A/N: Story so far: Medical science couldn't explain Teddie, but did help Yosuke offend almost every girl on the team. Kanji was concerned with only one in particular - who found her true self and instantly disliked him.
In this chapter: Kanji's over-protective, Rise's over-sensitive, but Naoto's still not over herself.
October 9th, 2011
In the six months since he'd first met her, Kanji had seen Naoto show only four or five different facial expressions, none particularly happy and most of them kind of blank. However, the one she wore right now - going by the glimpses he'd caught while pretending to inspect his knuckles - was new. Blue-grey eyes fixed straight ahead, lips pressed into a thin line, face even paler than usual - and generally looking like she'd rather be anywhere else on the planet.
Kanji could sympathize. The secret base looked no more inviting than last time and their reason for being here wasn't much better. He'd gotten Souji-senpai's text around nine last night and spent the next few hours trying to convince himself that he wasn't racked with worry over this entire thing. By the morning he'd been sick of thinking about it and devoted himself to cleaning the kitchen top to bottom, until Ma told him to stop scrubbing things that were already spotless and threw him outside.
Man, this was stupid. They'd been inside the TV yesterday. What was the point in jumping straight back in? No new leads on the killer, and Naoto had already summoned her Persona. Hell, exams were coming up - they'd all be better off staying home and studying. Kanji had thought about using that argument on Souji, except it would've been less convincing than Yukiko-senpai asking to skip a TV trip to so she could try out for the Yasogami High wrestling team.
She was the one Souji had originally wanted as the final member of today's team. It'd taken Kanji a lot of stammered half-sentences to persuade him otherwise.
"You know, Kanji-kun, if the wind changes then your face'll stay like that."
Kanji didn't bother to grunt or look down. Rise would soon get bored. Only talking to him because Senpai was busy chatting with Chie and Yukiko. Maybe they were kicking up a fuss about the team swap.
"Ooh, good thing Senpai put you on the team today. Smashing Shadows might cheer you up." Something jabbed him in the ribs, twice in quick succession. "'Cause if I have to keep watching you mope, I'm gonna end up miserable too."
No way was he moping. Worried sick, yeah. Pissed off, sure. Wanting to go break something, definitely.
He glanced down at Rise. "Sukuna-Hikona. You scanned him. He's tough?"
She frowned. "He's… weird, I guess. No weaknesses, but Light and Dark are pretty useless. Practically the first thing I figure out about a Shadow is that Darkness won't work. Kinda wish Himiko would stop telling me," she added, rolling her eyes.
No weaknesses. That was good. Every time Kanji came up against a Shadow with Garu, he swore he felt Take-Mikazuchi shudder. Only thing that ever made the big lump seem willing to fall back. And fine, Sukuna-Hikona's magic sucked, but he had to have a few other tricks. "Can't he do anything else?"
Rise shrugged. "Probably. It's hard to pick everything out from one scan. Guess we'll find out today."
Kanji had just opened his mouth to say he seriously hoped they wouldn't, when Chie turned around. "So, Naoto-kun," she said, then grinned and tipped a thumb toward the large metal bunker. "Featherman, huh?"
Naoto's cheeks flushed pink. "That, that isn't-"
"You were a fan, Chie?" Souji asked.
She shook her head. "Nope. Yukiko was, though. Made me watch it all the time." The next part was said like a whisper, except loud enough for everyone in a ten meter radius to hear. "She had a major crush on the Red Hawk."
"N-No I didn't!" Yukiko stammered, easily beating Naoto in pinkness. "And I was eight!"
"I don't blame you, Yukiko-senpai," chirped Rise, flashing a brilliant smile at Souji. "There's something about leaders, huh?"
Yosuke, sitting under a nearby tree and busy fending off Teddie's attempts to borrow his headphones, glanced over with a snort. "No way! The Yellow Owl was the coolest."
"Oh yeah, I remember him," Chie said thoughtfully. "Total dork."
The rest of the conversation quickly devolved into an argument over which ranger was best - all three girls taking the red side versus Yosuke's desperate defense of the yellow - so Kanji took the opportunity to steal another glance at Naoto. Wasn't blushing quite so hard now, but she was still staring at the ground.
They probably didn't have much in common. He couldn't see Naoto liking sewing, and the closest he got to fighting crime was smacking bikers around the shopping district. But hell, he knew Featherman.
He slouched closer, hoping it came off as casual as he intended. "So, uh...which one did you wanna be?"
Naoto looked up. "Hmm?"
"The rangers. Featherman." Man, this had sounded like a much better idea before he opened his mouth. "I-I wanted to be the Orange Sparrow. Guy could dart around like nothing else."
