Chapter Three: Promise of compromise

It would go to figure that Ursa would come for a visit anyway instead of postponing because Azula had visited the capital. She brought Iroh with her too, joy of all joys. Ursa was surprised by Katara's presence, but Iroh seemed pleased. He asked after the blind earthbender, Toph Bei Fong, and they carried on a long, pleasant conversation that set Azula's teeth on edge. At least it saved her from having to exchange words with him.

"I think we should see the new Ember Island production," Ursa proclaimed over a late lunch. Iroh hesitated, and Azula dared think she had an ally in him. Then he replied, "That sounds lovely, Ursa."

"You would say that," Azula accused sharply, "since you're sleeping with her."

Katara gasped, and Ursa's expression shifted from surprise to anger—as if for a minute Azula wouldn't know they shared a suite now. Iroh, however, gave a great laugh. "You will learn with time, Azula, that sometimes it's best just to go along with those you love."

She wanted to finish his statement with: 'Or be nagged to death?' but she didn't dare with Ursa glowering at her like that.

Perhaps because of Iroh's reaction, Ursa didn't actually scold Azula for her accusation. Maybe she knew Azula's attendance that night was punishment enough. Iroh also insisted Katara attend; Azula wasn't sure what to feel about that. All four of them were bound for the theater that evening despite figurative heel dragging on Azula's part.

Given the stage props and laughably illustrated play poster, entertainment would be a long time coming. What was her mother thinking, wanting to attend the theater here of all places? Capital City's finest plays were bad enough, and they were considered high quality.

Once upon a time, the Ember Island Players had been the Royal Productions. It was a highly prestigious acting company that had traveled the lands of the Fire Nation. When here on Ember Island, the director of the troupe discovered the affair between his wife and an actor. He had left this island with half of the funding, actors, props, and all of the troupe's reputation. And so the oh so cleverly renamed Ember Island Players was formed. It had never recovered from its ill beginnings, but the ill beginnings were likely why it was still around. Nobles adored a good scandal, even a century after the fact.

When they stepped into the box, Azula motioned for Iroh and Ursa to take the front row. Ursa smiled at her polite gesture; apparently she hadn't realized that it would be easier for Azula to sleep away the evening in the back of the box. Katara sat down next to Azula and rolled her eyes at the play leaflet in her hands. Azula would have thought she'd be impressed by the theater. She was pleasantly surprised when Katara muttered, "This is going to be awful."

It was enough to coax Azula to say, "I wasn't aware you knew of the absurdity of this acting troupe."

Katara glanced at her; her expression thawed a little. "I saw The Boy in the Iceberg. It was horrible. They didn't even put Zuko's scar on the right side of his face. And Toph was played by a man."

Azula allowed herself a laugh as she pictured it. "Imagine that, I would have actually enjoyed it."

"Probably not since you were in it," Katara muttered. She hesitated, then continued, "Anyway, when you—your actress, I mean—killed Zuko, his dying shout was 'Honor!'"

Azula couldn't stop her laugh. She asked, "When was this put on?"

Before Katara could answer, Ursa turned around and hushed them both sharply. Azula rolled her eyes at the back of Ursa's head. The lights fell and the curtains opened.

As the play progressed, Azula amused herself by watching the audience below. The man down in the front corner seemed happy to pick his nose in public, and a couple in the shadows near the side balcony was definitely engaged in illicit activities. There was a woman crying down in center but her husband was sound asleep next to her. He had the right idea.

At least it was dark enough that Azula could lean her head back and doze. She's finally dropped off to an off-tune variant of the national anthem when Katara elbowed her sharply. Azula jerked out of a bizarre, song-filled dream and woke with a snarl.

"If I can't sleep, you can't sleep." Katara whispered behind her hand. She explained, "They're singing now."

Azula was distracted from her outrage by the performance. "Is that singing? I was dreaming about komodo rhinos rutting."

"Ew! Why would you—" Katara shook her head. "Nevermind. Do you think if I iced up the stage they'd quit?"

"At least I would be entertained."

