I woke up just a few minutes after falling asleep when something... something didn't feel right.

Or rather – something was there that wasn't supposed to be.

I groaned, shoving at the something, and felt it shove back. Opening eyes was an effort. I wanted to sleep. I was so drunk. The thought made me giggle, a sleepy giggle, and I twisted back over to fall asleep. There wasn't something there. It had to be the plushies.

It was very early when moonlight woke me, blinding me, triggering my hangover to come smashing down over my head with one hell of a WHOOP.

"No..." I groaned, twisting, trying to find something to hide head under. "Go away. Nasty moon. Go away. Too early."

Something moved suddenly then, the bed sagged, and my eyes flew open in panic as someone... not something!... got up, wandered to the curtains, shut them, and attempted to flop back in the bed again.

"Ro...Robbie?" I blinked, twisting around in an attempt to keep them within eyesight, cringing as the movement brought up a wave of pain. Oh god. It had to be a dream. I was sick. I was hungover. I was still drunk. Or something like that. "I drank too much."

"Me too."

The familiar voice brought me to my senses fast. It was Roberto. He flopped back into my bed, MY BED, and shut his eyes, groaning softly as his head sunk into a pile of fish plushies that he must have been using as a pillow. "Phia, make it go away, make the beer go away. I must be drunk. All I can see are fish."

I shoved him out of the bed. All the anger, resentment and pain came up to momentarily overpower the hangover and it was with very great satisfaction that I heard a loud thump, and saw that pile of fish fall on top of his head. "Wha... What the hell!"

"Shhh!" Roberto's head popped up as he tried to get up onto his feet, stumbling, nearly tripping over a squeaky toy as he lunged for my head. A hand grasped my mouth clumsily as he tried to get onto the bed again, every movement unsteady, smelling strongly of alcohol as he warned me with great seriousness. "Al... Alberto... or the … those women... they'll hear you, and then it's over. Over, Phia, over." He stroked my face with his hand, palm brushing over my mouth, his unfocused eyes trying to find mine in the dark. "Shh, shh, go to sleep again. Like an angel. On the fish."

He was making no sense. Then again, maybe he wasn't really here, and I had fallen asleep.

I did fall asleep for a few seconds, I thought, or maybe a few minutes. It was a sudden movement on the bed beside me as Roberto coughed that caused my conciousness to return and I muttered, "This is my room..."

"Exactly." He flopped down sideways across the bed, head on my stomach, and shut his eyes as he cuddled up to me. "This is your room. It's safe. They won't find me here. Shh."

I gaped at him as he started to fall asleep again. What the … what the hell? Oh no. This was not okay. What was I? "I'm not your cuddle bootycall... Roberto, get up! Before I call Alberto." I tried to shove him back off the bed but he was firmly attached now, arms tightening around me, a pout on his face as he mumbled something under his breath.

"I love you, Phia-bear, don't be mad. Don't be. It'll be a bad dream then. Don't call Alberto." Roberto pouted, eyes fluttering open in the dim light, searching for my face. One of his hands grasped for it and clumsily patted it. "Don't be mad."

I flushed bright red at that, heart thumping hard, freezing underneath his head. He seemed to be asleep again. Wh... what had he said? Hurt coursed through me. Wh... why was he saying that? "Get off me, Roberto, or I'll call for Alberto."

"Is Alberto here?" His head jerked up. Roberto frowned and waved his hand at something, eyes shutting, head slumping. "Al...Alberto... stop them. I don't wanna be their friend anymore."\

Roberto's legs slid up higher till they were almost against his chest and he grabbed for one of the pillows, snuggling into it, frowning. He was clearly asleep again. He groaned, "Don't want … don't want to date … Al... make it stop. Bring Phia back."

I lay there on my back, confused, not sure he was making much sense. Or was he? I didn't know. I wanted to cry, laugh, and sleep, and it was too confusing for my brain to cope with. I felt too drunk to think. "Robbie... come on, please stop torturing me... you're only here cause you're drunk."

Right?

He lifted his head suddenly, grasping for something, and twisted around to snuggle against my side. "Phia. When did you come here?"

"It's my room!" I tried to sit up and nearly fell over, my own head spinning, adding, "Don't tease me."

