Saturday

Kanaya wishes in her heart of hearts that she could escape the cliché thoughts that swim, sluggish, through her brain and yet she finds that they permeate every part of her, as she rolls onto her back and watches light crawl across the ceiling, waking from one of the most restful nights in her recent life. Plagued by neither the intermittent sleep that accompanies stress nor the night visions that haunted her desperate mind, she awakens to find herself refreshed, happy and relieved. Rose, she knows, lies in the bed across from her still deep in her dreaming, and yet she knows that she could waken her with a kiss, hold her hand over the table, be brave and happy around her without carrying shame, guilt or jealousy along on her shoulders.

School is over and the final vestiges of summer remain to be enjoyed to their fullest, she thinks and exults in the thought. The happiness and relief that had been waiting in her chest bursts out in the smile that spreads over her face as she closes the door, and it hangs over her shoulder throughout breakfast, when she bids goodbye to her early-morning friends, it stays by her side when she returns to find Rose awake, and it taps her gently on the shoulder and reminds her that she should emerge from the warmth of Rose's embrace and finish packing. Now that she has her, Rose seems unwilling to let her go ever, and Kanaya is tempted to acquiesce – except that they have the rest of the summer together, and they really do need to pack up.

It takes a while, but eventually the room is empty – a sanity check by each to satisfy and bags are in the hall and the two head down the gravelled path to the lecture theatre for one last time. The sun is shining, appropriately, and the skies above seem an endless sea of azure, stretching from the horizon to infinity. Outside the lecture theatre, they meet friends to say goodbye one last time, and Kanaya finds that they stand close together, not necessarily always physically connected but close enough to feel each other's presence. Kanaya breaks the spell to take Nazia aside and make some very embarrassing confessions, and when her peal of laughter brings all the attention to them, she slinks back to Rose's side, cheeks burning. The wicked look in Rose's eyes implies that she knows the reason for her blushes, and she gets the feeling that she will be hauled over coals later. She does not complain.

They take their seats inside the theatre and listen to the director talk at them for an hour, each and every one dreaming of emerald grass and sapphire skies, and finally they are let out, and hugs and contact details and final goodbyes later, they are gone.

They are on the coach, and they sit as close together as they can, hands curled together and lost in their own world. They are on the train and they sit in silence and watch the world pass by and think and think and finally Kanaya leans over to break the silence.

"I suppose we never made it official. Will you be my girlfriend?"

The smile that breaks across Rose's face makes it all worth it.

"Yes," she says. "Yes, I will," and it is all Kanaya needs. She takes both of Rose's hands in her own and smiles and smiles, until Rose says "So, why did it take you so long?"

And she confesses all her cowardices, all her shame and guilt and jealousy impacting, and how she came so close on Saturday and broke at the last moment, and how much work it took to convince herself on Friday, and she confesses that half of her wanted to kiss her under the fairy lights and let the future come, and the other half wanted to confess under the dark of near-sleep and have it be said without the fear of the repercussions.

Rose understands and says that, for herself, it was much the same – Kanaya's sexuality was hardly a secret, and Rose both doubted that Kanaya would want someone generally known to be straight such as herself and found herself unable to get up the bravery to confess to her, even with liquid courage firing through her veins.

"It is done now," Kanaya says finally, "and no matter how messily, it is done. I love you, and I have for some time and will continue to do so, and you know, and you love me, and we are together.

It is done now."

And, of course, Rose teases her for confiding in and confessing to Nazia, and she gets out the truth of what happened on Saturday and she laughs at the way Kanaya describes the way she spent the conversations she didn't understand.

She is, Kanaya knows, human and imperfect, but it is hard to see that here. She knows that Rose knows the same self-doubt and fear as her, knows that Rose has weaknesses and knows that she spent most of Friday night hovering between fear and desire as Kanaya took charge of the situation, herself not knowing what happens when. She knows that she and Rose will still attract attention, wanted and unwanted, and that the two will go to different universities and form separate friendship groups, and yet somehow she feels that she will still be able to look across the grass and find Rose sitting in the shade, conversations waiting on the tip of her tongue.

Too soon, their stop arrives, and too soon, they are leaving the platform and winding through the station to find lunch. Too soon, they finish their sandwiches and too soon, Kanaya's phone rings, her mother asking her where she is. She says that she was eating with Rose before leaving and promises to be home soon, and true to form, too soon, they separate.

She kisses Rose goodbye in the sunshine and watches as she turns to find her bus, waving at the last minute and laughing inside at her distraction.

The last stretch of her journey passes in a heartbeat, and she emerges blinking into the sunlight to find her family waiting, hugs and car ready, and she sits in the back next to her sisters and tells story after story and all the while she remembers how it felt to have Rose in her arms and on her lips.

Eventually, her phone buzzes and she excuses herself to check it – it is a text from Rose.

It says: "Family holiday has been cancelled. I have four weeks of summer left and I intend to enjoy it. Are you busy tomorrow?"

And the warmth that rises in her chest makes it all worth it.

And there we have it. Finished, and in good time as well :O

Writing this in such a manner - for me, almost in real time with quick updates so that the story is read is takes place, in a period of two weeks - was both an experiment and a challenge, and while there was success in both parts, it's not something I'll do again. Having to sit down every night and force yourself to write 800-1000 words, no matter how tired or uninspired you are, is not fun, and I know that if I had let myself, you'd be reading this in a few months.

Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this - the story has been plaguing my mind for a few months now and while I love it, I'm glad it's done. As always, if you have any feedback or questions at all, please let me know.

Thank you for reading.