"Girls!" Ursa turned around and shot them both angry looks. "Be. Quiet."

Katara's eyes went wide at Ursa's glare, but she shared a conspiratorial look with Azula when Ursa turned back around. Azula realized what had just happened: they'd talked like two people who didn't consider each other enemies. Katara seemed to realize it too because she quickly turned away and said nothing else to Azula.

The second time Azula woke up, it was by Ursa's pamphlet smacking her on the face after the end of the play. "I should have known," her mother muttered darkly. "You and your brother are exactly alike. No appreciation for the arts."

When they arrived home, it was still early enough that her nightly walk was feasible. Azula changed into loose trousers and a sleeveless tunic and walked down to the beach barefoot. She was surprised to see Iroh waiting for her and consigned herself to the interaction.

"How are you, Azula?"

How mundane. "Fine, I'm sure."

"May I walk with you?"

What would he do if she actually said no? Azula considered it for a moment before she shrugged. Iroh smiled and walked alongside her, his outline dark against the inky ocean waves. "How is it working out with Katara?" He hesitated. "I notice your faces are bruised."

"We fought. It was the most fun I've had in months."

She sneered at him, prepared to hear his condemnation of their violence. To her surprise, Iroh chuckled. "I can understand that. Peace can get quite…boring."

"I'm shocked you say that, old man."

"I'm a firebender. Of course I enjoy a few good fights every once in a while. I'd always hoped I'd outgrow the feeling, but that has yet to happen. I fear now it is unlikely."

They were silent as they walked in time to the soft rush and thunder of the small waves that broke along the shore in high tide. Azula slowed her steps and stopped just before they reached distinctive twin beach houses on stilts about two kilometers from her private beach. The buildings marked the end of her normal walk.

Iroh looked up at them. "Who lives there?"

"The Bouli family owns both, but they rent out one of the homes to other noble families. The Lam family is currently residing." Old Lam's granddaughter had been married promptly after her sixteenth birthday to a distant Bouli cousin. The marriage had earned the right for Lam to pay money to stay at that house. Azula didn't understand nobles and their fascination for forging marriage alliances; they were a breed of their own.

Azula ignored the hesitant wave the man standing on the candle-lit porch sent their way. Iroh, however, returned the wave. "Bouli and his kin have supported your brother staunchly since the end of the war."

"Do you think I don't know that?" she asked Iroh drolly. What was this, a lesson on noble families and their ever shifting loyalties?

Iroh turned back to her. His face was lit in part by the moon and in part by the faint light from the houses at the beach. "Does it upset you that your mother and I are in a romantic relationship?"

"Is it romantic? All I know is that you two fuck."

Iroh slapped her.

Azula was startled for a moment before her surprise shifted to humor. Finally, something about him she could respect! She laughed. Her cheek stung, but the blow had been halfhearted at best. She lifted her hands to applaud. "Bravo! I didn't think you had it in you, old man."

Iroh stared down at his hand as if he'd never seen it before. "I shouldn't have done that. I'm so sorry."

"Why?" she asked as she turned back down the beach. "I said something that deserved a slap. If you do love my mother, that is."

It ignited his anger again. "Do not reduce what I feel for your mother to a physical relationship. Don't you dare say those words to your mother. Even then I'm not excused from striking you."

Azula ignored his apparent crisis of guilt. All over a little tap to the face. She was glad this man hadn't raised her; she wouldn't have survived long in battle if that warranted an apology. Ozai had burned, he's punched, and he'd kicked. Each blow landed was a lesson: don't get hit.

She stepped onto the non-stinging bulb of a beached jellyfish and enjoyed the squish of it between her toes; if it hadn't been dead before, it was now. She quickly diverted her path along the sand to wash her foot off in the surf. "Did you start before she officially divorced Ozai? Or did you carry on like you did when you conceived me?"

"Ozai was never a husband to your mother, Azula."

"Does it make what you did right?"

"I loved her. I do now. That trumps everything else." He reached out to gently squeeze her shoulder. She pulled herself from his grip, and his voice took on a regretful cast. "You'll understand that someday."