"It's my room. Isn't it? You want a story?" He was tugging a book open, even though it was too dark to read, Roberto's eyes focusing and unfocused. "The... the words... they are not … staying still." His head slumped backwards and his breathing slowed again, book flopping on his chest, body relaxing.

"This is so not fair." I groaned. He'd wake up tomorrow and hate me or something. I tried to roll out of bed but the Roberto monster grasped tighter onto me and I was more or less held there. "Where are the magic butlers?"

Once again I fell asleep. It was a long sleep this time, or at least I had to assume so, because when I woke there was some trace of dawn outside the windows. Roberto rolled over, kneeing me, his arms flopping as he grasped onto my waist and held on again.

"Why don't they like my Phia, Alberto?" He pouted in his sleep, mumbling, genuine sadness all over his face. "I … I can't make them like her."

"Um. It is Sophia." Did he mean the women? I wanted to ask him. I wanted to know what he meant by 'can't make them like her'.

"So... Sophia." Roberto moaned softly. He flailed for a moment. "Danger. Wils... go protect her, okay?"

I froze at that. He didn't seem to notice, too caught up in mumbling to himself, his eyes fluttering under his long dark lashes.

Had he asked Wilifred to keep an eye on me?

My heart thudded harder, face warming, hurt and love washing over me. I didn't know what to think anymore. It hurt to have him do this- I was so afraid that he'd wake up, run back to his room, and pretend he … it never happened. Or he'd forget. Or he'd deny it. Or he was so confused right now that it wasn't the real him.

"I love my Phia... love … but those women. I can't make them like her." He reached out to touch my face, palm brushing against it, curling his arm around my neck. "My Sophia has to be liked. Phia... they have to like … or else... or else they'll be so mean when I marry her, won't they, Al? She'll cry. Then I'll cry." His head jerked up, peering around, as if he'd expected to see those women then and there.

M... marry? I froze, stiffening, as his cheek rubbed against mine, one of his arms pulling me close as he snuggled into my side. "Roberto, I am Sophia..."

"My Phia. My woman." He agreed and started to breathe slower, mumbling more and more, "Ruined everything. Now... now I can't … can't breathe around her, or think, and... and I feel bad when I try and run away from duties... ruined all my fun. Got to become a man, got to stop running away from those women, got to … got to protect my Phia now..."

He fell asleep again, his head falling back, and left me lying there. Wide awake. I didn't want to forget. I couldn't. I grabbed for my phone and tried to write it down, resisting the urge to sleep as well, and texted him.

'robbie- u r stupid drunk and if u dont date me 2nit u not forgiven. Drnk phia. ps... stuid drunk who propses drunk!'

When I heard a phone ding in his clothing, I sighed, shut my eyes and fell asleep. There. Women taking charge.

This time I remembered everything.

Oh god. What had I texted Roberto?

I'd asked him on a date. What the hell had I been thinking?

He was wide awake, lying on his side, grinning like a Cheshire cat as our eyes met. Roberto looked far too pleased with himself.

"Okay. I'll take you on a date tonight." He decided, and pounced suddenly, grabbing me and yanking me on top of him. Roberto rolled on top of me, grasping my wrist in one hand, the other turning my chip up. "Men usually ask, you know, you don't have to take the lead in everything..."

"W...woah, hang on there, yo.. .you've got explaining to do!"

"Oh. I guess so." He shrugged suddenly and kissed my forehead before he pressed kisses all over my face. "I love you, Phia-bear, and … and so I had to make those women love you too."

I could barely breathe and it had nothing to do with his weight on me, although that was having some effects on other parts of my body, my heart thudding painfully. "Are... are you still dreaming?"

"Probably." He agreed, stretching as he slid back, yawning a giant yawn. "I need coffee. How about you? Our first morning together so how about we eat breakfast together too."

Roberto was so casual about it, so affectionate, and a dam burst inside me. I was relieved, scared, and angry, and the only appropriate response was crying. And smacking him. What if he only meant friendship love? I was so afraid and I hated it.

"He... hey!" He protested, shifting off me, face draining of blood. "Did I hurt your leg?"

A little, actually, but that wasn't why I … "I... I don't want you to keep this up! You said I ruined it. You rejected me. I don't know what you mean anymore. Now you're nice all of a sudden?"