Her eyebrows arched with surprise. "Not the Black Condor?"
"He was okay. Knew how to fight." Kind of an asshole too, from what Kanji remembered. Kept ragging on the Red Hawk. He frowned. "Did you wanna be him?"
"No, I-" The sentence stopped after the first word, and Naoto's expression instantly closed off. "I-I hardly think discussing a children's television show is relevant to the task at hand."
Kanji was tempted to point out that it was her subconscious that'd invented a secret ranger base and filled it full of robots - but hell, a bathhouse headed by a screeching harpy was ten times worse. He kept his mouth shut, while the rest of the team kept flapping theirs.
Eventually, Souji's voice cut across the rest. "Come on, guys. We don't want to spend all day on this." He gestured to Yukiko, Yosuke and Teddie. "You three wait here with Rise. Might swap you in later."
Better not, Kanji thought.
Just as before, a red and black portal was swirling in the entrance to the base. Chie was the first to step through, urging a reluctant Naoto alongside her. As Kanji moved to follow, a hand grabbed his elbow.
Souji eyed him cautiously. His hand hadn't moved. "Kanji. This is a training run, so I'm okay with bringing you along." His gaze flickered to the portal. "But you can't always be on the same team."
Kanji gulped and shook his head. "Don't care. That ain't why I-"
"Fine," Souji interrupted, dropping his hand to his side. "Just remember, we fight by strategy - and sometimes you'll be waiting back at the lot."
High and mighty leader, Kanji thought, teeth clenched - then choked out a muttered no problem and glared at the ground.
Senpai was just out of sorts because he'd wanted to bring Yukiko. Probably sulking. Okay, that didn't seem much like him, but there was no other reason why he wouldn't understand that Kanji being there made sense. Even though the team didn't really need two front-line fighters. Even though Souji would now have to work support. Even though Yukiko would've been the logical, reasonable choice.
Kanji had never been big on logic. He swallowed hard, trying to calm his yammering nerves, and stepped through the portal.
Inside, the base was the same as before. Metal floors lined with rivets, pipes crawling over the ceiling, eagle crests on the walls and doors. Naoto surveyed the corridor, face tinted green under the light and still managing to look pale. She licked her lips, then bit down on the lower one.
"I. I hadn't seen it before. Just the laboratory." She turned to Souji. "Could we-isn't there somewhere else we could-"
"Nope," Souji said evenly.
Chie nodded. "Gotta do it sometime, Naoto-kun."
Easy for them to say. Souji didn't have a Shadow, or at least hadn't bumped into it somewhere stupid that his head made up. Chie, she'd just been part of Yukiko's - and it was Yukiko that got bent out of shape whenever they went back to the castle, not her. Kanji couldn't stand going back to his, especially not with the rest of the team around. Way too embarrassing, like somebody coming over to your house and finding your dirty laundry strewn over the floor - except it was... head-laundry, or something. Which was much worse.
"C'mon, let's find you some Shadows to beat." Chie tipped her chin toward the corridor ahead.
Naoto nodded dully. Still glancing around the corridor, she began to follow the two senpai - making sure to stay a few strides behind. Matching her pace was difficult, but Kanji managed to fall into step alongside her.
"Hey...s'alright, yeah?" he tried. "Not like your Shadow's here now."
Naoto gestured fiercely around her, taking in the floor, walls and ceiling. "This. Why would I... it's utterly childish. A secret base," she muttered.
"C'mon," Kanji coaxed. "It ain't that bad, believe me."
"It should be something different. A...a..." She tipped up her chin. "A detective agency, or a police station, or-or a study."
By that logic, Kanji's should have been either a schoolyard brawl or a sewing shop full of kittens. "Yeah, well. Rise's was a strip club."
Naoto blinked at him.
Oh man. He honestly hadn't meant to let that slip. Seriously. What if Rise heard him?
"B-but I didn't tell you that, right?" he stammered, quiet as he could. "Rise, she won't just kill me, she'll-" He swallowed. "Do something a thousand times worse. Millions."
Naoto frowned, blinked again, and almost walked into Chie. Her and Souji had stopped dead in the corridor, both now staring through a nearby door. When Kanji peered over their heads, the room beyond looked like all the others - green light, steel floor, long rows of monitors and switches - until he caught the black, swirling mass hovering in the center.
Souji was bent on one knee, his palm pressed against the floor. "I think we've found a target," he murmured.
Honestly, Senpai. Rushing in and starting fights with poor, innocent Shadows...I thought Kanji-kun was the bad influence!
"Sorry, Rise. I'm leading the others astray." He glanced over his shoulder. "Including Naoto-kun here. Ready, Naoto?"