She shook her head in disbelief. "I wouldn't dishonor myself."

"When I look at you, all I see is honor. That is what you are, Azula, honor and dignity and so much pain." He sighed. "You and your brother, so much alike in that way."

She turned away. His words stung far more than his hand had. "You don't know me."

"I'm beginning to understand. I wish you'd let me help you."

The implication of his last statement shamed her.

"She told you."

"Ursa shared her concerns," he confirmed. "She said you can no longer firebend. I'd assumed before it was by choice; I should have asked you."

Again with the pity. "It's temporary. I'll figure out how to fix it."

"I'll be happy to help you."

"No." She lost her fire herself; she would regain it herself.

Instead of pressing her, Iroh acquiesced. "Please tell me if you change your mind."

Blessedly, he fell silent for the rest of their walk. She by far preferred him like this. As they approached the familiar patch of beach that sat in front of the estate, the sight ahead coaxed them to stillness: water and moonlight, and a figure spinning in graceful circles, seeming to command them both.

Katara swirled seawater around her, froze droplets, and twisted in the center of a mass of moving water that shone in the bright moonlight. Her grace and pure ability were breathtaking. Azula was reminded once again that this girl had beaten her and that she had held her own in combat in more than one fight. Perhaps she was the most talented waterbender on the planet.

In an odd way, it stroked Azula's ego to think so.

"Katara, how lovely. Do you often practice at night?"

Azula wished Iroh hadn't interrupted the scene.

Katara released her water back into the waves with a twist of her hips. "It's the full moon so I just felt like it." Her hair was down and wild and her feet were bare. Instead of a peasant, Azula suddenly saw her as a foreign princess, master of her own element. She wished she could meet her as a worthy equal. It would be exhilarating to have another bending duel. Katara might be the only person on this planet worthy of meeting Azula's flames in battle.

"What are you two doing out here?" Katara asked as she approached them.

"Just a pleasant walk. It's been many years since I've been able to visit Ember Island. I remember it being just this peaceful. Alas, I'm an old man now, and it's past my bedtime." He stunned Azula when his whiskered face drew close and gently kissed the cheek he'd struck. "Goodnight."

She stared after his retreating figure. Katara stared too and summed it up by pronouncing, "That was really weird."

Azula opened her mouth, then closed it. Never in her life had a male relative kissed her before. Then she remembered Lu Ten used to tickle her and kiss her so long ago. Lu Ten, who had been her brother…

Katara laughed. "Wow. Did Iroh just kill you with shock?"

Azula's eyes filled with tears. Immediately, Katara lurched towards her, all her humor gone. "What's wrong? Did Iroh hurt you?"

Azula thought of the family she might have had and the one she'd lost. Her shoulders shook as she tried to hold in a sob, but Katara's arms came around her shoulders and she couldn't contain herself. Katara's arms rounded her body, holding her close until Azula stopped struggling against the embrace. She cried hard, shuddering sobs into Katara's shoulder. One hand cupped her neck and the other rubbed her lower back. Katara hushed her as if she were a child.

When her sobs finally died down into empty gasps against the wet silk on Katara's shoulder, Katara's arms remained around her. Azula heaved a shaky sigh as she conceptualized how pathetic she was. Ozai had made it clear early in her life that crying in sight or sound of anyone—servants or otherwise—was unacceptable. Was it irony or karma that she was so weak with someone she couldn't simply command respect from?

"I guess you don't hate me," Azula said dryly, reflecting she hated herself enough for the both of them.

"Are you okay? Is Iroh being inappropriate?"

Azula laughed, her voice nasal and weak. "Iroh wouldn't know how."

"Why are you crying then?"

Why? Because she was weak and foolish and had lost all self-respect. Azula shoved Katara from her and walked away.

"Azula!"

"Go away," she managed to say, though her voice wavered with more unshed tears. It wasn't the royal snarl she'd wanted to use, but it had the same result.

Katara kicked sand and shouted after her, "Fine! Whatever. It's not like I care."

