, but I wasn't one for getting comfy quick without holding my wife in my arms. Slowly but surely, I finally found a good spot and was almost asleep; until something comes out of nowhere.
"Daddy…" I almost jumped. "FU-!" I bit my tongue so I didn't cuss in front of my daughter. I rubbed my eyes and looked at the clock. It was 12:39. "Yes B?" I asked her with almost a sore throat sound to it.
"I can't sleep…" She told me rubbing her eyes. "The monsters are going to get me!" There was almost a scratchiness in here tone. "No monsters are going to hurt you, dear. I promise."
She shook her head "I'm afraid…Can I sleep with you?" Thinking about her question for a second I decided that she could. "Okay, pumpkin. But, let's not make this a daily thing okay?"
"Okay Daddy…" She ran off back into her room only to come back with her blanket and stuffed unicorn her Uncle Mikey had given her. She's slept with it ever since. I helped her up onto the bed and she cuddled up into Lindsey's spot. I rolled over on the other side and let my hand fall off the bed.
"Daddy…When is Mommy coming back home?" She asked very quite. "She'll be back here soon B." She nodded and looked like she was out cold. Looking down at my baby girl sleeping was cute. I realized this was a good memory; a good one, I'd keep.