Day Twenty two: Phobos and Diplomacy.
Hephaestion had proved himself in different fights after Chaeronea and even though he had been in battle without Sotiris, he had been as courageous as he was before her death.
However, after some other small battles, Hephaestion started to behave weirdly. At first, only Alexander realized about his strange behavior. Days after Hephaestion had shown the first symptoms, Alexander decided to approach the subject in the most subtle way he knew, and they were both in bed, in the afterglow of their lovemaking.
"There is something I want to ask you Phai" Alexander asked quietly.
"You know I don't have secrets for you, Xander, you can ask me anything" Hephaestion said looking at his lover.
"Why are you so nervous?" Alexander finally asked.
"Nervous? What do you mean?" the brunette asked and his voice was not as firm as before.
"You are quite jumpy, you seem to be always on alert as if you were waiting for someone to attack you" Alexander added.
"I know, I am trying not to get so obsessed with that but I see enemies everywhere" Hephaestion confessed in a whisper.
"What can I do to help you?" Alexander asked while drowning in his lover's eyes.
"Try not to mother me, please; it is already too hard to feel this useless" Hephaestion asked, knowing that that would be a titanic task for his prince.
"But you are not useless; you still go on entering into battle and fighting with the same courage" the prince tried to calm his lover.
"Yes, but I am the only one who knows how terrified I feel during the whole fight" Hephaestion finally said his biggest fear aloud.
"Is it that bad?" Alexander asked without fully understanding what was happening.
"Yes Xander and I really don't want anyone to know about it" the brunette said in a whisper again.
"You may want to talk to Aristotle and ask him for some advice?" he suggested knowing how well they got along with each other.
"And what would I ask him? Master, is there any concoction to drink so I can stop being a coward?" Hephaestion asked angrily.
"You are not a coward, maybe you are associating everything with Sotiris's death and you can't let that pain go" the prince added another option.
"I should be able to let it go, it has been more than five months, anyone could say that it is about time I stop mourning her" the brunette's voice sounded tired and sad at the same time.
"You are the only one who should decide when to stop, she was your friend, your saviour" Alexander encouraged his friend to go on talking.
"Thanks for understanding. I will try to contact Aristotle and ask him, maybe he had encountered my problem before in others" Hephaestion said while getting more comfortable on the bed.
"Let's do that. Now can I distract you for a while? Alexander asked, nipping the brunette's earlobe.
Hephaestion chuckled and turned onto his side while he let his hand travel along Alexander's side until it rested near his groin.
There was no fear or shyness in their second round and luckily a sated Hephaestion could rest the whole night while his prince cradled him in his arms.
Alexander thought that Hephaestion had found a solution when Aristotle told him that he had seen those symptoms, especially in new soldiers that had suffered a traumatic experience in the battlefield. Those experiences generally generated some post traumatic symptoms such as feeling jumpy or moody, being always on alert and looking for danger even if there wasn't.
Alexander thought that but he was wrong; and what was worse was that somebody else knew about Hephaestion's problem.
Craterous and Cassander were two companions with the biggest thirst of power and control; they also wanted to be close to the crown prince in order to achieve their goals. Even though they had tried everything to get closer and become Alexander's lover, they both had failed.
Hephaestion had been able to capture the prince's heart years ago, at the tender age of seven and after ten years, he still had a strong grip on it, and that power made of him their worst enemy.
They had tried separately to get rid of Hephaestion but they had been unable to do that. After drinking a lot one night, both young men realized that they had the same goal so they decided to join their forces and anger to finally find a way to get rid of the brunette. However, none of the men acknowledged to the other that they were secretly attracted to Hephaestion, who had rejected their advances kindly when they had offered to keep him "company".
Both companions were constantly checking on the brunette so, unfortunately, they were the ones who also discovered what was happening to Hephaestion and they decided to use it against him, as a way of undermining and diminishing his influence over Alexander or belittling his presence and use in the Army; considering him as a liability for the rest of the companions' safety.
After studying him for some days, both companions could discover what made Hephaestion click, jumpy or just unstable and they repeated every patron to make him react in an illogical and uncommon way. And Hephaestion did it, exposing himself to the most severe ridiculaization he had ever suffered.
They made him jump by appearing from behind and startling him; they hid in dark corridors and suddenly popped up making him scream or they followed him and disappeared as soon as he turned round so there was no one there, making Hephaestion feel more nervous and jumpy.
They continued doing that for several days until Hephaestion was a total wreck; he was not able to be quiet or alone; he was constantly looking over his shoulder or with his hand over the hilt of his sword. He was feeling so anxious and worried that he was carrying an extra dagger, hidden beneath his chiton.
By that time, everybody was aware of Hephaestion's problem and many of the companions had started to laugh at his jumpy behaviour.