Azula enjoyed a single hour of peace the next morning before Ursa found her on the beach. Her mother stood silent for a moment. When Azula didn't acknowledge her, she asked, "Why do you train every day?"

Azula took a deep breath in the lotus position, reaching in to find the echo of chi within her body. She didn't feel it, but her lungs were strong and full and her heart was powerful, pumping slowly. Her diaphragm warmed in liquid heat with each exhalation. It was as close to heatbending that she'd managed so far.

"I've never seen anyone stretch like that."

Azula almost wished that Iroh had come down to sit with her during her workout, not Ursa. At least he wouldn't wax lyrical about simple training exercises.

"Did you make up those katas?"

She drew in another heavy breath. She'd been adapting the strange form that Zuko had used when he'd faced her in Agni Kai. It was centered and steady, unlike any other firebending form she'd used before. She wanted to employ it, bend fire with it, but for now she worked on the movements and breaths to go along with it.

One day she would use it, and she would be better than Zuko could ever hope to be.

"How much of your life have you wasted on these arts?"

Azula's meditation was finally broken when she shouted out her incredulous laughter. "Arts? This is life, Mother!"

Ursa looked down at her in surprise that turned to disapproval. Her arms folded into her sleeves. "Firebending isn't that important. There are far more important things in life."

"Peace, love, and tranquility?" she asked snidely.

"Family." Ursa's glare warned against Azula's disrespectful tone. Her mother hesitated and arranged her skirts to sit primly in the sand across from Azula. "Iroh said... Did you really bend lightning, Azula?"

"Yes."

"I can't believe that Ozai would put you in that kind of danger."

"I love it. It's exhilarating and powerful, and I thank Ozai every day for giving me the tools to learn how."

Ursa's tone went sharp. "Did he appoint those two old women to you? Lo and Li, who taught a little girl how to bend an element that could easily kill her."

Lo and Li hadn't actually taught her how to bend lightning. She'd done it herself the first time…with disastrous effects. She'd ripped her poles apart correctly, but she hadn't known how to release the lightning she'd coaxed. It had gone straight through her soles into the earth, practically melting her feet to the ground. It was her most painful training accident to date. Ozai had forced her to bend lightning correctly before he'd let the royal physician tend to her wounds. She was thankful for it; she might never have bent lightning again if he hadn't.

Ozai had also appointed Lo and Li to chaperone her bending training sessions thereafter to avoid those embarrassing and inconvenient accidents. She considered trying to explain that Lo and Li were there for her protection and realized she'd probably have to reveal the circumstances of their appointment. It wasn't worth the effort.

"I surpassed all my tutors. They were the only ones who knew enough to teach me."

"My prodigal daughter."

Azula's mouth tightened. "You mean prodigy. Precocious would work too, while you're at it."

Ursa's expression shifted to tender pity, a sharp insult. "I said what I meant, sweetie. You're so intelligent and strong and you're squandering that. Maybe your training is one way for you to stay…focused, but I don't think it's healthy or productive. I wish you would consider coming back to Capital City and helping your brother or at least resuming your lessons."

Hadn't she already said she'd surpassed all her tutors? "I can't live in that palace with you people. You'd drive me mad."

Ursa sighed. "Think about it."

Azula, still stinging from the 'prodigal' comment, resolved to do no such thing.

She was paralyzed, lying in bed, staring up at the Avatar who loomed over her. His black silhouette was inhumanly large and horribly malignant. He reached out and placed his hand against her forehead. Her breaths came in sharp gasps and she tried to raise her head, tried to lift her hand, and tried to breathe fire.

She couldn't.

His eyes glowed white, and his mouth opened in a wide grin as he reached into her soul.

"Azula!"

She awoke with a gulp of air and a clumsy swing of her arm. Someone seized her wrist to halt the blow. Azula dropped her arm and stared with wide eyes at Katara, who looked back at her in surprise. She took in her surroundings and grounded herself in reality. Shivering from her cold sweat, Azula rolled into half-lotus and gasped steadying breaths into her hands.

