Friday
There is a great rush of students once the play ends – some to find the start of the party, others to dorms to finish getting ready, and some to god-knows-where. Rose clasps Kanaya's hands and they wind their way through the energetic crowd, filled with the joy of the end of a hard two weeks and a job well done. They come tripping up the stairs and rushing into the room, doors shut and dresses out, stripping quickly and zipping each other up. The two are dressed in matching black dresses, purchased once for some event or another, the only differences their hair (natural), nails (done before) and makeup – Kanaya goes for trademark jade, with metallic eyeliner and a light dusting of green eye-shadow, and Rose wear her well-worn jet, matched by sharp wings of eyeliner and a fading scale of black to grey eye-shadow. Sashes and lined heels of violet and jade, long necklaces with a single gem to offset plunging necklines, and they are ready in record time, through the door and down the stairs and across the grass, joining Nazia and her friends and everyone else as black night draws across the sky.
Rose seems a flawless gem; polished to perfection and glittering in the lights, her smile a million watts and her touch the spark that sets fire to Kanaya's skin, draws a smile onto her face and dusts a blush across her own darkened skin, and she hides her head in the shadows until Rose pulls her into the light. The two stick together like glue, flitting from person to person, laughter and light their only companions. The world seems to revolve around them until they seem to be at an epicentre of lights and people, music and warm bodies, and all her worries and insecurities seeming to float away until her perception shrinks down to the way Rose's skin feels against her own. All her hopes and prayers and dreams and wishes mean nothing and everything, and if she is to change her life she wishes tonight to be the night – she is beautiful and she will be braver than ever before. She feels people at her sides and she hears them talk to her and she knows she talks back and yet the words fly through her brain like so much air, made nothing by the thought of Rose.
The wave of people brings them on and forward and beyond, until they are somewhere who-knows-where, somewhere she has not found in all their explorings and yet, she feels safe, anchored by Rose's hand in hers. Somewhere, talking turns to dancing and drink after drink, and someone winds fairy lights around themselves and twirls past their eyesight, bulbs burnt into their eyelids long after they pass. People are all around her and Rose is in front of her and she feels she could kiss her here and now but no, no, and the night just goes. She does not count the time, does not feel the air change nor does she feel the deep-set tiredness that pervades her bones each night, no, for this night only her bones feel like nothing more than matchsticks and her skin is the fire that catches light and her eyes the fire that blazes and drink after dance after burning light sends them reeling from the main group and lying back on the grass, Rose lying on Kanaya's chest and pointing out all the stars. She could fall asleep there, on the cool grass with Rose's light weight pressed against her, and yet she knows she must not, knows that she must get up and bring Rose with her and take her back to their room and talk to her, yes, there were words to be said and secrets to be spoken and she rolls Rose over onto the grass and sits herself up and somehow, somehow talks her into coming back.
It is her who leads this time, her who takes Rose's hand and pulls her across the grass, dodging the occasional student making their way to and from the party until they are standing in front of the great windows, light spilling out across the grass and illuminating every part of Rose's face, the breeze catching in her dress and in her sash and the words spill out unbidden: "I love you, and that has made these last two weeks so hard and if you don't want it that it's okay but-" and she cannot speak, cannot vocalise the thought because-
Because Rose's hands are on her waist, seeming to burn through her dress to her skin and Rose's breath swirls across her lips before she kisses her, and it is all Kanaya has wanted.
Her own hands drop down to clasp Rose and pull her closer, leaning down a little so that Rose does not have to reach up to her, closing her eyes and taking in the moment, unable to process it and yet safe in the knowledge that it is all right.
Rose lets go, leans back, laughs in relief, smile playing across her face and breathy "how long" and "oh I've waited for this", leans forward to kiss her again, reaches up to angle Kanaya's head down, leans in and into her waiting arms, tangles her fingers in her hair and Kanaya has never kissed someone who was smiling before but somehow it tastes even sweeter.
They separate and Rose's eyes are shining and the smile on her face turns from relieved to wicked in half a breath and she leans against Kanaya's shoulder, lips skimming skin as she whispers in her ear, grins at the blush that plays back across her skin and laughs out loud, relief and happiness and longing mixed in one across her face and in her voice, and she knows not who leads and who follows, knows only that she loves Rose and Rose loves her back and there is naught else she could wish for.
They make it to the stone stairs that lead to the entrance to their dorm, and Kanaya pulls Rose back and pushes her against the wall and leans down to kiss her again and again, Rose's hands warm against her waist and back, her own holding Rose tight against her, skimming jade lips across her face and down her neck till Rose pushes her off and smiling tells her to wait, be patient, let what's coming come, and Kanaya laughs at that and it just goes until Rose closes the door to their room and the two look at each other expectantly.