"Of course," Naoto answered, far too smoothly.
"On three, then. One, two-"
"Three!" Chie finished, and launched herself straight from a crouch to a forward dash. Naoto followed a split-second later, pulling her pistol and dodging round Souji before Kanji had time to raise his shield.
Dammit, if she ran off like that-was she trying to make this difficult?
Kanji raced after her into the room, cursing under his breath with each step. The black mass of Shadows had already started to stretch out like marshmallow, the buzzing and humming growing louder as it split into three separate, shapeless globs. None of them stayed that way long. They molded into crude figures within moments, two of them big and humanoid - Gigas, he guessed.
"Wh-what-" Naoto started - then visibly braced, her expression leveling out as she took aim.
Two Gigas and a Relic, guys. Remember, no physicals, no fire - and Kanji-kun, no electricity!
Too right. Couldn't toss lightning at those guys unless you wanted it sparking back in your ears and straight down your spine. Kanji had learned that much trying to tackle this place without Souji. But that was cool; Chie had Bufu, Naoto had whatever, and Senpai could always bust out one of his other Personas.
No physicals on the Relic, either, but it's weak to fire.
Kanji winced.
Souji shot him a pointed look. "Chie and I will take the Gigas. Kanji, Naoto, you've got the Relic."
Naoto tore her eyes away from the Shadows long enough to give a brief nod. All four fanned out, Kanji following Naoto to the left as Chie and Souji moved right.
Shit, he hated fights like this. Wasn't like these guys were hard, but he was useless if he couldn't smash stuff. Ran out of steam too quick. Fire off too many Ziodynes, and he'd have nothing left for the next fight. He glanced sideways at Naoto, expecting her to summon - but instead, she backed away, angled her gun, and pulled the trigger. The bullet ricocheted off the Relic's head, striking the floor barely two steps in front of her.
Dammit, which part of 'no physicals' didn't she understand?
Scowling, Kanji crushed his card in one hand. "Take-Mikazuchi!"
Take-Mikazuchi crackled into life and lurched forward, fist outstretched to match Kanji's own. A bolt of lightning crashed down into the Shadow, knocking it back almost far enough to topple - but only almost.
The Relic rocked forward again, creaking and grinding, and sent a burst of flame roaring towards Naoto.
She didn't budge. Kanji's stomach lurched into his chest, twisted inside-out on the way, because there was no way he could- "Naoto! Move!"
At the last possible moment - he swore her hat got singed - Naoto dodged. She ducked to the left, still moving, and fired off a second shot that glanced off the Relic and into the wall behind her. She frowned, her lips moving silently.
Why the hell wasn't she summoning? "Put the frickin' gun away!"
Across the room, Senpai echoed him. "Naoto, you have to use your Persona!"
The frown got worse. Gun arm still raised, Naoto held out her other palm - and her card snapped into the air, shattering around a bullet seconds later. Sukuna-Hikona spiraled out and slashed across the Shadow, Hama Runes glowing in the wake of his sword.
Whenever he got a new Persona that had light or dark, Souji always tried out their powers. Wishful thinking, he called it. Hama had hit once, when they went up against a Shadow Rise could tell was weak to it. Mudoon had failed every time. And now, just as Kanji expected, the Hama runes faded away - the Relic shrugging off the spell as if Naoto had never cast it.
Take-Mikazuchi made a noise that didn't contain any words, yet still made it pretty clear what he thought of midget Personas and their crappy magic - which shifted into panic as the Relic's chest cracked in two.
Kanji dropped to his knees and threw up his shield. A furious wind blasted around the edges, whipping his coat around his shoulders. Teeth clenched, he tucked down his head, glanced to his left - and watched Naoto slam into the wall.
Later, he wouldn't remember actually deciding to run. He just did it - sprinted clear past the Relic, the last of the gale still buffeting him, grabbed Naoto by the waist and hauled her up. "Shit, you okay?"
Naoto stared at him fuzzily - breath coming in gasps, narrow shoulders heaving. Blood was trickling down her chin. She'd torn her lip, probably bit it on reflex.
"Wh-what are you-" she finally stuttered out - then smacked both fists hard against his biceps.
Kanji barely felt it. He jerked back his hands all the same, but mostly because he'd realized they were still around her waist. "You, you alright? You hurt?" Of course she was, she was bleeding. "Dammit, I shoulda been-"
Naoto glared. "Move," she muttered, yanking her pistol back by its cord and shoving past him. Facing forward, eyes tracking the Relic's movements, she darted away as Kanji looked to his right. Souji and Chie had both the Gigas on the ropes, but Senpai was looking battered. He'd given up on support in favor of hurling out as many Bufu spells as he could. Chie was trying to do the same, scowling each time when her target barely flinched.