"Hey, it's okay." Katara sat down on her bed and went so far as to wrap an arm around Azula's shoulders. Azula accepted the touch out of pure relief. It took her a few vulnerable minutes to gather herself.

"What time is it?" she asked. Her voice sounded fragile to her own ears.

"Late. I went to the kitchen for a drink and I heard you crying. Are you okay?"

Azula nodded wordlessly. She rubbed her face vigorously, trying to erase the tightness of fear from her skin.

"Do you want to go for a walk?"

Azula spoke through her hands. "If you promise not to talk to me."

To her surprise, Katara didn't take offense. She laughed quietly instead and gave Azula a gentle squeeze, prompting a flinch. Katara quickly released Azula, and her voice went quiet. "I promise I won't talk to you."

A few minutes later, Azula enjoyed cool, wet sand rising between her toes. The warm surf swept up around her ankles. She looked out to the black ocean and its small white breakers that managed to produce such a heavy roar. The sound soothed the last of her fears away. What was left was embarrassment…for being so scared of a little boy. And wonder that Katara had acted the way she had.

Katara plopped down in the surf gracelessly. She didn't seem to care about the sand or salt that was currently ruining her clothing. Katara looked up at her and patted the wet sand beside her in invitation. Azula watched her for a moment before she sat down with her. Water rolled up against her thighs, and she cupped it in her hand. Since her childhood she'd always found it odd that this water could sit clear in her hand but become opaque when less than a meter deep.

Katara took her hand, replacing the water. She squeezed. Maybe that she didn't speak made it easier to accept the touch.

Azula took a deep breath of the salty scent of the ocean and stretched out on her back, her fingers threaded in Katara's. Sand swept up with the water, settling beneath the arch of her back and under her arms. It was warm and comfortable. And safe with Katara sitting next to her.

"Hey."

Azula jerked out of her doze and looked around in shock.

"I didn't think I should let you drown." Katara still held her hand, and she gave it another squeeze. "Come on."

Katara led her back to the house; Azula didn't protest. When she slept this time, she didn't dream.

Her mood was dramatically better when she awoke that morning. She felt well-rested and had a good morning workout, and she swam an extra kilometer to her usual circuit. She could almost be something other than resigned about her three guests. Over lunch, Azula even found it in herself to ask her parents about her brother. "Have Zuko and Mai set a date yet?"

"A date for what?" Katara interjected.

"Mai is still a little young yet for that station," Ursa answered Azula. Her tone suggested irritation. Oh, did Ursa not approve of grumpy, tired Mai? Azula imagined the two of them fighting verbally, and her vision ended with fire and sai. Life must be interesting at the royal palace now with those two vying for Zuko's attention.

"To get married," Ursa continued, addressing Katara.

Katara lowered her utensils back to her plate. She looked incredulous. "Zuko and Mai are getting married?!"

"Is that so shocking?" Ursa asked.

"No. It's more that… Well, they're both so…"

"Maudlin," Azula supplied dryly, sensing Katara was trying to be polite.

Katara shot her a surprised glance and said, "Well, yeah."

"I'm glad someone else thinks so. I was starting to question my own judgment since apparently everyone thinks they belong together."

Of course Iroh would chime in with his own sage advice...with a long shared look with Ursa. "Sometimes it takes someone you don't expect to bring out your best traits."

"If you take Mom's hand and you two smile at each other, I will vomit on you both," Azula warned. She balked at the two bright smiles her words provoked. That was unexpected.

"So what, you think my opinion is actually worth something when I agree with you?" Katara asked haughtily. Her blue eyes flashed in irritation, and she raised her chin to look down on Azula like royalty.

For once Azula had not purposefully given insult. The pettiness—and prettiness—of that pose warded off any irritation it might have caused in the first place. She really was in a good mood, though she had to point out, "Opinions are rarely worth anything no matter who they come from."

"I'm the 'filthy peasant', remember?"

Azula raised an eyebrow, trying to sense where this conversation was headed. "I can't be judged for the things I say in the heat of battle."

"Well, I am a peasant!"