Kanaya is not a mind reader and still Rose's face is hard to read and she hesitates, not knowing how far Rose wishes to go and whether or not she wants to wait until things are more private and she stays her hands and looks down, and in the end it is Rose who takes the first step, reaching across to pull her close, to place Kanaya's hands at the knot of her sash and wait as she unties it, watching as Rose twirls out of the fabric and throws it on her bed then does the same for her – somehow, she cannot speak to break the spell – and Rose unzips her dress slowly, easing her out of it and reciprocating in turn till the two stand across from each other in underclothes only, and Kanaya burns to see ivory skin unhidden and she can see the way Rose's eyes track down her body, sudden self-consciousness removed when Rose steps closer to her until she can feel her breath on her skin and the full intensity of her gaze, and Rose says in a shaky voice "I want it all" and it just goes.
They come together suddenly, in time as if practiced and Kanaya turns and pulls her, sits down on one of their chairs and pulls her into her lap, reaches up to kiss her, wraps her arms around her waist and loves all of her, from the breaths that puff across her lips to the way her arms crook around her neck and the soft arch in her voice as Kanaya unhooks her bra. She breaks away to let Rose catch her breath, moves her own lips down across her neck and hears every catch in Rose's breathe, catalogues each change and each noise of pleasure, rocks her back to kiss down the swell of her breast and take her nipple in tongue, sucking it and applying just the slightest pressure before skipping to the other one as Rose throws her head back and sighs, moving one hand down to unhook Kanaya's bra and throwing it to the side, and sighing at the way the two feel against each other.
Rose seems happy but she knows she could make her happier, and she clamps one arm around her waist and moves the other hand down, skimming down her stomach to dally at the rim of her underwear before foregoing it and choosing to apply pressure instead, pressing wicked kisses against the swell of her breasts and her sternum as she changes pressure and angles her hand until Rose is sweaty and breathless, voice catching in sighs and hums as wetness seeps through onto Kanaya's hands and she makes to lift her up to slide the underwear off, but Rose catches her arm, stops her, and through broken breaths says "no, no," and then "no I mean yes, I want more, but not here, on a bed" in response to the look that breaks across Kanaya's face.
"Can you walk?" she replies with a laugh and
"Of course!"
But of course she can't, and Kanaya is glad of her smaller frame when she lifts her up and brings her over to the closest bed – it would be Kanaya's – and sits herself on it, perching Rose on her lap until she scoots the two up and laughs as Rose rests against her chest to catch her breath, hand moving absently down across her chest to start applying a gentle pressure and Rose's breath catches again before she foregoes words to pull her hands away, push them against the bed with a look that says stay and lifts her hips to remove Kanaya's underwear, smiling at the sight and kissing down her chest and stomach before she skims soft skin that leads underneath and presses a soft kiss to – her magic button, she'd heard it called – and magic it seems, and so it seems that sex makes her cliché but her thoughts steal away again as a gentle pressure opens her legs and Rose's kisses slide down, turn to licks and breaths and kisses again and again, gentle but each one sets a new fire under her skin and she blazes on, till finally she catches Rose's arm and pulls her up again.
They shift and change once more, Rose's turn to lie against the bed as Kanaya kisses her softness, before pulling herself up again as lips drift across the expanse of her skin and one hand rests by Rose's waist as the other slips in a little, crooks, and she watches the play of emotions across Rose's face – surprise, pleasure, desire – and waits until just the right moment and deepens and adds till she is moving and pushing and matching Rose's sighs for sighs her own, echoing her movement and pushing back when wanted, breath quick against Rose's skin and watching as her head falls back, her eyes slide shut and the moan slides softly from Rose's throat as the pressure becomes just enough to satisfy, and her fingers slide out of Rose, hastened by her come. Rose catches her breath and looks up at her, reaching out questioningly, but Kanaya shakes her head and satisfies herself instead, content with Rose's licks and kisses across her neck, down her breast, the slight sucking on her nipple and the feel of Rose beneath and around her.
Finally, with a rush and a moan, she finishes, lets the waves of desire break over her and slips down, crams in beside Rose. The bed is not really big enough for the two of them, and she can feel them both slipping off the edge and knows that she will have to take the spare bed tonight – Rose laughs at that and says that she'd invite her into her own except neither would get any sleep – and then the two simply lie together, breathing. Kanaya traces her fingers across Rose's skin and tangles their legs together, unwilling to let her go now she finally has her, and Rose is happy to hide her face in Kanaya's neck and press the occasional, warm kiss to her neck.
Eventually, Kanaya knows she must sit up, must gather her clothes and get changed and take her makeup off and slip into the spare bed and she knows that Rose must take her own and they must close the window and curtains and somehow fall asleep and yet the world just seems so distant from Rose's arms.
"Damn these walls,
In the moment we're ten feet tall,
And how you told me after it all,
We'd remember tonight
For the rest of our lives."
1) The world of f/f smut is very different from m/m and I'm still learning, so apologies if this is awful.
2) Soundtrack change! When I saw the video for this song I immediately associated it with how the party would look in my head, and there we go. It was surprisingly easy to write smut to. Sorry, Birdy fans, just ruined this song for you forever.
3) Finale tomorrow.