A gunshot sounded to his left. Had to be Naoto. Probably trying Mudoon. "Naoto, you know that ain't gonna-"
He caught one glimpse of Sukuna-Hikona darting forward, sword held out, before his vision flashed white.
Blind and deaf, Kanji fell hard on his knees. Fricking hurt, so at least he knew he wasn't dead - and by the time his ears finally stopped ringing and he'd blinked his vision clear, all three Shadows had hit the deck. The air sizzled as they sputtered out of existence.
Hovering over them, Sukuna-Hikona buzzed once, did a little loop back to Naoto, then disappeared.
Holy crap. Guess the little guy had it in him after all.
Yeah, Himiko finally figured it out! Megidola. Knew there was something I was missing. Naoto-kun just needed a little push.
Kanji couldn't help a broad smile. It vanished when he saw the blood still staining Naoto's jaw.
"No weaknesses, you said," he muttered at Rise.
What're you talking about? She got up just fine. Stop fussing!
Kanji wanted to snap back at her, but it would've been halfhearted. Rise was right. You got hit by the wrong sort of spell, you went out hard. If you were lucky, somebody would smack you to your senses and toss out a Dia before whatever you were fighting finished the job. Naoto was fine.
"Awesome, Naoto-kun!" Chie bounded over from the other side of the room, skidded to a halt, and raised her palm for a high-five that Naoto tried to turn into a handshake. "Right, Souji?"
"Good job, guys. That was a little more hectic than I'd have liked," Souji said, wiping at his forehead.
"No kidding. Felt kinda useless there."
Naoto bowed her head. "You contributed admirably, Chie-senpai."
"C'mon, stop that." Chie tipped her own with a skeptical look. "You don't have to flatter me. I know what I'm good at."
"You did fine," Souji insisted. "It's rare we hit a fight like that. Trial by fire," he added, with a smile at Naoto.
She nodded back. "Indeed. Please excuse me, senpai," she said - then turned around and looked straight at Kanji.
His stomach tightened on reflex, partly because it always did when he met her eyes, but mostly because she looked like she wanted to drag him into a police station, shine a spotlight in his face and grill him for a week. She crossed the gap between them in seconds, each step quick and decisive, fists clenched at her sides.
Man, if this was how she handled criminals, Kanji almost felt sorry for them.
Naoto stared up at him, eyes narrowed almost into slits. "Kanji-kun, what were your intentions during that battle?"
Crap. She'd noticed.
Lacking ideas, Kanji tried playing dumb. "What d'you mean?"
"Offering me assistance. There was no strategic purpose in it. I don't under-" Naoto stopped, glanced away, and started over. "If I had suffered a severe injury, perhaps it would have been justified, but I-" She paused again and ran her hand along her jaw, smearing the blood on her chin - then looked him in the eye. "Why?"
There was no right response to that. "Uh-I-well. First battle, y'know." He made it sound as convincing as he could, which wasn't very. But Naoto seemed mollified, at least a little, and the look of suspicion faded.
"I...suppose that's acceptable," she said carefully, still holding his gaze. "But refrain from doing so again. It isn't necessary."
Except it had been. What, he was supposed to leave her on the floor? Naoto and him were teammates. Teammates looked out for each other. "Just tryin' to help," he mumbled.
Apparently, it was the wrong answer.
Naoto bristled. Her jaw tightened, her eyes narrowed again, and the next sentence came out rushed and jagged. "I understand that I am new to this, Kanji, and that you have all been working with your Personas for far longer, but believe me when I say that I am perfectly capable of handling-"
"I know that! Just, you got smacked into-I, I thought you were hurt." Screw it, this whole conversation made no sense. Naoto made no sense. "An' you were!"
"A cut lip hardly qualifies as an injury - and as an electricity user, it was far more risky for you to involve yourself."
On one level, Kanji wondered where she'd picked up on that. On another - the more familiar and instinctive one - she was really pissing him off. "Don't matter," he muttered through the small gap left between his clenched teeth.
If Naoto heard, she didn't show it. "You should concentrate on the task at hand and your own safety. If I need anyone's help, I will ask for it."
"You mean when you're out cold on the frickin' floor?" Definitely wasn't the right thing to say, and this time he knew it.
Naoto leaned forward. Kanji automatically leaned back.
"Tatsumi," she said, very quietly. "I have told you before. I do not require babysitting."
As he stared down at Naoto, who was trying hard to be intimidating and half-succeeding on guts alone, a new thought crossed Kanji's mind. Even though it wasn't for a good reason - and even though she was glaring football-sized holes in him - he finally had Naoto Shirogane's full attention.