Why was she getting angry about this? "If you insist. I was led to believe your father was the chief of the Southern Water Tribe."

Katara looked at her like she was crazy. "I grew up in a sealskin tent with my grandmother and my brother. My dad might be the chief, but I'm not royalty or anything."

"No?" She seemed proud of the fact.

"No more than you're a purple platypus bear with pink horns and silver wings." No doubt one of her friends had relayed what had happened during the Black Sun. Katara had spoken sharply, like she'd won the argument. Azula was still having trouble figuring out what exactly they were arguing about.

Ursa glanced at Iroh. "What does that mean?" she asked him. He shook his head. "I have no idea."

Azula ignored them; she plunged ahead with the hope of provoking an argument about something more concrete. She leaned back and flicked her fingers, adopting a casual tone. "You're just angry I can outwit your little lie-detector."

"Toph kicked your ass."

"How petty. She managed to restrain me during the solar eclipse when I clearly wanted her to do so. And your brother so willingly took the bait."

"That's not the way I hear it. Apparently you had a few Dai Li agents helping you out."

Azula cocked her head and offered a smile. "Having powerful servants demonstrates prowess. Certainly I can't be blamed for making use of them."

"That's—"

"Cheating? Like launching an attack on the Fire Nation on the day when all firebending is snuffed?"

Katara folded her arms and scowled. "I guess it hurts more that we did the same thing on the day of Sozin's Comet and won."

"With several defected firebenders." Azula flicked her eyes to Iroh, but he didn't appear to take her words as an insult. Instead, he said, "It had to be done, Azula."

This time she addressed him. "What had to be done? Forcing Ba Sing Se back under its flawed trickledown policy and a halfwit king who consults his pet bear for advice on ruling the people? Or possibly returning to power a megalomaniac madman who regularly brainwashed citizens that mentioned the words 'fire' or 'war'? Or doing it all by killing Fire Nation soldiers and Earth Kingdom civilians?"

Iroh frowned. "We have no place dictating what is best for other nations."

"I disagree. As the sovereign ruler of a nation, was I not supposed to protect everyone that I could?"

"But think of the costs of changing that system, Azula!"

"I don't know if you remember, you buffoon, but I deposed the king and Long Feng in a full coup without killing a single person."

Katara jumped on that. "You almost killed Aang!"

"Forgive me, Katara." Azula's tone was sharp with sarcasm. She was enjoying herself immensely. "I was attempting to stop the Avatar from entering a state that killed hundreds of soldiers at the North Pole."

"You hit him with lightning in the back!"

"What use is the all-powerful Avatar state if he isn't paying attention to his surroundings? I only hoped to interrupt his meditation. What a happy coincidence that he was a floating glowing idiot."

Katara continued to glower. "Then why do it? What if he'd turned around and killed you?"

"Then I would have died honorably in combat."

Katara looked at Azula like she was beyond comprehension. She shook her head and offered no more argument.

In the wake of their silence, Ursa cleared her throat and spoke with her teeth clenched. "Yes, well, obviously someone failed to mention quite a few important details of the war, like you being the person responsible for the fall of Ba Sing Se. Azula, you and I are going to have a chat about a few of these exploits." She turned her accusing look on Iroh, who winced.

"Why should we talk about something that only makes you angry?"

Ursa's nostrils flared and her jaw clenched. Azula prepared herself for a berating, but Iroh put a hand on Ursa's arm. "Why don't we all have another round of tea? We can talk about the play the other night."

"Or the weather," Azula intoned dourly. Yet just like that, Ursa's temper had been warded off.

The ocean waves were higher than usual as a result of an early southern hurricane. The possibility of the storm had hastened Ursa and Iroh's return to Capital Island. Heavier waves, undertow, some wind, and rain would probably be all they saw from it, but it was still enough to make sea travel unsafe. Ember Island itself was too far north to feel the effect of most of the bad weather that swept through the Fire Nation seas.

The breeze coming from the ocean was hot, adding to the natural warmth of the setting sun.

"Well, that was fun."