"Sorry..." Roberto's smile faded as he stared at me. He grasped his sleeve and wiped my face, leaning down to kiss my forehead again, pressing his forehead against mine. "Sorry. I didn't really reject you. I just … I... I was scared. To say it."

"So I had to?"

"I was going to say it to everyone, you as well, as soon as those women liked you. But the more I tried to befriend them and tell them all the good things about you, the more they resented you. I don't get it." He frowned and scratched his head. "They didn't even think the crown was cute."

"The crown?"

"You gave it to me."

Oh. The fish crown.

"But... you used the word ruin!"

Roberto hesitated. He glanced away suddenly, and my heart froze, but he mumbled, "I guess it was the wrong word. I meant... I meant... now I have to be a man, don't I? Wait for your leg to heal before I start running away again, do my duties, and … and I guess, think about the throne too. I didn't care before but now I do. It matters to me."

"That's what you meant?"

"I think it's a good thing. But..." Roberto leaned down to prod my face with his. "I'm going to start running away on adventures as soon as you can. I won't be responsible all the time. Now all my boring life is ruined because I have Phia to be there to reward me between work, and I can feel motivated all the time because I have Phia there to impress. Boring life. Ruined!"

"You've been on dates!" I tried to shove him back as my body responded faster than my scared heart would. It had to calm down. I wanted to kiss him. He was being so damn sweet like I remembered.

"No, they were chances for me to tell them all the great things about you." Roberto sat up slowly, his breathing faster, and he slid up slowly. "They don't like you and I can't hide it so … so they had to like you before I told them that it was you." He started to run his hands up my stomach, slowly, adding, "I... have been waiting ages to do this..."

"That's why you've been ignoring me? That's stupid." I wanted to slap him but one sudden movement had my headache going threefold. "Oh god, my head..."

Roberto seemed to calm down, tugging his hands away, and I wondered if maybe he was still a little drunk to be so … so touchy. Maybe. He grasped his phone and started to fiddle with it. "Oh. You're hungover. I'll get Al to bring us breakfast and you something for your head."

"He can't see us in bed like this." I protested. I tried to shove him off me but he just readjusted himself and leaned against me, wrapping his arms around me, our bodies pressed together in an incredibly intimate way. "Roberto!"

"So what? You're my girlfriend and I'm taking you on a date. I've already told everyone."

I went pale again as he held up his phone. He wasn't kidding. There they were, all the Princes, and from the few I could see, it was either 'Please don't message me this early' or 'Congratulations'.

Woah. My head spun. Roberto had just taken what I'd said, gone with it, and moved ahead several paces. Girlfriend. I was … was I?

"I love you, Phia." Roberto's hand returned to my head but this time he was gently, stroking my hair, his breathing slowing. "You don't know how hard it was to not do this after you said that..."

"You didn't tell me because..."

"Because if I did, then I'd have to tell everyone, and those women would be nasty. More than they are now." Roberto seemed to think this was an obvious explanation. I didn't. "They know now though. Two have already left."

From the clock on the wall it was only seven in the morning. So when Roberto said 'everyone'... he must have literally meant everyone.

"I couldn't keep it a secret once I said it out loud." He continued, face softening into a gentler smile, leaning down to kiss me. No one had kissed me like this before, no one, it was tender, sweet, and yet it triggered something inside me that made all the last resistance to this shatter.

It felt real.

Roberto sighed against my lips. "So everyone knows now. They even know you asked me. I think Keithy was impressed. I don't know. He said some very un-prince-like things on the phone."

It felt like a dream. I was sure it had to be and pinched myself, trying to wake up, ignoring his amused look. When I did not wake, I snapped suddenly, anger bursting out, "Roberto, I've been really upset! I thought you rejected me!"

Roberto froze at that and his face fell. I almost regretted telling him. Almost. He sighed and bowed down low on the bed, forehead on the blanket, muttering, "I'm sorry. I didn't think about that. I just wanted to get started on fixing their feelings about you. Do you know the kinds of things they kept saying?"

"Screw their feelings! They can hate me if they like!" I sat up and flicked his face. "I don't care about them. It's your feelings that mattered... and I thought you wanted to marry one of them."

"Aww, Phia, don't be sad. Come here. I'm not going to marry any of them ever." Roberto slid closer and hugged me close, kissing me again and again, heat and love filling me as he kept trying to show his affection. "My girl."