Hephaestion could not take it any longer and Alexander did not know how to help him or what to do to prevent those symptoms from getting worse.
One late evening, after a long and tough day, Alexander saw Hephaestion fleeing king Philip's palace towards the woods. He decided to let him be alone for a while but when dinnertime arrived and Hephaestion was still missing, he decided to look for his lover, worried that, in his distressed state, Hephaestion could have done something against his own safety.
The prince ran towards the darkest area of the woods but he stopped as soon as he found Hephaestion knelt by a small altar. His lover was burning some spices to Ares and that sign just told Alexander how disturbed his lover was or if he were even thinking about what he was doing. Alexander knew that Hephaestion would never plead the name of the god of war.
The blonde prince approached Hephaestion quietly but making enough noise to let his lover know he was there. Surprisingly, the blue-eyed youth was so immerse and lost in his prayers that he did not realize he was accompanied until Alexander put a hand on his shoulder.
Hephaestion freaked out and turning round as quick as a thunderbolt, he took his dagger out to place it onto his attacker's neck; he was about to cut the skin beneath the sharp weapon when he realized that it was Alexander. The prince took a deep breath and Hephaestion could see that the blonde's two coloured eyes were totally dilated due to the fear he was feeling.
Hephaestion dropped his dagger and enveloped Alexander in a tight embrace while he asked for his forgiveness repeatedly. Alexander hugged him back and let themselves fall to the grass on their knees. When the misunderstanding was over, Alexander cleared his voice and asked Hephaestion what he was doing out there, all by himself.
The brunette confessed that he was asking Ares for some help; he was about to ask the god to arouse his courage with his offering of some very expensive spices; the very same ones he had used to burn at Apollo's altar for his beloved Sotiris.
Alexander nodded and understood Hephaestion's reason so he joined his lover by the altar and remained in silence while the brunette finished his prayers. As he was staring at Hephaestion, Alexander could see the exact moment when the blue-eyed soldier got a positive answer to his prayers. The prince could also see how a bluish light enveloped the brunette's tall frame and he was able to see how the frown of his forehead disappeared and how all his worry lines faded away, giving him a new and more peaceful countenance.
It also seemed as if the heavy weight that was making his shoulder hunch had been lifted and a more confident man appeared in front of his eyes.
The bluish glow faded away slowly and Hephaestion came back to his senses as if he had been in a trance. He looked sideways and saw Alexander and the world surrounding him under a new and different light.
Hephaestion thanked Ares once more for giving such a kick to his battered courage but he also asked silently for Aphrodite's help; he knew that Ares could sometimes be ruthless and he never wanted to be that; he did not want to feel fear but he did not want people to be afraid of him; he wanted and needed to keep those feelings that made him feel normal … just human.
He was starting to lose that just acquired peace of mind when a gentle and warm feeling grew inside his chest. He immediately recognized the presence of his protector Aphrodite and her soothing words echoed inside his mind.
"Do not worry my child, your courage might have been boosted but your humanity will always remain intact, even if I have to take care of it myself.
Do your job and more gifts will be granted to assure you that you are worthy of all this and to make you understand that you have a crucial role in the Macedonian army and that you will increase your influence and your position will be steadier as time goes by.
Be brave my child, and assume your role in life!"
Her voice whispered and then it finally disappeared.
Both young men returned to the palace and for the first time, Alexander remained quiet, without making a single question or a statement; for the first time the prince knew he had to respect his friend and that he had to show him that the brunette could count on him at any time.
A few metres near the palace gates, Hephaestion turned round and looked at Alexander in his two coloured eyes and leaning forward slowly, he took the blonde's lips in a deep but gentle kiss. When it was over, he whispered his thanks against those reddish warm lips. The prince simply nodded and gave Hephaestion's hand a reassuring squeeze.
They shared dinner with the companions who were still there and then; they quietly retired to Alexander's room that had become their room lately. Alexander stripped Hephaestion of his dusty clothes; the brunette seemed as if his vital energy was abandoning him; he looked completely drained. The prince saw that and helped him by leading the tired young man to the bath area where he gave his lover a quick but relaxing bath with a soft cloth, as if he were bathing a baby. He dried him quickly with a smooth cotton towel and guided him back to the big bed that dominated most of the free space in the room.
Hephaestion sighed loudly as soon as his body touched the silk sheets and his eyes were immediately closing down. The blonde prince peppered the brunette's handsome face with numerous kisses, lingering on those pinkish and full lips. He continued with his ministrations along the strong neck and then he nibbled over the brownish and sensitive nipples. Another groan left Hephaestion's lips and Alexander decided that it was time to take in his own hands the release of his friend's arousal.
Jolts of pleasure raced down the brunette's spine and he finally relaxed after the intensity of his orgasm.