Thoughts like that didn't help at all.
"Fine. Fine," he repeated, growling deep in his throat. "Won't do it again. First fight, s'all."
Naoto gave a single, brisk nod. "Good. Now, excuse me."
Kanji watched her turn on her heels, stride over to the wall by the door - about the furthest away she could get without leaving the room - and start reloading her pistol.
What the hell was so hard for her to understand? Why wouldn't he have helped her? Shouldn't have even let her get thrown across the room in the first place. She was little. A lug like him could shrug it off, no problem - but if Kanji had stopped to think about it, he would've been worried about hurting Naoto just picking her up. Somebody like that, they weren't made for fighting. Chie-senpai wasn't that much bigger, and he'd kinda worried about her too - for about five minutes. Their first battle together not only proved she could take a hit, she was agile enough that most of them never landed. Kanji still wanted to help, sometimes, but told himself his senpai knew what she was doing.
Yukiko was different, because while she wasn't small, she looked... fragile was the wrong word. Graceful, maybe. The sort of strength a person didn't keep in their fists, and no matter what, she always looked out of place in battle. Didn't help that he'd known her for years. But she always stood at the back - and if Chie was there, any Shadow aiming for Yukiko needed to survive a flurry of high kicks first. Rise was fine as well, since she stayed so far behind the team, assuming she'd even followed them inside. If she hadn't, somebody always waited with her. Good thing, too. The image of Rise in a fight was even weirder than actually watching Yukiko.
But Naoto? She was a problem.
She'd be at the front. No other option. All Sukuna-Hikona could do was attack, which was about the dumbest thing ever for a Persona less than a meter tall with an owner who wasn't much bigger. Especially when that owner thought she had something to prove.
Kanji shook his head. He had to let this go. Naoto had bitched him out just for helping her up; if he'd tried to push her aside and take the hit, he'd be wearing a new set of bullet holes.
Didn't stop him from wishing he'd done it.
"So what was with that? You fall asleep standing up?"
"Just missed, s'all," Kanji lied. He already knew Chie wouldn't be convinced, not when he'd screwed up in all three of their other fights. Too busy staring at Naoto and forcing himself not to rush over whenever she got hit.
Shit, this was pathetic.
Chie cocked an eyebrow. "Okay, so I know that's not true. We've fought together for months, Kanji-kun, and I've never seen you miss an opening like that."
He wasn't even sure which fight she meant. Last one, probably. He'd missed a chance to Ziodyne a Panzer through the floor because he'd been watching Naoto dodge a slash from a Royal Dancer's sword. "S'okay. You took 'em down."
"Yeah, but I didn't need to."
Kanji grunted and shoved his hands in his pockets. Cold out. Stupid of him to still be hanging around in the food court, since Naoto didn't show any sign of leaving soon and wouldn't want him walking with her anyway. She'd been sat at the same table for ten minutes now, talking with Teddie (though from where Kanji was standing, it looked a little more like an interrogation).
Maybe he should offer to walk her anyway. Wasn't like she'd shoot him in the middle of Junes. She'd just make him feel about a centimeter tall instead, and that was-
"You know, if somebody tried to do that to me, I'd be pissed."
He turned back to Chie. "Do what?"
"Take a hit. Jump in front of me, push me out the way, whatever." Her hands settled on her hips. "Because I know I can take it, and doing that-it'd be like saying I couldn't. They'd be taking the fight away from me."
"Never did any of that," insisted Kanji - not mentioning that he still wished he had.
"But you wanted to," she pointed out. "And I'd also get mad if somebody cut out in the middle of battle just so they could haul me up."
They hadn't known each other before he signed up with the team, but Kanji liked Chie. Girl knew how to fight and eat: both qualities he could admire. Gutsy, too. Different as they were (maybe because they were) he could totally see why Yukiko-senpai liked her. All that said, she'd never struck him as the observant type - which meant either she was currently channeling Souji-senpai, or Kanji had been about as subtle as a brick in the face.
"Dunno what you mean," he mumbled, glaring at a point roughly twenty centimeters above her head.
"C'mon, Kanji-kun, I'm not blind! I know why you didn't hit that Shadow. And I'm just saying it'd piss me off if I was on the receiving end."
"That ain't-" he began, then swallowed. "S'different. You can fight."
She shrugged. "So can Naoto. Her Persona has physicals, right? She's no worse off than Yosuke."
One of Rise's comments fluttered into Kanji's mind - the one about Chie and Yosuke and girls throwing bugs at boys, or something like that. "What if it was him?"
"Huh?"
"Yosuke. If he was the one helping you."