Azula flicked her eyes to Katara, who sat down beside her. They watched the surf in silence for a while.

"Your mother's a lot different than I imagined."

"I suppose Zuko waxed lyrical about his mommy."

Katara lowered her head onto her arms. "He talked about her. He said she hated you. And that she was sweet and…gentle. He didn't say she had a bad temper."

Azula gave a soft laugh at that. Azula had always remembered Ursa's temper more keenly than she remembered soft mothering; Zuko had gotten all of that care. "Who do you think we got it from? Zuko would say anything to justify his feelings. But it's true that she loves him more." The truth of it wasn't as bitter as it had been in the past.

"At least she's here."

Azula wanted to snipe at that comment, but it stuck in her throat. It was true, after all. She darted a quick look at Katara. The other girl sat with her face turned to Azula, but her eyes were on the ocean. They were very blue that evening, contrasting with the wavy brown hair that cascaded over her shoulders. She was pretty, framed in the golden sunlight like that.

"Was it a Fire Nation soldier?"

Katara nodded wordlessly.

"Do you know who?"

Another nod. Then she spoke. "Zuko took me to him. But I couldn't do it. Killing him wouldn't have brought my mother back. And my mother wouldn't have wanted that. She died to protect me."

Azula had never entirely parroted her father's…Ozai's beliefs that other benders were a threat and they had to be exterminated. Other benders were clearly only a threat if they weren't on her side. The usefulness of the Dai Li certainly wasn't to be taken for granted, no matter how much Ozai had sneered at her for bringing them with her to the Fire Nation. He'd called them her weakness. Conveniently, her weakness had saved him from the Avatar during the eclipse.

And Katara…

"How old were you?"

"Eight. Her name was Kya." Katara's fingers traced the emblem on her necklace.

"Was she a waterbender?"

"No. She said she was…to protect me. That was why she was killed." Katara looked like she was fighting tears. She lifted her head and glared at Azula. "Aren't you going to apologize?"

People did what they must, but perhaps what they must do wasn't right. It was one thing to consider a possible error in thinking of her ancestors. It was another to apologize for them. "Why should I?"

"Don't you take any responsibility for what your family's done to this world?!"

"I've always done what I thought was best for my nation. I won't apologize for that." Azula didn't know what made her continue, "But you needn't worry about the Fire Nation waging war on another country. Zuko wouldn't allow it."

"But not you," Katara snapped in accusation.

"There would be no point," she said, a concession in itself.

Katara snatched at that admission. "Then you do think it was wrong."

"With the current state of affairs, extermination of benders—of whatever element—is foolish. And as a country, we're practically bankrupt. There's no money for war and apparently no glory in waging it anymore." Azula scooped some sand and dripped it over the air hole a tiny clam had made in the wet sand. Five seconds passed before the air hole appeared again.

"Do you feel anything?" Katara's voice was tainted by disgust.

Azula glanced over at her in question.

"I keep thinking you've changed, and then you say something that's so…you. Do you do anything just because it feels right? Or do you not do something because it feels wrong?"

An odd question. Emotions were unavoidable and gut instinct had its place on the battlefield. But being a sovereign ruler of a nation meant one had to think about every decision, not just feel it. Maybe Katara had never had to make a decision that would impact every person within a nation. Iroh, the fool, would have made a horrible Fire Lord for all his moral dilemmas. Not that Ozai had been any better. Not that she had been in the brief time the throne room was lit with blue flames. She wondered who she'd inherited her failure from.

Azula dropped her head to her knees, mirroring Katara's posture. Her voice came from far away, and her words were a surprise to herself. "Iroh is my father."

Katara jerked back as if slapped. "What?"

"Exactly." Azula gave a bitter laugh.

"But how do you know?! I mean, it makes no sense."

"Thankfully I wasn't conscious of my moment of conception," Azula said sarcastically. "But my mother is certain it was a moment shared with Iroh, not Ozai. It was such a wonderful thing to hear: 'It's so good to see you again, sweetie. By the way, I had an affair with Iroh when Ozai was away at war, and you're his bastard.'"