"You put your arm around them yesterday..." I added, trembling. I felt kind of betrayed, angry, amused and … and really happy. Oh my god. "You haven't even looked me in the eye..." I had to let it go. I tried, breathing slowly, and almost by instinct I kissed his neck slowly, inhaling his natural sleepy scent.

"They're ladies of Alteria." Roberto explained. "I wanted them to accept you. Dad already agreed you were suitable so..."

"You asked the King?"

When he nodded, I gave up being angry, flopping against him. His arms tightened around me and hugged me close, his heart thudding fast against my body, his face nuzzling into my neck. "As soon as you told me that you felt that way... I had to run all the way to my room and tell dad all about you."

"Or you could have just stayed and said how you feel."

"Okay. I'll say it now. Again. I love you. I love you. I lo-"

I cut him off, grasping his face, and kissed him gently. Roberto leaned against me, his lips curved up as we kissed again and again, the pent up feelings finally being released.

"I love you too. Silly Robbie."

"You're calling me Robbie."

"Only for special occasions." I said quickly, shutting my eyes, breathing out slowly as our foreheads bumped gently together. I felt our breath intermingle as we sat there like that. "You sure this isn't a dream?"

I felt a painful pinch and opened my eyes to see Roberto still there, grinning, and whacked him.

"It feels a bit like one. Doesn't it? Why do you live in a fish bowl?" He gazed around the room slowly. Roberto's grin grew wider when I explained and when I muttered something about Prince Keith being obsessed with dolphins, he shook his head. "Nope, not Keithy. His sister. Cathy. He probably bought them so she could have them."

"...He has a sister?"

"Never mind that. I want to try that kissing again before Alberto shows up."

We 'practised' and was barely aware of our first visitor. Not Alberto. Prince Keith.

The poor Prince stormed in, already half ranting about his guests being pranked in the middle of the night, but I didn't even get to see him. Roberto had shoved a pillow over my face to hide 'the look only for him' or something and had chased Prince Keith out with a pillow.

Alberto was lucky. He came with offerings of breakfast and coffee, closely followed by the maid who'd helped me last night, and by then I'd already gotten up and had taken Otis outside. He wordlessly set the food up outside in the early morning sunlight, this strange little half smile on his face as his eyes met mine, before he vanished.

I stared at Roberto, who was trying very hard to eat one handed while he held my hand, I couldn't believe it had really … he'd really...

I mean, really. He was just trying to get them to like me? If it was anyone else I would have had trouble believing it. But Roberto was so used to being liked by everyone, even if some people- Prince Joshua – pretended otherwise, that I could see that might bother him a little. Or a lot. They'd been pretty nasty.

He flushed suddenly, gazing up, and his warm brown eyes met mine. "You're embarrassing me with all that staring."

"S... sorry." I smiled, eyes ducking down to my barely touched plate, only to gaze back up. The sunlight made his hair pretty. "You're... sorry. Yeah. Breakfast."

"I'm what?" He nudged me under the table.

"You're... you're... um. Like a big seal." I muttered, gazing away, cheeks warming.

"Thanks." He grinned and squeezed my hand.

I tried my hardest to eat, the pills helping with my headache and my leg ache, and even though our hands were sweaty, I had to admit I agreed... I didn't want to let go of his hand either. It felt too good and I was so exhausted from the emotional toll of the past few days that I didn't want to let go. Just in case this was a dream. He wasn't my first boyfriend but it felt that way, it felt new, kind of scary, vulnerable, and I was once again so shy and so nervous about every little thing.

"I'll tell you where we're going for our date." Roberto spoke up after breakfast, leaning on his free hand, staring at me as much as I'd stared at him. "Okay?"

"Mmhmm. Don't bring your dates."

"Nope. They're done for now." There was a tenseness suddenly though, as if there was something still bothering him, but Roberto hid it quickly. I wasn't brave enough this morning to ask.

Prince Keith returned and crossed his arms as he found us still in our Pjs, still touching each other, his face flustered. "Aren't you two going to get ready for the day?"

"Nope. We're spending the day in Phia's room."

This got the strangest reaction in Prince Keith's face, a kind of twitch, his ears going red, and his anger rising up to hide embarrassment. He scowled at Roberto. "You may but she's got work to do."

"Work?"

"You're off to the cinema. We're going to try again."