Alexander kissed him long for the last time before he spooned him and before the prince realized, Hephaestion's breathing was even and shallow showing that he was deeply asleep. Alexander kissed Hephaestion's shoulder and hiding his nose among the long tresses, he fell asleep next to his lover.
The following morning, a very shy page approached the brunette who was having his morning meal with Alexander and the rest of his friends. The young page cleared his throat and waited patiently until Hephaestion set his cyan eyes on him. The page blushed immediately and a sudden stutter affected his voice. The rest of the companions laughed loudly because it was a common reaction that Hephaestion provoked as soon as he set his eyes on anyone. The page looked back at him with dreamy eyes until a cold stare and the loud clearing of the prince's voice took him out of his dreamland.
"King Philip requests your presence" the page finally said.
"Alright. Could you tell me where he is?" Hephaestion asked politely.
"He is waiting for you at the Throne room" the page said.
"I will be there" Hephaestion replied and stood up immediately.
Alexander looked at him and he was about to stand up and go with Hephaestion but, thinking it better, he remained on his seat. Hephaestion smiled at him and patting the prince's shoulder, he followed the page.
Two hours later, Hephaestion returned and went directly to their chamber. He found Alexander there, who was looking for a new pair of sandals as one of the laces in his older pair was cut.
He saw Hephaestion preparing a leather bag and his heart immediately shrank; it was the same bag he had used for his travel to Troy and the brunette was putting extra clothes, cloaks and scrolls inside. He turned round and looking into Alexander's eyes, he said:
"Your father is sending me on a new diplomatic mission to Athens. I don't know how long it will take me but I promise to hurry back to you as soon as it is possible"
Hephaestion said without taking his eyes from his prince's face that could no longer hide his despair. The brunette could not hide his insecurity too but he knew that he could be what his king and army needed. It was what Aphrodite had already told him the day before.
The lovers shared a passionate kiss and a long embrace as if they wanted to keep their better half's warmth for the time they would be apart. Alexander saw his lover depart and his heart was already missing his brunette as soon as Hephaestion had crossed the palace gates.
The diplomatic mission was long and hard. Once again, the Athenian politicians and rulers questioned Hephaestion's youth but he proved them wrong. His quick mind, witty remarks and natural politeness got him what he had proposed at the beginning of his mission. He did such a good job that he got more contacts that the ones he had been asked for and he also had the chance to cross path with Demosthenes who wanted to keep him by his side and became his mentor. Hephaestion denied the offer politely; he was sure whom his loyalty belonged to.
When the mission was over, he decided to take two extra days to visit the city; a city he was enamored with and that he had not seen for more than ten years.
He visited the temple of Aphrodite and while he was there doing his libations, the goddess spoke into his mind as she had done before his trip. This time, the sweet Aphrodite told him that he had to visit the temple dedicated to her loving husband because there, a gift would be revealed to him because he had been able to get over his fears and achieve his goals in a magnificent way. She also added that the gift was recognition of the Olympians for being such a remarkable human being and because he had accepted with manliness his worth and position inside the Macedonian army.
Hephaestion blushed at such a big praise; nevertheless, he decided to go to the temple to discover what his gift was. He was quite curious about it and he had never gone to that temple before even though his name and the god's were related to each other.
The young diplomat and soldier stopped at the local market to buy some rich spices to burn in the god's altar. He arrived to the temple of Hephaestus and started to burn his offering. While he was deeply concentrated doing that, a thick cloud of grey mist appeared in front of his eyes. However, in the middle of that darkness, he saw a flash of light, as if it were a lightning bolt. When the mist started to clear, he listened to a low voice that asked him to outstretch his arms with the palms of his hands facing the ceiling.
Hephaestion did as he was asked and he suddenly felt a considerable weight on his hands. The mist disappeared completely and the mysterious gift was revealed. Hephaestion had in his hands the most beautiful sword he had ever seen; the scabbard was delicately engraved with scenes that revealed the making of the sword in the god's forge. The hilt was also engraved but it also allowed having a strong grip on it.
Hephaestus asked the young man to take the sword out because they needed to bond. The god also asked him to think a name for his sword and to whisper it over the blade so the sword would always recognize who her master was and she would only obey him.
Hephaestion was a bit confused and it must have reflected on his face. The god explained that it was a magic sword and it was as powerful as it was dangerous. Because of its power, it could not fall in anybody's hands so there was a spell on it "Only the one who named me could use me, only for defense, not only his but also to protect his loved ones"
Hephaestion did as he was asked and named his sword "Loyalty". As soon as the name was whispered, a reddish flame enveloped man and sword and the bond was completed.
Hephaestus asked Hephaestion to be a good man and wishing him good luck, he disappeared.
Hephaestion left the temple with his heart full of happiness and peace; he knew what his role was and he swore not to hesitate again.
A nervous young man went to Athens in order to find himself; a new man came back, completely reborn in the god's fire.