Chie's eyes widened. Kanji angled his head slightly, trying to work out if she looked horrified, insulted, guilty, or all three at once.
"Wh-Why would that matter?" she snapped.
Uh-oh. "I-I just-"
"The only difference is that I'd smack him afterward!" She stamped a foot against the tiled floor. It landed dangerously close to one of Kanji's. "He's-he knows better!"
Kanji wondered if Yosuke had tried, back when the senpai first went inside the TV. Might never have occurred to him. Maybe it did, but he knew Chie would be pissed - or he did take a blow for her once, and got bitched out so bad he never tried again.
Except it wasn't something you could control, not like that. Every time Naoto got hit - or just came close to it - Kanji had already lurched forward two steps before he could remind himself to stay put.
Maybe it would get easier. It had to.
He turned to Chie again. She was making small hops from one foot to another and still looked rattled.
"What if it was Yukiko-senpai?" he asked.
She frowned. "Helping me?"
"No. Other way. If she was in trouble."
Chie's expression shifted. She glanced away, fingers curling inward to tug at her track jacket sleeve.
"I-I dunno. I guess I'd- I'd want to-" She shook her head. "That's different. Yukiko, she can't fight back. I've always looked after her. You and Naoto-kun only met a few months ago and she can handle herself."
Only a few months. Kanji usually did his best to ignore that part; told himself it didn't matter. Love at first sight, right?
Yeah, like Naoto was into that. Wasn't what he felt, either, because it didn't exist. He squared his shoulders and gave Chie a firm nod, ignoring the hot coils twisting in his stomach. "'Course she can."
October 11th
Kanji was quickly learning that, among her many other talents, Naoto had an amazing knack for sulking.
Sure, Yosuke had been an ass. That was Yosuke. Rising to his bait wouldn't change that. It might've been hypocritical of Kanji to think so after he'd almost put the guy through a wall, but everyone knew he had a temper. Naoto was supposed to be unflappable. Then again, she'd lost her rag at her Shadow, and that cop back in the summer. Possibly a bunch of other cops too, if the stuff Souji and Yosuke had heard at the station was anything to go by. Right now, she looked dangerously close to losing it with Rise, who'd been trying to wring a reaction out of her for the past ten minutes.
"Oh, stop pouting, Naoto-kun!"
Naoto didn't answer, instead continuing to glower at a random section of the food court fence. In response, Rise made a tight, frustrated sound, threw up her hands and started a pout of her own.
Though he didn't talk much, Kanji had never been comfortable with silence. He was on the verge of tipping over the damn table just to make some noise when Naoto finally spoke.
"Useless," she muttered. "As if he would know."
"It's Yosuke-senpai!" Rise insisted, then slouched back in her seat and tugged irritably at a loose strand of hair. "He was only kidding."
He'd still hurt Naoto's feelings, though. Or her pride. Which was probably the same thing. If Kanji had a complex, or whatever Naoto had told the senpai, she sure as hell had one too. But if somebody had made her feel bad, wasn't he supposed to do something about that?
"Right, Kanji-kun?"
"Right," he repeated - still trying to figure out whether he should smack Yosuke on principle or tell Naoto to just fricking get over it. The first wouldn't help. The second was honest but kind of harsh, and also something he hadn't fully learned how to do himself.
Naoto stared at them both in turn, then turned back to the fence. Her fingers moved over the edge of her cap, pausing to fumble with the band of fabric around the middle. Kanji wondered if it was coming loose.
"Perhaps I ought to have-I haven't had the opportunity to study many second year subjects. My studies have been…lopsided, possibly." Her hand had shifted to the table now, fingertips pressing hard against the surface, and she shook her head. "I simply didn't think I'd be of any use in-"
"You're not useless, you couldn't be!" Kanji insisted, slamming a hand on the table for emphasis. Then the words finally made it to his brain, along with the realization that he'd missed Naoto's own hand by centimeters. Play it cool, he told himself, and waited a few extra seconds before jerking his arm back like it was on fire.
Naoto glanced from her hand to him and back again, frowned, then tipped down her chin. Her next comment seemed to be directed at the table. "R-regardless, Yosuke-senpai had no right to say that. The police have called me many things, but not..." The sentence trailed off into nothing.
All three of them fell silent.
Kanji shot a pointed glance at Rise, hoping she'd kick-start things again - or at least kick Naoto out of her funk - but she just rolled her eyes. Probably still pissed that Souji was coaching Yosuke today and not her. She hadn't been able to wrangle any future sessions out of him either; Senpai must've finally noticed that the more time she spent fixing him with dreamy stares in the library, the lower her grades dropped.
Okay. Conversation. Something they could all talk about. Not Featherman, that'd bombed big time.