Katara leaned back slowly with her eyes glued to Azula. "I'm surprised you didn't kill both of them."

"Contrary of your assumptions of me, my first instinct is not to kill my family members." She tried to smile and twist the conversation away from her uncomfortable truth in pure self-defense. "Discounting Zuko."

There was a long moment of silence. "He's your older brother," Katara finally mumbled, not pressing. "I usually want to kill Sokka at least twice a week."

She would never have guessed that those words of support—of camaraderie—would comfort her as much as they did. If she'd been able to speak past the thickness in her throat, she might have thanked Katara. The compulsion passed.

"Does Ozai know?"

She swallowed before she could speak; she couldn't meet Katara's pitying gaze. "No. No doubt it would just bolster his oh so high opinion of me."

"I guess he took you losing to Zuko and me pretty hard."

Azula scoffed bitterly. "He took having his bending ripped from his soul harder. Instead of an honorable death in battle, my father is going to be a non-bending prisoner of the crown for the rest of his life."

"Would you rather him be dead?"

She knew what Ozai felt like, even free as she was. "Sometimes I'd rather be dead."

Katara seemed to take particular offense to that. "Well, excuse me for thinking it'd be better for you to have a second chance!"

"How magnanimous of you." She'd lost everything that mattered to her and she was supposed to be thankful for not losing her life too? "You didn't end my life just so I can waste away on this island, doing nothing, knowing I'm the daughter of a foolish old man. Is that a second chance?"

Pity was plain on Katara's face. "We're only teenagers."

"So I have this to look forward to for the rest of my life."

Katara actually laughed. "And I thought I was being a whiny kid."

If the laughter hadn't been enough to provoke Azula's anger, her words certainly had been. "Excuse me?"

"You asked me why I'm here. Well, here's your answer: I'm here to take a break from Aang. He asked me to marry him, and I don't even think I want to be with him anymore. So I'm here, feeling sorry for myself because I don't feel the way I should about a guy who's perfect for me. We're perfect company for each other." Katara rolled her eyes. "And we were criticizing Zuko and Mai."

And just like that, Azula was more confused than angry. "I'm not a lovesick fool."

"I'm not lovesick!" Katara proclaimed with a gasping laugh. She picked up a broken shell and lobbed it at the ocean. "That's the problem." There was another moment of silence. "Have you ever liked a boy?"

Azula's control was slipping; she wasn't sure whether to laugh or scream at the odd direction their discussion had taken. "We're carrying on two different conversations."

"I guess that's a 'no'." Katara hesitated and traced her finger through the sand. Her next question was shy. "Well, what about a girl?"

Laughter or a scream still wouldn't come; she was too startled. "What are you implying?"

"Well, Ty Lee is pretty clingy. My brother says she's been burning through the Kyoshi Warriors."

"Is that what she's doing?" Azula pictured Ty Lee as one person in a set of Kyoshi warriors. "All her life, all she's wanted is to distinguish herself as an individual, and she joins the Kyoshi Warriors."

"Well?"

"Well what?"

"Were you two girlfriends?"

"No," Azula replied dryly, watching a blue crab raise its claws to threaten a seagull. She tried to imagine having sex with Ty Lee and couldn't get Ty Lee's phony smile out of her head. "She's been having sexual relations with the Kyoshi Warrior troupe?" Good riddance. "Well, I'd never have guessed that. She was always boy-crazy."

"She's still boy-crazy. Suki almost kicked her out because she tried to seduce my brother."

"I can't imagine why."

"Hey!" Then Katara grinned in concession. "Okay, I can't figure it out either. But apparently girls really like Sokka." She pressed on. "You never liked anyone?"

"No one worth mentioning." Azula didn't know what fit of insanity made her say, "I tried before, but I've never felt it."

"Well, maybe you will."

The firmness of the statement made it almost prophetic, enough to send a chill down Azula's spine. She never wanted to experience the indignity that love seemed to bring out in people. She'd already lost so much of herself she wasn't sure she had anything left to give.

-TBC-