"So. You, uh." Wait. He could prove Naoto was useful. "Y-You were serious 'bout coaching me? And Rise?"
Naoto looked up. "Of course. I offered before." She gestured vaguely towards them both. "Besides, the two of you clearly require instruction to ensure an adequate performance."
"Thanks, Naoto-kun," Rise huffed. "We really needed you to tell us how dumb we are."
Naoto stared blankly for a full second before her forehead creased into a frown. "That isn't what I meant."
"Rise's teasing," Kanji interjected, hoping he was right. "S'nice of you. Offering to help."
"Ah." Hesitating, Naoto shifted slightly in her chair. "Well, I-it was Rise-san's idea, originally. And, and I feel I should..." Her gaze drifted to the side. "Make an effort, I suppose."
What was he supposed to make of that? Did it mean she wanted to help, or that Senpai was making her? He'd already said she needed to treat the rest of the team better - at least, better than she did before she joined. She probably didn't give a damn about helping.
"Y-you don't have to," he blurted out. "If you don't want."
"It's no trouble to me, Kanji-kun. And it would benefit you both."
Didn't answer his question. Which, he realized, was probably more do you wanna spend time with me than anything to do with helping him get better grades - and was therefore really, really stupid.
He grunted. Must've sounded encouraging, because Naoto turned to Rise. "Is that agreeable, Rise-san?"
Rise sighed and burrowed further into her padded jacket. "I guess."
With the confidence of somebody safely on home turf, Naoto gave a quick, firm nod. "Then we'll meet here tomorrow, after school."
October 12nd
"Naoto-kun, I give up. I can't study any more."
Any more was kind of misleading. Far as Kanji could tell, Rise had spent the last twenty minutes doodling in the margins of her notes (mostly stars, save for a long string of hearts with her and Senpai's names in them). It'd been an improvement on the ten minutes before that, which she'd spent kicking his ankles beneath the picnic bench.
"Nonsense," Naoto insisted. "You simply aren't focused."
Rise huffed in response and kicked Kanji's ankle again. He didn't really notice, since he was busy pretending not to look at Naoto. She was sitting the other side of the bench, mathematics notes stacked in a line of neat piles in front of her. From Kanji's angle the pages were upside down, but he could still tell that while the handwriting wasn't exactly elegant - Naoto wrote everything in capital letters - everything was hyper-organized, all numbered headings and carefully drawn diagrams.
...So what the hell was with that closet in her apartment? Stuff just thrown in there, all over the-
Wait, he didn't want to think about that. Trigonometry. Definitely a safer bet. Besides, he didn't want Naoto thinking he was dumb. Unfortunately, his own notes comprised three pages of scribbles that even he couldn't decode and one sheet of new doll designs, and he'd left them at home rather than risk Naoto seeing them. Wasn't his fault math class was boring. Geometry was kind of useful, though. Good for sewing patterns. Shame he wasn't learning much of it, since Naoto's approach to coaching involved hurtling at the speed of light through each topic then shoving worksheets across the table.
"Why can't we do this indoors, anyway?" Rise whined, folding her arms and pouting. "Like at the library?"
Naoto shook her head. "I can't instruct you there. Talking is forbidden."
People weren't his strong spot, but Kanji had a pretty good handle on Rise. What she really wanted was for Senpai to appear in the food court, sweep her off her feet and whisk her away to a study session that didn't involve actual studying. Naoto had been doomed from the start. "But it's cold! I'm gonna freeze!"
"I assure you, Rise-san, the weather is fine."
"Whatever, Naoto."
Kanji winced.
When she wasn't trying to ruin his life, at least the parts involving Naoto, Rise was really neat. She always kept a conversation going, she could probably beat Teddie in a sparkle contest, and she was the perkiest, most optimistic person Kanji had ever met - right up until the moment she blew her stack. The tone of voice she'd just used marked that point. Rise-the-diva was about to hit.
Kanji ducked his head and tried to look interested in his textbook.
"I understand that the case is more pressing than schoolwork, but-"
"That's not why I can't concentrate," Rise snapped. "This stuff is just boring."
"Regardless," said Naoto, so coolly it even bugged him, "your lack of interest in the topic is not an excuse to fail your exams."
"I got by fine last time!"
Scraped by was more accurate. Skin of the teeth. Rise had done almost as bad as him; she just glossed over it better.
Naoto shook her head. "I doubt that. I understand you've had a successful music career, but you-"
"Since when were you my mom?" Rise narrowed her eyes, hovering dangerously close to a sneer. "Don't be such a know-it-all."
This time, Naoto's voice was a lot less steady. "I am not-"
"Like you know anything!" snapped Rise - arms folded tight, shoulders viciously angled, and generally looking like an pissed off piece of origami. "I'm gonna hire translators for the English and I'll get accountants to do the numbers and if I want anything else, I-I'll make someone look it up online!"
"That's-there's no excuse for apathy, or-or laziness!"
"I'm not lazy! You just suck as a tutor!"
Kanji cleared his throat. "Hey, maybe we oughta-"
"My explanations have been perfectly clear! If you're incapable of understanding them, then-"
"Oh, so now I'm stupid again?"
"That isn't what I said, but obviously you're just hearing-"
His fist smacked into the table hard enough to shake it. "Dammit, I don't wanna listen to this crap!"
Both Rise and Naoto were shocked into silence. Kanji, who hadn't expected it either, came pretty close. "Carry on like that and we won't get nothing done," he muttered, half pissed off and half hoping he hadn't hurt their feelings.
Naoto opened her mouth to speak, but stopped short of forming the words. Rise leapt in. "Not everyone's as strung out as you, Naoto," she snapped, standing up and slamming both palms against the table surface. "You need to get over yourself!" With that - and a final angry huff - she grabbed her bag, slipped out from the bench, then stalked across the food court and through the store doors.
Kanji watched her leave in silence. When he glanced back at Naoto, her hands were curled into tight fists on the table. The knuckles were white.
"Don't hold it against her," he offered. "She's just pissed, she'll get over it."
"Rise's episodes do not concern me." Naoto stared firmly at her hands, her lips drawn in a narrow line. "This was purely a gesture of goodwill. She's being ungrateful."
Irony, Kanji thought.
"And there was absolutely nothing wrong with my methodology," Naoto added, voice confident, as she folded her arms and leaned back from the table.
Kanji swallowed. "Uh... well, I kinda understand how she feels." He hesitated, watching Naoto carefully. "You, you jumped too much stuff. Went too fast. Then when she called you on it, you-"
Naoto, who'd turned to stone at some point during his last few sentences, fixed him with a glare that could strip paint. "I devoted more than enough time to explaining the concepts," she shot back. "If Rise was unable to follow, she either wasn't paying attention or, or she simply lacks the cognitive ability."
Kanji had expected-okay, he didn't know what he'd expected, because if it was for Naoto to be reasonable for once, then-
He frowned and let out a long breath. "Look, I didn't understand much either."
Her glare shifted to the side. "Then the same applies to you," she muttered, with a sharp tug at the brim of her cap.
Kanji's throat tightened. Under the table, his hand made a fist against his knee.
"Well, I guess there ain't any point in this," he muttered - choking down the urge to shout or curse or break something, just to stop feeling like a complete idiot - "if I'm too stupid to ever get it."
Later on he'd decide it was just desperation, a trick of his ears - but as he stormed away from the table, he was sure he heard Naoto say his name. He still didn't look back.
The stuffed toy rabbit couldn't read textbooks, didn't make smart-ass remarks, and had spent the entire day sitting quietly on the sewing table. It didn't deserve any of the twenty-two needle-holes Kanji had jabbed into it.
Wasn't his fault. He couldn't concentrate. Sewing had always calmed him down before, put his mind back in order - but now Naoto was jumbling it all up, same as everything else. Great going, Tatsumi. Mooning after someone who flew off the handle when he tried to help them and called him an idiot in the middle of the food court. Couldn't have picked a worse crush.
Kanji wished he knew how to pick a different one. He couldn't remember choosing the first.
Forget about that. Finish the rabbit. The kid by the river was expecting it. When they met two nights ago, Kanji had offered to make one on reflex - like he could've resisted - and been mortified when he remembered Souji was standing next to him. Senpai had been real good about it, though. Didn't laugh. He actually encouraged Kanji - who, not for the first time in his life, briefly and fiercely wished he was somebody different. Somebody like Souji.
Souji was a good guy. Naoto was-
His cell buzzed in his pocket. Kanji fished it out and flipped it open.
STUDY TOMORROW Y/N
The number wasn't one he knew. It didn't matter.
Shit, he wasn't even sure where Naoto had gotten his number. Must've been from Rise. Who'd probably shove a ballpoint pen in Naoto's ear if she tried to act as tutor again. Had the kid blanked out the last six hours?
He tapped out a message. what bout rise?
WILL TALK W/HER
Before he had time to answer - he couldn't figure out a good way to ask when that conversation would happen or whether Naoto would mind him vanishing when it did - a third message arrived.
SORRY FOR EARLIER
Kanji gripped the phone in his hand, thumb hovering over the keypad, and stared dumbly at the screen until it shut off.